#idk how i feel about this but it'll do for now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawberry-crocodile · 1 day

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you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but as a trans person what did you do about it after you found out? idk what your family situation is but ive known i was trans for awhile, and with my living situation and parental relationship i don’t know how to go about hrt while trying to keep it a secret yk?

i spent about a year or two in the closet and another year before starting hrt and starting to actually transition. some people go faster, some slower! pace yourself and don't feel bad for where you're at.

as for stuff you can do NOW, accessorizing can help, and hopefully you have a friend group you can share this with! if they're cool, they'll start supporting you and it'll feel amazing. if you want, you can start thinking about names and pronouns at this point too, since that's something easy.

if you're a minor, just be careful with your parents- i don't know you and i don't know them, but only come out to them if you know it would be safe. you do not owe them that information.

#blogodile

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angstics · 1 day

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there’s 2 nights at wwwy though so the real question is do you think both will be masc and if not what will the other be

NOW we're cooking. idk if i posted this but either way at first i thought the wwwy3 2022 outfit was randomly timed. but considering it's probably an old film star, that aligns pretty well thematically with the previous night's old ROCK star. so this year's numbers, if they happen, could be tied together. and both last time were pretty masc ? though one could argue they were both drag, since they accentuated the gendered and camp aspects of both. god it's so wonderful im smiling so hard thinking about it. forgot how much i loved my chemical romance.

anyway i cant really predict much. we dont even know what these shows will be .. it'll be 1.5 years since the last show so i cant say the vision will stay the same. however considering you can easily connect every single thing gerard way has done over the last 22 years .. im confident we will have something to say.

personally i think it'll be a mix of gendered performance. i found last tour so interesting because it wasnt pure feminine pure masculine, even pure androgyny. and i feel that was intentional. im thinking about this post on the skirt suit by callie

#ask #mcr

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holysent · 8 months

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curse , bless me now with your fierce tears , i PRAY ; do not go gentle into that good night . rage , RAGE against the dying of the light . /// private && selective AZIRAPHALE from GOOD OMENS ! worshipped by kori . ( template © )

#.⁫ ⁫☆ ⁫𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 . ⁫╱ ⁫promos .#idk how i feel about this but it'll do for now #reblogs are appreciated <3 #personals dni #aziraphale rp #good omens rp #gomens rp #supernatural rp

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moonchild-in-blue · 6 days

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Oh.

#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them #and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual #and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it #i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha #it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing #that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before #my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up #is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop #and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it #maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but #man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc #idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later #probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void #anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself

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fluffle-writes · 2 days

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I wanna. Pick them up in my mouth and shake 'em around like a dog obliterating a squeaky toy

#you can tag anyone you feel this way about but I was thinking about Rook hunt in particular #tbh I feel like he'd picture the same - just with Vil and Neige #he wanta his oshis to be besties (he is just lime me fr) (just a liiiittle furyher frim reality)#(I view neigexVil as nore of a crackship until we get more Neige development/lore)#(our queen Vil doesn't deserve to be genuinely shipped with someone who's kinda 2D rn.#But I respect people who flesh out neige with headcanons - they write the dynamics realy well tbh)#(hopefully we get more RSA development at some point I think that'd be cool)#(plus I'd cry if TWST just. stopped. after the last NRC OB)#(I mean it'd make sense aince that's where the story is based and it'll probably end once Yuu finds a way home #- which feels close now thanks to Ortho)#(But at the same time I. have been following this since it first came out when I was about 16 - same age as the first year squad lol)#(and I feel like it'd feel weird if we stopped getting main story updates)#(Im rambling a LOT lol - probably because I'm tipsy haha)#(hope someone can relate to my lamenting of future woes though)#(Oh well - I should atop borrowing sorrow from the future and live joyfully with the now)#(I do miss my friends who've stopped being in the fandom though - and my friends who deactivated and idk how to contact now)#(sugarandmelody... zacrazyvalentine... I miss them. but we had fun #writing and stuff. and I suppose that's what matters in the end. that we had fun.)#at least - I hope they had fun too. and I kinda hope they think about me how I think of them sometimes.#have a nice day if you're reading this. I rambled in the tags a while and I understand that it's kinda long lol.#and probably riddled with typos #I'm tearing up for some reason haha. well it is what it is #I hope each and every one of my followers know how amazing they are - I hope y'all have a wonderful day - evening - or night #I wish I could hug people across the internet lol #I should stop posting on tumblr while drinky haha #tw drunk #tw drinking #i'll tag it just in case #don't wanna cause discomfort and stuff

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pandora15 · 7 months

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hm

I wonder if I'm getting a bit sick of star wars

like there are the things that make me happy about it, especially obi-wan and the prequels and tcw but also like

I'm frustrated about what they did with ahsoka, and then I'm also just not finding fic that I can vibe with and the fandom just feels so…empty?

which is wild because it's definitely got bigger since I joined, but idk, it just feels like in the obi-wan fandom circles, it just feels like it's shrinking. and I think part of it is everyone being really busy with irl things (myself included) and then whatever is left in the sw fandom in general is just stuff i don't vibe with

but then I keep seeing it over and over and over again so now it's just irritating to me

like. yeah there are ships/tropes that I don't vibe with at all and I usually try to steer clear of them when looking for fic to read, but these days it feels like that's all I can find. so now I'm frustrated and tired and not really getting the fic fix that I want

and normally my solution to this is to just write what I want to read, but I don't have the mental space to do it, so I'm just. stuck.

a part of me feels bad to complain about this, but idk I'm gonna put it out there anyways. it's just like the fandom feels completely different than it did when I first joined, or even like 2-3 years ago, and I'm not sure if I'm happy about it.

#i think a lot of this also has to do with being firmly in the post kenobi show era and trying to figure out how to move on from that #like i don't feel much excitement for any upcoming sw content now #that might change depending on what they announce yet but. idk the ahsoka series really put me off #like idk if i'll continue watching mandoverse stuff. kinda feel like i'm done with that stuff #i'll definitely watch andor s2 and i'll definitely play the third jedi game #and then when it comes to fic i think it'll help once i have the brainspace to write #but i feel like i'm right about finding fic to read #which to be clear is no one's fault exactly #people are gonna write what they wanna write and they SHOULD #but as a reader i'm also gonna read what i feel would appeal to me most #and right now it's very difficult to find anything that does #even when it doesn't feel like i have a lot of things that i'm looking for maybe i am? without realizing it at least #idk #anyways #i have a weird relationship with sw. moral of the story #pandora's ramblings

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the-gayest-sky-kid · 1 year

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one thing they dont tell you abt not expecting to make it to this point is how it fucks up your plans for the foreseeable future

#sorry for getting depressing i just need it out because i dont want to talk with my therapist about it yet and i cant tell my mom #but like.... i was never expecting to make it to my birthday. for the the lasr #2?#maybe even 3 years #especially last year and now and like #now its like 2 months away and i. dont know what i want again #we just go to ihop because my sister likes it #like i tried to get ideas with my mom and i. dont have any #i cant do anything i used to think was fun and i dont have anything i. Want now #i can do presents. just give me a budget and i can work that out #but fucking. plans? i just. i just. i dont want anything. nothing seems special or important anymore #it all feels like another day. and i just. god i dont even know what cake i want.#can i even have cake? it'll just give me a headache anyway #and like..i guess its in part to how i can barely visualize anything in the future nowadays #i cant be happy for something a month ahead anymore. not even something in a week #and i just. god #personal posts and stuff idk #aethers rants #cw vent #tw vent #cw sui ideation #alluded to. i guess

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12freddofrogs · 6 months

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Very weird to be in that stage where a show is grabbing hold of your brain, but you haven't finished the show so you cant interact with fandom because spoilers, and you're watching it with someone else so you can't even just keep watching until you finish

#i am enjoying watching it with a friend and tbh having an assigned 'we'll watch it now' time is prob my best chance of finishing #on my own steam i'll probably burn out in s4 or something as per usual #but like its - i figured it would be a fun little zombie supernatural detective type thing #i thought it would be fun but was not expecting to start brainstorming fanfic ideas #granted who knows in advance what shows are going to be blorbos #but like! the charismastic asshole villain has amnesia! everyone is aware he has amnesia and are just kinda like #'we kinda pity you but you still suck'#and when he's just like 'okay?? why??' they were more than happy to give him an overview of the past two seasons #so now he's just like 'oh. okay. i. guess i am a serial killer that i cant remember. how do i deal with that?'#and idk how its going to end but i have a half-drafted plot of him getting his memories back steadily and is just like #'you know i didnt feel bad about it while doing it #but if you want to get some persepctive on your life develop amnesia and look at it from purely objective standpoint.'#or other plots like the time the love interest got arrested abd was being very very concerned about potentially starting an apocalypse #he didnt want to! he desperately didnt want to! but it was a risk #but yeah if i open a fanfic it'll probably say 'oh so how X died in the series finale' or something #and then i'll just have to accept X is dead

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byanyan · 27 days

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got a brand new weighted blanket today so i'm taking it for a test drive rn to soothe my anxiety as i finally crack my laptop open for the first time since sunday

#for some reason i've been. afraid. to try writing anything while i'm in this... weird state.#i've been afraid to do a lot of my usual things??#hard to explain. i think i'm afraid i suddenly won't enjoy it or smth. and i haven't wanted to ruin the few good things i have lmao #god but this whole week has been fucking weird as hell dude idk how to explain any of how i've been feeling #other than like. you know how when ur sick and things don't feel normal? but it's okay bc u know it'll only be a few days #before ur feeing better & things are back to where they usually are?#it's been like that except there's been no reassurance of 'i'll feel better & back to normal in a few days'#just this dread of things perpetually feeling Off and Not Right with no end date in sight #......fortunately things have slowly been getting less terrible. it kinda comes & goes in waves now #ANYWAY sorry to keep ooc posting... typing it out really does just help me process & get some of it off my chest lmao #gonna. try to eat some lunch quick & then hopefully see about poking those text prompts ♡#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.#personal cw

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astriiformes · 1 year

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#really genuinely disheartened by the news about the latest toh ep leaking weeks before it was supposed to premiere #because like i would never watch an episode early when it's not what the creators want. that's a terrible thing to do #but it seems like a lot of other people just do not care #and so instead i have to just sort of. lock myself out of the fandom for a while #which given how few things i have to get excited about these days.... eurgh #i was really excited about the timing of this one; it's right after tlovm comes back and right around the time the semester starts #and i'm sure it'll be fun to watch when it actually comes out but #not the same as the whole fandom being hyped about it #which for the penultimate episode of a show that was cancelled early? sucks #and i hate how many people seem to not care or think it's okay to watch the leaked episode just because other people are doing it #like i don't hang out in fandom tags fortunately (for many good reasons)#but going 'well. guess i have to avoid ao3 or checking out new followers' blogs' and things like that is :/#even the little fanwork discord server i'm in that i usually feel like is a nice space has folks that just... don't seem to care #and i like that space a lot but i'm considering muting it which makes me sad #i just don't get how people could be so disrespectful to the folks creating stories they love. that's awful #idk. guess i'm glad i have other fiction to care about right now #anyways! that's me done being sad about something relatively silly!#but :/

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girlscience · 3 months

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boy howdy, I am working myself into a full panic over this. if I get an hour of sleep tonight it will be a miracle.

#like this is an INTERVIEW. do you know how many job interviews I have had in my life????#compared to how many jobs I have had???????#I GOT REJECTED BY WALGREENS FOR CHRISTS SAKE #I just. this man is holding my entire plan for my future right now in his hands #if he doesn't want me. If he decides I wouldn't be good in his lab I don't know what I'll do #like yeah yeah life will keep going and the world will keep turning and stuff #but I am not joking I will be devastated. and then I will have to TELL people about it #and like I still have yet to hear back from the other school and none of the professors there have talked to me #so idk if I could do what I want to there either (they do have the classes I want so I'm assuming one of the professors does what I want)#and everyone keeps saying it'll be fine and I'll do good and anyone would want me in their lab #but I DONT THINK IM IMPRESSIVE. I compare myself to other scientists and eh. I don't measure up #like sure I have good bench skills and I can learn pretty much anything you set me to #but I don't know how to come up with research proposals #I don't know how to ask good questions about papers I read #I don't have good ideas for further research #like. I did library prep at work for 3 years and we recently hired someone who has more or less taken it over #and he actually understands and talks about the actual molecular processes in a way I never learned #idk I just feel like yeah I'm good at science. but I'm good because I'm good at following directions #I am not actually inovative or creative or increasing understanding #point is I am stressed and people keep telling me not to be but I don't believe them and I am scared that I have got myself too excited #and I am about to be let down very hard very fast #and I don't really have any safety nets in place if it doesn't work out

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stabbingandorbeingstabbed · 11 months

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i need to run away from home i need to move to a city and meet people who get it and i need to get my tits cut off for realsies this time like i've had enough actually. for the love of god

#my parents are being kind enough to pay for sessions with a life coach bc im very stuck and not at all sure what to do #and the bad news is that it's a woman from my old church #but the good news is that i've always liked her and she's the most normal person there re: non-christians #like we have a relationship that goes back 15 years and i've never once felt judged by her like i love her #and had NO IDEA she did the whole life coach thing #so im hoping that once we start this it'll be the active hand holding i need to like. pull me out of the rut i've been stuck in for like #almost a decade now #gonna have to wait on even thinking abt top surg tho bc i cannot see my family being super supportive of THAT and like #idk how to go about looking into how to do that like my insurance covered my breast reduction #bc i was still on my moms really good insurance and it was deemed medically necessary for my quality of life or whatever #and im SO GLAD i did it but u know what would be even better ?? never feeling the need to put on a bra ever again in my life #anyways. right now at this moment nothing has like materially changed but i think i can feel Something shifting #but that might just be me having a little bit of hope for the first time in a while lmaoo. bleak !!

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steampoweredskeleton · 6 months

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