#idk what compelled me to make this idk idk dont ask i wont know the answer

[burntblueberrywaffles]

Fic tag game

got tagged by @fangeek-girl ❤️❤️

How many works do you have on Ao3?

I have 7 works but 3 of them are fanfic lol

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

1896 words total. Your girl is definitely one for brevity LOL

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Wednesday, that one drabble I made for The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, and I've been writing for Star Wars (though I haven't posted anything yet) and Mrs maisel (i wrote a whole short fic for that almost a year ago but I forgot about it completely until I found it in my notes apps, I should get around to posting it)  

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I don't have 5 fics total but here's my current count in order:

1-Lies

2-The world's a little blurry

3-Pretend

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes always! the fact that people are READING my stuff and taking time to comment has me 🥺🥺🥺

My writing ao3 isnt linked to my main email adress though so sometimes it takes me a while to respond because I wont see it until I periodically check my fic stats

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

.....Probably The world's a little blurry let's be real (I'm going to fix it it in the next one in the series, I promise!!!)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

akdadhjgsjgd hard to say all my shit is angsty, I guess Pretend?? kind of, it's less of a downer than the other ones. The final part of Come a little closer will have a happy ending though I promise! (already finished writing the end, I just need to write the beginning lol)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No ❤️ I don't think any of my stuff has gotten enough attention for that lol

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

NO my ace ass has no experience with that so I wouldn't know how 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️(I might need to in some future project, fortunately a lot of my friends are perverts (affectionate) so I could probably ask for some guidance if it comes to that LOL)

10. Do you write cross-overs?

No, I'm not a big fans of crossovers in general so certainly have never felt compelled to write one.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No

13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

So many ugh I cant even choose, it's more rare for me to actually finish something than the opposite, that's why I'll never post anything unless the whole thing is finished (only exception is my current series, but that's because I felt like each fic making up the series were self-contained enough that they didn't need to follow up immediatly to work? if that makes sense - plus the first one was a one shot and only thought of how to follow it up after posting it)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

ANIDALA MY BELOVED

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at imagery and emotion (being a poetry writer goes brrrrr)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS oh god I'm so bad at it. My fic are vibes only lmao, what are they wearing? where are they? what movements are they doing? NOT IMPORTANT how about I offer you 12 metaphors on how this character is feeling instead. (though I'm forcing myself to work on it haha)

I also struggle with any longer story arc... there's a reason all my stuff is so short lol

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it's in french it would be pretty fun since it's my ✨first language✨ hehe. For other languages I'd see if one of my friends speak it but otherwise idk if I'd include it bc I don't want to butcher another language, I've seen too many english authors put french through the ringer it's painful 😭

18. First fandom you wrote for?

I guess Julie and the Phantoms? I never posted it but I had a pretty advanced fic for that. unless you count the 13 reasons why fic I posted on wattpas when i was early teen but we dont talk about that

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

right now it has to be The world's a little blurry, I just love how it came out hehe

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

none right now.

Anyway tagging @nonamemanga @beri-allen @unlifeira @realmermaid333 @suchaladyy @witchysith @king-crimson-works @theycallme-thejackal and anyone else who might want to do it!

#tag game #burntblueberrywaffles

[spaciebabie]

What's the storyline for your ocs?

nerdy straight A middle school student katherine quin and her pals realize that their government sucks ass and b/c they are impassioned naive youth, entangle themselves in a state of affairs that will stay w/them for the rest of their lives

more under the cut b/c i wrote a lot more than i thought i would kasfjksdfjksfj (i have big feelings abt this story)

i (officially) made the story when i was 14! all the characters are based off me and my experience 2 some extent (especially katherine i mean i made her bi, biracial, gave her a mole, made her like indie games etc). originally the story was going 2 have a happy ending, but as ive grown i have more of an appreciation for....well endings that are not so happy. im thinking i change it. it would make sense w/what happens in it anyway (the story of revolution is not as happy and triumphant as 11 year old me imagined when i first acted this out w/my brother. honestly like ive changed the story entirely 2 be my own but i still gotta thank my bro cuz the orig storyline that inspired it when we played legos 2gether was a conjoined effort and i borrowed many of the characters)! as im drafting it now, the story is not particularly happy lol

the story tells a sort of generational loop that katherine goes thru? if that makes sense? i wont go too much in depth b/c spoilers but its a story of history repeating itself again and again and the endless loops pain and suffering cause and how people are scared/too comfortable/too angry to change the cycle. i think that katherine being a history nerd in the midst of watching history unfold again before her very eyes grants her a certain point of view other characters dont have (except a few who have lived experiences). although this awareness will come later in the story when she's older

it will also touch on something young folks feel 2day where ppl frequently ask, "why is this happening today? havent we progressed?" and katherine will ponder that herself (although the situations that happen in the story are strictly to the story ajsfsjfd i cant talk abt and link real life tragedies it would be too much for me). and i think that as she gets older in the story and gains knowledge and wisdom from what she goes thru, she'll hafta bear this horrifying knowledge that the sands of time dont just erode the past, but the present and future as well.

i was not expecting 2 write this much KJSFKJSDJFKSJDF

anyway! i care this story a lot. its like my childhood and has grown with me as ive aged. im really compelled to make it the best it can be and i get a lot of imposter syndrome b/c i know the ideas i have and the story itself as a whole is good, but im worried my execution will fall flat. idk its kept me from moving forward w/it or talking abt it for years.

tldr; two can basically be summed up by this image:

are things going 2 get better? can they get better? questions i think about as i write and think thru this story.

#spacie splains #in 2020 when i first started making comics i sort of rushed it. it still needed more time 2 cook and develop in my head #especially since? i threw myself in2 it and had no idea where i was writing 2 and i feel like you can tell from the first 50 comics #the vibe was not what i wanted #so after grappling w/it for months i decided 2 start over #i want two 2 be good. its my passion project. its been my hyperfixation for years. i want this story 2 b good. #whenever i Type Serious my textccent goes away LKSJGKSDGHSJKG #I WROTE AN ESSAY SORRY LMAO #thanks for this ask! talking abt this helped tie up some of the loose threads in my head! #now that im thinking abt it....would two be considered an AU of the original story me and my bro did? KSJFKSLDFJSKFJS #OR IS IT A REIMAGINING?? TOP 10 QUESTIONS SCIENCE STILL CANT ANSWER #I DONT WANT 2 HYPE THIS UP I JUST REALIZED THIS MIGHT BE HYPING THIS UP #DONT SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS TOO HIGH #IM ONE GUY WRITING A STORY #im definitely gonna make some mistakes #i just really dont want this story 2 be surface level or juvenile or the typical 'lets save the world!' narrative #i want it 2 be more #idk idk idk i have too many thoughts in my small tiny head #i spent so long writing this ask holay molay #i spent 2 hrs rambling ong

[narahairline]

🍋🥭🍊 :^)

#idk what compelled me to make this idk idk dont ask i wont know the answer #kiba #shino #kibashino #shinokiba #not really but like it can be if u want it to <3 #my art #comic #i refuse to believe kiba is a cop in the new era hee hee #blank period #naruto

[toxicsamruby]

hello! i have to ask: what do you think about supernatural au's where monsters don't exist/monster hunting is not a thing? do you think the characters could even exist out of that realm? i honestly have conflicting views on this because on one hand i do enjoy the character dynamics but i also feel it would be wrong to just take away something that is fundamental to this show, idk though

i LOVE this question. thank you. im going to write a very long post now

obviously there are infinite ways to interpret a story, right? but sam and dean (and castiel too of course) as characters are completely inextricable from their backstories, and their backstories are inextricable from themes of transience, poverty, loneliness, violence, familial duty, masculinity, otherness, american protestantism, horror, humanity, and monstrosity. i dont think that it’s Wrong to take away the monster hunting as an element in the story, but i DO think it would be bad storytelling to do so bc the fact is that these characters w these personalities wouldnt EXIST without a few VERY crucial plot points/themes. and thats a GOOD thing!! say what u will abt the writers (and i do. i do) but the early seasons do an EXCELLENT job of building characters who are inseparable from their stories, characters whose every action is reflective of the Story itself in a bigger sense, characters who are interesting because of the way that they’re used to tell that bigger Story. there’s a sense of cohesiveness between character and theme and narrative, and removing one of these aspects would lessen the other two. that is the mark of good storytelling (that, in my opinion, distinguishes seasons 1 and MAYBE 2 from all the rest; although funnily enough i think castiel’s arc in s4 is the best example of what im talking about outside of s1-2. but anyways).

without these crucial themes and narratives, who ARE sam and dean? why do they even matter? what’s the value of them as characters? aus that strip away all those VERY important themes and plot points strip away the actual artistic value of the characters, and reduces them to objects of the audience’s emotional whims. the only reason u have any affection for these characters in aus is because you know and understand the source material, and you remember why those characters STARTED to matter to u in the first place. this is something that happens in a lot of fanfiction i think: the most essential themes of the original work are ignored for the sake of emotionally expedient scenarios where both writer and reader can clock out of having to do a bigger analysis of the story and just focus on, for example, a certain ship getting together and/or having sex, or a certain character getting a happy ending. and like i wont deny that theyre fun to read! they are essentially transplanting already-developed characters from their already-developed stories into a new fun scenario without the themes and narratives that actually made the characters compelling. and sure, sometimes a truly good author offers us a compelling new set of themes and narratives, ones that are interesting and make us think, but i’d argue that the characters in those rare good fics are 1. not...really the same characters from the show, since the story they’re in has been so completely transformed 2. basically shortcuts for the author to cut their teeth on writing original fiction. in any case, a vast majority of fics that remove the themes and narratives of the original story DONT offer a truly satisfying replacement, so the point is almost moot.

my answer, in short, is that aus without monster hunting destroy the character-theme-narrative cohesion that all good stories require, and by extension doesn’t require either author or reader to think critically about the story as a whole. you know that joke that goes around about supernatural just being a crate full of toys that we’re all sitting around and playing barbie dolls with? that is what the fics ur talking about basically are. it isn’t seriously engaging with a story as a piece of art, it’s grabbing a few barbies from a box and putting them in different clothes. and i think the fact that supernatural does fall apart both thematically and narratively so early in its incredibly long runtime is what allows people to treat it as a box of dolls, because most of the time it seems like the writers themselves treat the show as a box of dolls instead of a story that deserves respect and care and thought. so i actually do understand the urge to play with the barbies, so to speak, and to a certain extent i dont even think it’s a bad thing. but i DO think that sometimes, especially online, ESPECIALLY with a show like this where the lines between genuine engagement with the text and playing barbie dolls gets so blurred, people actually start to lose track of which is which, and THATS what irritates me. people start to view the ENTIRE STORY as just a way to see their personal favorite character do what they want that character to do. the character (and their emotional attachment to said character) becomes the whole reason for the story, instead of the story being the reason for the characters. playing barbie dolls is fine! but it DOES need to be balanced out with actual engagement, with literary analysis, with criticism if the story needs it (and my GOD does supernatural need criticism!), and there needs to be an understanding of the difference between genuine analysis and personal loyalty to a character. 

like, not to be a snob or anything, but it is important to engage truthfully and fairly with a text. things arent good just because you want them to be good, and stories can only offer you genuine satisfaction and critical/artistic growth if you truly engage with them. engaging with supernatural means thinking/writing about monsters and the Other, and to remove monstrosity as a theme and narrative hollows out the story completely.

#writing this post was the most fun ive had all day thank u SO much for sending it #sorry i love literary analysis!! as if its my fault!!!!! #asks #crit #i guess?? i dont have much of a tag for analysis that ISNT criticism LMFALSDJFKL

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

[misterbitches]

i keep thinking about this and coming to more conclusions like both as an artist and me. 

we always think first about the aggressor and not the victim. so, for example, with history 4 and yong jie what will their relationship look like now given the trauma? if they have no interest in fleshing this dude out and having him just be an annoying clingy little ugly bitch then acknowledge that pain and how it will affect them. it’s so easy for xing si to get over being raped? what about xing si’s relationship with his mother? what about the fracturing this does to the family when there’s an intense violation that was aided and abetted by the mother?

that would be far more fascinating trying to figure out and they could still have them be together if they so desperately need it but they can’t ignore everything. that means the trauma will permeate through every part of your life. it’s hilarious that so many fans say the portrayals are realistic because they are not. these shows do not have the time and many of the writers or producers do not have the care or prowess—or will have to cut things to please the state—to execute this. they expedite the healing process but we are left reeling. 

in film school one of my teachers was always like, “what happens in the world when the film ends?” and this is something to ask. are we approaching it from: a man falls in love with his brother who raped him and the mother encouraged it and the shock and taboo of that or are we approaching it from a man is forced and trapped into a rship and stockholm syndrome and how that plays out. even if they stayed together even so it would give us more reason and understanding and then we see and know the foundation is built on nothing but darkness and may never recover. after this chapter ends  there may be destruction; it’s possible because that’s how it all started.

but after this story ends, in the way it is presented, what will happen? it’s not just entertainment and that doesn’t mean it’s as big of a deal as i think it is even as i write these things. these are just things to keep in mind and things i think the younger viewers absolutely need to see. for themselves like as creative people and enjoying the media they consume and seeing what works and what doesn’t especially when a work serves a purpose. nothing is made for no reason so don’t expect it to be. to me i’m like: why was this made and what could have been better? 

there is NO improvement which is why we run around in the same circles. the way to untangle that is being clear about the message and its faults. the audience can’t be clear about it if the show isn’t doing its job for a team of professional fucking writers trying to entice people by poorly approaching topics and leaving them empty handed. life is not as hollow as these things make it and yet we eat it up hook line and fucking sinker. 

time and time again we see what these things must establish and how far they can push themselves. it isn’t until the material world gets better that we see a turn in the media but time isn’t linear. sometimes things are worse in years, sometimes things are better. these tropes last because they are a direct reflection of life and the failures in society. so of course it’s about the perpetrator and how they can get their prize but not how we can manage these things when there is a clear victim and we pretend like it isnt there under some sense of potential reform. 1. people do not need to be reformed in a story and that isn’t what this needs 2. is that compelling? 3. yes morally grey things exist but this is not morally grey when it is a violation adn that person’s action was not morally grey. there was a victim and he neeeds to be away from that victim. if he is going to stay we need to see the affects of him being there as real things and there is nothing realistic about that. in no fucking world would someone like xing si a grown adult fucking man be able to temper things that quickly as in the show. NONE. that shit lasts forever but we are supposed to see them kiss and be liek “aw wow morally grey” like what about him is morally grey in relation to xing si? specifically. whihc is the personhe will be with forever.

no it’s how do we get ourselves to see him and engage with him. you can engage with him or be enraptured sure but that doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean the writers are even doing anything with it! i’m glad eveyrone can garner there own idk ideas or get what they want out of a work but what about the victims? what about the relationships? what happens when the story ends? what are dinners like? cos their lives don’t stop when it’s not being recorded (as in these worlds we are shown are always going to exist so they continue on even without us seeing it. so the characters don’t have a stop point we just usually see their happy ending and many times with shitty relationships it’s like why are we here now?) at this point it’s comical and it’s boring. 

there’s a film i like with cameron diaz where she falls in love with someone who kidnapped her for a job. there’s no perosnal connection which really helps as well. he did it for a job, doesn’t know her, they fall in love. they get together at the end. that still affects her but it’s also way less psychological trauma then somoene stalking and grooming you and violating you and trapping you by direct action and constant manipulation. there’s no way to turn that around and it’s even worse when you try to with literally no other explanations. like who are these fucking characters and why should we even want them to continue to be here? yong jie could have even been a vehicle to help xing si like idk unpack everything in his brain in a helpful way even through his violation. they chose none of that lmao i could write a better fucking script and im a moron

why should we believe in their love? why should we believe in yong jie? why should we believe in any of these people when they don’t prove shit to us. they just exist. why is that interesting? why do we root for them? that’s certainly not something they even asked themselves cause they sure as shit don’t know. the writing here cannot make up its mind on its own morality and i think the idea of morally grey only works if you have a fucking idea of what you want to do not just throwing shit at a wall. and we feel something for these “morally grey” characters—frankly this term is also a mistake because it’s so much about good/bad and ignores history and peoples lives and what leads to events and it is a super WASP-y concept in its current iteration anyway with a belief that punity is justice when it is not. that is why i say get the fuck away from this dude instead of going to jail. we could see yong jie grow but FUCKING OUTSIDE OF XING SI.

aey from lovely writer is one where im like wow i feel so bad 4 u i think ur gonna like kill urself someone get this messy ass bitch some help. people hate this kid and they totally can! i feel bad for him! dont love him and maybe i wont even want the best for him but rn im like “omg i dont want u 2 die sir.”

i dont feel that way in many other shows. i feel fucking nothing for these men. not yong jie and not even the old guy from modc im just like ok you exist and i’m going to ignore you. there is nothing in my chest lmao. i look at them and feel cold, couldnt be drier, cos it’s stale and boring and trite and nothing new at all. it’s not realisitc and it’s not even entertaining. it’s just...there. 

i mean it’s there with the reminder of “oh man i am not interested in your love story also isn’t your boyfriend like 40 and you’re 17? why do you like each other again? does this kid have parents? Wait, what’s happening? uhhhh am i supposed to like this? where are his parents? what’s gonna happen when he turns 23 and realizes how fucked up that shit is? can we see that?” and before u know it the sex on screen is over so that was just unpleasant all around.

and i cannot give u a single reason for so many couples why they like each other. like literally what on earth is there for the two of these people to be attracted to. at least one is being swayed by power but what’s the other one doing? oh nothing he just sucks? ok got it.

if we don’t approach it from a “how do we get people to like a shitty person or a person who does things that harms others” it continues on like this. questioning questioning questioning the comfortableness and never thinking about what the fuck the victim can do, what the fuck is even going on in their heads. and if they can’t do that then we go back to the question: what is the purpose of it? if the answr is “just because” then you have a failure on your hands and a lot of annoyed people. sorry not sorry 

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #lovely writer #a thot

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

[oneflydude]

im so sorry this is literally my third post about voltron i havent felt this compelled to talk about a show so much lol

im just gonna be rambling about really random things so uh, if thats your thing then go ahead and read on adventuerer!

okay so like halfway through on of the episodes i had an epiphany about how the team would name things.

okay so basically, keith would be SO boring with naming. like i mean he didnt even bother naming Kosmo for TWO years because he thought that the wolf would, and i quote, "tell me its name". which i mean yeah its a magical space wolf but it doesnt exactly talk keith. i can just imagine him being like

"hey keith, oh you have a new pet! nice whats its name :)?"

"... red?"

he would 100% just come up with a random name on the spot if someone asks and just go along with it cause he cba.

lance would put so much effort into finding the perfect name. like i KNOW, i can just FEEL like he would scour the internet for names with meanings that sound cool. or maybe im projecting. idk either that or he would choose the dumbest name imagineable, like sandwich.

allura would choose a name steeped in mythos and history. or like the name of altean royalty or something.

pidge, as per her amazing chip naming, puns. something funny or techy. or maybe the name of a video game character, i feel she would do that.

hunk is totally a (i forgot the word lmao) and would name things after places hes been or people he knows. or maybe he would name tings after alien foods, they do make pretty interesting names. that or he would name it after something maths based, like the uh fau something lines.

literally have no clue how shiro would name things my mind is pulling blanks

in that one dungueons and dragons rip off episode i was literally in TEARS at the fact of all the things he couldve been, lance made him self a CATBOY. A CATBOY!!! lance struck me more as a dogboy but like, catboy lance is canon now i dont make the rules.

like yk that scale on ig thats like, how much a character is a cat or dog person. yeah lance is catboy.

keith is dog cause he literally owns a wolf. pidge would hate cats so dog, and hunk is like, in the middle????

allura is definitely a cat person. her vibe screams cat person. coran seems like a dog person? or like maybe a fish person. he would own a fish. or maybe pidge would own a fish, idk.

shiro is a dog person, 100% his vibes are person who owns a huge dog. a huge, big fluffy dog that looks like it could kill you but probably wont.

pet peeve, but why didnt they change suit colours when they changed lions? i get that its probably so people can still tell whos whos since theyre all like colour coded and shit but come ON. it makes no sense and looks really weird when someone in a blue suit is literally piloting a RED lion. like they even switched BAYARDS BUT SUIT COLOUR?? NOOOO. and i get that allura wearing pink is to "honour the dead" but it just feels like an exuse for her to be in a different colour so they can differenciate her from the team.

idk it would be much cooler if like when you switch lions, your suit colour magically changes as well. idk. it would also be SO funny cause like everyones used to certain people being in certain colours so imagine during when lance is in the red lion and his suit is red so someone thinks hes keith and idk some hijinks ensue.

i know its a very small peeve but still.

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld #vld rambling #vld shitpost

[1990jeevas]

ok, part two of random questions, after Niki and Wilbur, who is your favorite member of the dream smp? What is your favorite Wilbur(ghostbur or alivebur), and why? What do you think they're hugs are like(you chose which character/person from which ever fandom)? what was the last kpop song you listened to? and finally, what's your favorite type of pen(ball point, color, rubber grip, those ones that give off a lot of ink, etc..)? thank you for answering my asks btw, love you!!/p :) - 🐝✨

favorite members of the dream smp (besides wilbur and niki)?

ranboo, tubbo, tommy (who wouldve guessed! /s /lh)

which is version of wilbur is my favorite?

alivebur bc I find him more relatable and I think his arc is a lot more compelling (that's just me tho)

what do I think [character of choice]'s hugs are like?

okay so I'm gonna do this for one of my kins, craig tucker, bc um. idk I miss him and also I think if he gave hugs similarly to me that would be cool so: he's the kind of motherfucker to not hug anyone first bc he's scared he will make somebody uncomfortable/the affection isnt warranted. when somebody does go to hug him, his immediate reaction is awkward laughter purely bc he's so unused to hugging people. once he settles into the hug, it's still kinda awkward bc he doesnt wanna hold on too close, incase they wanna leave. that being said, he wont leave a hug first bc hes a touch starved motherfucker. if the hug goes on long enough, he will loosen up and kinda slump into it, maybe squeeze back a little firmer tho. since hes a tall motherfucker, he'll probably make himself shorter for the other person and stay like that, even if its uncomfortable. after the hug is over, he will do more awkward laughing to try and joke off the affection like the lil bitch he is.

last kpop song you listened to?

once again by nct 127

favorite type of pen?

theres these specific type of black ball point pens that I like for inking art bc they're smooth but also dont give a lot of ink which will get super smudged. idk what brand or anything specific, I just know we've had literally hundreds of them in my house throughout the years and they're sexy as hell. pretty sure uts ball point but I'm not really a fan of ball point pens otherwise. I'm not really a pen person in general, I just use mechanical pencils for the most part.

thank u for all the asks!! ily <3 /p

#shit self #asks #craig tucker #dream smp

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[jungkookio]

bias tag game

hoooooooo boy so i was tagged by @hoodiejungkook​ @literally-just-yoongi-trash​ @aragyeom​ to do this... y do u want me to expose myself like this

Rules: write down the last 15 associated tags with your bias.  

yoongs:

#take his belt and choke me with it

#not to be nsfw buti have an undying need to fucking hug this man 

#when wiwllhe start capitalising on his sweat as a highlight tbh #i wna tthtta glowhgngnnfngngnghhggghhg #why is my grandpa man so hot ti rlly wanan dfckkin d8 him

#omfg fuck off #look at him hes a dumpling #a soot ball #he owns the key to m heart #honestly im rlly soft over my boys tonight #im cryign in th club

#im sorry but he looks like that sailor moon 'but you didnt do anything' meme #but like hot

#im... rlly out here loving this loser i cannot believe myself #i fell in love with some grandpa infant hybrid #look at this pingu lookin ass god i love him so much

#who let this emo kid out the house #wheres his mum

#c hoke #what the fuck wjat the fuck #when will he fucking spit on me #whatthehfuxuckgoddddddddddddddd he #what the fuck i swear everyone wants me to roll into a coma and fucking die #i hope ifkckng choke seriously what thejfuck is thsi #what is his problem why is he like this

#thsi is the begsat theing to evr hapoenr yi me shsudjrnshjsjrbndkansb pleaese

#ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god you own my fucking heart #u cld own my kidney too if u ever need it just ask

#i want him to tuck him in n kiss his forehead but i also want him to spit in my mouth u feel? #probably not #kinkshame me

#okay... he gettin thicker #i love my man's pancake ass okay #im eatin well tonight !!/1!!1/! #nourished !! #acvdhdjsjbdbsjsj hav i evr mntiond i hte mslf

#i love him so much ohmygod  #!! fuck !! #m heart went nyooooooooooooom  #💟💖💗💕💓💝💟💓💕💖💞💗💟💖💕💞💓💝💟💕💞💓💝💟💗💞💕💗💟💓💝💕💗💟💖💖💟💕💞💓💖💗

#m heart just launched outta m chest #idk wht t doabout it tbh #i... need that

#ohmygodohmyogogododdoohohoh #hooh my fuckicjg n god #im fucking malfunctioning btixch #bwaht the fuck he looks so fucking goood #hes rlly rpepin the gays again inhis flannel #an icon #he looks like a billion fckng dollars bitxchm im rlly choking #im gna eat a fucking shoe i love him so mcuh #godthey rlly mad ehim blond again #i dk what to domblond yoongs has always been m favourtei #n im alwaysh fucking screaming about it and bitch x hes rlly blodn n im rlly crying because fuck #hhes in his fckckng prime okay #hes th mc of m heartmcnncnnnnnggggggggggggggjhsbdhjbfhbnj

jungkook:

#i wanna punch him in th face #but with lovecause i love him so much  #i cld never hurt him #honestly i'd much rather him sucker punch me in the jaw #look at him he's such a shit but he's my favourite #eugghhdghhdhhhhjjhhjhj 

#he cld crush a bitxch with those thighs #(its me) #(im the bitxch) #(please crush me)

#fucking b e a n me #rightin th fckn skull #just straight up fucking murder me #what kinda zoom #its all so shiny #hes fckng gleaming #his shirt is fcking gleaming #meanwhile im constructing my coffin while i wait for him to b e a n me #the fuck

#biyxch his tiddies bigger than mine

#its always th lasttwo gufs that tip me over the edge #m reachign fr th mfing gun bitxch #i hate this shirt n its aphrodisiac bullshit #oyster juice #it had to have been soaked in fckng ousyetr juice #can u hear my inner turmoil sis............. this shirt has victimised me #the shirt #it strikes again

#wow look its my emo boyfriend

#ggggggggggggggno the shirt can fuck off #whoever manufactured it #you know what no it wasnt manufactured #it was hand crafted by satan himself to fucking tempt me to evil #show me a single fancam of mr jeon fucking jungkook in that shirt where he doesnt look at one with the fucking devil #find me one! #i can guarantee u wont find any bitxch #possessed #absolute blasphemy #i hope i fckign burn in hell

#the second gif is him throwing my heart out the fucking window

#ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my gohd how can he be this cute while literally drnched in sweat #ion kno but hes gleaming #shining #glowing even #he hsa no faults #look at his smile it cld make flwers grow fck off #n the stars are in his eyes #all of them #im real emo tonight #hes so bright #the most beautiful boy #a baby #my best baby boy in th whole wrld #i wld gv hm m everythng #i love hm so mch m heart is so full #im nourished

#this era makes m choke on air #he was so rude the entire time i really hsatge bjgbnkgjbnfdkjbdfj bjbngnbkgnbkgfkbng #...gotta go #i hope he *** **** ******** ** *** ***** ** *** **********

#jungkook is so cute i love him so much what the fuck #he is the purest mostwholesome lil fella ive ever seen #his gecko friend :(((( #bitxch #search: how to be a gecko #hes so excited wgdhjb #'this one is a different guy!" #what the actual fuck jungkook rip m heart out y dont u #he saved m life wow #bad day who? dont know her #m never gna b sad again

#oh my god someone get me out of his ass #i'm too far #so far up his ass

#ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm????? #i want him to dropkick me down a flight of stairs

#i want to fuxjckxking die and be dead get this photo away from me #what the ever loving fuck #are you seeing jungkooks arm??? are u seei g it #cause biyxch i am and i choxked #i hope i die #ababsbndnenjabsbsjjsnsl ouc h

#hes like my age in these photos whahat the fuck #why do noboys near me look exactly like this with this exact personality and this exact dna

jimin:

#he looks like a sad puppy and im not having it #ill fight the fucking rain #ill punch a cloud i dont give a fuck 

#i wld step on a lego brick for u

#omg hs lilcrooked tooth #im ugly cryign bitxch #thats it im cryign in th club fr real

#im screamign outta my ass #what the fuck jimin #what kinda extra ass #he did a fuckin split to try and kick a golden glittering pompom #this is gay culture

#he looks like a rich housewife #please step on me

#his fucking n e c k #look at it fuck #what the fuckim..... #im rlly reaching fr th fckng gun sis jesus hcirst

#@nasa i will pay you to launch me into th fckng sun bitxch 

#can he maybe... jump like that again... on m fuckin head 

#i swear hes like... made of gold and honey and stardust or smth what th e fuck

#i literally just said oh my god under m breath #buyt i cldnt get th words right so i just sorta went ohgghg #what the fuck

#this is some chaotic evil behaviour right here what the fuck jimin

#perfection? on my dash? its morelikely than u think!

#i hope i die immediately right now this very second

#can he punch me in th fucking throatplease #i will pay him to straight up fucking deck me

#oh my fucking god im #he #whatthe actual fuck is this?????? #what the fuck is thsi ?!??!?!?! #no #ihave truly had e nough of this shit ajshdbjdbnjfkfl #i become a fckcng jimin stan and this is th shit i get in return???????? #chronic agonising pain #yes thnk u jimin thts rlly what i fuckcing signed up for #this was not part of th fucking contract #i just wanted a cute squishy boy with a lil button nose #n mybe a bit of sad contemplation #i did not want !!!! sin !!!!!! #in my christian household????????? #blasphemy #this is fucking blasphemy #the power of christ compels you #fuck wheres the holy water bitxch #this boysjhdbfjhbfjbjgbjbfbflk #u kno what fuck it if this is what death feels like sign me th fuck up #guess ill just die bitxch

do u ever just look back at your past self and think... is she okay

im tagging: @namjoonsgalaxy @blumiin @minsuga--genius @velvethoseok @hobisnovia @gukiee @itskimtaehyung @parkjiminivan @jiminyoongs (if u want !!)

#that was fuckign wild... #thanks for tagging me #tag

[almostbiracial]

update 7?

! okayyy. to start off im doing okay. ive been working and school is almost finished and so far i havent had any suicidal urges since months ago nor have i had those special suicidal thoughts cross my mind when i go places. however, i have been just more manic lately like idk what to do with myself. the closer university approaches the more anxious i am and the more sad i get. the idea that i couldve just went to college and transferred to uni afterwards to save money constantly rolls over in my mind. everytime i ask my coworkers where they go to when i meet them they respond with college and say they will transfer afterwards. i dont know why i felt compelled to go straight through uni despite me being really below average in everything. thats a lie bc i know it has to do with my father and the whole disappointment thing. technically, i couldve taken another year off and reapplied somewhere else and just lived with my uncle but that bothered me bc 1 hes going to ask about my relationships and i dont want one and 2 it just made me angry that i wont be in school for another 2 years. im trying to come to terms with the process of school again and any father related thoughts but i wish i had some guidance. im feeling the need to cry again which i hate bc i dont normally do it and it makes me feel vulnerable. i hope i feel better when i go shopping atleast. next is the problem of free time. in my spare time ive just been sleping which isnt bad persay but like it gets me feeling weird. i want to start playing the ps4 ( or trade it in for a ps4 pro) but i feel like the section is bare :/. i think ill get into more combat/shooter games like destiny and titanfall. i wish there were fun adventure games. i need to workout too but thats for later in uni because although im eating better than i used to im not gaining any mass at all. i have to consult a doctor or something. next is friends. im content with my friend group although we’re all busy like idk when thats not gonna happen seeing as how we’re all going back to school soon. i wish i had more? im not displeased though i love them and wish them the best. but since we’re all broke i guess it makes sense we need to work alot. i need antidepresseats but that requires me consulting a doctor or something. i guess ill do that before school starts up :(. lastly, idk how im going to be able to pay off uni (and consequently med school (haha) if that ever happens). to be honest i just want to work with kids and young adults and offer support or something that i never had fully. the stress to get some 100k+ job is far too much and im content living in an apartment with my adopted pets. i do want kids though but i dont think a relationship is for me. i dont want to wake up to someone that doesnt love me anymore or is willing to hurt me in any way. if i get through life ill adopt. peace!

[okashiras]

finished watching お早う 

and it’s such a delightful little film wow! i can’t believe i’ve been putting off yasujiro ozu films for so long. maybe i’m afraid i’ll like them? and i do. wtf is wrong with me, idk.

this isn’t a fucken review im just mindlessly rambling dont read (literally did no research whatsoever so leave me olone)

when i think of classic jp cinema, i’d immediately think of akira kurosawa who is of course a master in his own right, no doubt. but i think it might ozu who captures japanese-ness in the subtlest ways.

a notable trait of a classic ozu film is how (in scenes within the household) the camera angle is slightly from below, as if you’re sitting on the tatami mat with them, makes you feel more involved. i’m not sure if this would work as well had it not been in japan? moreover the actors’ movements are so meticulously directed to maintain the flawless composition. etc etc. i remember seeing a vid compilation of ozu films on vimeo where people are just passing thru in the frames and it’s so goddamn fascinating.

(i was gonna attach pics but tumblr wont let me but it’s so pretty. source; trust me)

ohayou is about... so there are these brothers who wants to ask their parents to buy them a television so they won’t have to go to their neighbor’s to watch. the parents are like nah, but the kids demand, and the parents are like ‘shut up you kids yall talk too much’ so the kids are like, ‘adults talk too much too! yall keep saying ‘good morning’ ‘sorry’ etc wtf is up with that fam’ and then they decided to not talk as a protest until their parents relent and buy the tv. 

i’m not well-versed with the history and culture of japan, but i feel like that’s maybe a low-key critique on their society. how everyone’s like overly polite but there’s some motive behind it. maybe a critique on the pleasantries culture?? idk.... anyway, the kids not talking was blown out of proportion by the neighborhood and made assumptions about their mother holding grudges. it was not the case, of course. but i think it was nice how the two issues were juxtaposed like, the adults took it to heart and were dramatic abt it, while the kids were simplistic and resolved easily hehe. there was also a part there about retirement and shit.......which i didn’t get completely but anyway,,,,,

iirc from the 30 mintues i’ve seen of early summer (LMAOooo) the issue there was industrialization and capitalism and shite making u forget ur fam and shit. so yeah ummm what’s the point of this idk

but anyway it’s funny how, there’s like, nothing... happening. so my shitty storytelling is justified. but that’s the point. this mofo yasujiro ozu literally had his gravestone say 無 fuckign boss. in a way it’s a true depiction of life you know. it’s like little moments in between a bunch of nothings. i think it’s bold of ozu to show the nothings and make them really interesting and pretty yet compelling.