#bc i knew i was back at uni in a few months and at least i had music to listen to

[eggmeralda]

I may have lost all hope

#it's a weird feeling? #like since late 2022 it's been kind of like. bad vibes consistently #and i tried to stay somewhat positive throughout it #but idk there's this very distinct feeling now of like. i can't describe it but it's completely gone #like I've actually got nothing to live for #nothing I've done or wanted to do since i was 14 has ever really like amounted to anything #all the friends i made i never feel like i can talk to #once again in that state of 'only alive so my family don't get sad' #like even when i wanted to just stop existing when i was 21 there was this tiny bit of hope still there a little bit #like i remember for that whole summer i kept getting quick thoughts about suicide but I'd always push them out of my mind instantly #but there was one day where i let the thought stay in my mind for a little bit and like properly considered how i would do it #and then after a bit i was like FUCK and then went and walked like an hour away from my house to try and forget it #and then after that day i slowly got better. and it was annoying bc it meant now i had to walk a whole hour back to my house #but even if those 2 months there was still this feeling of this isn't gonna last #bc i knew i was back at uni in a few months and at least i had music to listen to #and all the other times I've been in that state there was still this sort of feeling that it'll get better bc I've got things to get me #through it #but it doesn't feel like that now. like no job no friends no hyperfixation and now i can't even enjoy any music #anything i create is pointless bc only i care about it #all my friends are busy doing other stuff I'm like not even second best I'm the most forgettable person anyone might know #the only thing that would fix me is getting a random train to like some place I've never been #just to see a new thing i guess #but anyway #ramble #suicide mention

[hella1975]

Hi, I followed you for your fic and I saw you had some posts about having ADHD.

I'm also ADHD, could you tell me about your writing process? I get stuck with things staying in the notes app and they don't really get past that stage.

I'm not sure if it's an interest thing, if the notes fulfill the want so there's no need to put it together. If you have anything thoughts about how to keep up the consistency for fic that'd be appreciated.

Hopefully this isn't too serious of a question, I just have some trouble with wanting to write but not having a purpose for it and I was wondering if that was a brain thing/relatable.

Thank you in advance for any response ☺️ also good luck with your uni stuff~

thank you anon! and dw this isn't too serious at all. i think it's interesting that you ask about keeping consistency bc ironically the biggest tell of my adhd in my writing is my INCONSISTENCY, as you can see with the way updates happen. i wrote 200k words of taob in one year and now i update twice a year on average. i wrote 60k words of tams within a few weeks and now it hasn't been updated since july. and these are just my public projects where i at least have the added pressure of knowing people are waiting for an update, you should see the state of some of my original wips! basically my point here is that my adhd is VERY apparent with my writing habits, but these days i work with it instead of trying to fight it. even before i knew i had adhd, i was aware that my writing came in periods. id go a few weeks churning out insane amounts daily and then dry up for months on end, and each time id enter the 'have i lost it??? will i ever write again???' spiral until low and behold, something would inspire me again and id be back to typing like a madman. i used to seriously fight my dry periods bc of that fear of 'losing' my writing, but that never helped and honestly turning writing into a need instead of a want probably made it worse.

it's one reason - aside the fact it is rude and annoying, i dont want to pretend it isn't or put the blame on me bc that's not what im saying here - that constant demands for fic updates bother me so much, bc people dont realise that the writing style i have now where yes we unfortunately go long times without updates is actually how my writing comes out at its best standard. so yeah! it can be incredibly frustrating and even scary to feel physically unable to write, but if it's something you like and want to do i do truly believe it'll always come back sooner or later, or at least that's my experience :)

#but if it is literally you cant get it out of the notes app i do also have writing sessions #where i sit myself down one day and go 'we are going to WRITE' (this is where all my coffee shop posting comes from #bc ive associated coffee shops so viscerally with writing now that if im in a particularly bad/long block i find a free day #and just sit and something about being in a coffee shop just. brings it out of me) #ive known this about myself long enough now to know which periods are just my normal dry ones #and which need that extra push but maybe learning to differentiate like that could help you? #see what happens if you give yourself some kind of target? like take one of your ideas in your notes #and literally treat it like an assignment like 'i want 500 words on this by friday' #EVEN IF IT'S BAD! i feel like that mental block even if it's subconscious is often what stops people #just treat it as something between you and the document. no one else is gonna see it. it could be the worst thing ever written #and nothing is gonna change bc of it. taking those kind of pressures off yourself makes INSANE amounts of difference #good luck! i hope even just one part of this was helpful but remember experiences with these things are individual #ask

[thedreadvampy]

like. and I am aware that this is a very middle class person whine. I really am. but there is a huge difference between degrees of middle class and I can simultaneously acknowledge my unearned privilege

(grew up financially stable, two car household, overseas holidays once a year, regular pocket money, financial support from my parents at uni, safety net when I needed it, the confidence and advantages that come from a financially stable and academic family. my mum and brother went to Oxford. my parents not only paid off their mortgage when I was a kid but both now own their own houses outright with savings left over. mum could afford to quit work at 32 when she had a breakdown and stay quit. money was often a consideration but there was never a time when we went hungry as kids or had to pick between food and bills. we all had our own bedrooms and our own computers growing up.)

simultaneously acknowledge that. and really get quite annoyed when people don't recognise that there's a difference between that and another sort of Middle Class

(went to public school. multiple holidays a year. parents own a large house outright in the Thames Valley. got their rent paid at uni as well as grocery money. parents underwrote their mortgage or part paid their rent in their early 20s and are in a position to do so indefinitely if needed. through childhood and students they knew very few people who weren't in a similar position.)

and it's petty. it is. we're all middle class and we all have unearned advantages over the majority of our peers because of it. but it's not the same experience.

and the only reason it bugs me. is that I have a lot of friends who are the second type of middle class. and that's not a knock on them, they're lovely, nor is it a claim they've Never Known Struggle bc a lot of them have been Through It in terms of abuse, disability, loss, etc. a lot of them have been through stuff I can't imagine.

but. of everyone I know this type of person. the like upper-middle solidly In The Middle Class Academic Culture type people. are far and away the most likely to just. not notice. that there's any space at all between their experience and Utter Poverty. like the least likely to notice that say yes being poor sucks and is terrifying but most people who can't pay for groceries don't also own their house outright. that like. to quote one example somebody unironically said to me when I was living on £6k a year in a flat where the rent was £3k, they are also in poverty bc they can't afford to fly to Germany multiple times a year.

and again. it's petty and it's a bad look on me. but I would really like to be able to acknowledge that I have a lot of advantages and privilege from a financially stable middle class upbringing without people lumping me in the exact same box as people who are. this very different I think flavour of middle class.

and I think this bc although I am middle class. although I am very lucky. when I was homeless. when I was unemployed and suicidal and kept getting my benefits claims put on hold and had no income for months at a time. I had savings. I had the support my parents could give (£50 a week for food and bills). I had parents able and willing to help where they could. but they could not have bought me a house. they could not have paid my rent. they kept me from starving and I am very grateful but that's what they could do. I could not live off them.

and if you need that kind of help and it's available and safe to get enough to get you back on your feet you should absolutely fucking take it! that's not a moral judgement! there's no moral worth in suffering needlessly!

but. I was phenomenally lucky to have parents who could spot me £50 a week and occasional partial rent arrears. I know how lucky I am to have a safety net and a strong durable starting point. and a lot of people with a much sturdier safety net don't seem to know that it's not there for everyone. and the degree to which even I as someone who's very used to thinking of myself as the Rich Kid am just. utterly knocked off balance by the ways life's made easier on a financial and cultural (if not familial) level by that step up from Solidly Financially Stable to Two Houses And Change.

it's all. very relative. obviously. and it's small potatoes compared to the gulf between either of us and, again, the majority of people's upbringing. it's a gripe not a major injustice. but sometimes it's hard not to be like. We Are Not The Same.

#red said

[transguyjesus]

4 years on Testosterone

Oof, its been a hard four years. Not bc of hrt, but life in general. Im gonna graduate uni in just two more years if everything goes well, family has died, we found some lost family as well... anyway

- i recently went through old photos and the changes are incredible and im so happy with how far ive come

-i grew out my hair again, i used to not be able to have it longer than my neck, now its about mid-back

- i shaved for the first time a few days ago. I was terribly hesitant to shave since facial hair has always been one of my main sources of gender dysphoria so i just trimmed to look tidier. And i still didnt shave everything, i left my mustache and a lil bit under the lip (and i didnt really like the style so i might not do it again hfhdhfhs) but it felt nice

- i found some old boxers i had from when i was pre-t and tried them on and they were really loose. I knew ive gone down two sizes (ive had to buy a belt and replace pants throughout the years) but this was like a revelation of just how much of a difference there is.

- i can maintain a tune again. My voice still cracks when i talk every now and then but thats because i tend to get excited sometimes (infodump) and thats just a natural part of the experience hfhdhhs

-my parents once again just straight up gaslighted an old friend of theirs who knew me from before LMAO "didnt you have another daughter?" "Nope, always have had this son" "but what about *deadname*?" "Who? You must be confusing our kids with somebody else's kids."

-bad but expected news: my hair is thinning. Genetically i know that eventually going bald is inevitable and im mentally prepared to shave my entire head at some point in the future. Still, I'm going to try and do my best to delay it for as long as i can, as i dont wanna have to do it now at 24, i'd prefer to keep my hair for at least one more decade, thank you very much lmao

All in all, im really happy with how far ive come. Still, im going to be purposefully delaying my next shot (which is in a week) because of the aforementioned thinning hair. I'll be seeing a doctor for some sort of medication to treat it (as well as something for my skin condition which has gotten more annoying than usual lately) and resume HRT once ive been using the medication for one month so it sets well and blah blah hfhshs its not the first time i get delayed by one month (due to economic or other issues) so i know that its gonna be fine (*･∀-)b

#ftm #trans man #trans ftm #transgender #ftm hrt #hrt testosterone #hrt update

[appreciatingtokrev]

that's really nice to heard that you guys managed to turn it around then! hopefully, your friendship will last for many years to come 🙂 i recently had to cut off a friend for 8 years because she went too far since she let bad experiences define her too much and i couldn't do it anymore 😭 it did made me realise that friendship or any general relationship does take work but it won't happen if the other party doesn't listen 😅 i'm a mac user and it's not available for IOS users expect for the iPhones but you can get GI on an iPad but most don't know this. Mac aren't really great for games anymore, you can't download any from steam now. that does make sense and maybe the company just abandoned it since they don't see a need switch version considering the success.

I've heard that the gacha concept is bad for ppl with gambling issues though like some ppl do impulse buy on there a lot. i've gave into playing honaki star because i wanted to be there from the start. which one do you prefer? i like honkai star more, how about you?

you are right, i got a bit lost there and we don't have the high school system on my end so i have to look up fms 😅 are you still in high school then (?) where i live, ppl your age are at university or they're retaking the previous year to get into uni.

i read the manga a while back so i've looked it up and you're correct. that is a good point, koko does seem more likely to change compare to inupi. that's true since even mitusya was still a member in bad toman and mikey disappeared and kisaki's influence. i wonder that cause koko to change that much in the bonten timeline though? because he definitely knew what he was doing then by signing up to it willingly.

it is a bit hard and long 😅 which version of venti do you want to cosplay? that is a shame but more interesting characters will appear where you might want to cosplay them instead and like you said, you could always start now.

tbh, anime merchandise is pretty expensive so if you could order it, it would be a little bit hard to find reasonable prices 😭 there are limited edition perfumes of TR that cost at least 100+ for just ONE, i was talking to someone and she will buy at least more than one but i was like wait, what if you don't like the scent? and then she said i'll just add it to my anime collection then and i went 💀 i would never do that, would you? making his earring must been cool though, does it jingle then? you're almost there then! wouldn't a wig be uncomfortable though? and hot to wear in the summer ? my cousin said the same thing about the hotness and you guys are exactly one month apart from each other, she's 16th of March lol. i'm not telling anyone that i'm cosplaying 😂 i'm just going to wear it as an outfit every once in a while and i'm not buying a wig.

i'm not a makima fan either, i just like her outfit lol. the fanart of her are cool though considering how terrifying/dark they are. why don't you like her? it really was and luckily i managed to get the last one for my size otherwise i've would given up 😭 thanks, it's not perfect, there is a split at the back (at the bottom) but closet i was going to get so i'm happy.

ty!! yeah i hope so too :] oh no,, i’m sorry for you ajdjfkh losing friends you’ve had for so long is very hard but if you believe it’s better that way i’m glad you did it & i hope it doesn’t take too much of a toll on you. a few years ago me and my best friend of 8 years grew apart and well... i was pretty sad about it tbh but i mean that’s life.

hm interesting, didn’t know abt any of the technical genshin stuff bc for my laptops it’s always worked without a problem

i hate to admit it but i’ve spent money on genshin too, though it was a one-time thing and i was still financially stable afterwards (otherwise i wouldn’t have done it). but yeah, it’s definitely a problem for gambling addicts.

ohh personally i prefer genshin, probably bc it’s what got me into gaming on pc and i’ve been playing it for so long lol but i prefer honkai star rail over honkai impact for sure. i do prefer the gi/hi fight mechanics but those in hsr are very fun too and i like that they did something different for once!

yeah i mean it’s not really a highschool here either... i would explain the school system in switzerland to you but it’s a little complicated so ajfjfjhsk tbf i’m a bit older than most people in my class tho it’s not too unusual for someone my age to be where i am bc the fms & gymnasium often have people repeating a bunch of times or similar things. most people actually graduate highschool at abt 18 to 20 where i live, in my specific type of class even half a year later so 19 to 21. and i’ll graduate at 22 so yeah lol. then i’ll probably go to university

i guess koko is just more prone to crime than e.g. inupi or mitsuya? i think it has to do with his trauma relating money because he knew that getting into bonten would secure him good business (if he works well ofc, but he knows he does lol) plus the other people who ended up joining bonten wanted him to be there too so that gives him an easier time making a decision.

i’d love to cospaly just his normal outfit, the one he wears in-game! my hair’s been growing out since and i never dyed it but i actually got pretty much the same haircut as him last summer lol. now idk what i wanna do with my hair and i hate going to the hair dresser so i haven’t cut it since ajdjfkhsk.

yeah, merch is so expensive 😭 i ended up finding a store in the city where my school is at that sells some animanga merch, including tokrev (and gi) stuff, so i now have a tiny takemichi figurine and a little plushie mitsuya keychain hehe, and both weren’t too expensive. i’ve also been planning on crocheting some little tokrev dolls inspired by a silly fic i read lol but my motivation has been so low 😭 ah yeah i’ve seen a bunch of tokrev perfumes too... i mean. if she likes spending money on stuff and has enough money to do it... her choice i guess

it does jingle!! i haven’t worn it yet tho bc i don’t mind the sound but i’m pretty sure the public doesn’t lmao so i might make another that looks the same but doesn’t make any noises so i can wear it.

mhh honestly i don’t think i will care abt wearing a wig too much, it’s not for too long and while i hate tge heat i can tolerate it quite easily so. and i think it will be plenty of fun (and struggle) to style it haha

oh lol, i see i’m collecting people with birthdays similar to mine one way or another lol. that actually makes a lot of sense! her outfit very much is perfect to just wear casually so. omg i love makima fanart, especially when people incorporate a lot of symbolism and/or horror elements. she’s just so pleasing to look at in a way ajdkfjsjh. she gave me bad vibes from the start and well i dislike her for her actions, which should be pretty popular lol. any reason in particular that you dislike her? omg pretty much the same thing happened to me with my valhalla jacket jacket, i’d checked out every store in town and was SO close to giving up when i found one slightly too big (it makes my shoulders look weirdly broad but i have some ideas on shortening the sleeves to fix it) and it looked okay so i bought it.

#☆—`ask #anon: z

[landoncrris]

Like maybe Y/n get the opportunity to go study at her dream university but it’s outside the country and both mase and y/n are keen on making it a long distance relationship but after a year it just doesn’t work anymore.

As brainwashed as I am I don’t want mason to do anything wrong so what if y/n is the only one who thinks it doesn’t work anymore and confesses she’s not in love with him anymore and we have a sad mason🥺🥺🥺

i took the “we have a sad mason” too specific anon i’m sorry y/n really is a pain in the arse here!! also it’s very rushed bc i lost motivation halfway through, hope you don’t mind :)

not anymore - mason mount x reader

REQUESTS ARE OPEN // MASTERLIST

word count: 2.9k

“Hey, baby,” Mason beamed through the phone, a warm smile on his face like he always had when he called you as soon as he got home, “How was your day?” he asked, looking at your face for a moment before putting his phone down on the laptop and continuing with what he was doing before he called you.

“It was fine, nothing special happened,” you said bluntly, your attention and gaze fixed on the books in front of you. “My day was good too, thanks for asking.” replied Mason jokingly after a while of silence, apparently not taking it too much to heart.

“Sorry,” you sighed, looking up at your phone and his face for the first time, “I have a lot to do for uni, can I call you later?”

“Sure, yeah. Don’t stress too much, baby. I love you.”

“Mmm, you too.” you said with an almost non-existent smile before hanging up. Mason couldn’t help but hate the fact that you were always busy these days, barely finding time to talk and always cutting off the phone calls. The phone calls that had been the order of the day for a little over a year when you decided to go abroad and study at your dream university. For you it was a hard decision to leave everything behind, including Mason, but for him it wasn’t. Of course, he was sure that he would miss you terribly, but when he saw how happy you were when you were accepted there, it warmed his heart, because your happiness was also his happiness. And he was also sure that the two of you could do this whole long-distance relationship, because he loved you more than anything and was willing to do anything for you, as he couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his days with anyone else. So when your time was cut short because you claimed you had to study for uni, he couldn’t even be angry with you because he knew how much you wanted it and worked for it. The most important thought for him was that one day he could have you back with him.

So he decided to book a flight to visit you when he had a few days off later that week, figuring he could at least be there and cuddle with you while you were busy studying, as he was longing to finally see you again since the last time was months ago due to his busy schedule. Mason thought of calling you again to tell you the news right after the purchase, but not wanting to distract you further, he decided to keep it to himself and surprise you.

So when he was busy gushing about how he knew he was going to see you in a few days, he noticed how you distanced yourself from him even less. It started a month ago that you realised this life wasn’t what you wanted, you didn’t want to sit in a whole other country with your phone by your side because of a man. Of course you knew he was special and not just any man, but you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about a proper life, like all your friends had, and that he was stopping you because he was the only thing holding you back from moving on and arriving in your new life. You realised this especially when you stopped staying up late waiting for his call like you always did because you just wanted to see his face again, and when the words “I love you” lost all meaning for you. When you said them, but also when he said them as you no longer felt the butterflies and the smile creep onto your face. The only thing holding you back now was yourself, not knowing how to approach it and you definitely didn’t want to do a clichéd break-up over the phone.

You didn’t even notice that you didn’t get a call from Mason the night before he was going to fly to your place. It was one of the first times he didn’t, mainly because he was busy packing his bags and making a new playlist of all your favourite songs to listen to when you were busy studying. Besides, he thought it would be an even bigger surprise for you if he kept you on cold feet.

You were sitting at your desk talking to one of your friends on the phone, discussing plans for today. Until someone knocked on your flat door, just loud enough for you to hear, whereupon you hung up the phone in confusion, not expecting anyone yet. When you opened the door, to your surprise, the first thing you saw was a bouquet of flowers in different colours and variations. That was until the person standing behind removed the bouquet from his face, revealing your boyfriend behind it, causing you to look slightly shocked at the sight.

“Hey, baby.” he smiled brightly, a heartwarming sight to anyone who saw it, but your eyes just stared at him as if you had just seen a ghost, unable to process what was happening. “What are you doing here?” you gulped, feet planted firmly on the ground, making no move to jump into his arms or at least let him in, which made him incredibly nervous.

“Thought I’d surprise you, you know how much I’ve missed you.... Although you don’t look too happy about it,” he asked more than said, unsure if you were happy to finally see him again and just needed a moment or what else might be going through your mind, “Oh, if you have plans, that’s fine, I can just sit here and wait for you to come back!”

“Thank you.” you murmured with a small smile as he handed you the flowers. You took them and placed them on a sideboard before letting him into your flat. He was sweet and attentive as always, the thing you admired most about him, but you couldn’t help but feel annoyed by his presence.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were coming, Mason?” you suddenly snapped, unable to hold it in any longer. As you turned around and stopped in the middle of the hallway, he looked at you with furrowed brows, a slightly hurt expression spreading across his face as he took a minute to process what you said and the tone in which you said it.

“You’re not really mad at me for visiting, are you?”

“Well, what else did you expect?”

“I don’t know, not that. Maybe a little more joy or at least a kiss or a hug.” He leaned against the wall, staring at your small figure and the way you had your arms folded in front of your chest. And he wanted so badly to touch you instead, to shower you with kisses, as he had wanted to do every time he saw your beautiful face on Facetime over the last few months, or when he lay awake at night on the verge of tears because he missed you so much. It was no secret that Mason’s love language was touch, so talking to you didn’t completely satisfy him, instead he always craved more. He longed for you to be in his arms as the two of you fell asleep together, or for your nails to be on his scalp and for him to feel safe and relaxed at your touch. Now that he was so close to you, that feeling got worse, he had to restrain himself from kissing or hugging you, the things he would much rather do than argue with you when you should be happy instead.

But in response you just scoffed, turned your back on him and walked towards your living room, leaving him even more confused in the hallway, “What’s that supposed to mean now?” He pushed himself off the wall, followed you but stopped in the doorway as you plopped down on your couch.

“You can’t just turn up here uninvited like it’s nothing.”

“Why not? When you still lived in London we even had each other’s keys and now I can’t even stand on your doormat?” His voice rose slightly, he didn’t mean to take that tone with you, but the whole situation frustrated him, along with the pent-up tension of the last months of not being able to be close to you. You buried your head in your hands with a groan, which irritated him even more as he just wanted an answer from you. “Just tell me the fucking problem, Y/N.”

“God, because I don’t love you anymore, Mason!” you said simply but harshly as you lifted your head and looked at him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You watched him stumble back slightly, as if your words had literally punched him in the stomach, while his eyes looked at you in disbelief. He’d expected anything, especially that you were just stressed from university and didn’t allow yourself to relax like you always did. But this? That was the last thing he had expected to hear and what he wanted to hear. Now he just felt embarrassed, the signs were so clear in front of his eyes, from you being distant to ignoring his texts or hanging up on him all the time. Mason didn’t know the last time he’d had a real conversation with you, or the last time you’d said “I love you”. It was all there, he was just too stubborn to see it, still too stubborn to realise that he had lost you.

“And why didn’t you tell me?” he almost whispered, his eyes fixed on the floor, afraid that he would start crying as soon as he looked at you again. So he didn’t see you shrug, the painful silence continuing for a while longer.

“I didn’t know how to tell you.” you saw him swallow thickly as you searched inside yourself for the last vestige of love you had once felt for him, now that he stood before you again. It confirmed to you once and for all that there was nothing left, only the memories of what you had once felt. Your thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of your phone, which revealed a message from your friend group as you opened it, saying they were downstairs waiting for you to join them for their evening.

“Listen, you can stay the night and book a flight back, I won’t be here anyway-”

“You’re kidding, right?” Mason’s eyes narrowed and he watched you intently as you picked up your purse from the table, now noticing that you already had your shoes on and appeared ready to leave. “That’s it? You just tell me you don’t love me anymore and that’s it?”

“That’s all there is to say.” you sighed, taking your jacket from the chair and pulling it on before walking in his direction, his eyes flickering back and forth between yours as you tried to avoid his gaze.

“No, it’s not, Y/N.” he grabbed you by the wrist as you walked past him, eliciting a groan from you as you tried to break free, but it was no use. He wasn’t going to let you walk out of his life so easily, especially not after you had promised each other never to break up. “I really have to go, my friends—”

“I don’t fucking care. I deserve at least an explanation, don’t I? After all this time you treat me like I’m some piece of shit,” he finally let go of your hand because the touch only made him feel more miserable. The next thing you saw was him leaning back against a wall, his fingers digging into his closed eyes as he tried to hold back the tears, “Is there someone else?”

“Are you serious?” you scoffed, no matter how hurt or angry he was, you never thought he would accuse you of such a thing, “You really think so little of me, huh?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know this person standing in front of me right now! God, just tell me what I did wrong,” he groaned, trying to keep his composure, but he couldn’t help it as tears finally rolled down his face, exposing some of the damage you have caused in him for you to see.

“Please, just tell me why a life with me wasn’t enough.” he looked back down at you after his gaze was fixed on the wall opposite him. And the sob that escaped him as his eyes met yours was painful even to your own ears. You couldn’t help but feel bad for screwing up so badly, but you didn’t think you could force something that wasn’t there, so you just stopped trying and gave up on everything you had planned together.

“I just—” you took a deep breath, still searching for the reason for what happened as you tried to ignore the buzzing of your phone in your pocket, “I don’t want this life, I don’t want to be with someone so far away, someone I only see a few times a year, okay?”, you sighed and switched your phone to silent before continuing, “I want to live my life and not wait for a stupid phone call every night and feel bad when I have something planned.”

Mason swallowed hard when you called your daily calls “stupid”. All evidence of the person he loved was clearly gone as you continued to trample on every good bit of your relationship that he had been trying to maintain since you moved away. He watched you silently with tears in his eyes as you reached for the phone with a “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming now.” rolling your eyes. You said nothing more, feeling once again that there was nothing more to say, resentful of the delay in your evening. So you just made your way to the door, which panicked Mason as you were about to disappear from his life again, never once looking back or shedding a single tear, as if none of this had ever meant anything to you.

“You can’t just leave me baby,” he rushed after you and turned you around by the shoulder, trying to cling to every last bit of you he had left, “Please don’t leave me, I don’t know what to do without you.” his words were slurred as he spoke through the tears and the lump in his throat, only able to see you in a blur by now.

“Mason-”

“No. Please, we can make it work, I’ll do anything you want, I’ll give you your space, just, just don’t throw it all away, love.”

“Don’t “love” me Mason,” you groaned, and the hand he was clutching tightly to, stopping you from leaving slipped from his grasp before you took quick steps towards the door, your brusqueness taken him aback.

“Maybe if you hadn’t been so clingy all this time, this wouldn’t be a problem now. Just accept that it’s over.” and in seconds you were out the door, pulling it shut with a loud bang. Mason blinked a few times, still trying to understand what had happened, as his feet somehow carried him to your couch. He dropped into the same spot you were sitting in earlier, his face in his hands, just like you had. And as he took a few deep breaths, your scent enveloped him, causing the tears to flow silently down his face again as reality hit him.

Mason couldn’t help but think of all the years of shared memories as he sat there for what felt like hours, not moving once. He thought of how you had met in your last year at school, how you were inseparable from the first day, always hanging out together, at which his family quickly became yours and your family became his too. Of how you were friends all those years until you kissed for the first time, when he first understood what it meant to get butterflies, of your first time, of all the conversations you had with your head on his shoulder, sweaty bodies pressed against each other as you talked about your future. You made all those plans, plans Mason never forgot because he promised you he’d remember everything, build your dream house exactly as you described it, and make sure the marriage proposal was just as perfect as you’d seen in the videos, remembering how you always told him how awful public marriage proposals are. To this morning when he was standing in the flower shop picking out your favourite flowers while the shop assistant told him how lucky the recipient was as he had to tell her all about you because of his pure excitement.

And now, though it was so terrible to be in your flat and to be reminded of all the things here that were only memories of your future life, a life without him, he couldn’t help but stay and savour the last bit of you that he could. But if it meant you got what you wanted and were happy for a while, he would accept it and wait until you came back to keep your promise of “forever”.

#mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount oneshot #mason mount imagines #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount angst #chelsea fc #england nt #chelsea imagine #england nt imagine #football imagine #football #fanfiction #oneshot #angst

[meltwonu]

|     𝖓𝖊𝖔𝖓 𝖉𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒     |     CHAPTER 9

pairing; camboy!seokmin x female!reader

this chapter’s notes; camboy!au, university!au, camshows, camboy!seokmin, softdom!seokmin, sexual photos/videos, masturbation, praise!kink, daddy!kink, mentions of sex toys, soonyoung thinking he’s a matchmaker lol AND WE ARE BACK! 😭💕 Sooo sorry for the delay, it’s been like, a literal almost two whole months since ch 8 and for that I am very very sorry kdjkdjh ☠️ I thought it’d be best to ease back into it with this chapter since it’s been a while though 😵‍💫😵‍💫 Literally just,,, November did not go how i thought it would at all but the important thing is that we’re back! ✨ Hilariously, all of my posts next week will be queued bc I will be seeing bts soooo ☠️ y’know kjdhkj the grind never stops apparently 😮‍💨😮‍💨 I hope to get some real rest after then tho 😩✨ But anyway! enjoy ch9 and I will see you tomorrow to catch up on inbox messages! I love you, and have a good day! 🥴💕 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - ?

*queued post. (cuz even workin on Saturdays 😩 lol)

“Hey, did you hear about that weird anonymous board that’s popped up about our uni?”

Your ears perk up at the conversation coming from the cafe table behind you - a threaded needle in one hand and one of Seokmin’s costume shirts in the other.

You’d chosen to finish some last minute alterations at a cafe; knowing that if you tried to work at home, you’d get distracted and not finish on time.

“No? What’s it about?”

“I mean, I haven’t gone to check myself but apparently it’s some anonymous board called ‘/svt_u_gonewild’ where people have been posting nudes ‘n stuff… It’s only for our uni, though. So it’s just people that attend here, supposedly.”

You make a mental note to check on it later; curiosity making your mind wander about who would be posting on there and if you’d be able to recognize anyone.

Should I post on there? You ask yourself in the heat of the moment - cheeks warm as you bite your lip.

You’d been spending a lot more time with Seokmin lately and, admittedly, you’d found yourself falling more and more for him with each meeting the two of you had.

You watched from the sidelines during his rehearsals and when the two of you would have costume fittings, he would always make an effort to keep you laughing and engaged in a conversation.

Not to mention he was extremely gifted at what he did once he was serious about his work.

And he even kept his offer of always bringing you anything you needed, whether it’d been coffee or even late night food when the two of you knew you’d be having costume fittings the next morning.

‘It’s the least I can do,’ he’d always say with a sheepish smile, ‘You’re working so hard for me and I really appreciate that.’

“Soonyoung-hyung… You know everyone can tell it’s you posting… Right?”

The male smirks as he pockets his phone and takes a sip of his red plastic cup. 

“So? What if I said I don’t care, huh? I mean, look at me. What would I wanna hide about this?”

He does a spin as Seokmin rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his own drink.

They’d ended up at another frat party, this one quieter than most of the others he’d been to.

Thankfully.

But while Soonyoung had been having the time of his life, Seokmin couldn’t help but think about the 9AM costume fitting he had at the campus the next morning - choosing to only have a few drinks before he’d go home and maybe stream for just a little bit before bed.

“Hey, I saw this post earlier, I think you might like it, Seokmin!”

Soonyoung fishes for the phone he’d just pocketed a few seconds prior; scrolling as quickly as possible before he finds the picture he was looking for.

“A-ha! Here you go, I think you’d like it. I dunno, it kinda reminded me of you for some reason?”

The younger male leans in to see the photo, eyes as wide as saucers when he sees it fully.

It was a photo of a lingerie-clad body; baby pink and mostly only lace covering up barely anything with a large pink dildo between the spread legs to cover up the fact that the figure didn’t have any panties on.

‘I thought this might’ve been daddy’s favorite…? I’m not sure though… Tell me what you like?’ was the caption and it made Seokmin’s mouth water at the scenarios that ran through his head in a split second.

“Ay, are you okay? I don’t think you’ve blinked yet.”

“H-huh? Oh, uh, I just… zoned out, is all. Um, maybe you should put that away, we’re in public, dude.”

Seokmin, against his will, tears his eyes off of the image that he so desperately wants to take one more look at - telling himself he’ll look for it later when he’s alone so he can inspect it further.

“You’re the one that was just staring but okay, sure. Y’know, you need to loosen up, Seokmin. Maybe you should post on there!”

“What?!”

Soonyoung laughs before downing the rest of his drink, “Yeah, it’s not like anyone would know it’s you anyway!”

“Uh, right…”

“Or, hmm, do you want me to figure out who’s in the pic? I can try to hook you up or something’ if you want? You seemed reeeaaallly interested~ And I think I might have the skills~ Unless you’re scared she’s more experienced than you~”

“Please, can we finish up taking their free booze so we can go home?”

You’re about to let sleep take you when a notification pops up on your phone - the light making you groan as you pick it up to see what it was.

‘Bedtime thoughts....? [Praise Kink] [Audio Stream]’

You thank the powers above that Dokyeom’s streams were always audio streams and that you didn’t have to pay attention to any videos as you opened the stream and set your phone back down onto the bed sheets.

“Mm, sorry,” He starts - voice groggy and sleepy as he sighs, “I was about to go to sleep but I just wanted to pop in really quick… I--I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to get off… I’ve been like this for an hour now…”

User98475945: ooo why’s that?

Anonymous093847: were you sleeping?

b@d_dream: I was about to go to bed too… What was on your mind?

Dokyeom chuckles on the other end and between his soft groans and muffled sighs, you can hear the slicked noises of his hand working up and down his cock as you lick your lips.

“I saw a picture earlier that I really liked… Got me thinkin’ about how much I’d wanna praise my babygirl, y’know? Especially after you’ve worked so hard riding my cock…”

You squirm underneath the covers and you snake a hand between your thighs as you slowly work yourself up over his filthy words.

“There was a pink dildo in the picture and I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d love to thrust that toy right into your pretty ‘lil cunt, baby…” Dokyeom moans right into the mic as you press your fingers right into your clothed mound. “I wanna see you bent over while I thrust that toy into you… And I know you’d be a good girl and take what daddy gives to you, right? You’re such a good girl for me, after all.”

The comments on Dokyeom’s stream go crazy as they fly across the screen; virtually impossible to read any of them as he continues.

“You’d be so good for me and take that toy… Right before I fuck your pretty cunt open, spread your legs nice ‘n wide for me while you keep all that pretty lingerie on your body too~ You’ll let daddy cum on your pretty pink lingerie and get it all dirty, right?”

You can hear Dokyeom’s hand speeding up as he works himself up to an orgasm and there’s a slurry of comments begging to know what the picture actually looked like for him to be this turned on.

He ignores it for a moment, instead chasing his high as his hips thrust up into his enclosed fist and soft, muttered curse words fall from his lips right into the mic.

The stream has only been going on for a few minutes but in that time, Dokyeom manages to make $2000 - something he was extremely proud of.

“Ah, f-fuck… I wanna cum so bad already… I’ve been touching myself far longer than I had the stream open… do you want daddy to cum inside of your pretty pussy or on you, princess?”

He lets out a airy chuckle before he feels himself cumming; succumbing to the pleasure as his eyes clamp shut and his hips erratically thrust up into his fist.

Donations and comments make the stream lag slightly as his viewers drink in the way his voice gets airy in the midst of his high and you feel the wetness soak into your panties as you groan and realize it’s going to take more than this to get you off before you can fully rest and go to bed.

‘I’ll just replay some of his old videos, get off and go to bed…’ You reason with yourself; promising to get to sleep as soon as you were satisfied.

You had a 9AM fitting with Seokmin and it was already severely late into the night.

But it takes a few long minutes of Dokyeom moaning and sighing into the mic before he’s coming down and slumping against his computer chair - chuckling softly as he gets back to the question at hand.

“Mm, it was a pretty photo, by the way… Cut off right before the face but the figure was covered up in baby pink lingerie… it didn’t leave much to the imagination and the pink dildo made me wonder if she could take all of it… Then it got me thinking about fucking my pretty ‘lil princess all night… I was out with a friend and I felt bad - I bailed a little early because my cock was so hard just thinking about it.”

He laughs again, this time sounding a little more tired. “There were a lot of comments underneath praising her and leaving all sorts of filthy comments - I think she even responded to some saying how wet they made her so... Y’know. I won’t say I’m jealous buuuut... Couldn’t help but think about it too.”

Your brows furrow as you process his words.

He couldn’t have been talking about the photo you’d posted earlier.

Right?

b@d_dream: where was it posted? I kinda wanna see…

User284937: me too!

Anonymous748594: same!

“Ah, I wish I could but I can’t. Privacy reasons, y’know? They might be local to me.” Dokyeom stretches and yawns into the mic, “But there was a cute ‘lil butterfly charm right in the middle of the bra - it was purple and blue so if you see it, you know you’re looking at the right one~”

Your breath stops for a moment ad your body goes rigid.

He was talking about you.

You freeze under the covers with your hand between your legs, suddenly more interested in the fact Dokyeom was in the same anonymous board as you were which meant he attended the same university that you did.

But you didn’t know a Dokyeom?

But the campus is big, you tell yourself; slowly feeling a cold sweat start to wash over your body, he could be anywhere there.

And in your sleepy haze, you can’t remember if you’d even told Dokyeom which university you attended - only remembering that the two of you had spoken about attending one in general.

You’re too deep into your thoughts to realize Dokyeom was already signing off for the night; now too awake to even go to bed and too curious to even get off.

A sigh escapes your lips as you slide your hand from between your thighs - it would be a long night.

#seokmin smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seokmin scenarios #seokmin imagines #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #seokmin fic #seokmin #lee seokmin

[v-hope]

One Way Ticket

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader (ft. Yeontan bc Family)

Genre: Flufffff, established relationship, long distance relationship (not for long), and like, slight angst at the beginning if you squint your eyes and do a backflip

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Long distance relationships are never an easy thing, and although you and Taehyung had managed to make it work for four years and were used to not seeing each other that much already, he couldn’t help but feel like his birthday was ruined at the news of you being stuck at the airport due to a bad weather flight delay. However, although things didn’t quite go to plan, it only took for you to arrive two hours before the day was over for it to be his happiest of birthdays so far.

A/N: Hellooo, well, obviously this is for my man’s birthday 🥳💝 This story takes place in my Red Flags series’ timeline since one of you requested it and I thought it would be really cute, but you don’t need to have read it to understand what’s going on here. I hope you guys enjoy! please let me know your thoughts~

“You were supposed to be here today” Taehyung reminded you, unconsciously tightening his hold on the phone as his low voice did a good job at letting you know just how upset he was.

You sighed, that alone letting him know you weren’t having a good time with said fact that was just not happening anymore either. “I can’t control the weather, love…”

Now, he knew that. Of course he knew that. But right then, he really fucking wished you did control the weather. That way you wouldn’t be stuck in another continent still due to a snowstorm that had delayed, if not cancelled, all flights that week — a stupid snowstorm that was keeping you away from him for longer than you should have.

It was a joke. It had got to be a joke.

That was what Taehyung kept telling himself throughout the whole phone call, and continuing to believe —to wanting to believe— so even after you hung up.

You were supposed to arrive that night. That had been the plan all along. All his schedule he had rearranged so he could make sure that particular night he would spend with you. Just you and him. Since the very next day, also known as his birthday, he would have to go to rehearsal for BTS’ presentation on the 31th like every other year, he was looking forward the most to this night. He had it all planned out. Your flight would arrive at 8pm, he would pick you up and then the two of you would have dinner together back at your —now— shared place. You would wait up until midnight, have some cake afterwards, and then stay up late so you could, well, catch up on a few coupley things you had been missing out on for a good while now. After all, you had not seen each other in nearly five months.

It was funny, how he used to always say he would never be able to do long distance relationships when he was younger, yet here he was now, four years —and going strong— into one. It was hard as hell, he could not deny it, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way, not as long as he got to be with you in the end. And at the end of the day it was all worth it, for you had finally graduated uni back home, managed to find a job in Seoul, and were now moving in with him like the two of you had agreed on a long time ago, once you realised you were most definitely sticking together for as long as your lives allowed you to. So, even if he had to wait a little longer to see you, this time it was different, for you had only gotten a one way ticket, and he would never again have to drop you off at the airport and cling on to you like his life depended on it, somehow being harder for him to let go of you as the years went by.

Nevertheless, it sucked. Right then, it really fucking sucked. Five months had gone by without seeing you already and turns out he would now have to wait one or even two more days than planned? Bullshit. And that if he was being optimistic, because he swore to God he would lose his shit if you had to spend New Years Eve on a plane, alone. Not like you were spending it together to begin with either, since he had that thing to attend to, but you would at least have a good time with some of the friends you had made during the time you had stayed in Seoul for your uni’s exchange program, and who had now invited you over to a party you had oh-so-excitedly told him about.

That night, Taehyung went to bed late. Still wanting to believe with everything in him you were just pulling a prank on him like you loved to do every now and then, and that you would walk through the front door anytime with that tired face of yours after the long ass flights to Korea he was so used to by then — the same exhausted face that would light up as a bright smile took over your factions instead at the sight of him.

However, that night, you did not make it home. What you did make it to instead, was to be the first one to congratulate him on his day. Over the phone, yes, with the airport’s background noise and not in person like he had wanted to, yet there you were being once again the first one to do so, at exactly 00:00. And somehow, that alone was enough to make him happy before going to sleep. Not as happy as he would’ve been with getting to sleep with you in his arms, of course, but happy nevertheless.

He did not lose faith, though. The next morning, as he got ready to head out to rehearsal, he kept glancing at his apartment’s door over and over, still waiting for it to burst open anytime and for you to walk inside right after.

When that didn’t happen, he looked forward to the moment his members brought him his birthday cake as they waited in the dressing rooms for their turn to rehearse. Now, the guys hadn’t told him they were bringing him cake, but after all these years it was pretty much a given. And it would only make sense that you were there, right? Whether it was bringing the cake to him as everyone in the room sang the traditional birthday song to him, or showing up as a surprise right after.

Once that didn’t happen either, he couldn’t hide his disappointment anymore — still being grateful to everyone else for trying to make his special day a memorable one, yet not being able to fully enjoy it without you there. Even falling in the cliché of wishing for you to be there as he blew out the candles. That was truly all he wanted, after all.

And once his schedule for the day was finally cleared up, his last hope was walking into the apartment that night and seeing you already there waiting for him.

Again, that didn’t happen.

Biting the inside of his cheek as he walked into an empty apartment, although Yeontan was there to excitedly welcome him back home and had managed to bring a weak smile to his face, he couldn’t help but feel his eyes well up with tears. Telling himself over and over how stupid it was to be upset over something neither of you could control, he contemplated calling you for a few seconds, shaking that thought off with a tilt of his head and deciding to go take a hot shower instead. No matter how bad he wanted to, if he did call you, he knew for sure he would end up being even more upset than he already was, and then you would end up being upset as well, and that he did not want.

Not even bothering on drying his hair later that night, he changed into his pyjamas and called Tan to go keep him some company like it was usual by then. Watching the fluffy dog make himself comfortable on the mattress, Taehyung turned the lights off so he could get into bed for once and for all — wanting nothing but to sleep that day off so you would hopefully be there by the morning. Although it would no longer be his birthday, he wished he could at least get to spend some time together before he had to head out once again.

Before he could completely doze off, however, he felt Yeontan snap up from his sleep and effusively wave his tail from side to side as he ran to the closed door of the bedroom. Letting out a tired groan, Taehyung glanced over at the clock on his nightstand, staring at the number ten on it for a second before he turned the lamp on and fixed his eyes on his excited pup.

“I already fed you,” his voice came out hoarse at the lack of speaking, catching Tan’s attention for a second there before he was back at barking at the door. “Don’t tell me you want to go to the b—”

That’s when the sound of a key making it inside the front door’s lock caught his attention. And, you see, only two people had a key to the apartment. One was his, of course, and the other one, much to his excitement right then, was yours.

Not even having time to catch his breath, he jumped off the bed and opened the bedroom’s door, watching Yeontan sprint down the already illuminated hallway as you had just turned its lights on — a huge smile parting his lips at the sight of you, not being able to hold back a giggle of his at the way you had panicked and closed the door harder than you had intended to, so Tan wouldn’t be able to run out of the apartment.

“Tan-ie bean!” you excitedly greeted the pup first thing as he reached your side.

Struggling to move past your suitcase, you managed to kneel down to pet the cute ball off fluff with one hand as you held the other one as far up as you could, holding a strawberry cupcake with a single candle on it that you had already lit up right before coming in — maybe not your brightest of ideas.

Staring up at your boyfriend, who was still on the other end of the hallway, you smiled brightly and stood up straight as he came closer. “Happ—”

Before you could even finish what you had initially planned to sing and had by then settled for cheerfully chanting instead, Taehyung had already pulled you into his arms — unintentionally blowing out the candle as he had rushed over to you way faster than he’d like to admit.

“I missed you” he mumbled, wrapping his arms tighter around your figure and burying his face in the crook of your neck as he felt his heart at ease.

You smiled sweetly, wrapping your arms around him as well —being careful enough not to stain his designer pyjamas with the cupcake’s icing— and pressing down a small kiss to his shoulder.

“I missed you, too” you cooed, hearing him giggle when you planted a kiss on his neck this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were getting on a plane already?”

“Because I thought I would get here before you came back from rehearsal and I’d surprise you. You know, wait for you with dinner and whatnot…” you pouted. “But then of course I had trouble with my luggage and got here way too late. So I got you a cupcake and a candle instead!”

Taehyung giggled at the way you had ever so cheerfully said that last part, pulling slightly away from your body so he could glance at the cupcake in your hand you had just raised up in a victorious way.

“You could’ve just showed up barehanded, said ‘happy birthday’, and I would’ve been the happiest”.

“You interrupted me when I was about to tell you ‘happy birthday’, though” you huffed over dramatically.

Letting out a light laugh, he securely cupped your face in his warm hands and rested his forehead on yours, smiling blissfully as ever at how close he was able to have you right then, at how he was able to feel your warmness in his hands after all those months. “You can say it again now”.

“But you already blew out the candle” you pouted, bringing the treat closer to him so he could see your point.

“I guess this is the moment my wish comes true then”.

“You didn’t even get to make a wish, you idiot” you rolled your eyes.

“Oh, I did” he nodded his head determinedly. “Earlier today. And not to brag about it, but it already became true”.

“Was it perhaps for me to arrive today?” you coyly batted your eyelashes, earning a very visible roll of eyes from him.

“Cocky, aren’t we?”

“I mean,” you shrugged, taking a step back from him and his hold. “I can always go back home and send your actual wish ov—”

“Yah,” he stopped you as you dramatically turned around to pretend to leave and Yeontan followed right after, pulling you back to him by your wrist. “I didn’t spend pretty much my entire birthday wishing for you to get here so you can leave me just like that” his eyes turned softer, yet still held that playful vibe in them. “Besides,” he pulled you closer, this time by your waist. “Funny how you said ‘go back home’ when this is your home now, baby” your heart skipped a beat at his remark, appreciating the way he looked up and puckered his lips as he pretended to fall deep in thought. “Hm… Maybe I misheard”.

You giggled at the way he had copied your overdramatic ways, bringing your free hand up to sweetly caress his cheek. “My bad, love”.

Taehyung smiled, with that boxy smile you fell in love with years ago, and nodded softly to let you know it was alright. “Can I get my birthday kiss now?” he murmured, ever so faintly brushing his longing lips against yours. “I’m kinda dying over here”.

Shaking your head in amusement as you laughed, you bit your lower lip. “Just kiss me already, you dork”.

So he did, not even dreaming of wasting another second before his lips hungrily crashed against yours. He had missed you like crazy, he always did, but right then, as your soft lips were pressing on his and your hand made its way from his cheek to the back of his head, entangling your fingers in his still damp hair, he realised just how bad he had craved your touch, how bad he had craved you.

Having him deepen the kiss, you couldn’t help but take one step back as you had lost your balance — his hand being quick to bring your body right back to press against his, later resting on your lower back to keep you steady as his other hand firmly cupped your cheek.

“Happy birthday” you mumbled against his mouth when you had pulled away to catch your breath, feeling the corners of his lips curve up before he pressed them to yours once more.

“It is now” he hummed, drawing tender circles with his thumb on your chin and not being able to hold back a giggle when it was you the one to steal a kiss from his mouth right then.

Your breath hitched when you felt his hands made their way down your body, letting out a squeal when they grabbed your thighs and picked you up without a warning — your arms wrapping tightly around his neck and legs around his waist as his hands were firmly placed on your ass to keep you from slipping down while he walked the two of you out of the hallway and into the living room, having Yeontan run past you two and go lie on the couch.

“Yah, I just got here and you’re already going for second base?” you teased him with raised eyebrows.

Taehyung shook his head, cockily raising one of his own. “I’ve earned my right to all bases a long time ago, I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

“Don’t get too cocky, Kim Taehyung” you warned him as he sat you down on the edge of the counter, being careful enough not to knock down one of the pictures of the two of you that were neatly displaying on it. “I might revoke all your rights”.

“You wouldn’t” he daringly squinted his eyes. “Not on my birthday”.

You threw your head back, letting out a loud laugh and placing the cupcake down on the counter before you went back to his eye level. “Only under two hours until it’s over, so...”

“You wouldn’t” he repeated confidently.

“What makes you so sure, old man?”

Shaking his head in amusement and deciding not to comment on the taunting name you had just called him, he didn’t even try to hide the smirk that was curving up the corners of his lips as he leaned in. “I just know”.

Not even trying to play it hard anymore, you met his lips in the middle, humming contentedly when he placed his hand behind your neck so he could take control over the kiss he was not quite willing to let go of yet. And neither were you, which is why your eyes remained closed and your lips slightly puckered up —clearly wanting more— when he suddenly pulled away one minute later.

“Okay, now tell me my birthday present!” he demanded.

Still being too stunned by the intoxicating kiss he had just given you, it took you a second to open your eyes after hearing his muffled yet excited words against your lips — eyes locking with his excited ones as his hands unconsciously rested on your thighs.

“Oh, it’s in my bag!” you jumped up once you managed to understand what he had meant. “Let me go get it”.

Although your words were meant for him to move aside so you could get up on your feet and rush over to the forgotten suitcase on the hallway, Taehyung did not move an inch — if anything, tightening the hold of his hands on your thighs to keep you from going anywhere.

“Not that one”.

Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “The cupcake?” you offered, earning a light laugh from him, along with a small shake of his head. “Sex? Because I know I was just threatening with revoking that right, but since it’s still your birthday, I mean...”

Taehyung laughed wholeheartedly, once again shaking his head no as he brought his face closer to yours. “Although I would love that and will take you up on that offer later,” his bold words managed to bring some heat to your cheeks. “That is not what I meant”.

“What did you mean then?”

“Just want you to tell me something...” he hinted, gently caressing your sides. “How long will you be staying, baby?”

You rolled your eyes when it finally hit you what he had meant all along. And you couldn’t help but laugh lightly at how such simple things were the ones that made him the happiest. “Well, considering I only got a one way ticket over here this time,” your heart sped up at the way his smile grew wider at the sound of that. “And that the rest of my stuff will arrive here in a few days… I’d say I’m staying for quite a long, long time”.

“How about forever?” he smiled brightly.

You giggled, tilting your head up in anticipation as you felt him lean in to press his mouth on yours. “I like the sound of that”.

“I love the sound of that” he agreed, pressing another kiss to your smiling lips.

And you truly did, for although you were leaving everything behind, your family, your childhood friends, your culture... it was easy as long as you had him. And even though you knew there would be times homesickness would hit you like a truck, especially when the time came and Taehyung would have to go on tour with his group, you were ready to start your new life here with him. You had already lived here once for a year, after all, the only difference being you now got to live with your long term boyfriend, and, of course, that you wouldn’t have to count down the days until you had to go back home and away from him anymore.

“Everything alright?” he wondered, catching up on the way you had momentarily spaced out.

“Mhm…” you were quick to reassure him with an eager nod of your head. “Now eat your birthday treat before I do” you threatened, grabbing the cupcake that had been lying next to you all along and bringing it up to his face.

Taehyung chuckled, pressing a lingering kiss to your neck that was sweetly followed by another one. “But I have my birthday treat right here…”

Although flustered by both his words and the way his lips kept peppering soft kisses all over the sensitive skin of your neck, you stood your ground. “Pretty sure I’m your girlfriend, but oh well”.

He chuckled once more — before you could react, dipping one of his long fingers on the icing and spreading a good amount of it on your lips. “Now you’re both”.

You didn’t really get to fully laugh at his playful antics before the sound of it was muffled by his mouth sucking on your bottom lip, his fingers holding onto your chin to keep you from pulling away as he deepened the kiss — making sure to remove every last trace of icing on your mouth before he slid his tongue into it.

Breaking the kiss for a brief second for what he thought was to catch your breath before bringing your already swollen lips back to his awaiting ones, he found himself letting his jaw drop when you opened your mouth not to kiss him once more, but to bring the infamous cupcake up to it and loudly bite down on it.

“Yah, that is my strawberry cupcake!” he called you out — although trying to act mad, having a hard time hiding his smile at the way you had just covered your full mouth as you laughed whilst trying to chew right then.

“You weren’t eating it, so…” you shrugged.

Before you could take another bite, however, he grabbed your wrist, quickly moving it up to his mouth instead and shoving the entire baked good into it in just one go.

Petrified after what just happened, you stared at your now empty hand — amazed by the way he had managed not to bite into your fingers with how fast and forceful his mouth had been, before your eyes fixed on your full-mouthed boyfriend as he struggled to chew the whole thing down.

“Mine” he stated, not minding to cover his mouth as he was almost done with it already.

“I tend to forget how big your mouth actually is” you admitted, mindlessly sucking the remains of icing from off your fingers.

Taehyung scoffed, rushing to swallow down so he could properly speak. “You out of all people should know what my mouth can d—”

“You know,” you cut him off before he could pronounce that last letter and bring his cocky point across. “Booking a return plane ticket sounds really tempting right now”.

“Oh, yeah?” he tauntingly raised one of his eyebrows, pulling you closer to the edge of the counter and making you wrap your legs around his waist. “Good thing from now on those return tickets will bring you right back to Seoul”.

That was what made him the happiest. After all those years of buying ticket after ticket, all those years of having to drop you off at the airport so you could go back home, all those years of having to wait for endless months just so you could see each other for a few days, all of that, was over now.

From that night on, this was your home. You, him and Yeontan, and of course, the eventual additions that would be made in a couple of years.

And that was the best part. No matter where you travelled to from now on, you would always just go visit abroad and return right here, back to him — never again being almost about to miss his birthday, for you would both go to sleep and wake up right next to him during all the upcoming ones, just like he had ached you to do every single day ever since you got together four years ago.

#bts #bts imagines #taehyung imagines #kim taehyung #bts fluff #taehyung fluff #kpop #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #bts scenarios #taehyung scenarios #bts reactions #taehyung reactions #bts x reader #kim taehyung x reader #bts taehyung #taehyung #bts imagine #taehyung imagine

[realcube]

comfort with the haikyuu!! boys hcs 💝

characters: kenma, bokuto, ushijima, tsukishima, akaashi

thanks to anon for the request (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

ALL AGED UP! (no mature themes though) (i just like the post-timeskip domestic dynamics)

tw// hurt! reader, swearing, mentions of death, fluff, angst if you squint

Kenma Kuzome

bb has cat senses so he can tell when you’re sad

he can also tell bc you do the exact same thing he does when he’s sad, which is cuddle underneath blankets in bed, play animal crossing and blare lo-fi music to conceal your faint sobs

so when he walks into your shared room and notices you wrapped up in blankets on the bed, he does his best to suppress a snicker whicH HE FEELS SO BAD FOR HAVING IN THE FIRST PLACE

like he knows you’re sad but a part of his mind is just like ‘heh, (y/n) burrito.’ like you just look sO FKN CUTE!!

anyway, the first thing he always does when you’re down is approach you on the bed, sneak under the blankets and join to you to become a (y/n) & kenma burrito 

also, he might turn the speaker off depending on how loud the music is lol but if it’s at an okay volume then he’ll just leave it on and vibe with you for a bit as he desperately wracks his brain, trying to come up with something reassuring to say 

you usually comes up with the something basic like, ‘what’s wrong?’ but i mean, you don’t really mind - at least he’s making an effort and you know it must be difficult for him to think of things to say lol

depending on how sad you are, you might just tell him straight-up what happened or you might text him bc you don’t think you’ll be able to choke out an answer without bursting into tears again

then he’ll ask you if you want to be alone and act accordingly 

assuming that you say ‘no’ bc you want his presence, he’ll just recollect on the last time you comforted him while he was down and mimic it tbh

..you always comfort him so well 🥺 and whenever you console him, he always feels so much better so he just thought that maybe if he imitates you, then it’ll work just as well

so he started off by resting his head on your shoulder and whispering kind things in your ear just like you did to him, ‘you know i love you, right?’ , ‘i hope you feel better soon’, ‘do you want me to bring you some food?’

he’ll seriously do everything in his power to make sure that you’re as comfortable as possible 

and he’ll stay as a (y/n) & kenma burrito until you feel better or until the sun rises  ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰)

Kōtarō Bokuto

i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again - he’s such an empath and so overdramatic

so when he comes home from work and you don’t run up to the door to give him hugs & kisses- he’s about to burst into tears himself

so he sulks up to your room now IMAGINE HOW SHOCKED HE IS WHEN HE WALKS IN TO SEE YOU CRYING UNDER THE BLANKETS

emo-mode engaged :(

his hair deflates as he pounces on you and wails, ‘(Y/N)! WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHO HURT YOU?!’ (ಥ _ ಥ)

and the bitch dives on you while you are under the blanket, essentially scaring and suffocating you 

‘bokuto, get off me!’ you shrieked, wriggling out of his grip and out from under the blanket

 when he notices you had escaped the blanket with tear-stained cheeks, he felt even worse 

he threw himself into your arms, howling, ‘(Y/N)!! I AM SO SORRY!’

at this point all the blood had rushed to your head and you had kinda forgotten that you were sad for a moment or two

‘bo! you should know you’re own strength by now.’ you muttered, rubbing the underneaths off your puffy eyes

‘I KNOW!’ he wailed once more, burying his face into the crook of your neck

you sighed while rubbing his back, unable to supress a slight giggle, ‘bokuto..’ 

there was ages of silence between the two of you before he pulled away to look you in the eyes and asked, ‘(y/n), why were you crying before i got here?’

you’d explain the issue to him and he’d do everything in his power to solve it because the way he sees it, why should he try console you when he can just fix the variable that’s making you sad in the first place?

like, if you were just fired from your job, he’ll go full karen and he will call corporate to demand for your job back if you don’t stop him

or if your loved one died, he’ll become a fkn medium or study resurrection

or if you’re just stressed from exams/tests, he’ll just be like ‘why do you need to go to uni anyway?’

‘so i can get a qualification.’

‘why do you need that?’

‘so i can apply for a job.’

‘why do you need a job?’

‘so i can make money, so i don’t starve.’

‘you can have my money!’

you couldn’t help but chuckle at how much life-experience bokuto had, yet he will still so naïve; honestly, you couldn’t even tell if he was joking or not. ‘what if we break up?-”

“DON’T SAY THAT!” he gasped, instinctively tightening his grip on you

Wakatoshi Ushijima

both you and ushijima’s pride did not allow y’all to cry in front of one another 

if you ever had to cry, you’d just run to the bathroom, lock the door, turn on the tap to drown out the sound of your sobs and just let it all out

and if he ever had to cry, he’d just do it in the shower

but like- you both knew when the other one had been crying because of their puffy, damp eyes but you both mutually agreed to not mention it

i mean, up until now y’all had both been able to flourish in the relationship while dealing with emotions on your own so why bother changing?

and if anything, you both felt more comfortable crying to yourselves

 that was, until today

you had cracked under the pressure of your job - you were simply sitting at your desk in the study room, doing some work then it all just came crashing down

ushijima had just stepped out of the shower in his towel and was currently wandering around the house in search of you, to inform you that he ran out of shampoo so it would be greatly appreciated if you were to add it to the shopping list 

but when he entered the study to see you sitting there by your computer, bawling you eyes out..he froze

like he had to do a whole double-take bc he wasn’t sure if he was seeing this correctly

your face was buried in your hands so you didn’t notice him at first but then you heard him awkwardly clear his throat from the doorway and your neck immediately jerked to look at him

it was quite embarrassing for the both of you, ngl

like he was standing there half-naked, staring into your red eyes in hopes that what he saw was just a hallucination

after what felt like hours of deafening silence, ushijima broke it by muttering under his breath, ‘uh, is everything okay?’

‘everything is fine, toshi.’ you replied, forcing a bright smile onto your face as you went back to typing, ‘did you come down here to tell me somethi--’

‘i can tell that there is something wrong.’ he stated, walking towards you while using one had to hold his towel in place and draping the other over your shoulders to pull you into his chest. ‘do you want to tell me?’

you let out a long sigh, resting your cheek against his chest while still staring at the many tabs you had open on your desktop 

but ushijima quickly fixed that by taking your chin in-between his thumb and index finger, then turning your face to look up at him, 

‘work?’ he hummed his assumption

‘yeah.’ you mumbled, quite surprised at how understanding he was being

but then again, ushijima obviously knows what it feels like to be overworked and burnt out too, so he was able to provide a lot of empathy in that sense

Kei Tsukishima

ok a bit of tsukki slander but i feel like tsukishima would make it worse WEILUBRGBE

wait no well, he doesn’t make it worse but he doesn’t make it better either

like he’ll walk into the living room and see you curled up under a blanket on the couch, lightly sobbing from underneath- and he honestly doesn’t know how to act

this is the first time he’s seen you cry bc usually y’all keep your emotions to yourselves - you’re both v independent like that （￣︶￣)

anyway, mans thinks he can just tease the sadness out of you 🙄

‘awh, is my little couch goblin feeling sad?’ he said shakily, clearly intimidated by your figure lying on the couch, and you could tell he was nervous per his use of the nickname ‘couch goblin’

‘‘TSUKISHIMA, FUCK OFF!’ you barked, hastily wiping away your tears and clinging to blanket to prevent him from pulling it away, as the last thing you wanted him to see was your weary figure just so he could tease you about it 

‘bitch, i live here.’ he hissed, rubbing the back of his neck - feeling rather conflicted

on one hand, you seemed serious when you asked him to leave; plus, the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable by staying when you’re already sad

but on the other hand, he genuinely wanted to help

he’d feel bad if he were to just leave his s/o in tears when he could’ve done something to make you feel better 

‘do you really want me to go?’ he asked and for a change, not a hint of mockery or sarcasm was found in his voice

there were several moments of silence until you mumbled from under your blanket, ‘no.’ then proceeded to lift up your arm to allow him to crawl under the blanket and join you

he did so, pulling you against his chest so you could sob lightly against his cotton shirt while being engulfed by warm darkness

‘what could’ve possibly went wrong to make the evilest blanket demon cry?’

‘evilest blanket demon’ - that was definitely a new one, and you’d be lying if you said a small snicker didn’t escape your mouth at how monotonously he was able to deliver such a unique nickname

and after years of being in a relationship with tsukki, you’ve learned to find comfort in these nicknames considering they were a big part of how he expressed love 

in his vocabulary, ‘you’re so annoying.’ is equal to ‘i love you’

so him calling you an ‘evil blanket demon’ was, in his eyes, the highest and most sincere form of flattery

you eventually tell him what happened that made you sad and he just listens 

feel free to ramble on about anything/everything that’s worried you for the last few months bc he’s all ears 

he figured that other than make you dinner and hug you, that was the best thing he could do to help bc he was far from a romantic who’s good with words 

if he tries to console you verbally it would probably come out like ‘uh, don’t cry - i understand what you’re going through, i think, but like- cry if you want. this must be tough for you, to be honest.’

so he just listens to what you have to say and occasionally inputs a lil’ ‘mhm’ or ‘yeah’

he’s probably the most patient with you so you could stay sad on the couch for the next few weeks, as long as you’re eating the meals he delivers to you and you’re staying healthy, he’ll just let you mope until you feel better tbh

Keiji Akaashi

boyfie material right here

i’m hardly an akaashi simp but he’s probably the best at comforting you while you’re sad tbh

because he’s literally been dealing with bokuto and his emo-mode for god-knows how long so he’s very good with reassuring people😌

also, i just know that this man can detect emotions so well- evEN THROUGH TEXT ISTG

he’d text you the usual ‘goodnight ❤’

and you’ll quickly wipe away your tears that were blurring your vision to reply ‘goodnight 💕’ 

then he’ll deadass text back like ‘i’m coming over. what’s wrong?’

HE JUST KNOWS!! don’t question it bc he doesn’t even have a logical answer lol

anyway, he’ll arrive and immediately begin with the reassurance before you even tell him what’s wrong 

‘you’re coping so well, (y/n).’

‘i’m so proud and i love you so much.’

‘is there anything i can do to make you feel better?’

‘would you like a hug?’

‘you’re beautiful, (y/n). i hope you know that.’

‘do you want me to get you ice-cream?’

a king- 👑

also, you weren’t embarrassed to cry in front of him either bc you had seen him cry before 

plus, y’all both established at the very beginning of the relationship that you’d both try be as honest and open with your emotions as possible

so now, you were both sitting beside each other on your bed while sharing a banana split that akaashi made (you put the sprinkles on though so you basically gave it flavour ✨)

akaashi is definitely the therapist friend to so he gives great advice 

but if you don’t want his advice and you’d prefer him to just listen, then he can do that too 

honestly, he’d do basically anything to make you feel better 🥺

#kenma x reader #kenma x you #kenma headcanons #kenma x y/n #kenma x gender neutral reader #haikyū!! #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu x gn!reader #haikyu x y/n #haikyuu fluff #kenma fluff #bokuto fluff #bokuto x reader #bokuto x you #bokuto headcanons #ushijima headcanons #tsukishima x you #akaashi x reader #akaashi fluff #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima x reader #akaashi x you #tsukishima x y/n #ushijima hcs #ushijima fluff #akaashi x gender neutral reader #kenma hcs #haikyuu!! #bokuto hcs #bokuto x y/n

[semisgroupie]

His Pretty Girl

Pairing: Suna x Female Reader(characters here are 21+)

Genre: Smut

Warnings: choking, use of drugs (marijuana), dubcon (bc of use of marijuana), unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), hair pulling, spit, foul language (I think that’s all but please let me know if I missed anything)

Other mentions: praise, Suna’s use of “pretty girl”, oral (f receiving), hickies (f receiving), cockwarming themes, creampie (he cums inside of Y/N)

Word Count: 1.4k (wow I didn’t even think I wrote that much)

A/N: this is the first time I’ve written smut so I hope you all enjoy, I plan to get a lot better as time passes so please be patient with me. Thank you all for reading, please feel free to request. This is based on a dream I had about Suna and I tried writing the weed part based on my experiences smoking. Thank you again! -Dee :)

Here you are sitting with your boyfriend of 5 years, Suna Rintarou, in your shared apartment. There’s a haze in the small living room from the few joints you two have smoked within the past few hours. It’s a little celebration since you both have finished taking finals and only a few weeks away from graduating uni.

You’re so thankful that your boyfriend smokes weed because you don’t like to drink since you always get wicked hangovers that leave you in bed for the entire day. It’s actually the love of weed you both have that made you two meet, it was towards the end of both of your second year in high school. You already knew of Rintarou because of the volleyball team and your cousin Kita.

You were done with your own volleyball practice and were waiting outside for your weed dealer to sell you a new strain he was hyping up and while waiting for him the middle blocker went to wait with you. While waiting you both struck up a conversation and realized you both had the same weed dealer. Since that day you two became closer and started dating. Over the course of the 5 years the two of you got even closer and made it a routine, since moving in together a little more than a year ago, to have a smoke sesh at least once a month.

So that’s what the two of you are up to now, you’re sitting in one of Rin’s shirts that you ‘borrowed’ that stops at your mid thigh and black lace panties and Rin is shirtless and wearing gray sweatpants. The rule for the smoke sesh is whoever finishes the last blunt has to roll a new one and since Rin finished the last one he is currently rolling a new one. You’re sitting on one side of the couch next to him and watching his hands as he grinds it up and putting it in the rolling paper.

At this point you don’t know if it’s the weed, the love you have for your boyfriend, the fact that you two haven’t had sex in a few weeks or all three but there’s arousal pooling in your stomach that has you clenching your thighs together. You’re basically in a trance just watching his hands and slim fingers prepare the blunt and you don’t even realize that he stopped and is just staring at you. He puts the blunt on the table, cleans off his hands and looks at you with a sly grin.

You slowly move your head up to look into his half lidded, bloodshot eyes with your own.

“Come here pretty girl, sit on my lap”, you nodded slowly and went over to straddle him and sit on his lap in a weed induced haze. He tucked some loose strands of hair behind your ear and leaned in to kiss you, you leaned in and met him halfway for a kiss that led to a lazy makeout.

As you both pull away for air his hand travels down the shirt you’re wearing and starts playing with the hem, you’re just staring at his hands so close to where you want him — no, where you need him. He lowers his hand and starts playing with you over the lacy panties. His other hand moves from your waist to your hair as he lightly pulls your hair and moves close to your ear.

“You’re getting so messy for me pretty girl and all because I was rolling a fucking blunt. Now, let’s see how I can wreck you and make up for lost time” as he whispers in your ear you feel yourself getting even wetter, if that was even possible. Before you can even respond he puts you on your back on the couch and rips your panties off and before you can even say something about the panties he just starts lapping at your folds like a man starved.

“R-Rin ah feels s-so good, fuck” he hums in response to your moans and praise. Just as you feel close he slips two fingers in your wet cunt and starts massaging and thrusting into your tight heat.

“Rin, fuck, I’m gonna c-cum” you pull his hair tighter as you start to go over the edge and Rin thrusts his fingers faster hitting your gummy spot over and over and wraps his lips around your clit and sucks.

“Rin fuck fuck FUCK” you unravel and he keeps going like you didn’t just cum bringing you to overstimulation.

“Rin, b-baby, please” you try to pull his head off you and he looks up at you and nips at your thighs. The nips turn to harsh sucks that are hard enough to leave hickeys. One of his favorite spots to mark you is your plush thighs, the skin is so soft and he just can’t help himself.

“I’m sorry pretty girl” he coos, “you just taste so good I just can’t help myself, forgive me Y/N?” He pouts and you laugh, sitting up to pull him into a kiss, which he happily meets and you taste yourself. He pulls back and gently pushes you back down, “fuck Y/N you look so beautiful in my shirt”

“Thank you Rin, I love wearing your clothes”

“And I love you pretty girl”

“I love you too Rinny”

He kisses you again and pulls his sweatpants off and lines up to your dripping wet cunt. He looks at you for approval and you give him a nod and a smile. He puts himself in and bottoms out, “f-fuck pretty girl, how, ah fuck, are you s-so fucking tight?”

No matter all this time and no matter how many times you two fuck you can never adjust to his size immediately. His cock is the perfect length and just thick enough. Once he feels you adjust he starts thrusting, each time he pulls out just enough so his tip is still inside then bottoms out. He leans closer to you and grabs your face. “Open up for me, Y/N”

You open your mouth and stick your tongue out and once it’s open he spits in your mouth, “now swallow pretty girl” and you do just that. That seemed like all the ammunition he needed for his thrusts to turn into complete jackhammering, yours and his moans bouncing off the walls.

“R-Rin you fuck me s-so fucking g-good, y-you’re gonna m-make me c-cum again”

“H-hold on Y-Y/N, let’s c-cum together” you clench around him and he throws his head back and moans loudly. One thing you loved about high sex with Rin is that he doesn’t hold back with his moans and whimpers, not like he did it much when you guys fucked sober. He keeps thrusting and he licks his thumb and puts his wet thumb on your clit rubbing it in circles bringing you closer to gushing all over him.

“R-Rin, Rin, fuck baby please I’m so c-close”

“I know baby, me too, fuck” he puts his head close to your neck and starts sucking marks on your neck. He pulls his head up and puts two fingers in your mouth to open it up again and spits inside your mouth. You swallow and he wraps his hand around your neck slightly pressing on your pulse points to give you the perfect feeling of euphoria.

“I want you to cum with me my pretty girl” all you can do is moan and nod. “Ready? I’m gonna cum” he thrusts even harder hitting your gummy spot.

“Rin, Rin baby I’m cumming fuck!” You clench hard like you’re holding his cock in a vice grip as you gush around him making him reach his own orgasm. He screams your name and paints your walls white with his cum. He thrusts a few more times to empty his balls and lays on top of you.

“Fuck Y/N, sex with you gets better every damn time” he chuckles once he catches his breath and holds himself up getting ready to pull out until you grab his arm. “Don’t pull out yet Rinny I just wanna cuddle with you inside me” you whine.

“Anything for my pretty girl” he kisses you a few times and lays down beside you holding you close. He puts his mouth near your ear.

“I marked you both inside and out pretty girl, you’re mine forever” he whispers. You laugh softly “I’ll always be yours Rinny, I love you”

He turns your head and kisses you “and I love you my pretty girl”. You two share one more kiss and end up falling asleep cuddling.

#haikyuusmut #haikyuu x reader #suna rintaro x reader #tw choking #tw drugs #haikyuu smut #hq smut

[woozisnoots]

modest jeon wonwoo

° pairing: wonwoo x reader ° genre: university!au, host club!au, fluff ° word count: ~1.7k ° warnings: none! ° a/n: this had no business being this long and idek if i like it lol but I want to specifically dedicate this piece to @wonwoosimp​​ bc she’s literally the sweetest, best bean in the world [insert uwu meme here] thank you for gifting me my very first photocard, I literally cried opening it! I love you so much, I hope you enjoy!

welcome to the svt host club!

masterlist!

you entered university with a certain goal, a purpose. eventually, you were going to be the pediatric surgeon that the 13 year old you ushered you to be.

…let's just hope the knowledge of your brain was enough to get you through the first four years of pre-med. with your 3.7 high school GPA, you were lucky to get into your first choice college, let alone your current major

from the start of the semester, you dedicated yourself to studying the anatomy and physiology of the body until you knew every nook and cranny there was to know. and the library was the perfect sanctuary to get your shit together

as much as you loved your roommates, their constant fights over closet space and boy toys gave you no peace of mind what-so-ever

bless the library for being opened 24/7. If your roommates found you sleeping on their only working desk, you would find yourself waking up to the sound of tripping freshmen trying to get to their first 8am class right in the middle of the hallway

but the lone table in the corner of the library just on the third floor did you good at staying focused. even provided some good naps in between every now and then

the day before your first anatomy test, you LOCKED yourself in the library. no one was going in OR OUT of the premise just to sit across from you on YOUR table until you fully memorized the different layers of epithelial tissue >:(

gosh, you even scattered all your notes across the table just so people got the memo that this seat was: [OFF LIMITS]

yes, off limits to everyone except a certain jeon wonwoo.

the way you met was abrupt to say the least

besides your table, you had a pretty good view of the entire campus — from the main health science building all the way to the student parking lot

and just below you, an astonishing sight of a mob of screaming girls chasing after a mouse guy in glasses. not to be inconsiderate and heartless, but unless you heard someone scream bloody murder, diving back into your flashcard you go

tissue after tissue, you start to get delusional because at this point, everything is starting to look the same

slumping down into your chair, you take a second to mentally recharge, drinking the water you’ve neglected for the past three hours

you time yourself for a five minute break, going through the notifications on your phone

before you could read your roommate’s ongoing ramble on the latest update of the “crazy good looking, god-like, elite host club that the university has to offer”

a ‘club’ that you didn’t even know anything about nor cared for

you hear a loud ‘thud’ coming from the bookcase in front of you

from the side the tall, lean guy with glasses that you saw earlier emerged with his hands gripping his tricep

you try not to draw too much attention to him. half the reason being you didn’t want to embarrass him by laughing at the fact he ran into a 10 feet tall bookcase

and you did not need this man distracting you. it’s your eight week streak being this productive, a new record for anything you’ve done in your entire life and your pride wouldn’t let you have it if you lost it just because you saw an attractive man on sight

you scribble down a decent guess to the tissue identification question that you’ve been stuck on for the past few minutes, not bothering to look up

“that’s actually dense connective tissue, not smooth”

jolting up from your seat, you look up realizing the guy 5 feet away is now right in front of your face looking down at all your papers

“you can tell because they’re striated”

you stare at him in disbelief wondering how he could have gotten so fast with just looking at it for a few seconds. eyeing him up and down, he definitely looked around the same age as you but he wasn’t someone you’ve seen around the science buildings. and you would know since you took the liberty of familiarizing almost everyone within the department

“do you mind if i sit here?” his hands already on the edge of the chair ready to pull it out from underneath him

“...yeah sure”

“oh i’m wonwoo by the way,” he says as you both exchange awkward stares and knowledgeable nods

okay well since he’s proven that he might be of help to you, you might as let him stay. from what you’ve gathered, he didn’t have any stuff on him aside from his phone that you watch him get out of his front pocket, getting ready to play pacman

forget how attractive he is, this guy has some brains.

for the rest of the day, as you guys sat across from each other, wonwoo would occasionally bounce back and forth between giving you study tips and playing whatever game he decides to play at that moment in time

he was surprisingly really good at this? he knew more things about the subject than your professors did, and that’s saying a lot. like you’ve been looking at cells for WEEKS and you were lucky to get at least half of them. which begs the question:

“how do you magically know all this?”

the blank expression on his face tells you he wasn’t expecting that question but he quickly shrugs it off. “i just know a few things from my parents that’s all”

you would have questioned him further but the time on your phone read “22:57” and you already broke your number rule about sleeping early before a big test

as you pack up all your stuff, wonwoo pushes his chair in, bidding you farewell

“good luck on your test tomorrow!”

you appreciate the gesture, mentally thanking him for his help and proceed to go back to your dorms, preparing yourself to tell your roommate all about the exciting? day you had

“YOU MORON. JEON WONWOO?”

laying flat on your back on your bed, you cover the bottom half of your face, quivering under your sheets as you stare at your roommate’s outrageous outburst

you explain what happened and who you met today at the library. when your roommate asked to describe him in more detail, all you said was that he was pretty smart for someone who wasn’t particularly in your major

your roommate lets out a loud scream into their pillow, gripping the bed sheets before giving you the earful of the century

“he’s just being modest. he’s a korean lit major but he’s one of the uni’s top students since both his parents are the head of the science department.

…AND he’s one of the most requested host club members. so you caught yourself one big fish today bud.”

top student? science department? HOST CLUB? none of that was processing in your brain. the one club that you wanted nothing to do with and you just happened to meet their top money maker

grand.

the thought didn’t keep you up at night only because you thought that today’s encounter was just coincidence and you probably would never have to see him again.

(sad though, your roommate was right. he is rather good looking.)

the time that it took for you to take your test the next day flew by so fast that you questioned if it even happened. the first step you took out the classroom, you start to second guess all your answers, regretting that you didn’t check a third or even fourth time before submitting

your train of thought halts when you see jeon wonwoo standing in the empty hallway

“i’m sure you aced it”

and just like in a netflix original romance movie, he reveals a bouquet of pink begonias from behind his back while shyly adjusting his glasses

“these are for you. to congratulate you”

weird way to phrase it but you were still gonna take the flowers. “host club tendencies?”

“so you found out?”

from a distance, you can hear the rushing footsteps from downstairs followed by a sense of purpose. “i think i was bound to” :/

you didn’t know how you felt about the current situation. you had no idea what host club was until you got here and you still don’t know what they even do. for all you knew, this could just be a gesture to get them more clients

but if his actions were genuine… you wouldn’t mind seeing him again

“i have to start learning muscles for our next exam. heard it was one of the hardest ones. i’m not sure if you have more studying tricks up your sleeve?”

“i might.” a cocking little grin now appearing on his face

“good. same place at the library tomorrow then. and this time? try not to bring your dedicated fans wherever you go”

so these study sessions continued. you guys occasionally had to change spots - from cafe to an empty bio lab - if the mob ever saw a single hair follicle that might be his

but each time, wonwoo brought something more just himself. one day it would be coffee, others days it would be food. things to keep you motivated.

for a korean lit major, he was taking a lot of time out of his day to help you, being attentive to all the strategies that help you study and such

possibly making your assumption from months back, true.

by the time finals rolled around, aside from the spursts of review here and there, study sessions became more casual. you didn’t feel the need to overwork our brain since you already knew all the information (something you actually learned from wonwoo himself)

possibly the last meeting you’d have with him was similar to your first: just you two together but him playing on his phone. and yet before the night ended

“i have a proposal.”

“i’m not giving you money for your dumb club.” bold of him to assume you would-

“no but i really appreciate the thought :)

why don’t we turn these study sessions into… study dates instead?”

:0

your assumption after 6 months later: finally confirmed

“but that’s only IF you ace your finals.”

well let’s just say at the very end, you had a successful first semester and are now one step closer towards being the surgeon of your dreams.

plus, you even landed yourself a pretty cool boyfriend in the process

let’s hope his parents put in a good word for you when you apply to med school!

#seventeen #wonwoo #caratwritersclub #seventeen imagine #wonwoo imagine #seventeen scenario #wonwoo scenario #seventeen au #wonwoo au #seventeen fanfic #wonwoo fanfic #seventeen series #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo x reader

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Schooling

A/N: hi anon! From what you’re requesting it’s pretty obvious that you’re struggling a grave bit with schooling and as someone who has been there (literally, I changed my major five times), I want to assure you that everything always falls into place the way it should be. I believe in you! 

Also, as i was posting this I remembered that I don’t know how schooling works in the USA so I just wrote it from a Belgian perspective. 

Summary: could u do a richie x reader where reader wants to be a musician but their parents are forcing them into sum hard uni course, but the readers getting awful grades and then accidentally applies to a random easy program instead of the hard one and freaks out tht her future ruined, so richie convinces the reader she doesn’t need to worry bc she’ll be a famous musician instead

High school was not a thriving environment for you. You had your friends, the losers club, who you adored and couldn’t imagine your life without, but you were also bullied relentlessly, and you weren’t fond of the studying part of the school dynamic. No one is, supposedly, but compared to Stan and Ben – both possessing the motivation and drive to put it in the effort, and Richie and Mike who were effortlessly smart, you felt lost.

The idea of college was the only thing holding you up, the only motivation to get through your high school years. That musical course you planned on taking was a bright light at the end of the tunnel. In hindsight’s, you accumulated way too much pressure on yourself for imagining college to be this amazing place where you would get to thrive in life. The reality was a lot more grim.

The first problems arose in choosing your major. Your friends had all zoned in on one – or were getting close to at least-, but you were clueless about what the right thing to do was. There were worlds apart between what you thought would truly bring you joy in life, and what your parents were manipulating you into choosing.

Your parents, at least when you’re younger, have the biggest influence on your view on the world and the way you see yourself fit in it. When your parents pushed you towards a biology degree, and kept at it for months, you agreed.

From day one, you knew it had been a mistake. You shared a few classes with Stan, and those all went over fine -because you had a friend around that you needed to stay strong for-, but the moment you had your first class, a deep feeling of dread settled inside you. Despite not enjoying high school like some might, at that moment you hoped for a miracle to turn back time.

Tests passed by in a flurry, and as each one got progressively worse, your mental health followed suit. You were caught in a visions cycle of bad grades and bad emotions, and it drained you so bad that anything that could potentially have anything to do with school, like emails, send you into a frenzy.

The inevitable happens on a Wednesday after school. You wasted a lot of time thinking of what could be, and winded up at the school that organized the musical course. On the home page of the sight, there had been a test titled: ‘is our schooling up your lane?’, and you, snorting with irony, took it to be coy. They asked a bunch of personal questions, and you didn’t think anything of it, until you received and email to state that you had started your admission to the school. The month long building tension snapped, and you started crying hysterically. You weren’t sure what you had done and if it was even anything to worry about, but everything got to be too much, and you wanted your best friend with you.

Richie arrived a mere ten minutes after your phone call, and let himself in to your bedroom where you were still crying on the bed. Thank god your parents weren’t home.

‘What’s up with you?’ Richie asked incredibly, sinking down on his back next to you on the bed. You appreciated the lack of fake sympathy and pity.

‘Same old,’ was the only thing you could come up with to say. You didn’t know if you had the energy to rehash everything again.

‘Your schooling again?’

‘It’s my schooling everyday Richie. It’s important.’

‘Is it as important as hanging out with me?’ It coaxes a laugh out of you, but the lighthearted moment is quickly squashed. You can’t shut off your kind and live in the moment. With everything you do, the reality slams on you, never allowing you to have a break.

‘Yes Richie. I know that school doesn’t matter to you, but it does to me. My parents will kill me if they find out I applied to this course. Help me.’

Your leg begins to bounce, a sign that your anxiety is taking over completely. Richie can recognize the signs, as he himself displays them often.

‘Calm down y/n, you’ll just follow the music program and became a musician. I’ll pay you to be my support act, and all of the losers will come to watch us. It’ll be fine.’

‘For you maybe, but my parents will kill me when they find out.’ It’s true. Before you enrolled in biology, you had already hinted at maybe following a music path, and your mom had shut it down faster then you could even finish your sentence.

Richie snorts. ‘Your parents are mad at you all the time. Who cares, in a few years you’ll be out of there and you won’t have to listen to them ever.’

‘But-‘

‘Y/N/N, come on’, Richie interrupts cheerfully. He throws one of his legs atop your to stop your leg from moving. ‘You’re stressing over nothing. If you can tell Bowers to fuck if you can do anything.’

‘Well Bowers was nothing, he’s just pathetic. This’, you empathizes ,‘is my future Richie.’ You sigh, completely disheartened. Your pc screen is lit up, and you notice a new email pop up from your new school. You can’t take it, why can’t you have a few moments to collect your thoughts?

‘What if I’m not good enough?’ You ask him quietly, sagging against Richie for support. It’s now that your true stress comes out. Your parents views are a problem, but if you were truly convinced that you could do it, you would go against their wishes anyway. ‘What if I do this, and I have to hear about how disrespectful I am for years, and it doesn’t pay off?’

Cruelly, Richie laughs. That’s weird. Richie is never fully serious, he always has a way to alter a situation into something cheerful, but he’ll never be intentionally rude.

‘Please? Not being good enough? You’re the best musician I’ve ever seen and heard.’

‘We live in Derry, that’s not saying much.’

‘I mean it. My second favorite thing is listening to you with your instrument, my favorite is still fucking Eddie’s mom though.’ A mom joke while you were debating over your major was not something you were aiming for, but hey, it’s Richie. Are you really surprised?

‘What do I do if I fail?’

‘You won’t. But if you do, you can always do that one year school thing right? You have the rest of your life to do the adult thing, why not choose your happiness now?’

It’s profound in a way Richie isn’t often -and in a way that people don’t credit him enough-. He has a hard time being serious, but you know that once he is, he always tells the truth. Maybe this time, he is too.

‘You truly believe that?’

‘It’s as true as my wang is long.’

‘Gross’, you protest, but his words light a fire under u. It gives you a whole new wave of confidence, a way to see things from a different perspective. Why wouldn’t you go for it and take the chance? Why should you be stuck doing something you take no pride or joy in. Your parents will be a problem, but this is not the life they have to life. They have made their own decisions, and now it’s time for you to take yours. Are you willing to do something for the rest of your life simply for your parents approval?

Another email filters in, one to confirm your decision to enroll in the new major. Richie intertwines your hands, offering up more strength to do what you have to. With one last encouraging smile, you nod to yourself, and press accept.

#richie tozier #My writing #richie x reader #richie Tozier x reader #richie tozier imagine #x reader #it imagines #the losers x reader #the losers club x reader #the losers club imagines

[sunshinejins]

if i was dying on my knees (you’d be the one to rescue me)

(title from brother by kodaline)

so, hi!  jatp has reignited my desire to write again and this time i think i might actually finish a whole fic.  so uh, here it is :) please let me know if you like it, I’ll hopefully update asap, but i’m in uni so asap may be in like two weeks.  unless people really like it.  then, probably sooner lmao.

pairing: julie molina x luke patterson

fandom: julie and the phantoms

warnings: death bc rose, and i swear once but other than that i think nothing else?

Julie didn’t want to be frustrated, she really didn’t.  In fact, she wanted to be sad, mourning, depressed, or literally anything other than slightly pissed off all the time.  It’s incredibly exhausting to be angry all the time, and she felt like being sad would at least give her blood a break from simmering.

But her mom died.  And apparently her body only knows how to process grief by developing a rather annoying tendency to be irritated constantly.

She tries to forget it though.  Instead of wallowing in the negative feelings that cloud her family in the months following Rose Molina’s death, she throws herself into distractions.  She gets a job at a coffee shop near the USC campus and puts almost all her effort into becoming a top employee.  Her grades don’t drop because thankfully her professors seemed to all inherently understand that she just couldn’t sing anymore.  Like at all.

The world kept spinning.  Julie could only hope to hold on.

That’s how she ended up, six months later, complaining over a milk frother about her very well-intentioned best friend to the only person she knew would listen.

“Flynn just doesn’t understand,” Julie moans, shutting off the machine and dumping the contents unceremoniously into a to-go cup.  Her coworker, Allison, raises an eyebrow and swipes a rag at the milk spill that pools under the cup.

“Did she try to get you to sing again?”

“Surprise karaoke night with her girlfriend and a couple kids from class.  Her intentions were pure though so I don’t even know why I’m upset.” Julie shoves a lid onto the cup and slides it across the counter to a pre-occupied businessman who doesn’t notice the extra milk soaked into the bottom.  Allison nods thoughtfully and starts dumping coffee beans into the espresso machine.  Julie watches her with slight awe.  Allison was one of those people that terrified Julie when she met her; everything about her felt polished and put together down to the blunt cut of her pale blonde hair and the curve of her smirk when she smiled.  Soon enough, Julie discovered that she was as warm as any of her other friends, but it had taken a lot of closing shifts and smoothie runs to come to that conclusion.

Allison sets down the bag of coffee beans and gives Julie one of her solemn looks; it’s the sort of look where Julie thinks Allison could probably read her mind if she tried hard enough.

“Maybe they’re going about it wrong.  You haven’t been around music properly in what?  A year?  What if you just need to sit and listen to music again to just get you used to the environment?” Julie thinks for a moment.  Allison raises a fair point, and it’s the complete opposite tactic that everyone else has been trying, which has been to shove music in front of her to sing and give her expectant and hopeful looks. It’s a trial run.  Something casual.

“Where would I go?” Allison smiles a bit and passes Julie a container of oat milk to put away.

“There’s a bar off Sunset that’s hosting an open mic tonight.  Very relaxed and casual vibes.  I could pick you up from your apartment and take you.  We haven’t hung out since that movie night a while ago.”  Julie hesitates.  It’s not that she’s opposed to spending a night with Allison, but a small part of her feels like she’s cheating on her current circle of emotional support humans by agreeing to go. Not that her dad or Carlos or Tia would mind, but Flynn would possibly take offence and that alone stalled Julie for longer than she realized. Allison clocks the look on her face and amends the statement.

“Flynn is obviously welcome too.”

A mind reader, Julie swears. 

“Hell yeah. Let’s do this.”

***

Julie’s feeling significantly less optimistic when Allison’s car has been driven away by the valet and herself, Flynn, and Allison are all standing in line outside the club. Julie can feel the bass of the songs playing more than she can hear them, but the proximity of music is enough to make her palms sweat. Other than the music the coffee shop plays and the strains of country she hears through Carlos’ wall, Julie hasn’t heard proper music since Tia Victoria sang “Amazing Grace” for her mother’s funeral. Flynn notices her nervous look. 

“Chill, Jules. It’s all very chill. We’re just gonna listen to a couple bands.” 

“Flynn’s right. And if at any point you want to bail, we can go get soft pretzels.” 

“But we should try and stay for the whole thing!”

“However, we’re also going to respect you if you can’t do that,” Allison punctuates this sentence with a meaningful eyebrow raise and Flynn nods vigorously. Julie swallows and tries to mimic the courage she had a few hours ago.  The bartender scrutinizes their IDs for a moment before allowing them to sweep into the bar and Julie’s jaw nearly drops at the volume of people contained inside.  Nearly every seat is filled, and the standing areas are packed with people all jamming to the band onstage that’s currently playing what Julie has to admit is a pretty kick ass cover of “Somebody Told Me” by The Killers.  

Allison somehow discovers a table near the edge of the bar, and disappears off to get them drinks.  Flynn’s rocking out already, and Julie feels a few of the nerves in her stomach even out as the realization that she doesn’t have to sing sinks into her bones.  Allison was right, unsurprisingly.  If she focuses hard enough, she can even push out the memories of coming to these sorts of open nights with her mom.  Flynn shoots her a large and grateful grin and Julie lets herself smile back.  She’s taking a step.  She’s doing it.

Allison returns as the band switches and a new band begins to play a hyped up cover of “Africa” by Toto.  The three girls lapse into quiet appreciation of the music, with Flynn singing along to every song played, Allison bobbing her head to herself and occasionally letting out a few notes in her vocal range, and Julie just quietly appreciating the fact that she doesn’t feel like throwing up.

It’s all very casual, just like her friends said.

Until it’s not.

As the third band of the night begins their last song, Julie retreats to find the bathroom.  It’s hidden nearly backstage, and she’s just about to make it to the door when she hears the panicked shouts of someone from near the curtain which separates the small backstage from the actual performing area.

“Dude, I cannot believe he bailed on us.”

“Are you really surprised?  Bobby was a piece of shit.”

“Hey, he didn’t use to be!”

“Calm down, Reg.  You know he’s been treating us like garbage ever since that record label thought he had a ‘marketable voice’ or whatever they said.”

“Guys he bailed on us, what are we supposed to do?”

Julie, despite all the “stranger danger” lessons running through her brain, backed up far enough to see into the backstage area.  Three guys stood there, two with a guitar and a bass each and one with drumsticks he was nervously twirling.  The one with the guitar had his face buried in his hands and kept swearing heavily under his breath.  The other two seemed frozen in their own panic as well.  Guitar Player removed his hands from his face and Julie caught a glimpse of worried hazel eyes and dark curls.  Bass Player opened his arms and Guitar Player tumbled into them for a hug while Drum Player rubbed his back.  The three guys looked absolutely wrecked.

Here’s the thing: Julie had an uncontrollable urge to help people.  It’s how she got roped into half of Flynn’s schemes, how she ended up teaching Carlos all of his second grade science curriculum herself, and how she somehow became the unofficial backbone of her family after her mom died.  Seeing three guys utterly wrecked because, presumably, their fourth bandmate had bailed on them?  It activated that uncontrollable urge deep in her stomach.

Here’s another thing: Julie hasn’t played music or sang in six months.  She’s had no desire to, and every time she’s tried, the distinct urge to throw up overtook her.  Tonight was supposed to be the baby step that showed her whether or not music was something she could seriously consider again; whether or not she could feel that itch to perform anymore.

“Hey, do you guys need a fourth?”

She felt the itch.  

The three guys looked up in varying levels of shock.  Drum Player recovered first, and stepped towards her hesitantly, wringing his pink hoodie as he did.

“Um, what?”

“It sounded like someone bailed on you.  I can play.  If you need it.”  Guitar Player recovers next and nearly bounds over to her in barely contained excitement.

“You can play rhythm guitar?”

“No,” the three boys deflate, “I can play piano though.”  Guitar Player tilts his head to the side as though playing a melody through in his head.  He turns back to the other two.

“Bright could fit piano.”

“We never wrote the music for a piano component,” Drum Player wrinkles his nose.

“I did,” Guitar Player admits.  The other two don’t look phased, though Bass Player does raise an eyebrow.  “I was bored!”

“Okay, but we don’t want to put you out,” Drum Player turns back to Julie and she swallows.  

“No, I offered.  Let me see the music.”

“Okay, but you have like ten minutes!” Bass Player finally chips in with a surprisingly cheerful tone.  Guitar Player hands Julie what looks like a piece of notebook paper and her eyes skim the words and notes.  It’s feasible for sure, but she can feel the nerves prickling at her stomach.  Guitar Player leans into her space and she clocks how ridiculously attractive he is up close.  He gives her a smile.

“We alternative verses like this, see?  And I don’t know your range, but we can figure that out on the go.”  Julie gives him a small smile.

“Somewhere between mezzo-soprano and soprano.”

“We can work with that.” Guitar Player seems to vibrate with energy.  “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“No pressure,” Bass Player adds.

“Like seriously, none.  We can just go home and cry,” Drum Player says.  Julie isn’t sure.  She really isn’t.  In fact, she’s pretty sure she should just run away and hope she never sees these guys again.

“I’m sure.”

Well, that’s that.

Guitar Player sends her a smile that looks genuinely like someone has funnelled sunlight into his body and Julie feels the nerves lift for half a second.  Then, they’re called to the stage and all of a sudden she feels like she could puke all over again.  Guitar Player grabs her hand and squeezes it.

“You got this.”

Julie files out with the rest of the band and she’s extremely grateful her friends aren’t sitting in her direct line of sight.  The piano is definitely worn out from use, but her fingers settle naturally on the keys and Julie tries to focus on the budding itch to perform in her stomach rather than the urge to throw up.  She’s supposed to start this song.  This song that she became aware of ten minutes earlier.  She catches Guitar Player’s eye and he nods encouragingly.

She presses down on the keys and opens her mouth. 

Sometimes I think I'm falling down

I wanna cry, I'm calling out

For one more try to feel alive

And when I feel lost and alone

I know that I can make it home

Fight through the dark and find the spark

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #julie x luke #julie molina x luke patterson #juke #jukebox #jukebox fanfiction #juke fanfiction #julie x luke fanfiction #reggie peters #alex mercer #jatp #my writing #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #can i possibly tag this with anything else??? idk

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #relationships i guess #internet stuff #this went in a bigger direction that i thought it would lmao #but anyway

[macybeckham7]

one where you and dcl have been fwb for months now and out of nowhere (at least for you) he confesses he's fallen for you and only wants you if its as his gf, but you're unsure bc you've only ever had hookups and fwbs not a real bf so you feel like you don't know how to be in a serious relationship

You and Dom had a fwb going on for a few months now, you both were pretty good friends, always together when you weren’t busy with training or uni work. You had a playful friendship always making fun of each other and always got up to mischief with each other, like two peas in the pod. You both enjoyed the dynamic, as you weren’t exclusive but you knew that you’d always end up in bed together at the end of the night. He walks into the bedroom, you smiling as you see all the marks all over him that you gave him the night previous, he hands you some breakfast, before he sat beside you in bed. He didn’t know when his feelings for you started, maybe he always had but he didn’t admit it because he was scared to lose you. He decided to make the jump and just tell you, he confesses his feelings and tells you those three words. You feel yourself freeze, he moves away as he looks at you, trying to see your train of thought. He tells you that he wants to make this thing between more official, you felt a lump in your throat as he asked you to be his girlfriend. You felt nervous as you have never a proper relationship before, you had only had casual hookups and fwbs, you thought that everything was good between you now and you were scared what would happen once you got into a serious relationship. ‘Hey, look at me, we can take it slowly’ he says softly gently caressing your cheek. ‘I just want you to be mine, and only mine’ he kisses you softly. He not putting any pressure on you, and telling you to set the pace, as he promises that he wouldn’t fall out of love with you, which you told him that was one of the things that was holding you back. 

#dominic calvert lewin imagines #dominic calvert lewin blurb #dominic calvert lewin

[mysticm3ss]

Could u pls write headcanons/a fanfic about RFA+(V & Saeran if u want to) getting MC pregnant but MC tries to hide her pregnancy (for any reason) and around 3 months later when her stomach starts to grow RFA find her pregnancy test hidden away somewhere and confront her about it. I know u already wrote a headcanon about their kids but I just love any sort of headcanon/fanfic about baby’s and pregnancy’s yknow. Btw I love your requests broski. Your a good writer. Sorry if my English not good lol

sure thing, thank you for requesting and thank you for the compliments! don’t worry your english is perfect! 

so i wrote this literally months ago and forgot it was in my drafts, i’m sorry it’s taken so long to get up!! i rly enjoyed proofreading this bc i’m studying developmental psyc at uni right now and it’s lowkey giving me mad baby fever lmao

(leaving out jaehee for this one bc she ain’t out here getting anyone pregnant, like even if she had a penis she’d be too responsible for that to happen unless it was planned anyway let’s b real. also i varied the way the boys found out a bit as well just so things don’t get too repetitive, hope that’s okay!) 

Yoosung:

The thing you have to know about Yoosung is that he is very small and has no money, so you can only imagine the stress he’s under~

Jokes aside, when you realise you’re pregnant, your first reaction is panic.

You and your boyfriend are both so young–you’re not even old enough to have graduated college yet, how are you going to take care of a child?

It takes you a solid month or two just to come to terms with the pregnancy yourself.

When you finally think you’re feeling brave enough to bring it up to him, the thought of what his family might think acts as another hindrance–he seemed to have a perfect family, and Yoosung himself had admitted they were somewhat conservative… how would they react to your situation?

While you’re busy still coming to terms with it, however, Yoosung accidentally stumbles upon the pregnancy test you had so cleverly hidden in the bathroom cabinet.

You’d slipped it into a box of toiletries, snugly hidden between the myriad of tampons and pads that it held. When Yoosung accidentally knocked it from the cabinet, he scrambled to tidy up, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he tucked away the sanitary products.

He froze when he saw the test, mind whirring as he struggled to explain away the white stick in his hand.

There was no explaining away those two pink lines, however, and so that night, he dared to broach the subject with you.

He fiddled nervously with his hands as he sat on your shared bed, eyes looking everywhere except your face when you entered the room.

“Yoosung… is everything okay?”

A shaky breath. “MC… are you… you’d tell me if something big happened, right? Like… like if you got pregnant or something?”

The guilt-ridden look on your face was all the answer he needed.

Your eyes welled up, and Yoosung’s arms were instantly around you, pulling you against him as he squeezed you tight despite his own shock.

“MC, why wouldn’t you tell me? How long?” His words were soft; gentle whispers into your ear as his fingers combed through your hair.

When you explained your worries, Yoosung’s heart instantly melted, and he felt guilty that he’d never realised what you’d been going through the past few months.

“Don’t worry about my family, MC– don’t worry about anything at all. I love you, and I love this baby, and we’re going to be so happy, okay? I’m right here, cutie, I’m right here…”

And though your face was buried in his shirt, Yoosung could still feel your smile.

Zen:

We all know that Zen is super-focussed on his career, and in turn, works long hours with early starts and late finishes.

His busy schedule and blooming career is the first thing to cross your mind as you stare at the two glaring pink lines on your pregnancy test.

How were you going to tell him? How would he react? His career was just beginning to take off… what if he didn’t want children so soon?

How were you supposed to deal with that..?

And so, spiralling into uncertainty, you decide to put off telling him for as long as possible; to enjoy your relationship for what it was now, in case it all fell apart.

As a result of Zen’s schedule, it’s not too gruelling to hide your pregnancy from your boyfriend.

You usually wake up to brutal morning sickness hours after he’s already left for work, and your fluctuating hormones generally only make their presence known while you’re on your own.

Regardless, Zen is extremely observant, especially when it comes to his jagiya.

He idly notices that you’ve gained weight, but he’d never bring it up; he honestly doesn’t care, so long as you’re healthy, which you certainly seem to be with how radiant you’ve been the past couple of months.

He does, however, notice that you’re keeping something from him. As to what, he’s not sure.

Zen trusts you wholly and completely, so it doesn’t even cross his mind that you could be hiding anything too big from him (at least, at first).

He figures that maybe you’re just planning a surprise for him, as he’s done a number of times for you in the past few years that the two of you have been dating.

When he comes back early one evening to see that you’re not at home, he sets about making dinner for the two of you and decides to get a head start on the chores.

He knows that he’s slacked off on his household duties lately, and the least he can do is pick up a few now that he has some time at home so that you don’t have to worry about them later.

While your favourite meal is warming on the stove, Zen strips the bed of sheets and gathers your dirty laundry into the hamper. 

When he returns with a load of freshly dried clothes, he begins to pack them away. As he folds your underwear and tucks them into the drawer, he notices what seems to be a piece of paper peeking out from beneath the neatly folded fabric.

Confused, he pulls it out, his breath catching as he sees the ultrasound.

He reads your name and the date over and over, unable to even comprehend that you could keep something like this from him.

He’s crushed that you hadn’t told him, and immediately falls into denial.

This has to be a prank, right? MC would never keep something like this from me…

He’s still frozen, sonogram clutched in hand, when you arrive home.

Zen looks up at you, eyes pleading and face soft with vulnerability as he wordlessly begs an explanation.

“…MC?”

His voice is so quiet and broken that it kills you.

You gently explain that it’s real; that this isn’t a tasteless prank but, in fact, reality. Zen takes a deep breath to steel himself.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Don’t you think I’d want to be there, especially for this?” he demands, voice ringing with pain and rising in anger as he holds up the sonogram still crinkled in his fist. 

It takes a bit of explaining on your part, but Zen’s hot temper gets the best of him as he shakes his head and turns away from you. Tears prick your eyes.

“Don’t you see, Zen? This is what I was afraid of!” Your voice cracks, and Zen spares a glance back at you, immediately softening as he sees your glistening eyes and the tears beginning to stain your cheeks.

“MC… I love you. I love this baby. I’d never leave, you know that, don’t you, jagi?” His voice is hushed, his heart breaking as he leans in to brush a tear from your face with his thumb.

“You can’t keep things like this from me, princess… not something this big. If you’re worried, talk to me, okay? I’m in this with you. Forever, remember?”

His arms fall around your shoulders as he crushes you to his chest, before pulling away in panic.

“Crap! Was that too tight? Did I hurt the baby?!”

You laugh, and the sound is music to Zen’s ears as you drag him in for another hug.

Jumin:

When you wake up to a sudden wave of nausea, Jumin’s first reaction is concern.

“O-oh, it’s nothing, it must just be something I ate…”

“I see. I must speak with the chef who cooked for us last night, this is a disgusting oversight on his par-”

No Jumin don’t fire the chef ohmygod

You barely manage to calm Jumin down before you’re huddled over the toilet once more, and he lets all remaining traces of fury evaporate as he focusses on holding back your hair and rubbing your back soothingly.

All the while, your mind can’t help but dart back to the pregnancy test that you’d hidden at the bottom of the wastebasket.

You knew you couldn’t keep this a secret from your husband forever; and in your head, you knew that everything would work out just fine. It wasn’t like you couldn’t afford a child, you had more than enough money to provide for them, it was just…

The two of you hadn’t been together for that long; not really. And although that didn’t diminish your love for one another, it didn’t change the fact that Jumin was still just getting used to being emotionally vulnerable and opening himself up to other people.

Would children be too much, too quickly?

He’d never even expressed interest in having children before; he was far too occupied with you and your relationship, enjoying the joys of the present and letting the future bring what it may.

And although you manage to hide your continual morning sickness from him for a little while, you know that as soon as you start to show, you won’t be able to put it off any longer.

When you wake up feeling nauseous yet again, Jumin declares it the final straw.

“MC, you’re clearly ill. I’m phoning a doctor,” he says, voice stern and leaving no room for disagreement. “I should let Assistant Kang know that I won’t be in for work today…”

Your weak protests fall on deaf ears, and barely half an hour later, Jumin is opening the door…

You didn’t realise that “phoning a doctor” entailed bringing in a whole team of specialists in various medical fields.

They check your vitals, and when you hear them begin to murmur about blood tests, you break.

“Jumin, this isn’t necessary!”

“What? Of course it is–they can help, MC. There’s clearly something wrong-”

“Jumin, I’m pregnant!” you snap, the words falling from your lips before you can register their utterance. Jumin’s eyes widen, and he clears his throat as deafening silence falls over the room.

“Excuse us,” he manages, and the team of specialists quickly and awkwardly take their leave.

Honestly, he’s lowkey offended that you kept it from him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is stiff and cold, and your heart sinks as you feebly attempt to explain.

“Do you honestly think so low of me? Do you truly not trust me, after everything that we’ve been through?” he asks, voice hard.

That’s when you start to cry.

Damn hormones!

Jumin immediately softens, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… you’re right. I do trust you, I swear, I was just… I was scared,” you finally managed, voice thick with tears.

And though it takes a little while, Jumin understands. And once the shock has faded, the small smile that tugs up the corner of his lips betrays the excitement that your news has brought him.

“We’ll have to start thinking of names, hmm?”

Seven:

You could hardly call the life that Seven led “safe.”

The risks that come with his job hardly provide an environment fit to raise a child, a thought that instantly flashed through your mind the instant you saw the two lines on the pregnancy test.

You swallow hard, hands shaking as you move to rest a hand over your stomach. If you had to guess, you’d wager that you were at least eight weeks along…

God, had Seven ever mentioned even wanting kids before?

But despite your worries, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of delight at the idea of raising children with the man you loved so dearly.

Still, that didn’t mean you knew how to tell him.

Luckily, you had time. Seven had been sent on a mission for the agency only that morning, and he wouldn’t be back for at least a month.

Although the news had been initially devastating, you were half-beginning to consider it somewhat of a blessing in disguise… at least you could figure out how to break it to him now, right? It wasn’t like you could break news like that over the phone, after all.

When Seven does finally arrive home, he wastes no time in sweeping you into his arms and planting tiny kisses all across your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, drinking in your warmth and softness and desperately attempting to atone for all the time with you that he had missed.

After finally pulling away, Seven easily notices that you’ve gained weight–of course, he’d never mention it; you were always beautiful to him.

Regardless, he can’t help but observe that you really do seem to be glowing. 

Saeyoung knows you well enough to easily realise that you’re keeping something from him. He sees the nervous twitch of your fingers, the tightness of your smile…

And so, when the two of you cuddle up on the couch later that evening, Seven pressing kisses to your hair and clinging to you like a baby koala, he finally brings it up.

“Sooo… what aren’t you telling me, MC?” he asks, playfully poking your side despite the worry that claws at his chest.

What if they want to break up? Oh god, what if-

He finds himself so lost in his own concerns that when the words finally fall from your lips, it takes him a moment to process them.

“W-what?”

“I’m… I’m pregnant, Sae.”

You hold your breath, and only release it when you see the huge smile stretch over his face, brighter than the sun and just as warm.

And just like that, you know that everything is going to be just fine.

“If it’s a girl, can we name her Elizabeth?” “Seven nO-”

hope you enjoyed, please reblog/comment if you did! ^^

#mystic messenger #mm #jumin han #saeyoung choi #707 #hyun ryu #zen #yoosung kim #mm jumin #mm saeyoung #mm zen #mm yoosung #mysme #mysme zen #mysme jumin #mysme seven #saeyoung choi x reader #mm headcanons #hyun ryu x reader