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potassium-pilot · 9 months

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FFXIVWrite Day 4: Off The Hook

It was a warm and sunny summer day in the Eastern Highlands. A young Elezen boy with silver hair pulled back into a ponytail sat on a boulder by a creek in a forest with a fishing rod in hand. He couldn't remember how long he sat there for, but he could at least tell the sun shifted in its position. Where it was sunny before, now there was shade, making it more difficult for him to spot fish. He considered moving position, but why should he? He finished his chores for the day, did he not? What's the rush?

"ESTINIEN?!"

The boy turned his head at the loud screech of his name, recognizing who screeched it immediately. Along scurried his little brother of just under seven summers, sporting the same silver hair and gray tunic as him- his hair was just shorter and his tunic was just smaller.

Estinien raised a finger to his lips and made a loud, "SHHHHHH!" before harshly whispering, "Shut up! You'll scare off the fish!"

"Oh." Hamignant shuffled his feet. "Sorry", he whispered back.

"What do you want?"

"Mama said I should find you."

"What for?"

"She told me that I need to do something with you."

"What? Why?"

"She said I need fresh air."

Estinien sighed agitatedly. "Well, don't scream any more."

"Fine." Hamignant used his tinier hands and feet to climb the boulder and sit next to his big brother. The younger brother stared into the water. "Isn't it harder to see fish here?"

"I mean...a little, but that's why I need to concentrate."

"What's that mean? Con-sa-tray?"

"No, it's con-cen-trate. It means I need to pay attention, and I can't do that if you keep talking."

"Oh." Hamignant stayed quiet and watched his big brother as he focused solely on his fishing exploits. It took all of fifteen seconds for the younger sibling to ask, "How many fish are there?"

"Wh-- how should I know that?"

"You're big brother. You know everything."

"Well, I don't know that, Hamignant." Hamignant went back to watching the water. "Can we do something else?"

"You're the one who came to me, and I'm fishing. If you want to do something else, go do it somewhere else."

"You're mean", Hamignant curled his knees to his chest and hugged them while pouting. Estinien went right back to the water, ignoring his brother's futile efforts at garnering sympathy. For a few minutes, he was quiet, much to Estinien's relief, but just as he started falling into complacency, Hamignant decided now was the time to become a songwriter. Softly, he sang, "Fish, Dish, Wish, Smish, Pish, Kish, Lish" much like a song for the Eorzean alphabet they learned at one point.

Estinien started growling to himself, ready to cast aside fishing to scare off Hamignant. Thankfully, a pull against his line made him stop his preparations. With one tug, Estinien gasped.

"What?" Hamignant stopped singing to ask.

"Shh", Estinien shushed as he kept his eye. There was one more pull at his line, but nothing sank yet. "What's going on, Estinien?" Just as he asked that question, his hook sank. Estinien excitedly reeled in his first catch of the day. "Finally!"

"Whoa! You caught one, Estinien! You caught one!" The boy pulled his triumph towards him and unhooked it. "Wow, it's small!" Hamignant pointed out.

"Yeah, it is", Estinien agreed nonchalantly. "It's just a guppy. I'm not looking to catch fish to eat" With that, Estinien threw it back into the waters. "Well, now what?"

"I'm not sure. Wanna skip rocks at the lake?" Estinien suggested.

"Sure!"

Estinien and Hamignant climbed off the rock together and made their way south, following the direction of the water flow in the creek. "What happens when we leave this spot, Estinien?"

"It stays there. It'll be there tomorrow."

"Can we come back and see it again?"

"Sure. After I finish chores tomorrow, I'm coming right back."

"What if you have to watch the sheep again tomorrow?"

"Even better. I'll come back the day after."

Hamignant looked around the forest. "Could you catch squid here?"

"Squid? I've never seen a squid here. I think they're in the ocean, aren't they?"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh! I heard that it's got a bunch of slimy legs and people eat them!"

"No they don't! Stop being gross!"

Hamignant laughed and argued, "Yes they do! I heard it from Rosimperic who heard it from a fisherman from Gridania!"

"Rosimperic's messing with you!"

After that, the youngest picked up his pace into a sprint. "Race you to the lake!" Estinien put on a smirk and accepted the challenge, entering into his own sprint and chasing after Hamignant, the two boys running to enjoy a summer afternoon.

------

It was a summer afternoon, not that anyone could tell by looks alone. Never mind what eternal winter did, and never mind what Nidhogg did. Eastern Coerthas formed into a land beyond recognition thanks to Dalamud landing. Even with the destruction that ravaged this land, perhaps even in spite of it, a boulder yet stood. It had cracks, it had plenty chipped off of it, but that boulder would not bow to anything, no matter how apocalyptic.

Ice and sleet cracked under the footsteps of the former Azure Dragoon as he stepped towards this boulder. Upon reaching it, he laid down his lance against the rock and sat down on it. Fury, he remembered this boulder being much bigger.

Even if Bahamut hadn't come, Nidhogg razed this land and left the creek that once flowed through here untenable for any life. He could never fish here again. Still, he stared down at what was once a frequently visited fishing spot, thinking about the guppies he would catch and release, thinking about teaching Hamignant how to fish here when he grew too old for this stream, thinking about how Hamignant ran towards him to join him, thinking about how he and Hamignant would hold their childish contests and play their games.

Thinking about Hamignant.

Thinking about how Hamignant deserved to be here with him.

Thinking of how he could have taken Hamignant with him on his new journey.

Thinking of how Alphinaud wept at his bedside, and how for a singular moment, he could have sworn they were the sobs of Hamignant.

The specters of childhood yet remained even in this blighted land, but who was he to judge? It was as ravaged by Nidhogg's rancor as he was.

He gripped against the rock, moving his fingers about to find it. The mark that made this his rock. Soon, he felt it. Engraved along the side of it, he felt their initials along his fingertips. The calamity couldn't strip this boulder of his effect. Nidhogg couldn't strip it. This was their rock.

"You like that, Hamignant? We did that", Estinien spoke aloud.

Perhaps there was something in the wind, but he felt just the slightest bit chillier. "Don't worry. I've no intention of sticking around here. I simply wish to see it one more time." And so he did. As he looked, his index finger circled around Hamignant's initials.

There was a tightness in Estinien's chest. "You were made an object of my vengeance. You, mother, father...you deserved better. Your memories should not have been sullied so. Please, forgive me."

He stared into the endless winter, unforgiving and unrelenting. "This is a rock. I'm talking to a rock." He sniffled slightly. "...I think I needed to talk to a rock."

Against the white blanket of snow, there was yet a piece of green that stood in defiance. As he focused on it, he recognized it as a baby pine. Even in the fecund soils of Eastern Coerthas, perhaps even in spite of them, it dared to grow anew. "Heh." Estinien stood up and knelt before the sprout. "Well...if you're intent on growing, then so am I." He grabbed hold of his lance and replaced it on his back, then he turned away from the boulder, and began his journey anew.

"This will still be here tomorrow, after all."

#ffxiv #ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2023 #estinien varlineau #hamignant varlineau #fanfiction #im not crying you're crying shut up #also boo for getting rid of the eastern highlands #i wanna see ferndale #or what remains of it but still #i love when i make myself sad making up things about existing characters #makes me feel so fuckin good

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bowser14456 · 10 months

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Awww 😭❤️

#personal shit #my adventures with superman spoilers #im not crying you're crying SHUT UP

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iaxsl · 6 months

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like you're telling me that dragon actually does care about luffy and would watch him whenever he passed by????? and the reason why he left luffy is so that he doesn't get caught up in his fights or be used as a weakness against dragon?????? LUFFY GREW UP WITHOUT A FATHER BECAUSE DRAGON DIDN'T WANT TO PUT HIS ONLY SON IN DANGER????

#shut up bc i just made myself cry right now #like i had no feelings for dragon before this i just thought he was a deadbeat dad like all the others #BUT YOU'RE TELLING ME HE DID IT ON PURPOSE TO PROTECT LUFFY???#im probably reading into this too much #im feeling too much today after this last chapter #one piece spoilers #one piece 1101 #op spoilers #monkey d luffy #monkey d dragon #luffy #dragon #oda when i catch you oda i swear #one piece

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r0ttingsystem · 2 months

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I'm the best ever n I deserve all the love in the world n in the universe n I'm gonna be okay

#🚸.txt #im so okay #“why.... why is it crying???” JUDAH SHUT UP YOU'RE SO MEAN

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shinozaki-ayumi · 10 months

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"Eh? Information on the new Corpse Party? Please wait just a bit longer..."

#WHEN WE GET NEWS IM GOING TO BE INCAPABLE OF SHUTTING THE FUCK UP JSYK #corpse party #i cannot believe its 2023 and we're on the verge of new corpse party content... what a time to be alive #you know you're starved for content when this basic ass tweet makes you almost scream #if this game is good i will cry real tears

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vse-kar-vem · 2 months

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how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔#if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it)#i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable!#fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom)#i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me !#sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭#vee rambles

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girlwithfish · 2 months

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idkkk like if that's how u wanna raise ur kids to be afraid of u and always worried about how they'll be scrutinized or yelled at and theyll will never view u as a safe figure to be comfortable around do ur Thang but u just pushed me away 4ever tbh

#Like tbh im sick of it!#its not even that bad now bc im an adult but little things set me off #bc it just reminds me of when i was more powerless as a kid and like the way #my mom raised us is like through anger and scrutiny and passive aggression and aggression Imo #idk maybe my siblings wjll disagree #even tho my sister agrees that our mom can be mean but shes like she just doesnt know she is so u have to tell her #Like idk maybe i dont want to have to always tell someone that they r treating me badly its exhausting. and i #have never felt comfortable or safe enough to speak on how my mother.makes me feel to her everrr #Like as a kid if u showed emotion it was used against you. if you cry youre a manipulator or you're weak if you argue u havw to shut up and #just take the berating or yelling #And im just sick of it #Like now its just quips or comments but not getting yelled at but its like cold passive aggressive stuff or just like mean shit #like she cld have been mad at me abt smth without pulling in this other stuff abt me to attack me thats not relevant. Idk #congrats this isnthe dynamic you created

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snixx · 2 months

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MADE A PROMISE THAT I'M GONNA MARRY YOU IF WE'RE BOTH SINGLE BY LIKE 32 AND THAT SHIT IS GONNA END UP BEING TRUE CAUSE I HATE LIKE EVERYONE EXCEPT FOR YOU

#shut up im not crying you're crying #conan gray

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widevibratobitch · 2 months

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.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

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meatcatt · 1 year

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My favorite game will always be pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky. The day that it gets dethroned as my favorite game is the day I cease to exist.

#meat talks #literally peak fiction #please for the love of god nintendo remake this game #i know people dont want a remake because the original game's graphics are already so beautiful #but i am willing to take a hit on the graphics if 1) they get rid of the awful jank of the gameplay from the original #and 2) if it gets ported to switch because then my friends have no excuse not to play this masterpiece of a game #guys i hope you're fully aware if this game ever gets a remake i will start crying and i wont shut up till you play it #i will buy the fucking game for you #it will be the best day of my fucking life #im so passionate about this stupid game made for babies

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theraphaelexperience · 2 years

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Currently thinking of Jon's look for the 10 year anniversary don't mind me

#the jon spg #jonathan sprague #steam powered giraffe #steampunk #I CANT WHY IS HE SO PRETTY 💀💀💀#Im not inlove you're inlove #im not crying youre crying #im not crying shut up #DONT ACT LIKE HES NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN EVER COME ON NOW 💀💀💀#THE FEATHER BRACELET <3333 #THE FEATHERS?!#AHHHHH #THE WIRES AROUND HIS NECK ABHHSHDHDBD

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theskyexists · 11 months

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remember rewatching the part in strikers a couple years ago in which nanoha goes to save vivio, her adopted daughter, who is a girl of FIVE forced to become a magical super weapon no longer in control of her body and nanoha has to beam her so incredibly powerfully that nanoha becomes permanently disabled to a small degree and nanoha KNEW of that risk (could easily have been worse) and i was literally CRYING even with completely forgotten context because SOMEHOW this is just this series’ specialty where the most emotional moment is when Nanoha pulls it ALL OUT to stop somebody and in doing so saving them andhere it is extra powerful because vivio is calling out for nanoha to save her and nanoha can only do that by hurting her

SHES FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA