#if your a trans women you ARE a real women

[gemmahale]

Look. I’m gonna be that cool friend of yours that sits on the seat backwards to talk to ya. Because we need to make some things clear.

Don’t be a jackass to people. Block or back out.

This is an 18+ space for legal reasons.

This is a queer positive space.

This is a sex positive space.

This is a kink positive space.

This is a body-autonomous space.

TERF and SWERF rhetoric is not welcome here. RadFem rhetoric is exclusionary and hurtful.

Trans women are women; trans men are men; gender exists on a spectrum and we believe people when they tell us what they are.

Sex work is real work. Period. End of discussion. The exploitation of workers is not limited to sex work.

Thinking you’re morally superior to someone else is cruel and perpetuates stereotypes that actively cause harm.

Censoring your words is a violation of consent - people have tagged certain words to prevent them from seeing it. Censoring it violates their choice. (And also? Be an adult. Use the words as they’re intended to be used.)

People deserve to be cared for and have their basic needs met, regardless of status, identity or health concerns. (This includes mental health too.)

If you don’t like any of this, block or back out. Be an adult about it. This is not an airport, you don’t need to announce your departure.

Bigotry will not be tolerated.

We good? Good.

#gemma rambles #Gemma is pissed #I stewed on this for too long #but it needs to be said

[old-school-butch]

Hello again <3

I sent you an anon that you replied to on April 1st, which was me asking how ex-TIFs are received back into womanhood. Your reply gave me a little foothold which ended up very comforting as I started coming out rapid-fire to all my friends as detrans. this is primarily a message for other people in my situation, who are afraid and might want a template of what you might expect will happen once you do come out with it.

Predictably, most of my friends dropped me; I've 3 friends left. Two of which continue to support trans people but can accept that i have different opinions (as long as i'm "not mean") and one of which has seen the gender critical arguments, accepted them, and agrees. So, heavy losses, but not total losses. My two siblings seemed to sigh in relief and reveal that they never believed in genderism at all, which is odd, because in my 10 years of being trans not one of them challenged me on it. my mom fell into heavy guilt over "letting me" do all this, although i was 18 when i took testo and 19 when i got surgery, so she really could not have stopped me, legally. i suppose she mainly grieves knowing that had she had the right arguments she could have saved her kid this, but i've told her she is not to blame and i hope she recognizes that.

i haven't received any real harassment, not from anyone that i PERSONALLY know, though my family has received... harassment targeted at me? my sister had a classmate begin sending her copious pro-trans propaganda (contrapoints videos) which she instructed should be sent onward to me (sis did not comply). hilarious how my 10 years of direct experience is suddenly null and void and i'm assumed to know nothing about transness.... 6 months ago i was helping people sensitivity-write trans characters. now, i'm told i can't speak for the trans experience at all, and that i do not know what it's like to be a transmasc person. told that i need to listen to the arguments more carefully, that i don't LISTEN, when i literally lived this for 10 whole years. girl, on god? they tell me i don't get it and need to educate myself. and have empathy of course.

but in general, detransing, i've discovered that there are PLENTY of people who do not actually believe in genderism but who will play along simply out of fear or social pressure. my friends aside, who i knew through "queer" circles, everyone in my family (expect my mom) has revealed they never actually believed in it. i think this might contribute to why trans people bully dissenters so badly. they know this is the truth, that no one really buys it. i think, subconsciously, i have known that too. i never downloaded grindr, i never went into the men's bathrooms. i knew that despite testo and surgery and pronouns i could never challenge men as an equal in their eyes.

interestingly, making new friends is not that hard. I lead with the fact i'm detrans and "don't believe in all that shit" and people are VERY eager to be able to, suddenly, voice their real opinions without being called transphobic. they begin with probing questions, uncontroversial statements like "i agree they shouldn't put males in women's sports..." but if you continue to agree and not punish this daring on their part, they will reveal, with much relief and enthusiasm, what they really think. most people, normal people, really do not believe it all? i'm a brash person and can take irl confrontations quite well, hence i feel safe putting myself up as a transphobe off the bat. and people are very into this. so. the old ass saying, just be yourself.... normal people will not volunteer anti-genderist opinions on their own but when i continue to state thing after thing they open up and agree and eventually feel safe enough to admit their own thoughts. making friends, especially with non-gendie women, hasn't been that hard.

i'm going to write another message about same-sex attraction in the genderverse, but it's also a can of worms so i will make it separate from this one. again, thank you so much, for having anon on and listening, and letting us listen to each other without fear. i would hug you. to be continued

Thanks for the follow up!

My only comment is that I think most people play along out of kindness, it's not all bullying and fear, but that does impose a silence on everyone so everyone feels quite alone with their doubts.

[werewolfbneimitzvah]

vent post. There are two stories i was told in my teenage years that even before i had a real concept of trans issues made me uninterested in discussing the supposed sacredness and safety of separated sex-based spaces.

First, when i was like 13 or 14 my PE teacher told us about a time she went to a women's public restroom, some guy was hanging out outside the bathrooms, she didn't think anything of it, went to the bathroom, and he walked in after her and like, creeped on her over the top of the stall. She was ok, she wasn't telling us this to scare us, just telling us what to do in situations like that (and iirc she was telling the whole co-ed class this, not just girls, bc it's useful for everyone), but this taught me immediately and forever that there's nothing actually keeping these spaces separate really, that anyone can be a creep in any space, and that establishing a space like that as for women only isn't actually particularly useful for safety.

Second, when i was 16 i was at an anime convention, a friendly acquaintance of mine and i ended up in conversation outside, and he showed me his bare wrist and told me he'd been kicked out. A female friend of his had stepped in dog poop outside, and between that and the stress of the convention she'd had a bit of an emotional breakdown, so being her friend, he started comforting her and ushered her into the women's restroom so they could wash the poop off her shoe together. And because he was a man who went into the women's bathroom, he got kicked out, no matter that he was doing something that was actually beneficial to a woman. Punishing a woman's friend for supporting her was supposed to... protect her somehow? This made it clear to me that a no-exceptions rule separating the sexes like that wasn't actually inherently good for everyone.

And this isn't even getting into me as a child needing to accompany my younger sister to the restroom when we were out with just my dad because she had certain support needs past the age he felt comfortable bringing her into the men's room with him. And what if I'd been born a boy, or she'd been the first born? Who's helping her then?

And of course even putting all this aside, we should always prioritize compassion and support anyway. But i never even needed to meet a trans person to know that "keeping men out of women's bathrooms" is silly nonsense. But trans people also need to pee anyway and as humans they have that right, so leave them the fuck alone. your precious women's restroom is just a fucking room with a door, holy shit give it a fucking rest, if someone is attacking you in the bathroom that's bad and if someone is in there to pee that's good and it doesn't fucking matter what their junk is or was when they were born.

a woman could have done the exact same thing to my PE teacher and it would have also been bad no matter how "supposed" to be in the restroom she was, and no one should ever be punished for helping a crying friend wash their shoe.

Anyway i know I'm speaking to like-minded folks here, i just think about those two stories literally every time bathroom gender shit comes up and it pisses me off.

[racharii]

i'll be a bit more concise with my criticism from the latter half of my last big post. you dont make callout posts and harass your fellow transes for one simple reason: what if it breaks containment? you might very well be "well intentioned" with the goal of your callout post. you might be thinking "im protecting the trans community against a trans woman who is mean, a bigot, or even a real danger, my mission is pure :)"

what if someone like lìbs of fucking tìktøk picks up on that 150 page google doc?

get some fucking perspective.

if you truly think someone is an actual danger, block them, blacklist them. dont interact with them. Do Not bring the greater internets attention to a random fucking trans woman. we dont exist in a fucking bubble. there are avenues for dealing with people who have done actual harm and callout posts aint it. (and to be clear, the trans women involved in this particular round (and lets be real 99.99999999% of the time) are just being harassed, they did nothing but be trans women on the internet)

there are people who actually want to do us real harm for the heinous crime of being queer. people like the aforementioned twitter account go after posts with as little as 3 fucking likes. queer people and our allies are doxxed and forced to leave thier homes for at most posting cringe and normally just being a fucking queer person. trans women atm are under the most threat from the right becuase the fascists are trying to divide and conquer, and the "perverted men are infiltrating womens spaces" line is selling really fucking well. dont give them fucking ammo.

protect trans women and get some goddamn perspective.

#rach rants #doing the weird censoring cause i dont want it searchable by that fuuuck that #like not to be ageist but ima be ageist grow the fuck up #trans

[raedioactive]

i hope you do realize that my HH/HB smash or pass tier list isn't canon, its just an AU, GROW THE FUCK UP AND DEAL WITH IT!!!!!

oh, so this is what you want then? fucking take it.

yeah, no shit? i wasn't talking about that, genius.

what i WAS talking about is the fact that you objectify women - real ones, people's characters and characters from media.

YOU grow the fuck up. you act like a eight year old kid who thinks they know everything. newsflash: everybody you've talked to, and as a result, disrespected and been rude to - absolutely despise you. i'm done with putting up with your mysoginistic, transphobic bullshit. read the room, kid.

i was quite aware that your ridiculous tier list isn't canon, but it's not an AU. an AU is something someone put their time and effort into. something people look at and feel they want to appreciate. what you did was objectify women, as always, again.

*ahem*

TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. GROW THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT IT, KID.

6. xoxo, someone tired of your idiotic bullshit. have a nice day, dear. <3 /sarc

#randysworld2009's bullshit #i dont want to ruin any of my tags with his shit

[jerseymuppet]

like. okay i’m in bandom and like the only people that consistently talk about the women here are all. lesbians. or the feminists here for riot grrrl. but like. for every post about laura jane grace there are one thousand about gerard way. for every post about hayley williams there are one million about frank iero. and when a post goes around about women you can bet there are people in the tags talking about ls dunes and pete wentz and it’s like. fine cool. but Also.

#be so fucking for real!!! #apparently talking about this makes me (someone under the trans flag) a terf #look inwards!!! do some self reflection!! #just because your misogyny is going in a different direction doesn’t mean is isn’t misogyny #and I need you to think about how you talk about women and how that effects trans women #jude.txt

[sharkgirldick]

Transphobes will find the thinnest logic possible to call a trans woman a pedophile and act like they said something with any actual weight.

#text post #shark thoughts #transphobia tw #got really lame anon hate saying it was gross that I called my/other trans women's dicks 'girldicks' and to stay away from little girls #the funniest part was they said 'i don't call it my girl vagina I can it my woman vagina' like lmao no you don't #you just call it your vagina. as it turns out genitals are (incorrectly) highly gendered so I have to specify #no one bats an eye at woman having girls night with their girl friends so don't act like this is a real problem

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Me watching the LGBT community who almost never rarely gives black women and girls, asexuals, or aromantics genuine respect, pretend we’re all friends and have always treated us right the minute it’s June 1st and want to use black women(mainly darkskinned) and girls as their little poster girl:

#asexual #aromantic #It’s always coming from the non black people(including other racial minorities) too #and the stuff coming out of the lgbt community towards black women and girls has gotten real nasty #i have seen numerous people(although they’re mainly black) say that black people are inherently queer because we’re unnatural and strange #in the eyes of white supremacy and white people #like are you ok in the head??? why do you want to say that black people are inherently strange and we defy every social standard #as of our existence is a social statement #I personally think the worst thing I’ve personally heard(from yet another black person) #was that black women and girls would get seen as men or trans women because our hair is nappy #what does our natural hair have to do with getting seen as men or trans women?? #and the white lgbt people just applauded them and hearted their tweet #it annoys me how for some weird reason political and social movements will mainly use black women especially darker black women as rep #and It’s almost always by a non black person #like why don’t you use a girl or woman from your own race in your political and social justice artwork #oh wait that’s right #because in general the lgbt community views black women and girls as magical negras who will be their ride or die sista soulja #who will mule and fight for them no matter how badly they outright insult us or sneakily talk badly about us #pride month is basically another black history month when it comes to how everyone reacts to it #every reaction to it is superficial and they’re only celebrating us because they feel like they had to or wanted social points #had it been any other month they would’ve been focusing on the group that they belong to

[stuff-terfs-say]

I don't like genital preference discourse because 99 percent of the time it's a cis person who made up a hypothetical pro trans argument and got mad at it.

#I'm sure there's someone somewhere saying YOU MUST HAVE SEX WITH A TRANS PERSON FOR WOKE POINTSS >:( but I'm not them so #if you're not listening to me and instead building a strawman and accusing it of being a conversion therapy advocate why bother ya know? #for me I have internalized the fact that trans people exist and there's a non zero chance that a woman is trans #so I just accept that #the only real difference would be how the sex works and that might be an issue for other people and I'm not saying that's bad or good #I would personally cross that bridge when I got there #and if we're not sexually compatible then we'll split the same way I would with a cis woman who wasn't sexually compatible #it's such a nothing burger for me but there are people's whose entire blog is this #I made jokes before but if you are so terrified of your partner having a peepee don't have sex until you Know for Sure #or vice versa but I mainly see the discourse centered around trans women given how they are more sexualized in our society

[snekdood]

yall are willing to die for trans women and not trans men and we should talk about it actually

#transandrophobia #you'll do anything to protect trans women but dont have that same energy for trans men. interesting. #anyways i think the reason this is is bc ppl like this think bc we're men we dont need to be helped or protected #that somehow we should have figured out how to do this on our own. that we dont need community bc we're already solid and tough enough #which is weird like. how are you trans friendly but then you dont do any other basic progressive shit like #getting rid of gender roles entirely instead of now instead applying them to trans people also? ?? #like you dont get to be all 'men should express their emotions and be vulnerable' and then reinforce the traditional gender roles on- #trans men still. like have you or havent you decondtructed that shit in your head or did you iust see someone reblog something that seema #correct w/o even doing any critical thinking or self reflecting or anything on your end at all #i didnt suddenly become made of rock and become invulnerable when i transitioned. bc that narrative for men in general is inaccurate- #and harmful. and even if i did become super buff and capable of mowing down my enemies that wouldnt mean i dont suddenly need community #that doesnt mean i become immune to bullets or that i dont need a space to express my emotions regarding being trans n shit #like yall really just want to leave us out here to die it seems like. we have nowhere to go. no real community bc yall wont give us the #time of day or compassion or anything. you think 'men bad' and thats the deepest your political analysis goes as far as im concerned. #and if thats the case how much better are you than a terf who just decided they were 'okay' with trans women? #p sure this post was inspired from a trans guy literally being a meat shield for other trans ppl and no one gave a fuck.

[puppygirlgirldick]

for the purposes of reading porn, i am now considering myself a trans girl who somehow has a cervix and a womb. if people can't be arsed to write smut without referencing wombs and cervixes and making specific note of somebody having both a vagina and an asshole or write shit like "all three holes" then i am just gonna get high enough to forget that i ain't got that kinda equipment.

#this is a complaint but it is a complaint that will also lead to me feeding my breeding kink #so it's a win win situation really #but no for real it's twenty fuckin 24. write inclusive porn. it's not that fucking hard. or just #be up front. and say your shit isn't for transfems (or for pre/non-op ones). that's fine. sometimes shit isn't for you (me) and that's fine #i might think your kinda jerk. but in the same way that i think someone getting pizza delivered to their house is a jerk cuz i don't get an #not the end of the world. #just kinda sucks to get halfway through something relatable and then whoops here's a reminder y'all weren't thinking about trans women agai #maybe that's a me thing not being able to imagine having that equipment and more weed will fix it. i'll be testing that theory #the tags are longer than the post at this point because i am unhinged and i cannot be stopped. sorry.

[strangeauthor]

Matt’s lawyers are having a fucking aneurysm right now

#author makes a speech #no but for real she’s already gone from your site #why are you harassing her on others?? #what other reason is this for if it ain’t hatered of trans women #get back to your fucking vacation

[public-trans-it]

Eh fuck it. I'll just make The Discourse Post and just not have it be a fucking text essay.

One of my biggest issues with TME/TMA discourse is how much its based on assigning who is affected by oppression, in ways that are just FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG ACTUALLY.

If your method of analyzing oppression is built on a premise where you if you met the author of "I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out." you would look her directly in the eyes and say "You aren't the target of transmisogyny, actually" then quite frankly... your method of analysis sucks shit.

My OTHER big issue is... every fucking post about it sounds like this fucking tweet tbh.

Yeah, I'm sure that the dickhead looking to curbstomp someone who falls outside of gender norms entering a public restroom, is gonna go "Oh! You are a tranny with LADY PARTS! My mistake!"

#anyway im sure the person who's been harassing me is going to have a field day with this one #maybe they will finally come off anon! #fucking doubt it though #coward #also: “Oh that trans person uses he/him pronouns so he is TME” #- A real fucking take that is VERY FUCKING COMMON on this site #about a certain genderfluid individual who trans women like to pretend isn't genderfluid #listen #i do not give a fucking rats ass about him #but GOD is he a great litmus test for seeing how fucking rancid your opinions are about anyone who doesn't fall into a strict binary gender #like... binary genders are fine. Hope you enjoy yours #stop acting like a fucking cop for those of us without one #also YES that last part is transphobic #thats the fucking POINT #anyway im off to bed this is future me's problem to deal with lmao #edit: removing the hyperbolic 'dude' in there cause i can see that bothering people

[moonlilyshipping]

Seeing all the harrassment that trans women are receiving on this site from terfs

Get the hell out of wlw and yuri communities if youre going to treat transwomen lesser than human

#crimemew has been revealing awful anons and just. #what the fuck is in your water bottle if you think it's okay to harrass a real person as an anonymous user #no wonder why this site is infested with $wiftiəs because the CEO loves white women terfs #as someone whos not even trans. get the hell out of fandoms that have a huge wlw following. you cant even be a decent human being. #not meant to be a informative post but this is my only message @ anyone who follows this blog #it's literally 2024. transwomen exist. stop trying to villify and harrass transwomen. #tagging as #vent #just in case it feels like one

[boywithbear]

randomly thinking about how the anti "transandrophobia truthers" people never think trans men ever face misogyny, especially if they're out of the closet and can pass as a man, and i'm here masculine as hell and would pass to THEM but yet my voice gets me misgendered all the time, to the point during phone calls people will refuse to believe I am who I say I am because of the masculine name not matching up with the voice and so they always automatically assume I am my own sister or mother, and my own urogynecologist fully sees me as a woman despite my FULL BEARD and my bear of a body

like yeah totally i completely have all the same exact experiences and privileges as a cis man! /s

Edit: actually lol to make the point further, I am still here with the full beard and masculine attire and so I'm probably what they'd call "cishet passing" and yet when I go out, I am misgendered ALL the time now because of the combination of my voice, my long hair, and wearing a mask that covers up a good bit of my face. I'm misgendered more than I'm gendered correctly, actually. Like really blows my mind bc I will see these ppl call ppl they dont even KNOW irl "cishet passing" based on seeing pictures of them when that doesn't = reality and also that's a fucking gross ass term.

#think they just love their radfem rhetoric so much they'll do anything to ignore how complex the real life world actually is #like we are allowed to have a term for the specific experiences we go through as transmascs/trans men #and half of it is because THEY'RE the ones who want to equate it to transmisogyny and make it a competition and then blame that on US #like no YOU did that #sure some trans men who speak on transandrophobia can be transmisogynistic. EVERYONE CAN BE. what does that have to do with the term itself #the term is about OUR unique experiences. which yes we DO have and you all just love to ignore it #and there's exorsexism/enbyphobia for nonbinary people. where's your problem with that? #or do you ONLY have a problem when it comes to trans men because men bad and woman good. wonder who started that notion. huh. #and when there have been so many trans women too who have spoke about how that shit harms them too but yall don't actually care #because your hatred for men is greater than your love for women actually and it's sad. rant OVER. #transandrophobia #transphobia #z #literally with this out of nowhere bc caffeinated and also phone went to shit again so not on here much again but was having Thoughts

[rebellum]

Honestly I really think people haven't unlearned toxic femininity and often just use feminism to justify it. You're being the same cliquey, judgemental, rude girl you were at 13. But now instead of "ew I don't want to sit with Brenda because she's like a gross boy, she doesnt even wear lipgloss" you say "I don't want to sit with Brandon because all queer spaces should prioritize femme solidarity and that's something a man can never understand so Brandon has to be kicked out now because he started T"

And the same ideas are behind it.

You prioritize people for being culturally or subculturally acceptable, not for being nice people. You exclude people not because they're rude, or bigoted, or anything, but because YOU feel like they shouldn't fit in here.

#get kicked out of the friend group for not being feminine enough #get excluded and talked over and treated like shit because you dont belong in spaces for 'women and femmes' #and then arent allowed into queer mens spaces because you arent a 'real man' and dont pass #excluded from cis mens groups excluded from trans fems groups for not being fem enough excluded from mixed agab queer groups for being a #Dangerous Man #so then you can only hang out with other trans mascs #and then people point at that and say 'see? trans mascs are bad! theyre isolationist! they dont want to hang out with anyone else because #they think theyre better than others!' #and then if you try to coin a word to talk about experiences like this people say #'why do you need a word? youre a man you dont need a word for your oppression #'you arent even oppressed. youre just trying to take words and space from the fems who deserve it.'