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m00nt4r0t · 1 year

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✮ your star qualities! ✮

pile one, two, three, four, five, or six?

these are short messages, so feel free to pick more than one pile if you wish!

patreon ⭑ masterlist ⭑ personal readings

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile one!

song on shuffle: “freakyt” by tiacorine

you’re very compassionate and you don’t play ego games with people, pile one. you’re very naturally beautiful, and you don’t care much about drama or competition. you’re also very forgiving, not only to yourself but also those who have crossed you. you don’t like to hold hate in your heart. you naturally shine like a star and you grab a lot of peoples attention just by existing. you have a lot of faith and trust in the divine, which is why you don’t bother with getting revenge because you know that the divine has your back. you could have a dark aesthetic, or you tend to attract people who are a bit darker than most people (physically and/or energetically.) you’re very well protected and your guides refuse to let you fall from grace.

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile two!

song on shuffle: “lover is a day” by cuco

you’re someone who is very complex, and yet, you don’t allow the differences within you to confuse you. at times, yes, you may have a tough time making decisions on where to go or how to react, but you make it seem easy to those who are on the outside looking in. you’re very balanced and well-tempered, pile two. you don’t let people get to you emotionally and you always come out on top. people have a hard time making you mad or making you insecure. you could make music or you have a really good music taste. also, people love your dimples if you have them. people who tend who have low self esteem are very attracted to your light because you naturally make people feel good, and im seeing that people could think about you for years after parting ways from you.

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile three!

song on shuffle: “i wanna be yours” by arctic monkeys

you have no limitations, pile three. you have the entirety of the universe within your soul and you’re starting to realize this, aren’t you? it may seem too good to be true, which may cause you to doubt yourself at times, but it’s true. you’re a go getter and you always get what you want, even if it takes longer than you expected, or comes in a different form than you originally thought. you quite literally have the ability to go wherever you pease, much like a bird. your mind is wired differently than others and you’re able to see and understand things that most people cannot. there’s some emphasis on your nose being part of your star quality, as well. you attract powerful relationships and connections into your life.

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile four!

song on shuffle: “putrid pride” by $uicideboy$

you’re very striking and magnetic, pile four. people are so attracted and pulled to you and they don’t fully understand why. yes, you’re attractive, but a lot of people are attractive - so why do people become so addicted to you? well, because you’re not like anyone else. you evoke emotions and feelings within people that have never been evoked before by anyone else. people become obsessed with you, pile four. your sacral chakra is very magnetic, and your eyes lure people in and it seems so innocent at first, but then they realize there’s no way out. you have a way with words and you’re very sweet and sensual, which makes people overlook the depth within you. people love to watch you, pile four. you’re very entertaining.

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile five!

song on shuffle: "the beach" by the neighbourhood

you are fearless, pile five. you have the ability to let go of anything and everything that does not serve you, and in the end, you're good on your own. it may not be something you prefer, but you would rather by by yourself than be surrounded with people who are going to hold you back from your highest potential. you've gone through a lot of tough situations alone and most people aren't able to do this, but it seems that you prefer it that way anyway - you probably don't like being vulnerable in front of others. you read people like a book and you can always feel it when someone is lying or keeping something hidden. you're very mystical and magical; you have the ability to influence people with your words and your creations. a lot of people don't understand you and even if they try to, they may give up because you're out of their reach.

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile six!

song on shuffle: "self care" by mac miller

well, pile six... you naturally shine. everything about you screams "star quality" and everyone around you knows it. you're extremely powerful, attractive, brave, and talented. if anyone doubted you before, they're eating their words now. you naturally shine, even in a room full of light, your light is the brightest. people are so naturally gravitated towards you; your appearance as well as your energy is very eye-catching. how could anyone not notice you? however, you're a very reserved person and you may not like to go out much. you have a connection with mother nature and you like to spend time expanding your mind and gaining knowledge. you're a very divine being, pile six, and you're here to spread your light to others, so try not to keep yourself tucked away too much.

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹

thank you for reading & interacting! <3

patreon ⭑ masterlist ⭑ personal readings

#m00nt4r0t #tarot #tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a card #pac reading #pac #tarot readings #your star qualities!

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ludinusdaleth · 3 months

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while people have many mixed thoughts about the off-kilter dynamics of the bells hells, i think it provides a very fascinating dichotomy.

from the beginning, ludinus has sowed mistrust in exandria. he grooms the dwendal line to despise every other country and seek isolationism above all else. he attempted to ensure chaos in jrusar so that it would be too difficult for them to react quickly to the bloody bridge. he banks on vasselheim refusing to take the aid or advice of the grim verity to take out both - the verity one by one, and vasselheim in a massive sweep at the key. but he also is known far and wide as a master negotiator. he helps negotiate the peace between wynandir & xhorhas (after war that he sparked - by working with the xhorhasian wizard essek). he keeps the peace between assembly members - hell, the fact he even managed to recreate the cerberus assembly, and created tentative peace between the empire & mages, is a feat in itself. he knows when to put his pride away and accept help. his very first spoken line is loudly agreeing with beau, a cobalt soul member, over the rest of his war council, and he (almost) humbly asks yudala for the cobalt souls aid, and before the nein ask a thing of him personally he ensures the cobalt soul cannot find yasha as guilty for obann's crimes - and absolutely, those actions are connected. he does everything to ensure he wins but he does it with grace, to the point he - avid god despiser who seeks to kill them all - sees fjords wildmother amulet.... points it out cheekily, and never reports it.

the bells, bless their hearts, they try, but they have barely any trust in them. they were already people utterly traumatized by betrayal before yu betrayed them, before fcg was revealed to be wired as a killer, before everything. they have tried to patch things and can communicate at this point but it is obvious even now they lack two very fundamental things - the internalization of the fact that ludinus is counting on discord to win, and most importantly, the ability to wholly agree on a set plan to a set goal. ludinus races with liliana to predathos with the understanding that he, liliana, & otohan are a team that must work as effectively as possible for a goal they collectively believe in. the bells have that loosely - stop ludinus. but the very road to getting there is rocky beyond belief. imogen is pressured by orym to dig into predathos's psyche just as she realizes she's scared of it, just as orym is losing himself to the soldier psyche, and laudna stares him down as she argues. they believe the end goal of their trust is to simply tell the others they're about to do something dangerous when hardly any of them can process they dont have to be cannon fodder. i am aware of the fact we dont have full vanguard context here, but often i think of otohan jeering at zathuda, an archfey, as she wholeheartedly sides with ludinus over him when the elf isnt even there, contrasted with orym pulling fearne aside to ask her to kill imogen if they need to.

ludinus has seen the rise & fall of so much. im sure he witnessed the selfishness of wizards like the somnovem or perhaps the original cerberus assembly. he took it as a lesson, and that is why he is at the top of the world while vess & trent & thousands of others faltered. the bells cannot often take their trauma and turn it into a healthy understanding. they are literal children in age compared to ludinus but many have a kind of arrested development as well due to their trauma, and it becomes more cruelly obvious the longer their quest continues. the difference between ludinus & the bells functionality is so staggering it is one of the most fascinating parts of c3 to me.

#long post #critical role #critical role meta #cr spoilers #van speaks #ludinus da'leth

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stretchjournalemerson · 5 years

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Technology and Social Media as Modes of Conversation for Underrepresented Communities: An In-depth Look at the Importance of YouTube within the LGBTQ+ Community

By Kathleen Grillo -

“On September 23, 2018, ironically Bisexual Visibility Day, I sat with my suitemate on her bed while another suitemate of ours stood against the closed door. Then, I told them I was, and to clarify still am, bisexual. The rest of the night I came out to four other suitemates.”

On September 23, 2018, ironically Bisexual Visibility Day, I sat with my suitemate on her bed while another suitemate of ours stood against the closed door. Then, I told them I was, and to clarify still am, bisexual. The rest of the night I came out to four other suitemates. The previous night at midnight, I had come out to my best friend over text, too afraid to tell her over facetime. Over the course of the next few weeks, I would go on to tell those closest to me. Today, I am still telling people. People think you come out once. I thought you came out once. You tell one person and then expect the rest of the world to just know, but I, and many others, are wrong. I will continue to tell people I am bisexual for years. Maybe the rest of my life. There will always be someone else to tell. Coming out is different for everyone. For some, they really do come out once. For others such as myself, they know they will come out many times throughout their life.

I first thought I was bi when I was twelve years old, but quickly dispelled the thought when my mom told me it was normal to think girls were pretty. Little did she know I’d imagined kissing them. The thought was gone though, and I continued with life. That is, until November of junior year when my best friend came out to me. She’d known her whole life, and she had been wanting to tell me since freshman year when we met. That day on the bus ride home, and on the bus ride home for the next week, I questioned myself again. No, I thought, I am not gay. Time passed. I was straight, but I was supportive. I always had been.

Then, I went to college, a place of discovery, where you meet new people and try new things. Maybe, like me, you live in a new city. As cliche as it is to say, college really does teach you things about yourself. For me, that meant re-evaluating my sexuality. Once again, I returned to that questioning. This time, though, I got a different answer. No longer did straight feel right, but bisexual was starting to. Looking back, there were clues scattered throughout my adolescence, ones I didn’t see until questioning. In those weeks of inner reflection, when I was too afraid to talk to anyone I knew, I turned to YouTube. I listened to queer music and watched the respective music videos. I watched coming out videos, listened to people’s stories. How did they know? When did they come out? How did they come out? Am I apart of this community?

...

Dr. Sherry Turkle, a Harvard graduate, is known for her work as a psychologist and sociologist. Moreso, she is known for her discussion on the topic of social media and technology. In 1996, she wrote a book about the up and coming technology which led her to be displayed proudly on the front of Wired magazine. More recently, Turkle spoke for TED.com, a popular website containing speeches on ranging topics and featuring a wide selection of speakers. Turkle was there to speak about technology once again. This time, she was further discussing her research on the modern generation and their addiction to technology, to social media. Texts. Tweets. Notifications. She claims, “I think we're setting ourselves up for trouble -- trouble certainly in how we relate to each other, but also trouble in how we relate to ourselves and our capacity for self-reflection.” She explains that social media is changing how we think, that technology is literally changing our psyche. And Turkle is not wrong; we are ever adapting to the world around us. We learn to split our attention span, to send that text while still listening to our friends. We learn to finish an assignment while also writing notes from a professor’s lecture. Turkle is valid in her argument that, “People want to be with each other, but also elsewhere -- connected to all the different places they want to be.” We do split ourselves across many forms of communication, but Turkle’s argument falters in its ignorance of all sides of social media and technology.

Most people I know would say social media doesn’t inhibit their ability to connect with those around them. In many ways, technology and social media builds connections and enables conversation. Friends text or facetime when they are away at college. Parents call to check in. Classmates work on projects. It is a different type of conversation, but a conversation nonetheless. Even more, Turkle’s argument comes from a place of privilege. In her essay “Always-On/Always-on-You: the Tethered Self”, she says, “Tethered selves come together, but do not speak to each other”, meaning that, because we are connected, or tethered, to our devices, we cannot converse properly with those around us. This assumes that all conversations we want to be apart of are being hosted in real life. But what if that isn’t the case? What if those you identify with aren’t in your real life sphere?

One such community in which this occurs is the LGBTQ+ community. Many individuals who belong to this community, who in this essay will be referred to as queer individuals, turn to the safety and availability of social media. A large platform where this occurs is YouTube, as explicitly explored here. There are many YouTubers, those who create and post videos to YouTube, that are known for their queer content across all ranges, from coming out advice to queer music to queer education. All such YouTubers are real and non-scripted as they are in TV or movies. Because of this need for belonging within the LGBTQ+ community it is clear that “The quick spread of the videos is testament to how many people search for coming out advice, unable to access it through their immediate environment or most media outlets” (Bateman). This quote comes from Jessica Bateman, a writer for Broadly, a subsection of Vice that focuses on unrepresented individuals. In the article, Bateman focuses specifically on the importance of coming out videos, one of the most popular kinds of queer videos on YouTube. Not only do these videos answer questions that many queer individuals are too afraid or unable to ask, but they also provide validation in the form of the video’s creator and in the continued conversation found in the comments section of such videos.

One such Youtuber, whose coming out video has reached over 8.3 million since it was posted on August 7, 2013, is Troye Sivan. His video is one of the most well known in the LGBTQ+ community. Sivan is one of the original “gay YouTubers,” who was openly gay and made videos discussing such topics. In this video, Troye begins by saying, “This is the most nervous I’ve probably ever been in my entire life, but I’m going to deal with it because I have something to tell you guys.” Even Sivan, who had a strong level of support on his channel, was nervous. This point can be extremely validating to individuals who haven’t come out or are trying, and struggling, to do so. This is one example of many as to how these videos can be paramount in the LGBTQ+ community. They provide support and as Bateman says, “Coming out to your parents is never easy, but more and more LGBTQ young people are sharing their experiences on YouTube to ‘show our identities are valid.’" Since his coming out video, Sivan has proved to be influential, continuing his YouTube channel years after the video’s debut. Recently, Sivan is more known for becoming a queer icon as a musical artist.

As mentioned, an important component of these videos is the comments sections. On Sivan’s video, there is a mix of old comments posted when the video was first released and he was little more than a YouTuber, and new comments, posted now with the knowledge of Sivan as an artist and role model. These comments show the personal influence and conversation created outside of the YouTuber that many queer individuals will spend hours scrolling through to find the many other people they identify with. Such comments include, “I am a 60 year old gay man. This was the video I watched the first time I saw you about a year ago. I think you are great. I can't wait to see the movie "Boy Erased". I think your music is beautiful. I have listened to a lot of it. I think you are an inspiration to a lot of people. You may not realize it, but people like you even help older people like me” (Randy D). These videos do not just appeal to a younger generation, but also to anyone who wishes to find validation or education.

They also become a place for people to share their own stories. Most importantly for some, they are safe, anonymous places to do such. This is a crucial component of the online conversation being composed, especially considering the high amounts of mental health problems and suicide among LGBTQ+ individuals. According to the Trevor Project, a national organization that aims to help LGBTQ+ youth through crisis and suicide scenarios, “LGB youth are almost five times as likely to have attempted suicide compared to heterosexual youth” and “...40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt.” Another comment by user Kristine Jauregui, says,“Im bisexual...but until now im inside the closet waiting for someone to open it. Im scared to come out because I knew already that they're not going to accept me. And lately my mom told me that i need to find my prince but in my mind my prince is a princess.” (Jauregui). The responding comments are full of love and encouragement. The anonymity of social media, although isolating at times, can open people up to talk about things they can’t in real life, or when similar identifying individuals aren’t available in their real life.

Outside of the initial need for coming out and finding validation, is the want for education. Whether a part of the LGBTQ+ community or not, YouTube has become a place for education. Specific queers can find tutorials on packing and binding, practices taken up by many trans individuals, as well as learn the difference between some sexualities and genders and learn more about queer sexual health. One person who has done such is Ash Hardell, a non-binary, trans-masculine, bisexual YouTuber. Not only do they make regular YouTube videos, but they are also the writer of a book called The ABC's of LGBT+. Although, to clarify, the book is published under the name Ashley Mardell, the name they used before getting married and before changing their first name to a more nonbinary one. Hardell explains that the purpose of the book is “to be a detailed guide of many LGBTQIA+ identities and terms with an emphasis on those that are mis- and underrepresented.” The book uses multiple sources, from images to video links to interviews, to explain and educate the many different areas of this community. Hardell perfectly explains why their book is important by saying, “in an attempt to combat erasure and increase general LGBTQIA+ knowledge, this book hopes to offer visibility and a voice to identities that are usually lost and forgotten.”

It is important to Hardell, both in their videos and their book, that proper education is offered to all within this community. Their YouTube channel heavily reflects the ideas presented in the book. They have countless videos targeted for gender education, trans education, and sexuality understanding. There are also many videos that display collaborations with other YouTubers that produce LGBTQ+ content. This opens the conversation to more than just one voice. With something as unique as sexuality and gender, it is extremely helpful for this community to know all of its resources, or at least as many as it can. Outside of queer identifying individuals, these channels that provide education are extremely important for cishets, a term used to mean a cisgendered, heterosexual individual. There are many topics and ideas that become difficult for one to understand unless they themselves have experienced it. YouTubers such as Hardell begin to help “outsiders” understand. Without YouTube and social media, it becomes increasingly more difficult for education to spread. The LGBTQ+ community is just one of many that use these sites to spread their message and gain understanding in such a diverse world.

We all know that it is easier to share or like a tweet or Facebook post, to watch a five minute YouTube video than to read a book or find someone willing to discuss such private matters. When these things are absent, people turn to social media and technology. Yes, as Turkle claims, “Connection is more like a symptom than a cure. It expresses, but it doesn't solve, an underlying problem.” That problem being the fear of loneliness. She argues that we connect when we are alone, but Turkle assumes that the same conversations are being hosted in person as well as online. While this is arguably valid, there are times in which we need to be alone without connecting, there are also times when we need to connect so that we can be alone without feeling lonely. In the LGBTQ+ community, it is very easy to feel lonely, especially if a queer individual has no similar identifying individuals near them. In that absence, social media and YouTube has become a place of validity, representation, and education. People receive answers to questions they are too afraid to ask, see themselves in the stories of others, and find courage in the bravery of role models. Coming out, something that is ongoing for many LGBTQ+ individuals, can be extremely isolating, but YouTubers and the very real people commenting on these videos are a safe haven for many queer youths, and adults. Yes, the kid on their phone while at dinner may be scrolling through Instagram or texting their friends who they’ll see tomorrow anyway, but they might also be scrolling through the comments of their favorite music video by Hayley Kiyoko as they debate telling their parents about their sexuality or their gender or both right then and there. Despite Turkle making a very reasonable claim, she ignores the communities where real-life exchange is not available. And in those circumstances, simple online connection can mean more than any person to person conversation.

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank Mary Kovaleski for really pushing us to reach for a conversation we wanted be a part of, no matter how difficult it seemed. I would also like to thank my peers Matthew Pifko who provided useful research and Audrey Iocca who gave me extensive critique. I’d like to thank all the YouTubers who have given the LGBTQ+ community a place to express themselves and have dedicated themselves to improving the community. This work also wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my family and friends who’ve given me love and encouragement. Lastly, I’d like to thank myself for having the bravery to share a story I’ve never told.

Works Cited

Bateman, Jessica. “How YouTube Videos Changed the Way Young People Come Out.” Broadly,

VICE, 3 Apr. 2017, broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/8x4gkp/how-youtube-videos-changed-the-way-young-people-come-out

“Facts About Suicide – The Trevor Project.” The Trevor Project,

www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/.

HeyThere005. “Ash Hardell.” YouTube, YouTube, www.youtube.com/user/HeyThere005.

Jauregui, Kristine. “Coming Out.” Comments section, YouTube, Apr. 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvzWNwJ41_k .

Mardell, Ashley. The ABC's of LGBT+. Mango Media Inc., 2016.

Person. “Power. Life. Culture. Lore.” Broadly, VICE, broadly.vice.com/en_us.

D, Randy. “Coming Out.” Comments Section, YouTube, 7 Aug. 2013,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoL-MnXvK80.

“Saving Young LGBTQ Lives.” The Trevor Project, www.thetrevorproject.org/.

Sherry Turkle, ‘Always-on/Always-on-you:The Tethered Self.” In Handbook of Communication

Studies, James E. Katz (ed.). Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, 2018.

Sivan, Troye. “Coming Out.” YouTube, YouTube, 7 Aug. 2013,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoL-MnXvK80.

Turkle, Sherry. “Transcript of ‘Connected, but Alone?".” TED,

www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together/transcript?language=en#t-294147

#culture #social media #youtube #lgbtq #research #kathleen grillo #stretch2019

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