#if only I didn’t need sleep

[fantasyoverreality98]

now I remembered why I’m not supposed to consume/think about too much angst

#it creates a monster #the plot point I just came up with for my wip is amazing and is going to hurt my own feelings #falling in love with a ghost is about to become something I’ve written #didn’t think it would be here we are #thank you a route for inspiring me to become angsty again #but now the real struggle is choosing between playing the other routes and working on my wip #it’s been YEARS since I’ve had it within me to commit to writing #and I don’t want to waste this inspiration #but also I really really want to play my other routes #if only I didn’t need sleep #or didn’t have to work #alright fine I’ll try to split my time #first half of tomorrow I’ll do some reading and then I’ll write and then I’ll read some more #sounds like a plan to me #ahhh I’m excited that I actually want to write though #maybe if this keeps going I’ll finally get around to writing the twc fic I’ve been contemplating for like a year #who knows the future is full of endless possibilities #but first I think it’s time for me to go to sleep #wow there’s a lot of typos in here just ignore them

[cuepickle]

I literally cannot stop watching House MD right now please send help

#episodes of house be like #house: *drops cane on patient’s groin* #patient yelps in pain #house: hurts doesn’t it. maybe if you didn’t sleep with Em #you wouldn’t need an MRI! #*door slams open* #a woman enters - followed closely by cuddy #mystery woman: dr house? you’ve been served #house: served? as if id let anyone serve me at this hospital. the food here sucks #cuddy: not food - papers! #house: paper? the only paper I see is your paper thin SHIRT #Cuddy: *makes Cuddy face* #no but really why is this every episode #and WHY can’t I stop watching #House MD #house m.d. #Allison Cameron #my art #doodle of the day

[nooneassked]

Projecting my anxiety onto Riku and pretending that he always has to be the last one to fall asleep. Sora always tells Riku that he’s going to be the last one to fall asleep this time so Riku doesn’t have to worry, but he passes out in like 5 minutes every time.

#kingdom hearts #soriku #and every night Sora is like #no for real I’m really going to stay up this time #and Riku just says sure and cuddles him closer because he knows that’s not happening #when I was little not only did I have to be the last one to fall asleep but I also had to be the first one to wake up #because I didn’t feel comfortable sleeping around others #but for Riku I’m going to say his anxiety is related to Sora’s long ass nap and watching him sleep is not only something he feels like he #needs to do but it’s also something that brings him comfort

[why-the-heck-not]

Just signed up for the bachelor’s thesis course (today’s the deadline; very on character, gotta leave till the last possible day) Crying screaming throwing up??? I’m hella stressed abt it

#and not sure about the topic #I didn’t yet need to be but I’m afraid I didn’t write enough like ’’what are u interested in’’ bc mf how would I know????? #so in january I’ll just see what group I’m at and figure the topic from there it’ll be fiiiiiiiine #and if not; it’s only 6 months like I could handle 6 months with a shitty topic I think (barely and not well but like doable) #also rn it’s 7am lol bc I basically filled the form last night & decided to sleep on it just in case and now it’s way too early to be #feeling this frazzled #i’ll have more coffee; surely caffeine will help #2023 #december 2023

[charcubed]

for a bunch of people who supposedly love supernatural, huge chunks of the fandom sure seem afraid to love it in earnest without adding asterisks to their own interest, considering how often people apparently feel the need to disclaim that it’s Bad or everything good about it was supposedly an Accident

society if everyone could just perhaps stop making posts about and/or giving hundreds of notes to posts about how much Potential the show had but how Poorly Executed it supposedly universally was. alas, technology does not allow me to mute a specific flavor of post so instead I must complain

but whatever, RIP to those people but I am different. as always I’m wearing a shirt that says “ask me about how supernatural is an incredibly unique piece of media that will never have an equal and that made television history; infamously stretched and played with the boundaries of various genres just because its creative team thought it’d be cool; was introduced as character-driven and maintained that to great success; and boasts a remarkably cohesive vision as a body of work that is testament to the skill and dedication of those who crafted it even though its creative teams transitioned through several shifts, adapted around industry uncertainties, changed the narrative in response to organic and noticed potential, and were limited by network interference”

#as always my hot take is that SPN is a good show actually. #chartxt #I didn’t actually mean to make this post this long but whoops! sorry I can’t casually talk about this ever #ok I need to sleep. my eyes hurt #also this isn’t only about destiel #SPN does a LOT of exceedingly cool shit and it does it well #and it’s also like..… how do I put this. #this is a post in and of itself for another day but: #it is a Story. it is aware it is telling you a Story. #the unfathomable creatures are put in small human bodies to tell you a Story. #ok actually I’m too tired to articulate that adequately tonight so let me stop while I’m ahead. a post for another time. goodbye #char writes things #thats the tag I use for long posts and uH. this got long so

[little-cereal-draws]

The platonic yearning is strong tonight boys

#not me daydreaming abt moving in w my friend instead of nightdreaming (going to sleep) like I should be #i started brainstorming our interior design and I showed her #(but didn’t tell her it was for our hypothetical house) and she said she really liked it #and now I’m dreaming abt playing w her cat even tho I hate cats #and cooking for her even tho I’m shit at cooking and she has so many dietary restrictions she can only have like three foods #i need to go to bed #platonic love #platonic yearning #qpr #queerplatonic

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[dreamyprinx]

I bring to you, actual art but it’s me trying to replicate my friend @spaceshmuck’s art style

✧ reblogs are appreciated ✧ | ♡ buy me a kofi ♡ | ☾ commission info ☽

#whimsy whispers #crystalart.png #others ocs #strand von zarovich #curse of strand #space tag #GOD this was so difficult and I don’t even feel like I did that good a job but it was also fun #also hi I’m not gonna shut up about my art program crashing and this corrupting right as I was almost finished with it I need people to know #that the universe tried to stop this from existing >:| I did not spend hours going ‘is this how it would draw hands’ and cursing myself for #the damn art to not see the light of day #anyways please look at my friends art it’s SO good like god I’m jealous of its art style and character designs >:’) #like literally such lovely art y’all will check it out because I said so and my word is like law or whatever #I’m like writing these at 4:25zm on a Monday and like this won’t even be posted for another week or so but like #sorry if I’m especially stupid rn I didn’t wanna go to sleep yet so I’m saving drafts and listening to off the wall magical! on loop #y’all should also check out junie & thehutfriends because I find their music fun #just listen to me when I tell you to look at ppls art because I have good taste okay? you can trust me I’m holding your hand and we’re going #to have fun I prommy #also please do not talk about the background it was one of the things I was gonna work on when the art program crashed #the only thing I fixed after that was minor mistakes like not colouring in buttons #anyways ily pretty vampire man and ily my dear friend who’s art style vexes me 💖

[lesbiansanemi]

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER #I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family #I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get #home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep #she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM #and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late #she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘ #BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon #(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to) #and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’ #and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them #and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’ #but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side #I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY #never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me #IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough #but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later #cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be #there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them #I’m going to scream I’m going to cry #if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them #but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave #FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL #and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother #I KNOW she did this on purpose #I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long #(again… because of work… something I can’t control) #so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position #where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then #or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much

[spocksgotemotions]

I need to figure out how to care less about my job. I can’t keep crying over kids that aren’t mine, I can’t keep doing this

#captain’s own #dumb bitch hours #personal logs #long story short my boss moved up two of my kids even though they were not ready #and I spent all last week miserable trying to figure out if I could convince her to put them back with us #but I think really I just need to give up and move on #they’re not doing too badly they just seem a little sad and off #and that’s only when I see them so they might just miss me #but it’s like #it fucking sucks dude #I love these kids so much #and Holly (my boss) doesn’t understand she doesn’t know them #she doesn’t know I pushed off my break so I could tell Reagan stories to put her to sleep for nap #she doesn’t know how much time I’ve spent holding Wyatt when he’s been sick #I spent a year and a half with those kids between three of their classes and Holly didn’t even think to talk to me about it #okay I just need to get this off my chest

[callixton]

the thing about rtd era is that he was very good at making it easy to latch onto seasons/companions bc they served very specific purposes in the doctor’s arc. i think this started to fade with moffat and was gone by chibnall and it breaks my heart bc it means that jodie’s seasons are much less memorable to me overall. i would’ve killed for her to have just one more season with a different showrunner and i hope she has the chance to come back in some meaningful way and show us how things could have been

#things don’t need to be as conclusive as they were in rtd #but they felt Purposeful. i trusted that we were going somewhere with the character(s) #i never felt that was with thirteen and i think her whole arc suffered for it. i haven’t seen flux yet tho i plan on it #but i’m not convinced she was allowed to grow at all. and i think if she did it was only bc of the master #not that i didn’t like them bc i did!! but her companions felt largely extraneous to her story #or the plot at all. which is so disappointing. bc they’re Supposed to change the doctor. every time. even when they’re closed off to it #yaz had the most going on but even then i didn’t feel any reciprocity of like. effect #maybe it’s not As Bad as i remember and i just need to rewatch it #but i know that this was a failing/weak point #ohh jodie i wanted so much better for you :( #i keep thinking abt doctor who instead of sleeping goodnight #ted talks #doctor who

[witchofinterest]

considering lincoln came up with the paper crane thing do we think he ever made any for lj?

#prison break #lincoln burrows #lj burrows #yes i am the only person who cares abt lj #anyways i have mixed feelings #on one hand it’s how he shows his love when he’s not there #on the other hand #i don’t know … maybe i just want lj to be more relavant then he is #you know what? i do think canon would show it if it was canon #howeve rcanon downer say it didn’t happen … okay i need to sleep love yall

[excelsior9173]

cackling. felt absolutely insane writing this analysis but damn it if I didn’t spread the word of sleep lmao. i guess my art history prof liked it, he thought the band was neat and i got a 77!

this just goes to show kids, always let the brainrot win :)

#ramble on exie #sleep token #worshitposting #this is absolutely the funniest thing to happen to me in my entire university career #i cannot believe i just let myself go feral over a band and actually got a decent mark lmao #his only true critique is that i talked a little too much about the band and didn’t focus on just one element #(also the scribble is just to block out my name- i don’t need that floating around more than it already is lol)

[yoohyeontual]

Tell me if I can use your tag for my kpop idols as pokemon trainers content cause I have no idea who with a tag would be interest 🥲

#ok to reblog ????? #also if you want me to do someone In particular ask away !!! I’m doing dc first cause I start with Yoohyeon aka my wife #but I didn’t plan anything ! #it’s flopping hard and it dosen’t bother me but I know I’m not the only one loving Pokémon and could find this interesting #anyway I’m going to sleep ! goodnight ! #I plan my night so I don’t sleep at 4 am 3 days in a row and look at me still doing it…. #my insomnia is worst when I’m not my p*riod it’s like my body is so tired that my awake brain don’t make the difference when I’m sleepy #it’s strange but I need sleep 😭 #I linked the tag too ! #alex.txt

[whimsyprinx]

neurotypical people don’t understand the importance of floor time, like sure i could lay in the empty bed but the floor beckons me and who am i to ignore it’s call?

#whimsy whispers #the floor is comfy okay #I use to sleep in the floor because I wanted to as a child #I had a bed #but sometimes you see a spot on the floor and go ‘is anybody gonna lay there?’ and not wait for an answer #anyways I laid on my roommates mawmaw’s floor today and people very kindly told me I could lay in bed to which I was like ‘nah I’m good down #here’ #I like the floor #I was also very tired and had a headache and wanted to pester try Alexia which I could not do in another room #I fought her over a bottle of sprite #I only ‘won’ because she eventually gave up #I didn’t even wanna drink her sprite I just wanted to pry it from her grip and we were just tangled both trying to yank it out of one #another’s hands #full disclosure: this would’ve gone on forever if she didn’t just give in because like I am not very strong #twas fun #at least once a week I need to physically mutually attack someone or else #the other week kane and I attacked each other in the kitchen I can’t even remember why #oh yeah I put my soapy hand on their arm and then did something back to me and it resulted in me being bear hug attacked from behind while I #tried so very hard to bite them

[every-eye-evermore]

Microdosing this book I’m reading because if I read more than three chapters at once I enter a deranged state where I feel like I need to either start biting things or write my own book

#AAAAAA #that’s why people write fanfic I get it now #I read the first three books in one day and only stopped when my friend ran out of pdfs needless to say I’m fucked up #I promised myself a chapter per hour I write and that got me to finish my second draft in one day #I’ve cured my youtube addiction in one simple action #oh my god #I didn’t know self improvement made you feel like you need to punch a wall #I feel ALIVE #and I’m trying to sleep because it’s midnight #mine