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sketchyracoon · 4 years

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I may have lost any semblance of control on my life i had before. Among Us AU details under the cut.

Many of them have accents. I had the idea that they were from a big like multi-country space project and fell in love with the idea of the American(s) on the ship just startling the others because of things like the lack of bidets in the US.

Red (Elliot) is 38, is a Texan and you can tell he says Ya'll as a descriptor and many of the others are slightly fearful of the way he mashes words together. his whole personality can be summed up with "I'm a cowboy baby" and the fact that he's angy.

If I'm honest he is the only American on board that really startles the other crewmates even the other Americans are like "hey dude chill".

Orange (Herbert) is 27 probably from France (haven't really decided yet) and he was more confident before shock horror bad things happened to the whole crew. (More on that at five). Herbert is also very easily overwhelmed, he tries to pay attention but is often confused. I’ve also decided to change the egg on his head to be a hat in the future but I decided that after I drew the egg.

Pink (Eun-Jung) is 29, South Korean but he got some schooling in Britain and has probably traveled a lot. He looks soft but he can and will throw a mean punch. He and Herbert have crushes on each other but they kinda put it to the side when shit went down. There have been many times however when Eun-Jung has sat down with Herbert and calmed him down and dried his tears.

Green (Philip) is one of the younger crewmates being 22, he's a very studious lad he loves adventure novels and always wanted to go to space.

Especially after watching shows and reading books about space. He keeps trying to get together group DND nights but it's very hard for him to cater to everyone's interests cause he's the kind of DM that wants everyone to have fun but he also has a lot planned for a session but nothing ever happens because everyone is always goofing off. He still has fun tho and so does everyone else.

White is Angie, If I'm honest I named her that because of the halo she's wearing, and I thought it'd be funny. She is a not so single once single mother who lost her husband when her kid was born. She used to live in England but moved to Ireland for new scenery and for the space project.

She and black (Jolene) met in school and quickly fell in love. They Are Married! And the whole crew hates (loves) how sappy they are. Angie is stubborn and strong but also very kind and level-headed, she's not easily overwhelmed like Herbert is but when she does get overwhelmed, she doesn't crumble like he does. Doesn't mean her wife doesn't comfort her tho.

They both are in their late forties (Angie is 48 and Jolene is 49) and I named Jolene, Jolene because of the song. Jolene is Irish btw idk if I made that clear. And she is the definition of a chaotic lesbian, Angie tries very hard to keep her air of being a distinguished bi but she's also very chaotic at heart. They both are greying hair-wise but Jolene keeps covering it up with dye. Jolene thinks her wife looks very elegant with the white in her curls. Jolene can be summed up with that one Tumblr post story about a girl who told a girl she liked that "her air must be mad crisp" because of her plants.

Cyan (Tea) is Scandinavian and listen this like Eun-Jung's name is where is gets shaky google wise, and if this name isn't really a Scandinavian than I guess it's just an eccentric nickname. (I’m assuming it’s pronounced like the drink but if I’m wrong sorry) She is NERDY AND PROUD, but like not movie nerdy girl I mean genuinely weird nerdy. I guess technically everyone is a little nerdy in this crew but she's a feral kind of scientist. She is technically the captain of the ship because of her science background and her previous work with the Scandinavian branch of the space mission. Her goggles are prescription. She is 36 and has a little crush on the resident father of two purple (Perry).

Perry is a loving dad and all-around kind dude, he fathers the group sometimes intentionally. Often taking control of making food, and sometimes the group meetings, even tho technically he's not in charge. He's an open ear to the entire crew and he loves his two kids so much. He doesn't talk much about how he and his Ex split up but it's clear that he and his kids are happier without her. He Kinda likes Tea back a little but he's so busy being a good dad that he doesn't know that. He's often found baking for everyone and is in fact the culprit behind the extra five pounds everyone gained when joining the ship. Perry is 32. His family is from India and he visited his extended family there a lot but he was born and raised in the UK.

Blue (Liz which is short for Elizabeth) is not the greatest with people, she tries her best but she often comes off weird she's 51, one of her hobbies is learning and practicing different rules to fighting styles. She’s trying to teach herself taekwondo but the lack of instructor and need to use downloaded videos is holding her back. She's got some skill in boxing and ran a self-defense course back on earth. Her entire class was sad to see her go but the respected her decision and on the off days that the ship gets reception to radio back earth or other ships she makes sure to message them back with well wishes.

Yellow (Zack) is a little shit lord, he is the youngest on crew at age 19. He got in through a series of events up to and including the fact that his parents were exasperated by him and that his Aunt Liz (who he calls Aunt Lizzy) telling them that they were short a crewmate. the previous yellow left and they were having trouble getting a fit for the crew's specific needs, everyone else was on different crews and couldn't leave to fill in their gap. They were planning to leave with nine people when Zack reluctantly signed up. He was 18 at the time he first signed up and after a year of training, he was greenlit just in time for the mission.

He doesn't really get along well with anyone but he slowly opens up to the crew overtime. He got labeled as a problem child because of undiagnosed ADHD and focus problems and by the time he was diagnosed it was too late and all of his teachers had basically given up on him.

The entire crew tho is cool with it because many of them are neurodivergent. Liz and Zack are the other Americans of the crew. But Elliot is the only one who is not bi/multilingual. Unless you count Texas accent as a language which a many of the crew jokingly do. In which case he is fluent.

But then disaster struck, after a few months of bonding and growing close as a found family people started to die. After some trial and error, they found out that Herbert and Zack were behind it. Liz and Eun-Jung being two of the few remaining both reacted differently Eun-Jung was controlled anger barely keeping it together and Liz was deeply disappointed, she wanted better from her nephew.

What was weird tho was after ejecting the pair their display panels confirmed that they were "imposters" and now that they thought about it it was weird that they were all locked to this one specific floor of this ship. but no matter that was a thought for another day. now able to go to the lower floors the remaining crew mates all went to bed.

The next morning however everyone was back and alive not even a scar remaining, even the imposters. returned. After a lot of shouting (mainly from Elliot who was pissed about being stabbed) the crew started to reluctantly trust what Hubert and Zack were saying that they didn't want to hurt or kill any of them but something made them and it was like they were in a haze.

It was only directly after a kill that they could snap out of it and control themselves briefly (kill cooldown) before they lost control again. Since then they've been stuck in this sick loop where they all keep taking turns being stuck as imposter killing each other. At first when it happened again, they thought it was Herbert and Zack again but once it didn't stop anything and the ship told them that they weren’t imposters.

They realized that it was randomized. Overtime they learned the rules. Only Imposters can access vents, the kill count, that they can then follow around and do things as ghosts after thy get murdered, etcetera. But one thing they didn't realize was the punishments.

Overtime as they each tried to break the rules by, revealing themselves as imposter, trying desperately hard to go pacifist, or any number of other things like trying to remove their helmets, or talk on comms before emergencies on meetings they were punished.

Philip is now growing plants off of himself. Eun-Jung has a similar punishment but it's solely cherry blossoms. Herbert is stuck killing everyone by eating them with a giant mouth from his stomach. I don't know Elliot’s punishment yet but the thought to make him Texan squared did cross my mind.

Angie is turning into one of those rad many-eyed angels from Dante's inferno. Jolene is now growing goat horns and her eyes are now goat-like. And Idk what other punishments to give Tea, Perry, Liz, and Zack, I want them to be related to the hats and stuff you can wear in game like some of the others but how to you punish some one using a banana? Or two kids? Or googles? I’ll probably come up with something later especially since they are all mostly hidden by the suits, that means that conceivably their punishments are hidden by the suits.

#among us #among us ocs #my art #i've lost it. bye ya'll I'm lost in the sauce #i'#I spent so much time while i drew them thinking of their dynamics and stuff and how the universe would work for optimal angst

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indiavolojones · 4 years

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what do you think the history between simeon and the sinblings is? like both parties hint at there having been a long standing friendship and theyre all on amicable terms with e/o even after the War (tm) maybaps left-on-good-terms-exes luci/simeon?? ex pet sitter / assistant /subordinate angel in training?? whatre your thoughts ?

hmmm!! I have a lot of logistics I haven’t worked through yet, but if you want to read an absolute dumpster fire of thoughts, it’s under the cut:

as it stands, I think that the only reason they’d send someone like Simeon along with a loose cannon kid like Luke is that Simeon is amazingly competent/devout. I’ve written about it before, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the Celestial Realm sent Simeon 100% with the intention of being a spy/to make sure Diavolo’s not up to any shenanigans.

(w/the added bonus of getting to see how Lucifer/the sinblings are all doing/if the Celestial Realm should be worried.)

the best way to keep their relationships intact post Celestial War would be if Simeon didn’t participate at all! like, if he was around near the beginning, but maybe he was unable to participate in the actual battle where Lucifer n the brothers fell. that way he could at least have some kind of plausible deniability in their eyes/wouldn’t be known to them as actively trying to shoot them down or be responsible for Lilith’s death lmaooo

here are my completely pulled outta my ass headcanons until someone gives me better ones lol (WARNING: IT GOT SUPER LONG LMFAO)

*additional warning, I didn’t do any prior research, this is straight up all from my dumb brain, so if it clashes w canon, whoops???

Lucifer: ALRIGHT *CRACKS KNUCKLES* I’ve expressed my headcanons before that I think Lucifer probably had a big ol Thing with Michael, and Simeon probably just knew about it. I think that Simeon had a big ol boner for Lucifer just like the rest of the Celestial Realm.

He’s obviously cautious at first because Lucifer is a demon now, and exhibits a lot more violent tendencies, but he’s mainly interested in the relationship that Lucifer has with Diavolo because the reports of Lucifer aligning with the Future King of the Devildom could potentially be a VERY BAD THING… It’s gotten a little more tense now that they’re… here. at RAD, but overall, he’s surprised to find out that Lucifer, while still an ornery old man, seems to fit in with the Devildom with ease/loosened up a little. If I’m still going by my above “Simeon is a casual spy” theory, then I think Simeon would be even more pleased!

Lucifer @ Simeon at all times is like /SUSPICIOUS STARE, even if Simeon is like, come now, Lucy. They have ex-boyfriend energy even if there was never any actual dating. Simeon is now able to tease Lucifer, unlike their time in the Celestial Realm where Lucifer had an entire tree up his ass. now it’s a more reasonable branch.

Mammon: THERE’S ANOTHER ASK ABOUT MAMMON AND SIMEON IN MY INBOX THAT I’D LIKE TO FINISH, but I love love loooove Simeon and Mammon being acquaintances. They knew each other in the Celestial Realm, again, not besties, but I don’t see Simeon being particularly close to any of the brothers except maybe Asmo. The biggest thing that makes me laugh is that I can see Simeon/Mammon talking about Lucifer in the Celestial Realm/at RAD about Simeon’s crush on Lucifer, but to Simeon’s chagrin.

Mammon @ Celestial Realm: he’s an asshole, you know.

Simeon: lovely.Mammon @ RAD after seeing Simeon meet Lucifer again: … he’s still an asshole.

Simeon: lovely.

Mammon may be one of Simeon’s favorite brothers, because despite the greed, his ardent love for his family warms Simeon’s angel heart ;~;

Levi: My own personal headcanon for Levi (and I’d really like to finish up writing my fic/meta for him) is that he was an angel in charge of guarding secret beasts at the bottom of the ocean! (and was a beast himself) So while he spent a majority of time in the human realm, it was in the ocean where he’d maybe get to like, see humanity from their boats a la little mermaid and ariel watching eric from the boat/on the shore? So spent like, 93% of his time alone, and the other 7% was reporting up to the Celestial Realm.

It was a prestigious job, an honor–but was lonely, and Levi hated it. Simeon probably sees him as someone that works in another department but also like, has no personal opinion because he’s never spoken to the other–but he has heard of Leviathan’s might, of course. Present time… Simeon is baffled by all of the brother’s changes, but he has no idea how to make the connection between the mystical sea guardian Leviathan to the otaku brother that never leaves his room? regardless of Levi’s ranking in the brothers, Levi is his least threatening/least assuming to Simeon. He can also see that Levi is kind, despite all his… strange quirks, so he likes him fine! :D

Simeon also has a reputation among the angels, so Levi probably knews of him too! There was no reason for Simeon to talk to him when they were angels, and there’s honestly no other reason for Simeon to talk to him now. It’s probably because of the exchange program trying to make them friends or something, but there’s… he’d never actually want to be friends with Levi, so that’s stupid.

(He doesn’t mind when Simeon talks to him about things, though, so it’s nice. Even if he’s sus of it.)

Satan: Since Satan was born after the fall, I feel like Simeon would know this brother the least! He’s incredibly curious to meet “Lucifer’s Wrath”, having heard many reports about this in heaven. He’s probably pleasantly surprised to see that Satan is far more charming than the initial reports of savagery from when he was first born. Simeon sees a lot of Lucifer in him, but there’s a more wild/freer nature to him than Lucifer’s iron will @ all times.

All in all, not a bad devil, but Simeon is reasonably watchful of him at all times due to his history. They get along fine in classes/they’re perfectly civil with each other! Satan probably thinks that Simeon watches him with a bit more interest than comfortable, but he also gets it. Satan wants to see Simeon get riled up though, out of scientific curiosity :3c

Asmo: This one is a BLATANT indulgent headcanon, not much canon to back it up except for that one time that Simeon said Asmo is still as beautiful as he was in heaven sflkasdkf. No idea what Asmo did before, but I’d like to imagine Simeon and Asmo were actually friends! Asmo’s beauty was widely regarded, and perhaps they would talk in passing? About Lucifer in most cases, lmao, but sometimes they’d chat.

Their distance when reunited in the Devildom is 100% Asmo being flippant about the fall, and being self conscious in front of his old friend about how much he’s changed. Asmo being torn between being upset to hear if Simeon thinks less of him for being who he is/aggressively “uncaring”. Who cares what anyone thinks of him, you know? He knows he’s beautiful. (But Simeon knew him when he was loved without being a sexual creature, and that… stings.)

Simeon thinks while Asmo has definitely picked up less than delightful personality traits, is actually… happy to see that Asmodeus still has his family around. He’s happy to see the other seems at ease, even if he doesn’t truly know the depths of Asmo’s insecurities. It’s a little offputting to have Asmo treat him flippantly/deny their past, but hey, he understands. There’s a lot of history between them, both their own and the sins of others. deep down, Simeon genuinely adores Asmo, and Asmo is CONFUSED by the fact that Simeon is trying to act like nothing’s changed when everything has! how dare he! is he mocking asmo! rude!

(somethin like that, idk)

Beel: Simeon worries about Beel’s ability to eat anything and everything as much as the next person. The gluttony is hard for him to stomach, being a holy prick and all, but Beel as a personality is obviously soft and tender, and Simeon thinks that’s sweet.

in current times, Simeon makes some great fuckin’ snacks, he loves Simeon. Simeon just seems like a pleasant dude, and Beel’s never really that interested in him past like, basic civil decency. Which is pretty funny ajskdjfas Beel’s memories of the Celestial Realm all probably revolve around his family/when Lilith was alive, so he’d distantly remember Simeon but it’s.. hard. that time is hard for him.

Belphegor: In the Celestial Realm, Beel and Belphie where honestly like… Lucifer’s kid brothers that he may have seen or interacted with a few times in passing. In present canon, Simeon is Very Aware of Belphegor. The biggest threat of the brothers at this point in time, especially after all of the murdering and timeline switches. He may not admit it, but he is keeping a Close Eye on Belphie, regardless of his sudden shift to adoring MC.

Belphie probably knew about Simeon, just because of Simeon’s rank but again, they’re… little brothers. (I’d love to see them being portrayed as a little bit older than Luke during the Celestial War? Just angsty teenagers Belphie and Beel.) Belphie has been distrustful of angels since the Celestial War, and it probably carries into present canon. Especially because Simeon watches him with a careful eye and Belphie isn’t fucking blind–but hey, he gets it too. He did plan to destroy the human realm.

I can see Belphie being the only brother to actively dislike Simeon–he’ll be civil at combined Lucifer/Diavolo threat for Lucifer’s sake, but also Belphie is a sour bitch and thinks Simeon is the snakiest one of them all. (not true, belphie, you’re projECTING!!!) obviously, this is all never spoken out loud and they all just exist near each other. cautiously.

lmfao because it would be like,

Beel: look at these sandwiches Simeon gave me!

Belphie: whatever.

LASTLY I’D LIKE TO @canonlucidia BECAUSE THEY HAVE SO MANY GOOD IDEAS, AND I’M SURE THEY COULD CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING MUCH BETTER!!!!!!

#ch: all #ch: simeon #hc #writing

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judehayward · 4 years

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lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music....

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight.......

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

#ruhqintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #drugs tw

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hoodwinkedtoohoodvsevil · 7 years

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OKAY i have so much to say about dm3 so here’s my #Thoughts (spoilers) IT’S REALLY REALLY LONG

tl;dr i loved it bc of course i did but if you want my spicy feelse it’s below the cut

OKAY i’m basically doin this off the cuff scene by scene from memory (i’ve seen it twice) but also touching on just. aspects of the movie as i think of them.

i’m gonna start by saying what everyone knows but idc i’ll say it until the end of time: I LOVE FELONIUS GRU SO MUCH OHHH MY GOD HIS EXISTENCE MAKES MY LIFE GOOD

ALSO!!!! RLY MAD AT THE MARKETING OF THIS MOVIE BC IT COMPLETELY /LIES/ ABOUT GRU’S INTENTIONS!!! HE HAS NO INTENTIONS OF GOING BACK TO VILLAINY AT ALL THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE HIS ENTIRE PLAN IS TO STEAL THE DIAMOND BACK FROM BALTHAZAR TO GET HIS+LUCY’S JOBS BACK SO BASICALLY GRU IS PERFECT

oky so i thought the movie was RLY GOOD it basically does everything good that the first two movies do. the girls are in this more than 2 which is a big improvement. 2 may always be my favorite just bc it’s mostly abt grucy but 2 has the biggest flaw of them all (it’s fuckin racist as hell) so at least dm3 isn’t as...flawed.

it’s main problem is that it’s got a looot goin on, which is kinda common for sequels (especially third movies onward) bc they gotta give existing characters that everyone knows/likes plots/development while also establishing/developing new characters. i don’t really mind this so much bc i like all the characters in this movie a lot. i do like some plots/subplots more than others but i personally was never like. overwhelmed. the only subplot i didn’t rly care about was the minions one but i’ll talk abt that later. it’s not terrible tho.

MY main problem (basically the only thing that bothers me when i watch the movie) is how soooo fast paced it is. like, i get that the other movies kind of are too, but i can think of multiple parts of this movie where it just would’ve been better to just. let stuff sit? like okay, i have some examples that i’ll address when i get to them.

okay actually goin scene by scene now

first scene is good it’s basically just the first trailer but longer. i’ve said this before but i had the clownfish part it’s the worst part of the whole movie. but at least it’s only like two seconds. agents grucy is still my reason for existence and i’m kinda salty they never called back to that but i’m still blessed. balthazar is honestly so fuckin funny and Truthfully i liked the part when he blasts (naked) gru away with his keytar way better in the actual movie than in the trailer bc playing jump by van halen during that part was fucking HYSTERICAL.

gru...is so fucking funny and extra. “i don’t want to waste another breath on him. AND ANOTHER THING!!!” honey please chill. also “you’re making me nervous” BABY NO

okaaay buuuuuut the scene after they get fired slays me. “honey, you didn’t have to do that, i know how much you love your job” “well, there are some things i love more” LITERALLY MURDER MY ASS GRUCY IS MY REASON FOR LIVING

also catch my ass overanalyzing what gru says and tracing it back to lucy’s backstory (her parents were killed by supervillains when she was very young for those who don’t spend their free time researching everything about dm canon). she didn’t just love her job bc it was fun, it had significant meaning to her and just. excuse me I’M NOT CRYIN

“we should really tell the girls...can you do it?” girl same

the luau scene isn’t new to me so i don’t have much to say except that I Love My Daughters More Than Life Itself.

OKAY OKAY BUT here’s an example of the too fast paced parts i’m talkin about. when gru tells the girls that he and lucy lost their jobs, i read the jr novel before i saw the movie and i thought that part would be/should’ve been slower. like when he goes “lucy and i were invited to...not work at the avl anymore.” like? it just felt like he’d be a little more hesitant when telling him. just felt like it should’ve had a tiny bit more weight to it.

also “and let’s NOT go to katie’s house anymore.”

listen. i don’t hate the minions catch my ass defending them most of the time but i’m so salty at them in this movie. i get that their purpose is to serve the baddest villain but they’ve been with gru for like 45 YEARS THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE FAMILY!!!!! aso gru has been away from villainy for like more than a year so can they just chill please. these minions ain’t loyal.

I KNEW DR. NEFARIO WAS GONNA BE FROZEN IN CARBONITE BC JR NOVEL BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE HE WAS GONNA BE IN THE EXACT SAME POSE AS HAN SOLO SO I LOST MY SHIT. AND WE NEVER SEE HIM GET UNFROZEN SO IS HE LIKE GONE FOREVER? RIP I GUESS

the take on me scene was soooo goddamn funny

lucy comforting gru saved my life. that scene was actually well paced it wasn’t rushed but it didn’t go on longer than it needed to. a+ scene.

i knew from the trailers that agnes was gonna sell her unicorn but i didn’t know she was gonna look so SAD WHEN SHE DID IT THAT DESTROYED ME

uhhh skippin a few scenes bc whatever. stuff we know from trailers. OH OH but “YOU TOLD ME MY DAD DIED OF DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN I WAS BORN” WHAT THE FUUUUUCK I LAUGHED BUT GOD WHY IS SHE SO MEAN

lucy on the plane tryin to engage with the girls. i’m so sad pls just let her feel like a mom.

gru’s private part

the first scene in dru’s house reminded me that illumination’s lighting is always KILLER that scene was so beautifully lit

DRUUUU INTERACTING WITH THE GIRLS WAS HONESTLY SOOO CUTE?? esp the part with agnes it just felt like genuine kid dialogue. i love. and “SHE’S 12 SHE LOOKS 12 AND SHE WILL ALWAYS BE 12″ oh honey (but same)

OKAY the most bothered i was by the pacing in this movie was when gru was like “lucy can i get a fuckin uhhhh leave i feel like garb” and lucy was like “honey just deal”. that’s another part i read in the jr novel and thought would have more. emotion to it. like it didn’t need to be heavy or anything but i remember feeling really sad when i read gru say “i feel worse than i did when i came here” but in the movie it just kinda flew by? ESPECIALLY bc lucy was immediately like “well, he’s your brother just try to get along with him”. like, okay, you just had a scene of gru venting to lucy about feeling like a failure so you’d think if she found out meeting dru made gru feel worse she’d be like “oh no i’m sorry this isn’t what you were expecting and you feel even worse now” like she doesn’t need to say any of that but even just. a pause and a facial expression can say a lot. just a look of sympathy and then trying to cheer him up or be more optimistic like “well he is your brother and you were so excited to meet him and you only just met like you might eventually be glad you did this” that kinda thing. it was just sooo rushed it felt like nothing when it should’ve felt like Something bc lucy knows gru’s been feeling bad and just. a little sympathy would’ve been nice and still could’ve led to the same conclusion. but shit we gotta save time for the minions musical number i guess.

speaking of that i’m just gonna talk about that subplot in one bullet point. it was the one i cared about the least and had nothing to do with anything really. i’ll admit the singing part is kinda funny bc idk what it is but they always have good song choices for when the minions sing. like make em laugh in the minions movie and now modern major general like yeah those are minion songs yknow. and okay it is kinda funny when they’re in prison bc they just IMMEDIATELY show them and they’re like runnin the place. i figured there’d be some kinda transition but nope they get there and they rule the prison. also the first class/coach separation in the plane was funny but i have to wonder what dictates whether a minion ends in first class or coach. but yeah like i said i don’t really caaaaare and i’m salty over the minions leavin gru anyway so fuck em.

OH OH OH BUT THE PART WHERE MEL MISSES GRU AND IS REMEMBERING GOOD TIMES WITH HIM LITERALLY MADE ME CRY GRU IS SUCH AN ANGEL!!!!! THAT WAS ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

okay rest of the movie. god this is so long i’m so sorry but i have SO MUCH TO SAY.

i don’t have much to say abt the scenes with gru and dru except i like them and i like their interactions. i didn’t think i’d like dru as much as i did tho i do see how people could find him annoying. i guess i’m just like. well i’m lucy and he’s part of my family so yes i love him.

“gettin my sea legs, matey” meeeeeee

SAD LITTLE BOOTS WAS SOOOO FUNNY

BAR NONE THE FUNNIEST AND JUST MOST CHARMING SCENE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE WAS GRU AND DRU PRETENDING TO BE EACH OTHER. everything about that scene gives me life. it was sooo genuine and natural like when they couldn’t keep it up and just burst out laughing. they’re adorable i love my husband and my brother-in-law they’re such children. i just love that it was gru’s idea bc you know when he was thinkin about twin stuff on the plane ride there he was like ‘omg what if we switched places and pretended to be each other to fool ppl omg that’s a twin thing’ but it was so obvious bc kids can get away with that but they’re in their fuckin 50s you fools.

THAT REMINDS ME steve carell was honestly so good in this movie. like he’s always good as gru but he was rly good as dru too like obviously they sounded similar but i was never watching it and thinking “oh this is steve carell talking to himself” like he voiced both characters well and obvs they had different personalities and that rly came through and just. i love you sexy grey hair steve carell.

scene with gru and agnes was so damn pure just. everything i want out of a scene with gru and agnes. thank u illumination for my life.

gonna talk abt the agnes subplot in one bullet point bc there’s not much to it. basically i love my daughter, she’s an angel, and i like that we just. have a goat now. also another animation highlight in the scene where she and edith are in the forest looking for the unicorn. that forest was gorgeous. and again, beautifully lit.

lucy defending margo REPLENISHED MY ELECTROLYTES

also when she was like “i gotta tell gru!” so precious omg i wish we could’ve seen her tell him about it that would’ve been so cute.

love the scene of gru and dru sneakin into balthzar’s lair. good stuff. I DIE WHEN DRU WAS FREAKIN OUT IN THE VENT AND GRU WAS LIKE “hey relax :) it’s gonna be fine :) i got your back” I WANTED TO SCREAM WHY IS GRU SO PERFECT

i don’t ship druthazar (sorry dm fandom) but i still leaned over to david when dru was sitting on balthzar’s bed and i whispered “that’s not the last time he was in balthzar’s bed” bc i‘m funny

AND THE BEST PART IS YOU’LL NEVER :) EVER >:( DO ANYTHING BEHIND MY BACK EVER AGAIN >:(( RIGHT HONEYBEAR? :)))

sometimes you want a unicorn. but you just get a goat.

i was ready to declare the part where lucy comes in just loudly singing and then goes “you’ve been a baaad boy gru” and smacks his face my favorite lucy scene in the whole movie but the it was balthazar disguised as lucy and i’ve never felt more betrayed

also how did balthazar perfectly mimic lucy’s voice? when he was disguised as the museum guy it was clearly trey parker doing another south park voice but WHATEVER

while i’m thinkin abt it trey parker was fine as balthazar i guess like he was funny but i used to watch a looot of south park so i would so often just her the south park in his voice and i was like Alright

THE CLIMAX OF THIS MOVIE MURDERED MY ASS!!!!! i looooove this movie’s climax it’s easily the best of the dm franchise. i never wanted to murder balthazar with my bare hands more than when he left the girls for dead and tried to kill an unconscious gru with a giant lazer. i was SHOOKETH. lucy jumpin across the giant bubble gum...balls or whatever to save the girls was the BEST SHIT. dru saving gru was so good i’m so proud of him...love my brother-in-law. and the dance fight with gru and balthazar SAVED!!! CINEMA!!! i was screamin oh my god..i know y’all know i love gru with everything i am but y’all he’s SO GOOD IN THE CLIMAX OF THIS MOVIE

as lucy wilde, i can confirm that after i ran up and hugged gru i was covering his face with red lipstick and also being like “balthazar’s dead right? like not just caught, fucking DEAD? RIGHT??” he either lied to assuage me or I Found A Way

AGNES SAYING “love you mom” TO LUCY AND LUCY BEING LIKE “i’m a mom!!” KILLED WHATEVER WAS LEFT OF MY SOUL!!!!!

tho tho tho i’m still UPSET that the girls call gru by his name and not dad...like you gonna call lucy mom WHEN U GONNA CALL GRU DAD I’M GASPING FOR AIR

lucy was very dtf at the end she was like gru say good night to your brother and let’s go FUCK (and then dru had to go and interrupt it smh)

i was like UMMMMM at first when watching the very last scene but then when i saw how gru and lucy reacted to it i was like okay i accept this. he better have just been staying temporarily at their house and going back to freedonia soon tho bc i don’t think lucy would like the idea of a supervillain living her house.

gru n lucy gettin ready to go in for the kill. love it. love them forever.

trey parker’s singing in hug me (the credits song) sounds too much like andy partridge of xtc and like 0 people reading this (if anyone’s still reading oh my god) are gonna know what i’m talking about but it makes it quite the Experience whenever i listen to it

speaking of this is the best soundtrack out of dm 1-3 i’ve been listening to it the whole time writing this

SO IN SUMMARY hi i’m lucy wilde, and my husband and daughters are absolutely everything to me. as a viewer balthazar is the most entertaining dm villain bar none (overkills excluded obvs), but as lucy wilde i hope he fucking dies for trying to kill my family. dru is a good brother-in-law and is also a gay icon. this movie came out in pride month for a reason. dru (a gay male) and lucy (a pan woman) are true mlm/wlw solidarity.

i’m fuckin.

i love.

#artie.txt #this is so...so long #i spent so long on this #i have many words #and they're mostly positive bc i'm EASY #dm #dm3

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fertile-delirium-blog · 7 years

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You know, everything I ever worked towards, care about, love or have been lucky to come across or been given an opportunity to, I’ve always gotten to a point where I fuck everything up realise where I went wrong or what I keep getting told I do or am and honestly everyone I ever believed enough to let in and be a bit of the real me or all of the real me, since I was little, I been trying to run from this sadness that I later found out is developed or called depression that I realise, I’ve never understood it, I never thought id have mental illness and I ran, I denied for so long.. people telling me I need help, I had a system that worked, a system that never allowed me to be verbally honest with anyone enough to actually get to know me , without the fear and what ifs that I now know is anxiety, funny I never really, really knew what it was but turns out the two together destroy my life, ever since high school, ive wanted to continually improve myself no matter what anyone said and the same time I maintained an image where I made myself make everyone view me the opposite of what I felt I was, when im angry, im actually upset, I made myself seem like I was okay enough n making it on my own so people wouldn’t view me as weak or a being who needed sympathy or attention or some street kid goimg nowhere when really, for too long all I wanted was to find where I belong n do what in my heart I felt n feel like will come back, be music that expresses things I can’t say or feels weird coming out of this mouth that isnt mine, dont feel right. Communication.. something ive never had real, experience with.. was mainly mute other than my outward image for my protection and other peoples shit for so many years before I met her, she made me want to talk, opened up n be the me I feel I am on the inside, but, how easy did I really think it was gonna be? …a lot easier than it was/is.. I’ve always been a lone wolf.. why did I think I could have a family life like that when… I convinced myself with this act I was over shit I wasn’t, that was my fuck up this is all before I fell in love and its funny… it’s a boy cries wolf story, she loved me.. I loved her but something in me didn’t let me properly love her the way I should’ve but if I knew then what I know, my god things would be different and this is what I was afraid of.. completely giving in to her that… I wouldn’t care about myself as much just wanted to make her n kids happy, that’s what made me happy that’s the reason for my being as the opportunity to do so after terrible things n times had us far away for a long time and realised that they the family I chose to have n m sorry I let you all down I’m sorry my bpd, bipolar depressive states is what im trying to focus on to gwt better, since I actually believed everyone but 18 years of unsaid, undealt with and put away in the black box f nothing, isn’t easy to unfold , realise grow, accept, change, love, heal myself and be what was wanted or needed to best of my ability, truth is with her, this focus on making my life a certain way disappeared, never thought it would happen.. i want to do n cater n help n just be n do or try to what it s she wanted if me, I tried I fucked up in the beginning, but still pay to this day.. sigh the balance of who I on the inside is out of whack n has changed.. I don’t think anyone ever did I thought I showed n expressed enough to understand, I guess, if im too sick to love I shouldn’t get on the way of where she wants to go n do, its a shame really, right girl wrong time, don’t care if we were meant to be or not the universe chose you that I loved that much I wanted to make a life, thins I did out of spite, jealousy, anger, major depressive states too much drugs or too long on drugs wasn’t really me, the me I thought you knew n loved was that you made me happy, only person to do that that’s not my siblings.. then there are your beautiful kids I’ve let down too many times.. idk what made me think I deserved you 3.. maybe the fact that I was hoping we all changed n we were happy, we were, that’s not fantasy, we had some great, great times ill never let go of wanted my career I chased for since I was a kid n ended up getting n wanted to have the normal family as well but I chose them in the end n always will but I gotta keep away for her, for them.. every time I get into this stupid certain major depressive state.. I do things to make it harder on myself but you know what the problem is.. the real me is hidden in a cube within and I can see everything.. and that’s not the real me. That’s something dark attached to me that wants to keep me hidden away.. so how do I defeat this other person I’m watching from the inside take over a beautiful physical being I don’t feel is mine and causing such pain for both her, I and my ex gf and her kids and tearing everything that’s mine (the inside) and hers(outside) causing such hate n was for each other n causes such distress for those who actually love me.. I would like you, any of you to hold my hand throughout me getting better.. but I also know I’ve had my times with help n no help n I run away.. I know how hard it is for anyone to love me.. or be there for me I want all to be happy n move on with their lives get And do things the deserve.. I don’t wanna hold anyone back jus because they care.. I’ve been alone since I was little.. may as well stay alone to the end.. cant bear to love.. there’s only her I will never have kids, it’ll always be them, don’t want to cause pain because I’m hard to love because I’m sad with myself n wanna make you happy same time.. god how did I get here.. I got nothing n no one.. at all n all I had before her was a dream I made into reality then set bar higher only to fall that fucking hard to be half the reason I hate myself and before that tried to be an accepted part of my family n moved on to my dream knowing my family will never know.. what ive felt, how low I sank at the age of 8, understand or acce ppl t me enough.. the most truth I can give them is that I want to die cos im not good enough for this world.. items are not feelings, being raped and beaten for 5 yrs of my childhood n being too scared to tell anyone due to death threats then once it comes into the open is apologetic and sad for then my mum gets angry at me cos she cant accept it sober,.. I do blame him.. but I also know that its my fault ive let him win and affect me as a person n how I grow for so long and being told o can do something bout it going to yoir mum n her telling me its no use they wont find anything too late to be then told 5 yrs later that, I can still do something about it.. and I havent.. all these little bits and pieces make sense from the moment of my mums impregnation to now that maybe, just maybe I was never supposed to have been born.. I don’t belong on this world, I was an unwanted mistake that had no friends got bullied, raped, beaten as a child to getting away from that man that is your brothers dad also and my brother ended up being my best friend mid teens to not even know what a friend is other than knowing not to let anyone know the bad I been through and alone.. always have been alone no one sees the me that stands behind this beautiful, sad but always fake smiling so i don’t seem so broken shell of mine.. no one can hear me but the people in my head and none of them want to let me out.. guess I don’t deserve anything else but being alone trying to fight people I can only hear.. if I used to see any of them..when I did see silhouetted bodies before I had too many drugs and certain.. things went away.. im sorry I blocked you out.. oh silhouetted bodies I miss you.. as scary as it would be sometimes.. you always helped me be strong enough for the next step, if it is you that torments me today.. why? And if it isn’t.. is it just mental illness?. Or is it so much more than that..

Was I killed or kill myself too early in past life I went straight through to this one??.. from the moment I was born I was not meant to exist.. im sorry to the people who love and care for me… none of you will see me again.. ill save you all the energy, the stress and the pain I’ve previously caused due to my own mind and my feelings but know if you could hear me.. not this voice of mine verbally.. but if you or i could translate it or if you could hear my inside voice I promise that all would be understandable.. no confusion, no bullshit, no actions I didnt make but she or they did.. they just want to break me.. all but one laugh at me, mock me, talk to me and then to her on the outside as a fucking game or to make us continually clash and that ruins me, my ex gf, and well because of all that I distanced from kids when asked.. and have gotten so far it breaks my god damn heart.. gonna be like my brother, like my sister.. cant be apart of their life, cant watch them grow but silently love all 3 of them silently from afar.. I don’t want anyone to love me and I don’t want to love anymore than I already do as long these people and depression n whatever else they say I got continues to win this fight.. hopefully at the moment.. they make m e want to die. For silence, no more memories, feelings and they make it known that this is not my body.. I a excluded from all beings.. even the one I reside in.. no support. Don’t want friends, don’t want family.. I just wish I could’ve gotten better for the ones I love and who love me.. im sorry .. I dont want a life anymore. I really realize .. I was not meant to.. I hope that everyone I love will hate me, already does,or will and can forget me.. I did have some real, real hapy good times with you mum, lola, jaiden, mia, rachele, LJh and TRh.. sorry Ive said and done some fucked up things and I hope if you do remember or think of me it wont always be bad because I had and was a genuine happy and fun girl at times. Especially with you guys. And im sorry if you guys dont know which ones are real and fake..im sorry .. I wanna get better but realising I was never meant to be here,n if I was it was to be alone n silent I was right tho.. im not here to have a life for me or make one for myself nd hurt people in process. I love in times of darkness and undenying voices… I dont need your care.. I dont want you to feel sorry I just hope when you think back on me maybe.. youll see the peaks of the inside me get let put due to the help from my outside n i ts something we don’t n wont talk bout..I wont make anyone put up with me just because they are or I am loved. Not anymore.. I love you all.. hope everyone gets what the want and deserve. And to the parents of whos kids I love as my own then just fucking distanced due to how I am not thinking boit if or how itd affect them.. im sorry fo all the wrong ive done by them but know how happy and grateful I am for you guys bringing them into this world.. we all know im shit at doing what im supposed to and moat times I was shit to them.. I dlnt k know if i t was noticeable but I did try.. but thank you for letting be apart of that and being “snips”.. and giving me a chance to love them and treat them like my own I wish I did better with all of you, their family, my family im sorry whatever this thing is im just sorry I ruined some good things and hurt people I love n who love me.. never again.

I love you all.. I feel like I didnt get to say it all.. but, o can’t keep crying.. I been typing for 2 hrs… I will be making another account and this will be my lalst post as mariah elrington. To the world and the people I love… im sorry. I hope ypu forgive me and see the good person I always tried to be I will love yo and appreciate you all forever.. im sorry that since I came to world I was doomed to be nothing but a problem but I swear.. I swear on everything… I always try to be better but fall harder.. doing this on my own and voices, my thoughts and the opinion of those who love me see the opposite to what im doing or how I am.. its really hard.. ive never done it this mentally tough before.. well on drugs trippin on non real stuff but this.. this is real life and for once, I dont have anyone to talk to even on a vague level.. not even a pen and paper.. this, this is all so o guess thank you tumblr idk how worst id be without you ..I love you all… this is the fkn truth.. I never meant for it any of it to be als bad as they are between my two families I love. I hope you can get it right, now without me, the problem, the burden,.the dralin and be happy I meam that from thr deep.side of my heart, I really hope I haven’t fucked it enough you wont recover.. but I may be a bit over my head.. they won’t care.. I mean they will for a short time,, but will be happy not long after no Im not saying im gonna kill myself, we all know I can’t. But none of you will see or hear from me again.. because I love you. And I love you alll im deeply sorry I couldn’t express or show it enough for that you guys to believe that a whole lot or know the extent of how much with how ive been but ti my blood family and made family… I love you all so much its because of you gus im doing this for you other wise ill never leave y'all alone cos I need y'all but can’t and won’t hurt anyone but myself anymore.. almost 3 hrs writing.. I still got more to say but gonna leave it there.. god damn it,I love you and I do hope my whole family have a good life n im sorry I ruined the parts of it that I did but be worry free I dont want anyone trying to reach out to me after this. Wil be ignored or unseen..

I love my families and im sorry I couldn’t get it right to be good enough well enough to not negatively affect you.

Have a great life, drink, party, love do the things you want and think o f me as okay if it helps just please,if you love me dont ever get worried.. dont ever assume anything just be be fucking happy, experience, travel, grow Chase dreams.. trust, they are possible no matter situation, lonliness or head space,long as you believe youre gonna.make i t real and do what you gptta to make it gappen, if some like me not even suppose to be alive can do it, you strong, smart beautiful family of mine I believe in you.. to all of you every age. and each everyone of you deserve it. The good fun or happy life with its obvious small obstacles that isn’t as stressful or hard t fix asits been as of late..

I am sorry. I love nd appreciate you all. And you will all always be in my mind And my hearts im sorry im too mental im sorry for all ive done.

I love you all.

Goodbye forever.. all 7 of you ill love always. Pls keep the good bout me in your hearts if you can’t forget. I miss you all like crazy wish I could see you all again to give a goodbye hug.. but a visioned one is gonna have to do. Know that’s the last thing youd recieve from me if that were the case.

Goodbye my precious family I loved dearly but took for granted and couldnt get better.. im sorry I put you all through so much. I really am I wish all of you could see how much love I got for each and everyone of you cos I know I didnt do that good of a job to make sure it was known but I hope it is not.. love you please be happy for me too, if its worth anything to any of you, cos idk how long it'll take to feel it again.

Goodbye fams.

-Mariah Elrington

#personal #this time for real

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thegreatandpowerfulsiggy · 7 years

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I have recently realized that my parents are actually #relationshipgoals and I thought we could all use a little reassurance that love actually exists. So here are some little bits of information about my parents.

•My dad is part of the reason my mom got out of her abusive first marriage. Her first husband supposedly never hit her, but he was verbally and emotionally abusive and my dad somehow convinced her to leave him. I don’t know if he talked I her or if he just showed her what a decent man was, but she did end up leaving her first husband. I met the guy once when I was six. He made me exceedingly uncomfortable.

•My mom is from a very blue-collar family in North Carolina. Her first husband, from what I’ve been able to ascertain about him, was basically a deadbeat who enjoyed skydiving. So when my mom finally told my grandmother she was dating someone new my grandmother was, of course, excited but a little concerned given her daughter’s usual taste in men. But then my mom said “he’s studying to be a doctor” and my grandmother almost cried she was so happy. My mom may have had a college education and was making ends meet as a horseback riding instructor, but now there was a possibility that she would always have someone to take care of her if the need arose.

•One thing about my dad: he didn’t break a hundred pounds until his sophomore year in high school. He’s also always been pretty short for a guy - I think he’s 5'8". I think my mom had had a thing for really “hunky” bad boys, and my dad was like 130 pounds soaking wet, skinny, bony, he wore old man pants which he basically wore over his chest he pulled them up so high, big 80’s glasses… He was basically the kid you’d expect to see walking around school with wet hair because he’d just gotten his third swirly of the day. So when my mother brought my grandmother to finally meet him my grandmother burst out laughing when she saw him. There was my mom - who is and was fucking gorgeous, btw (I mean she’s nearing 60 now but she’s still got this thing about her that makes you want to keep looking) - and then there was this walking string bean that looked like a shrimp had mated with the physical incarnation of the bubonic plague. Supposedly that meeting went very well and my father made a great impression.

•My dad is and always has been kid of a prude in all things - he’s pretty conservative (at least fiscally, because he genuinely tries to understand and embrace “new-fangled” gender theory and other religions and sexualities and all that), he was raised by a very strict father and a mother who just genuinely never gave a damn what other people thought of what she said, and he prefers classical/opera music to the Beatles or Aerosmith (tbh he hates just about any music that isn’t classical and/or opera). He’s a heart surgeon who hails from a long line of doctors. I don’t want to know how he handled sex, but I bet it was conservatively, too. My mom, on the other hand, was this 70’s hippie, free-love advocate who (admittedly) smoked a lot of pot and slept around a bit. She got her degree in recreational therapy (which is usually when disabled people are taught how to ride horses as a form of therapy) and became a riding instructor, but if she hadn’t done that she says she would’ve gone into music (she was a piano prodigy when she was younger, and she can still play pretty damn well when her arthritis isn’t acting up). She was also the first person in her family to even go to college. She likes Panic! at the Disco and Earth Wind and Fire. They seem so different when you put their histories and interests side by side, but they work so well together it’s scary.

•I have never seen or heard my parents fight. Of course they get into little squabbles over little things like my dad’s general aversion to ever spending any amount of money despite our relative affluence, but I’ve never heard them get into a major fight.

•My father worships the ground my mother walks on, and my mom says that he’s her best friend.

•My father has told me that the day he married my mom was the best day of his life. The second best was the day I was born.

•Supposedly, when my mom and dad got into the “lobby” of the church in which they got married, my parents cried together because they were so happy about the prospect of spending the rest of their lives together.

•My mom has always been a bit of a wild child. She doesn’t smoke pot anymore and she rarely drinks alcohol of any kind, but since she left her first husband she’s learned not to take any shit from anybody and to do whatever she wants with her life because nobody can own her. So, at age 58, she dyed her hair bright blue and purple. The hairdresser called it mermaid hair. The thing is that my father HATES unnaturally colored hair. He hates tattoos and unconventional piercings and makeup and perfume and anything that isn’t completely natural, as well. So my mom was a little concerned about what he would think of her hair. I mean she had enough confidence in him that she didn’t think he’d yell at her for dying her hair, but she still values his opinion and wants to make him happy. He’s never said anything about her hair. The closest he’s come to saying anything about it was to express his disbelief when he saw that the color stayed in after she washed it. She’s told him that the hair was a “mid-life crisis” and his response was something along the lines of “well it’s far cheaper than a Bentley.” He definitely had to get over the hair color thing when I came back from the hairdresser with bright red hair.

•My mom is a cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with anal cancer (yes, we do laugh about her surviving ass cancer) during my first semester of college. My dad took care of everything that she did. He cooked (sometimes, because most nights my mom just wants cereal or something similar), he did all the barn work (we live on what I can only classify as a hobby farm), fed and walked the dogs, took care of the chickens, waited on my mom hand and foot, AND worked for an ungodly number of hours as a surgeon. This man loves her more than either of us can ever know.

•Supposedly my mom decided that my dad was “the one” when they got into the car after having stuffed themselves at a Golden Corral. They got into the car, buckled up, and then SIMULTANEOUSLY undid their pants and slumped in their seats. Apparently they laughed for a very long time after that, but that was when my mom decided that she wanted to marry my dad.

•When I was diagnosed with leukemia at age four, a doctor or other hospital figure presented my parents with a very long list of couples who had divorced because their child had gotten cancer. My parents both very firmly told the person “no. We’re not divorcing.” To the best of my knowledge, they never even thought about it.

•My mom (my 58 year old mother) and I enjoy watching anime together. My dad generally dislikes all animation, be it Disney or a Japanese studio or anything. But he recently saw the two of us sitting in the living room watching “Howl’s Moving Castle” (if you haven’t watched it, it’s one of Hayao Miyazaki’s best works) and he sat down and watched the end of it with us just so he could spend time with us. I know that’s more of a family thing, but hey, my mom’s part of the family.

•My parents have always told me that I will be the luckiest girl alive if I can find a man who loves me even half as much as my dad loves my mom. (I mean idk if I even like anyone but the sentiment is nice)

•My dad is the world’s worst whiner. He can find fault with anything. It’s gotten him in trouble at work and it’s one reason he literally has no friends (other than his old college roommate, who lives in San Antonio, I think), but my mom always listens because she knows he needs to vent to someone or else he’ll end up punching more walls at the hospital (yeah, that’s happened at least once). But she eventually just told him “you are the world’s worst whiner and if you want to get through this *insert situation here* you need to shut up so the management doesn’t fire you.” Like I said, my mom takes very little shit from anyone.

•My parents are really thoughtful in their gifts to each other. My dad is always listening to what my mother wants, so ever Christmas, Mother’s Day, birthday, and Valentine’s Day my mom either receives jewelry, which she generally loves, or things she’ll actually find practical use in, like a huge fucking soup pot for whenever she makes her signature “dump-every-fucking-canned-good-we-own-into-this-pot” stew. My dad is actually notoriously hard to shop for because he has no hobbies or interests other than spending time with his family, shooting guns in our back pasture (I live in Texas, people), playing Windows solitaire, listening to opera records on his gramophone while he plays Windows solitaire, and very slowly reading books about various historical figures. And Monty Python, but we already own a box set of the TV show and the Holy Grail movie. So she always goes with historical books or things that are guaranteed to make him laugh. There was a “Behold! Fartacus!” t-shirt for one holiday, and this past Christmas she gave him a poorly-made coin bank shaped like a shotgun shell that makes shooting noises whenever a coin is inserted. She rarely gives him ties anymore because of what I call The Tie Incident, in which she bought him the ugliest fucking tie I’ve ever seen in my whole life despite my protests (I was only three and I could tell that this putrid green paramecium thing was an insult to life itself) and was then appalled that he hated it. All the tie-giving is left up to me now. Supposedly I have a perfect track record.

•There’s a kind of running joke about my father’s greeting card habits. Whenever he gets cards for me he fluctuates between making them really funny (at least he likes to think they are) or really heartfelt, but I can’t remember a single instance where he’s given my mom a card that wasn’t basically a love sonnet. He always picks out the mushiest cards for her, and even though we all joke about it, we all know he means every word written on them.

•This is the last one, and it is by far my favorite. I’ll probably make a separate post just for this story. My father is well-known for being exceptionally funny. Apparently this is not a recent development. When my parents were either still dating or they were very recently married, they wanted to go out to a restaurant. They get to the restaurant and the staff says “sorry, but we’re closed tonight because the hot water heater is broken and we can’t sanitize the dishes.” Understandable. My parents go back out to their car and get in just as another car pulls into the parking lot. My dad rolls down the window and gets the other car to do the same. Then, in his infinite intelligence and thoughtfulness, my father says “don’t go in there. The hot-weeter-hooter’s broken.” My mom immediately loses her shit and can’t compose herself for a solid six minutes. And just as she starts to get herself together my father just very calmly says “hot-weeter-hooter” and my mom loses it again. This cycle happens for what I can only imagine was around an hour. It happened at the dinner table at the next restaurant they went to and my mom laughed so hard that actual pot roast came out of her nose. The evening peaked when a very concerned waitress comes over to my mom and asks if she’s okay. My dad, in his infinite intelligence and thoughtfulness, calmly replies “oh don’t worry. She gets like this sometimes.”

This has been a list detailing why my parents are absolutely #relationshipgoals. Never give up on love. It may find you in unexpected ways, like in the form of a geeky med student boarding his unruly horse at the stable you teach at, or in the form of a gorgeous woman who asks you about treatments for bladder infections.

#relationshipgoals #relationship goals #my parents are the luckiest dicks on the planet

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