#every reaction to it is superficial and they’re only celebrating us because they feel like they had to or wanted social points | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

Text

“Let’s BTS” asks about “I like you the most” and Jin’s reaction

by Admin 2

First of all, I want to wish you all, far away in the world of Vmin and BTS, a healthy and peaceful Easter, if you celebrate it, and a nice weekend for those who don’t! Since Admin 1 is quite busy right now and currently also participating in Camp NaNoWriMo, I (Admin 2) will take over our blog for a little while though Admin 1 will still be lurking and checking comments etc. I want to emphasize right away (you will probably notice it anyway) that I have no literary talent compared to Admin 1. I'll try to worthily “replace” Admin 1 for the time being and talk to you about Vmin and more.

Unlike Admin 1, I am not so careful with shipping discussions (and I even like them) as long as everything is done respectfully and we’re all sticking to the truth about the BTS members. I don't like criticizing other shippers because I understand that other fans may love their favorite members and ships just as much as we love Vmin or Namjin, but sometimes it’s inevitable that I have to say something.

So, I invite you to a discussion. I am open to discussion.

We got two interesting questions about “Let’s BTS” and specifically Jin’s reaction to vmin and I want to discuss them.

From anon: Hi, just wanted to see what you made of Jin’s reaction to Tae’s message to Jimin on the Let’s BTS show. I’ve seen some people say he looks so done and even annoyed with it. I can understand him looking apprehensive at first because Tae is a bit of a loose canon, but everyone’s reaction after is to laugh and smile and shout but Jin is very stoic. I’m kinda new and wondering whether he isn’t a fan of Vmin’s brand of declaring their love on national TV. Although when I think of how he behaves with Joon - I’d struggle to wonder why he doesn’t like it. Any thoughts?

From anon: Hi, I cannot believe what I’m reading about Tae on some platforms. What is wrong with people? Anyways I wanted to ask you what you thought of Jin’s reaction to Tae’s message for Jimin? I’ve started seeing people saying that Jin hates the fact they’re close that’s why his reaction was weird. I’m a vmin shipper but Jin is my bias and I can’t get my head around the fact that Jin doesn’t love them both dearly. He did look “apprehensive” perhaps but I’d say with Tae being Tae; that isn’t surprising.

In order to answer these two questions and to form my opinion on the matter, I’ve looked at the situation with regard to Jin and other members several times.

I admit that I’m surprised myself that Taehyung went this far. Actually, it's not even about the content of his words, but about the whole circumstance and the atmosphere that he created around his "confession". I don't know who added the music, whether it was a Taehyung hint or simply something the editors and PD thought of, but the whole situation and phrase gained even more "meaning" and "seriousness" through it.

I seemed as though the background music was supposed to make the moment remind everyone almost of a scene from a K-Drama (or one of vmin’s playful roleplays), but it only added to the effect of this being a serious, sincere and weighty moment instead.

Taehyung joked around by turning the table and pretending the envelope was not intended for Jimin, but this just led to an increase in the tension displayed by the members and the moment itself, and yet still Jimin was immediately convinced that he was the one for whom the envelope would be. Everyone was acting (which makes it sound like they were faking it which isn’t what I mean) like they were curious, but you could clearly see everyone's tension and nervousness, especially when looking at Jimin. Taehyung added that the contents of the card within the envelope were for Jimin's eyes only, emphasizing the seriousness and intimacy of what he was about to say. As a result, Jimin’s reaction led to uncertainty, nervousness, and at the same time an awareness of the sincerity and seriousness of Taehyung's words.

The words "I like you the most" are (on a superficial surface level) nothing big when compared to "I love you", but they still had the biggest reaction. Jimin wrote "I love you" to Suga and absolutely no one reacted nervously, everyone joined in on the declaration, and the situation was relaxed and even funny. Why did Taehyung’s words cause such reactions then? Why?

My thought is this: When the envelope was revealed to be for Jimin, it was met with tension by both members and Jimin. We all know that Taehyung can be a bit of a loose cannon sometimes, even on national television, when it comes to Jimin.

Jungkook immediately commented that "it’s about friendship", Suga laughed nervously and loudly, as if he wanted to end the situation quickly, and Jin had a serious face that didn’t seem all too positive or eager about what would happen next.I'm not going to go into Jimin's reaction here, but rather Jin’s, since that’s what the anons were wondering about.

In my opinion, Jin doesn't like situations that slip into seemingly too private matters. He is definitely the kind of person who gives up the least private information. The situation with Vmin clearly didn't suit him. And not because Jin doesn't like Vmin (because that’s simply not true), but because he knew this program would be broadcast nationally and streamed worldwide, that it would be debated, that every word would be analyzed, and most importantly, because the team that recorded the show wasn’t their own but one that belonged to KBS. Jin doesn't want anyone to have access to BTS's private life, after all he even asked the You Quiz editors to cut what he saw as too sad/depressing about his answers so clearly he thinks about and considers many such things. I think Taehyung didn't care all that much, but Jin did care.

Perhaps I will go too far in my analysis and imagination here, but let's not forget that in the near future Jin is going to have to leave for his military enlistment in the highly conservative Korean army, which holds very homophobic views. Any shadow cast on any of the BTS members (even if some of them are already suspected to be queer) can endanger Jin or make it even more difficult for him to perform his service well and safely. The suspicion that two of the members might be in a relationship with each other would make Jin an accomplice, since they belong to the same group and would lead to him also being suspected of being queer, guilty by associating basically. This is my opinion at least.

Jin is the oldest and feels responsible for BTS, much the way Namjoon does as leader, for everyone including Taehyung, because Jin is aware of the wave of hatred that will be/is poured onto Taehyung across sns after such a public statement. According to Jin, in my humble opinion, this is neither the time nor the place to take such a step in such serious manner. As long as everything was done in form of jokes and witty answers, Jin was joining in and having fun, but when it was Tae's turn his face became serious, as if to warn Taehyung. Jin knew that "Taehyung's atmosphere" could/would fluster Jimin and the entire team, and could become the subject of rumors spread by the staff that isn’t their own.

So no, Jin’s reaction wasn’t because he hates vmin or anything like that, because that’s not true on any level, but because Taehyung’s words about liking Jimin the most were perhaps too sincere for the setting they were in, raising too many brows, and that’s potentially why he reacted the way he did. After all, if you watch the 5th Muster concerts, and especially the one in Seoul, when vmin stand at the very end together, Jin approaches them and throws water at them as though to pull them out of their bubble and back into reality. All in good fun and because he simply cares a lot about them.

Also, an alternative and even more simple answer could be that Jin’s face has no relation to anything I just said and doesn’t tell us anything about what he thought about Taehyung’s words. After all in some interviews he also just sits there quietly and watches/listens to the other members and that doesn’t mean anything at all, or at least nothing negative. But since you asked for my thoughts, here they are, though they don’t have to be right.

I actually have no idea what the reactions are to this show in Korea and among the general public, but I've seen the reactions to Tae’s words across various sns, which one of the anons also mentioned so I’d like to talk about those for a moment as well.

My hair stood on end when I read some of the responses/posts about Taehyung. I never thought that people who call themselves ARMY or fans of BTS would have such opinions about any of the members. A wave of hatred literally flooded Taehyung, like Admin 1 previously mentioned in their answer to an ask.

I just wanted to cry. It shocked me how far shipping can go (literally playing with actual, living people with no regard to their own words and thoughts) that it can cause such extreme emotions in "fans". It's hard to say which is more negative and alarming for some, Taehyung potentially really having (romantic and reciprocated) feelings for Jimin, Taehyung's feelings not being for the “right” person, or the mere fact that Taehyung's feelings are for a person of the same gender.

It’s also interesting to see how deceptive some are. I don’t even mean that “Taehyung and Jimin like each other most” is ignored, which it is, but rather that those mutual feelings were manipulated to twist them into a completely different direction and to another person, or turned into mere jokes or sarcasm. As if all of this simply never happened.

On the other hand, the fact that Jungkook unbuttoned his shirt before going on stage for “My Time”, as opposed to him not doing so during rehearsals, has become very important and an example of J*k*ok being in a relationship, how that’s now even clearer than ever before and is an indisputable fact, according to shippers. Apparently, J*k*ok were flirting with each other throughout the entire segment and show and only had eyes for each other. Somehow Jungkook imitating Jimin is the final piece of evidence to prove everything shippers ever claimed and thus, according to them, everyone must now see that they love each other romantically.

I've carefully watched this show three times, this particular segment and everything else too, and frankly I haven't seen anything that could be called anything even close to flirting when it comes to the two main ML ships. I'm mature and I think I know what flirting is and I can “read” the simplest human behavior, but I really couldn’t see any of it. In my opinion, Jungkook imitating Jimin is clear and open and not a secret. I fully understand Jungkook, I would also follow Jimin in his place :-) Jimin's dancing and looks, as well as his professional work ethic, are truly breathtaking, inspiring and worth imitating. However, this has absolutely nothing to do with romantic affection or a romantic relationship between them, in my opinion.

Hence, I fail to understand these behaviors which in turn lead to a wave of hatred against Taehyung and the, repeated, disregard, belittlement and erasure of Jimin’s and Taehyung’s friendship and relationship bond, and even some going as far as pretending anything vmin was simply not there at all just to make their ship seem more real, booo.

#BTS #vmin #Jimin #Taehyung #Seokjin #Let's BTS #answered ask #answered by admin 2

83 notes · View notes

takara-kaneko · 5 years

Note

Hi! Can I ask for a chubby reader with Zen? She has been teased so she is sad and Zen tries to comfort her, a little fluff. Thank you.

This one was so cute!! I love writing this, thank you for asking for it!

Let me also say, never judge a person for the way they look. It’s superficial and petty. Instead, build people up and be a light in someone’s day!

Fans (Zen X MC)

It’d had been the most wonderful day. MC got to spend the morning with Zen before he had to leave for his call. Tonight was his biggest performance yet; and while it wasn’t her first one, MC found her excitement always remained the same. Seeing him on stage always filled her heart with such joy and love, it was almost blinding hehe, get it, blinding?

But MC couldn’t help but feel like she was lowering his reputation. After all, she wasn’t some successful star, couldn’t act or sing, and was considered “average” in looks on a good day… but MC was just bigger than him. He was so fit and in shape, constantly taking care of himself, but she didn’t look the same.

Sometimes, she could push those thoughts aside. And today was one of them, MC was here to celebrate Hyun and his breathtaking show. Not worry about herself or her body image. The distraction proved useful and MC was soon enveloped in the complicated storyline, imagining that she was the romantic interest. She couldn’t believe how much time had gone by until the curtains drew for intermission.

MC promptly went outside of the theater to grab a quick snack. Spending the whole morning with Zen, she had forgotten to eat and recently began to feel quite hungry. But as MC ordered, she couldn’t help but feel eyes on her. She tried to ignore it, just wait for her food, quickly eat it, and return back to the show to enjoy the second act.

But as MC grabbed her food, she couldn’t help but overhear part of a conversation from a trio of girls, all wearing Zen’s merchandise.

“Is she really the ones?”

“Yeah, apparently they’re in love.”

“How can somebody like him fall for somebody like him?”

“I mean, she might even be cute if she laid back on her eating habits some.”

“Want to bet she’s just doing it for when he gets rich?”

The statements continued, but MC had enough. She made her way quickly away from the crowd, trying to seclude herself away from the others. Without even trying, MC threw away the food, instantly feeling guilty for the money she had wasted. But she couldn’t after what they had said. How could she? After all, she was just the fat girl after his money Which he really doesn’t have much money anyways

The show had resumed, but MC just couldn’t get her mind over what those girls had said. When Zen came back on stage, she tried to focus on him, but could only think about how much she was holding him back. Maybe she could try to get more into shape for him and actually look like she deserved him.

These thoughts ruined her mood, despite how much she really wanted to be there for Zen. But he was too busy on stage, performing for the audience, he would even see her. And as she lowered her head to wipe away the tears that had formed in her eyes, many could swear that Zen almost began to trip over his lines, staring at someone close to the front.

The show ended in grand applause. Fans standing and screaming for the actors as they bowed. The show had ended, and MC would see him. God, what would she even say? Sorry? Sorry that is doesn’t look good enough to be with him? That just sounds stupid, despite it being true.

Zen’s manager found you quickly, leading through the complicated maze of hallways, all the way to his dressing room. Without asking, he knocked on Zen’s door before leaving her alone. The door flew open in the next second, dazzling red eyes shining into yours. The light flush of pink on his skin either from being on stage or from seeing her, she didn’t know. It was probably both

“Babe! Did you enjoy the performance?” He exclaimed, reaching out to give MC a large embrace. Freeing her body to move with his, she found herself enveloped by him. And she loved it, loved feeling every breath he took.

But it couldn’t stop MC from feeling bad. Seeing him only reminded herself of what those girls said, and she couldn’t stand it. “You did great, as always.” She whispered, trying to conceal her sobs and shaky breathing.

But Zen was no fool. He had noted every time her eyes lit up when she saw him, much as he did for her. She would talk about the performance as if he had never seen it. She was always so cute, so he would listen and it would always make her so happy. But to have her so quiet, so… sullen? Something was wrong.

“Jagi? My love? What is it, what’s wrong?”

Struggling for words, MC pushed herself away from him, shaking her head. “It’s… It’s nothing, just forget it.”

“MC,” Zen whispered, serious yet loving at the same time, “I’m not going to just look over something that made you so upset. Did I do something?”

Still shaking her head, MC could do nothing but whisper “No… No, you haven’t done anything at all. It’s me.” MC couldn’t hold it back anymore, as tears began to run down her face.

Zen didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what was wrong. So he did the only thing he knew how to, he held her while she cried.

“Don’t I embarrass you?” She questioned as her tears stained his shirt.

Without meaning to, Zen let out a small chuckle. “Babe, of course not. You are amazing, I would never be embarrassed by you. Why would you think that?”

MC looked up at him, makeup now smeared across her face, “But aren’t I too big for you?”

For a moment, he didn’t know how to reply. He has never thought a moment about this sort of thing and it confused him on why she would even think about it. Then it clicked, “Jagi, did someone say something to you?”

Still blubbering, MC aggressively wiped her face with her hands but paused for a moment to softly nod.

He knew it. The fact that someone would even think something like that about her was enough to set him off, much less actually say it to her.”

Zen slowly approached her, gliding his fingers from her shoulders, down her shoulder, eventually resting on her waist. “MC, look at me, please.” He waited for her stop rubbing her eyes until her gaze met his. Smiling gently, he continued, “Jagi, you are my love, my world, my life. Every moment I’m with you is the happiest moment of my life. And I wouldn’t trade that for the world, not a single thing in my life is more important than you. Please never dislike yourself when it is the thing that I love more than anything.”

Placing one of his hands on her cheek, Zen gently wiped away the last of MC’s tears. As if on reflex, she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

“I’m sorry, Hyun.” MC murmured, placing her own hand on top of his, “I’m sorry I got so upset. It just got worried I wasn’t enough for you. I thought that I needed to look better if I wanted to be with you.”

Without wasting a moment, Zen placed his lips on hers. MC couldn’t help gasping at the sudden contact, in turn causing him to snicker at her reaction. “I love you just the way you are, I would never want you to change. And if you ever want to change something about you, it should be because you want to, not anyone else, alright?” MC nodded, leaning into his embrace once again.

“Answer me this question,” Zen started, MC quickly returning a hum in agreement, “Is that why you were crying during the second act?”

You saw that?!” MC jolted, unable to conceal the surprise on her face.

With a chuckle, Zen kissed her forehead, “I had to make sure my jagiya was enjoying my performance.”

Tagging: @sapphicmists and @thortheclonetrooperIf you’d like to be tagged when I post my writing, feel free to message me or include it in the comments!

If you like my work, please support me by buying me a ko-fi

#mysme #mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfiction #mysme fanfiction #mystic messenger fluff #mystic messenger scenario #mystic messenger fanfic #mystic messenger headcannons #mystic messenger prompt #mystic messenger zen #zen #mysme zen #mm zen #hyun #hyun ryu #mysme fluff

102 notes · View notes

doctorstrangeaskblog · 4 years

Text

One thing I’ve noticed about haters is that they basically dedicate a lot of time just to spread hate, making their target’s fans sad, they often want to impose their opinion, they often misinterpret the facts, make up facts or even exaggerate on interpretation of facts, and that’s not the problem, the problem is that they want to IMPOSE their thought on people, prevent them from having fun with what they like, as if the whole world had to hate what they hate, and this is wrong, because it attacks the other’s right to like something. People have the right to hate stuff, but they cannot harm anyone else’s right with their actions (and arguments), because that way we fall into intolerance, and not just racism, sexism or homophobia, but also social exclusion against personal tastes and opinions. They also sort of invade spaces that were supposed to be fun, such as tags on Tumblr and other social media with hateful, negative and even fake posts. A good example was people blaming Benedict for Doctor Strange whitewashing, while the character in question was the Ancient One and not Stephen per se, and then they start the “Doctor Strange should be Asian” movement, with so much superficiality, because we know we can’t just change the characters’ nationality and be like “see? We’re inclusive”, because that’s just so lame. People who suffer with exclusion feel every day the problem can’t be solved with simple replacement, but with the development of good, well built characters, good stories, with cultural inclusion and all the focus the character deserves, etc. Anyway, it’s not a simple matter, and suddenly haters were blaming the entire racism of the cinema on Benedict (?) while the guy has a big importance when it comes to inclusion, donations, charity, pacifism and a lot of relevant points I won’t list here because just google it.

Anyway, haters end up carrying misinformed people into hating people who actually are doing good things out there, with great projects and charity initiatives etc. (Keanu, Capaldi, Benedict, Hiddleston...). Also, whenever a hater comes to discuss about why the person or character you admire is the worst being in the world, they often get aggressive when you start pointing out logical arguments, they end up getting emotional and coming for the personal side and forcing some interpretations (example, a lot of doctors, actors, psychologists etc. study objects, animals and people so they can work and improve their profession, like, doctors study people with disabilities, from incapacitating ones to very light ones so they can understand the matter and work more efficiently, etc, I’ve seen people turn Benedict into a monster for observing people with autism, because he more than once had to play a role in which the character had autism. If we think about it and keep acting with such hateful attitude, we’ll end up agreeing with censorship, and autistic people wouldn’t either be characters in movies or we wouldn’t get actors working on such roles, meaning the characterization would be way more limited etc. anyway, it would be bad for culture and critique in general, there would be less representation, because even if autistic authors were called, it would make it harder in occasions where that wouldn’t be possible, movies would end up exploring that subject less, etc.), this was an example, but project this into wider areas of cinema and society in general, using your personal opinion to judge people and consider them the ultimate evil, to want to make the whole world hate that person and harming anyone who disagrees with the haters, that’s really bad!

I used some haters speech about Benedict as examples here because that’s what I’ve seen (and been attacked with) the most, because my blog is a Doctor Strange blog, anyway, but I’m talking about all the kind of haters. But understand a thing, being a hater is not the same as disliking something! Everyone has the right to dislike stuff, and people normally just stop there. People dislike something, people avoid that thing, if asked, they say they don’t like it and that’s it! People normally don’t spend hours making toxic posts about what they hate or spend hours arguing with strangers about how they should hate something! People tend to spend their time with things they like (or things they have to do), so if a hater comes to you and keeps babbling, just say you’re not interested or ignore or end the conversation, because normally these people aren’t well intentioned! Haters normally can’t be convinced, there will ALWAYS be a reason to justify their hating, while the truth probably is that they identified with a group and feel important there. Also, haters tend to spread high expectations about people, and that’s just toxic, we can’t judge someone’s entire life by something they said or did, people commit mistakes and that’s why LAW exists, if someone commits a crime, it’s up to the system to judge them, not people! When people assume that role and start writing stuff, a lot of fake news come out, and a lot of people actually believe it, and everything becomes a big hate toxic ball that hurts tons of people who had nothing to do with anything.

We do have to criticize actions we consider evil or wrong, as well as we have to think about society and about cinema and racism etc. but we can do that with logical conversation, checking the facts in sources we can trust, we don’t have to become haters and hurt others to defend what we believe and trust every tabloid website in order to sustain our arguments, and I’m not even talking about extreme things such as racism and homophobia, I’m talking about something way more “silly” and superficial such as fandom hating, celebrity hating, ship hating etc.

To point out how it’s not normal to be a hater, let’s imagine a situation: there’s an actress or singer (etc) you like who said something really bad on TV, live, everyone saw and it’s impossible to claim it’s fake. You kind of used to like that person’s content before, but what she said really let you down, you don’t like her anymore and you’re sad. What’s your natural reaction? The reaction most people would have? Well, unfollow that person, stop reading their posts, stop listening to their music, stop recommending that person to friends, stop buying their stuff and little by little, that person would have a smaller and smaller space in your life, until you simply forget about that celebrity (they become irrelevant to you), you just avoid their stuff, you don’t even notice them anymore, you have other interests now and that’s it, things barely changed for you, you’re just indifferent. Now, what does a hater does? They create a page (or fill their social page) of stuff with hate against their target, they spend hours reading about how terrible that person is, they talk to that person’s fans to tell them they have to stop liking that celebrity, they invade all the tags of series, songs, movies (anything) the celebrity is in and spam it with negative things, such as “it’s a terrible singer” or “they should have cast another actor”, anyway, anything really negative that would induce the fans to either quit having fun or start hating the celebrity as well, and that’s just soooo sad and toxic, because spamming a safe, fun environment like that can be considered imposing and even aggressive depending of the content they’re posting, that’s why social media websites often ban accounts that spam tags or other users.

Anyway, haters who spread fake news or aggressive thoughts or accusations often forget they actually could be sued by the celebrity/singer/actor/writer they’re hating on, that’s where personal opinion differs from being a little authoritarian offensive aggressive person. I can totally say “I don’t like that singer because they did X” or because “their song is bad” or “I don’t like their style”, however, we cannot accuse people of stuff they didn’t do, things they didn’t say or even write they thought something or said something they didn’t, because then we’re invading their space, and they have the legal argument to sue you. Normally celebrities don’t lose their time suing small silly haters on social media, however, if a hater writes something offensive about them, including false accusations, they totally CAN sue the hater, or report them so their account gets closed anyway. Haters often forget that some of their actions are criminal, cyber bullying is crime, false accusations and humiliations can be interpreted as injury, and that can be serious, specially if the person being offended is going a hard phase or suffers from psychiatric disorders, the consequences could be way worse for who’s suffering the stalking.

Something that’s very common is Benedict haters taking pics of him and making photoshops making fun of his appearance (they FIND) and making fun of his name. Benedict kind of seems to be okay with that during interviews, considering a lot of his fans also do that, but still, imagine people taking pics of you, making an offensive edit and spreading it in the tags about you or tags about the things you do and like, HOLY CRAP THAT WOULD BE HELL, I WOULD HATE THAT! I WOULD SUE! And not only the celebrity has to endure that as well as all the fans have to scroll past the sooo many hateful posts which are contributing to NOTHING at all. The only ones happy with all that are the little noisy hater communities, who keep spreading all the offensive things, being rude to people and satisfying their ego, because they often feel way superior to the people they hate (and the fans, and anyone else because they feel they have the right to impose their thoughts). Hate tags do exist, and fans normally won’t visit them because they don’t want to read hate, but even so, haters get expansive and spread all their hate to healthy tags as well, and that becomes toxic. That’s why hate posts and spams are really close in many Guidelines of social media, and such posts CAN BE REPORTED, because they kind of break the “behave online, respect people and don’t harm other people” guideline.

In conclusion, if you’re a victim of a hater(s), don’t quit what you like, just report and block the haters. If it turns into stalking, keep reporting, call the police if you feel threatened, cyber bullying is CRIME, and spamming people is considered a bad attitude on most social media. Preserve your well being! Don’t lose your time discussing with fanatic haters, they won’t listen to you. (If someone hates an actor/singer etc. because they are misinformed, they tend to be like “really? I didn’t know it was a lie. I’ll check it out” when you first tell them /or comment on how the information they’re sharing is fake. Misinformed people normally don’t want to impose their thought, normally they’re just confused or lost, and most of them won’t attack you).

If you’re a hater, please, stop that and if you feel you need, go search psychiatric help, because what you’re doing probably is hurting someone, and hate doesn’t make good at all, not to you, not to anyone. You’re free to have your personal group where you hate on stuff together, of course, but try to be careful to not hurt people or to be toxic to others. Some stuff you hate mean the world to other people, so respect their view just like they respect yours.

Just reminding this text isn’t about extreme things such as racism, homophobia, sexism etc. this text isn’t about that. (Wanting to kill someone because of their gender or color isn’t accepted in our society, it’s crime, and I’m not talking about this here.).

That’s it. Stay away from haters, they will try to make you feel bad for not listening to them , they will accuse you of being authoritarian for blocking them, but no, you don’t have to listen to them, you don’t have to spend you time listening to their hate, you have the right to preserve yourself and ignore them, that’s why the function “block and report” exist and you have the right to use them.

#about haters #doctor strange #benedict cumberbatch #benedict #movies

43 notes · View notes

back-and-totheleft · 4 years

Text

A brilliant work about white nationalism and the cult of personality

This past week saw the release of Chasing the Light, the epic memoir of legendary filmmaker Oliver Stone. A word like "controversial" doesn’t even begin to describe the work of Stone, whose films have delved deep into hot button political issues and sparked intense debate for decades. Some have decried Stone as a radical conspiracy theorist who indulges in his own historical fantasies, while others consider him to be a noble patriot who ranks among the great American filmmakers of all time.

Stone had his own take on the Kennedy assassination in JFK. He skewered corporate greed with Wall Street and demystified the Vietnam War with Platoon and Born on the Fourth of July. He explored violence in the media with Natural Born Killers. He’s made films centered on the lives of Richard Nixon, George W. Bush, Edward Snowden, Alexander the Great and Jim Morrison.

Stone’s films that play with real people and events often draw the most attention, but he’s also shown an ability to create work that is ahead of its time. No film personifies this more than Talk Radio, Stone’s 1988 chamber piece that explores the complex relationship between an abrasive radio personality and his audience. In 2020, this story about participation in media, toxic masculinity, performative impertinence, mental health stigma and local news coverage is more prevalent than ever.

It’s no secret that ratings for talk and news radio programs are down across the state, with some experts suggesting that listeners are looking for escapism from news updates and political divisiveness. Talk Radio exemplifies those anxieties by showing how absorbing it is for a host to keep his listeners engaged by any means necessary.

Eric Bogosian stars as Barry Champlain, a Jewish radio host based out of Dallas who berates his callers each night with tirades of hatred and sarcasm. Champlain’s callers look to him for reliable nastiness, and throughout the course of his shows, the lines between performance and sincerity become blurred. It’s unclear if Barry talks the way he does because he needs a reaction, or if the everyday grind of listening to these callers has taken a real toll on him.

“I'm a hypocrite,” he admits at one point. “I ask for sincerity, and I lie. I denounce the system as I embrace it. I want money and power and prestige. I want ratings and success, and I don't give a damn about you, or the world. That's the truth. For that I could say I'm sorry, but I won't.”

What makes Talk Radio so significant for its time is how it deals with the cult of personality that often dominates media viewership. Champlain’s callers aren’t calling because they’re interested in his viewpoints or even his outlandish statements. They’re addicted to him. One caller calls to tell Champlain about her obsession with his show, but when pressed for details, she can’t name anything other than how she “loves everything about (him).”

Although the story is loosely based on the life of the Denver radio host Alan Berg, its relevance about the prevalence of white nationalism feels pertinent to the current moment.

Stone explores how dominating this on-air persona can be. Champlain receives a barrage of vitriolic calls every night from listeners who despise him and often sling anti-Semitic insults his way. Champlain takes each call in stride, aiming to never show a sign of vulnerability, as that would contrast with the person he is presenting himself as.

Any moment of sincerity feels like a loss from Champlain. When he shows genuine concern for a caller who claims to be nearing an overdose, Champlain quickly learns he’s been duped by a particularly vile prankster. The radio host becomes angry, not just because he’s been deceived, but because the concern he showed is at odds with the uncaring facade he has constructed for himself.

A common talking point in today’s political discourse links the rise of radicalization as a result of extremist movements that are passed along through social media channels, often preying upon easily impressionable listeners. Champlain begins to recognize this process for himself throughout the course of Talk Radio, in which he realizes that many of his viewers view his program unironically and treat his most absurd hyperboles as a form of gospel.

Champlain’s boss Dan (played by a young Alec Baldwin) tells him that it’s only a job, but throughout the course of the film the audience learns how all-consuming the work has become. A desperate Champlain calls his ex-wife Ellen (Ellen Greene) at one point asking for help with his depression, but when she calls him on air, he treats her with the same resentment that he does any other caller. Champlain’s staff are horrified at the fact that he would use his prior relationship as material for his show, but for Champlain, they have become the same thing.

The notion of Jewish anxiety looms over the film; Champlain is a Jewish man with leftist views, and he’s often at odds with his conservative viewers. Even if he’s able to lampoon his abusers with a clever one-liner, Stone notes the real danger that Champlain is in, particularly as one caller makes a bomb threat while espousing hate speech. Even if Champlain isn’t afraid to put himself out there, it’s clear that he’s facing an uphill battle every day.

Although the story is loosely based on the life of the Denver radio host Alan Berg, its relevance about the prevalence of white nationalism feels pertinent today. Champlain’s anxieties stem from the fact that his tormentors confront him on open airwaves, thus giving a voice to others who are inspired by hate speech. In a time when platforms like Twitter and Facebook are slow to ban calls to violence, Champlain’s experience feels less like an anomaly and more like a precedent.

Despite the attention he receives, Champlain is very much alone, and Stone’s notion that those with the most recognition are often the most isolated was a novel theme in the pre-internet era. Conversations about the impact of social media on mental health often note how online interactions can lead to a false sense of well-being, and Talk Radio explores the very idea of using superficial relationships as a coping method.

If many of Stone’s films feel like a rallying cry or a call to action, Talk Radio is among his more nuanced and meditative works. The film certainly has pity for Champlain, but it doesn’t condone his actions. If anything, Talk Radio aims to explore how hostile media environments create people like Champlain, and how people are seduced into granting him any power.

A cautionary tale and a useful tool in exploring the ways in which strangers interact, Talk Radio is a forgotten classic that sheds some insight into what discourse has become. As Stone’s entire filmography is reconsidered as his memoir is celebrated, Talk Radio deserves to be appreciated for the brilliant work that it is.

Talk Radio made its streaming debut on Peacock. It can be viewed for free there.

-Liam Gaughan, “Oliver Stone Has a New Film, but Let's Look Back at the Ever-Relevant Talk Radio,” Dallas Observer, Aug 2 2020 [x]

#oliver stone #talk radio #dallas observer #judaism

1 note · View note

1dreality · 5 years

Link

Zayn Malik was never the celebrity you thought he was. If it wasn’t already obvious from his detached, often melancholic interviews in the wake of his 2015 departure from One Direction, it will be from the title of his second solo album. The very elongated 27-track Icarus Falls is comprised of more of the sparse R&B that Malik has perfected since his first release Mind of Mine in 2016, but like its titular myth is also indebted to themes of incredible ascent and crushing decline.

A decline not of Malik’s career, it should be said, but rather of his own mental health, the album serving as both an intimate meditation on Malik’s life so far and a dire warning about the trauma of instant fame. It all leads to one obvious question: Is Zayn OK?

In an age of millennial openness and Instagram confessionals, Malik remains something of an outlier: an enormously famous and highly visible celebrity, but one whose ambiguity allows us to project much onto him. In our collective consciousness, he has been the 1D-fleeing villain, smoking cigarettes, being mean to his bandmates on Twitter and looking miserable as well as the “soft boy” pin-up, a vulnerable figure in desperate need of a hug.

Much of that ambiguity is intentional. Along with declining to tour Mind of Mine, Malik is often press-shy, choosing not to take part in TV sit-downs or play the social media game in an era in which somebody like Ariana Grande spends much of the waking day interacting with her fans on Twitter and Instagram.

And while Malik has been open about some of his past struggles, including his battle with an eating disorder at the height of his One Direction fame and consistent difficulties with anxiety, they’re often revelations that feel accidental in nature. We learn of them during an unexpected moment of truth-telling between him and a journalist, the subject quickly changed soon after, or through lyrics that are just descriptive enough to imply deep truths. Even talking about his anxiety in an essay for Time Magazine felt like a necessary course-correction after a string of cancelled gigs led to unflattering rumours about his health in the press.

Whether Malik’s public persona is intended as a protective mask or not, it is still difficult, particularly in the wake of Icarus Falls, not to feel something for him. After all, his jump from a working-class kid to an international superstar worth a reported $50 million, practically overnight, is the sort of trajectory most of us would struggle with at the age of 40, let alone at 17 when Malik auditioned for The X Factor.

Icarus Falls doesn’t cover any new sonic ground for Malik as an artist. It sees him return to the same well of threadbare, silky R&B that helped Mind of Mine easily trounce his fellow One Direction bandmates in the “best first solo record” stakes. But it does whirr with a noticeable sadness, Malik repeatedly mourns the peace of his pre-X Factor past and beats himself up for mistakes he feels that he’s made since. And when he speaks of emotional pain, it often sounds not like something confined to history, but rather something he’s dealing with every day.

“I’d rather be anywhere but here,” he sings on Good Years. “I close my eyes and see a crowd of a thousand tears / I pray to God I didn’t waste all my good years.” On Insomnia: “I’ve been roaming and strolling all in the streets / Burning my eyes red, not slept for weeks.” On Back to Life: “I been flying so long / Can’t remember what it was like to be sober.” On Satisfaction: “Nobody said this would be easy / Nobody gave me a rule book to follow.”

Even typical love songs are fatalistic in nature, talk of Armageddon running through both Flight of the Stars (“I will follow / Hold you close standing on the edge of no tomorrow”) and Tonight (“Love me like tomorrow’s never gonna come”), while much of the album nods to an unnamed great love in Malik’s life that he needs to overcome incredible odds to be with – nothing new for love songs, but given a greater weight when paired with his statements over the years. Because if we know anything about Zayn Malik, it’s that he often can’t stand being Zayn Malik.

Through much of the little press he has done, Malik has expressed unease with most of the trappings of fame, particularly the assumptions that he ought to be personable and friendly with industry figures or musical collaborators. And when it comes to One Direction, he still appears burnt by the experience. While he told Vogue in November that he has recently been able to see his time with the band as “an amazing experience,” despite the “bulls---” of what he refers to as “the machine,” he also told GQ in June that he didn’t make any actual friends during the peak of his fame: “I definitely have issues trusting people.”

In the numerous articles that pop up every winter recalling how good The X Factor used to be, clips are embedded that showcase many of its most memorable contestants, and every year it becomes that bit more shocking how much One Direction looked like children during their time on the show. The scrawny limbs, those Justin Bieber haircuts, the awkward school-talent-show bopping and shuffling. It somehow worked, enough at least to turn them into a tween phenomenon, but in hindsight it’s indefensible that they were pushed as significantly as they were.

There was always something deer-in-the-headlights about the band in its early days, a sense that at least a few of them had been pulled along for the ride as opposed to having a firm grip on the steering wheel. The hunger so visible in pop bands of similar notoriety, whether manufactured or not, wasn’t always visible – and while all of them have transitioned into stable adults who are, for the most part, comfortable in the spotlight, their jarringly different responses to fame remain clear.

It’s important to remember, for context’s sake, that Malik was always a reluctant star. Only attending his original X Factor audition after being guilted by his mother into waking up early and making the journey there, he was, in his own words to The Fader, “a lazy teen”. And even during the audition stages, he expressed reluctance to properly join in, walking off stage during a choreography rehearsal and having to be coaxed to go back. At the time, Malik’s reaction registered as a petulant strop, but now feels oddly prescient.

Of Malik’s One Direction bandmates, Harry Styles was always the most naturally inclined to superstardom – such an affable schmoozer and networker that it was quickly no longer surprising to see images of him palling around with Mick Jagger or Stevie Nicks. Liam Payne always bore the personality of someone very eager to be seen, lack of self-awareness very much included, while the perpetually chipper Niall Horan has always simply appeared very, very happy to be there. But both Malik and Louis Tomlinson have often visibly struggled, uninspired by the more performative and fraudulent elements of celebrity, or the levels of attention handed to them by Simon Cowell and co.

“What I really can’t ever get used to, or really enjoy, are these super geared-up celebrity parties,” Tomlinson told Noisey last year. “No one actually cares. You see people who are beyond self-absorbed, and that’s why it can be a dangerous place.”

Malik has echoed similar sentiments. “I don’t work well in group situations, with loads of people staring at me,” he told GQ. “And when you say ‘star’… everyone wants you to be this kind of character that owns a room or is overly arrogant or conﬁdent. I’m not that guy, so I don’t want to be a star.”

What’s odd is that, for all his claims, Malik does bear all the superficial trappings of modern stardom. He’s a fashion darling but is permanently magnetised to the covers of cool indie magazines. Furthermore, his on-again/off-again relationship with supermodel Gigi Hadid has, since 2015, become a Generation Z equivalent of Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder in its aesthetic-heavy, era-defining popularity.

But Malik is also simultaneously detached. The GQ profile, his most extensive recent interview, bears all the hallmarks of a journalist struggling to fulfil a word count because of an uncommunicative subject, writer Carrie Battan even expresses Malik’s tendency to reply to her questions in “friendly but anodyne one-liners.” Like the very best of pop idols, from Britney to Beyoncé, Malik is so compelling principally because he’s so hard to read. But this can also be a poisoned chalice: every expression of doubt or self-pity determined to be a cry for help, every revelation shaping an image that may or may not be real.

It means that listening to Icarus Falls isn’t an entirely joyous experience, Malik’s lyrics painting a picture of a young man still working through the discomfort of his sudden fame and the trauma of a moment in the spotlight marred by illness and fractured relationships, many of its scars still visible today. But it’s also a record that you can’t help but admire as a result, especially if it serves as a form of catharsis for him.

In the decade since Britney Spears was forcibly taken to the hospital surrounded by hundreds of paparazzi photographers, our collective relationship with the idea of fame has greatly altered, particularly for a generation who watched Amy Winehouse essentially die before their eyes. The one beneath them are currently coming to terms with a raft of recent pop star crises, from Demi Lovato’s overdose to the deaths of artists like Mac Miller and Lil Peep.

For all the obvious charms in Malik’s life, from his incredible fortune to a kind of artistic freedom that he never had in One Direction, you’d have to be particularly cold not to feel empathy for the sheer strangeness of his adult existence; a world of rampant, maddening attention that has historically led even the strongest of stars into tragedy.

The Zayn Malik of today is a little bruised, a little listless, his magazine profiles never complete without references to the cloud of marijuana smoke that lingers around him, or his need to lock himself away from the world. It doesn’t sound like the most ideal of outcomes for a man who calls himself a pop idol Icarus and sings with whispery detachment that he has “[flown] too close to the sun.” But we can only hope that it at least serves as a parachute.

#zayn malik #zayn's music #icarus falls #icarus falls review #icarus falls promo #z2 #z2's promo #god damn this was long to read #It's like the author is more into analyzing Zayn's life & the contradiction than the actual album #but you know what I kind of like it #it'S true that icarus falls is not a joyous album but it is introspective.#the reviewer seems to have enjoyed the album #i highlighted the parts where he talks about the album but overall I think it's a good read #it feels like a think piece rather than a review

70 notes · View notes

itsmetiinn · 3 years

Text

So every now and then we get to see local celebrities / 'influencers' get involved in cheating scandals...

And in every disgrace we see exactly the same kind of response or reaction that goes viral and believed by the masses (especially the younger generation).

It goes something like this:

1. "And that's why people are afraid to fall inlove."

2. "baka yung taong pagcocommit-an mo hindi naman pala totally commited sayo. Nakakatakot na maging sure ka sa isang tao tapos siya hindi naman pala sure sayo."

3. "People nowadays ipaparamdam sayo na commited sila sayo (sa una) pero kapag tumagal, wala na. Nakakatakot yung Idea na baka yung taong nakikitaan mo na makakasama mo in the future will be someone's future pala. :))"

These are all wrong.

The fear of a heart ache is valid, but it is often unfounded.

Here's some practical, no-BS, no kitchen talk, no senior high level advice, tips on how to avoid being the woman in this situation.

1. COMMITMENT IS NOT A FEELING

Reading posts and comments about relationships, breakups, cheatings, it's hard not to find people discuss their fear about the other person not being committed to the relationship.

First of all, if your relationship is founded on fear, but you still kept going on with the other person, you probably deserve what's about to come. No, but seriously.

You can't say you 'committed' yourself to someone who isn't 'committed' to you...

As long as you are NOT married, your commitment means NOTHING.

It's just a feeling of devotion or faith that you have. It has its own hints of loyalty, but you are just as vulnerable to cheating and to breaking off that 'commitment' with that other person.

Which brings us to the second point:

2. COMMITMENT IS TANGIBLE

Part of the reason why relationships work so well back in the days is because they actually discuss things...

Yes, of course, they are in love. But they still use their brains as they plan out the tangible steps in their commitment for each other.

- Are we exclusive?

- When are we going to get married?

- If not in 6 months, how long should I wait?

- How many months is your deal breaker? (if you won't marry me in 2 years, I'll leave)

If you are 18 years and above, you are already an adult.

If you, as an adult, find it 'awkward' or weird, or cringe to talk about marriage, you deserve to be slapped so hard back to your mother's womb.

The problem we have today is that people fall in love but remain fallen. Literally, they're crippled in to advancing on to the more important parts of the relationship.

They would go into a relationship, be a boyfriend and a girlfriend, and it seems like their brain stops working there.

They lose sight of all the higher goals in their lives. And they even romanticize this inability to commit by saying stupid c’est la vie things like “I like the way we are now...” or “0% labels, 100% love”.

Stop. Di pwede yan. You ever see “joy miners” sa mga online shop - mine ng mine pero di kayang bayaran yung item? Pareho lang yun dito. Bogus buyer yan. Check the label, mommy.

A lot of guys won't even touch the subject of marriage.

A lot of women are afraid to even open up that topic, fearing that it's too soon for the guy.

A lot of guys would release a very cryptic "Yes" but would insist they'll talk about marriage later...

... and 8 years later he's still saying that you'll both get there.

and then one day you wake up, open your phone, and find yourself Jayzam-zoned:

"Nawawalan na ako ng pagtinging sa kanya (you) na sya yung future ko..."

You wonder with special drama effects,

"San ako nag kulang?

San ako nagkamali?

Minahal ko sya ng totoo.

Binigay ko sa kanya lahat."

Sis, that's the problem right there...

3. IF YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER, THEN TRY TO LITERALLY RESERVE YOURSELF FOR THE FUTURE.

You give your man all his needs and wants in life

- companionship

- loyalty

- sex

- status symbol

and you give it for years.

Then you wonder why he fell out of love? Why he doesn't see you in his future?

Malamang. Ginasto mo na lahat.

In short, laos ka na. Ubos.

Be exclusive.

Never give the man who is not your husband the benefits of a husband.

You've once thought "Wow 4 years na kami in a relationship, di pa niya ako niyaya mag kasal."

As long as he's already comfortable with your dynamics (how your relationship works) and he's benefitting from it, don't worry, it will last 6, 8, 10, 12 more years.

You've literally completed his comfort zone. And people who are in their comfort zone are obviously comfortable enough to not make any move.

Don't even think about naming him "future hubby" - there is no such thing. If you do, you'll start justifying your giving in to him by telling yourself it doesn't matter, you'll marry in the future anyway.

Be smart sis.

What must you do?

4. ALLOW HIM TO LOVE YOU FOR YOUR INNER BEING -

or - ALLOW HIM TO FALL OUT OF LOVE

The reason why exclusivity works so much is because it acts as a filter.

It filters out inauthentic love. If he could stand being with you for years without receiving any benefits at all, it shows greater reason to believe that he's not with you for what he can get, but for what he can offer.

But what if he starts acting out? What if he starts to see other women for sex? What if he loses interest?

All good sis. Kalma. Understand that this is a win-win situation because you saved yourself from a superficial / immature guy, and you get to find someone else who is authentic and better.

Granted na you're not following your heart, because if you are, then you will surely cave in, start giving him benefits because you fear being 'lonely' again...

Which brings us to our 5th point...

5. HIS DISLOYALTY, DISHONESTY, TOXICITY, (or whatever it is) IS NOT YOUR ENEMY... YOUR HEART IS.

Yes, I said it right.

You actually don't need to worry if he is disloyal, or toxic, or a cheat. In fact, that should be the last of your concern.

The main problem a whole lot of people have in this generation is that they cannot overcome the lies of their own heart.

Quite a lot of people actually admit to seeing "signs" of their partner being toxic, having tendencies of cheating, or saw them flirtxting with other people.

It all goes wrong when they tell themselves "oh it's nothing." "oh he will change" "oh it's temporary".

They give so many excuses for the other person because deep within their hearts the idea of breaking up, being single again (at their age), having to explain to friends and families the reason for the split, giving themselves to a multitude of strangers, finding another partner again, is not something they can mentally afford to imagine... how much more to actually do those things.

So they make up all sorts of things because it's easier to let these things pass by and hope it goes well, than to confront the problem and act out a solution.

So sis, stop giving yourself away and find proper guidance.

1. Find a decent guy. Background check. Past relationships. Problems. Family problems. etc. How does he view commitment?

2a. Ask for intentions

Is this for real? Is this towards a soon marriage? If yes, then spend time and get to know each other.

If he says something like he's "discovering himself" tell him to go explore without you.

2b. Ask the questions

When? What's the timeline? "It will come..." is not a right answer. Must be a range of months to years, with a contingency plan if unmarried after the deadline.

Does this sound hard or technical to you? It is. But it's love, and love has plans. Better struggle with this and have a lasting relationship, than to go with the waves and end up dry on the shore.

3. Reserve yourself. Don't spoil the BEST for something that's only good. Don't give yourself away. It's your dad's job to give you away during your wedding, not yours on your first date night.

4. Filter out the fake love. Let him wait. See if he's there to give or there to take.

5. Don't follow your heart. Follow what is right and what is true.

The Imperial Patriarch

0 notes

bethlehembroclub-blog · 6 years

Text

chapter 3 - everyone’s dancing merrily

written by @sweatereddies and @gingerbreddie

word count: 5.3k

pairings: reddie, stenbrough, benverly

warnings: swearing, drug/alcohol use, dwayne the rock johnson in a santa suit

want on the tagslist?

new chapters almost every day in december, follow us for future updates!

“Come on you guys, we’re gonna be late!” Ben called up the stairs, as he adjusted his watch clasp.

“I’m trying, Eddie’s hogging the bathroom!” Stan yelled back. He heard the faint sound of Eddie’s quipped protests and rolled his eyes.

“I’m leaving in five minutes!” He responded, walking into the kitchen to grab the case of beer they had bought. Bev hadn’t said it was specifically a BYOB party, but Ben felt bad bringing four people and no booze.

Stan came tumbling down the stairs. “Fuck it, do I look okay?” He gestured down at his outfit, a rather complimentary blue shirt and his nicer jeans.

“Yeah, you look fine.” Ben said after a cursory glance. His brow furrowed, looking back at Stan. “Why? You never care.”

Stan looked around, clearly planning an excuse. “I don’t know, okay? I just wanted to…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ben smiled. “You don’t have to make shit up. I know you wanna impress someone. Question is, who’s gonna be there that you care so much about?” Ben said, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Stan’s face flushed. “No one, Haystack.”

“Alright, fine, I won’t press.” He threw his hands up. “But whoever it is does need my official Bro Approval, so tell me soon, yeah?”

Stan laughed exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. “Whatever.”

“Guys, have you seen my inhaler?” Eddie said, leaning over the landing on the stairs.

“You don’t have asthma, Eddie.” Stan deadpanned.

“Fuck you Uris, I’ve got something, I need it.”

“You haven’t needed it since seventh grade.” Ben said plainly. “Are you that nervous?”

Eddie fumbled with the hem of his shirt, glancing between the two boys. “Um..”

“You’ll feel a lot better once you have one of these in you.” Ben smirked, tearing open the box of beer and tossing a can to Eddie, who surprisingly caught it. “But seriously, if you don’t want to stay you don’t have to. They’re our neighbors, you can go home.”

Eddie eyed the can in his hands. “I don’t want to be too scared to go to a fucking dumb party.” Eddie muttered quietly.

“Then show up and smash the thing, man. Let loose, you deserve it.” Stan said.

Eddie cracked the tab on the beer, taking a swig. “I’ll go.” He said after he swallowed. “But I don’t know if I’ll have fun.”

“I think you will.” Ben supplied. “Like I said, Mike Hanlon knows how to throw a fucking party.”

Eddie sighed, taking another deep drink. “Jesus Christ.” He cringed at the taste. “Okay. Well the only way I’m gonna have an even mildly good time is if I have at least half this damn case to myself.”

“Done.” Ben laughed. “But that means you have to carry it over.”

Eddie finished the last few steps of the stairs and the last of the liquid in the can. He tossed it in their recycling as he passed it, and then lifted the case up. “Let’s go, then?”

______________________________________________________________

After locking up behind them (the three were the only ones left in the house after Chris had left that morning) the boys set off down the street, Eddie carting the case of beer under his arm. He huffed a bit under the weight of it, but kept thinking to himself about how light it would be once he's done with it.

Even from their vantage point, a good few houses away, they could hear the pounding music. It sounded like someone had put a Christmas song through some kind of alien machine, making it come out garbled and remixed in classic electronica fashion. Eddie scrunched up his nose; he hated nothing more than a shitty remix.

Stan kept his hands in his pockets, the crisp late November air nipping at his fingertips. He was grateful for the short walk.

The house in question looked like his store threw up on it. He even recognized the the giant light fixture of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story from when he’d seen it on their website earlier. He snorted at the sight, rolling his eyes at the tackiness of the entire yard. They'd certainly gone all out on the decorations; icicle lights hung loosely from the roof, where an old couch was perched, a fake santa with a beer in his hand balanced haphazardly on it. The yard was already littered with loose cans and cups, though Stan had a suspicion that they were already there before the party.

“Is- is that a couch?” Eddie faked a wretch, eyes laid skeptically on the santa.

“I do believe it is.” Ben said with a laugh. He found the whole display quite clever.

“I'm having second thoughts.”

“Don't think.” Stan said, stealing a can of beer from the box clutched in Eddie’s arms. “Drink.” Stan opened it and took a swig.

“I hate when you're right.” Eddie griped, reaching into the box for another can as they climbed the steps to the door.

Ben grabbed the handle and pushed it open, revealing an entryway stuffed with discarded outerwear. Beyond the room there was a hallway already filled with people milling around, and openings on either side to continue on into the house. Eddie swallowed nervously.

Ben glanced down at his phone as it buzzed in his hands. A text from Beverly read: hey, im here, where are u?

“I'm gonna go find Bev and grab some real drinks, wanna come with?” Ben said to the boys.

“No way. I’m staying right here.” Eddie said nervously, holding the case close to his chest. “I don't wanna get lost in there.”

“Fine, I'll be right back.” Ben rolled his eyes and left into the swarm of the house. Stan made to follow him but was stopped by Eddie’s arm.

“Don't leave me here.” Eddie squeaked, giving Stan a pleading look.

Stan rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Eddie, I’m not gonna hang around in the doorway all night. Unlike you I came here to have fun.”

Eddie gulped. “Fine.” He said after a pause. “But I’m parking on the first couch we see.”

Stan smiled and dragged Eddie off to the right, the opposite of where Ben had gone.

______________________________________________________________

Richie Tozier was not having a good night. Sure the party had started out as planned; all the decorations had gone up the way they wanted them to, and everything was in its place. Booze was flowing, people were partying, and by all intents and purposes, accounts and definitions, they had the best holiday party on the block. But every bit of it was unsatisfying. They’d already prepared for Christmas, decked in every single bit of tinsel they could possibly get their grimy paws on. They were ready to start the first weekend of the holidays with a bang proclaiming to everyone in the community that they were there to play this year. A preliminary to their holiday bash, they took special care in setting up excitement for future drinking games. They had posters with the rules written on them hastily tacked up on the walls so people could read them, become familiar with them, and laugh egregiously at them before the destined date. But as Richie passed them walking through the house, red solo cup in hand, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit of disdain. What fun was a good drinking game if you didn’t have someone special to share it with? He knew he was being sappy; it was a ridiculous thought. But it was important to him to start really expanding his friend base. He’d been so close with Mike and Bill for so long, he’d forgotten what it was like to branch out beyond that. All of his other relationships were incredibly superficial. Almost anyone in his life was there because of a connection, or for business purposes. He found himself longing for companionship, for the first time in a long time, and it kind of freaked him out. He wasn’t looking for love, at least he thought he wasn’t, until earlier that day he’d gone out with Mike and Bill to grab supplies, and ran into the beautiful boy from across the way. It was frightening though, because he’d realized he’d put his foot in his mouth and overly flirted the first time he’d seen the boy. He did call Richie an asshole first, though.

Richie knew that his chances with the boy were probably slim. But he was supposed to be at the party, and maybe that was why Richie was feeling so listless. He’d seen nothing of Ben Hanscom, or curly haired Stan, or the beautiful brunette he’d been so excited to see tonight, and that was really the reason for the sinking pit in his stomach. He’d gotten his hopes up way too much that morning, out buying decorations and filling up the back of Mike’s truck with the boys. He’d been thinking all day about the look on Eddie’s face when he saw their tacky santa on the roof, or his particular favorite of the drinking games, one themed after Spider-man. He then realized he was unsure of what Eddie’s reaction would even be. How could he possibly gauge what the boy would say in response to their tacky christmas decorations? Eddie has been displeased with his terrible James Bond reference, and probably wouldn't enjoy the many allusions to Tom Holland’s voice cracks in the aforementioned game. But part of him hoped that Eddie secretly had a side to him that would enjoy these sillier things. He’d heard through the grapevine, aka Mike and Ben, that Eddie really had a fun side to him, especially when he was drunk, which was why Richie was so excited to see him at the party. He wanted to see that side of Eddie set loose. But how could he do that if Eddie wasn't there? These thoughts swirled around him as he sat on the couch in between Mike and Bill, who were chatting with some of their friends as they set up a game of beer pong for the night. Richie clutched his cup in his hand and rested his head on his chin, boredly gazing around the room, waiting for more people to walk in. Bill elbowed his side and spoke.

“W-Whats got you so down, T-Tozier? We worked so f-fucking hard on tonight, w-w-why are you not c-celebrating with the rest of u-us?”

“I don’t know Billiam, I guess I’m just in a bad mood.”

“A bad m-mood? It’s our e-e-end of the year party, you s-should be ecstatic, no more fucking ho-homework!”

“I know, I know, I'm really excited about that and I wanna party tonight but.. I was hoping the little germaphobe would show up.”

Bill laughed, looking to Mike for assistance, but he was deep in conversation with the boys setting up the table. Rolling his eyes, he turned back to Richie.

“O-Of course you are. But look, he s-said he said he w-w-was coming with Stan and Ben so j-just be patient and wait for him to show up. G-Get a few drinks in you, you’ll start feeling more excited about the whole thing.”

“Alright alright, I’ll loosen up.”

Richie stood, downing his drink in one go, preparing himself to cross over into the kitchen to grab more. But after he turned his gaze up from the empty cup in his hands, he saw none other than Eddie Kaspbrak himself walking into the living room from the entryway, Stan Uris and his curly hair by his side, a sixteen pack of beer under his right arm. One of the cans was clutched in his hand. Richie could practically see his white knuckle grip on the thing. Eddie was glancing around the room nervously, looking at the decorations, the people, the beer pong table; Stan was smiling abstractly and taking it all in, a beer in his hand as well, already open and much more loosely gripped.

Richie broke out into a grin. This was the time of night that he was really looking forward to.

______________________________________________________________

“Hey there handsome, finally decided to show up!” Bev’s singsong voice called to Ben as he walked into the kitchen.

“Hey there Bevie. Finally got Eddie to get out of that house, he’s been fussing forever.”

Bev laughed, passing a cup to Ben. It was clearly a drink she’d just poured for herself, but she offered it to him anyways. “Go figure, I thought he was gonna take all night to get the courage. But you did get him here?”

Ben took a small drink of the cup she’d just supplied. “In the flesh.” He let out with a laugh.

“Good, then let’s get him ready.” She went to pour another drink.

“He’s already got his beers for the night, I think he’ll be fine in a little while. But Stan’ll probably want something.” Ben supplied

“Sounds good to me.” Bev called over her shoulder as she began to mix Stan a drink, and then a follow up one for herself.

“So is this party everything I hoped it’d be? Ben said leaning against the counter where she worked, cup in hand, taking another small sip.

“Its shaping up to be,” She smiled. “I think they're holding back just a little bit because they wanna save us all the big shit for Christmas, but as far as end of term parties go, it’s the only one on the market and it sure as hell doesn’t suck.” She smiled, taking a large sip of the drink she just mixed for herself, grimacing a little bit as it went down.

“Any plans for the evening, or is it just a mixer?”

“Well I know somebody's setting up beer pong right now, and I think we might have a tournament going on, but other than that, I think just a quick few samples of the drinking games that are planned for the bashes coming up.”

“Yeah, I saw the posters.” Ben laughed

“Apparently the boys are trying to get the buzz around and tell people to prepare themselves for ones they have planned. I heard they're gonna do sort of uh.. Run up style parties, every other day over the break.”

“Holy shit, that’s ambitious.” Ben said after taking another drink.

Bev smirked behind her cup. “You're telling me.”

The two drank a little bit in awkward silence before Ben decided to speak up. “I'm gonna go take Stan his drink, okay?”

Bev gave him a strange look, before reaching down to interlock her fingers with his. “I'll come with you. We’re at this party together, right?”

He smiled to himself, a small blush on his cheeks. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

______________________________________________________________

Stan had never been one to understand Christmas traditions. The whole holiday was incredibly pointless to him. Being of a rather devout Jewish family, he’d always celebrated Hanukkah and followed their traditions, leaving Christmas to the crazies at the country club. But after working a couple years in retail and attending enough Christmas parties, he was aware enough of the holiday-esque things that many associated with the season. He knew about the tinsel, he knew about the lights, he knew about the trees, although none of it made any fucking sense, he knew about it. Just like anyone who grew up in anglo saxon America he could look at any Christmas item and think ah yes, that is in fact related to the holidays. What he couldn't fathom however was what a giant cardboard cutout of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in a santa outfit had anything to do with Christmas (other than the red and white suit of course). Yet here it was, in the corner of the living room that he had just walked into, surrounded by its own strings of christmas lights, tinsel strewn around it and the floor in front of it, appearing as though it at just been thrown at the poster itself. He chuckled to himself a little bit; he had to admit the decorations were pretty hilarious, and anyone who was drunk of their ass and looking for a laugh at two in the morning would find them quite entertaining. But as far as a party went? This was what qualified for the best party in all of college town? Stan scoffed. He knew how to throw a fucking party. It wasn't just about getting drunk, though he had been prompting Eddie all day that it was. He knew better. Parties weren't just about drinking. Drinking was the cherry on top. Ambiance was what you had to go for. Put together decorations, that actually took effort, and looked nice when you were finished with them, incredibly clever and well thought out games, different activities for everybody to do while they were drunk, now that was how you threw a party. And this living room where half the patrons were milling around or sitting and waiting for the beer pong table to be set up, Stan knew this was not anywhere close to a satisfactory party. His own self sense of pride inflated him, and he took another drink of the beer before his eyes landed on Richie Tozier, and his two friends from earlier, who were gathered on the couch as the table was being set up.

Richie was staring at Stan and Eddie like they’d just brought the sun. A huge smile was painted across his face, the empty cup he was holding falling from his hand as he eyed them. Stan knew the smile wasn't for him; he could tell from their interaction earlier that day that Richie had become instantly infatuated with Eddie, something which he thought was endlessly hilarious; way funnier than the cardboard cut out of The Rock in the corner. He glanced out of the corner of his eye to gauge Eddie's reaction and was not disappointed. The poor boy looked like he’d short circuited. Clearly Eddie was planning on avoiding Richie as much as possible at the party, and the first person he ran into was none other than the boy himself. Stan laughed a little at the situation, until he noticed Richie's brooding friend emerging from the couch to come join them as well. He took a moment to size up the boy again to get a better grasp on him than what he had from their interaction earlier. He still thought the boy reminded him of a vampire. He was absurdly pale and seemed to look like he never got any sleep, probably from all the partying. Contrary to his appearance in the harsh light of day, under the soft multi color glow of the Christmas lights his face held a sort of gentle kindness to it. Stan found himself a little bit mesmerized taking in the sight. As the boy walked over to them, he could hear Eddie's faint stammering as his brain tried to catch up with his eyes, but he offered no assistance to the conversation, instead deciding to pretend like he was studying a poster on the walls over the shoulder of the boy who'd introduced himself as.. Will? He couldn't remember. Richie broke the silence first.

“There you are pretty boy, I was hoping you would show up!” He threw his arms out and made an awkward gesture, as if he was going to hug Eddie, and then seemingly remembered that the boy abhorred strangers touch. Eddie groaned and turned to Stan.

“You know what Stan, actually, I just remembered that I left the oven on, so I need to go home right now immediately.” Stan threw Eddie into a headlock.

“Fat chance, Kaspbrak, you’re in for the night.” The smaller of the two boys across from them laughed..

“Whatta good f-friend you are, Stan.”

Stan laughed a little bit to himself. “If Ben's gonna be running off all night with Beverly, I need my party buddy here too. So Eddie is not allowed to go home.”

Richie raised an eyebrow. “Sorry Stan, but I'm gonna have to officially claim him as my party buddy. See, I threw this whole shindig here for Mr. Kaspbrak.” He cocked an elbow, resting a hand on his hip.

Eddie blanched. “You did what?”

Richie and Bill both laughed. “N-No you fucking d-didn't Tozier, don't be a shit.”

“You can't prove anything Billiam.” Richie said through his giggle. “Anyways Eddie, I'd really like to spend some quality time with you.” He wiggled an eyebrow.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I’d like to spend some quality time with your couch, which is where you will find me the remainder of the evening.” With that he pushed his way through the two boys in front of him, entire case of beer still in his hands, and sat down on the corner of the couch that Richie and Bill had just vacated. He sat with the whole case in his lap, it practically dwarfing him, and his single unopened beer can still in his hands. He took a moment to look down at it, almost ceremoniously, before cracking it open and drinking the whole thing in one fell swoop. Richie watched him in awe, jaw dropping slightly open.

“Holy shit.” he whispered to himself. Bill clapped him on the back.

“You pick em fine, Tozier.” He laughed before turning to Stan. “C’mon Uris, I'll t-take you to the kitchen a-and show you the lineup we’ve got for tonight.”

Stan cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, so I see all of the effort today went to the booze selection.”

Bill’s eyebrows shot up in response. “E-Excuse me? All o-o-of the effort?”

Stan laughed to himself. “Yeah, I mean it's not like you guys went hard on decorations or anything.”

Richie had already left them behind to go pester Eddie on the couch, leaving Bill without a paddle. He glared at Stan a little bit. “I-I’ll have you know it took us a-a good hour and a-a-a half to get s-santa on the roof, couch a-and everything.”

Stan snorted. “If you ask me it's an hour and a half you could've spent working a little bit harder on the inside of the house. But that's just my opinion.” He shrugged a shoulder and turned towards the kitchen, Bill following.

“Our decorations are lit, Uris. Y-You're just jealous cause you're n-not having a p-p-party at your frat.”

Stan laughed as the boy followed him. “Oh trust me, I am glad this is not happening at my house. The cleanup? Can you imagine?”

Bill crossed his arms as they reached the counter, Stan surveying it to find a drink.

“I can i-imagine, I clean up after every p-party we have here.”

“Well by the looks of the cups on the lawn you didn't do a very good job last time.”

Bill gasped slightly, offended. “T-Those were there when you g-got here cause the p-p-party already started!”

Stan laughed as he poured himself a rum and coke. “Yeah, and they were also there when we ran into you this morning outside. So, try again. Bill was, it?” He said over his cup, turning around to lean against the counter as he took a sip of his drink. Bill's face was flushed red, his competitive side clearly coming out, uninhibited by his usual social graces as he was already a good few drinks in.

“Is that a challenge, Uris?”

Stan shrugged again. “I wouldn't know.”

Bill frowned, taking a moment to think over the statement. It was a little bit too advanced for his drunk brain to handle.

“Stan, there you are!” Ben said, rounding a corner from the other way into the kitchen. “We were just looking for you, Bev made you a drink.”

“Oh sweet, thanks, I’ll have it after I finish this one.” Stan said genially, turning to Ben and Bev who had just entered the room.

“Bill, hey, what's up?” Bev called to the other boy, who was still standing with his face red and his arms crossed.

“Hi Bev.” He muttered, perturbed.

“Not having a good time at your own party?” Bev tried, jokingly, but clearly Bill wasn't in the mood. He just continued staring at Stan, who was busy filling Ben in on what had just went down with Eddie and Richie. Ben was laughing, Bev was watching him laugh, Stan was laughing, Bill was watching him laugh, and the whole thing was too much for Denbrough. He took a second to pour himself a drink before exiting the room.

______________________________________________________________

After about two minutes of being met with nothing but short one word answers to all of his questions, Richie grew a little bit bored of pestering Eddie. He knew he needed another drink, and Eddie had swatted his hand away when he tried to steal one of the beers. So he decided to give it a moment and go get another margarita. Sighing to himself, he went into the kitchen, which was thankfully empty. He poured himself something strong. He downed the whole thing, and then poured another. This he would sip on the couch with Eddie, hopefully at some point having some kind of real conversation. He couldn't figure out quite why it was that Eddie so desperately disliked him. But he had a feeling that the negative behavior was mostly coming from the fact that Eddie didn't look look like a party boy. He seemed to be thoroughly not enjoying himself, the sweaty bodies and spilled drinks all around him, the general messiness of Richie's house (which he could admit was worse than he would have liked). All of it was probably too much for a guy who wouldn't even wanna shake hands with someone. He figured that the more beers Eddie got down, (who seemed to be drinking them out of sheer nervousness, with no thought for how many he'd gone through already) that he would be more loose and willing to at least initiate conversation. Richie knew somewhere deep in the back of his mind that he was definitely looking for a hookup. He hadn't had a good fuck in months, and Eddie was beautiful. But he also knew that unless physical contact was initiated but the other boy he wouldn't even try with it. What he really wanted to break tonight was their barrier just as people. He wanted to at least get them onto a friend basis so he could continue to see the boy and talk to him. But this wouldn't happen if Eddie completely refused to carry a conversation. So his goal was clear; get Eddie drunk and get him to talk. With this in mind he went back into the living room. Eddie meanwhile had sat on the couch, praying and begging that Richie would get dragged off by someone who wanted to play some stupid drinking game with him. He started in on his third beer, silently hoping to himself that Richie would just leave him alone. Mike Hanlon was still in the room, beer pong game finally set up, and was currently refereeing for the two boys who were facing off. Eddie watched him absentmindedly in between drinks. Mike seemed like a nice enough guy; he had Ben’s approval and really didn't act too much like he was hot shit. Eddie could see having a good relationship with him, friendship wise, of course. But he didn't really know where else they'd run into each other rather than party scenes. Perhaps they could invite the other three frat boys over to their friendsgiving. The fleeting thought surprised Eddie; he wasn't usually one to try and reach out to new people. He’d had too many instances of getting scorned by someone who turned out to be just looking for a quick hookup or totally uninterested in any kind of friendship relationship. He was content with the friends that he had, and he knew that if he made any more it would be because they came into their friend group, not vise versa. Although he had a sneaking suspicion, and fear, that that was what was occurring as the minutes grew on. He knew for a fact that Ben was enjoying himself, and he knew Stan was gonna have a great night, which only meant one thing. His friends were getting sucked in, and they were going to very much continue going to the dumb Omega Nu parties, which meant Eddie would be constantly dragged along with them. He sighed, finishing off his can. It was gonna be a long night for sure. Just as he was sitting and steeping in his despondence, Richie came back over to him.

“Didn’t miss me too much, didya Eddie?” Richie joked as he settled in next to him, a little too close for Eddie’s taste but at this point he was really getting tired of trying to push the boy away.

“Not even a little bit.” He griped, cracking open his fourth can.

Richie laughed at him. “Jesus Eds, planning on drinking that whole thing yourself tonight?”

Eddie gave him a side-eyed look. Did this fucker just give me a nickname? A really shitty one at that?

“My name isn’t fucking Eds.”

“I'll take that as a yes.” Richie laughed to himself. He took a moment to take a drink out of his cup as well. Eddie pondered for a bit about what was in it, but decided it was better not to know. He was just fine with beer and he didn’t wanna fuck with anything stronger. Richie suddenly seemed to loosen up a little bit, but not in a way of relaxation, but rather kind of the opposite. It was like he was untightening the reigns that he had on his casual appearance.

“.. I know we started off on the wrong foot, but I’m really not as big of an asshole as I’m coming across.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Really. I’m having a difficult time believing that.”

“I’m serious! If you’d just take some time to get to know me, I’m sure you’d actually start to like me.” He smirked.

Eddie blanched a little bit at his forwardness. Unsure of what to say, he just closed his mouth and let Richie continue speaking.

“Unless you’d rather sit here by yourself moping around all night, while all your friends are off having fun.”

Eddie looked between the boy with the glasses and the beer can in his hand, taking a moment to mull over his decisions.

“Well, suit yourself then.” Richie got up as if to leave.

He supplied his thoughts with another wash of beer.

“You know what? Fine.”

Eddie knew one thing; he wasn’t fucking drunk enough for this.

______________________________________________________________

The porch light was still flickering, Bev noticed. She’d been here about two months ago for a party and came outside for a smoke and realized that their back porch light was probably in the process of going out. Every once in awhile it would flicker, signaling that it was running low on energy. She stared at it now absentmindedly as she quickly smoked her cigarette, trying to get it out of the way for the evening. She knew she could survive on one, especially if she was drinking, but it had been a few hours since her last one and she was getting a little antsy. Ben and Stan kindly agreed to go outside with her, though stood a little ways apart and upwind. The three of them carried on small talk well enough; she felt comfortable with the two boys and a little buzz going. They seemed to be enjoying themselves. Stan kept making cracks about the decor, Ben continuing to make jokes with him about Eddie's experiences inside, and all three of them were having a great time discussing a terrible professor they shared their freshman year. It was shaping up to be a great evening, and Bev was truly enjoying herself.

______________________________________________________________

authors notes: the drinking game mentioned? take a shot every time tom’s voice cracks in spiderman homecoming. try it. i dare u.

tagslist: @ayyyymichele @megelizabethvh @flickerflies @beepbeep-losers @tapetayloe @gazeboseddie @finnwollfhards @lemonadeandrice @i-is-gazebo @turtleneckrichie @reddieaddict @liznielsen19

53 notes · View notes

honestgrins · 7 years

Text

Love It or List It || Klaroline

Klaroline AU Week Day 1: Crossovers and Fusions

Caroline and Klaus are the popular hosts of HGTV's Love It or List It, and Bonnie is a huge fan. Their banter is so fun to watch, it's hard to believe they're not a real couple...

"But are they going to Love It…" Klaus smirked into the camera, winking.

"Or List It?" Caroline finished with a gentle hip-check to her co-host.

Bonnie avidly watched as the director called, "Cut!" to huddle with the cameraman, waving over the famous faces that filled her screen on a near-daily basis. "I still can't believe you got us on the show," she whispered excitedly to her wife.

Shrugging, Nora smoothed a smudge from Bonnie's lipstick. "It was the only way I could get you to consider a remodel. I figured you would be too distracted by Klaroline to put up a real fight."

"Oh, we're definitely moving," Bonnie automatically dismissed, "but we'll be moving into a house Caroline Forbes finds for us!"

The tenacious real estate agent always managed to find amazing contenders for the show, a seemingly perfect house that miraculously matched the buyers' demands. For Bonnie, it was like watching magic, and she didn't always understand how the clients turned down a dream home.

Except when she saw their real home redesigned with the Klaus Mikaelson touch, then it made sense. His artistic eye created a magic all its own, taking what was outdated and turning it into something beautiful.

"And can it on the Klaroline teasing, okay?" Bonnie quietly begged, embarrassed. "They'd just make a really cute couple."

She wasn't much for following celebrities, she preferred books and TV for her dramatic consumption. But if Bonnie had to choose a "will they, won't they" couple to buy tabloids about, Klaus and Caroline's chemistry would be worth the money. They were fiercely competitive with each other, despite keeping the trash talk at a light flirt. Entertainment blogs swore there was something going on between the interior designer and the realtor off-camera - they even had their own ship name - and she wanted to believe it was true.

The director had ushered her cameraman toward the living room, leaving behind her hosts bickering like an old married couple. Even as Nora pulled her toward them, Bonnie couldn't resist hanging onto the details of their murmured conversation. "You already shook on it, sweetheart. Surely you're not afraid of losing our wager."

Bristling, Caroline bit back her response when she saw their guests eyeing them in intrigue. "Hey," she effortlessly slid into a friendly host mode. "Are you two ready to talk about dream homes?"

"They're already in it, love," Klaus countered. "But we should discuss what it will take to make this home everything you want it to be."

"And," Caroline broke in, "how to make this a good experience for you both. Klaus and I can get competitive with each other, but this process isn't about us at all. I mean, I do have the better record so far-"

Klaus cleared his throat, amused. "However, these are your lives. We start with your ideas and desires, and you make final decisions. Period."

Caroline nodded in agreement. "Seriously, we may be total control freaks, but this is your show. Please don't hesitate to get us back on track for your vision, especially if this one tries to incorporate red walls and brown leather everywhere."

Holding his hand to his heart, Klaus's light tone was defensive. "I'm a professional, and I can appreciate that not everyone shares my impeccable taste for rich, warm tones."

"Can you? Can you really?"

Her cheeks hurting from smiling, Bonnie loved watching the back and forth between them. Even Nora was holding back a laugh until two quick snaps from the living room caught their attention."

"Children," the director called, clearly used to the banter. "Time to talk priorities. Enzo's all set up to film."

"Thanks, Kat," Caroline answered. She linked elbows with Bonnie, winking at Nora as she lead the way through the door. "Come on, let's talk about your dream house. I've got some great listings lined up for inspiration."

"Cheating's beneath you, love."

Glancing over her shoulder, Caroline stuck out her tongue. "Be ready to pay up, Mikaelson."

Bonnie turned up a curious gaze. "Pay up?"

"Running bet," Caroline shrugged.

Kat corralled them into position before Bonnie could ask more, because - damn - that was an interesting tidbit.

What did her favorite duo have as a running bet?

Klaus's hand scribbled over the tentative remodel plans, scratching notes as Nora rattled off her ideas. Bonnie, though, kept looking for hints that he and Caroline were closer than their audience knew. She had long since clocked a complete lack of wedding rings or mentions of significant others, but the way he kept sneaking glances to his co-host while she chatted with Kat had to mean something.

Right?

"Did you have any questions, Bonnie?" Klaus asked expectantly.

Blinking, she realized she had been staring a bit too pointedly at his face. "Um, no," she stammered. Her chest swelled with a sudden intake of breath. "How long have you and Caroline been working together?"

He smiled easily, shrugging off the non-sequitur. "The show's been running for three years."

Simple, direct - not nearly enough for Bonnie. "Caroline mentioned her record is better," she prodded. "Do you guys really keep score? Trade a trophy back and forth, maybe?"

A smaller grin, almost shy, pulled at his lips. "The satisfaction of winning is rarely enough," he answered, cryptic. "Raising the stakes makes things interesting."

Coughing delicately, though, Nora tried to bring the conversation back. "About the floors…" She sent a chastising look to her wife, lacing their fingers together in mild apology at another tempting thread of information lost. "I'd really prefer tile over laminate for the basement.

Crowded together on the front porch of Caroline's latest listing, Bonnie and Nora heatedly discussed their reactions to the seemingly charming ranch house - until they saw the inside. "I know it's superficial," Nora defended, "but the murals are creepy and too much."

"They can be painted over," Bonnie argued, though she definitely held back a shiver at the bad feeling some of the more lurid images inspired. "The closets were huge."

Nora snorted incredulously. "I'm still stuck on the frowning woman. She's just frowning, in every room. I can't imagine why anyone would want to paint the same woman over and over, let alone with such a grimace."

Shaking her head, Caroline locked the front door, careful to avoid looking at Enzo and the camera he held. "Artist types," she muttered simply. "They never want to give up a muse."

Enzo choked on a laugh, only for Caroline to glare at him after all. "Shut up."

With a puzzled tilt of her head, Bonnie wondered at the exchange and the possible clues it held for the mystery of Caroline's personal life. However, Nora started to gloat about how great the bathroom renovation was looking back home, and her hopes dwindled at finding another house in time for the final decision.

"No hard feelings," Caroline promised, giving both Nora and Bonnie goodbye hugs. They had finally chosen to love their remodeled home, even with Bonnie's stubborn insistence that moving was the only option she would accept. With the decision wrapped, the filming team was ready to take on the next project. "This place looks beautiful."

"Thank you, love." Klaus winked at Caroline and offered them a cordial handshake, though his charming smile was warmer after weeks of working together. "I hope you both enjoy it to the fullest."

Nora gave a private smile, squeezing her wife's hip. "We intend to. Thank you both so much, for everything."

"The pleasure was ours," Klaus answered. "Mine more than Caroline's, I'd wager."

With narrowed eyes, Caroline shook her head ruefully at the obvious pun. "Don't get cocky, there's always the next one. And it's easy to be happy for Bonnie and Nora getting to fall in love with their home all over again."

Bonnie waved as they continued to bicker all the way out of the house, wishing she had shored up the courage to ask what she really wanted to know. "They're totally dating, right?"

Letting out an amused sigh, Nora sidled up to where Enzo was packing away his camera. "Help my wife put her crazy theories to rest. Are Klaus and Caroline together, or what?"

The cameraman smirked, like he had been expecting a similar question all along. "Who, those two? That'd be a contentious marriage, to be sure. They do complement each other, I'll give them that - but they're both pretty private, you'd have to ask them."

"Do you know what their bet is, at least?" Bonnie asked.

But he shook his head, "Sorry, darling. Ignorance is bliss."

Sadly, Bonnie watched them leave. Despite the unsatisfying non-answer as to their relationship status, a part of her would still hold out hope for Klaroline.

They seemed so good together.

Letting himself into his own dream home, Klaus made his way to the back patio with the fresh art supplies he'd made a special trip to buy. "I think I want to focus on the line of your neck, brightened by the moonlight," he announced, smirking at the nearly naked blonde waiting for him. Grateful for the privacy fence surrounding their property, he dropped a kiss on her resigned pout.

Caroline set aside her phone with a mournful sigh, her silk robe snagging on the patio chair as she turned to face him. "Does that mean I can put on pants? My ass is freezing."

"You know the rules, sweetheart," he teased. Sitting beside her, his lips fell to graze the edge of her robe, slipping it aside so he could nibble at her bare skin. "I win a tastefully nude model, you win a naughty massage. No one likes a sore loser."

She snorted, leaning into his touch. "You married one," she pointed out. "Enjoy your victory while it lasts, hubby, because I will win the next one."

The corners of his lips turned up, and she could feel him smile against her neck. "Whatever you say, love."

Links: FFnet and AO3

#klarolineauweek #day one - crossovers and fusions #klaroline drabbles #klaroline #fandom love #fic: love it or list it #come sail away #guys i'm sorry if this sucks #i have a feeling all of my drabbles this week will suck #but i'm going to keep going because the plot bunnies won't stop running in my head #then the plan is to knock out a chapter of Delivered before switching to NaNo mode #again just sorry for all this #i hope you might like it anyway?

46 notes · View notes

decadang · 6 years

Text

The Last Jedi: Past, Present, and Failure [SPOILERS]

How’s that for a title? I don’t get paid enough for this. In fact, I don’t get paid at all, but TLJ is the exact kind of movie that prompts me to gather my thoughts and talk about it, so that’s what I’m going to do now. The last time I did this was with Justice League, though for wildly different reasons...little weird, but it’s been an interesting year.

I do want to try to structure this a bit more so I can cover everything, cause there’s a lot. If I go on some tangents here or there, forgive me, as when I do this it’s never a script or something that goes through drafts, just a stream of my thoughts. Let’s get started.

The major underlying theme and the crux of the story is that the past, for as fondly it can be remembered, was never a perfect time and that it’s worth looking back and learning from the good as well as the bad. It’d be nice to ignore the bad stuff and say that the good will guide us through the future, but the movie doesn’t do that, and based on the major characters’ actions, we, the audience, see how the story plays out and comes together.

Offshoots and other themes include growing up/adulthood, growing old and the differences between it and growing up, taking things for granted and why we shouldn’t, loss and rebirth of idols, the middle of extremes, leadership, and the unpredictability, challenges, and process of life as well as how it changes.

The main characters that drive these themes and learn from it are: Rey/Luke, Finn, Poe, and Kylo.

The main characters that guide the first group into these and how they deal with the consequences are: Rey/Luke, Yoda/R2, Rose, Leia, and Snoke. No, that’s not a typo - I’ll get to it, but you’ve seen the movie.

“But Mark, what about every other character?” Secondary or not nearly as important to the main themes, for the most part. Sorry to break your hearts, Porg-lovers.

Before I really begin with thematic elements, I want to address that yes, characters I didn’t mention are involved in the plot and they’re fun. But in a franchise as huge and sweeping as Star Wars, I feel like the plot ultimately is a throughline for the themes and characters. To me, a movie doesn’t elicit an emotional reaction because the plot is threaded and twisty, and I would bet that it’s the same for most of you - we’re not robots. Plus, we’ve already seen what happens when character is sacrificed for plot threads in Star Wars and I’m sure not going back there. Point is, if anyone I didn’t mention is your favorite, great! There’s just more going on with the true focal points that I’d rather not have to try and find a reason why BB-9E is an integral part of this.

So, from the beginning. The First Order is right on the Resistance and they’ve brought a Dreadnought, ship with massive power and threatening the last of the Resistance ships. Poe takes out the main cannons, paves the way for bombers to take it down, and gets out of there alive and well while pulling off some damn cool moves. In the end, a lot ends up being lost, including Rose’s sister.

But that’s okay, yeah? The ship is gone, and a Star Wars movie began with a space battle, just like it always does. There’s always a character that dies by themselves on a ship, too, so that’s pretty normal. The moment where Poe drifts and outfoxes the fighters is great, and we can celebrate now.

Here’s the divergence. Where any of the other movies probably would have just wiped immediately to the next new moment, we instead see Leia looking at the lost ships and feeling the pressure of what’s to come. That’s why she tries to stop Poe from going forward with the bombing, even though it feels good to him and the audience to see it happen as it’s initially presented. I think that this scene with Leia at the desk and the fallout are the most important parts of this initial space battle, as well as how it serves both Leia and Poe as characters within the framework of their experience and of course, the themes.

From the very beginning, TLJ takes something we’ve always accepted and taken for granted as part of Star Wars and takes it somewhere new, showing a confidence in the story it wants to tell as well as a respect for its audience in a way that Star Wars hasn’t really done before. Since we’re on the subject of Poe and his journey, I think it’s fair to continue with him so we see where else he fits.

Even though the entire cast of characters is split apart for so long, it’s the thematic elements that keeps them all closer than they appear. Poe’s growth and arc I think isn’t so much becoming an inspiring leader, at least not yet. He’s still the flyboy, and it’d be easy to say he’s supposed to mirror Han, but I think that isn’t where he’s gone or is going at all, and that’s very heavily on purpose. Han meets Leia and they clash and banter, and they fall in love. Poe meets Leia and they clash and oppose each other, and they end up respecting each other to a degree where Leia trusts Poe to lead the Resistance.

For this new trilogy to set itself apart and become the new chapters in Star Wars that make us care about them, it’s very important that the main four NOT be like the main four of the original trilogy - Luke/Leia/Han/Vader and Rey/Finn/Poe/Kylo, in case it needs to be spelled out.

This is why I think TFA is unfairly chastised for being like ANH. Sure, the story beats and callbacks are familiar, but it’s a true new take because the characters are new. and exciting They are not expies and that’s especially true after TLJ. More with this when we get to Rey and Luke.

As for Finn, he’s actually pretty selfish at the beginning of the story. Now that I think about it, the more I like that this entire movie follows pretty much right after TFA, because seeing the development on-screen instead of timeskipping ties into the main topic and point of this essay, a lot.

Anyway, Finn is all but ready to leave and find Rey because he basically only cares about her and if she is safe from harm. It’s a sweet sentiment if you look at it from his point of view, but this is The Last Jedi, and challenge is the name of the game. That’s why Rose is so important to both Finn and their story tying into the main theme. In spite of how small the Resistance is, Finn still would rather save himself and Rey, and I’m so glad Rose is there to call him out.

Maybe the framing of Canto Bight could have been better, in terms of cinematography and humor, etc, but the most important part of this sequence is the theme and the conversations the two have. No, not the obvious societal messages, important as they are. When DJ shows Finn that the Resistance and the First Order both benefit from people outside the conflict, he sees both sides and even though the Resistance is ultimately fighting for good, the bad should be addressed. This is something the original trilogy never did and maybe never wanted to do. Does that make this new take wrong? Hardly. Johnson and his story and direction add so many layers and depth to Star Wars that the originals maybe would never touch on, and it’s done with such confidence that I can’t help but admire it. Plus, it’s a good thing to do - reflect on your side, on your self, and see the bad for what it is so you can make yourself better.

After Finn learns a real, valuable lesson, he’s actually ready to fight for more than just himself and Rey, he’s ready to fight for real, for the Resistance. That’s why his willingness to sacrifice himself, that fight with Phasma, that moment where you think he might die, they’re all powerful. Try not to focus on that Phasma is a bit left out of the main story, focus on what it means for Finn. It’s the same thing as Boba Fett - sure, he looks awesome, but he doesn’t make the movies he’s in great.

I am slightly disappointed that he didn’t die, and the romance with him and Rose is kind of sloppy, but I’m also glad he’s still around because John Boyega brings some real great stuff to both the character and the movies.

Now...the big one. The movie’s not called The Last Jedi for nothing. We’re going to be talking a lot of characters here so hopefully it’s not too much of a read. Rey as both a character and an audience surrogate works so well that I think the only people who don’t like her character may not really have more than superficial reasons to dislike her.

When you are a child and see Star Wars, experience the story, the legends of Luke Skywalker, do you want to be him? To learn from him? To see him succeed, no matter the odds? Of course! And guess what? Rey does too. She is the true main character of this trilogy - at least, one half of them, and that’s why it’s important to bring her down and have her deal with these feelings and consequences, because it’s important for us, as people, to do the same things.

Why is it that the darkness underneath the island is a mirror? And why would Luke be so scared of it? I mean, it doesn’t harm Rey when she finds it and looks into it, right? Huh...

Why’s this important? Rey does idolize Luke, yes, but he does the exact same thing. When you save the galaxy and are immortalized as this living legend, someone who might be able to do no wrong? That would get into your head. You are THE successful one, the one who people look up to for generations - not only in the story, but in life. Why else do we hold the originals in such regard if not for Luke the absolute most?

Let’s go back to an earlier point, that these new characters not be like the old ones. Rey wants so desperately for Luke to save the day, or train her so that she can do it, just like he did. When he says no, she persists, and he does train her, but not to fight. The entire scene where she really feels what the Force is, the true balance of the world, that’s powerful. But it’s not the end for her arc, not by a long shot.

Luke is so afraid of failure that he won’t face the mirror below...but Rey pushes to understand it, head-on. Not just because she’s a bit impulsive and childlike, but because she’s trying to conquer her fear. Even though her fear becomes true, that the hero worship isn’t the most important that about Luke, and that her parents aren’t anything more than nobodies, she still, at the end of the film, finds new resolve and in that way becomes a true successor to Luke. Not by being him, but being her own person.

And no, I don’t think that Rey’s parents might be actually important. The scene where it’s revealed they aren’t - that line comes from her, not Kylo. He just presents the question.

Before we get to Kylo, I need to touch on Luke some more. THE legend. Untouchable, infallible, even. But what does he do in this movie? He failed. And so the audience and Rey, who had spent so much time believing he couldn’t, also feel like they failed. Tough pill to swallow, huh?

We never like to think about it with these heroes or ourselves, but no one is ever perfect. It seems so obvious that other peoples’ problems are out there, and I don’t have those problems, so I must be better than them, right? I hate to break it to you, but life isn’t wired that way. It’s not a switch you turn on when you go out in public and turn off when you go to bed.

A reality check on this level probably would rattle a lot of heads if you’d never experienced that before. Poe goes through one, Finn, Rey, and now Luke is about to. It’s this theme that really lifts the scenes with Luke meeting Yoda and R2 again to a height that transcends the original trilogy. Luke, for all his training, his learning, his now age and wisdom, still had so much to learn in this movie - as Yoda says, failure is our greatest teacher.

Age does not make you better, not on its own, and neither does knowledge. It’s how you handle it and your perspective that defines who you are. Yes, Luke’s perspective when it came to Kylo was wrong, and the weight of that choice is why he severed his Force connection and wanted to live out his days dying. But that inherent heroism I think is still present in Luke in this movie, otherwise he could have easily offed himself. Would that have been unceremonious? Uh, yeah. That’s why it didn’t happen that way in the story and why I think some who say Luke’s heart and true character were lost maybe might want to take a breath to look at his journey in this movie.

Why does Luke face Kylo in the final confrontation and not Rey? Why isn’t he the battling, heroic legend? Because, well...he’s not that any more. The entire movie establishes that point. His projection at the end isn’t just his image, but his newfound resolve against what Kylo has become, his renewed faith in Rey and the idea of hope, and the love he feels for Leia, even after being gone for so long.

Okay, now Kylo. Oh my goodness. Alongside Rey, he might be the most developed character in Starr Wars, at least on-screen. So Kylo actually embraces the theme of letting the past go the most in the movie, and not just because he says the line that most echoes that statement.

It’s his reasoning for killing Han in TFA, his reasoning for killing Snoke, and his reasoning for nearly killing Luke and Leia. For Leia, well, that exchange between them, without any dialogue, said so much that I don’t think my words could do it justice.

The true opposite balance with him and Rey serves their characters to such a great degree. Let’s take a lesson from their circumstances. Kylo came from royal blood, Jedi blood, love and care, and still he is the villain. Rey came from basically nothing, just some unknown power that dwells within her, and she’s the hero.

Just because you have everything doesn’t mean you are whole.

Just because you have nothing doesn’t mean you’ll never find anything worthwhile about yourself.

I imagine Snoke is killed by Kylo because Snoke represents what he might resent most about authority figures in his life, and their need to cultivate him into something great. Han and Leia entrust his youth to Luke, to make him a great Jedi. It should have been easy, but it wasn’t. But even when he goes to Snoke, he’s conflicted. Not because he wants to be with the light, as we learn, but because he doesn’t want to be with either. He just wants to be. While that’s something we could all strive to be, Kylo does it with such passionate anger and hatred that it leads him to believe his way must be the only right way, and that’s why he’s an incredible villain, a perfect foil to Rey.

There’s so many more things I could talk about here, but this is getting pretty long and I think the major points I wanted to make are all present.

The Force Awakens reminds me of why I like Star Wars.

The Last Jedi solidifies why I love Star Wars and indeed, a lot of my favorite stories.

It’s real, it’s not easy, it’s unforgettable, and it’s Star Wars, really maturing and growing up.

Maybe it’s time we do the same.

#star wars #star wars: the last jedi #spoilers #tlj spoilers

2 notes · View notes

kendrixtermina · 7 years

Text

Extra Typology Vol #2 - 24. The Types ft. Stress Reactions

Common flaws and breaking points manifested by the types, and some advice on how to overcome them.

[Here comes the real talk]

Lunar

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly Honesty’ - Viewing the world in a clear, simple way, even a sophisticated adult individual may on occasion speak or actin a way that others find naive, inept or innapropriate. Even when the Lunar knows, from experience. that behaving a particular way will not give them the result they want, they will continue to do so, with the excuse that it’s just what they “have” to do on matter of principle - they may secretly be proud of their ‘honesty’, yet they will suffer when they see how others react. They know that they should not tell the world everythng about themselves and what they are doing - yet they will also not be able to draw a line and curb their deadly honesty.

They may also have a curiously over-developed and skewed sense of responsibility that leads them to agree to things that have nothing to do with thm, or that put them in a difficult position. They promise things that they should not, and then suffer trying to keep the promise.

Unhappiness: Typically approaches the outside world with confidence and kindness, but retreats into their internal world when this is rebuffed. They leave as an expression of their inner pain and pile on the agressin in hope that this will somehow turn off the pain.

They’ll reject help from the outside because they believe it’s better to be internaly ‘locked down’ - exposing their terror and pain to the outside world, and having the other side make an inadequate and unhelpful intervention is worse than coping on their own - so they’ll both isolate themselves rather than communicating, and fabricate increasingly unlikely ideas about ho to “get out of it” - by the time they let the outside world in, things have already gone seriously out of whack and they now for someone to turn into a “savior” or parental substitute, ending out seeking out scenarios in which they can be helpless and the object of sympathy when what they really need is to have their strenghts validated and supported.

Solutions: Cultivate a sense of self-protection. Let go of the notion that you have to speak out about everything you know. Do not see yourself as the one who magically sorts out everyone else’s mess.

Facing the consequences of your actions without running away or drowning in self-pity will always be an invaluable life lesson, as long as you accept emotional responsibility toward yourself and others.

[Sigh. ‘Tis some real-talk there. I’ll need to meditate on that.]

Venus

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly image-consciousness’ - the idea that beauty requires pain. Fixation on appearance to an unhealthy, self-destructive degree, from wearing uncomfortable clothes & makeup all the way to unhealthy body shame and being unable to cope with aging - Being a slave to image requires discipline, but the rewards are often transitory and without real worth

Unhappiness: They may feel that they can only be happy when they feel themselves well reflected in the opinions of others. Being far from the centre of intellectual thought, they may react to fleeting, valueless comments in their version of seriousness and genuinely suffer as a result - the need to compare well & please everyone becomes a form of slavery, particularly since they always have to overcome their natural inertia to do so.

They may deny themselves experiences, reasoning that it might be too uncomfortable (wrong weather etc.) all the while wishing for someone to sweep them out of their languor, but as this type works indirectly, they fail to communicate that, and the other, not being a mind-reader, may not be capable of the “big gesture” they secretly crave - the more unhappy they become, the more they concentrate on winning a beautiful mate and they more they will be strapped to appearances - which can also lead to defeat because others may see right through their expensive haircuts, and this form of vanity is liable to transform into feelings of self-loathing and undesirability at the drop of a hat, made all the worse by their desire to pretend that all is perfect, leading them to act the most snobbish when they feel the most vulnerable.

So they might continue to escape into soap-operas and celebrity gossip where everyone talks mechanically about feelings and the tiniest perceived slight is discussed as a matter of crucial importance and, especially if they’re inexperieced, actually try to live that sort of life.

Their reliance on the opinions of others may cause them to overlook their own emotional intelligence and struggle with a kind of self-imposed caste system where they can only be with people of similar clothes & interest.

Solutions: Rejoice in the thought that how we look isn’t really that important & that real beauty is on the inside. Allow yourself to be comfortable!

Volunteering to help others may be beneficial - seeing how others survive might provide a sense of perspective. You should stop caring about ‘perfection’ how how you’re letting yourself down - check out creative pursuits but don’t turn them into a competition. Once you can accept ‘good enough’, get casual and stop bothering about physical and/or financial appearances, you will become internally free and then both you and others can enjoy your natural warmth and sensuousness.

Mercury

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly Drive’ - Not mining your own gold. This type may begin projects with promise but give up before taking the time needed to bring their efforts to fruition. They may not allot much time to their intimate relationships either, developing a nervous “well that’s just me” shrung when each attempt doesn’t pan out, without slowing down to accept that they could have behaved differently - Over the years the sum total of this behavior is the self-inflicted belief that “whatever I do, it’s not good enough.”.

Unhappiness: This type may be tempted to use their pepetual business as an escape from fear: What happens if they slow down? What thoughts of death and feelings of despair are they keeping at bay by never stopping?

So, they’ll still be on the lookout for new projects, gimmicks and opportunities, but they become misused as a mere distraction from the pile of half-finished projects they aready carry around, looking for “magic solutions” for their growing dissatisfaction - they thrive on the ‘initial energy’ of a project but are all too ready to slap on a generic rendition of the idea rather than invest time & commitment - and when they have to stop & take stock, because their latest endeavour has come adrift, they judge themselves hashly and fall easily into self-loathing over all the wasted potential.

Solutions: Accept that you have the ability to change your course. Focus on quality, not just quantity. Learn to chill physically and mentally - you may be a moving type, but you are capable of adding thought to your actions. Devote real portions of your life to grounded, well-conceived and properly executed projects or relationships.

Try to find a balance between frenetic activity and ‘crashing’. Don’t believe that you have love “all figured out” if you drift by on superficial charme but actually have a cold, distant attitude towards your partners. Have a friend or college review your various enterpises & formulate a plan for dealing with each project or interest.

Saturn

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly Seriousness’ - instead of retaining some lightness and fun, they might smother the spark and insist on the driest of fact and behavior all the way to puitanism. This can lead to pedantic plodding, arguing tiny, inconsequential issues with missionary zeal.

Unhappiness: Your basic “tortured artist” routine, embracing both creativity & darkness - They feel things intellectually and sight deeply as they pull their bodies through the day. Worth becomes both a touchstone and a burdenas everything needs to be questioned, evaluated and determined. They work in depht, in seclusion or isolation, driven by a passion for the subject, but become bitter at what they see as society’s inability to appreciate the fruits of their labor - and they may labor on tiny adjustments, such as a partiular word so that what they produce has a sense of agony about it.

Because they seek worth & meaning in everything, they assume that everyone else does, too, examining careless coments for their ‘secret meanings’; A thoughtless act will cause them agony because they won’t stop to think if it was deliberate: They automatically assume it and do not qeustion it.

This deep seriousness also leads them to ut themselves off from lightness and joy, so in the later stages of unhapiness, this can take on a somewhat self-destructive bent - because there is unhappyness in the world, they cannot feel happy. Instead, they blame the world for not recognizing their worth and deliberately shut down their admirable sense of worth in favor of cynical, world-weary disbelief in anything positive.

Solutions: Indulge without guilt. Explore lightness and frivolity. Recognize that not everything deserves the same seriousness. Forgive others for what you perceive as their shortcommings, shallowness and ignorance. People are much more likely to take your advice if you cool it with the judgyness.

Acknowledge that you cannot, all by yourself, bring the entire world up to greater consciousness - instead, re-awaken your own need for comfort and relief, which is also part of human nature. Study joy and the physical world, and integrate these concepts into your mental world - after all, you are admirably placed when it comes to learning new things, and not every conversation needs to be a tussle with conscience, morality, mortality and divine justice.

Mars

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly Control’ - The Mars type’s forceful charm and bold initiative can deteriorate into a constant life-or-death ego struggle. Their naturally combative energy easily becomes an ugly, endless confrontation. When lost in deadly control, a dysfunctional Mars type would rather have their house burn down than be criticized for not having a smoke alarm. The cumulative toll of years of over-intense engagement may rob them of the golden years of retirement.

Unhappiness: In positive mode, this type is dynamic and draws peopl into their orbit, however, emotionally speaking, they experience their affect as being liable to change and may paranoically suspect others of doing the same.

They’ll act confident, but ask “How am I doing?” as though they have a sense of putting energy out but needing external validation, surprising those around them. As a “doing” type, they have a need to constantly do something in order to shore up their self-opinion - although they might seem powerful, their inner vacillations and need for a fight wears on them, too - and then they try to make everything ‘wonderful’, like the businessman buying his neglected wife a fancy necklace, but when this doesn’t do the trick, they revert to agression - but are still hurting, even though they cannot show their vulnerability.

If they cannot step outside their type’s limitations, they need the other side to draw the line - so they push people often intuitively hoping the other side will stand up for themselves - if they do, the Mars type will happily relax, enjoying a scenario in which they don’t always have to make the decision or the threat, but sometimes, they end up alienating family, friends an business associates - this is actually disturbing for the Mars type themselves, because they long for harmony and respect - So they’ll try to find a ‘magic solution’ or ‘holy grail’ all the while thinking that “This time, I will win” - unfortunately, the solution they’ll pick will be unrealistic and childish in the light of the divide their created, a bandaid on a bullethole, and when it doesn’t work, they may walk out to the street, wanting to fight someone or even everyone.

Solutions: Learn to let go, and learn to consider the other. Strive for win-win solutions. Develop a taste for generosity & acceptance.

Allow yourself to be surrounded with accepting, generous love - even a constant warrior needs time to bathe & lick their wounds, as unthinkable as thi may seem when you are riding high. Be open to gestures of love when you least expect them. Learn to trust that you are okay instead of following the unconscious need to pit yoursel aganst others and life. A lot of Mars types often find fulfillment in becoming involved in charitable work or anything else that is visibly productive but non-competitive, where you can use your strenght for the greater good.

Jupiter

Counterproductive Behaviors: ‘Deadly self-sacrifice.’ - An over-developed sense of guilt involving personal penance can leed to an ongoing personal creed of self-denial. (”Martyr Complex”) At some point you aren’ saving ressources, just burning yourself up and, eventually, out. Living in squalor while paying the bills for individuals who could do it themselves just fine is not ‘saint-like’, it’s called “being taken advantage of”, and the other party might well walk away one day without a word of thanks.

Unhappiness: This type desperately wants to believe that things will be alright in the world - hence, they might be tempted to lie to themselves and others because the truth is too difficult, and cling to the convenient belied that there is a ‘saviour’ somewhere who will bring peace to themselves and the world.

Perhaps overly impacted by the ills of the world, the Jupiter type may develop a mechanical “that’s terrible” response to everything rather than actually doing what they can to change and improve things - others see them as suffering for the universe whilst inside they may actually be feeling sorry for themselves.

They may neglect their true needs and indulge themselves in uneccesary pain; They may take a perverse delight in breaking up with someone because they can use it as an opportnity to say that they don’t have any emotional needs: Everything is for ‘others’. Having denied their needs and dissapointed those who offered them love, they may take refuge in conventional religion or mystics and wait for ‘salvation’.

Solutions: ‘God helps the ones who help themselves’. Don’t expect to be showered with supernatural gold for your self denial - helping others should begin from a platform of personal strenght and security. Establish yourself, and you will have more ability to help, not less.

Instead of idly waiting for revelation and sanctification, you would gain more by accomplishing small, real tasks that suit your home-loving orientation - put the principles of the saints into effect, be the change you wish to see, without vainly believing that you yourself are ‘saintly’ or holding yourself to self-flaggelating, ‘saintly’ standards. Ask yourself what you can do and then simply do it.

You will also be helped by drawing a line under the suffering and giving yourself over to lightness - You’ll find happiness nurturing yourself by doing the things you’d otherwise feel guilty doing.

Hybrid Types

The hybrid types may face the weaknesses and temptations of one or both of their influences, as well as the additional problem that their disparate goals/ natures may pull them apart and throw them into conflict. However, they also have the advantages of both types to help them find their way out of it & many of them lead happy lives.

#extraTypology #typology #12 type enneagram

2 notes · View notes

cstesttaken · 7 years

Text

Weight Loss Honesty Essay

Photo: Getty Images

I was 13 years old when my dad brought home our first digital scale. It was Christmas, and at first it provoked the same excitement I felt whenever we got any sort of newfangled, vaguely techy object in those more analog days. I rarely weighed myself before that, usually only at annual doctor’s visits, but this machinery was sleek and shiny, with the ability to tell weight to the absurdly precise tenth of a pound.

It’s not that I didn’t already know that I was severely overweight. If the difficulty finding clothing that fit and the perpetual physical discomfort hadn’t already clued me in, fellow middle schoolers’ flip cruelty would’ve done it. But seeing the number on the scale was my come-to-Jesus — or, rather, come-to-Atkins — moment. I stopped housing restaurant-size dishes of fettuccine alfredo like I was a tween Caligula at a banquet, I reluctantly started exercising, and I convinced myself that flavored seltzer was a treat. (I was way ahead of the curve with that last one.)

Within a year, I lost all the weight I wanted to, and have more or less maintained it since. It wasn’t all that simple or straightforward, but both then and now, I rarely discussed the effort I put into what was a major, ultimately positive life change. For one thing, talking about your diet is inherently uninteresting. But I also held back out of a specific sense of shame that I couldn’t necessarily articulate at the time. I was bookish, inquisitive, and defiant, and I prided myself on those qualities; even though I deeply wanted to lose weight, this desire felt vain and ignoble, an admission that I cared about how others saw me.

I’ve been reminded of that feeling often since then, especially as the body-positivity movement has gained traction and weight has felt increasingly politicized. When Marisa Meltzer explored dieting as a feminist taboo for Elle back in 2013, she admitted, “the guilt I once felt about what I ate has been replaced by guilt over being the wrong kind of feminist — or maybe no kind of feminist: a woman pursuing something as pedestrian and frankly boring as losing weight.” She theorized that many self-identifying feminists who struggle with their weight may feign an attitude of indifference as a front. In the years since her essay was published, I suspect that’s only become more common.

Back in 2013, Meltzer pointed to Lena Dunham as the ultimate self-acceptance icon.Her body has been subject to relentless, often harsh, scrutiny since Girls first aired; most recently, the focus has been on her noticeable weight loss, due in part to working out with Tracy Anderson and eating a more plant-based diet. She’s been vocal in objecting to positive press. A couple of weeks back, Dunham responded to a magazine that included a new photo of her next to the headline “20 Slimdown Diet Tips Stars Are Using.”In a widely circulated Instagram post, she attributed her smaller figure to everything from her long-running battles with endometriosis and anxiety to living in Trump’s America and “realizing who ya real friends are.”She’d previously written, “my weight loss isn’t a triumph … because my body belongs to ME — at every phase, in every iteration, and whatever I’m doing with it, I’m not handing in my feminist card to anyone.”

Regardless of the whys and hows of Dunham’s weight loss, I’m struck by the highly charged way the discussion progressed. Numerous publications (especially woman-centric ones) praised her reaction. But, I found myself wondering, what if she had just wanted to lose some weight for the sake of losing some weight? Should it really be all that controversial or shameful to want to control how you look, especially if you have a job that keeps you in the public eye? Must dropping a few pounds come with a disclaimer, or 20? If women used to avoid saying they were on a diet because it might not seem cool or fun, now we worry about the possibility of offending others or losing our “feminist card.”

Fat acceptance was indeed born during the same era as second-wave feminism; today, body positivity and pop feminism exist as the significantly less radical, more widespread versions of their predecessors. As these ideals have deviated further from their origins, becoming more watered-down and commercialized, they’ve also become inextricably linked. A typical triumphant viral web-story plotline, especially for women’s sites, involves a woman “clapping back” at “body shamers.” Body positivity is now a savvy branding move: Take ModCloth, which pledged not to use Photoshop and publicly lent their support to the 2016 Truth in Advertising Act, calling for federal regulation of airbrushing in ads. (The indie retailer sold to Walmart earlier this year.) Andwhen Dove created soap bottles modeled on different female body shapes, it was hilariously misguided and widely panned — but it was also a natural extension of the infantilizing way businesses have attempted to profit off this mind-set.

It’s not like the industry devoted to shrinking us down has taken a blow: We can hardly go a few weeks without hearing about a new diet plan that features seemingly arbitrary restrictions (what, exactly, is wrong with mushrooms?) or an insanely punishing cleanse. But now, when it comes to actually discussing the deliberate changes we make to our bodies, we either wrap them in innuendo or scramble to deny them altogether, in an attempt to appear more enlightened.

One cultural barometer is the way celebrities talk about their eating and exercise habits (and the media coverage they generate). Unsurprisingly, it’s a long-standing tradition to ask people whose job it is to look conventionally attractive how they got that way and what they consume every day. But few ever admit to being on a diet — nobody wants to reveal how the sausage, or, more appropriately, the grilled chicken breast, is made. “Wellness” has also become a catch-all euphemism that allows one to admit to undertaking a transformation, but chalk it up to “health” instead of superficiality. Eva Mendes couched an answer about her routine by saying that she eats “clean” and, because she’s busy, truly enjoys having the same thing for lunch and dinner every single day. Spoiler: It’s salmon, quinoa, and salad. (“Eva Mendes’s Simple Eating Regimen Is So Refreshing,” Refinery29 gushed, either in willful ignorance or a profound misunderstanding of what a diet is.) A Glamour listicle titled “10 Celebrities Who DGAF About Eating Healthy” celebrated stars like Gigi Hadid, Emma Stone, and Jennifer Lawrence for being “quick to admit eating burgers, pizza, or red velvet cupcakes is just part of life,” though something tells me that, based on the industry they’re in, they must G at least a tiny bit of AF. At least Lawrence — whose meteoric rise to become America’s sweetheart was certainly aided by red-carpet sound bites about loving McDonald’s— finally admitted: “‘I don’t feel like I have a normal body.’ I do Pilates every day. I eat, but I work out a lot more than a normal person.”

The current cultural discomfort around dieting has trickled down to how even I — someone with firsthand experience undertaking significant weight loss — react when confronted with it. When acquaintances said they were trying Whole30 for the new year or posted hashtagged meal shots to Instagram, I remember balking: My first reaction was to think that they didn’t seem like the type of people to go on a diet, much less talk about dieting. (By contrast, the girls I knew in high school and college who now appear to be engaged in a Facebook weight-loss-shake pyramid scheme definitely do fit the mold I associate with “people who diet”— though are their motivations really all that different?) While visiting an old friend, I noticed that she had downloaded MyFitnessPal and felt an odd rush of embarrassment, like I had accidentally stumbled onto something I wasn’t supposed to see. We could talk to each other about our sex lives without batting an eyelash, yet counting calories seemed like a step too far.

I’m not saying we should necessarily be talking about our diets more — again, it’s boring, and I’m generally a proponent of all of us dialing back our abundant over-sharing a bit. But what a relief it would be to shed the anxiety surrounding how we discuss them, to lose the doublespeak and welcome more honesty.

Source

http://nymag.com/thecut/article/weight-loss-diets-body-positivity-honesty.html

1 note · View note

nataliesnews · 4 years

Text

From: Natanya Sent: Sunday, February 23, 2020 3:08 PM To: Natanya <[email protected]> Subject: FW: She has written what is in my heart and I have not known how to say Home > Opinion Opinion Israel’s Dark Times Are Already With Us, Mr. President Ilana Hammerman SendSend me email alerts Feb 21, 2020 11:35 PM 0comments Print Zen • 275share on facebook Israeli soldiers detain a Palestinian cameraman during clashes with Palestinians in the village of Tuqu, West Bank, January 25, 2019.Mussa Issa Qawasma / Reuters Open your eyes and see them, Mr. President – you, Reuven Rivlin, who said the publication of the list of businesses with ties to West Bank settlements was “reminiscent of dark periods in our history.” Those dark periods are here, right here, right now. They’re here in Jerusalem, your city and mine. Go to the Shoafat refugee camp and see the crowded ghetto that has arisen behind the barriers walling in Arab residents of Jerusalem. Go to Silwan and Sheikh Jarrah and see how Arab families are evicted in Jerusalem neighborhoods, their homes becoming Jewish property. Join the Flag March that takes place in the Old City every year and see the masses of Jews parading through the narrow alleys, where all the shops are closed out of fear. Isn’t this what happened to the Jews in the “dark periods”? Continue on to the Jordan Valley and see how Bedouin shepherds are evicted by Jewish settlers, how Jewish vehicles speed into the Bedouin's flocks and soldiers from the Jewish army demolish their tents and tin shacks in the middle of the night. The soldiers leave men, women, children and babies exposed to the bitter cold of the winter nights and the scorching heat of the summer days. If you see this with your own eyes, such a decent man as yourself, your yearning Jewish soul that so reveres the memories of the past would surely cringe. If only I had the talent of spoken word artist Yossi Zabari, I would declare in his rhythmic Hebrew about this dark period of ours: “New in the frozen section you can find high-quality cannon fodder that was lovingly raised on Zionism and the sacredness of the land, with no artificial additives or love of the stranger and respect for the other and the sanctity of life.” And I would ask and respond as he does: To compare or not to compare, that is not the question, that is the duty.” Yes, this is the most important lesson for us Jews in Israel more than 80 years later. Salman Learned German jurists In Germany, tens of thousands of political opponents who were defeated in a democratic election were imprisoned in the concentration camps long before the Jews. The authorities shut down their organizations and publications – they could no longer object without risking their lives. Then the persecution of Jews was honed in an elaborate system of laws whose gradual construction was overseen by learned jurists and whose application was put in the hands of the courts. And the life of “Aryan” Germans went on as usual. Every liberal and humanist (not necessarily “leftist”) Israeli must read a book – translated into English as “Defying Hitler” – by the journalist (and jurist) Sebastian Haffner, who left Germany in 1938, long before the extermination camps were built. The process he went through must be compared to what is happening in Israel now. As Haffner put it, while he was experiencing the events, he couldn’t gauge their significance. He intensely felt the choking, nauseating character of it all but couldn’t grasp the constituent parts and put them together. He wrote that despite his generation’s historical and cultural education, they were completely helpless to deal with something that didn’t feature in anything they had learned. How meaningless were their explanations, how infinitely foolish their attempts at justification, how hopelessly superficial the jerry-rigged constructions with which the intellect tried to cover up the feeling of dread and disgust. Daily life also made it difficult to see the situation clearly. Life went on, though now it had become ghostly and unreal, and was mocked every day by the events going on in the background. The only place he felt sure of himself was at the courts, though for now the courts’ activities seemed to lack meaning. He and his girlfriend kept on going to the cinema, had meals in a small wine bar, drank Chianti and went dancing. He still saw his friends and had discussions with acquaintances. Family birthdays were still celebrated as they had always been. As he put it, it was this automatic continuation of ordinary life that hindered any strong reaction against the horror. A destroyed Jewish-owned store in Magdeburg, Germany, after Kristallnacht, which took place on November 9-10, 1938. German Federal Archives / Wikimedia Commons As Victor Klemperer saw it The horrors at that time were the gradual denial of civil and human rights to the Jews living in Germany. A Romance languages professor, Victor Klemperer, documented this in his journals that provide an incomparable record; they were put in book form and translated into English as “I Will Bear Witness.” A former convert from Judaism and a German patriot who lived to see the Reich defeated, he too described society as the events were occurring, in disbelief that things went so far. In 1936, he wrote that when he saw the mass of people happy and peaceful, he believed less than ever in any change in Germany’s political situation. In 1938 he noted how a gardener and a grocer he knew agreed completely: They said they had no idea what was happening, they didn’t read the newspapers. Klemperer wrote that people were apathetic and indifferent. The grocer told him that it all seemed like cinema to him. People simply regarded it all as a theatrical sham. Klemperer was astonished at the ease with which German society and German citizens accepted the collapse of democracy and the infringement of civil rights and liberties; they even considered this a price worth paying for Hitler’s foreign policy successes. Later he observed, again with some amazement, how the Germans, including the seemingly decent ones, preferred to close their eyes to injustices done to him and all German Jews, based on the law, even if these Jews were friends, neighbors and acquaintances. In 1940, as still in 1942 and 1943, Klemperer mentioned the people who were horrified to learn of the restrictions imposed on him as a Jew. No, they didn’t know, they regretted to hear it. These things must be compared to what his happening here, in Israel, where many people “regret” that their country denies civil and human rights to millions of people who live under its military rule, that it persecutes, humiliates and expels them, steals their property, imprisons them in enclaves and ghettos and is turning this reality into a permanent situation, not just a year or two but half a century already. Yes, they regret it, but they go on with their comfortable lives and do nothing about it. It must be compared, not because no regimes are worse than Israel’s oppressive regime, but because these are exactly the things that were done to us in the dark periods of our history. They happened in a modern society in the heart of supposedly enlightened Europe, whose countries closed themselves off to Jews and where many collaborated with Nazi Germany. This is our Jewish lesson. It’s not: Let the Israeli army win in the Palestinian cities and villages. It’s: Don’t let racism and fascism win in Israel. Ilana Hammerman Haaretz Contributor Send me email alerts Yreferable

From: Natanya Sent: Sunday, February 23, 2020 3:08 PM To: Natanya <[email protected]> Subject: FW: She has written what is in my heart and I have not known how to say

Israeli soldiers detain a Palestinian cameraman during clashes with Palestinians in the village of Tuqu, West Bank, January 25, 2019.Mussa Issa Qawasma / Reuters

Open your eyes and see them, Mr. President – you, Reuven Rivlin, who said the publication of the list of businesses with ties to West Bank settlements was “reminiscent of dark periods in our history.” Those dark periods are here, right here, right now.

They’re here in Jerusalem, your city and mine. Go to the Shoafat refugee camp and see the crowded ghetto that has arisen behind the barriers walling in Arab residents of Jerusalem.

Go to Silwan and Sheikh Jarrah and see how Arab families are evicted in Jerusalem neighborhoods, their homes becoming Jewish property. Join the Flag March that takes place in the Old City every year and see the masses of Jews parading through the narrow alleys, where all the shops are closed out of fear. Isn’t this what happened to the Jews in the “dark periods”?

Continue on to the Jordan Valley and see how Bedouin shepherds are evicted by Jewish settlers, how Jewish vehicles speed into the Bedouin's flocks and soldiers from the Jewish army demolish their tents and tin shacks in the middle of the night. The soldiers leave men, women, children and babies exposed to the bitter cold of the winter nights and the scorching heat of the summer days.

If you see this with your own eyes, such a decent man as yourself, your yearning Jewish soul that so reveres the memories of the past would surely cringe.

If only I had the talent of spoken word artist Yossi Zabari, I would declare in his rhythmic Hebrew about this dark period of ours: “New in the frozen section you can find high-quality cannon fodder that was lovingly raised on Zionism and the sacredness of the land, with no artificial additives or love of the stranger and respect for the other and the sanctity of life.”

And I would ask and respond as he does: To compare or not to compare, that is not the question, that is the duty.” Yes, this is the most important lesson for us Jews in Israel more than 80 years later.

Salman

Learned German jurists

In Germany, tens of thousands of political opponents who were defeated in a democratic election were imprisoned in the concentration camps long before the Jews. The authorities shut down their organizations and publications – they could no longer object without risking their lives. Then the persecution of Jews was honed in an elaborate system of laws whose gradual construction was overseen by learned jurists and whose application was put in the hands of the courts. And the life of “Aryan” Germans went on as usual.

Every liberal and humanist (not necessarily “leftist”) Israeli must read a book – translated into English as “Defying Hitler” – by the journalist (and jurist) Sebastian Haffner, who left Germany in 1938, long before the extermination camps were built. The process he went through must be compared to what is happening in Israel now.

As Haffner put it, while he was experiencing the events, he couldn’t gauge their significance. He intensely felt the choking, nauseating character of it all but couldn’t grasp the constituent parts and put them together.

He wrote that despite his generation’s historical and cultural education, they were completely helpless to deal with something that didn’t feature in anything they had learned. How meaningless were their explanations, how infinitely foolish their attempts at justification, how hopelessly superficial the jerry-rigged constructions with which the intellect tried to cover up the feeling of dread and disgust.

Daily life also made it difficult to see the situation clearly. Life went on, though now it had become ghostly and unreal, and was mocked every day by the events going on in the background. The only place he felt sure of himself was at the courts, though for now the courts’ activities seemed to lack meaning.

He and his girlfriend kept on going to the cinema, had meals in a small wine bar, drank Chianti and went dancing. He still saw his friends and had discussions with acquaintances. Family birthdays were still celebrated as they had always been.

As he put it, it was this automatic continuation of ordinary life that hindered any strong reaction against the horror.

A destroyed Jewish-owned store in Magdeburg, Germany, after Kristallnacht, which took place on November 9-10, 1938. German Federal Archives / Wikimedia Commons

As Victor Klemperer saw it

The horrors at that time were the gradual denial of civil and human rights to the Jews living in Germany. A Romance languages professor, Victor Klemperer, documented this in his journals that provide an incomparable record; they were put in book form and translated into English as “I Will Bear Witness.” A former convert from Judaism and a German patriot who lived to see the Reich defeated, he too described society as the events were occurring, in disbelief that things went so far.

In 1936, he wrote that when he saw the mass of people happy and peaceful, he believed less than ever in any change in Germany’s political situation. In 1938 he noted how a gardener and a grocer he knew agreed completely: They said they had no idea what was happening, they didn’t read the newspapers.

Klemperer wrote that people were apathetic and indifferent. The grocer told him that it all seemed like cinema to him. People simply regarded it all as a theatrical sham.

Klemperer was astonished at the ease with which German society and German citizens accepted the collapse of democracy and the infringement of civil rights and liberties; they even considered this a price worth paying for Hitler’s foreign policy successes.

Later he observed, again with some amazement, how the Germans, including the seemingly decent ones, preferred to close their eyes to injustices done to him and all German Jews, based on the law, even if these Jews were friends, neighbors and acquaintances. In 1940, as still in 1942 and 1943, Klemperer mentioned the people who were horrified to learn of the restrictions imposed on him as a Jew. No, they didn’t know, they regretted to hear it.

These things must be compared to what his happening here, in Israel, where many people “regret” that their country denies civil and human rights to millions of people who live under its military rule, that it persecutes, humiliates and expels them, steals their property, imprisons them in enclaves and ghettos and is turning this reality into a permanent situation, not just a year or two but half a century already. Yes, they regret it, but they go on with their comfortable lives and do nothing about it.

It must be compared, not because no regimes are worse than Israel’s oppressive regime, but because these are exactly the things that were done to us in the dark periods of our history. They happened in a modern society in the heart of supposedly enlightened Europe, whose countries closed themselves off to Jews and where many collaborated with Nazi Germany.

This is our Jewish lesson. It’s not: Let the Israeli army win in the Palestinian cities and villages. It’s: Don’t let racism and fascism win in Israel.

Ilana Hammerman

Haaretz Contributor

0 notes

healthmarketedge-blog1 · 7 years

Text

Weight Loss Honesty Essay

NYMag.com Daily Intelligencer Vulture The Cut Science of Us Select All Grub Street The Strategist My Account My Profile My Comments My Reviews My Friends FOLLOW: Facebook Twitter Instagram Ad will collapse in seconds… Popular on The Cut Photo: Getty Images I was 13 years old when my dad brought home our first digital scale. It was Christmas, and at first it provoked the same excitement I felt whenever we got any sort of newfangled, vaguely techy object in those more analog days. I rarely weighed myself before that, usually only at annual doctor's visits, but this machinery was sleek and shiny, with the ability to tell weight to the absurdly precise tenth of a pound. It's not that I didn't already know that I was severely overweight. If the difficulty finding clothing that fit and the perpetual physical discomfort hadn't already clued me in, fellow middle schoolers' flip cruelty would've done it. But seeing the number on the scale was my come-to-Jesus — or, rather, come-to-Atkins — moment. I stopped housing restaurant-size dishes of fettuccine alfredo like I was a tween Caligula at a banquet, I reluctantly started exercising, and I convinced myself that flavored seltzer was a treat. (I was way ahead of the curve with that last one.) After A Year Within a year, I lost all the weight I wanted to, and have more or less maintained it since. It wasn't all that simple or straightforward, but both then and now, I rarely discussed the effort I put into what was a major, ultimately positive life change. For one thing, talking about your diet is inherently uninteresting. But I also held back out of a specific sense of shame that I couldn't necessarily articulate at the time. I was bookish, inquisitive, and defiant, and I prided myself on those qualities; even though I deeply wanted to lose weight, this desire felt vain and ignoble, an admission that I cared about how others saw me. I've been reminded of that feeling often since then, especially as the body-positivity movement has gained traction and weight has felt increasingly politicized. When Marisa Meltzer explored dieting as a feminist taboo for Elle back in 2013, she admitted, “the guilt I once felt about what I ate has been replaced by guilt over being the wrong kind of feminist — or maybe no kind of feminist: a woman pursuing something as pedestrian and frankly boring as losing weight.” She theorized that many self-identifying feminists who struggle with their weight may feign an attitude of indifference as a front. In the years since her essay was published, I suspect that's only become more common. My Weight Loss Isn't A Triumph Back in 2013, Meltzer pointed to Lena Dunham as the ultimate self-acceptance icon. Her body has been subject to relentless, often harsh, scrutiny since Girls first aired; most recently, the focus has been on her noticeable weight loss, due in part to working out with Tracy Anderson and eating a more plant-based diet. She's been vocal in objecting to positive press. A couple of weeks back, Dunham responded to a magazine that included a new photo of her next to the headline “20 Slimdown Diet Tips Stars Are Using.” In a widely circulated Instagram post, she attributed her smaller figure to everything from her long-running battles with endometriosis and anxiety to living in Trump's America and “realizing who ya real friends are.” She'd previously written, “my weight loss isn't a triumph … because my body belongs to ME — at every phase, in every iteration, and whatever I'm doing with it, I'm not handing in my feminist card to anyone.” Regardless of the whys and hows of Dunham's weight loss, I'm struck by the highly charged way the discussion progressed. Numerous publications (especially woman-centric ones) praised her reaction. But, I found myself wondering, what if she had just wanted to lose some weight for the sake of losing some weight? Should it really be all that controversial or shameful to want to control how you look, especially if you have a job that keeps you in the public eye? Must dropping a few pounds come with a disclaimer, or 20? If women used to avoid saying they were on a diet because it might not seem cool or fun, now we worry about the possibility of offending others or losing our “feminist card.” Fat acceptance was indeed born during the same era as second-wave feminism; today, body positivity and pop feminism exist as the significantly less radical, more widespread versions of their predecessors. As these ideals have deviated further from their origins, becoming more watered-down and commercialized, they've also become inextricably linked. A typical triumphant viral web-story plotline, especially for women's sites, involves a woman “clapping back” at “body shamers.” Body positivity is now a savvy branding move: Take ModCloth, which pledged not to use Photoshop and publicly lent their support to the 2016 Truth in Advertising Act, calling for federal regulation of airbrushing in ads. (The indie retailer sold to Walmart earlier this year.) And when Dove created soap bottles modeled on different female body shapes, it was hilariously misguided and widely panned — but it was also a natural extension of the infantilizing way businesses have attempted to profit off this mind-set. It's not like the industry devoted to shrinking us down has taken a blow: We can hardly go a few weeks without hearing about a new diet plan that features seemingly arbitrary restrictions (what, exactly, is wrong with mushrooms?) or an insanely punishing cleanse. But now, when it comes to actually discussing the deliberate changes we make to our bodies, we either wrap them in innuendo or scramble to deny them altogether, in an attempt to appear more enlightened. 10 Celebrities Who DGAF About Eating Healthy One cultural barometer is the way celebrities talk about their eating and exercise habits (and the media coverage they generate). Unsurprisingly, it's a long-standing tradition to ask people whose job it is to look conventionally attractive how they got that way and what they consume every day. But few ever admit to being on a diet — nobody wants to reveal how the sausage, or, more appropriately, the grilled chicken breast, is made. “Wellness” has also become a catch-all euphemism that allows one to admit to undertaking a transformation, but chalk it up to “health” instead of superficiality. Eva Mendes couched an answer about her routine by saying that she eats “clean” and, because she's busy, truly enjoys having the same thing for lunch and dinner every single day. Spoiler: It's salmon, quinoa, and salad. (“Eva Mendes's Simple Eating Regimen Is So Refreshing,” Refinery29 gushed, either in willful ignorance or a profound misunderstanding of what a diet is.) A Glamour listicle titled “10 Celebrities Who DGAF About Eating Healthy” celebrated stars like Gigi Hadid, Emma Stone, and Jennifer Lawrence for being “quick to admit eating burgers, pizza, or red velvet cupcakes is just part of life,” though something tells me that, based on the industry they're in, they must G at least a tiny bit of AF. At least Lawrence — whose meteoric rise to become America's sweetheart was certainly aided by red-carpet sound bites about loving McDonald's — finally admitted: “‘I don't feel like I have a normal body.' I do Pilates every day. I eat, but I work out a lot more than a normal person.” The current cultural discomfort around dieting has trickled down to how even I — someone with firsthand experience undertaking significant weight loss — react when confronted with it. When acquaintances said they were trying Whole30 for the new year or posted hashtagged meal shots to Instagram, I remember balking: My first reaction was to think that they didn't seem like the type of people to go on a diet, much less talk about dieting. (By contrast, the girls I knew in high school and college who now appear to be engaged in a Facebook weight-loss-shake pyramid scheme definitely do fit the mold I associate with “people who diet” — though are their motivations really all that different?) While visiting an old friend, I noticed that she had downloaded MyFitnessPal and felt an odd rush of embarrassment, like I had accidentally stumbled onto something I wasn't supposed to see. We could talk to each other about our sex lives without batting an eyelash, yet counting calories seemed like a step too far. I'm not saying we should necessarily be talking about our diets more — again, it's boring, and I'm generally a proponent of all of us dialing back our abundant over-sharing a bit. But what a relief it would be to shed the anxiety surrounding how we discuss them, to lose the doublespeak and welcome more honesty. Click to Post

#Diet #Weight Loss

0 notes

thunderbirdlovelove-blog · 7 years

Text

Rising Above & Letting Go of 3D Static

Humor me, will you? I’m a firm believer in ‘Anything is Possible.’ I look at the world a lot differently than a lot of people I know.

I have a theory I want to share. I’m fully aware that I’m sometimes right on, & sometimes way off. I’m still learning & will forever be a ‘Student of the Universe!’ This blog began as a Facebook comment, but as the words poured out of me, I realized I had way more to say on the subject.

Please note my intention – it is not to upset anyone, nor to say one way is right & the other wrong. There is no right way to spiritually evolve. We’re all on similar but distinct to the individual spiritual journeys. If anyone tells you there is only one way, they’re full of shit. All I know is what worked for me & I share my lessons & my life in the hopes it will help even just one other suffering soul. My intention is to offer you a different perspective – a ‘What if..’

Maybe I’ll help you release yourself from what weighs you down – specifically all the concern, frustration, anger & fighting, since the election, re the election. I feel that heavy load of low vibrating negativity in the Conscious Collective. And I’m calling it the ‘Circling the drain.’

I want you to be happy, to be free, to live in a constant state of joy.

It IS possible.

I feel so compelled to help others, I see SO MANY PEOPLE SUFFERING NEEDLESSLY ! It doesn’t have to be that way! People learn from their experiences, yes, but I’m convinced that after I went through all that crap & came out the other side shining, that I must be destined to help humanity. I’ve seen a better world. It is possible. And it is coming. How fast it gets here depends on each one of us. Yes, I’ve been called crazy, but I don’t mind.

‘They’ say there’s a fine line between genius & insanity – you can’t keep digging down the rabbit hole without losing a couple of marbles along the way!

Perhaps I’m just a little bit insane 😍 Yes, I’m still figuring it all out.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME AT THIS POINT IN MY JOURNEY, IS TO SUCCESSFULLY CONVEY HOW I GOT TO THIS PLACE OF TOTAL JOY, TOTAL FREEDOM, TOTAL BLISS IN MY LIFE.

I know what I know cuz of what I’ve seen, felt & experienced. I KNOW we’re not alone in the Universe. I KNOW the world is one big illusion. I can’t really prove it to you though. That’s not how it works. All I can do is tell you there is a door. You have to decide to see if it’s there & go through it. But I never underestimate the power of planting a seed.

Once you ‘get it’, the simplicity of it all is mind-blowing. But you don’t get it – til you get it. Trying to explain it winds up sounding like explaining Calculus in German to a 3-year-old from Uruguay. A more than slight exaggeration – I think you get my point 😊 You have to come to the realization of the life lessons through YOUR experiences. (Think of anything your parents told you when you were a teenager. “Don’t drive if you’ve been drinking.” I can almost hear the collective dismissive ‘Yeah, Yeah’s.’ Cuz it can’t happen to them. But when it does, that is the thing that will teach them the lesson – the Experience.) Even knowing this, the energy that roars inside me will never stop planting the seeds.

I’m confident in my abilities to motivate & inspire. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life – this is my purpose. This is my mission. One thing I don’t lack is passion. There is ALWAYS a positive side. It’s up to you to find it. Can’t find it? CREATE IT!! Reality doesn’t exist until you create it. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day you are making choices. A lot of people don’t realize this. And it kills me. The choice is yours in every moment, what can I do to make you realize the tremendous power you hold, IN EVERY MOMENT?!

This is the pic that made all of this pour out of me. He is upset at the ‘out-of-touch celebs’ wanting to overturn the election. And I couldn’t agree more.

My comment began as a ‘slight diss’ to those who were commenting. Rather than discuss the content/subject of his quote – it went right over their heads – they instead choose to dismiss him because he too is an actor. I scrolled down & scanned the many comments, hoping to find someone who agreed or disagreed with the quote & why. But all I saw were a bunch of people who obviously need to take a step back cuz they just don’t see the big picture.

“Chuck Woolery, an actor?! Next you’re gonna tell me Crocs are the nicest shoes ever? Chuck Woolery has a total 11 movie credits on IMDB since 1972. That’s 45 years. He has only 2 credits since 2000. And I’ve hardly heard of any. I haven’t heard his name in eons!! I have a distant memory of him hosting a game show back in the 70’s or 80’s. I would hardly call him a celebrity. On a celebrity scale from say Bobcat Goldthwait or PeeWee Herman to Will Smith or Brad Pitt, he wouldn’t qualify to be their gofer’s gofer in the superficial bubble of Hollywood’s Fantasyland. With that said, I think he’s totally on point – I think he made a very accurate assessment. Watching people get all upset over who the president is is exhausting. Not to mention a complete waste of time. Unless of course, you enjoy being a Pawn in their Game. Hey, it’s your life..”

(At first I thought Hillary Clinton would have been the lesser of the two evils – then I thought maybe he was. Then I realized I was having a 3D thought & realized it is completely & totally irrelevant. Just a face, just a puppet. Even if the persona we saw on TV was the real deal, Trump’s gonna be in for quite the shock when he realizes how little power he actually has.) I wouldn’t give a flying fuck if they elected SpongeBob Squarepants. Who they parade around is nothing more than a mascot. To distract you from questioning & realizing what is really going on.)

Let’s talk hypothetically. Let’s say Donald Trump is playing a part. A part in a crazy over-the-top drama slash action slash mystery slash thriller show. He plays an outrageous character – so outrageously wrong for the part – jaw-droppingly shocking, that it drives viewers crazy.

But that’s what ‘shows’ do – they try to shock, elicit a reaction. Cliffhangers, scandals, killing off main characters – whatever they can to get people talking. They do their best to cause so much hoopla for ratings. They lie, they fabricate, they PRETEND. They work in the Illusion Industry. We see it EVERY DAY. Wicked mind-blowing science fiction, alien invasions, UFO’s, violent car crashes with tons of carnage, missiles obliterating whole cities, machine gun frenzy killing sprees able to kill hundreds in no time, Zombie apocalypses, etc, etc etc. We’ve seen it all! There’s not much they can’t do with computers & technology these days. I seriously wouldn’t put anything past them.

YOU THINK IF IT WAS ALL PEACHES & CREAM ANYONE WOULD WATCH? NOPE!

Not a movie. Not a show. And not the election. People would find it boring, the ratings would go down the toilet, & the show gets cancelled. We call that a Lose-lose & that’s not how the corporate greed machine sustains itself.

So why is it, when these people SEEM to leave the ‘Hollywood Arena’ (trust me – some never do), that all of a sudden people believe everything these same people tell them, cuz it’s ‘on the news’ or, ‘Well, he’s in his real life, not on a tv show, so it must be real. It must be true.’

If you think the puppet holds anywhere close to the power of those invisible string pullers behind the scenes, you live in la la land. If you believe every speech, quote & appearance they make must be real if it isn’t in a movie or tv show, you live in la la land. He’s rich, he has a huge ego, and oh look out the cameras are rolling!! It’s not a stretch to think that maybe, maybe, he’s Exaggerating? Ever heard of shock value? It’s in the corporate greed handbook on the very first page: Keep them distracted with nonsense so we can rob them blind & fuck them over. If you still think the government is ‘for the people’, you live in la la land. THIS IS NOT TO PISS YOU OFF – IT’S TO WAKE YOU UP! IT’S TO RELEASE YOU FROM THE INVISIBLE PRISON YOU KEEP YOURSELF IN!

I don’t think I could possibly care any less about the puppet they choose to parade as the leader of the country. It just doesn’t matter.

IT’S FAR FROM A STRETCH TO IMAGINE THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE you might be being played. To say no, absolutely not – that would that mean you take what you see on tv & in the news as golden truths ?! Say it isn’t so! A lot of us, including me at the time, kept expecting Candid Camera to jump out of the bushes & say GOTCHA! cuz this couldn’t possibly be real life. It’s Bizarro world! The Twilight Zone! I remember hearing a few people close to me explain to me their take on why this was a good thing. I can remember being secretly outraged – I was shocked that people close to me thought like that – I even wondered, ‘Do I really know these people at all?’ I remember thinking, ‘I just may have to cut these people out of my life!’ It wasn’t til I realized how low energy those thoughts were, & completely subtracted myself from the situation, subject & any concern for the issue & took a big giant quiet step back. ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys.’ It’s just an illusion.

I saw the big picture. I remembered that it’s all just an illusion. Quantum Physics proves that reality doesn’t exist until we measure/observe/create it.

WHAT WOULD YOU ALL BE DOING WITH YOUR TIME & ENERGY IF YOU STOPPED FIGHTING EACH OTHER? The pro-Clinton people? The-pro Trump people? Has it ever occurred to you that THEY DO THIS ON PURPOSE?

HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU THEY HAVE YOU RIGHT WHERE THEY WANT YOU??

OBLIVIOUS PAWNS. Pawns, being played. I say this to wake you up, not piss you off. I feel that you can’t possibly see the big picture from so close to the project. Take a step back & start vibrating above the petty nonsense.

We the people MUST stop fighting each other. We the people need to realize who the real oppressors are. We the people need to stop giving our money to the big corporations, Big Pharma, and all the other corrupt systems in place. IF WE STOP FEEDING THEM THEY WILL STARVE. We need to put down our guns. Our judgments. Our hate.

Right now they have us right where they want us – busy fighting each other while they callously take all they can for them, without so much as a hint of conscience or principles, leaving less & less for us. All the while convincing us with their soulless ads with subliminal messages subconsciously convincing us to buy what they’re selling, what we really don’t need & we seriously can’t afford. But hey, keep it up – if you don’t mind being fooled. I don’t want people to be fooled anymore. I want humanity to be in a constant state of Peace, Love, Harmony & Unity ☮💖✨

It’s sickening when you see through the bullshit. And it’s also the most freeing & enlightening thing that has ever happened to me!

Lastly, I’m calling out these people – It has to be said that watching people TRAMPLE EACH OTHER TO DEATH on Black Friday for that flatscreen tv that some dude on your tv TOLD YOU TO BUY – has to be one of the most pathetic displays of humanness or lack thereof I have ever seen. Seriously, give your head a shake! Wake Up!

I am so grateful that I am AWAKE.

Do some research!! The info is right at your fingertips every single day. WAKE UP! Don’t you know who really runs things? You’ve heard of corporations, Big Pharma, Monsanto, Trillion dollar families like the Rothschilds & the Rockefellers & the Federal Reserve? Do you have any idea how the world really works?

Do you know what goes on behind the veil? DO YOU KNOW THERE IS A VEIL?

Food for thought! Buen provecho 😎

I know this won’t resonate with everyone. And that’s ok. I have a hard time hiding my impatience for the world to wake up. But for those it does resonate with, I hope it frees you from your self-imposed constraints – that will bring me such an incredible joy that I could not explain.

When I research, what resonates sticks & what doesn’t goes. If something gives you goosebumps, you’re on the right path. That’s a sign from the Universe my friend. My daily intake of info tries & fails to quench my insatiable thirst to know everything there is to know before I go. WHAT A RIDE 😎

Keep what resonates, leave the rest.

Oblivious Pawns Rising Above & Letting Go of 3D Static Humor me, will you? I'm a firm believer in 'Anything is Possible.' I look at the world a lot differently than a lot of people I know.

#Enlightenment #Harmony #Love #Peace #Unity

0 notes