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arcticdementor · 3 years

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“Hey bro! Check out this Nike ad!” This was my entry point into a new world.

…

Since Carlos had lived mostly outside the United States, he was able to follow soccer on a level I’d never encountered in my hometown. Back then, before social media and the advent of scarf-wearing Northwestern fútbol hipsters, big-time European soccer was like the metric system: Known to almost all but ourselves. But Carlos knew, and immediately used LimeWire to curate me a massive archive of 1990s through early 2000s soccer highlights. What was I doing in the world without them?

Oddly enough, in trying to inculcate me in soccer fandom, he started not with game highlights, but with the advertisements. Yes, Carlos was an educator and a voluntary footsoldier for Big Apparel. Going in, I had no clue about high-quality, internationally popular Nike soccer ads. The ads, written by the legendary Wieden+Kennedy firm, were miniature movies, films that were often creatively daring but also quite funny. The most popular of these ads might be “Good vs. Evil,” from 1996, where Nike’s best soccer players team up to play Satan’s literal army. The blending of sacrilege, theology and comedy just worked, like a more ambitious version of Space Jam that somehow took itself less seriously than Space Jam.

…

Yes, I know ads aren’t supposed to be high art. I understand that they are the purest distillation of manipulative greed. And yet, they sometimes are culturally relevant generational touchstones. While Nike was weaving soccer into enduring pop culture abroad, it was having a similar kind of success with basketball and baseball stateside. These ads weren’t just pure ephemera. Michael Jordan’s commercials were so good that, as he nears age 60, his sneaker still outsells any modern athlete’s. “Chicks dig the long ball” is a phrase (a) that can get you sent to the modern HR department and b) whose origins are fondly remembered by most American men over the age of 35.

Modern Nike ads will never be so remembered. It’s not because we’re so inundated with information these days, though we are. And it’s not because today’s overexposed athletes lack the mystique of the 1990s superstars, though they do. It’s because the modern Nike ads are beyond fucking terrible.

…

They’re bad for many causes, but one in particular is an incongruity at the company’s heart. Nike, like so many major institutions, is suffering from what I’ll call Existence Dissonance. It’s happening in a particular way, for a particular reason and the result is that what Nike is happens to be at cross-purposes from what Nike aspires to be.

…

For all the talk of a racial reckoning within major industries, Nike’s main problem is this: It’s a company built on masculinity, most specifically Michael Jordan’s alpha dog brand of it. Now, due to its own ambitions, scandals, and intellectual trends, Nike finds masculinity problematic enough to loudly reject.

This rejection is part of the broader culture war, but it’s accelerating due to an arcane quirk in the apparel giant’s strange restructuring plan, announced in June. Under the leadership of new CEO John Donahoe, Nike is moving away from its classic discrete sports categories (Nike Basketball, Nike Soccer, etc.) in favor of a system where all products are shoveled into one of three divisions: men’s, women’s and kids’. Obviously Nike made clothing tailored to the specificities of all these groups before, but now, Nike is emphasizing gender over sport. Gone is the model of the product appealing to basketball fans because they are basketball fans. It’s now replaced by a model of, say, the product appealing to women because they are women.

And hey, women buy sneakers too. Actually, women buy the lion’s share of clothing in the United States. While women shoppers are market dominant in nearly every aspect of American apparel, the clothing multinational named after a Greek goddess happens to be a major exception. At Nike, according to its own records, men account for roughly twice as much revenue as women do.

You might see that stat and think, “Well, this means that Nike will prioritize men over women in its new, odd, gendered segmentation of the company.” That’s not necessarily how this all works, thanks to a phenomenon I’ll call Undecided Whale. The idea is that a company, as its aims grow more expansive, starts catering less to the locked-in core customer and more to a potential whale which demonstrates some interest. Sure, you can just keep doing what’s made you rich, but how can you even focus on your primary business with that whale out there, swimming so tantalizingly close? The whale, should you bring it in, has the potential to enrich you far more than your core customers ever did. And yeah yeah yeah, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but those were birds. This is a damned whale! And so you start forgetting about your base.

You can see this dynamic in other places. For the NBA, China is its Undecided Whale. It could be argued that the NBA fixates more on China than on America, even if the vast majority of TV money comes from U.S. viewership. The league figures it has more or less hit its ceiling in its home country, so China becomes an obsession as this massive, theoretical growth engine.

…

Here’s the main issue for Nike in this endeavor: The company, as a raison d’être, promotes athletic excellence. While women are among Nike’s major sports stars, the core of high-level performance, in the overwhelming majority of sports, is male. Every sane person knows that, though nobody in professional class life seems rude enough to say so. Obviously, there’s the observable reality of who tends to set records and there’s also the pervasive understanding that testosterone, the main male sex hormone, happens to give unfair advantages to the athletes who inject it.

Speaking of which, there’s a famous This American Life episode from 2002 where the public radio journos actually test their own testosterone levels. The big joke of the episode is just how comically low their T levels are. Sure, you would stereotype bookish public radio men in this way, and yet the results are on the nose enough to shock.

As a nerdy media-weakling type, I can relate to the stunning realization that you’ve been largely living apart from T. Before working in the NBA setting, I was an intern in the cubicles of Salon.com’s San Francisco office, around the time it was shifting from respectable online magazine into inane outrage content mill. Going from that setting to the NBA locker room was some jarring whiplash, like leaving the faculty lounge for a pirate ship. To quote Charles Barkley on the latter culture, “The locker room is sexist, racist, and homophobic … and it’s fun and I miss it.”

…

The “Good vs. Evil” ad boasts a “Like” to “Dislike” ratio of 20-to-1 on YouTube. On June 17th of 2021, Nike put out an ad ahead of the Euro Cup that referenced “Good vs. Evil” as briefly as it could. In this case, a little child popped his collar and used Cantona’s catchphrase. As of this writing, the new ad has earned a thousand more punches of the Dislike than of the Like button.

When you see it, it’s no surprise that the latest Euro Cup ad is disliked. I mean, you have to look at this shit. I know we’re so numb to the ever-escalating emanations of radical chic from our largest corporations, but sometimes it’s worth pausing just to take stock and gawk.

…

But today we are in the land of new football, where we take dictatorial direction from less-than-athletic minors. After her announcement, we are treated to a montage of different people who offer tolerance bromides.

“There are no borders here!”

“Here, you can be whoever you want. Be with whoever you want.”

(Two men kiss following that line, because subtlety isn’t part of this new world order.)

Then, a woman who appears to be breastfeeding under a soccer shirt, threatens, in French, “And if you disagree …”

And this is when the little boy gives us Cantona’s “au revoir” line before kicking a ball out of a soccer stadium, presumably because that’s what happens to the ignorant soccer hooligan. He gets kicked out for raging against gay men kissing or French ladies breastfeeding or somesuch. Later, a referee wearing a hijab instructs us, “Leave the hate,” before narrator girl explains, “You might as well join us because no one can stop us.”

Is that last line supposed to be … inspiring? That’s what a movie villain says, like if Bane took the form of Stan Marsh’s sister. Speaking of which, was this ad actually written by the creators of South Park as an elaborate prank? It’s certainly more convincing as an aggressive parody of liberals than as a sales pitch. Why, in anything other than a comedic setup, is a woman breastfeeding in a big-budget Euro Cup ad?

It’s tempting to fall into the pro-vanguardism template the boomers have handed down to us and sheepishly say, “I must be getting old, because this seems weird to me,” but let’s get real. You dislike this ad because it sucks. You are having a natural, human response to shitty art. This a hollow sermon from a priest whose sins were in the papers. Nobody is impressed by what Nike’s doing here. Nobody thinks Nike, a multinational famous for its sweatshops, is ushering us into an enlightened utopia. Sure, most media types are afraid to criticize the ad publicly. You might inspire suspicion that what you’re secretly against is men kissing and women breastfeeding, but nobody actually likes the stupid ad. No college kid would show it to a new friend he’s trying to impress, and it’s hard to envision a massive cohort of Gen Z women giving a shit about this ad either.

Now juxtapose that ad not just against the classics of the 1990s but also the 2000s products that preceded the Great Awokening. Compare it to another Nike Euro Cup advertisement, Guy Ritchie’s “Take It to the Next Level.”

…

Here’s the problem, insofar as problems are pretended into existence by our media class: The ad is very, very male. Really, what we are watching here is a boyhood fantasy. Our protagonist gets called up to the big show, and next thing you know he’s cavorting with multiple ladies, and autographing titties to the chagrin of his date. He can be seen buying a luxury sports car and arriving at his childhood home in it as his father beams with pride. Training sessions show him either puking from exhaustion or playing grab-ass with his fellow soccer bros. This is jock life, distilled. Art works when it’s true and it’s true that this is a vivid depiction of a common fantasy realized.

Nike’s highly successful “Write the Future” ad (16,000 Likes, 257 Dislikes) works along similar themes.

…

The recent Olympic ads were especially heavy on cringe radical chic, and might have stood out less in this respect if the athletes themselves mirrored that tone on the big stage. Not so much in these Olympics. It seems as though Nike made the commercials in preparation for an explosion of telegenic activism, only to see American athletes mostly, quietly accept their medals, chomp down on the gold, and praise God or country. Perhaps you could consider Simone Biles bowing out of events due to mental health as a form of activism, but overall, the athletes basically behaved in the manner they would have back in 1996.

But Nike forged onwards anyway. This ad in celebration of the U.S. women’s basketball team made some waves, getting ripped in conservative media as the latest offense by woke capital.

…

“Today I have a presentation on dynasties,” a pink-haired teenage girl tells us. “But I refuse to talk about the ancient history and drama. That’s just the patriarchy. Instead, I’m going to talk about a dynasty that I actually look up to. An all-women dynasty. Women of color. Gay women. Women who fight for social justice. Women with a jump shot. A dynasty that makes your favorite men’s basketball, football, and baseball teams look like amateurs.”

When she says, “That’s just the patriarchy,” the camera pans to a bust of (I think) Julius Caesar. At another point, the girl says, “A dynasty that makes Alexander the Great look like Alexander the Okay.” Fuck you, Classical Antiquity. Fuck you, fans of teams. You’re all just the patriarchy. Or something.

Nike could easily sell the successful American women’s basketball team without denigrating other teams, genders and ancient Mediterranean empires that have nothing to do with this. Could but won’t. The company now conveys an almost visceral need for women to triumph over men because … well, nobody really explains why, even if it has something to do with Undecided Whaling. In Nike’s tentpole Olympics ad titled “Best Day Ever,” the narrator fantasizes about the future, declaring, “The WNBA will surpass the NBA in popularity!”

…

There are theories on the emergence of woke capital, with many having observed that, following Occupy Wall Street, media institutions ramped up on census category grievance. The thinking goes that, in response to the threat of a real economic revolution, the power players in our society pushed identity politics to undermine group solidarity. Well, that was a fiendishly brilliant plan, if anyone actually hatched it.

I’m not so convinced, though, as I’m more inclined to believe that a lot of history happens by happenstance. If we’re to specifically analyze the Nike Awokening, there is a recent top-down element of a mandate for Undecided Whaling, but that mandate was preceded by a socially conscious middle class campaign within the company.

This isn’t unique to Nike, either. Given my past life covering the team that tech moguls root for, I’ve run into such people. They aren’t, by and large, ideological. Very few are messianically devoted to seeing the world through the intersectionality lens. They are, however, terrified of their employees who feel this way. The mid-tier labor force, this cohort who actually internalized their university teachings, are full of fervor and willing to risk burned bridges in favor of causes they deem righteous. The big bosses just don’t want a headline-making walkout on their hands, so they placate and mollify, eventually bending the company’s voice into language of righteousness.

…

All the guilt and atonement transference make for bad art. And so the ads suck. There’s no Machiavellian conspiracy behind the production. It’s just a combination of desperately wanting female market share and desperately wanting to move on from the publicized sins of a masculine past. So, to message its ambitions, the exhausted corporation leans on the employees with the loudest answers.

There’s a lot of interplay between Nike and Wieden+Kennedy when the former asks the latter for a type of ad, but the through line from both sides is a lot of cooks in the kitchen. Based on conversations with people who’ve worked in both environments, there’s a dearth of personnel who are deeply connected to sports. In place of a grounding in a subculture, you’re getting ideas from folks who went to nice colleges and trendy ad schools, the type of people who throw words like “patriarchy” at the screen to celebrate a gold medal victory. The older leaders, uneasy in their station and thus obsessed with looking cutting edge, lean on the younger types because the youth are confident. Unfortunately, that confidence is rooted in an ability to regurgitate liturgy, rather than generative genius. They’ve a mandate to replace a marred past, which they leap at, but they’re incapable of inventing a better future.

…

Ironically, Nike mattered a lot more in the days when its position was less dominant. Back when it had to really fight for market share, it made bold, genre-altering art. The ads were synonymous with masculine victory, plus they were cheekily irreverent. And so the dudes loved them. Today, Nike is something else. It LARPs as a grandiose feminist nonprofit as it floats aimlessly on the vessel Michael Jordan built long ago. Like Jordan himself, Nike is rich forever off what it can replicate never. Unlike Jordan, it now wishes to be known for anything but its triumphs. Nike once told a story and that story resonated with its audience. Now it’s decided that its audience is the problem. It wouldn’t shock you to learn that Carlos hated the new Nike ads I texted to him. His exact words were, “I don’t want fucking activism from a sweatshop monopoly.” He’ll still buy the gear, though, just not the narrative. Nike remains, but the story about itself has run out. Au revoir.

#ethan strauss #nike #sports #substack

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ralexsol · 3 years

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On the Subject of Underverse S2

You read that correctly: this is a post about one of the greatest shows ever created, the Undertale animated series Underverse, written/animated by @jakei95. I have a lot of theories that I’ve been pulling together ever since I watched both Underverse and Xtale (the Underverse prequel series). Maybe one or two have no basis in anything, but for some reason they popped into my head and I’ll stick by them until they’re proven incorrect. I will discuss the possibility of a Geno/Ink fight, Fresh!Ink, XI (you’ll definitely want to read their section!), and the fates of many different characters. This is quite the long post, so buckle up for a long ride.

Let’s begin!

GENO/INK FIGHT:

I’m putting this theory first because it is the least important. At some point in time, I somehow got it into my head that there is supposedly going to be a fight between Geno and Ink. I have no idea where I heard about this, and when I searched for any specific videos or posts about the subject, I found nothing. But I personally think a fight scene between Geno and Ink would be pretty cool, so I’m adding this in here.

FRESK!INK’S EXISTANCE:

This is a more relevant theory. Ever since Jakei announced that Fresh!Ink would be a part of Underverse, I have wondered how he would be incorporated. I don’t know if she means for him to be in the future “Beach Episode” or something more serious. (Of course, I know almost nothing about this supposed “Beach Episode”, which is apparently when Epic!Sans will be showing up, so I really wouldn’t know.) But there is an important thing to remember: Ink and Fresh made a deal in the first season.

Ever since I saw this Underverse - Xtra Scene 2, I have wondered what this “prize” could possibly be. What was Ink’s side of the deal? What did he promise Fresh? Hmm... maybe a new body to take over?

Ink’s body doesn’t have a SOUL- that’s basic “Undertale AU Knowledge 101″. What does this have to do in regards to Fresh? To my best knowledge, the actual parasitic creature True!Fresh feeds off the souls of other creatures to survive. In fact, his soul-feeding would kill his victims if he stayed long enough in one body, but he likes to play it safe and leave his victims alive in case he needs to use their body again. But he wouldn’t need to do this with Ink. Because of Ink’s SOULless nature, Fresh could theoretically feed off his body forever. Some might object that since Ink doesn’t have a SOUL, Fresh wouldn’t be able to feed off him. But then how does Fresh!Ink exist?

So, what was their deal? Fresh watches over the Xtale AU while Ink is gone, and after Cross and X!Chara are taken care of, Ink comes back and lets Fresh take over his body for a little while. There may be something else I’m missing, but the pieces seem to make sense.

XI’S PURPOSE:

For those of you who don’t know who XI is, I suggest you watch this video about Jakei’s Overwrite merch. This is when the character of XI was introduced to us, back on good ol’ April 1st, 2019. Haha, yes, the joke character of XI- funny April Fool’s Day video, a good laugh for everyone. Jakei has made a few comics about XI since then, but overall, XI hasn’t been involved in Xtale or Underverse so far. That has never sat right with me, and I’ve always thought there would be something more to him. I was proven absolutely correct when Xtale - The Movie came out. But before we discuss the little extra scene tagged onto the end of that video, I would like to point out some very interesting facts about XI.

On October 6th, 2019, Jakei posted a traditional speedart. Obviously, the art is gorgeous like always and every time I watch it I wonder if I will ever get to the level of skill she is at. But besides that, there is a very important aspect about this video. In the speedart, Jakei drew two pictures: one of X!Chara and X!Frisk fighting, and one of XI. In XI’s picture, they are depicted in full armor with a magical purple sword & shield.

Hmmm... I wonder who this could possible resemble?

Every time XI is shown, whether it be in comics or artwork, their bangs hang over their eyes. Their armor looks exactly like Kris’s from Deltarune. Heck, they both use a sword and a shield! What does this mean? XI is X!Kris. There is no way to deny this. This is why they are X!Chara’s and X!Frisk’s little sibling. I would also like to point out XI’s silver oval locket. I find it interesting how he has a different piece of jewelry from everyone else- all other important characters in Xtale have a matching golden heart locket. Does XI also have people he has given copies of this necklace to? Perhaps X!Susie and X!Ralsei, if they exist? But XI being X!Kris is only the beginning of this theory. Remember how I mentioned Xtale - The Movie earlier? Take a look at this picture.

This is a five-second frame pegged at the very end of the video, after an entry written in wingdings by Mister XGaster himself. The message is as follows:

Entry Number Eleven: As clear as a reflection in a mirror, I have found the most perfect projection of forbidden visions. Get ready. Your time is coming.

Okay, just whoa. Not only is the entry #11, but the person standing there is XI. Oh, and let’s take a closer look at what they’re holding in their hand.

I knew that silver locket was going to be important. There is no way that XI is not going to play a major part in either Underverse S2 or hmm... maybe a spin-off about the Xtale versions of Deltarune characters? To my knowledge, Jakei has not said anything about her plans after she finishes Underverse. She has her Metadora project, and I am aware that her husband @nyxtheshield is planning out his own Undertale series- someone will need to animate that, and I’m sure she would be able and willing to do the job. She has stated that there will be no seasons of Underverse after S2, and the finale will be 1.0. But that doesn’t mean she won’t make a new series. If she does, will it be about all the Deltarune characters? Will the other Xtale characters show up at certain points in it? Will XGaster play a large part in it? There is no way to know, as the idea of a new show is simply drawn from that there may not be enough time in S2 to fully expand what XI is.

In any case, XGaster states in the entry that “your time is coming”. This could either reference a new show or XI’s appearance in Underverse. I find it extremely interesting how XGaster words his message. “The most perfect projection of forbidden visions.” What does that mean exactly? XGaster has seen something in one of his many visions, obviously. The most perfect image of prohibited sights. XI is a person that stands for something that should not be allowed to exist. That makes sense- XGaster, a man, somehow got pregnant and birthed them, as shown in the Overwrite merch video. The “forbidden visions” might imply that he has seen something quite “cursed”, as us modern Internet-users would say. But then he tells this projection to get ready, because their time is coming. XGaster is telling XI to prepare themself. This just proves that XI and XGaster are tied together very closely, and that if XI does get their own series with X!Ralsei and X!Susie, XGaster will be involved.

Whew! That’s a lot of information to take in all at once. This was the big “theory” I wanted to discuss, so now we will move on to the different fates I believe may befall some of our beloved characters.

INK, FOR GOOD OR FOR WORSE?:

Ah, Ink. One of the true protagonists of Underverse. Remember: a protagonist is not necessarily a hero, just one of the leading characters. It has been seen that his story arc is the most important throughout the entire story. He is the one that inspired XGaster. He is the one that made XGaster’s plan succeed. And he very well might be the one to make it fail.

Wait, you’re asking me. I thought he was on XGaster’s side? What do you mean he will make it fail?

I didn’t want to address whether Ink was going to stick with XGaster or flip until a certain song was posted by Nyx two days ago on December 5th, “Soulless Heart”. If you haven’t listened to it yet, go ahead and click that link because the song is beautiful and absolutely necessary to continue on with this theory! The song is the Underverse 0.5 Ending Theme, and guess who it’s about? You guessed it, our good old buddy chum pal Ink. I’ve been listening to it on repeat since it came out, and it really is incredible. (Nyx, if you’re somehow reading this, I would like to personally congratulate you, because not only is the music amazing but mwah! Your voice is a joy, and I would not have any other singer do the vocals.) But the most important thing about the song is the lyrics. Here’s the first verse.

How long have I been longing

to be free and not broken

in this ocean of hollowness?

I don’t want to be forgotten.

Instantly, the lyrics hit you hard. This is about Ink, though, so you can’t expect anything less. Essentially, the song is about the emptiness that Ink feels without a SOUL. This goes along with one of his main aspects in Underverse. The only reason why he worked with XGaster to make sure XGaster’s game worked was so he could feel more emotions. As a chaotic neutral character, Ink literally only cares about himself and his personal goals. But what is interesting about this song is that he addresses the pain he has caused.

Sacrificial lambs

laid upon my path

now are broken worlds

killed by senseless wrath.

Ink knows that he has hurt people. I mean, in the present timeline when 0.5 is to be set, Ink’s actions just caused Error to literally “pull the plug” and destroy all the AUs. (Although, how many AUs were actually destroyed is impossible to determine, because there are still multiple Sanses that will be incorporated into S2 that were residing in their AUs at the time of their supposed destruction.) Ink knows that this is his fault. And now that XGaster has won, Ink will be receiving all those emotions he wanted! In the S2 teaser, which was released on the original Underverse 0.5 release date (the episode was unfortunately delayed due to issues with Nyx’s distributor, RouteNote), shows something very important.

Look at those vials in his hand. Those aren’t just colored vials. Well, they are, but their colors are especially important. Look at their specific colors: orange, yellow, and amber. Previously, Ink’s vials have been seen as very straightforward: roy g biv, that sort of thing.

You have one or maybe two variations, although in this picture there seems to be about four different aqua vials. But there certainly isn’t an amber vial. This goes to show that XGaster followed through on his promise, and Ink has a lot more variations in his color-coded emotion vials. The obvious conclusion from this is that he can feel a lot more things than he thought was possible- including guilt. With his newfound feelings, he could realize that what he did wasn’t just wrong, it was horrible. He might start to blame himself for getting all the AUs destroyed, which in turn might result in a betrayal of XGaster. With his emotions, he would become a real good person. But ultimately, without XGaster’s Overwrite abilities, Ink’s new emotions will fade and he will return to be the same old Ink as before. He will no longer understand why he sacrificed his emotions, and the cycle will start anew. Ink will never be truly happy, because being happy will always mean the suffering of others.

Or, Ink will stick with XGaster. It would be the same fate, after all; if the heroes defeat XGaster, Ink will still lose those emotions. This, though, might leave him feeling bitter and even more willing to do anything to get what he wants, which could potentially lead to him becoming a real villain. Perhaps XGaster isn’t the final boss of Underverse. Maybe the one to start everything will be the one to finish everything.

XGASTER AND UT!GASTER:

This wouldn’t be a real theory post without discussing our favorite fanfiction writer, would it? And yes, XGaster is literally a fanfiction writer. He has symptoms of OCD concerning the world-building of his universe and he just loves to add as much angst as humanly (or monsterly) possible. It just so happens that he lives in his own created universe, so his creations have the pleasurable chance at getting revenge.

Now, there are obviously two ways that Underverse can go: XGaster succeeds, or XGaster fails. This doesn’t necessarily mean that this will be the ending of S2. As I mentioned above, perhaps XGaster will be defeated at the end of 0.9 and 1.0 will be about everyone trying to stop Ink from taking the Overwrite SOUL for his own, I don’t know. In any case, I don’t really have anything to discuss about XGaster specifically, but I am pretty sure I know what his last scene will be if he happens to lose.

It is shown in the Underverse S2 Prologue - Owners that XGaster and UT!Gaster spent a lot of time together in the Void between the events of Xtale and Underverse. Not only do they hold an entire conversation together in Owners, but in Underverse 0.1 when Sans is hit in the head with a ball, he has a vision of the two of them standing together.

In XGaster’s and UT!Gaster’s conversation in Owners, UT!Gaster tells XGaster that he will fail in his quest for perfection. XGaster brushes him off because he’s an egotistical prick, yadda yadda. But this conversation is important because I believe it will parallel the ending of XGaster’s quest. In the end, UT!Gaster will approach his old Void-buddy and tell him to just give up on his pointless venture. XGaster will turn to dust after saying something like, “I will never give up”, and then we have Ink going on a rampage. That’s pretty much all I have to say on them, but I thought it would be worth adding.

DREAM AND NIGHTMARE:

Lastly, we have the brothers. As with XGaster and UT!Gaster, I don’t have much to add with them. But I do believe they will both play a major role in S2. They will be the overseers of the battle to come. Out of all the characters in the Undertale fandom, they are the most omnipotent. They are the protectors of the Tree of Feelings, which is one of three trees to give the Multiverse life. In Underverse 0.4, when X!Chara accused Nightmare of “watching us all this time as if we were part of a show”, Nightmare responded by saying:

Of course, Nightmare mostly means himself, Error, and Ink. Dream is much more active in helping people be happy, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t on the same god-tier level as his brother. Dream could sit back and watch the world tick, but he chooses not to because that goes against his morals.

In other words, Dream and Nightmare will probably affect the outcome of Underverse more than any other characters. They’re both pissed about what Error did: all those people that Dream cared about were murdered, and Nightmare can no longer generate negative feelings from innocents. They both have invested interest in this Multiverse war now, and their powers will certainly come to the forefront.

I believe that at the end of the story, the Multiverse will essentially go back to the exact way it was before Xtale was invented. XGaster will be dead, the Xtale characters will be put back in their AU, the other AUs will be restored, and at the end of it all, Dream and Nightmare will be once again pitted against one another. We may even see an alliance between them during Underverse S2 to stop XGaster, but afterwards, they will reestablish their rivalry. Unless the Omega Timeline comes into play, which it very well might, I don’t see the two brothers reconciling.

CONCLUSION:

Thank you everyone who took the agonizingly long time to read this! I hope this shed some light on certain characters (especially XI) and encourages to make some of your own theories. Stay safe and good night!

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revchainsaw · 3 years

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Coneheads (1993)

Another Entry from 1993. I'm leaning towards the thought that 1993 was a booming year for moviegoers. Unlike my previous review (Demolition Man), Coneheads is a movie that I am not visiting for the first time. I have fugue like toddler memories of the unforgettable silhouettes of these characters but I also have much more vivid memories of seeing reruns of this film on Comedy Central throughout my school years. Of Course, I can not hear Soft Cell's Tainted Love without thinking about this film.

The Message

Coneheads is a Sci-Fi Comedy exploring the American immigrant experience of a family of illegal aliens, but these aliens are of the extraterrestrial variety. All joking aside, that is how the plot presents it's central conflict as the INS is hot on their trail. The Coneheads are a nuclear family of aliens from the planet Remulak. Dan Aykroyd plays the father Beldar, he is employed most comically as a Taxi Driver and also by his home planet as the Time Keeper, whose job it is to inform the invading force of the most opportune time to conquer the earth. Beldar's mate and lifelong companion is Prymaat, played by Jane Curtin. Together they have a daughter, born of Earth, named Connie.

The first act of the film tells of the Coneheads arrival and stranding on Earth and how they are treated as foreigners and second class citizens by the people of Earth. However, they are never assumed to be aliens, just kinda freaky looking. Much of the humor comes from no matter how strange and unappealing they act the Coneheads kindness, hard work, and diligent behavior earns them the admiration and love of their neighbors and coworkers everywhere they go. Eventually Prymaat becomes pregnant and they give birth to Connie.

After a time jump, Connie has entered her teenage years and the generation gap and the culture gap between the Coneheads and their rebellious daughter begins to manifest. The Coneheads are loving parents and Connie a loving daughter and it's just so heartwarming to see such a functional relationship played out as they navigate these difficulties.

Unfortunately, the INS director who had once been on the Coneheads case early in their years finds that the unresolved investigation into these aliens has left a dark mark on his record and could be used to foil his political aspirations. Due to this realization his ambition towards these goals turns his apathy about the case to a dogged pursuit that would put Wile E. Coyote to shame.

Eventually the Coneheads are brought back in touch with the Remulak people and Beldar is forced to choose between his devotion to his culture and his people, and the life he has built for his beloved family as a citizen of Earth. Through some trickery and a decision to spare the Earth, Beldar becomes the anonymous savior of the Earth and the Coneheads are granted U.S. Citizenship.

With our Invader Zim's and Solar Opposites on our plates, does the Coneheads hold up as a satisfactory offering to the Cult of Cult?

Let's get to the Benediction.

Best Gag: 10 fingers, 10 toes, 10 inch cone

The Coneheads is sort of a one trick pony when it comes to humor. No one particular gag sticks out more than any other as most of the comedy tends to be, a Conehead does a weird thing and then people react either shocked or strangely unfazed. However, one seen has both reactions and a ton of that weirdness in rapid fire succession and that would be the birth of Connie Conehead.

Best Effect: Narfle the Garthok

At the climax of the film Beldar is set in colosseum battle against a creature known as the Garthok. The effect is a simple stop motion beast, and it certainly looks corny by todays standards. Even next to an old Ray Harryhausen film the creature looks cartoony. I think that's more than forgivable considering Coneheads is basically a cartoon. I want to take a moment to give props to the makeup department, at no point do i feel like the Coneheads do not look like aliens, they completely sell the very mild alien features that set the Remulaks apart from Earthlings, but these effects are just that, mild. I'm a monster loving boy and I gotta get my monster love out. I love the Garthok, and I may have to admit I've watched Coneheads a few times just to see the Garthok.

Worst Aspect: Just a Dash of Implied Racism

Racism is just an aspect of our culture. There's no pretending that isn't the case, and for that reason for generations racial stereotypes and observations have made it into our films. That is not to say that observations about race being made are automatically racist, however, I think there are some jokes about how the Coneheads are treated in the film, or the things they do that only work if you are familiar enough with racist caricature that the gag makes sense. Unfortunately, these few moments do not go so far as to subvert the gag. For instance, in a film where a black character is implied to be in danger because the police show up, would be an example of a racial issue that is implied because the audience recognizes the implications of how race is a part of American culture, but an implication that the hallways of a building where aliens live in smells funny or that aliens behaving like freaks is accepted implies that the audience thinks that foreigners smell strange or behave in freaky ways, and does not do enough to subvert these stereotypes. Do I think this was intentional or malicious? NO. But it is important to talk about. The filmmakers swim in the same cultural water as I, and the implied biases that you must understand to get some of the jokes are the same biases that are implanted in me. It's just important to note.

Best Aspect: It's All Love Baby

There is a lot of love on display in Coneheads. Beldar and Prymaat are supportive to one another and to their daughter. There is conflict and misunderstandings in the plot, but it shows that a loving family is not measured by a lack of conflict but by how they deal with their issues. Connie is a loving daughter. The friends and neighbors of the Coneheads are also incredibly kind and supportive of the young alien family. Ronnie, played by the ever endearing Chris Farley is so enamored with Connie that he openly accepts all of the weirdness and well intentioned abuse he suffers as a human trying to find an in to a Remulak family with open arms. It's a shame that so much humor in todays film comes from characters being awful to one another. It's refreshing to turn back the clock and enjoy a comedy that runs on such a warm hearted engine.

Most WTF Guy: Dan Aykroyd is a fucking Weirdo

Between Ghostbusters, Nothing But Trouble, and Coneheads I'm coming to realize just how freaking weird Dan Aykroyd is and I love it. This guys mind must be like an Adult Swim bump marathon.

Ambiguous Aspect: An American Tale

The humor of Coneheads is a fish out of water tale, and as such relies heavily on the cultural context of the American Dream and it's relevance for immigrants. In a way Coneheads can be seen as in dialogue with movies like An American Tale, Scarface, and many others. I was born in America, as a military brat, and I have lived in other countries but always on American military bases and where my status as an American was more of a benefit than a hindrance in my day to day interactions with citizens of whatever country I was living in. I have no personal context for these struggles or how the humor of Coneheads is in anyway relevant.

From where I'm sitting I really enjoy how the themes of the film explore the exploitation of immigrants. How Beldar has a genius level IQ and an absurd work ethic yet he is payed in peanuts and happily overproduces for his bosses. I appreciate the exploration of the cultural gap between immigrant parents and their bicultural children. I'd like to think, because I quite enjoy Coneheads, that this movie is sensitive and is presenting these issues in a sympathetic light instead of just using prejudices of "wacky foreigners" as fodder for cheap jokes, but I'm not really sure I'm the position to determine that.

At the very least it's something to chew on. If any of you in the congregation have read any articles pertaining to the subject of how the immigrant experience was portrayed in Coneheads please shoot me a link. I'm sure it would be illuminating to read. Perhaps I am over thinking things and maybe the film makers did not wish to have the movie picked apart, however, immigration is currently and has always been a sensitive and complex category of interrelated issues in our country and if Dan Aykroyd and the other writers did not want to dig into the subject maybe they should have steered clear of the topic in the script.

Summary

Coneheads will not likely be the funniest film you'll ever see. It's certainly a product of it's time and I'm not sure that even then it was for everyone. This is a heartfelt family story but it is also what happens when an SNL skit by a very strange and very high Dan Aykroyd is successful enough to receive a Hollywood budget and a feature length claim to your time. It's by no means amazing, but it is easy viewing. Good luck getting Soft Cell out of your head this week.

Overall Grade: C

#C #Grade: C #Grade C #Comedy #Science Fiction #Scifi #coneheads #alien #Aykroyd #Dan Aykroyd #aliens #SNL #Saturday Night Live #(C)

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

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Dobson’s favorite cartoon reviewed: The adventures of spandex girl in New York aka the Miraculous Ladybug movie

So THIS is not going to be about a Dobson comic, but rather with the lack of Dobson posting shit out here, I thought I give my opinion about something Dobson would have likely sperged out within the last few months. What could it be I want to talk about? The riots? The death of RBG? Cuties?

Are you insane? My brain may function better than Dobson’s, but even so I am not touching those subjects with a tong, seeing how I myself am lacking detailed knowledge on such subjects. No. I am talking about the cartoon that makes Dobson’s little brain (and dick) all tingly: Miraculous Ladybug.

For starters, let me just say that despite being an animation fan myself, I am not really into this show at all. For a magical girl show that goes on for over three seasons at this point, I just feel like nothing happens in it. Sure, A LOT of tokusatsu and magical girl shows run on repetitive monster of the week formulas, but overall they will still have some progression to themselves. Growing up with Sailor Moon, I always loved the first season and how it actually made me feel like things are increasingly at stake as the story progressed. Especially in the final episodes when the Senshis actually died protecting Sailor Moon and it was only thanks to a Deus ex machina everyone was reincarnated again. As melodramatic as Sailor Moon could be, at least each story arc had a beginning and ending that did not overstay its welcome. Ladybug meanwhile can be summed up as followed:

Teenage girl is thirsty for obvious blond boy whose dad wants to get magic jewelry to necromance his comatose wife. Teenage girl gets magic jewelry and turns into heroine in ladybug mustered spandex suit that makes rule34 artists all tingly. Same goes for boy she has the hots for, only he becomes gimp catsuit shota bait. Bad guy transforms random citizens who feel down for some reason (often times connected to a blond whose family name Dobson can’t write) into action figure like super villains. Ladybug and Cat Noir defeat them, the damage is reseted, Ladybug and Cat Noir never figure out who the other one is despite things being so obvious Ray Charles could have seen that shit coming. Repeat not just for one, but ALL seasons so far and add as little as possible storywise to increase the roaster of characters, but not progress the plot.

All that said, I can say that there are worse shows out there and for a show meant to sell toys to girls and be about a female hero, it is not THAT bad. But a) the creator is an asshole (think of functional Dobson) and b) there are still better shows to watch, even within the preteen magical girl genre, than this. Not to forget that this thing may be the indirect successor of Totally Spies and give certain people internet related fetishes within the next few years.

So, why am I believing Dobson would talk about the show at least for today more than he already tends to do on average? Because Ladybug actually got now a movie.

Well, it is called a movie, but in reality it is more of a 3 parter to start the fourth season if you really look into it. The thing is called Miraculous World: New York – United HeroeZ. It clocks in around 65 minutes and focuses on Marinette and Adrien in New York, teaming up with new heroes that are so unsubtlety promoted in this movie, I expect them to get their own spin off series by the end of next year so the showmakers can milk the cow even drier.

Let me try to elaborate in what is going to be a less than just a bit snarky summary with a few critical points and jokes at Dobson’s expense thrown in here. In other words, the typical biased youtube reaction channel/movie review. Spoiler warnings are obvious and I promise than unlike certain pedos on youtube I am not going to focus on the assets of underaged French girls. I do warn however for increased levels of making a fool of myself by writing a multi page “mock summary” of this thing.

So because the movie is based on a children show, it has a very basic set up; Adrien and Marinette’s class is invited to spend one week in New York, because of a pointless international collaboration thing referred to as French-American Friendship week. The sheer existence of this showing that a) we needed any reason to get them there and b) this special was worked on LONG before COVID19 hit us all. And yes, I know animation takes its time to be done, I just think it is funny how in today’s international political climate and health situation this thing has become outdated already, when it is hitting the tv just now.

At the same time, Adrien’s dad suspects that an artifact currently shown at a museum in New York may be a missing Miraculous that was owned by the Marquis de La Fayette and gifted to George Washington during the American Revolution. And yes, we are going there and you can guess what Hawkmoth’s goal this time is, while at the same time history gets fucked up the butt.

But before we can get to any action in New York, we have to deal with the one thing Ladybug is known for best: Cringy shipping bait.

Look, I know that shipping is a part of magical girl shows in general, but the shit going on in this cartoon is not only drawn out tediously even for children tv standards, I find it makes some characters outright dumb and unlikable. We get it Marinette, Adrien makes you tingle. But can you stop cringing your way through life around him in a manner that would make Tomoko Kuroki say that you are freaking pathetic?

I don’t want anybody else. when I think about Adrien I...

Just three minutes into this movie she essentially melts away at a poster of Adrien and throughout the first 15 minutes she just simps away in the big blue yonder. For example by asking Adrien’s dad to allow his son to travel with the others to New York, obviously stumbling upon her words when she needs to remind herself that she can only see Adrien now as a friend and not love interest (because this is supposedly set after season 3, when she decided to go for the second price in form of the guy who plays guitar), insisting that she is only “friends” to the point even her best friend Alya gets fed up. Or when Marinette gets more than just “a bit” nervous at the chance of sitting on her flight to New York next to Adrien, resulting in her fucking that chance up so badly, I felt an headache approaching.

Not gonna lie, I had to pause a few times because it got so cringy for me, I wondered why Dobson makes primarily jokes on Adrien’s expense when Marinette herself is female thirst personified. Even the movie seems to point out how the two are so obvious to each other, when Alya has the following to say about them: I can’t decide if they are the most cutest people I know, or the most embarrassing.

Thankfully it is at 18 minutes into it, we FINALLY get something of a conflict. While still on the plane (And Adrien and Marinette watching a sunset through a window) a villain shows up, trying to steal the jet engine midflight.

Just roll with it

Thankfully, before the plane can go down thanks to a Gremlin on the wing- I mean TECHNO PIRATE, the real stars of the movie show up.

Wait, you thought this thing was going to be about Ladybug and Cat Noir being the primary heroes? WRONG!

Okay, to put the summary on hold and explain what I mean: This “movie” introduces us to “United HeroeZ”, a group of American superheroes. Yeah, turns out Miraculous is essentially set in your average “Superheroes are everywhere, but primarily US dominated territory” world and this story is meant to introduce us to them and have Ladybug and Cat Noir team up in order to save the day. And while I don’t necessarily HATE the characters, I have to admit that I can’t help myself but snark quite a bit about them. Not only are they for the most part just expies of well known superheroes, the way how prominent two of them in particular are featured in this movie makes it very, VERY obvious that (As I stated earlier) this thing aims just to create a tie-in show for the creators to make more money of the property. Not just that, but their presence in a way reduces Adrien and Marinette’s importance as characters, even though the new ones at best would count as supportive characters overall. Which again makes me wonder, what does it say about Ladybug and Cat Noir’s “impact” in their own franchise when I actually find myself more interested in the side characters made to promote new toys, than the actual leads?

Anyway, United HeroeZ defeats Techno Pirate and in doing so we are introduced to the main members of the group which are relevant for this movie:

So please, give an applause for…. MAJESTIA (aka actually decent Powergirl redesign/Non Superman)

SPARROW (Aka yet another Robin that may get hit by a crowbar)

UNCANNEY VALLEY (aka The Shipper on Deck/Cleopatra in Tin Foil/Vision as your Waifu/the dumbest name you could have chosen for a character!)

NIGHT OWL (aka Alan Moore is going to be pissed!/Oh look, it’s Batman!)

You get where I am coming from when I call them expies, right?

Anyway, with the plane safe the class finally gets to New York. Both Sparrow and Uncanney Valley get tasked to go undercover with the students and assure they are save during the trip, because plot reasons and New York is supposedly enough of a safe place that their services aren’t needed to fight bigger threats currently. Which confirms at the very least that a) this is not the Marvel Universe cause at this point the town may be ground zero yet again and b) a way more enjoyable version of the Big Apple than the real deal.

By the way, these are Uncanney (left) and Sparrow’s (right) civilian identities :

I can now imagine Dobson wanting to proclaim how problematic the character is for being a native American who looks the way she does. But believe me. It gets kinda worse in all the right ways.

Also, we are 28 minutes into the movie and we are introduced to the dumbest thing in the movie yet. The arch enemy of the Condiment King; Hot Dog Dan.

A superhero hot dog vendor seller with a flying hot dog truck, whose hot dogs give you temporarily some random superpowers when you eat them. And it seems he uses hot dog tongs as weapons.

I don’t know what the people making this show take, but I am torn between wanting some of that myself and putting them into rehab.

I really bring the character just up because he is as a concept in itself so ridiculous that part of me thinks he is a fever dream of Dobson. Otherwise he has no real bearing on what is going to happen on the rest of the movie. He is just relevant for a three minute long scene of a house roof party during which Adrien and Marinette dance for a bit.

Speaking of relevance, the next day the class finally gets to do something on the trip that leads into conflict for our heroes to face. During a visit of the museum where the La Fayette related Miraculous is hold, Uncanny and Sparrow decide to play shipper on deck by forcing Marinette and Adrien in a room and attempting to set a really stupid plot into motion (and no, I don’t mean they enforce a reenactment of Steven Universe or something). At the same time the villains finally do something, when Hawkmoth (now in New York) turns Techno Pirate into his latest minion and have him attack the museum to steal a saber by La Fayette as distraction, while he takes the charm he is out for. Long story short: Our heroes FINALLY transform and have to fight with Uncanney and Sparrow against Techno Pirate on the roofs of Manhattan.

And while I don’t think it is all that great of a fight, it still means something aside of Marinette cringing her way through the plot is happening and the heroes are actually in decent peril. Plus during the fight the movie gives me one of the funniest moments possible. You want to know what it is?

Well, while fighting the bad guy, Cat Noir and Ladybug obviously trigger their miraculouses. And what does Ladybugs miraculous turn into this time, to help her develop a strategy to defeat the villain and save the day?

A bikepump.

... yeah, I am going to give all of you now 5 minutes to laugh it off. Believe me, I needed them too.

Sure, it is a cartoon and I doubt anyone working on the show is even aware of our favorite uncare bear, but come on. At this point the universe itself is either mocking Dobson or tries to set up the perfect opportunity for an obvious joke from my side.

Not helped by the fact that once the bike pump shows up, the dialogue between characters that follows is, and I quote:

Cat: A bicycle pump? What are you going to do with that?

Ladybug: I may have an idea, but you wouldn’t like it

Anyway, believe it or not, the fight actually ends with a surprising shock moment. Cat Noir, while having his cataclysm powers active (you know, the powers that make him decompose anything he touches), being thrown by Techno Pirate at Ladybug, resulting in Uncanney protecting her and being turned into scrap metal. Which in turn causes Techno Pirate to make the acquaintance with Majestia’s fist, as Uncanney is more or less her adopted daughter and I guess she has seen what was going on (but did not interfere because the plot says so) until now, pummeling him so hard he flies through a few buildings and causes at least three 9/11 to happen on this day in New York.

So, yeah. Uncanney is dead. The heroes experiencing their darkest hour in the movie.

… welp, can’t have that for long, so less than 2 minutes later Ladybug uses the Magical bikepump…

5 minutes of laughter later

Got it out of the system? Good. As I was saying; She uses the fetish toy to reset all the damage done by the akumatized villain and in doing so fixes Uncanney too.

Welp, that was a waste of tension. Guess someone watched the entire Lars dying thing from Steven Universe.

So, damage undone, but Majestia and Night Owl pretty pissed at what happened, want Ladybug and Cat Noir to give up their miraculouses (I assume that is the correct plural) until they leave New York. You would expect this to result in some dramatic chase scene or confrontation with the older heroes, but because this movie has just like 22 minutes left and we need to close act two now, our heroes instead flee and end up in the sewers of New York.

There they do NOT team up with a group of mutated reptiles, but have a heart to heart talk (I never thought I would agree with Dobson on something, but I have to agree on this: The show is kinda fixated on having important stuff happening in sewer channels) that is sort of an argument Cat Noir and Ladybug also had during the fight. You see, because those two idiots haven’t figured out their respective civilian identities yet (something even Sailor Moon would have figured out AFTER THREE SEASONS!) Marinette assumed that Cat Noir would be in Paris while she is in New York to keep the city save. And Adrien/Noir was okay with making the promise of keeping the city initially save, because his dad only allowed him on the trip the day after he made the promise. So when the two transform out of sight of the other in New York and meet, instead of asking some logical questions (like “where is Marinette/Adrien and why is Cat/Ladybug here?”) they kinda argue wtf Cat is doing here while Paris may be in danger.

Long story short, she is angry at him, he feels guilty for having disappointed her and the thing with turning Uncanney into scrap, Paris was attacked by Hawkmoth’s secretary unleashing temporarily some monster clone because Hawkmoth thought that distracts the heroes in Paris (and really just results in damage that makes a city that experienced the destruction of Notre Dame the year prior just feel numb) and because this is the turning point in the plot, our hero needs to do something just a bit too melodramatic. Which is that Adrien gives up his powers and runs away.

… so, up to the final part in which things to care about start to happen.

Hawkmoth now has the Miraculous and unleashes its Kwami who is this eagle themed little thing referring to itself as the “Kwami of Freedom”.

… Yeah, this thing was NOT around for the last 200 years, wasn’t it?

Anyway, it states that its powers are based on “freeing” people of limitations to achieve their full potential. What does that mean practically? It means that when Techno Pirate holds its powers on top of his regular powers increased by being akumatized, he can unleash some energy attack that removes moral inhibitions when getting hit by it.

… So it basically unleashes the Purge.

Which is exactly what happens to Majestia and Night Owl, turning one into Man of Steel Superman causing nine additional 9/11s on top of the three prior (how the fuck did this movie manage to turn an American tragedy in a measuring unit?) and the other into All Star Batman.

Oh and it turns the President of the USA into a worse war monger than people accuse Trump of being.

Oh, this is NOT going to sit well with anyone...

… Yeah, sidenote: The president of the USA in this movie is essentially Michelle Obama who ALSO is a superhero with an American flag theme and besties with Majestica and Night Owl, trying to protect the exchange students. Because supposedly NOTHING better needs to be done. Once she gets hit by the “Freedom Feathers” or whatever you want to call the Kwami power, she pulls out the Football and activates turrets all over the USA, ready to blow up anything that moves into smithereens. Including at least 10.000 such turrets on the roofs of New York and a nuclear missile in the bay near the Statue of Liberty.

I’ll take it to the people with the eagle not the dove. If there is one thing that obedience is symptomatic of, it’s W-E-A-P-O-N-R-Y... WEAPONRY, from above!

(BTW, the rocket is animated like shit!)

I get the feeling someone on the production team is not the biggest fan of America.

Anyway, with the heroes being useless and Marinette and Adrien mopping around for what happened during the battle (and Adrien being tricked by his dad to leave New York and get back on a plane cause this town is not save and Adrien can’t fucking stand up to his emotionally abusive father), Uncanney and Sparrow have to get the ball rolling so the day can be saved. Which means that Sparrow and Ladybug try to fight and distract people for time (off screen mostly), while Uncanney hijacks Adrien’s plane and brings him back to take up the gimp suit of Cat Noir again. Oh yeah, almost forgot, Uncanney, cause she is a robot, has figured out easily who Ladybug and Adrien really are cause scanning. Making our heroes literally dumber than a walking toaster.

So the four finally together, fight Techno Pirate on the Statue of Liberty a second time (after some hijinx with another corrupted hero whose power is literally to create portals through doors, but he is irrelevant for anything so I skipped him up until now) and defeat him. He loses the Miraculous, Sparrow takes it on and becomes its next official owner, resulting in her costume turning into THIS

So now we have the native American girl turn into an eagle based superhero with a costume that looks like out of a western based Lego set.

Real talk here: Unlike Dobson I do not believe that everything is political or offensive or some other shit. In fact I hate his comic where he talks about “skin color changes” of the black characters in Ladybug, because he essentially tries to create a race issue and tension where there is none, just because he is a social justice moron. Which gets especially funny when his ideas for a progressive female results in characters like the black rat pirat who kicks you in the face for being hetero or infantilizing the characters of Patty to make them visually more appealing to Max Karson.

That said, in this day and age, doing a character like that… kinda yaiks.

Like, on one hand I think the girl has an enjoyable personality and the design of her hero outfit is okay for a kids cartoon. It’s not like she also talks in some cartoonishly native way or has suddenly a tomahawk as a weapon.

On the other hand, it is kinda stereotypical from multiple ankles and unfortunately there is nothing to the character past this point. Oh sure, Sparrow has now Miraculous powers, but really, all she does now is just use her powers to nullify Techno Pirates influence on the adult heroes before Majestia manages to reenact the bad ending for Majora’s mask and that is it.

Granted, there is Hawkmoth also almost starting World War 3, but that is really just happening at the site and dealt with almost instantly. To be more specific, because Ladybug and Cat Noir did not hand over their Miraculous, he lets Techno Pirate launch one of the missiles near the Statue of Liberty (worse president than Trump, honestly) but before the thing can hit anything, Majestia sweeps it away and throws it into the sun.

You know, if the show writers want to make Adrien’s dad even remotely “sympathetic” or interesting/intelligent, they increasingly fail. Cause I don’t know about you, but causing World War 3 does not really feel like it will benefit in bringing your comatose wife back.

Bottom line: Nuke has been burned, Techno Pirate gets defeated, all the damage reseted, Sparrow is now the official owner of the latest Miraculous and renames herself Eagle, everyone is happy, there is a big celebration for the class and Hawkmoth is convinced there might be other missing Miraculous all over the globe he wants to get his hands on, meaning season 4 may have more globe trotting Miraculous “action” once it starts.

And also the last scene of the movie shows Eagle and Uncanney meeting some other guardian of the Miraculous box who wants the Eagle charm, but she seemingly convinces him to team up, solidifying that this one hour “movie” was really just a backdoor pilot for a tie in series about an American centered heroine that is so big, a freaking monster truck could pass through this backdoor.

Yeah, if you can’t tell, I am not a big fan of what I saw.

Look, I will openly admit that my opinion on this is in large parts already tainted by me not being part of the demographic which enjoys the show. So this was never going to be considered “good” in my opinion. That said, I tried to be neutral to it for the sake of fairness. And I kinda failed.

Sorry, but I genuinely do not think this is a good “movie”. First, with barely 65 minutes I don’t really consider it a movie and more of a tv special meant to lead into the next season of the show. Second, I expect of a movie based on a tv show to have slightly higher stakes and presentation value to it than what you would expect from any average episode it has to offer. Which this thing doesn’t. Oh sure, the animation is slightly improved in some scenes, but overall just the same. And frankly, the writing is just still as “bad” as in the original show, if in parts not even worse. Aside of the typical stables, such as the cringy romance that does not move forward but is kinda on the forefront, the main heroes stumbling more or less into the situations instead of being more active in their duties, Hawkmoth not even in a movie having a genuine plan aside of “get this, see how it will help me defeat two kids and fail”, the movie also just never manages to induce a proper escalation of conflict to make it feel like something “special”. For example, we have a shitton of temporarily corrupted heroes. Do Ladybug and Cat Noir ever properly face them off at one point or have meaningful/fun interactions with Sparrow and Uncanney or each other outside of the first three minutes of the movie? Nope! I can name a few movies based on animated shows that gave me enjoyment, even those following basic shonen anime rules. But this one isn’t really among them. And taking into account that I consider at least the Steven Universe movie enjoyable in a dumb way, that says something.

There is also just the fact that it takes away from Ladybug and Cat Noir too much. Sure, I don’t like the romance stuff with them because I think it plays out in some of the cringiest way possible. But I would have been okay with them or other already established sidecharacters doing other stuff and having to face some conflict that is centered more around them.

Instead the movie finds this bizarre disbalance where it focuses too much and yet too little on completely new characters, that feel shoehorned in to create a starting point for a spin off, making Cat Noir and Ladybug secondary characters in their own movie.

I mean sure, I have seen many shonen anime based movies where there is a set of “movie only” characters interacting with our heroes, but they don’t take too much away from the heroes being heroes. Say what you want about the 13th movie of any long running shonen anime, at least Luffy, Naruto, Son Goku etc. are still the central characters of their respective franchise affiliated flic. Here however we take too much away from Ladybug and Cat, while at the same time focusing also too much on their “struggle” as Marinette and Adrien (or rather just Marinette making a fool out of herself while Adrien is utterly obvious to her behavior) while the major heroics are reserved for the movie characters only, that this entire thing should just be renamed “The Adventures of Mummy Robot and Not Robin, also starring two underaged kids that Dobson is obsessed about!”

All that said, I will give it a few things.

1) Uncanney and Sparrow/Eagle, despite my jabs, are kinda enjoyable in terms of personality. So are their partners/parents (Majestica and Night Owl are actually the (adoptive?) mothers of their sidekicks and also a couple openly caling themselves love, so yay, L(GBT) representation) and if the show would ever decide to focus also a few episodes on other characters aside of Ladybug and Cat Noir, I wouldn’t mind to see them. I just don’t think they are the most original characters out there and I think I may speak for some fans of the show when I say it sucks, that when it comes to the “action” within this “action adventure show”, they take up the spotlight from the actual main characters.

2) The fight scenes against Techno Pirate were okay overall. Nothing mind blowing animation wise but okay for the standards of this franchise.

3) Eagle’s costume design is not the worst despite my jabs at it being “stereotypical”, at least under consideration of cartoon designs (again, I can think of more offensive shit from the 90s or the Dobbear himself)

4) Well, it wasn’t for me, but I can say it was at least still on the same level of quality as the show. Make out of that comment however whatever you want.

My verdict: Three out of five Dobson’s would approve this movie. The other two would rant about stereotypes and be too busy incest shipping Majestia with Uncanney based on one shot of the movie. And none of them would acknowledge the flaws that make the “movie” a badly disguised jumping point for a spin off that makes the Equestria Girls look subtle.

Hope you got some enjoyment out of this rant that ironically may have been overall more retarted and detailed than anything Dobson may ever say in regard of this movie.

#miraculous ladybug #movie #marinette dupen chang #andrew dobson #so you are a cartoonist #syac #movie sperging #animated movie #sucks #mock #review #adrien x marinette

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Jingle Belle: A Very Special Jingle Belle Special or A goofy holiday comic and a long tired rant about the animation industry

Ho ho ho and merry Christmas as we reach the final stretch of Christmas reviews and it’s all Christmas all the time for the rest of the week for obvious reasons. So we’re starting off by wrapping up Jingle Belle for the season with one more comission. While it’s from my usual client, It’s via patreon as for 5 bucks a month you can get a review a month of your choice. But since that hasn’t taken hold just yet, and won’t till next month, he asked to swap it for this month and here we are. Not much to cover though this is the very comic where Jing hopped publishers from Oni Press to Dark Horse. The whys I genuinely do not know and at the time, I just know it’s weird to talk about Dark Horse these days. Their not dead nor entirely irrelvant, Resident Alien, which I really want to check out as it has a really engaging premise, is getting a tv show that I also want to check out as while i’m not sure if it’ll be good, it’s still Alan Tudyk playing an alien who can barely pass for human and it hilariously shows. Whenever that streams i’m not missing a second of that and we all know it. And Umbrella Academy, started during bigger days for the company, is one of netflix’s hottest shows and one of many shows on my to do list I haven’t gotten to because I procastinate like no one else and as taking an entire month to get to the newest loud house shows to the point another one popped up, it bites me in the ass a lot. Point is their not GONE in relevance.. but at the same time they’ve lost the huge tide of liscences they road in on. Except for the Joss Whedon stuff, Marvel’s pretty much taken EVERYTHING from them via various deals: Star Wars, Conan and now Alien. Their still standing and makes good art books and clearly given Resident Alien good content, they’ve lasted this long their not going anywhere, it’s just really weird to think about. I will however give them huge credit for giving out tons of comics in early quarantine, and being easily the most generous company next to marvel. I.e. one of the few that actually gave out full collections.

But yeah at the time this was probably a safe move as Dark Horse had a love of one shots and likely a larger budget. Hence why from here on out the stories are in living color, and have a slightly diffrent art style to boot. Granted the character would shift artists but now it’s got a clear more cartoony art style I like a lot better courtsey of Jose Garabaldi. So yeah with christmas on our heels, let’s ring a ding jing, it’s A Very Special Jingle Belle Special.

We won’t be covering the backup for this one though it is quite good, it’s just not what kev asked or paid for.

We open on a parade!

While batman foils the joker’s poisioning scheme, Santa rides on a float proudly and Jing is hanging out on the back grumpy. It’s a great introduction for new readers showing Santa being big and jolly and what you expect while Jing grumps in the back with a “Sheesh, Daddy”. That’s how you establish a character well in only a few panels. IT’s really great is what i’m saying. Some teens pop up but don’t belivie her about being Santa’s daughter and when going to a christmas shop to try and find figures of her, the owner claims he dosen’t.. and well violence insues. You’ve met jing right? Anyways Jing is understandably a wee bit absolutely livid the world dosen’t know about her. Her parents sure but her? Nope. And it’s easy to see why: She’s the daughter of the world’s most famous man.. but despite all the holiday lore and junk she’s just the part he likes to hide from people.. or that’s how it feels. While he ducks it, she even gives him a nice save fatty it’s clear that even if she brought it up to rile him a bit.. she does feel on some level like he likes to tuck her away and hide her because he’s ashamed and because she’s not perfect. Granted she does act out and stuff, but she’s still his kid and i’ts still gotta sting. Though she has the perfect idea to fix this: A christmas special. Santa suggests just doing good deeds but Jing is right: her idea is better. Mostly because, as cyncial as this is.. more people are going to pay attention to a good holiday special than a celebrity’s kid doing charity and for far longer. A good christmas special just sticks in the brain and sticks with you forever. It’s why Santa Claus is Coming to Town and A Charlie Brown Christmas have lasted decades or why my list of best chirstmas specials is pretty weighty. They just stick with you so while this can’t possibly end well.. her plan is actually a really good one this time.

So Jing takes her friends off the line to help her animate it, stop motion styles and they remind her of her LAST christmas special.

I mean I’m a sucker for any refrence to Star Wars Holiday Special. You’d think after several decades of jokes at it’s expense, with tons of youtubers, many of whom are dead to me but that’s besides the point, tackling the thing without it getting stale, that we’d eventually grow tired of mocking it but .. no. It’s a bottomless well of what they were thinking. The only question left is why isn’t it on Disney Plus.. I mean.. you made a second one as an affectionate parody and in lego. Kids are going to know about this now. Just put the thing up. Even edited down or just some clips. You put Rise of Skywalker up there, you’ve proven your threshold for shame when it comes to this franchise is vast. Just person up and do it. But Jing’s learned her lesson.. stop motion only and to follow the bouncing formula to sucess. So in the special which sadly isn’t all stop motion and is just drawn to resemble the specials, probably for the best but still, Jing and her animal pals are sneaking into a town where christmas was banned! Meeting the chirstmas legion of doom.. well okay that’s what i’m calling them. Burgermeister Budweiser! Bungle the Abominable Snow Monster! Frost Master and Heat BLister! The Frost Fakir.. wait the what?

........

I mean where do I even begin? I know this was during the war on terror, I know that.. but still I expect better from Paul Dini for a crosses the line twice joke than “hey let’s just make bin laden into an ice wizard!”. I mean South Park made fun of him too, but they went all out with a looney tunes homage. Put effort in. And even years after he died the lonely island did this beautiful thing in the film pop star: never stop stoppin, which you should watch seriously watch it it’s underated.

youtube

Point is you can do better and if you don’t have room to do better then just.. don’t. You could’ve put in a t-rex in a top hat and monocle. That would’ve genuinely been better... because it’s better than everything ever btu that’s besides the point. There’s also one last addition to the rogue’s gallery thank god.

He hates her too. Now that gag is actually reallyf ucking funny. What’s also funny is how she solves things. By singing a nice and frinedly song about friendship to reform the villians.. or rather lure them over a bridge to get eaten by her orca friend.

So Jing after showing it to her dad heads to market it with him trying to warn her netoworks haven’t aired this kind of thing in years. But she faces the greatest threat to all of television: network executives, who keep offering advices and basically change the thing all together for stupid reasons and think cartoons should only be for kids despite it wokring in the past. Aka the hells animators STILL go through. I think Paul was projecting just a wee bit with this one. Given again IT HASN’T CHANGED since then, I can’t blame him. Seriously Harvey Beaks was canceled, among MANY ohter nick shows including rise of the tmnt just because it wasn’t an instant hit, Cartoon Network and warner keep trying to make dumbed down remakes of great shows, and Disney, among other networks, is fairly homophobic and while finally allowing some gay on the network this year had to be fought and outright refused it on ducktales for no adquate reason, caring more about monney and the bible belt than doing the right thing. So yeah as you can tell this bit got to me a bit and was hard to read because it. hasn’t. changed. 16 years and not a lot has changed other than more women are getting a chance. And granted the “kids are our only audiencce argument” isn’t as strong and several shows are powered by other demographics it’s still an issue and still the reason several good shows have gotten the boot and why the jeph loeb era of marvel animation was terrible. Because guys like him thought it should JUST be for kids and the lowest common demoninator of htem. You can be clever and be for kids dammit.

I apologize slightly for that it’s just something that’s been on my mind as shows dwindle and with ducktales gone the standard forbearaers for children’s animation are all pretty fresh faced. It’s just a lot to take in and i’ts been on my mind a lot.

Back to the actual story the result is a pretty purtrid cutesy special.. Jing reacts how you’d expect, destroying the tapes covertly with a herd of musk ox and destroying the tape. But they find the 70′s special and we end on that which is pretty funny. The only thing I really don’t like here is the ending. The rest of this special is really good: it’s clever , has some good satire and some really funny jokes especially that hook one. The ending just feels a bit weak.. like yes Jing wanted to be noticed but it’s not really an unsympathetic motive and while she does some shady stuff the villians still basically win by airing her terrible holiday special all over again. It’s just not satisfying. But yeah overall another pretty decent holiday comic with some good jokes. I”ll probably see Jing again next year, and it was fun getting to dip into these comics. THeir not my faviorites, but their still pretty decent and if the complete collection ends up on sale on comixology or you see it in a bookstore and you think it’d be up your ally i’d buy it. Again not my faviorite thing ever, but still enjoyable enough. Coming up this week of holiday cheer: ducks, more ducks, superheroes, and a best of list.

Until next time: Courage.

#animation #comics #reviews #jingle belle #paul dini #christmas #santa claus #dark horse comics

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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February 29th-March 6th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from February 29th, 2020 to March 6th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What is the thing you’re proudest about regarding your story?

Deo101 [Millennium]

I hope saying "That I'm actually doing it, and that I'm still doing it and loving every minute of it" Is an okay answer ^^ there is a lot that I am very proud of myself for with regards to this comic, but I think I take the most pride in actually sticking with something for this long.

carcarchu

I agree with deo, sticking with it is what i'm most proud of and it's probably one of the hardest things to do

Capitania do Azar

Hah I can't say I'm proud of everything, right?

It's hard to put it in words but I really enjoy the comic making process and I'm proud of what I'm accomplishing with it, both in terms of writing and of art. And I think it's rather visible that I put a ton of effort into it

Spring-heeled Jack

I am proud that I prepped ahead of time because the last two times I tried, I didn't. Both times I got about 10 pages in and quit because I felt overwhelmed. With the story itself, I think I'm proud of my characters. Characters are the easiest part for me (plot and central conflict I always flounder on) but I'm still so pleased with them.(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

For me, it's just getting the work out there. Actually finishing chapters. compared to the first comic story I want to put out, this story I know for sure where its going and gives me a sense of ease? There's some days when I feel i'm slumping along but in the end, I'm pretty happy how it turned out. Pretty much what Deo and carcarchu said lol: my story is long but not super long, but I'm glad I'm still working on it among my other stories I want to share (edited)

Ash🦀

For me, what I'm most proud of is my artist, Katie. We're a collaborative team, I'm just the writer so I don't do much. And she takes my words and just... adds so much life to them. Seeing every page she makes is so amazing. Every time she's growing in her style in leaps and bounds, and seeing her push her lighting, expressions, and unusual panel styles, ugh, it's just so cool seeing her grow. I am so proud of her and what she's done, she's a total rockstar and I love her. I couldn't have done this without her, and every day I'm more grateful to her.

DanitheCarutor

That is a really good question, I don't really show pride in stuff I do usually. I guess the closest to being proud was either when my new comic passed the stopping mark for my old comic, which was discontinued at chapter 3, or when I got chapter 1 rescanned for print recently. The latter was kinda challenging because I rebubbled the whole chapter, and how I rebubbled was a little... awkward, pasting over the old bubbles in photoshop afterward.

Sorry! Apparently the image file was weird.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I actually semi-recently wrote a raving tweet thread relevant to this topic. Basically, for years and years, I did not know what it meant to be proud of your work. I've been happy with my work, both the process and the result. But was "proud of my work" completely synonymous with "happy with my work"? I legit did not know. Even asked a former English teacher friend, who's very good at explaining this sorta things, and I still didn't get it. Then as I made progress through the most recent chapter, I noticed this brand new, strange feeling welling up in me. Yep, you guessed it. For the first time ever after starting this comic, I was proud of what I was making. Not just happy with it, but proud of it. Took me a while to realize, oh, this is proud. Afterward, something happened IRL that temporarily borked my sense of time (one specific week felt like months). So because it felt like it had been months since I made it, I got to experience the last couple pages of the chapter as a reader, not its creator. And I gotta say, thank you past me, you've made something truly heartfelt, and you had every reason to be proud of this. In short: I'm proud of how my comic is an honest reflection of what my heart wants to see, what I want to read. And I'm proud of my most recent chapter being the pinnacle of that. I hope to make more, higher pinnacles down the road, as I continue my way through this story.

spacerocketbunny

I'm proud of how me and @FeatherNotes(Krispy) have shaped our characters and fleshed them out! I'm also super proud of our team dynamic and how if something didn't feel right in the story or art etc., we've always challenged it and come up with something better and stronger! Because we've been so thorough and willing to reconsider, I'm always perfectly comfortable to stand by what we've put out there, even if we've had to go back and fix past mistakes!

Mei

Hoh boy, the thing I'm proudest about in My Husband is a Cultist is the audience interaction. I've been told the comic is funny, and that makes me immensely chuffed, because it means I'm doing something right. I'm always so nervous when putting my work out there with how it's going to be received. That seeing people engage with the story and find it funny and liking the characters... it just warms my heart so much, and it makes me truly feel like I'm on the right path. I'm also pretty proud of the stuff I've written that's not been featured in the comic yet. I look forward to developing those and making them come to life, and I hope people enjoy the grittier parts of this strange comedy as much as I do! And mostly I'm proud that I'm still doing it and haven't given up yet. My lord, I just don't know how it's gonna keep going! but hopefully just onwards and upwards!

eli [a winged tale]

Reading through all of these and I’m so touched. Super proud of you all!

I’m most proud in finally chasing my dreams. Life threw me a bunch of curveballs and creating this comic is a reflection of how I dealt with things and at the same time be thankful for what I have. When I reread my comic I can see mistakes but I also see parts of myself that are genuine. I can’t wait to continue on the story and let the comic be part of my life moving forwards

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

My comic went on so long behind the scenes before I was comfortable enough to share it, so I tend to think of my past self quite differently than my current self. So, I'm very proud of 'past me!' She started the project completely unaware of how long it would last or what it would become - just a few characters and story threads and a whoooole lot of ambition - and my present self has had the pleasure of weaving those threads into a project I'm truly proud of. The comic has brought me so much joy - much of it delayed, like a ticking time bomb - and it's all thanks to my younger self. She wasn't sure of what she was doing - but now I know she made some excellent decisions in the beginning. I'm very grateful she started all of this. It's made my life all the more joyful

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I got a BUFFER. My first non-fancomic died because of work-comittments and lack of buffer, but on Nyx+Nyssa I manage to work ahead. More than anything I am proud of the discipline I developed to allow for that.

FeatheryJustice

I'm proud of almost completing Teasday. I had some long hiatuses but I will finish the story for now. Also proud of where I grown from the beginning of that story to now. The time and effort shows that I did do a lot, which makes me really happy to know.

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I'm proud of a lot of the work that goes into my comic, but what I'm most proud of was this page. I wanted this to be grand and a pivotal moment if what the comic was about. I don't think even a couple years I could've done anything at this scale, but I split the areas into chunks that I completed over the span of two weeks. Always look upon this page fondly.

eli [a winged tale]

That is gorgeous!

Spring-heeled Jack

Impressive!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I can point out four moments in Super Galaxy Knights http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/comics/ that I'm the most proud of - 1. The end of Book 1 Chapter 4. Chapter 4 was intended to be a big "growing the beard" moment for the comic's action setpieces - the first three chapters were more about introducing characters and plot elements than actual action, so I consider chapter 4 to be the first "real" fight of the comic. The way the action was presented in chapter 4 would go on to represent how action would be presented throughout the rest of the comic, and IMO I pulled it off fantastically. 2. The end of Book 1. Kinda self-explanatory, but Book 1 was the first major story arc of the comic - the fact that I managed to pull together a satisfying conclusion, something that I theoretically could have ended the comic on, was super satisfying to me. 3. This page: http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/images/comics/160/30997a1543363807f2141157006.gif . When I wrote in my Book 2 script "they fight for a bit in a big looping animation" back in 2016 I was hoping my animation skills would advance to the point where I could pull it off. And it turns out, they did. 4. Well... today. Ever since starting the comic back on leap day 2016, I knew today would be a big milestone, and I'm proud of myself for sticking with this project long enough to get to this four year mark.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oh my god, that looks incredible and I've never seen a page like that before!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I am not very far into my comic, but when I try to think about what I am most proud of in my work, it is definitely all the behind-the-scenes work I have put into the comic. The world-building. The map-making, language developing, culture exploring, building a political structure, writing histories, character work, etc. All this time and energy I devoted to something that wouldn't be seen by others for many years to come. It is only now starting to come to fruition, despite technically having been working on this project since 2014, with the first scripts, the first character designs, and the first paragraphs about the world of Whispers of the Past. All this work that nobody will ever see. I am proud of sticking with it and putting my heart and soul into it despite the lack of return for so long. I have given up my adolescence to this project, and I am giving up the rest of my youth. But when I think about it, there is no worthier recipient. Because without this story, I feel like a large part of my identity would be gone.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Thank you @Eightfish (Puppeteer) ! The storyboarding alone for that animation took a week so I'm glad you like it!

eli [a winged tale]

I totally get you Cronaj! So much goes behind the scenes but that creates the world’s depths and it will resonate with readers! continues dedicating the rest of my life to comics

SL Black

@Cronaj (Whispers of the Past) yes! There is so much prep work involved. I have three full scripts for UO that will never see the light of day (mostly because they are terrible). Comics are such a marathon. All that hard work will be appreciated so much by your readers!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@SL Black Man... That sounds like me. I myself went through at least 3 scripts too. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way about the BTS work

Desnik

I'm proud that I'm putting myself out there with a WIP comic script and learning how to not only write, but collaborate with other writers.

renieplayerone

Im really proud that i started a comic and have stuck with it for a year and just how much ive learned by making it^^

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm proud that even after 70 pages I've never missed a scheduled update!(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Awe yeee thats always good to have a streak like that!

eli [a winged tale]

That is #goals!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Agreed!

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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webscene-remade · 5 years

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gigantic homestuck liveblog post

hello. I hope to god that tumblr’s readmore function works across platforms because otherwise this may just be the worst thing I ever inflicted on anyone’s dashboard in the history of this hellsite

warnings for my pure, unadulterated opinions (including relentless character-hate for characters that I personally do not like), spoilers for literally everything, reading the epilogues in the most asinine order possible, and the same content warnings that were given at the beginning of the epilogues themselves

general thoughts: i liked some of it, didnt like some of it. the parts that i didn't like would have been more bearable if they literally weren’t painful to read. i’m of the opinion that, while things dont have to be daisies and roses all the time, i don’t want to have a completely horrible reading experience when things aren’t daises and roses.

other complaints: part of homestuck’s appeal is its amazing cast of girls, and they were severely under-utilized. also, i had to see gamzee again.

but, like i said. i liked some of it. a lot of it, in fact. i did think it kept with the spirit of homestuck in that it made me feel every single human emotion possible.

I had a lot of Feelings while reading, and if I went into all of them here, I might as well write out some meta to flesh out the 2.5 concrete thoughts I had while reading, but I’m not going to do that. instead, i’m going to dump my several-thousand-words of live reactions here so that no one has the patience to parse out what the hell i’m talking about. because I just spent a total of 21 hours reading this and I am so incredibly braindead.

MEAT 1

Okay I’m clicking on ‘meat’ first. I’m so scared LMAO I’m not ready for this.

Gross. This is already very upsetting.

MEAT 2

Lmao WHAT

FUCK. Dave this is NOT ALLOWED.

Homestuck is very very good actually

Alright I’m going to have to stop screenshotting every single thing I find funny or else I am never going to get through this

I Love You Dave Strider

This is so fucking weird to say and I have no idea what the psychology is behind it but reading homestuck always makes me weirdly ambitious…like reading about dave doing shit like making comics and motivating karkat to run for president makes ME want to do shit.

also the biggest mystery in homestuck is that people like jake English

MEAT 3

The fridge pops open and out roll Aranea and Gamzee. Gamzee honks and his codpiece jiggles ominously. Aranea staggers to her feet, looking rather pleased with herself.

Fucking gross.

JOHN PUNCHED ARANEA

Waaaaay back in the day “aranea gets punched in the face” was on my homestuck bingo card, back when we all thought the comic was gonna end after the gigapause or whatever it was called

Also is this going to be in fic form the whole time because if so I’m going to have a hell of a time concentrating long enough to finish this in one go

You wisely decide that this clown will lend nothing valuable to the narrative whatsoever if he is allowed to remain outside of your childhood refrigerator. You put both hands on his chest and shove him into the fridge where he belongs. He goes easily, issuing only a pair of weak honks in protest. You slam the fridge shut and resolve to never think about Gamzee Makara again.

Bye bitch

I know you’re going to be back soon but still

(also I skimmed the first few pages of the candy epilogue and it looks like gamzee might have some relevance in that one too. Homophobic if true.)

MEAT 4

Oh jesus fuck I just remembered caliborn’s stop-motion Claymation thing where all the kids die. And now john’s gathering them all up. This is going to fucking SUCK isn’t it

MEAT 5

Lmao

Jake can’t help but watch the motion, raking his eyes over the muscles shifting beneath the skin of Dirk’s neck and arms.

Calm your fucking boner dude

Also dirk is ripped apparently

With a casual flick of his wrist, Dirk snaps out a bright red tranquilizer handgun and shoots Jake in the neck. Jake’s glasses crack when he hits the mat.

What the fuck

MEAT 6

You wonder. Do you see these teen versions of your friends as “real”? Are you treating them, at Rose’s behest, as simple puppets? Doing your part to insist they fill friend-shaped recesses in an essential plan to stabilize all else that can be considered important, a distinction no longer applying to them? Do you care at all about whatever fate it may be that you are sentencing these children to? Are you becoming as complicit in the fatalistic evils of Paradox Space as Lord English himself? Are you becoming a monster, John Egbert?

MEAT 7

I Love You Rose Lalonde

Also, same old Dirk, huh?

Dirk & rose conversations are some of the best but. Dirk. Dirk. He reminds me so much of myself and I constantly want to shove him into a locker.

MEAT 8

I hate how much I love caliborn. Also I am Very Afraid.

MEAT 9

The blurry, distorted face of your laughing nemesis was the last thing you saw before the chest door slammed shut and plunged you into textual obsolescence.

And here, you are now stuck. You will not emerge from this holding cell, from an outside perspective, for quadrillions of years. It is not long at all until you begin to wish you had brought something to read.

Jesus Christ

Well. At least it’s quadrillions of years “from an outside perspective.” Hopefully it won’t be THAT long for them. Maybe like, an hour?

Also john you broke your glasses. How are you supposed to read.

MEAT 10

No, surely this must have been Dave’s idea. The kind of plot hatched from their little nest of mutually supportive, codependent, interspecies... whatever it was they had going on over there.

Jane is straight-up EVIL, I guess

This what capitalism does to you, folks

Also, karkat (true leftism)

MEAT 11

This is exactly what I expected when I realized john would be overseeing a group of teens

Would you tell them about Terezi...

For some reason her name feels like nails in your heart. Makes sense, you guess, cause there’s a lot of sharp letters in it. She had sharp teeth too, and sharp elbows. Sharp words. Terezi Pyrope was a sharp girl, and maybe what these sharp feelings are trying to tell you is you miss her more than you realized.

Do NOT talk about terezi in the past tense you fucking GOON

Also if I don’t see terezi again I will fucking riot

Me like 2 years ago

MEAT 12

Asfdhkajlfh

Jade you are NOT subtle

This is oppression

Dave and karkat HAVE KISSED MULTIPLE TIMES. I will not be convinced otherwise

Jade “didn’t think Obama was a real person” Harley

Also Dave “doesn’t think Jesus was a real person” Strider

Speaking of. Where is homestuck-is-a-sin nowadays

Jade will you please chill

but also. Marry me. dave and karkat are clearly not comfy with this, but I would be very comfy with it.

MEAT 13

> Be Vriska.

Oh fuck yes

Well, that didn’t last long. Bye, vriska!

Oh fuck

God this is all so intense. I feel like I should’ve read candy first

MEAT 14

Really, the only surprise is how long it took to happen. Jane is a beautiful lady, that’s for sure. She always has been, but she’s only grown more ravishing as she’s come into the full blossom of her womanhood. Smooth, silky skin... thick, dark lashes... full, feminine lips... not to mention curves like the dickens.

This is so hard to read lmao

Jake can’t stop thinking about dirk….ouch

MEAT 15

Roooooooooose

ROSE ):

Fuck jade too

This is going pretty much as well as could be expected

Just two bros…fighting lord English…everyone dying around them…

DAVEPETA

…v…vore

Great minds

Dave ): ): ):

There was no way that wasn’t going to happen but I am. Extremely upset.

The black hole—the gaping, implacable, cosmic embodiment of the dead cherub, his long-departed sister—finally welcomes Lord English home.

Yo I’m

It’s bananas that this webcomic still manages to have a monopoly over my emotions after all these years

MEAT 16

Oh fuck

Loving the aspect talk though

Rose’s eyes have grown distant, almost mirrorlike. Dirk can see himself reflected in her vacant stare.

Oh jesus oh Christ

Oh no

FUCK OFFFF

MEAT 17

All I’m thinking about is the narration about jake watching dirk’s rippling muscles

Dirk: I heard that Dirk has an 8-pack

MEAT 18

It’s been 3 hours and I’m only on meat 18

I need a fucking drink

MEAT 19

Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam.

Why is homestuck so funny

I LOVE YOU ROXY LALONDE

Fucking same

MEAT 20

What is Happening

Will these motherfuckers Please Stop trying to remove the objects that are impaled in their chest

CALLIOPE????

I am actually astounded by the amount of things I retained from homestuck even though I haven’t quite understood what’s going on for like 6 years

MEAT 21

I missed her so much

I hate this stupid fucking webcomic

Please god kick his ass kanaya

MEAT 22

Fucking owned

MEAT 23

Kanaya PLEASE kick this fools ass

MEAT 24

TEREZI

I’M GOING TO GO APE SHIT

SHE LITERALLY HASN’T SAID ANYTHING YET AND I’M LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND

I’M GOING TO VOMIT

MEAT 25

…hmmmm

I’m actually almost tempted to do this?

Like I know it would make way more sense to finish reading meat first…BUT…

I’m gonna do it lmao

CANDY 1

At each fork in the veins, he supposes the leaf as a whole is making a certain kind of “decision,” to go this way or that. It certainly seems like one way of looking at a leaf, now that he bothers to really scrutinize one. It also seems to him, with just as great a sense of clarity, that not one of this leaf’s decisions ever mattered even the tiniest fucking bit to anybody.

Alright! Great start!

Hm! I don’t like this at all!!!!

Fuck gamzee lives

CANDY 2

Sensing that this is probably something he shouldn’t be seeing, he tiptoes towards Gamzee’s would-be sarcophagus as carefully and quietly as he can, and places his hands just above the thick aluminum hull. The moment John’s palms hit the fridge, Dirk turns to look at him. His head only moves an inch.

………what the fuck

OKAY SO…JOHN’S JUST GONNA…DROP GAMZEE ON EARTH C…THIS IS FINE

Oh what the FUCK is going on

I forgot how fucking headache-inducing gamzee’s quirk is

Literally this is almost impossible for me to read for some reason

She pats him on the back, nods very slowly, issues an “mm-hm” now and then. Only while he is distracted by his own sobs does she steal a glance at her phone, tipping the fact that she too wouldn’t mind if this redemptive soliloquy could hurry itself along.

I pretty much sound like a broken record at this point but. What the actual fuck.

Gamzee stans be like

John: *sends a picture of gamzee to terezi*

Me: Gamzee Is Not Allowed to Exist In The Same Narrative Space As Terezi

“HE”….

I just realized that the narrative isn’t in second person any more

I mean…I’m assuming we’re outside of ‘canon’. Like this isn’t the ‘essential’ timeline anymore, so things are…fucking wacky, to say the least

But even in the other timelines, shit isn’t this wack

And john seems to be aware of what’s going on

So like. What’s happening.

CANDY 3

At least dirk’s bitch ass is also sweating over all this

CANDY 4

Rose opens her eyes. She stares at the knob of her wrist and frowns. She’s not sure why this sensation should be concerning. It’s not like her memory is slipping away. She remembers the conversation she had with John this morning quite clearly. As she does the previous years of declining health, and troubled, obsessive thoughts about canon, dissipation, and other such abstractions. What’s slipping away instead is the feeling that any of it mattered at all.

I have. Very mixed feelings.

Like OBVIOUSLY I don’t want rose to continue to suffer existential dread but this feels like post-retcon all over again. Which is to say, everything feels off.

But. Post-retcon was, like, canon. And post-retcon (post-game over, really) is where I kinda stopped caring about homestuck as much as I had before

And perhaps that’s just me not “getting it” but. Oh well.

Fucking OUCH dawg

Rose and kanaya…damn son…….

They were my first f/f ship ever. Can you believe that? Can you believe homestuck?

CANDY 5

She retrieves one of her bras from where it’s hanging over the back of the couch. She starts changing it right there, doing that mystical sleight of hand girls seem to be born with the knowledge of, where the bra goes off and then on again without the shirt being removed.

Very unrelatable

Now THIS is relatable

Jade CHILL

I’ve always liked the idea of jadedavekat but this shit is not fun

Karkat fucking bit her afdhlfasdkfh what the fuck

Picsthatmakeyougohmm

CANDY 6

Yall are gonna think I’m evil for saying this but how on earth are there people out there who like Jake English

Okay I took a break to eat something after 5 straight hours of reading

I bet there’s people out there who have read this shit 3 times over but I take so GODDAMN LONG to read anything

And to think. I’m an English major.

Anyway back to it I fucking guess

That’s depression, babe!

I’m heterophobic now

Do I REALLY have to read another Jake-Jane makeout sesh. Do I really.

It turns out that I don’t. thank god.

But that was all still incredibly uncomfortable

CANDY 7

In the time that I was eating I managed to forget that gamzee existed. And now I am reminded. How unfortunate.

I do not often find myself agreeing with John and only John but. Here we are.

Also I am Not Down For johnroxy. Especially with how wack everything is.

Roxy DO NOT leave john alone with this literal clown

Oh fucking Christ

HELLO?? IS THIS ALLOWED???

CANDY 8

The,, hornographer,,,

There’s a third member of their social group who definitely hasn’t arrived at the conclusion that his power and influence should be meted out responsibly either. Neither of them speak his name, however. For some reason, it feels like a shadow passing over the sun. A brief spike of pain flickers through Rose’s head, a bolt that strikes between her eyes and splinters out. There is color and light behind it. A vision that tears through the material reality in front of her and gives her a brief glimpse into a parallel reality where things are very different.

Hm! Not great!

Yes, it would be very awkward

Also, don’t even fuckin g MENTION vriska unless I get to see her

Don’t think I haven’t noticed that this epilogue has been hellishly vriskaless

Like youre gonna make me see GAMZEE MAKARA?? GAMZEE??? WHERE’S VRISKA??

CANDY 9

Jade. Jade. Jade. Fucking CHILL, jade.

CANDY 10

Get you a girl who lesbian marries one of the two remaining eligible human females

Eyes emoji

He whips his head around to see... Dave? He’s running down the street, looking back and forth like a hunted man.

Dave: *is flirted with*

Dave: *books it to an entirely different time zone*

I Love You Dave Strider

Why on EARTH are you going to john Egbert for relationship advice, though

CANDY 11

Daaaaaaave ):

CANDY 12

This is the fucking worst

I hate this so much

CANDY 13

It’s obviously a robot, but it’s a complete mess. The form is feminine, but the head is still bald, and the face has no cover, revealing its skull-like interior. The body doesn’t have any proper protective plating yet, so it’s all a mess of wires and loose mechanical bits. Clearly a work in progress. But Dave can’t help but wonder what exactly it is that Dirk’s been working on here?

Then Dave notices the note. It’s carefully folded in the limp palm of the robot’s hand. His heart jumps into his throat, and something in his stomach drops.

Oh, no.

what the fuck is this fucking robot

Also did dirk fucking kill himself

CANDY 14

We’re back in the 2nd person now for dirk’s shit

What could you accomplish in a dead-end existence like this? There are no stakes. No meaningful challenges. No structures or themes—only residual chemical reactions in a dying brain, a physical system’s obligate compulsion to exhaust its own lingering momentum.

Literally me every time I realize that life isn’t a story and I’m not a character with a heroic arc

And like I get that homestuck has been thematically interested in...well…life not being a story. And I have a feeling that these epilogues are going to cement that, with all the talk of meta/canon. And I can already tell that I’m going to be disappointed with the lack of narrative resolution

Because like…life’s not a story, okay……………but homestuck is

Anyway this fucker is really about to kill himself isn’t he

Yep…jesus.

CANDY 15

Wow this feels INCREDIBLY shitty considering. That’s exactly what happened.

I am not Feeling Great my dudes

Dave’s got his suit jacket unbuttoned and pulled over Karkat’s head to shield him from the rain. Karkat’s the one talking—his caterpillar eyebrows furrowed, but his gaze soft. Whatever he’s saying makes Dave turn his face away, but Karkat winds a hand in his shirt and tugs him in, forces him to make eye contact. They both go still, seeming to finally realize how close their faces have gotten, how Karkat’s fingers are brushing down the length of Dave’s torso. Dave dips down so that their noses are bumping.

I will NOT be distracted by this cute shit

(I am distracted by this cute shit)

Thinking about how roxy said they don’t want to have kids in meat and I’m! Not feeling great about this!

Also I hate that I have to call it ‘meat’

(also the narrator refers to roxy as ‘she’ in candy and so like. Idk which one I’m supposed to use)

CANDY 16

6 month time jump. Very relieved that I don’t have to see the johnroxy wedding

Fucking. Skullface emoji.

Asdasfasljk John don’t dump on your sister like that

Straight fucking savage though I’ll give you that

John and terezi are talking about vriska I’m going to fucking vomit

This is all I’m going to get, huh? Huh????

I’m so starved

Vrisrezi is literally the most compelling part of homestuck and it’s like. So not going to be relevant at all in the epilogue, is it

CANDY 17

Did rose and kanaya literally name their kid ‘vriska’

Like they did not have to do that

John is the only one who hasn’t lost his goddamn mind

Also the idea of someone just changing their kids name a year after they were born is. Hilarious. It’s extra hilarious when you remember that the kids didn’t get a name until they were 13.

John SNAPPED

“please come make sense at me”...This is……..A Lot

CANDY 18

Jane is still dedicated to eugenics which is like. Pretty fucking awful.

You know it’s bad when GAMZEE MAKARA argues with you about morality

Fucking GROSS

Also jake is sitting right next to them akbfdabkjknsfn

Welp! Homestuck’s over, everyone!!!! The furries won!

CANDY 19

I have been reading this goddamn webcomic for 8 goddamn hours

I’m pretty sure that I’m not even halfway through

HIS RELATIONSHIP IS A FLAMING WRECK OF AN INTERSTELLAR WARSHIP HURTLING TOWARDS THE PLANET AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WITH THE ENTIRE CREW BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED UPON REENTRY, SHOVED STRAIGHT DOWN THE CHAGRIN TUNNEL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHAT OUT THE OTHER SIDE, THUS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN IT CLOGS UP THE LOAD GAPER.

This is what this epilogue has been missing…karkat-isms

Yo WHAT

I probably definitely should’ve read meat all the way through but. Oh well!

I never thought that I would be glad to see a dead teenage jade fall out of the fucking sky but at least its providing a brief reprieve to feeling of absolute dread I’ve had while reading the entire candy section

Also strange that dead teenage space jade is the one thing that DOESN’T fill me with absolute dread

CANDY 20

Karkat SNAPPED

CANDY 21

I somehow managed to forget that calliope exists

Funeral TWO

As fucking rough as dirk’s suicide was, I absolutely cannot imagine him in any of these situations

Like the only narrative choices were to kill him or to lock him away in his lab w/o a single mention of him and I gotta say the former makes more sense given his characterization

I am. Upset.

ARADIA

Aradia please save me from this nightmare

Asdfghjlkjhgf

I changed my mind I love candy

Never mind jane’s talking about eugenics again

I’m laughing???? What the fuck is happening?????

Okay alt calliope is using dead teen space jade’s body as a vessel

Should’ve put two and two together since I got close to that part in meat but I have been reading for like 9 hours and things are starting to blur together

*heavy metal music plays*

CANDY 22

3 year time jump! Alright!

Fucking same, john

Okay so the dead trolls that got consumed by the black hole are showing up on earth c, or something?

WAIT DOES THAT MEAN LORD ENGLISH IS GONNA GET PLOPPED INTO THIS TIMELINE

idk if I’m misunderstanding but……..i am……nervous

Those are my 20-something-year-old children

Cant believe karkat rose and kanaya are in antifa :’)

Actually I can absolutely believe that

I hate this

I was 100% unprepared to see Eridan fucking Ampora in the year of our lord 2019. I’m calling the fucking police

This is the worst

Oh I Do Not Like This

CANDY 23

John was serious about the whole kidnapping thing huh

Christ almighty

SILENCE, CLOWN.

Jokes aside the child abuse is like. Very vey upsetting.

But why has this human child adopted the ‘uh,,’s of Tavros’ quirk

I think I’ve said this before but homestuck is very good, actually

Hm this shit with kid tavros is making me sick to my stomach

Also I’m approaching hour 10 and I may have to take a break for sleep soon.

But. I defo have shit to do this weekend that doesn’t involve reading homestuck

We’ll see how much longer I can stay awake, I guess

Dave said this about dirk (jake also said this about dirk, in meat) and I’m. not psyched about it.

I suppose it’s possible that gamzee retained it from dirks funeral, but still

John has his breath powers back?? Passively, at least?

And where the fuck did alt calliope go

And aradia and sollux

Unfortunately I still think it is kidnapping

Especially because you’re like, 5

It’s probably, like, a bad thing that I was rooting for john’s kidnapping plan to work. But.

CANDY 24

Okay theres alt calliope aradia and sollux

I am. Compromised.

Oh fuck

It’s actually kind of insane that dirk and jane are like. Straight villains. I kinda would’ve guessed w/ jane (relation to the condesce and all that) but dirk being a villain shocked the fuck out of me. it really shouldn’t have, though, considering that dirk was capable of becoming bro.

): ): ): ):

I’m actually tearing up LMAO

I can’t tell if it’s because of how much I love terezi or if it’s because I’ve been reading this for 10 hours straight

Probably both

CANDY 25

Karkat I love you

Also this is buried deep enough in this post so I think it’s safe to say w/o anyone actually reading it: when I was 14 and reading homestuck for the first time I had a crush on karkat and used to daydream about us going on a date at the county fair

I’m sorry to anyone that had to read that with their own eyeballs

Hard labor in the cake mills

Bucket jokes are dead, folks. You heard it here first.

Oh Christ I just remembered that group of cosplayers who took a bucket into a restaurant and passed it around and spit in it. Scandal of the fucking decade.

Asdfghjk KANAYA

This is only going to make things more complicated, I imagine

KARKAT: I’M ALSO FUCKING ORDERING YOU TO STOP MAKING GARBAGE FISH PUNS FOREVER.

LMAO

Okay…on that slightly…lighter note, I think it’s time to turn in for the night. I’m at the 11th hour (literally) and I’m losing my ability to pay attention to what the fuck is going on

Plus my head hurts like a motherfucker

If I remember correctly, each epilogue has 45 parts, so I’m a bit more than halfway done

I’m setting an alarm because I’m dedicated to finishing this tomorrow

CANDY 26

Okay I got my hat on backwards and I’m ready to fucking party

Even Alternia had beauty in it. But John is sure that Earth C probably replicates it the same way it replicates everything else: thin and garish and fake, fake, fakity FAKE. A bad photocopy with the ink settings turned to high contrast. A sunrise that casts no shadows.

This is not a party

Also I’m getting flashbacks to my thesis that I wrote on the left hand of darkness which never shut the fuck up about shadows and the lack thereof

A streak of teal, smudged along the top ridge of the seat cushion, at the center of a red, bloody handprint. With wide eyes, John reaches out and runs his thumb over it. It chips under his nail, the same consistency as human blood. The same color as Terezi’s text.

He rubs the flaky crust between his fingers. He only stopped talking to her a few hours ago. Time passes differently out there, as he’s often reminded. She was so sure she was dying. Was this it? Was this how she —

John reels back, nausea striking him in the pit of his stomach. What kind of twisted coincidence is this? Why is he finding this now? If Terezi was here, why? Who was she bleeding with in the back of his father’s car?

I’m guessing john was bleeding with terezi in the back of his father’s car?

I mean when I left off with meat terezi had just shown up to find john impaled in the chest with one of LE’s teeth

But I’m like. SUPER not psyched to learn what happened to terezi

A choked sob forces its way out of his chest. His fingers flex into claws, gathering up dirt into his shaking fists. He bears down until his knuckles turn white and his fingernails press sharply into the flesh of his palms. The pain makes him feel real.

All he’s ever wanted is to be fucking real.

Maybe it’s because this is the first thing I’m reading this morning but I absolutely cannot take this seriously

CANDY 27

Ten year time skip. Jesus.

So everyones in their late 30s, now

I’m love them?

Also things are super not great on earth c, huh

Like imagine being jane crocker & playing a game where all your friends die a bunch & then showing up to an idyllic planet and being like ‘you know what this world needs more of? Fascism and eugenics.’

Also didn’t jane’s dad make it onto earth c??? where is THAT motherfucker??

I’m glad that sollux and aradia are still like. Chillin.

Karkat sure does know how to sweet-talk people

Also karkat still misses dave ):

And dave still misses karkat ):

This is so fucking rough

CANDY 28

VRISKA???

Yeah this is the vriska that got punted by LE after releasing the juju

She is taking things as well as I would imagine vriska to take things

CANDY 29

These chapters are getting shorter. Maybe I’ll actually finish this today

…lord English?

CANDY 30

Okay, so jane’s dad was on earth c, and now he’s dead

Jesus Christ

I shouldn’t be laughing but adjsgklfgfs

Leave it to karkat to try to assassinate someone with a fucking rocket launcher

Also leave it to dad to jump in front of a FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER

I cant believe gamzee fucking Makara is still here. I was hoping that had all been a nightmare

Yikes! Yikes! Yikes! Yikes!

Asdfghjkjhgfdsdfghjkjhgfdsdfghjkljhgfrvghkhgf

I-

I don’t know how I didn’t see this coming

BEGONE, CLOWN

CANDY 31

I missed their interactions

John is so fucking funny sometimes

I’m laughimg so fucking hard

Also I’m going to keep calling her vriska and calling rose and kanaya’s child ‘kid vriska.’ Otherwise I will get incredibly confused between this vriska and actual (vriska)

Vriska I love you

Also I like how john straight up hates kid vriska

God she’s so intolerable. I love her.

Also vriska and dirk are so similar but I love vriska and can’t stand dirk

am I a misandrist

(I know it’s probably their differences; vriska is dedicated to being a hero and not a author/villain(?) and still, like, values people, even if it is in her own fucked up way. Also she’s like a billion times more critical of herself than dirk is)

oh god theyre talking about terezi

yeah that didn’t go anywhere I wanted it to

CANDY 32

fukcing. Gamzee.

Please god vriska beat this clowns ass

“brutal Double Axe Handle” “European-style Uppercut” “knife chop” “Discus Back Elbow”

Am I supposed to know what any of this means

I like how john is just watching this happen

Gamzee grabs (Vriska)’s foot by the bridge. Instead of yanking her off-balance, he opens his huge, bloody maw of a mouth and... runs his tongue along the rubber bottom of her shoe? (Vriska) freezes. She watches him lap the mud—and his own blood—out from between the grooves of the sole. His lips drag lewdly over the ridge of her footwear and begin sucking at where her big toe would be, if it were not safely ensconced in several layers of rubber and canvas.

Fucking GROSS

I hate this clown so goddamn much

This is the absolute Worst Outcome

Like I cannot imagine a more upsetting scenario than gamzee and vriska making out in canon

Dirk’s suicide would be a fucking palate cleanser at this point

That was a bad joke to make but that’s what homestuck does to you I fucking guess

CANDY 33

*I* don’t even remember the three pillars of canon

And I read that shit literally yesterday

I, unfortunately, have no idea what this means

Well. At least rose is happy. For the first time in the entirety of homestuck.

CANDY 34

“immoderately lit”

I’m going to say that all the time now. Thanks.

Vriska’s huge, mischievous smile freezes on her face. When her eyes pass the image to her brain, and it finally makes sense of this incomprehensible jumble of gray limbs, blue and purple slop, tangled black hair, and stunned faces, her expression begins to slowly melt. It then drifts quickly, from phase to phase, to one of wonder, then anguish, and finally, abject horror.

This is so fucking unfortunate

CANDY 35

At least all the vriskas are on the same page about this being the nightmare scenario. At least theres that.

Gamzee calling vriska “problematic.” I’m laughing really hard but I’m also like. Enraged.

And then, she lets go. His face is frozen in a repellent mask exhibiting the perfectly undetectable difference between terror and ecstasy. He’s dead.

I hope to GOD this is true but I’ve been tricked before

I don’t know if I will ever be truly free of gamzee fucking Makara

CANDY 36

Jake and his kid showed up to johns house and jake is wearing nothing but underwear

At this point this is one of the least strange things to happen

All the same, John finds it hard to feel much sympathy. Who is Jake? The one standing in front of him now, anyway. Has he always been this contemptibly pathetic, or is this too a function of the absurdity of this contorted reality? It’s hard to be sure. Are Jake’s “struggles” worth any more of John’s guilt and emotional energy than a Sim stuck in a pool without a ladder?

Jesus Christ. John did not come to play today. Fuck.

Also I feel incredibly bad for jake. I’ve never liked him but I’m not, like, a monster.

Or maybe he is doing exactly what Jake has always done. In a certain light, isn’t ascribing all this mess to some unconscious influence he might have had over the metaphysical shape of reality just a way to brush off his simpler failures as a man and a father?

God why is homestuck kicking my ass so bad

John constantly misses his dad and all I can think about is how often his dad told him that he was proud of him. And now john thinks he’s failed as a father.

John and jake are. Dancing.

I absolutely have not forgotten that jake is still in his underwear

CANDY 37

I’m living for this conversation between vriska and kid-vriska

Man I bet dirk hates john’s guts LOL

Like I imagine john’s retcon powers infuriate him

Though I bet dirk wouldn’t want the retcon powers for himself. It might take away the “challenge” of it. Idk.

Jesus Christ

How the turntables….

I Am Going To Vomit

Vrisrezi is so fucking legendary. No one can ever change my mind.

I also I just ate a ham and cheese sandwich and it was really fucking gross. Legit cant tell if I’m nauseous about that or vrisrezi

[CHANTING] VRISKA AND TEREZI ARE IN LOVE! VRISKA AND TEREZI ARE IN LOVE! VRISKA AND TEREZI ARE IN LOVE!

I’M SHAKING I FEEL SO VINDICATED RN

I forgive all the other dumb shit in this epilogue

Seriously. Transcends quadrants. I have been saying this for half a fucking decade. Vriska and terezi are in gay love. Eat shit, haters.

Asdfghjkl

I hate this stupid webcomic

I have nothing intelligent left to say anymore (as if I ever had anything intelligent to say) but. Homestuck good.

I am going to Lose My Shit

CANDY 38

Thank Fucking God

Also ever since dead teen space jade fell out of the sky, all of the characters have felt a lot more real

I’m not sure if that’s in the narrative or that’s just me getting over my disgruntlement at the incredibly batshit things happening in candy

Hatchi fucking matchi

Also getting some real dirk-fading-into-the-ether vibes from john here

Roxy is fucking laying into john damn

But it’s not like they arent making completely valid points

………..hmm……..

God I’m so depressed

I’ve spent 80% of my life worried that I’m doing the Important and Right thing

And in the last 4-5 years I’ve been confronted with my cosmic insignificance and I have not been able to get over it

Like I get it’s kind of asshole-ish. Narcissistic. Selfish. To think of your life and the people in it as something….sidelined. and to be all mopey over that.

I WANT to be all “who cares” about it because thinking that your life has any Grand Significance In The Scope Of The Infinite Universe is 100% impractical and frankly batshit

This is all to say that I have problems and homestuck if calling me tf out

CANDY 39

dave is in the FUCKING WHITE HOUSE

I swear to god if Obama shows up I will shit my fucking pants

He steps closer to investigate, wiping away at the layers of moss and dirt to reveal a surface he most certainly does recognize. It’s a transportalizer.

I am shaking in anticipation

It’s a mounted god tier costume, about the size an adult male would wear. He recognizes the symbol. It’s the same one Jake used to wear when they were teens. It is the symbol for Hope.

Obama played fucking sburb didn’t he

Why is homestuck so fucking funny

OBAMA LMAOOOOOOOOO

This is the most homestuck thing to ever happen in homestuck

Hologram throwing all this inspiring bullshit at dave and dave just repeatedly asking how Obama died

He tells himself there’s nothing wrong with crying. Of course there isn’t. Just... not in front of Obama. He’s GOT to keep it together.

I’m just gonna. Put this here.

Obama ships davekat

Daaaaaave ): ): ):

Yes I’m 21 years old yes I’m tearing up at a conversation between a fictionalized barrack obama and a fictional man who wears sunglasses from a ben stiller movie all the time

Hate this fucking comic LOL

“wake up”. What. What is happening.

The sliding panel reveals a recess, and in the recess stands a robot. It’s a gleaming, polished silver replica of Dave, but without shades. It stands totally still, unpowered. Dave struggles to make sense of what he’s looking at.

Is THIS the robot that dirk was building??

Wait Obama said he built it

What the actual fuck

Fucking. WHAT. DAVBOT?

This is so fucking weird

CANDY 40

Asdfghjkl

I love you aradia

Wow that conversation was…………..something

So calliope is fighting dirk for control of the narrative?

and dirk is like, an irresponsible author

especially interesting convo in light of dirk’s status as andrew’s self-insert

also I knew LE was gonna show up

CANDY POSTSCRIPT

rose…..bot……………..

I’ve got a bad feeling about this scoob

Also not feeling great about fucking davebot

That’s it for candy……………………..

Hopefully meat is more conclusive that

I’ve been reading for 15 total hours now

Might as well keep going

MEAT 25

Didn’t think I’d actually do it, huh?? Snide bastard

Also rose is going to straight die real soon isn’t she

And then become rosebot

Oh fuck right off

MEAT 26

Get wrecked you punk-ass bitch

MEAT 27

Okay so alt calliope is taking over jades body in this reality. Cool cool.

Also. Interesting that calliope said the way events are telegraphed, not what events are telegraphed. Goes back to importance of the speaker convo from candy

Dirk’s text is getting smaller asfgshfjk

Also good to know that calliope is completely Freaked The Fuck Out in this reality too, re: alt calliope occupying jade’s body

……….man

Also I’ve said this before but. Dirk and vriska. Are so alike.

MEAT 28

Terezi dear god I fucking missed you

It probably hasn’t been that long but it feels like forever

Yeah I suppose terezi’s been talking w/ the john that’s aged into his 30s

Also I was thinking about this lastnight & I forgot that time works different here in ye olde paradox space and I was kinda super weirded out thinking about a 30 y/o john flirting with terezi. I actually had a nightmare about it lmao. But this morning I remembered that terezis probably been at this forever.

I think the fact that john is even worried about this at all means he’s in pretty good shape

John: *thinks a girl is cute*

John: oh shit am I being a creep

Okay, terezi says she feels like she’s been out there for a hundred sweeps. That defo makes me feel better about her and john flirting

Okay, so I was right. John was the one bleeding in the car

Terezi’s not bleeding though so I am. Nervous to find out how that happens.

OF COURSE terezi is still looking for vriska, you fucking goon. Theyre in love.

Though I gotta say I wasn’t that down with johnrezi before the epilogue but. I have to say. It’s actually very cute.

Terezi just. Ate shaving cream.

MEAT 29

Oh, hi, jane

I kinda forgot how far along she is in her development as a full-blown fascist in this timeline

Dirk: *speaks*

Me: bitch

Jesus Christ

Waiting for dirk to call jane problematic

Calliope SNAPPED

MEAT 30

Why is karkat hiking around in a fucking suit

I love karkat

I love dave

Dave starting to explain super pacs to jake

And using sbahj for campaign ads asgdhadkjl

Why is he like this (I say, fondly)

Dirk is really out here being Like That

I’m

I have no words

Also I promise that this is unrelated but jake has inexplicably grown on me a little (not a lot)

MEAT 31

Now terezi is eating tobacco

She’s disgusting. I love her.

Terezi ):

John: *talks about how great terezi is*

Me: *nods solemnly*

I Am In Pain

GOD I love Terezi

Terezi: hold on. Lemme just do an impromptu surgery real quick.

Terezi: *is, very unsurprisingly, turned on by doing an impromptu surgery*

Oh ok this is happening

Good thing I found the time to get down w/ johnrezi I fucking guess

Not completely sure how I feel about this

MEAT 32

Is dirk about to fucking assassinate jake

He wouldn’t do that right

Dirk said transphobe rights??

God I hate this motherfucker

Dave: come…’out.’ What is this you speak of.

Roxy, dave, and alt calliope: Let’s talk about gender

Okay, so. Assassinating jake is something that dirk WOULD do

Calliope struggling to keep dirk back w/ the power of their narration is very fun to read though

Dirk: *slices the bell in half*

Me: that would’ve…made good content for a flash

Not to sound ungrateful but not one panel? Not one flash animation? Instead I have to read all these WORDS?

Of course if this were in a flash animation I probably wouldn’t understand fuckall of what is going on

On the other hand, it wouldn’t be taking me a billion years to get through this

God can roxy please get a pair of sunglasses to match dave. Please.

Hour? 17.5? Maybe?

Anyway I am being forced to take a break so I can participate in easter festivities (by which I mean eating dinner with 2 whole people)

Okay I’m back

I defo should be able to finish this tonight

Okay I guess killing Jake is NOT something that Dirk would do

At least. Not right now. And probably not permanently

dude…

you got to FLIP it

TURN-WAYS

Time to be back on dirk’s bullshit I guess

Meat 33

In the two hours that I was gone I managed to forget that john and terezi boned

Dirk saying things like “incel” and “cuck” make me want to Kill

Meat 34

Wow it so incredibly awful to read Dirk’s narration

I hate this stupid motherfucker so fucking much

Meat 35

*sees more orange text* oh jesus Christ

God why is he being so fucking cruel

Also if john dies then like. WHAT is the point.

Aw man I’m fucking crying

Man what the fuck

This shit fucking sucks

I gotta take a break

Meat 36

Now that I’ve taken like a 5 minute break to stop fucking crying it’s time to get back on the pain train I guess

Since I actually let Tears Fall there’s an increased chance that I’ll cry again

So I cannot be held accountable if I do that

Why the fuck does this clown keep misgendering roxy

Terezi: *pulls johns corpse out of a wallet to smell it* nothing weird about this

Also how tf is terezi gonna show back up shortly after john goes missing and no ones gonna suspect anything

Is it vriska. It’s vriska isn’t it.

Why do I feel like I’m either never going to get to see this conversation or I AM going to get to see it and its going to cause me immense personal distress

TEREZI SAID TRANS RIGHTS

Also terezi can hear dirk???????????

And are roxy’s pronouns him or them

Like did terezi just assume based on roxy’s appearance or did she talk to kanaya about it

Also I hate dirk’s stupid fucking guts

It does NOT help that I didn’t like him before the epilogue

God he sucks shit

Say it with me, now: we love terezi pyrope

Terezi DO NOT trust this clown ass motherfucker

Meat 37

Dirk is actually the worst dad. Don’t sweat it, john.

ROSE: Are you sure Kanaya is going to be ok with this?

No, rose. She absolutely will not be ok with this. What the fuck.

This shit sucks so goddamn much

I am going to be so depressed after finishing this arent I

Goddammit I’m crying again. I fucking knew I would.

Meat 38

Unfortunately I agree with dirk

FUCK

Davekat is so GOOD what the hell

Also

Karkat ):

Dirk will you fucking fuck off

I’m seriously okay with dave and karkat hopelessly pining forever if it means dirk doesn’t literally FORCE them to kiss. Like, what the fuck.

I take a deep breath and get myself under control. My light psychological intrusions may have only made things worse. Invested as I am in the outcome of this encounter, I know forcing their hand would be a mistake.

That’s the smartest thing you ever said you stupid fuck

Thank Fucking God

Meat 39

I’m nearing the end of this whole things and dirk still has narrative control. Not psyched about that.

He’s gently stroking the side of my arm now, making no effort to disguise his interest in the contours of my muscles. I use that arm to put a hand on his shoulder in an affable way, so that he’s forced to stop.

Dirk: I heard that Dirk has an 8-pack

Wait I already think I made that joke

He takes in every drop of light reflecting from my beautiful face. The sculpted cheekbones, the warrior’s eyebrows, the deadly serious yet exquisitely kissable mouth. This is the face he lives for now. A visage that, in mere minutes, will vanish from his life forever. The tears drop. His voice cracks.

Fuck OFF dude. I hate you so goddamn much.

I miss gamzee. GAMZEE. Can you believe that shit?????????

Also it’s so incredibly shitty that jane won the election against karkat

like there’s no way there’s gonna be any kind of resistance now for like, plenty of reasons, one being that it wouldn’t even start in the first place. Now jane’s gonna slide to Literal Genocide but with no opposition this time

god this is wack

Meat 40

I am so tired of seeing this fools orange text

Please god

Also I hate that homestuck has me counting exclamation marks to make sure theres not a significant number of them (8. 8 is the significant number)

Thinking about dave’s speech at dirk’s funeral and Not Feeling Great

Does dirk actually think dave is going to be the one to kill him or is that just his weird decapitation fetish talking

Meat 41

Kanaya I love you and this is not your fault but jesus Christ

Kanaya: I Have Been Bamboozled

Oh shes fucking mad

KANAYA: ***I SWEAR THAT I SHALL MAKE HIM PAY DEARLY FOR STEALING MY BELOVED WIFE!***

I know that I’ll never see it happen but I hope kanaya beats dirks ass into the goddamn ground

Remember when chainsawed eridan in half and put on bloodied lipstick afterward? That’s the shit I’m talking about

Welp. Bye, jade.

Fucking. My sentiments exactly.

Alright alt calliope is using ‘he’ pronouns w/ Roxy so I’m assuming that’s right, considering alt calliope has access to Roxy’s thoughts and shit

fuck you you punk-ass bitch

Meat 43

I have never in my life been more relieved to see red text instead of orange

Things are still pretty fucking awful, though. I haven’t forgotten that.

sdfghjkl

see things are 100% Very Bad rn but this isn’t like completely impossible to read? Like I enjoyed parts of the epilogue, didn’t enjoy other parts. But the a lot of the parts I didn’t enjoy just were so painful to read. It was damn near impossible sometimes. And like, I get what you’re trying to do, but imo tough subjects don’t necessarily need to be written in a way that makes me so viscerally upset lol

anyway what I’m saying is that I’m not viscerally upset right now. Considering I’m nearing the end, this is a good thing.

karkat is talking about how dumb the concept of incest is and is being a jerk about how roxy’s dressed. I am upset again.

Thank god dave is here to save the fucking day

I just sneezed and heard crackling in my ears. I’ve been hearing shit like that for a solid two months now. Is there fluid in my ears? Do I have an ear infection? How long do ear infections last?

I’m love them

They still don’t know john is dead ): ): ):

Thank fucking god

At least there’s the possibility that they’ll see john again and that calliope is going to provide some fucking guidance

Also arent epilogues supposed to RESOLVE SHIT and not like. Leave me hanging like this. I can tell it’s to leave me hanging and listen. Listen. I just want to be free.

I’m going to be 40 goddamn years old and homestuck: the sequel is going to come out and the characters are going to be 42 and dealing with the exact issues that I’m dealing with as a 40 year old and it’ll launch me into an at-least-a-month-long spiral of fruitless self-reflection while I cry about it

Oh god fucking dammit

What was his sacrifice, even? Having sex with terezi?

Sorry. I’m just bitter.

In any case, in addition to like, weakening LE enough for alt calliope to presumably kill him, I do think it has something to do with terezi. I don’t think her role in things is quite over yet.

Meat Postscript

Okay so we’re back to candy?

Or, at least, where candy left off

Did. Alt calliope eat LE. Is that what happens when cherubs defeat one another. Did I manage to forget this cannibalistic detail.

Did dirk influence Obama to make davebot so davebot could join forces with alt-calliope to go against dirk, or was that Obama intentionally going up against dirk

Did I really type that sentence with my own fingers

The hole leaves behind an absence in the sky so calm that continuing to call it a sky wouldn’t seem to do it justice. It’s a perfectly neutral expanse into which anything one can imagine might be summoned. And for a while, anything was. But not anymore. Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

These are a dope couple of paragraphs

Also I know that this probably goes against everything I just read but I hope this means I never have to read about an offshoot timeline again

Like I get that that was all Homestuck Brand Fuckery but I need like 300 months to recover

21 hours of reading later and I don’t really know what to

#derseday #homestuck #upd8 #also this looks fucking wack on mobile #so dont even look i guess

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guyveranimefan87-blog · 5 years

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"Captain Marvel" review - Not terrible, but not marvelous either.

As we all know, the latest MCU movie "Captain Marvel" had finally reached our cinemas, and thus after months of drama surrounding it, with one group hailing it as the best thing Marvel ever did, and other claiming it would be a movie that would destroy the whole franchise... before anyone had a chance to see it... we can finally see how is it.

And well...

In my opinion it's a solid Marvel movie, not bad or anything, but nothing special either, something around the level of "Captain America - The First Avenger", or first "Thor".

It has it's moments, but compared to previous MCU movies like "Doctor Strange" or "Black Panther" it lacks something that would make it special and unique.

I mean, with "Doctor Strange" we had our first introduction to magical side of MCU, plus trippy visuals connected with the Mirror World, and "Black Panther" had introduced us to the whole new culture and unique visual style of Wakanda, so they had something going for them even in their weaker moments.

And I don't think "Captain Marvel" has something like that.

I mean, 90's references are cool and I got a few chuckles out of them, but if I wanted to remind myself of those dumb and glorious times, when I was younger, slimmer and less cynical I could go on Tumblr...

Oh, yeah I am already here.

And people who don't remember those times would probably be as baffled by seeing pager and dial-up modems, as they were be seeing alien cities and spaceships...

But let's start at the beginning, that is with the plot.

Our heroine is Vers, a member of an elite military unit known as Starforce serving the interstellar Kree Empire, but despite her unquestionable power and fighting skills, her commander and mentor Yon-Rogg (Jude Law) has doubts about her performance, since she has a tendency to let her emotions guide her, something that Kree warrior shouldn't do.

Yeah, this cyborg guy from “Guardians of The Galaxy” is there too...

Vers emotional problems are connected with the fact that she lacks memories from before she joined the unit, and is tormented by recurring nightmares where she sees chaotic and fragmented pieces of her past.

Still, as I mentioned before, she is still a powerful and confident warrior, so despite Yon-Rogg's doubts, she takes part in a mission to extract a deep-cover Kree agent from one of the border planets controlled by an ancient enemy of her people, a shapeshifting race of Skrulls.

Mission ends badly, as it turns out that the agent was already compromised by Skrulls and Vers is captured during a resulting ambush by a Skrull commander, Talos (Ben Mendelsohn), who used some kind of memory probe to access her buried memories... that turn out to be about her previous life, but not on one of Kree planets, but rather on a primitive, backwater planet C-53, also known as Earth.

Apparently Skrulls are looking for a scientist known as doctor Wendy Lawson (Annette Bening), that Vers somehow used to know, and who according to her memories developed some kind of new faster-than-light engine.

Vers manages to escape captivity using her ability to generate energy blasts from her hands, as well as her hand-to-hand skills, but the escape pod she steals from Skrulls gets damaged, causing her to crash-land on Earth, to be precise in one of Los Angeles Blockbuster Video stores.

Does anyone remember Blockbuster Video anymore? Sorry, getting back on the topic...

Her less-than-stealthy arrival alerts the local authorities, including a pair of S.H.I.E.L.D agents, Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) and Nick Fury (Samuel L. Mothafu#kin Jackson), who are a bit skeptical when a woman "dressed like for Lazer Tag" tells them she is an alien soldier who hunts other aliens, who are shapeshifters, but they are attacked by one of Talos's troops, confirming that her story is true.

And thus Vers and Fury would have to join forces to stop Skrulls and find the truth about our heroine, from her fragmented memories...

Before the movie I was curious and to be honest rather worried about how screenwriters would tackle the backstory of Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel, since in the comics it was rebooted so many times, that I doubt that even people writing her remember about everything, with numerous costume, identity and power changes, not to even mention new personality traits with each new writer...

But they did managed to jump this hurdle, by creating a completely new origin story from the ground up, that while using certain elements from her comic book counterparts, gives us something relatively simple, and accessible to causal moviegoers and hardcore nerds alike.

And let's be honest, since Carol is not exactly the most popular character ever, despite numerous attempts at making her relevant in the last few years, so I don't think there would be any purist fans outraged by the changes made for the movie.

I mean, whole cast of "Guardians of The Galaxy" had undergone massive changes, and everybody was OK with that, heck some of those changes were even retconned into comics, so probably here it would also work that way.

As for the plot itself, it really did reminded me of first "Thor".

I mean, we have a superhero from an advanced race, that is dumped on Earth without having any idea of how the place works, but finds a hypercompetent human sidekick, and together they stand against Big Bad only for The Hero to unlock their True Power in the third act.

Yeah... Seems kinda familiar, eh?

It's not necessarily bad or anything, but it's really a shame that some things hadn't been expanded upon a bit, like Kree culture, relationship between Carol a.k.a Vers and Yon-Rogg, etc.

I mean "Black Panther" managed to fit whole three act formula into the plot, while also show the viewers quite a lot about Wakanda, so why not here?

Movie also drags a bit in the middle, as save for two action scenes, most of the story-arc is comprised of our heroine and Fury driving from place to place looking for answers, talking a bit and so on, which is not really adrenaline-filled superhero cinema...

It hadn't reached the point when I got really bored, mainly due to good chemistry Larson and Jackson have together, but I did though that MCU movies managed to overcome their pacing problems after Phase One, so it wasn't a pleasant surprise seeing that they had taken two steps back here.

Another controversy about the movie way before it's release was our lead, Brie Larson, not only because of doubts about her acting prowess, but also quite a few ill-thought things she said be it in interviews, or through Twitter, but the latter is not really important here, so let's focus on the former.

After watching trailers and promo clips quite a few people were doubting Larson's ability to carry the movie, and accusing her acting of being "stiff" and "emotionless" and they were partially right, though I am not sure all the blame can be put on actress herself.

Vers/Carol does seem rather stiff and emotionless through most of the movie, but it looks more like a conscious decision of director's part, as I mentioned Kree pride themselves on controlling their emotions, which is fine, but severely limited Larson in the role, as it's hard to say anything about her character's personality.

I mean, there are a few scenes when she does show that she can act, usually during her scenes with Nick Fury, cause as I mentioned before, they have a nice chemistry together, flashbacks from before she was trained as a Kree warrior, but still comes out a bit bland through most of the runtime.

It becomes even more jarring during the scene when Vars meets her old friend Maria Rambeau (Lashana Lynch), who is rather shocked to see her, torn between happiness and confusion, giving a strong, emotional performance... while Larson keeps the same facial expression through most of it.

As I mentioned before, it's not the actress's fault, but it does harm the movie on some level.

Samuel L. Jackson however absolutely nails it as younger, less cynical Fury.

Now, we got used to gruff, no-nonsense and properly paranoid commander of S.H.I.E.L.D but here we get Nick who sees a being with superpowers for the first time in his life, and is appropriately shocked / awed by the fact that aliens exist, which gives Mr. Jackson an opportunity to have a bit of a fun with the character.

I mean, I had never expected to see Fury going "oh so cute" about a cat, or freaking out about seeing an alien, but it's lot of fun watching him do it, and judging from his actor, a lot fun to play it, which is rather infectious.

Also, this cat is awesome.

Sadly, yet again movie’s villain remains one of it’s weak points.

I mean, damn, I really though that after "Black Panther" and "Infinity War" we got over the so-called "Marvel Curse" and villains who are not Loki wouldn't suck anymore. And yet, here we are, back to square one...

Now, don't get me wrong, Ben Mendelsohn does what he can to sell Skrulls leader, and even managed to have some fun with his portrayal.

For example being rather laid-back and even funny in his true form, and a bit stern and stiff in his preferred human form, as well as giving each of them a different accent, but as they say, You cannot get water out of a stone.

He got very little to work with in terms of motivations, background or even personality of his character, making Talos quite flat, despite the actor's best efforts.

If I had to compare it to other Marvel villains, he would be right there with Malekith the Accursed from "Thor - The Dark World", as both movies had absolutely wasted a great actor due to not giving him anything he can use, nor any freedom to flesh the character out, which is a damned shame.

I mean, they tried with a bit of a twist near the end, but You can see it coming from miles away, so it's not really a surprise, and nor does it help our villain in the slightest.

What else...

... Oh yeah, I had evaded this particular elephant in the room for long enough.

Before the movie premiered many people, myself included, were afraid that it would delve too much into politics, since both the cast and Marvel PR people were putting a lot of emphasis on the feminist message of "Captain Marvel", throwing the phrase "First Female Marvel Hero" etc.

Thus I had expected a sexist, and politics heavy crap like "Ghostbusters 2016", but really for all the bluster of Marvel execs, and journalists focusing of this, the whole "feminist" part of the movie turned out to be nearly nonexistent.

I mean, sure we get a scene with male soldiers telling Carol she is "too weak" to be a pilot, or a guy who obnoxiously tries to pick her up, but it's not like the movie spends extended periods of time on it, or goes to extreme length to show all men as idiots, manbabies and chauvinists, as "Ghostbusters" did, so really there was no point to the whole sh#tstorm about it in the first place.

And really, "Wonder Woman" was really a lot more about "Girl Power" than this movie, so I don't think that people who expected it to be about "powerful femininity" and stuff would be totally satisfied with it...

Other than that, we get good special effects (Especially the ones used to de-age Jackson and Gregg), few nice fight scenes, especially in the third act, overall good acting despite problem mentioned above, and a few obligatory callbacks to other MCU movies...

And that's basically it.

It's a competently done movie that nevertheless lacks the bang it supposed to have, and I think that in a few weeks most people would forget about it, like they probably did with "Doctor Strange" and "Ant-Man & The Wasp", because they would be busy talking about "Endgame".

It would still make a ton of money, as all MCU movies do, even if it clearly show that their formula got a bit stale at this point, and even without making a lasting impression it was a well-made popcorn flick.

Still, it shows that Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel does have a potential as a movie character, despite all weird stuff Marvel did with her comic book counterpart, but it wasn't the time when this potential had the chance to be fully utilized. So, better luck next time, Carol?

#captain marvel #review #movie review #ramblings #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #brie larson #samuel l jackson #controversy #movie #avengers endgame #no spoilers #nick fury #agent coulson #s.h.i.e.l.d.#marvel comics

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thescrapbookingscientist · 5 years

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Weekly Blog Post #1 -Goodbye 2018 and Welcome 2019

1/11/2019

Dear Future me,

I’m a bit late starting this (which I have no excuse for), but the gist is that I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to make a blog post every week as a way to document and look back on all the good and possibly not good things happening in my life. There's no formula here, it’s mainly be just a free for all to talk about my week and the things I enjoy.

That being said, This first entry will be a bit different and quite a bit longer than normal, as I reflect back on the recently ended 2018. This year stretched on unusually long as Trumps Politics became a raging dumpster fire threatening a country wide collapse on a weekly basis, and authoritarian began spreading further throughout the rest of the World. For me personally, I

-wrote a 26 page thesis that I will never look at again

-graduated from UC with a Neuroscience degree

-served a term as a research assistant taking care of mice

-worked at then quit my job at Staples

-Got a job at the IRS

-Got suspended from my job at the IRS due to a government shutdown that is still in effect

-started dating for the first time (though no girlfriend as of yet)

-grew even closer to my friends as we typically hung out at least twice a week

-entered a DnD campaign

-Got suspended from playing said DnD campaign

-Discovered I like Sushi

-Went to my first concert since middle school (Panic! at the Disco and Hayley Kiyoko)

-Stayed at a cabin with my friends where we played strip jenga and got lost hiking in the woods for 8 miles in a thunderstorm

-Got a mysterious disease that lasted 2 weeks from said hike

-Grew my hair out then cut 10 inches off and donated it

-My best friend got engaged, My sister went to Sweden, and my brother moved to Toledo

-Watching my puppy Cocoa grow up (though we technically got her late 2017)

And probably a lot more that I can’t remember at the moment. As per usual I spent a lot of 2018 consuming media like the nerd that I am, so I’m going to spend the rest of this far too long entry ranking my favorite things I saw/read in 2018. These will be ranked by pure enjoyment, not overall quality, and aren't meant to be an objective best of list. I just want to talk about things I like. So:

Top 5 Movies

Honorable mention- Hereditary, a fantastic and deeply unsettling film that was one of the most emotionally charged viewing experiences I’ve ever had. It would be high on the list if I had actually watched in 2018, but I only just now watched it and had made the list before hand. Still, one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen.

5-Venom-Movie was a fucking mess but it was pretty fun. I love the concept of the Symbiotes.

4-A Quiet Place-A movie with almost no sound/verbal dialogue and a great sense of suspense

3-Black Panther-Amazing sense of Style, Amazing Villain, A great Cultural achievement

2-Deadpool 2- Fantastic sense of humor, inventive fights, first big screen lgbt+ superheroes

1-Into the Spiderverse-Best animation I've seen in maybe a decade, Everything about this movie is surprisingly amazing, from the soundtrack to the character designs to the emotional resonance. This Movie can’t come out on DVD fast enough.

Top 5 Cartoons

Honorable Mention -Voltron-Disappointing Finale but 7th season had an amazing Keith/Shiro fight scene and Lotor, arguably one of the best characters in the series.

5-Rick and Morty-Not my favorite season but still smart, rewatchable, and unique episodes.

4-She Ra- Great characters and designs with the Catra/Adora conflict elevating the Series.

3-Bobs Burgers- Consistently good, funny, and relatable, My whole family enjoys it.

2-Steven Universe- Finally getting answers to alien plot, excellent art, plenty of lgbt goodness

1-Hilda-An incredibly inventive new series with a truly unique and empathetic fantasy world, adorable art, a wonderful mother-daughter relationship and some of my new favorite creature designs. The atmosphere this series creates is one I want to live in forever.

Top 5 TV Shows

Honorable Mention- Killing Eve, Like Hereditary I did not watch this until 2019, but I adored Villanelle’s strange psychopathy and the very lesbian tension between her and Eve.

Honorable Mention-The Haunting of the Hill House-Great character building episodes, neat effects, and a great building tension, an underwhelming finale brings it down a bit.

5-Stranger Things-Inferior to the 1st season but still great characters and interesting plot

4-Game of Thrones-Lots of plot contrivances but every episode was still massively entertaining.

3-Good Place-Genuinely great twist with creative ideas and a solid critique of moral philosophy

2-Dirk Gently-Batshit insane, quirky, hilarious, with absolutely amazing characters and writing.

1-Brooklyn 99-One of the best shows on TV, every episode is hilarious and heartfelt, I love every cast member. Ontop of having an amazing sense of humor, B99 is one of the most progressive shows on television, and continually address relevant issues in a tactful and good natured way.

Top 5 Anime

Honorable Mention-Zombieland Saga- a fun show with a creative spin on the idol genre, the heartfelt relations between the characters were a highlight, as was the presence of a trans idol.

5-Aggretsuko-Incredibly relatable with adorable and lovable characters.

4-Mo Dao Zu Shi-Unique setting with a great protagonist and a slow build gay romance

3-Devilman Crybaby-An unforgettable and highly enthralling experience, plus I’m gay for Miko

2-Megalo Box-Probably Deserves to be #1 for its fantastic sense of style, tension, amazingly choreographed fights, lovable protagonist and ‘Antagonist’, and incredible pacing.

1-Reincarnated Slime-This anime is just the ultimate escapist fantasy. Every week I look forward to watching the stupidly op and likable protagonist make friends with everyone he meets, build a peaceful city from scratch, overpower everyone with neat abilities, try his best to avoid conflicts, and comment on how hot everyone around him is. It's the equivalent of playing an RPG and doing every side quest you can to make everyone happy, I love it. It's just very Chill and pretty.

Top 5 Comics

Honorable Mention-Space Battle Lunchtime-Cute lgbt+ characters and fun concept, but short for now

5-Moonstruck-My ideal fantasy world with fun and vibrant fantasy designs and a highly diverse cast of lgbt+ characters, but only just beginning with a lot of room for further character development.

4-Trust-fantastic art and an intriguing setting with a mysterious but interesting plot

3-MotorCity-Stylish protagonist with an adorable girlfriend and an interesting supernatural twist.

2-Saga-Creative and exciting space opera that introduces lots of likable characters and then kills them.

1-The Adventure Zone-My favorite Fantasy Story of all time getting translated into a visual medium. While the first Volume was not quite as good as the Podcast (Though I don’t believe that’s possible anyway), it still had much of the great humor and characters with some lovely art and a condensed story.

Top 5 Web Series

Honorable Mention- Game Grumps-Not sure if I want to count Lets Plays but this channel brings me so much joy. House Party, Doodle Doods, and the 10 Minute Power Hours were highlights.

5-Monster Pop-Great colorful character designs and complex character conflicts with ample lgbt+ content

4-Buzzfeed Unsolved-very interesting and weird events with hilarious commentary, the hosts have a great chemistry and play well off each other.

3-Their Story-My favorite lesbians, stylish, cute, and fun, wish it updated more often.

2-19 Days-Amazing slow build romances with incredibly fun characters and interactions, Grade A Homoerotic tension.

1-Ava's Demon-Some of my favorite art and character designs in any Media, The plot is amazing and fairly unpredictable, I feel incredibly excited every time I see it has updated.

Well that’s all for now. Next time will be my favorite ships of 2018, as their were some interesting couples this year.

#Weekly Blog #1/11/2019

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mst3kproject · 6 years

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Dance Hall Racket

Remember Timothy Farrell as gangster Umberto Scalli from Racket Girls? He's back with a new scheme in Dance Hall Racket!

What's that? You want to know how he could be back in 1954's Dance Hall Racket when he was shot and killed in 1951's Racket Girls? So do I. My first theory was that Dance Hall Racket was actually a prequel to Racket Girls rather than a sequel, but he dies at the end of this one, too. Farrell also played Scalli in a third movie, 1949's The Devil's Sleep (which I guess is actually the first Scalli movie, being as it was made before the other two). I haven't seen that one, but I'll look for it, and if he doesn't die at the end I will be extremely disappointed.

Scalli's scheme this time is using a nightclub as a front to launder the money he makes by smuggling diamonds inside dogs' ears (this actually happens), but if he wants his longtime girlfriend Fortuna to marry him, he's gonna need more than that. An old friend of Scalli's, Victor Pappas, is about to be released from prison – if Scalli can make Pappas tell where he hid the loot from their last heist, he'll be rich enough to win her over, but little does he know, his criminal empire is about to topple (again). Undercover cop Charlie Edson is investigating him, looking for the murderer of a sailor. You'd think being killed once would be enough to teach Scalli that crime doesn't pay.

The cops use the phrase 'sea men' to refer to sailors. I'm imagining Tom and Crow snickering over that while Joel tries his best to keep them from making jokes too overt for television.

“But Joel, he said...”

“I know he did, Crow, but there are kids in the audience!”

I went into this movie trying not to remember the pain of watching Racket Girls, but I really expected more of the same. Because of this, the first quarter hour or so of Dance Hall Racket was actually a pleasant surprise. Racket Girls began with a scene of wrestling that really contributed nothing at all – Dance Hall Racket, however, got right on with actually telling its story! The exposition about Scalli, Pappas, and Fortuna wasn’t too annoying, we got to see the sailor killed and Edson sent in undercover, and I began to hope that this might be an actual movie. Sadly, having set up all of that, the story came to a dead screeching halt and began puttering around killing time.

It does this in two main ways: one is watching women change. These scenes are filled with weird cuts in which the characters’ clothes appear and vanish again, while the actresses remain standing in the same spot. They’re often not wearing any less clothing, and the dialogue continues, so we’re not supposed to think that any time has passed. I think the cuts may have less to do with modesty than with a camera that could only film a certain number of seconds in one take. There’s also a scene in which two drunk women have some kind of limp-wristed parody of a catfight which is so bad it’s actually laugh-out-loud funny.

The other way the movie fills time is with Punchy, a supposed ‘comic relief’ character who is so devoid of humour I think I’ve forgotten how to tell a joke.

So yeah, all this goes on for another half an hour, during which time very little happens that’s actually relevant to the plot. Occasionally hints of it peek out of the foliage, but mostly we’re listening to Punchy fail to be funny, or watching Scalli’s goons threaten women with knives when he thinks they’re stealing from him (like Jackie and her Swanky Apartment in Racket Girls, I guess). Then when we’ve almost forgotten about him, Pappas finally shows up and the movie actually takes a surprising turn, when jealous and trigger-happy thug Vinnie takes exception to Scalli appointing his girlfriend Rose as Pappas’ date for the evening.

This is a surprisingly good piece of storytelling for this movie – Vinnie’s possessiveness of Rose was set up earlier, although by this point we’ve pretty much forgotten about that, too. So much time was spent on other details of the characters’ lives and relationships that turned out to be irrelevant, we can’t be blamed for assuming Vinnie and Rose are more of the same. Seeing it paid off like that was actually kind of satisfying. Unfortunately, it also serves to emphasize just how many other things were set up in the movie that didn’t pay off, many of which seemed like they ought to be important.

What, for example, happened to Fortuna? We only saw her in one scene and then she vanished utterly. She was the one Scalli was trying to please, so you’d think we’d see her hanging around and pestering him. What happened to Icepick, the guy who wanted to leave the racket and get married? His story was set up in a way that makes us sure something terrible is going to happen to him, but the movie never gets around to it. What’s up with Pappas being unable to speak? We’re told twice that he had his tongue cut out and that really sounds like it ought to be a plot point but it never is. When he made sure Vinnie got shot I thought for a moment it would turn out that he’d agreed to work for the cops in order to get out of jail, but the movie ends without going into it.

It’s also another movie that can’t really be said to have a hero. We don’t know Edson at all – we don’t even learn his name until well after he’s introduced and nothing he does ever gives him a personality. He’s just A Cop. The movie is much more interested in the various double-crossings among the nasty types who work for Scalli. None of these people can really be considered a protagonist, since they’re all horrible and never sympathetic in the least, but they at least have relationships and motivations.

For all that, though, this is still a better movie than Racket Girls! The irrelevant dancing is somehow much more bearable than irrelevant wrestling was, maybe because the dancing isn’t a contest and we don’t feel we’re supposed to have something invested in it when we can’t. More importantly, we don’t have a Peaches Page in this movie. There are plenty of half-clothed women in it, and the movie leers at them unapologetically, but there’s no single one who is set up as a potential hero only to be exploited and forgotten about. In this sense, Dance Hall Racket feels a little more honest and a little less disappointing. It’s a terrible, terrible movie, but it’s not quite as bad as I know it could have been.

Between this and Racket Girls, I also think I’m starting to get an inkling of what, if indeed anything, the ‘Scalli Trilogy’ is trying to say. The films are obviously about how crime doesn’t pay, but the comeuppances in them are not brought about by the police but by Scalli’s fellow criminals. Crime doesn’t pay, but organized crime in particular cannot possibly pay because everybody in the organization is a criminal, and criminals are by nature untrustworthy and therefore unable to work together. Maybe this is what’s being emphasized by Lois the thief in this movie, or Jackie and her Swanky Apartment in Racket Girls – there can be no cooperation when everybody is out for themselves.

I also have to wonder what’s going on with the thing where Scalli dies in Movie One only to reappear in Movie Two a few years later and die again. The two can’t possibly be in continuity with each other unless Scalli respawns like a video game character every time he’s killed, so what gives? Is Dance Hall Racket supposed to be a remake? That kind of makes sense when you consider how it does try to start correcting some of its predecessor’s mistakes. Is this an alternate universe, demonstrating that crime doesn’t pay in any possible world? Has Scalli been reincarnated, only to learn nothing from the mistakes of his previous lifetime? This fascinates me far more than it should.

You may wonder why I bother to think about it when the real answer is obviously just that the film-makers and actor Timothy Farrell were just too damned lazy to come up with a new character. It’s true that there’s probably no more to it than that, and yet I’m not totally sure, because the movie does make a point of ending where it began. With Scalli and Vinnie both dead and Icepick out of the racket, management of the club falls to the next guy down on the totem pole, bouncer Bert. We’ve heard the girls who work there talk about him and how he keeps everybody in line – both the customers and the girls themselves. The policeman who has supposedly been narrating the whole story says they figure Bert is continuing to launder money and sooner or later he’ll be next on their list, and thus the whole cycle starts again.

I gotta see that third (first) Scalli movie. Maybe that one will tell me whether there’s really anything going on there. Or maybe, considering how much of an improvement this one was over Racket Girls, it’ll just be totally unwatchable. The only thing I can be absolutely certain of is that Dance Hall Racket would have made for some awesome MST3K.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #dance hall racket #50s

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hazlouquitefinished · 6 years

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JLY Analysis: The In-Depth Post

Hello and welcome to what may very well be the world’s longest post about Louis Tomlinson’s recent lyric video for his song “Just Like You”! You may have seen my prior posts about the video - here’s the link for my JLY tag if you want to catch up on my prior analysis!

To preface, this post is the result of an actual frame-by-frame analysis of the entire video (all 6,155 frames), and it’s everything that I haven’t seen other bloggers mention.

I’m here to present the content of the video so that everyone has access to it! If I’m missing something, chances are I’ve already posted about it or saw someone else post about it, but feel free to send me a message if you spot something I didn’t catch!

Anyway, let’s get on with it! Hopefully somebody reads through all of it, but it’s a lot, lmao. All 65 pages of my screenshot document are analyzed and laid out below the cut. 😎

First up is the headline under “whole world in my right hand”: All of the headlines that have visible words around/beneath them have obviously had the actual title replaced with the lyrics, but you can still source the original article if you have enough words.

This is actually from the original wanted poster from the infamous Elizabeth Short case, often called the Black Dahlia case. The case has been unsolved since it occurred in 1947.

Next is this travel deal, from a trip to Norway advertised in The Times.

The crossed-out headline also in that frame says “really not a petrolhead”, which is from this article.

Next is this headline:

It comes from this article:

Near the Thomas Paine article is a review of this book:

Moving on to a series of cars:

“23″ written on the seat.

The above picture is actually this one of Lindsay Lohan with her black Porsche, from June 2013 as far as I can tell:

I didn’t try to find the other cars, but I believe they’re other celebrity car pics. Here’s one last one:

Next is another trip advertisement, which I believe is from a China Yangtze cruise.

The upper left text is from this football article:

This “party” headline is next:

It’s from this article, a review of a comedy that - according to the link - was first published all the way back in February, then recently update online.

Funnily enough, one of the stars is a familiar name :-)

This next frame has quite a few articles:

The main two are these:

Here’s the frame with the relevant parts underlined:

I don’t know what the “global” logo is. On the right hand part of the frame is the obituary of Pat Sephton.

Pat, as the obituary title states, was the woman who founded the Bottoms Up strip club.

I don’t know where this next part appears in the video itself, because my document got mixed up in some places, but an anon pointed out to me that the megaphone featured is the same one in the History music video.

Some blue n green in this frame:

And this one:

The upper corner of this frame has a tiny clipping of an article:

These next two frames feature text from these two articles:

These two frames contain whited-out dialogue from a Dear Deidre column:

“I’ve, erm, I’ve been … Erm .. Well, now that you ask...”

“They said you weren’t working tonight, so where have you been?”

The green silhouettes are consistent with the couple in the article:

The article is about “Cathy” who’s cheating on her boyfriend, “Max”, with “Darren”. Darren is cheating on his girlfriend “Jill” with Cathy.

Max and Jill actually end up together, both the victims of their boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s infidelity. Jill gets cold feet with her relationship with Max, and Darren feels the same about Cathy, so Jill and Darren try to work things out. In the end, Cathy gets left out in the cold - the cheater who started the whole mess.

Next up is the frame that the “happy eggs” article is on. It features a headline from Volume V, Issue VI of something, but who knows what.

“Alex” hides onscreen for a few frames :-)

The full article is this one:

It discusses Manchester United at length. Interesting, given the fact that we know someone who is an avid fan of that particular team. :-)

If I remember right, he talked about Manchester United at his show this year, didn’t he? I digress - there are several more small mentions of the team, though looking through my document, I don’t think I screenshotted all of them. Interesting nonetheless. :-) Moving on!

An article about China’s Communist Party Congress.

I know we already found it, but here’s the pic and website of the Queens Arms, located in the Jewellery Quarter of Birmingham:

There are two articles in this frame:

This one about Andrea Pirlo, a footballer whose career ended this year:

And this one about mental illness:

The quote that’s featured in the video is:

“'One in four of us will have some form of mental health episode at some stage in our life. If we're moving 400,000 passengers on the DLR each weekday, a significant number of our customers will be going through something, without necessarily showing the symptoms.”

This headline is from the following article about the National Trust:

The National Trust is the governing body of protected sites of natural beauty or historic significance.

In the above frame is this article:

The text in this frame is from this article:

The National Trust comes back in this frame:

This is the article:

This next frame is rather content-heavy:

In the bottom-left corner is a photo of St. Vincent, from a review of her new album Masseducation. Kudos to Louis for adding another LGBTQ+ artist to the video - St. Vincent dated Cara Delevingne for 1.5 years :-)

The same-sex marriage quote is from this article about Tim Minchin, a composer.

The right-hand picture is from this article about Dizzee Rascal:

Finally, the upper-middle person is actually a sideboard called “Ziggy” from a bespoke handmade furniture site.

This was interesting to me because there’s obviously no person in the photo that was used - the animator just cut one out. I have no idea who it is, and I’m interested as to why the sideboard was advertised in a newspaper in the first place, considering it’s very limited edition. [shrugs]

This is from another horse-racing article:

It discusses a particularly feisty filly; fans of the horse are fighting for her to continue racing, but her manager is thinking about taking her off the track.

Carla Bruni, a musician, is featured here:

as I noted - the words featured are “world war”, “manipulating”, “exhausted”, and “tensest sense”. It’s a review of the World War II film “Land of Mine”, from this article:

This is from this article, a book review:

Beetle Bailey flashbacks! hahah

More Cillian Murphy mentions! I hope he’s hinting at an upcoming guest appearance on Peaky Blinders, lmao

This frame is from this article:

This headline is from this article, all the way back in 2014:

Anyone else getting flashbacks to.....

:-)

This frame is from a review of a Van Gogh movie called “Loving Vincent”

Not to be dramatic, but “revolutionary artist” is exactly how I would describe Louis :’)

I just thought it was funny that the dead-center word in this word search is....

OTP :-)

And yet another shout-out to Cillian! Me, too, Louis. Me, too.

You may have seen in my prior analysis that “Ruby In The Dust” appeared, and I wasn’t sure what it referenced. This is actually the article it’s from:

This is the first line of that article:

:-)

The text on the right half of this frame is from this article:

Hi, Manchester United :-)

This is an advertisement for McCarthy & Stone retirement homes. They have locations all over the UK, but the ads are location-specific - I thought this one was from Cheshire, but the phone number didn’t match up. It’s 0800-201-4215, but I can’t call it because I live in the US, so who knows where it’s from! [shrugs]

OTP shows up again!

We’ve already pointed out the nautical star, but I have to include it again because, as a lesbian, it makes me so happy :-)

my heart is warm :’)

I’m including this frame because I’m interested to hear other opinions - “Loui” was spelled and left up for a few seconds, then this end letter was added. It looks far too flat to be an “s”, IMO, so does anyone think it could be an “e” to spell “Louie”?

Finally, the last few frames are various articles with white paint obscuring most of the text. The “LGBT” article from earlier appears once at the beginning of the end segment, then it comes back at the very end. It’s the very last thing you see before the video ends :-)

And that’s the end! I’d like to thank @parodiesofuktabloids for helping me find the love rectangle Dear Deidre comic, and @ann-fortunately for her help with the mirror article! I’d also like to extend a major congratulations to Louis for creating a video that’s absolutely packed full of content - I really enjoyed researching everything featured.

I couldn’t be prouder to be a fan of someone that so clearly has made a point to use his platform to represent marginalized voices through this video. As a lesbian, Louis’ representation of LGBTQ+ news and culture was particularly meaningful to me. I can’t thank him enough for putting this video together - it absolutely took an incredible amount of skill and intelligence to film and create, and I feel honored to have been the one to reverse-engineer it these past few weeks.

Onto the next video, Louis? 😎

#just like you #this took me WEEKS and I am finally done!#if you want to leave a nasty comment in my box: please don't. I won't publish it and it won't change the fact that I've already done this #analysis #take it somewhere else!#anyway I hope someone actually read this whole thing lol #I can't believe I finally finished it!#if I missed something Louis is gonna have to give me an OBVIOUS hint lol I won't find it otherwise

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marvelandponder · 6 years

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3 for the Price of 1!

When My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) finally came out, I wanted to review it right. And to do that, I had to call in a few friends.

I basically knew this had to be a collab of some sort, but instead of reaching out to big names in the fandom, I decided to ask a couple of friends to review the movie with me. What’s more in the spirit of things than making something with the friends, new and old, that we made because of this show and its ridiculous fandom?

I have links to Mr. Mikail’s and DigiKate’s spoiler-free and, in the case of DigiKate, full-length spoiler reviews!

I’ll wait until the blu-ray/DVD comes out in January to release my full spoiler-filled review (mostly because you know how busy I’ve been the past two months, but also because I have friends who haven’t seen the movie yet), but until then, here’s some general thoughts on the movie and how it fits into the modern animated films scene.

How does it measure up to other movies? Should we be comparing it differently because it’s a movie based on a TV show? How the fuck did the Emoji Movie get nominated for Best Animated Feature when MLP: The Movie didn’t?

Meta-Narratives in Kids Movies

Gotta get this out of the way first. Big surprise: I loved it.

I knew I’d enjoy it, but I couldn’t believe how much I was smiling, even by the first big musical number. Every time a minor character came on screen that I recognized, I had to hold back a scream. I was so proud of the girls, and so impressed with DHX’s work.

I just. Fucking. Loved it.

So, there’s no denying it. My Little Pony: The Movie is an absolute joy for fans (for reasons I can’t get into in the spoiler-free review), but I think what separates this from being a universally beloved insta-classic anywhere except among fans is the landscape of kids movies these days.

Take a look at the likes of Frozen, Moana, and Zootopia and you’ll find a lot of meta commentary on the way Disney usually tells its stories—sometimes, even while embracing those cliches if necessary.

Inside Out and How to Train Your Dragon 2 tackle deeply emotional subjects, as modern Disney, Pixar and Dreamworks love to do.

Even Lego: Batman was a ceaselessly rapid-fire comedy with a heart, and hit on all fronts for it.

So, what? Is there something we’re missing? Well, MLP: The Movie does have all those elements to various degrees---meta humour, emotional subject matter, and quite a number of great jokes. But then, what’s the real missing element for general audiences and movie critics?

A clever, unique message and/or implementation. As much as we love MLP, we know it’s not the first to talk about the value of friendship. And it’s certainly not the first movie to use the 3-act fetch-quest structure it does.

If you wanna know what’s stopping MLP: The Movie from being as phenomenal to other people as it is to me, it’s that this is something I haven’t seen before, and this is something they’ve seen a hundred times (even if it was done pretty well here).

As a fan, who knows these characters inside and out, I haven’t seen these characters pushed to their limits in quite the ways they are here. Leaving Equestria and the lore and worldbuilding therein is inspiring, as it expands the possibilities and the map itself of a world I love so much. And to be honest there are one or two dark moments (by MLP’s standard) that I couldn’t believe!

Basically, the novelty and originality of the movie, at least in terms of story, comes mostly from the perspective of fans and staff members who have been dealing with this world and its characters for the better part of a decade now.

But since they used both the message of friendship without bells and whistles and the tried-and-true road trip movie plot beats, I can see why some audience members think this is adorable, but bland.

If however you think of MLP: The Movie as a response to the recent string of Disney movies that playfully roll their eyes at Disney’s happy-go-lucky (or meet-cute-and-go-marry as the case may be) philosophies, then it’s very relevant.

And a bit of that structure is actually there. Within the movie itself there’s a bit of that eye-rolling, and as seen in the trailers, it comes from the villains. The heroes remain genuinely positive and even schmaltzy, and that’s what wins the day in the end.

These days Disney in particular feels the need to call itself out on all that, and while it can be refreshing, that can also put a bit of a cynical edge into these movies that, frankly, doesn’t always need to be there. Sometimes you do need to believe in the cheesy, sometimes you need your friends and all the sentiment that comes with them. A kinder world can be incredibly charming. Trust me.

But maybe I’m being a bit harsh. All those movies have teams and budgets multiple times the size that MLP: The Movie did. Maybe it’s fairer to compare it to other animated show turned theatrical releases.

So what does that landscape look like?

Adaptation Land

There’s nothing like seeing your favourite show on the big screen for the first time. Upped visuals, bigger stories---what more could you want?

It’s here where I think MLP: The Movie measures up in wonderful ways.

Even going from a seemingly similar medium like TV to movies is a pretty hard transition, and I think there are any number of common pitfalls and crowning moments of awesome that come along with that.

But it’s very rare for an theatrical adaption of an animated show to quite meet the same level of quality as the big Disney, Pixar, and sometimes Dreamworks movies.

And it’s obvious as to why. The lower budgets, teams often having to split their time between the show and a movie, bigger-and-better-itis, you name it.

But even if I can’t say most of these movies are transcendent, there’s often still a level of excellence achieved. Even with the relatively low-performing Powerpuff Girls Movie, or the cheesiness of Pokemon: The First Movie, you can still find great movies in this category.

It’s just... they’re always better if you’ve watched the show. Always. There’s more depth, greater knowledge of what this means for the characters, a built-in love and understanding ofthe world. The phrase “for the fans” is implied. It has to be.

Unless, of course, you’re like the Lego: Ninjago movie which (I haven’t seen but heard) totally and completely abandons the canon of the show. But then, what’s the point in making a movie based on that show?

You see the problems show staffs face here?

So, I think MLP: The Movie is exceedingly enjoyable, but is that really just for fans? And if it is, did it cater enough to fans?

In her review, ILoveKimPossibleALot made a good point: we spend the movie with a new set of villains, in new territory, with new characters, and a new story unrelated to the backstories and lore that we, as fans, are so interested in.

I’ve seen a number of fans actually wish the season seven finale’s story and MLP: The Movie’s story were switched.

The season seven finale is straight up lore porn, and one of the greatest two-parters MLP has had. And honestly I would love to see this expanded on in a way to see what it would be like for Starswirl to be emotional. Build it all up even more so the weight of the regret hits home harder.

But, see, that would be impossible, because MLP: The Movie went into production 3-4 years ago.

You can tell, too. No spoilers, but Twilight’s arc in this movie is very reminiscent of something she might go through in season 4 and Rainbow Rocks.

That’s yet another reason animated adaptations are so tricky---unless you’re in the case of Hey Arnold, which is about to premiere its final movie this friday over a decade after the end of the show. In that case, no matter how long the movie took, they knew for sure where the characters would be, and thus, where they could take them.

Which isn’t to say MLP: The Movie doesn’t do anything with the characters, far from it, but I think it’s also far from how deep it could’ve gone.

But then... that rounds back to the top, and how it compares to other animated movies in the eyes of general audiences, and how they might feel alienated, and we just keep going ‘round and ‘round in circles.

So, does any of that make it a bad story or a bad movie? No, certainly not! For fans, this is a moving character study and a celebration of a lot of the elements we love most from the show (meta humour, genuine heart, the works). The beats, as standard as they are, pretty much all work, save for maybe Grubber’s comic relief depending on your sense of humour.

But, you know, it’s funny to be left with the feeling that you just watched something incredible, that made you so happy you couldn’t believe it, only to have to admit it’s understandable that critics and even general audiences won’t feel the same way. But, that’s where I am.

Depends on the context.

Go check out Mr. Mikail’s review here! And Digikate’s reviews here (spoiler-free) and here (spoiler)! *Will be updated with links shortly

Year of the Pony

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the-desolated-quill · 7 years

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Iron Whitey, Doctor Yellowface And The Two Faced Critics Of Downtown Bollocksville - Quill's Scribbles

So... Didn’t see that one coming.

The upcoming Marvel Netflix TV show Iron Fist has received quite a pummelling from critics in early reviews. Most of the criticism centres around how slow and boring it apparently is, but others focus on the show’s controversial casting of Finn Jones in the title role and the ripple effects caused by it.

The Verge says that the show fails in a number of ways in regards to diversity, representation and appropriation, saying it’s hard to decouple the character’s whiteness from his elevated position.

Filmink.com says that the casting of an Asian American actor in the role would have helped to give the show its own identity.

Uproxx describes Finn Jones as being miscast, coming across as ‘a befuddled surfer who wandered into the middle of a kung fu movie’.

Nerdist.com describes Iron Fist as illuminating where the industry still flounders regarding racial stereotypes and representation in media.

Variety questions why Marvel didn’t cast an actor of Asian descent in the role and accuses the show of cultural appropriation.

IGN.com remarks upon the controversy of the rich white guy finding enlightenment in the mysterious Far East trope.

At the moment I’m typing this, Iron Fist has a rating on Rotten Tomatoes (and this is true) of 0%.

Yep. Iron Fist looks set to be the worst thing ever to come out of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But on the plus side, it means the DCEU fandom can finally drop the Marvel Bias bullshit. See guys! The critics do say mean shit about Marvel! Are we finally ready to face reality and accept the fact that the critics talk shit about DC because they just don’t like your movies?

Now look. I’m not here to gloat. In fact kind of the opposite. A few people have been wondering why I haven’t been giving Iron Fist a hard time like I have been with Doctor Strange (which I’ve described numerous times as being objectively more racist than its source material). Well the reason is because Iron Fist hasn’t actually done anything wrong as far as I can see at this moment in time.

With Doctor Strange, Marvel whitewashed a prominent Asian character and stripped the story of its Asian culture and influences before blatantly lying to our faces to justify their shitty behaviour, painting themselves as the unfortunate victims of political correctness in a pathetic attempt to cover their own arses. They essentially took an already racist comic book, made it even more racist and then effectively told us to eat shit and deal with it. What have Iron Fist done that we know of? They’ve cast a white actor as a white character. Now yes it would have been great if they cast an Asian actor in the role and I was very disappointed like everyone else, but at the end of the day, it’s their choice. They’re not in any way obliged to racebend a character. If they want to cast a white actor as a white character, they have every right to do that. The burden is now on them to make sure the show doesn't fall into the same traps as the comics did (the mighty whitey trope and Asian stereotyping). These reviews aren’t exactly filling me with confidence, but as ever I will reserve judgement until I’ve seen it for myself.

I’m not here to comment on whether Iron Fist deserves the negative reception its received. It could be a racist piece of shit for all I know. What I am here to talk about is the hypocrisy of the people criticising it. See if Iron Fist does turn out to be racist, it would be more down to ignorance rather than malice. The show has at least made an effort to cast Asian actors as Asian characters and has retained some of its Asian influences. The showrunner has also stated on the record that he’s aware of the problems with the comics and will do his best to correct them in the show. They’re clearly making a conscious effort not to offend people. What these reviews merely demonstrate is that pride cometh before a fall. The writers and showrunner thought they could do an Iron Fist TV series with a white lead that wasn’t racist and they apparently failed in spectacular fashion. The response should be less moral outrage and more of an indignant ‘I told you so’.

Basically what I’m saying is if you’re morally outraged by Iron Fist, you should be doubly outraged by Doctor Strange, whose crimes are demonstrably worse. At least the makers of Iron Fist were upfront about their intentions. At least they tried to respect the Asian community with their promises of avoiding the white saviour trope (whether they succeeded or not is another matter altogether). At least they didn’t whitewash any Asian characters or homogenise the culture they’re representing. In the MCU setup, Iron Fist is merely the problem child. Doctor Strange is the true villain that deserves our bile and hatred. The people who made Doctor Strange knew what they were doing was wrong, and yet they did it anyway.

So, based on a hunch, I decided to look into what those websites I listed above said about Doctor Strange. Because if they’re fuming about Iron Fist so much and thought that was racially insensitive, they should be set to explode by what Doctor Strange did, right? Well...

The Verge remains consistent, describing the casting of Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One as cultural whitewashing. The criticism for Iron Fist seems far harsher however.

Filmink.com doesn’t even mention the whitewashing and describes the film as exciting, entertaining, goofy and fun.

The Doctor Strange review on Uproxx doesn’t mention the whitewashing neither (nor even anything of substance), but there is another article talking about how dislikable Doctor Strange is as a character and that gives a passing mention to the whitewashing of the Ancient One and the mighty whitey trope.

Nerdist.com mentions the whitewashing, but doesn’t in any way condemn it. Instead praising Tilda Swinton for her performance and giving the filmmakers a figurative slap on the wrist for being naughty boys.

Variety heavily praises Tilda Swinton’s performance, dismissing the whitewashing controversy saying that they wish Swinton was the lead character.

IGN.com also dismisses the controversy saying that Swinton has a unique and ethereal presence, playing a serene and oh so powerful character.

Funny how they’re willing to label Iron Fist as racially insensitive as one of the reasons why they don’t like it, but with something like Doctor Strange, a film they either loved or were mildly indifferent to, they’re suddenly willing to turn a blind eye to its undeniable racism as though that suddenly isn’t relevant to the discussion. Talk about inconsistent.

I guess what I’m building up to is this. If you’re one of those critics who’s bashing Iron Fist for being racist and appropriating another culture and yet described the casting of a white woman as the Ancient One as being ‘subversive’ and ‘a massive step forward for female representation in films’, you can officially go and fuck yourselves. Same goes to all those people saying they’re going to boycott Iron Fist and yet for some reason had no problem paying money to watch Doctor Yellowface. Yeah, you can go fuck yourselves too. Who would have thought visual effects were all that’s needed to buy your loyalty (because that’s all I ever see praised about Doctor Strange. The visual effects. Not the story or the characters. Just the visual effects. It’s basically the cinematic equivalent of dangling your keys in front of a toddler’s face). I’m surprised you can even show your face here. If you’re mouthing off about Iron Fist (which could very well be deserved from what I’ve heard) and yet remained silent when Doctor Strange came along with its racism so obvious it might as well have had a big neon sign over it saying ‘Fuck You Asians’, go sit in the corner and don’t come back until you’ve grown some backbone, you hypocritical arsewipe.

...

Yeah. I don’t know how to end this, so... Go away.

#iron fist #anti doctor strange #marvel cinematic universe #quill's scribbles

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comicteaparty · 6 years

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October 4th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on October 4th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Finding Home by Hari.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Finding Home by Hari~! (https://tapas.io/series/FindingHome)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

keii4ii

I don't know if this counts as a "scene," but I really liked seeing the flowers bloom on Chepi from his emotions.

Superjustinbros

Aww~

Also hello there!

RebelVampire

yeah i thought that was a really interesting and unique detail. but also felt kind of sorry for chepi cause i mean, thats a dead give away youre feeling an emotion. cannot hide anything. cannot be a tsundere that says its not like i like you or anything

hi SJ~!

Superjustinbros

Thanks for the welcome, Rebel~

keii4ii

I wonder if it's possible to lie with the flowers, like how some people are able to fake tears/ blushing/ etc when they're an exceptionally good actor/liar? Probably not the case with Chepi, though

Superjustinbros

Maybe, or each mood gets represented by different kinds of flowers

RebelVampire

yeah i dont forsee chepi being the best liar persay. but maybe. and tbf have we seen any other dryad do it? this may be a unique feature of chepi because chepi has a unique situation

Superjustinbros

Maybe

RebelVampire

my favorite scene is the one where chepi speads to a bug and janek is like what. but chepi doesnt register that its not the language thing but the fact hes talking to a bug.

i also like in that scene how real the convo was. where janek sounds unintentionally ignorant and kind of racist, but not out of malicious intent. just out of the fact janek never really thought about it before.

keii4ii

Yeah, there's been quite a few examples of non-malicious ignorance

as well as other kinds of misunderstandings

I'm really curious about how they met. This seems to be a relatively new relationship, as in they weren't like... longtime friends or anything, so the beginning of it may still have a lot of relevance

mathtans

Made it. That was a real interesting way to get across some of the language stuff for the universe too, I thought.

RebelVampire

yeah ive been wondering that myself. how the two even met up in the first place. although it seems like they had some form of acquaintanceship

mathtans

A lot of their conversations are pretty realistic.

Seems like they just met because the chef was trying to get home?

RebelVampire

yeah it could be as simple as they were in the same town. chepi was like "i like helping ppl i will help this person"

cause chepi is a good dude

who does good dude things

except for the part where he jeapordizes his own health

thats a bad dude thing

mathtans

Yeah, he's had a rough go of it.

keii4ii

There's probably a little more to that, or at least that's the impression I get

I mean, it seemed like he wanted Janek's company for personal reasons too, even if they weren't Compelling Super Important Goals

Superjustinbros

Christ, definitely not a good thing

The jeopardizing your health part

mathtans

One of the scenes I particularly liked was early on. Where the one guy was "filling the silence" by talking a lot. It was an interesting visual in how it was laid out, and I've been on both sides of that... wanting to fill what I feel is an awkward silence as well as just wanting to enjoy stillness.

There might be a little more to it, but I'm not certain either of them are keen to acknowledge it.

keii4ii

Weird. I started reading this comic when it was still pretty new, and this scene I remember reading isn't there anymore. O_o

I wonder if it was deleted because of not fitting with the creator's vision anymore, because the impression I got from that scene was rather different

RebelVampire

that could be. i think a print volume was kickstartered and that is generally the time when heavy editing occurs

mathtans

Oh? You mean the flower blooming one? Because I remember seeing that...

I also looked at the holiday bonus that was linked away, incidentally. The mistletoe one. That was amusing and touching.

RebelVampire

i also liked that scene too, math. the one with the silence filling. but more than that i really appreciate the understanding that happened between the two. in that chepi didnt mind janek was busy rambling on and on and on. cause i understood how janek felt in feeling awkward about filling the silence too

keii4ii

No, I remember this scene where one of them is talking to some soldiers?

mathtans

Rebel: Right, that aspect of it helped it to stand out for me, I think. One of those times they had an understanding, almost unspoken.

keii4ii

(I could be remembering it wrong )

mathtans

In a flashback, I guess...?

RebelVampire

yeah i dont remember any scene with soldiers. it couldve been an extra of some sort? cause i generally dont look at extras

keii4ii

Yeah, it's not there. I might be mixing things up, unless the comic was rebooted at some point

RebelVampire

thats okay. i like to think its opportunity to speculate

cause there probably is something more

cause despite saying it, even i find it more believable there was something else going on besides chepi is a good dude

QUESTION 2. Throughout the comic, Chepi is shown to be a somewhat anxious person due to past experiences. How do you think Chepi came to be born in the first place? Do you think it has anything to do with why Chepi was encouraged to not like humans? What do you think happened exactly between Chepi and Ishaan that made the relationship have such a traumatic impact on Chepi? Do you think it was a bad relationship from the start, or do you think there were genuine, mutual feelings at the beginning? Do you think the person helping Chepi to publish his works is really altruistic, or is said person just out for their own gain? Lastly, do you think Chepi will be able to overcome all his trauma (and will Janek help or hurt these personal issues)?

keii4ii

TBH I've seen zero reasons to trust that dude

mathtans

Which one?

Superjustinbros

The publisher?

RebelVampire

idk how i feel about ishaan. i wanna give ishaan the benefit of the doubt at least for the beginning of the relationship. but even when ishaan was being all impressed by chepi i got sleezy impressions.

mathtans

As far as Chepi being born... fun fact, in the prologue, at first I thought maybe we were seeing Chepi's father. And, like, he was born of two guys or something, like that's the only way to get a mixed race type.

RebelVampire

LOL. well i mean, not impossible. we are dealing with fae and such.

mathtans

Ishaan's that smoking guy in the flashbacks...? (I'm so bad with names.) I figure there had to be something initially other than "here's an easy mark". But it morphed into something else. Also, profound effect due to his first romantic rejection, that's gotta hurt more than being rejected from the university (and even being shunned in the library).

RebelVampire

yes smoking guy who chepi dated is ishaan

i wanna say that maybe ishaan didnt start with bad intentions. but i also think he might have been attracted to chepi for the novelty of it. cause then he could brag to all his friends about his cool significant other

granted not sure if that logic matches up with the fact ishaan wanted chepi to look more human

so it could be the exact opposite in that ishaan genuinely liked chepi but did not like chepi was half dryad. and ishaan dealt with that in the most toxic way possible

mathtans

Except I don't think he could brag either, as his friends would say he was hanging around with a weirdo freak.

That last theory possibly works.

keii4ii

I get the impression that even if he was genuinely attracted to Chepi, he was always the type of a guy who manipulates and gaslights people whenever given the opportunity

mathtans

keii: There is that. Guy should just get his own oranges.

RebelVampire

i get the impression that ishaan is used to just getting what he wants and is some spoiled rich guy or something. so yeah, manipulation and gaslighting very probable

although i also dont trust the person chepi is using as a cover to publish his papers

that person rubs be the wrong way

cause the convo just seemed really manipulative

mathtans

That's kind of funny though, because Chepi is also a rich guy who prefers to do his own thing. Maybe that's partly why they ended up together.

I'm okay with her (I think it was a her). True that they might be getting more out of the arrangement, but I think it comes from a good place. Also, Chepi has access to the basement books, which seems like a decent thing to do.

Also, I want a backpack like that. O.o

RebelVampire

yeah at the end they havent done anything evil yet. so i could be be overly suspicious. but chepi sure is getting the short end of the stick and it makes me sad and hurts my poor heart

mathtans

He does, yeah. I think he's kind of closed himself off in order to deal with it.

Superjustinbros

That seems reasonable

RebelVampire

i do think chepi is gonna learn to deal with his trauma better. cause i mean hes already taking those critical first steps of talking about the problem a bit. not all the way, but hes said more than he probably would have previously

keii4ii

Yes

mathtans

I wonder if he'll manage to deal with his crowds situation too. (I know that feeling, though not to the extent of being triggered or anything.)

RebelVampire

the crowds one may take more time ironically imo. just because the issue behind that is harder to fix. since even if chepi was like "lets go cold turkey into a crowd," it is more likely his fears will get reaffirmed

Superjustinbros

Perhaps.

Seems like a fear that’s hard to remove anyways

mathtans

Yes, though he's got the travelling companion now, so small steps.

RebelVampire

yeah although that may forever be his comfort level. and i dont blame him for that cause he may just be an introvert who prefers setups like that. cause even with the dryads he seemed very much a soloist

mathtans

True.

Superjustinbros

Same.

mathtans

Also means less making demands on him.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Janek and Chepi grow ever closer throughout their journey, though some issues seem to get between the two. Do you think the relationship between the two will ever become something more, or will trauma and other issues continue to get in the way? Even if they do become romantically involved, do you think it would work out? What about when the two reach Erkesh? Will their relationship last (whether romantically or as friends) even then? Or, will Chepi simply move on to his next destination? For that matter, do you think the two will even make it to Erkesh? Additionally, given the title of the comic is “Finding Home,” what do you think that means for each character and their personal journeys? In other words, what is “home?”

Superjustinbros

There's people that struggle lots with groups

mathtans

(Ones he'd be inclined to help with.)

I feel like they're building towards a relationship, a healing one, so I'd be a bit surprised if that doesn't happen. There'll still be bumps along the way though, for sure.

Like, they keep finding out things about each other that alter their perceptions.

Superjustinbros

Yea

mathtans

Also, home is where the heart is?

RebelVampire

part of me would be surprised if they dont cross that threshold from friends to something more. cause they keep bonding and the chemistry is super strong. but on the otherhand, this comic feels a lot like a journey wherein i feel the destination is gonna throw me a bit. so i could also see them not being able to. or ya know, there being a dramatic fakeout where chepi leaves janek in erkesh but then comes back being like "what was i thinking"

keii4ii

I feel that it's not about forming a relationship (though that's a strong possibility). It's about finding "home" and if both of them grow and reach a point where they simply become more comfortable with the self, separately, I can see them going separate ways too...

mathtans

I suppose that could happen (the fakeout), but really rooting for Chepi to have a happy ending. Versus, saying, dying in Janek's arms while saying "I'm finally happy".

keii4ii

omg

mathtans

I can see them going separate ways, but somehow not before being intimate. Could be the shipper in me.

RebelVampire

well tbf the comic is genred romance so...

mathtans

Chepi might totally sacrifice himself to deal Janek though.

RebelVampire

theres kind of high expectations here for some romance

mathtans

(Speaking of, I like his dry sense of humour... "come down from there, it would be a pain to heal every bone in your body" or words to that effect.)

RebelVampire

im gonna hope this comic doesnt go chepi death route. mostly cause despite its serious issues, its a pretty light-hearted comic.

keii4ii

It's got very gentle, soft vibes

Superjustinbros

Not every comic needs death

mathtans

I don't know if I'd say light-hearted? It has chuckle moments to be sure.

My opinion, anyway. Yes, vibes.

RebelVampire

imo the sense of home in this comic's case is a place where you feel comfortable and can be yourself. and if that place happens to be wherever another person is, well then...

yeah light-hearted might not be the right word but on 3 hours of sleep its the word i got O_O

mathtans

Home is where the wisps aren't.

I feel you, I only got about 4 hours sleep.

RebelVampire

i will also accept that answer. home is where the wisps arent

cause those wisps are creepy

now if there is tragedy in this comic, the thing i could see happening is they get to erkesh....but erkesh isnt there anymore

and janek has nowhere to go

home is gone

very sad

ah i forgot to say i do like chepi's dry sense of humor. partly cause i like that he has a sense of humor despite seeming so serious all the time

Superjustinbros

r.i.p. home

mathtans

Ooooh. I could see that too, that the wisps have destroyed the old home. That might be bittersweet.

His sense of humour sometimes flies a bit under the radar for me. Like, when he talked about studying since he was a baby I was like, 'dryads do that?' then I realized I was a species-ist.

RebelVampire

yeah i have to agree that sometimes it takes a moment for chepi's jokes to register as jokes. but then i have a good laugh.

mathtans

Because there's times when he's not, like when he's just going for a swim and all.

The hair discussion was pretty interesting though. It's funny, in a way growing the hair out long seemed like an emotional, human thing to do, and the guy had been trying to get Chepi to be more human.

RebelVampire

yeah i liked this little act of rebellion for chepi. cause i mean it feels really realistic too. because lots of ppl getting out of bad relationships do trivial things like this, even though for them the emotional impact is significant

i really liked the swimming scene in general though

cause i think something about it really illustrated the individual diffs between janek and chepi

and how both their selves and upbringings brought about different attitudes

QUESTION 4. Though not the focus, the comic’s world has a lot of interesting aspects that affect the characters. Do you think things will improve for Fae within the world, or will Chepi always suffer from negative policies and views from both sides? Do you think spending time with Janek will give Chepi new insight into how he can better help people? Alternatively, will spending time with Janek show Chepi a way to convince more Fae to help mortals? Speaking of the supernatural, do you think the Wisps will continue to be a danger to Janek and Chepi? Do you think the amount of Wisps about is normal, or do you feel it’s foreshadowing something sinister is about? Finally, Chepi at one point mentions a magical surge that has been growing. How might this affect the world in general, and do you think Chepi will be the one to figure out what’s going on?

mathtans

Yeah, definitely from two different worlds.

Oh yeah, the magical surge... maybe that does explain the wisps too? And if that map he found is really old, maybe it's all happened before, like decades ago, and it stopped surging after the Imperials lost or something.

Superjustinbros

I'd say maybe a mixture of both? Things will improve, but our protagonists will slowly encounter new problems.(edited)

RebelVampire

true, the world is rarely ever perma fixed.

the magical surge really has me interested because something about it was so ominous

mostly the abandoned house

and cause it made me suspicious that besides the destroyed village they really havent come across any form of civilization

or other ppl

what if theyre in some time paradox in the future and the world is destroyed

mathtans

So it becomes about fleeing to another realm, which was foreshadowed in that talk about whether Chepi even could.(edited)

RebelVampire

i dont remember this convo but im gonna gasp anyway

Superjustinbros

Paradoxes why must you exist

RebelVampire

idk. it just felt like something suspicious was going on. and i do feel the wisp situation has an abnormal quality to it. at the very least i dont think they go around village destroying on the regular

mathtans

He said they were old too, right? Could be relevant... Chopi's mom was over 200 or something...

It's interesting how we're gradually learning more about the world, including the urban centres, while we're pretty far removed from them. Incidentally, I think Janek would be dead a few times over if not for his friend, what with wisps and poison mushrooms and no map.

RebelVampire

yeah. like i wonder what janek intended to do if chepi hadnt offered to guide the way. would janek just be stuck at wherever theyre traveling from?

but yeah i really like how the world is being told in the story

because its never in a way thats separate from teh characters

if its being told, its somehow relavent to how the world has effected them

mathtans

Maybe he'd have to have taken public transit.

Yeah, it's all connected. But the characters have their own families and backstories thought out, like Janek's sister.

RebelVampire

LOL chepi and janek take forest route, but then the whole time theres like an express train system that couldve had janek to erkesh in an hour

that would be hilarious

very unfitting

but hilarious

Superjustinbros

lol

mathtans

"We built it a couple days after you left."

RebelVampire

back to the question, i dont think anything chepi or janek will do will actually improve relationships between humans and fae. because theyre just kind of two people...wandering a forest. so for the moment they cant make that big a world impact.

unless theyre the last two ppl in the world

mathtans

There were imperial forces and everything though, I wonder what sort of technology level their warfare was.

RebelVampire

then relations improved

mathtans

Yeah, prejudice like that is pretty deep seated. Can only change individuals on the travels, I think.

Unless the magic surge helps others to feel the emotions Chepi has.

Like, "oh crud, that's what we've driven you to?"

RebelVampire

yeah. cause at the end magical surge is pretty vague. although imo a magical surge could be detrimental to humans and actually shrink their territory. because the magical surge could be why the wisps be destroying villages

mathtans

Shrink their "territory".

Magical surge is like cold water.

RebelVampire

oh dear

since there are only some moments, i want to take this chance to talk about the illustrations. because its a sad thing they havent been mentioned because the illustrations are really gorgeous. like nature is a hard thing to draw, but here this comic just puts it everywhere O_O

Superjustinbros

Can I have some of that surge? It's super warm here lol(edited)

RebelVampire

everywhere

mathtans

Yes, that's a great point. One of those things that would stand out if it was done wrong, the comic gets it very right.

Also, that whole thing with the flowers connecting to moods, that's kind of amazing. I didn't know that was a thing.

Superjustinbros

I'd love to see more of that

RebelVampire

yeah. like the flora in general is used in a very interesting way in the comic. because usually whats shown helps emphasis the tone and atmosphere of the scenes.

and honestly i give points to any comic that doesnt shy from the backgrounds

mathtans

That's a good point. I'm not great at noticing those sorts of details.

Superjustinbros

mathtans

The output's been pretty consistent for that too... like, 100 pages in less than two years?

I couldn't manage that.

Superjustinbros

Anyways, good luck with the comic, Hari, you're putting together something really magical here.(edited)

RebelVampireToday at 6:59 PM

yeah. although even if the pages took longer i wouldnt mind it. the backgrounds are honestly worth it because i feel theyre integral to showcasing the world at this point

mathtans

Yup, best with it!

Also the romance.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Hari, as well, for making Finding Home. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Hari’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/FindingHome

Hari’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/haridraws

Hari’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/haridraws

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Four Corners by Boniae. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, October 11th, from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://fourcorners.smackjeeves.com/

Comic’s Tapas Mirror: https://tapas.io/series/four-corners

Comic’s LINE Webtoon Mirror: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/four-corners/list?title_no=28768

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indiecomics #comic tea party #ctp #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #finding home #hari

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