#im determined to find

[queso-magnifico]

@onionjuggler told me about WIP Wednesdays so I'm gonna do that for my knitting and crocheting!

This is one of the most complicated patterns I've done and it's really fun. I've had to redo lots of things but I learned how to fix mistakes without tearing the whole row out! I have no idea if this is going to fit or not.

Oh, and I also got to break out the yarn ball winder I got as a present and it's a little annoying to use but it's SO NICE knitting from the yarn balls.

Pattern: Honeycomb Aran by Gayle Bunn

Yarn: Valley Yarns - Northampton

#knitting #im determined to find #knitblr #cables and cables and more cables #but i can do cables without a cable needle because I'm so cool

[highdefhoetry]

artist: caspiares

#love and deepspace #love & deepspace #rafayel x mc #zayne x mc #caleb x mc #xavier x mc #it is SO hard finding fanart where mc isnt white lol so im determined to collect all brown skinned mc fanart #if yall see any more pls send to me or link me!!! 🤎

[sad-leon]

just moved an i'm about to start school, so have some comfy, cuddly bois

@intotheelliwoods

#sad•leonart #2 arms left #2al #2 arms left fanart #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #rise leonardo #rise future leo #rise future leonardo #between school and work i dont know how much time i'll have to draw until i find a routine #but im determined to keep drawing these funky little turtles #that just means i wont be making an animatic in one week anymore lol #also ignore any weird porportions #i havent drawin in like.. two days and this was done in about 30 minutes

[binghe-malewife-goals]

I know a lot of people use these two images to show Viktor's character development into a (what we have yet to seen) antagonist, but I think it shows a more resolute—hardened Viktor.

In this shot, Viktor is stagnant. He looks lost, sad, even surprised. He only watches on as Jayce speaks for them, and Hextech, as a whole.

In this scene, he feels and looks utterly powerless.

But this Viktor?

He looks determined. Resolute and unrelenting. Shaped, now, by his own regrets. Instead of Jayce doing the talking, Viktor does.

This is a Viktor who looks like he's daring the council to fuck with him, frankly. A Viktor that is determined to set things right, to not lose their dream again, no matter what.

(And whether Jayce and Viktor succeed in this, we'll see)

#just realized that dogged determination may be the factor into his GLORIOUS EVOLUTION #if the arcane writers go that route #tbh i always find it funnt how people say viktor looks evil here bc im like? nah my man looks ready to verbally destroy someone #like i said hes literally daring you to fuck with him and find out and its great #another animation detail i found is that Viktor's eyes widen and have that little sparkle of hope/wonder when hes says “independence” #arcane viktor #arcane lol #tbh if im talking about jayce or viktor you can just assume #jayvik

[nerdie-faerie]

I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

#TVD #The Mikaelsons #Kol Mikaelson #Klaus Mikaelson #briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs #i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep #need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy #anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys #klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse #kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse #kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too #that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see #that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers #it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic #that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea #to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael #the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon #klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him #and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother #*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons #as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm

[emry-stars-art]

For the Royal AU Twinyard backstory... Maybe Andrew, as a second son, was sent away for study? He could have become an apprentice to a knight or a scholar when he was young, maybe even with the Spears, and that's where Bad Shit Happened. And then he could have returned when he became of age, or when their last parent dies and Aaron needs a familiar (ha!) face around

*excited* okay okay this has been brought up a few times now and every time I read it the idea grows on me more, you’re all so smart for it

(I was gonna put the art at the end but this got a lot longer and sadder than I anticipated so. Sometimes Andrew likes to do stuff like this when they’re stuck talking to important boring dignitaries)

(It’s the main reason Aaron develops an incredible poker face)

tws this time are all canon compliant

Honestly yeah! I do think this is great because I want the twins’ father to be around after birth and for a while, because the whole point of Andrew being sent elsewhere is probably so they can give that extra attention to Aaron and raise him as the heir to the throne. So it’s a perfect balance, in my mind, of a family that cares enough to get Andrew an education/proper upbringing and a father that doesn’t care enough to spend time on a second son.

In my head the Spears would be almost always overbearing, partly because Andrew is the prince and they Do Not want to disappoint the royal family and partly because Andrew is the prince and they immediately assume this little five year old they get on their doorstep is going to be a spoiled brat. Even though he isn’t. And, as you may guess, the only thing they turn a blind eye to is Drake. Drake, their own son, probably the real spoiled brat that gets his way in all things, even with the young prince. Faces no consequences, even when Andrew tries to tell someone. It’s probably his governess or nanny at first (either way, it’s not really important what the role is, just that she’s there). And this woman has been Andrew’s biggest advocate since he arrived, she genuinely cares about and is worried for the little prince with his bruises and fear. She cares enough to bring this up to Duke Spear - maybe he really is dumb enough to just be unaware, she hopes - and confront him about Andrew’s treatment. But of course the duke doesn’t do anything to discipline his son. Instead, the governess is fired and a new woman takes her place, a woman that isn’t as outspoken and won’t ever question the authority of the Spear family. Andrew learns soon enough that trying to tell someone or speak out only makes things worse for himself. Sometimes he still wonders where that first governess is, if she’s doing well.

Meanwhile at the castle, Aaron is going through his own rigorous training. A lot of the same stuff as Andrew is learning, honestly, with a few added duties and lessons and a lot more official meetings he attends with King Minyard. It’s a pretty average upbringing for an heir, I think.

Then maybe when Aaron is around the age of ten or so, King Minyard passes. This wouldn’t normally be a political issue, since it’s expected of the Queen to take over and divide the king’s half of the duties as she sees fit until either she remarries or has an heir become old enough to take the throne, at which time she may pass it to the child or continue to reign until she either passes or is deemed unfit. And, politically, this is exactly what happens. What most don’t see is how grief stricken she becomes and then remains. She can’t pull herself from her grieving, and instead of passing duties to more fitting people, Queen Tilda simply lets young Prince Aaron take on as many duties as he can without breaking down. (Though he has, before. Likely a few times. A kid being pushed past his limit again and again.) Aaron grows up so much faster than he ever should have. He’s thirteen now and sometimes he shakes with stress.

Then the queen finally gives into her grief and passes as well. If it weren’t for Katelyn, Abigail, and Betsy, Aaron might have been next to lose his mind, leaving the throne empty. As things are, Aaron swallows everything down just long enough have word sent to the Spear family. He wants his brother back. A familiar face and his quiet, desperate hope: someone to just help.

And return him they do. Andrew’s been perfectly competent with all his studies, they say, they’d even managed to break that stubborn streak. (They didn’t like he wouldn’t speak or shake hands when instructed. They didn’t like being told no.) And yes, it’s a familiar face. Aaron sees the carriage door open, sees his twin for the first time in eight years, but he isn’t sure he recognizes Andrew. Andrew isn’t supposed to have bags under his eyes like this. Andrew didn’t hold his jaw so tightly. And Andrew certainly didn’t answer questions like some kind of unthinking, unfeeling shell.

The first thing Andrew says to Aaron getting off that carriage is “No.” It’s quiet, but he does say it. Aaron is confused - he’d thought they’d still be allowed to hug each other, or shake hands at least - but he does step back and instead ask if Andrew wants to see his room. He can see Andrew relax.

It might hurt Aaron a little when he watches the Spear boy get a hug with no protest, or how Andrew quietly addresses the duke with more than a one word sentence. But he’s not going to ask about it for a while. He’s the stranger to Andrew here, after all.

(I think Andrew does let him ask. The most he tells Aaron about it - maybe as much as a year later - is that the younger Spear had been much worse at listening than Aaron ever is. It is much better here. At least you and Nicky understand the meaning of ‘no’. Leave it at that. And after that Aaron is even more supportive of Andrew’s wide bubble than he was before. He enforces it himself when he has to. And growing up together for longer, with no looming secrets or much reason for animosity between them - it isn’t Aaron’s fault King Minyard decided to hand Andrew off and the twins are both mature enough even at that age to know it - means the twins are much closer than in canon. I don’t think it would be a typically ‘fond’ relationship, because they’ve both still been through it. But they support each other in all things, no questions asked, and always get through problems together.

It doesn’t take much longer than that first year for Aaron to earn the right to touch Andrew, even if he does need to give or show warning before he does. Andrew never says it, but he’s grateful that Aaron is generous with his shoulder pats. It feels a little like the validation he never got anywhere else. And Aaron never says it, but he’s grateful that Andrew is always at his side to tell people ‘no’ when Aaron is technically not allowed to.)

#oh god I’m having EVEN MORE emotions about twinyards #I thought I’d reached a limit #but no my feelings seem to be limitless #these are our BOYS #do they talk to each other much without reason? #probably not #but they find reason enough making fun of various merchants and self righteous officers and nobles #do they make fun of each other like long siblings? #of COURSE #im determined to make the next post at least half fluffy/funny #been posting a lot of angst lately #and there’s plenty of fluff and comedy around here #I just. I care about them a lot okay #they make me emo #aftg #all for the game #my writing #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #asks #royal au #fan art #my art

[qhostcaptain]

found some more yonderland promo videos so ill be uploading those for a couple days <3 (you can find these on youtube if anyone’s curious)

#yonderland #yonderland elders #im determined to find all of the promo videos #they are my favourites!!!!!!!! #what on earth was pressleys trumpet. #pressleys little wave at the end <3 #my little fellas #absolute cuties

[hilsonisthecure]

when the leads and the executive producers both ship hilson >

#you’re welcome now im determined to find this interview where katie says it #house md #hilson #gregory house #james wilson #hugh laurie

[musubiki]

mochi and lime post-confession (gently) arguing about who wears the pants in the relationship but its because both of them thinks its the other person

#lime: youre literally the cat witch and you think its me? i mean im happy to but-- #mochi: but...youre the one that handles commission jobs and picks up bread from the store? #lime: is picking up groceries the determining factor? you also go grocery shopping sometimes #theyre so used to doing things together theyre both confused #the ideal relationship #finding another adult human being who makes decisions with you instead of for you

[wasabikitcat]

I had this realization a few days ago when reviewing what we know about Gaster while theorizing about the mysterious Valentine from the newsletter and idk if other people have pointed this out yet, but I haven't seen anyone else talk about it:

I don't think Gaster's disappearance has anything to do with Core.

The Core is only mentioned in relation to Gaster once, in this dialogue from one of the Gaster followers:

This dialogue is why most theories and fanon built around the idea that Gaster fell into the Core, which for reasons unknown to us erased him from existence. But I'm now pretty convinced that this is a red herring, because it doesn't actually say Gaster fell into the Core. It says he made the Core, and that he fell into his creation.

It does not say that this creation is the Core.

The dialogue is written in a way that leads you to assume the creation he fell into was the Core, but that doesn't really make much sense considering the rest of the dialogue.

The dialogue says "they say he created the Core," which implies this is second hand knowledge, but then says with certainty "One day, he fell into his creation." Why do they know for sure he fell into "his creation," but only knows he created the core from what others say?

If you talk to the follower again, they say "Will Alphys end up the same way?" Why would Alphys also fall into the Core? As far as we know, Alphys doesn't maintain the Core; if I remember correctly, a few monsters at Mettaton's hotel are stated to work in the Core, so wouldn't this follower be more concerned that those monsters will end up like Gaster and not Alphys?

And another question that I think fanon has just ignored due to the assumption it was something we don't yet know about, but I am now wondering about: Why would falling into the Core erase Gaster from time? When traveling through Hotland and viewing the Core in the distance, Alphys says this:

And while this dialogue may at first seem indicative that the Core is more mysterious than a normal geothermal power generator (and it is in some ways), remember: Alphys didn't build the Core. Alphys doesn't understand how the Core works, not because it has some unnatural property that could erase people from space time, but because she didn't build it. Not only does this mean that the Core is likely just a power generator that utilizes the lava in Hotland to produce geothermal energy and convert it to electricity, it also means that Alphys doesn't work on the Core, because she doesn't know how it works. So why would the Gaster follower worry about Alphys ending up like Gaster if she doesn't have any involvement with the Core?

Additionally, that Gaster follower is the only one to mention the Core in relation to Gaster. In fact, one of the other followers says something that could be interpreted as actively contradicting his erasure being caused by the Core:

This follower says "his experiments went wrong," and doesn't mention the Core. Why would Gaster be experimenting with the Core? And if he was, we don't know anything about it.

But you know what experiments we do know Gaster was working on, because it's literally one of the only pieces of dialogue we have from him?

And do you know what other creation was presumably made by Gaster, as Alphys is unfamiliar with it's operation? That is also a creation that was actively being used in experiments, which Alphys is continuing to perform herself? Experiments that are directly involved with something we already know can alter time and space? A creation that is located in one of the most mysterious areas in the game with several oddities in it that are straight up never explained, multiple fourth wall breaking moments, and a couple explicit references to things we believe are associated with Gaster? A creation that suspiciously resembles in appearance the form of a character who canonically can alter time and space, not to mention resembling the thing that's literally called a GASTER BLASTER???

#ignore the crusty spriters resource gaster blaster. google images is useless when it comes to finding actual gameplay screenshots. #anyways I may be completely out of the loop and everyone already knew this. but also the whole Core thing was basically accepted fanon #back in the day. and i only just realized it probably is a misinterpretation like less than a week ago #im not sure the determination extractor is the creation he fell into. but i think the creation he fell into is related to the extractor #also when looking up stuff for this i came upon the information that the tree man may be referenced in the true lab #when you enter the room filled with fog and try to inspect things it mentions a tree and a man. #not to mention the true lab being the debut of everyman of course. #and whatever the FUCK is up with the memory heads. who have a suspicious connection to phones btw. #actually Gaster has an incredibly suspicious connection to phones. like the spamton thing obviously but his presence seems to fuck up phone #the memory heads. the garbage noise in the dark world. hell GRANDPA SEMI is even directly related to phones. #considering one of the only two places he is mentioned is in a list of characters to have phone call events in the code of the demo. #also the art book mentions that the phone itself was originally a character. which kinda ties into the unused video game content theme. #this doesn't have much to do with this post im just rambling now. #anyways tl;dr i am now a 'gaster did not fall into the core' truther #undertale #deltarune #ut/dr #ut/dr theory

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

sometimes i like to imagine a future where i write that (y/a or adult targeted) dragon book series i desperately want to, but i know that i wouldn't be able to do it without including art in the book. every time a new important character is introduced the next page would have to be a reference / art of them to Show What They Look Like

#i dont think id be able to handle like. publishing or whatever Without that #maybe that stems from my control issues maybe im just an artist at heart #but i would also need there to be a glossary and a detailed map and maybe footnotes or a basic bestiary- #but then sometimes i wonder if i'd want it to be like... a comic instead #manga style in a way??? i wouldnt color it. it'd be in b&w with only the occasional colored spread or somethin #but all of that If Possible or plausible is a very long way off which is okay its okay #ill get there ill get there #unless something changes and i want to do something Else but its been a goal for many years already #its only recently that ive buckled down on the worldbuilding and character crafting and genuinely considering the plot and themes #its a hot mess! but theres something in there! im determined to find it #its definitely a couple years yet of changing things and switchin stuff around and Thinking.... #who knows if ill ever get there! i hope i will! #but yeah it'd be a book with a bunch of art shoved in it httyd style (kinda) #bc if im gonna Make something im gonna combine my favorite hobbies as best i can #absolutely unprompted #its an exciting but daunting prospect. writing an actual Thing #mostly the plot part of it #i can craft characters i can do worldbuilding #but the plot? oof #there's this other one ive been working on since 8th grade #and its still... barely anything lmao #its for my favorite personal characters - my very first real oc my special boy light of my life but Man. #plot has hands!!! #and then ofc there's my beloved idiot squad... i want to do something for them some day maybe.... #so many ambitions so little energy... i will strive to make future me healthy enough to achieve Something we so desperately want!

[snickerdoodlles]

regarding posting extra fic content that is not fic, but being worried about notifications... i have no idea how user subscriptions for pseuds work on AO3, but would it be a viable option to post those extra things under a pseud and then you can make it a related work to the fic in question?

it doesn't work! :( anyone who's subscribed to my main 'snickerdoodlles' username will get notifications for everything i post on AO3 that isn't anonymous because the pseuds still tie back to it. which is actually really convenient for me in every other case, but ajkfdjh.

right now i'm mostly considering building up a queue of tumblr posts that i'd want to copy over to AO3, then making a specific story post that's in my anon collection as i move stuff over. i can link all the story stuff together in the fics themselves, then take them out of the anon collection after i've finished uploading everything so that it's just one email notification at the end. my only hesitation rn is that moving a bunch of stuff over sounds very boring and i'm procrastinating it lol, but that's the only method i can think of atm that won't drive me completely nuts? i also don't really want anyone getting AO3 notifications from me to become associated with "not fic" either oof, i will cry if that happens 😂

#its mostly random extras i have for gone fishing series that i want to include too orz #like the long fic headcanon posts and some random snippets that are in the universe but not going to be full fics #i have the usernames and outtakes story already but i dont want to keep disappointing people with update emails that arent story updates #but im also eyeing various snippets because i'd like them to be easier to read/find but i dont want to clog up my ao3 with too many shorts #and im not sure how a bunch of notifications for them will go down >.< #on one hand i am DETERMINED not to fret over AO3 notifications because!! people who subscribed subscribed for a reason!! #logic says they want the notifications!! #but while im crawling towards being in a better brain space anxiety says i am So Annoying and need to cut down on how much i bother people #and there's a part of me that feels squiggly posting stuff that was always meant to be little snippets and vignettes instead of full storie #hjgjhgfjhfgjhfg

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?

(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)

Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c

#I was having a conversation with a friend about our favorite type of media and they said the reason they DON'T like historical or fantasy #media or etc. is because they can't imagine themselves being in those situations like it's too detached from anything that they can relate #to personally. they put themselves in the shoes of the characters and apparently like feel emotions while watching stuff and actually #get into the way the characters are feeling so they kind of judge how 'good' or 'bad' a show's writing/setting/etc. are by how it makes #them feel and if they think the characters reacted realistically based on what they were feeling in the moment/what in their head they #would be feeling if they were in the postion of the character. SO apparently the distance of it being in an unrelatable setting or too #detached from our reality makes it harder for them to relate to and less able to really engage with it on that level. WHEREAS I watch #things exclusively in a very like.. detached way?? I'm INTERESTED.. it's like im intellectually analyzing everyhting that's happening and #can be intrigued by events but it's not in an emotional way? More of like a distant 'intellectual curiosity'. Maybe the premise or the #aesthetics or something about it has piqued an interest for me to observe it. to see what it's like or how it plays out. how the idea #is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character #or having those sorts of feelings or investment in it. That is just not a central part of why/how I watch things or what I care about #BUT after this I was thinking maybe this is my disconnect? I do not seem to conceptualize media the way some other people do and I often #walk away with an entirely different take on things. etc. So I wonder if maybe it's part of how everyone values different things probably? #maybe I literally just watch stuff and percieve it from a different frame of mind that others. More of a like detached curiosity #vaguely bemused analysis mode. Instead of a 'I am deeply emotionally invested in this and am feeling for all the characters' mode #And also I bet people who care more about plot/story are also the people who mind spoilers. Whereas for me I literally seek out spoilers #intentionally because that element of 'suprise ooh what will happen next!' is not central at all to my enjoyment. I could know literally #everything that will happen and still can find it interesting to observe - since for me #that's not the point. I'd rather know the ending so I can determine whether I want to invest the time in it in the first place. etc. #ANYWAY!! If I had to choose - I would say I'm usually heavily focused on world details and aesthetics. With only a slight preference #towards characters individually being interesting. Group dynamics can sometimes be okay but I get tired of everything being about relations #hips and romance - especially when sometimes it seems to be like. people who could not stand on their own as a character/are fundamentally #boring otherwise lol. I would watch a series of just one guy locked in a closet talking to himself as long as he was interesting and saying #things that were amusing or notable for some reason lol. I actually tend to dislike plot because most 'plot heavy' things like action focus #ed shows ALWAYS feel to me like they're moving so fast just to get from one thing to another that I'm not getting enough details. Part of #why I tend to not like movies. the time limit makes them too quick. I need a 95 hour expostion dump of the history of the entire world #and a series of 17 episodes straight where a guy is trapped in a room & the audience is just psychoanalyzing him. hghj.. Maybe I find all #characters annoying/unrelatable bc people w my personality type make bad characters/are not often represented (or are done BADLY). so then #I'm just picking 'who is the LEAST insufferable? who could i study like a lab rat?' whilst my main focus is the worldbuilding&costumes lol

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

since the main information has been put in its respective spot, I introduce you all to Dev :D

theyre blorbo coded

#i. letter duo #thinking about letter duo #if im determined yall might get some worbs about this fucker soon- #a tag to help find my own posts

[yanderespamton78]

you guys im gonna throw myself out of a window </3

#yes this is about the ice cream blog thing #RAUUGH thing with me is im really shit at puzzles but really persistent so i will scroll through tumblr looking at tags on 4 diff askblogs #until i find that blog. #you are talking to the person who did a 10 hour portal 2 marathon and who spent like 2 hours on some of the puzzles #that honestly shouldve taken 20 minutes. #you underestimate my determination when it comes to things i like

[ferretwhomst]

[rocking back and forth in a corner] it's alright that your writing isn't structured as well as you would've liked, it's alright that it feels shaky and unnatural, it's okay that there's plot holes, what matters is that you keep going, get that idea down on paper, and you can go back and expand on it later. yes even if it's bad yes even if it's messy. and even then if it doesn't feel quite right it's still worthy of respect and love and appreciation because you wrote that with your own two hands and the words came from your own mind. perfection is nothing, improvement is everything, there is no such thing as a perfect piece of writing.

#in case anyone is wondering how i'm doing with my fic #UGHGH i keep rereading the parts ive written so far and i'm starting to get annoyed with the first chapter especially #like i feel like more experienced writers than me will find my fic and be like. Wow. This sucks! #its Such a ridiculous fear im sure nobody is gonna think that but STILL #especially for this thing which i'm determined to put so much effort into. like what if i do all that #and then it still turns out to be like. unremarkable #god. GOD. it's FINE writing a fic which is slightly messy will NOT be the death of me #dear lord i hope someday my perfectionism is easier to shut up because it Will Not fuck off right now #theres also smth to be said here about how school messed me up but i cant put my finger on it #feel free to reblog btwwww #i know some of my mutuals are fellow writers and tbh itd be comforting to know that im not alone SDJKKJDVS #although if you do relate im also. patting you on the back bc its a terrible feeling #ferret rambles