#im sad but i'll get over it

[bigxrig]

.

#it's always weird to go from mutuals to friends to purgatory to offering an olive branch and then finding out they unfollowed you #and still having to interact via other forms because i have to be the bigger person #why cant i be passive aggresive for once #why can't i be petty #its better than being sad #cause i am #even after being upset and frustrated i was willing to work things out #but i couldn't even get a message saying they didn't want that #so fuck me i guess hahahaha #it's fine #im fine #im sad but i'll get over it #off to eat and write some fan fiction i guess

[worstloki]

people just ignore Thor was a feral child, huh? like his life goal was probably to demolish another race at age 12 and he was probably begging to go to war and attempted to murder their father for not letting him via telepathy that he didn't have.

#people are like ''loki stabbed thor at age 8'' like im sorry but thor is older and im pretty sure he would've given loki the knife #Frigga was probably like ohhh you can wage war when your brother is old enough to go with you. can't let you two go alone! #and Thor naturally was like ''ok. i will Arm the Child'' #like for SURE Thor was the kid eating dirt while Loki just sat next to him looking very confused about it #Thor: Father said we are Part of Asgard and need to Eat To Grow and then one day will be Big Enough to Fight ! #he tries to feed Loki the dirt so he'll grow up quicker too but Loki starts crying and now Thor's forgotten about it and trying to calm him #Thor like no no don't cry i'll find us something else to get big with :( #carries him away and gets dirt all over them both because his hands were still dirty #fast forward the bros are sitting on the ground under a table monching on lemon cakes (or whatever) absolutely COVERED in dirt #they have left a dirt trail behind them so their hiding spot won't be effective for long #and also Thor doesn't think voices should get across what is clearly a sturdy table cloth so he's not sure how they were 'discovered' #Frigga: you cannot get dirty and go in the kitchens #Thor: LOKI WAS SAD. AND WE NEED SUSTAINENCE TO GROW MOTHER. WE MUST FEED. #Frigga: -_-'' #(Loki is still munching on a lemon tart. the same one despite the room change because he's eating it slowly while Thor reasons with Frigga) #(half of the words anyone is saying go over his head but he is enjoying the expressions being made)

[todayisafridaynight]

no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo

#snap chats #is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds #ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much #i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day #not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀 #excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT #this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE #got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up #AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu #and then immediately made up for it a minute later #sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up #i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided #thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ... #him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet #im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo #im gonna be sick i love him so much #if i redraw this later shut up. i love him... #this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt #its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do .... #and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!

[soulmvtes]

had a lovely day w my friend today + then tomorrow i'm going to run some errands and go see a new exhibition at the art gallery + then friday i'm going tufting w my sister and i'm going to make a strawberry rug which is so exciting + then next week i'm planning on spending time w myself doing things i haven't done in a while :')))

#diary #i'll be okay !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) #summer feels like its over but its usually a tough time for me so i don't feel too sad abt that #im looking forward to getting back to my life again :) #tiyas thoughts

[dhmis-autism]

have spent all week talking about duck in excruciating detail and this is an accurate summation of how i feel

#i just. i have so much to say abt him always. #hes so nuts hes so nuts hes so nuts #HE REALLY IS THE SILLIEST SADDEST DUCK #OUGHHH OUGHH OUGHH I JUST. I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT AND DOUBLING OVER CRYING #last night as i was going to bed legit. i was remembering that 'and I'll never get lonely' was a REAL FUCKING LINE HE HAS IN HIS SOLO SONG #AND I CLUTCHED MY CHEST IN PAIN #got so sad i immidiately knocked out #anyways i could write a 3 hour essay on him easily #LIKE. SORRY! im just so right about him always i know him so well i know everything about him actually

[simptasia]

look at me, listen to me, trust me:

as somebody who is currently living through the worst trauma and depression of my life, i gotta tell you:

you cannot live on coffee

coffee cannot be your replacement for sleep or nutrients. it will become less effective over time and mess up your endocrine system (the system responsible for hormone and sleep regulation). your stress and anxiety will increase and you may put your heart and kidneys at risk. you also might shit yourself sometimes

this may all seem very obvious but its possible to be in the mindset where Living On Coffee makes sense to you

what i'm saying is coming from a place of experience. and love. you cannot live on energy replacements. no matter how tasty

eat veggies. drink water. sleep. you can do other things, you can indulge, i promise! just please, do basic self care too

#same applies to colas and energy drinks. except those are worse for you #colas are worse for your teeth and energy drinks are worse for your heart #in fact you might get a heart attack #yeah a few years ago i cut back on coffee because i was getting heart pain #but in the last five months i developed a dependence on pepsi and coke and coffee for energy #and in the last couple weeks the coffee thing got worse #and i reached a point where i wasnt even getting energy or even happiness from it anymore #plus my heart was hurting #so im taking a stand. im taking better care of my health. in general #fruits! veggies! showering more! water! #etc and so forth. and no more coffee until i can be trusted to be responsible with it #if it sounds like im describing drug addiction. then yeah #this behaved like text book drug addiction. even down to being induced by trauma #and me thinking about my next ''fix''' the second i was done with one. no good #except! coffee is waaaay easier to give up. i have painkillers for the headaches. i'll be fine #i've also been eating like shit too. because sad. but i bought healthier and easy to prepare foods #because the human body cannot live on maccas alone. it just can't. i've been having a Bad Time #everything will get a little better over time

[frecklystars]

i know nobody is online rn to read this but ;-; i gotta get it off my chest i love ken so much he means everything to me he's making me so happy and i've needed him so so so bad. he's brought me comfort when my ptsd has been so fucking unbearable and every time i'm having a crying fit over losing my tf f/os or every time i'm having a flashback i ALWAYS immediately IMMEDIATELY think about him rushing to my side, holding me and saying "hey hey it's okay, i'm here, i'm right here" and it's such a relief because i haven't been able to genuinely wholeheartedly believe any character would be willing to do that for me the entire time i've been struggling this year.

i've never gone so long without comfort from f/os, much less being triggered by the ones who used to comfort me the most. so to have barbie and ken right now is like the biggest wave of relief every single day when i wake up and the hyperfixation is still there. sometimes i will literally close my eyes and sigh in relief when i hear a song and my first thought is sebastian or ken or six or... whomever. i love being in love again. i NEED this. i love waking up and my first thought isn't my trauma most of the time now, it's ken. or it's six. or it's barbie. or it's harley. or it's officer k. or it's... yeah you get it. i needed these characters so fucking badly. every time i see a gifset and get excited over it, i feel a rush of gratitude bc self shipping has always been the glue holding me together. it doesn't feel as intense or strong as the SB musical or TF used to make me feel but i am not picky. not at all. i will take anything and i'm praying this lasts for at LEAST another few weeks please

i may not be at a sense of peace right now and i dont know when i ever will be, it could be years, but im so. so. so. so so so thankful to have these characters right now when i've needed someone so badly for so long. i hope ken knows how much i love him ;-; i hope barbie knows how much she has helped me, has saved me from one of my major triggers and has helped me to love and feel safe around the color pink again. i wish they could see me when i'm not so broken but i'm glad they're here even when i'm at my worst, i'm glad they still love me even when they deserve to see me in a much better light

#it feels so fucking terrible not celebrating my bday with my starlight. i used to buy myself cakes and put his figurine next to them #i mean i still have... a little bit over one week... i cant... let it pass by without him being involved somehow #so i might make a quick vent doodle and queue it for the actual day of my bday #i refuse to not draw myself with him at least once for my special day #its not like we 'broke up' or anything but fuck it feels so bad #he's a literal fucking ptsd trigger. how fucking insane is that #im still in shock. im still in shock over what happened to me like i cant fucking believe it #wearing his necklace makes me cry so i just leave it on my dresser #that shouldnt be normal!!!! #but im hoping that shipping with barbie/ken is going to help me feel like i can reclaim control over my ships #bc my abuser made me feel like... i had no control over my TF ships whatsoever for a solid year #so now that i'm finally free of that toxicity i'm still shakily trying to learn how to ship again #i'll have moments where i'll worry ken will try to hurt me on purpose bc im so used to my abuser telling me how abusive any f/o would be #but then i tell myself 'hey what the fuck. this is MY story. NOBODY would abuse me i dont care WHO they are' #but it's so hard to unlearn several months of abuse 😔 #and even harder to look at a character who i invested so much time and energy and money into #my voice clips. my cameos. all of my steve blum autographs. my art for steve. all of it feels sad and numbing #not just stsc but everyone in any TF universe feels like... a threat and i get panic attacks when i see very specific characters sometimes #its awful. it hurts so bad. i love ken so much. but nothing compares to what i had with my TF comfort characters #but it's okay bc... ken is holding my hand and he might not understand ptsd at all but he can still squeeze me tight #and six HAS c-ptsd he GETS it. and he's there to hold me when my nightmares make me fall apart. he's my rock #vent #ptsd #sorry it's 5am i had a bad nightmare and now i refuse to sleep again #i fucking hate ptsd i fucking hate living like this i rly wish i knew how to cure myself #im exercising im eating and drinking often im sleeping as much as i can #theres only so much i can do #when does it get better?? when the fuck does it get better? im serious. not rhetorical. when does this finally heal #i dont even know if im healing or if im just distracted... but fuck ill take anything

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

#i hate being in pain like this #bc it completely takes over my life. like im incapable of thinking of anything else #im incapable of relaxing or enjoying anything. i cant do important things. cant do anything else but sit still nd be in pain #it just renders me completely useless and makes me stop functioning properly #im just a hopeless mess made of anxiety nd sadness. idk why but i just hyperfixate on it and i cant 'let go' or relax or not think abt it #idk how other ppl do it.... i wish i wasnt like this bc it's awful. it's like the only thing that exist nd ever will exist is this pain 4evr #im dramatic i know but ​it genuinely feels like my entire life is over and i'll ever know is pain nd nothing will ever get better again #im so caught up in it i cant see anything else but my pain. i cant think of the future bc do i have one?? i dont know #im just not feeling good at all. and everything feels bleak and depressing and i dont want it :(( #i cant have any fun or nice moments at all and im just tired of life #i feel so fkn stressed abt all the things i need to do nd all my responsibilities and idk how i'll do them when im in this pain #i just hope it can calm down soon i just want it to be a little bit easier just a little bit #getting thru each day now is so fkn hard i barely sleep but when i do i wish i never wake up #i hate everything and it feels like my future is fucked #which makes me wanna die!! but it also makes me sad bc there is actually sm i want to live for #i dont want it all to be ruined bc i want to try to live!!!! :( #and yess im know im being dramatic but i cant help it. im weak nd im terrible at dealing w pain nd issues #im not a strong person who can withstand everything nd finds ways to live either way. maybe it's bc my will to live isnt that strong #idk. i just hate this i want it to be over. it's taking over my life nd idk how to still function like this

[diwns]

ik for a fact the moment i bought the ps5 that it'd be my dead sims era

#sorry guys im not chronically online 24/7 anymore i dissapoint #i was sad mimimi in my nest then just spam exo christmas songs for weeks until i felt somewhat normal again #im doing better 😁😁 and not touching sims 😁😁 #irrelevant though: i got mentioned on simblr appreciation day not one but 5 times? found out a bit too late but thats like.. crazy #thank you for having me in your thoughts <3 #i'll reply to the posts eventually i just need to get over the replying as a chore thing 😭😭 #on a serious note i don't think my posts are THAT good to leave an impression they're.. generic #most of the high-performed posts are pure algorithm luck and the stuff i enjoy posting only a few do care about #but eeeeeeeeeeeh whatever right #anyway its 4am i couldn't sleep hence why this post was made #happy holiday and merry chrismas to those who celebrate it 🫶 #dippi.txt

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

im so grateful for all you of btw

#camera talks #<3333 #im so so exhausted with everything right now but yall still somehow make me smile and laugh tbh #i love you all <3 #you're all so cool and amazing and wonderful and im giving you all hugs <3 #(oh and. off topic/slightly upsetting but if anyone has tips for getting over a friendship. i am open to suggestions. #this has been really rough. they've basically ripped open the wound of losing a friend like 3 times already so this has not been pleasant #so anyways. nice tips would be cool. i think i'll be okay eventually but this was rough) #okay blehhh. done with the sad stuffff #i should play video games now actually

[jamesunderwater]

the yellowjackets s2e6 ending -- i was already so triggered just hearing the baby cry because he was starving and just shauna's desperation to feed him, i had to mute parts of it. then when she became conscious again...i... i just wish more people watching that scene understood how real it is. how it happens to birthing people all the time even today, not just in a freezing cabin in the middle of the woods, and how shauna's reaction was.....it was just.....it was very much what happens. she does still hear him crying. idk, i'm just sitting here still crying over it, and i can't stop. because people experience this loss and their brains have to make sense of it and it comes up with something that is as much real to them as the loss is, but no one around them understands, everyone wants to just shove the truth at them because they think it will be better. let her talk about him crying. let her talk about how it felt to feed him, to hold him. tell her you believe her. fuck, i'm just so fucking sad.

#for context one of my focuses in school is reproductive mental health and i work for a counseling center that focuses on it and #im planning to do doula work one day and so i was just watching this in physical pain wanting shauna to have someone there to help her #with the birth and the nursing. and then she woke up. and i just. #idk i dont think i'll ever get over that scene #im so fucking sad #yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #tw pregnancy #cw pregnancy #cw child death #tw child death

[woozi]

i'm so fucking sad i won't be around to gif dino's solo as it comes out 😔

#icb i'm forced to be a Real Girl on The Most Special Fucking Day In The World (to me at least) 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #fuck #just being real but i didn't really like last order and i thought that was gonna be the direction he's taking w the solo but- #-i'm so glad he came out with this sound i'm 519337729403865515171x more excited #IM SOOO SAD abt not being able to gif it though 😭😭😭 not just bc of giffing itself but like #as SILLY as it may sound!!! that's the only way i can show him (and the boys) my support since i dont really buy merch and just go to cons 😭 #anyway <33 #[cassie in front of mirror.gif] i'll get over it!! 😀 #y.txt

[filthyjanuary]

feeling sad :(

#sorry this is such a dumb thing to be sad about im a grown ass adult but like two thirds of the people i invited to my birthday #either cant come or said they would then bailed and like #some of them have legit reasons but some of them i'm kind of like :/ ok well i put in so much effort for yall would be really nice #if a crumb of that was reciprocated #idk i dont ask for much on my birthday i just want to have a nice dinner with my friends #and i have friends who like throw the biggest tantrum fusses about their birthdays and make it this entire spectacle #and people still humour them so it's kind of like #idk #do i really suck that bad that you cant make a saturday evening work to like eat good food #idk maybe next year i just wont plan anything #and everyone'll be like BUT SIMA IT'S THE BIG ONE and i'll be like well! i wish it werent! #bc it'll suck even more to have people not come lmao i dont actually think i've ever had a milestone birthday people just dont give a shit #this includes my parents idk like they are nice to me on my birthday but like no birthday was ever like hashtag special #and like the holidays already sucked so bad this year they did not feel like the holidays half the people i got presents for #didnt get me anything which is like fine i dont give presents to get them back but it kind of sucks to not even get a card? a thank you??? #idk this is so stupid i am turning 29 i pay taxes this should not be a big deal #maybe it's bc i feel like half my 20s were pandemic years so it kind of sucks that theyre basically over and idk im just feeling sad and ol #and lonely and just kind of shitty and unlikeable #AND IT'S DUMBBBBB TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST IDK WHY I'M CRYING FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE

[stupid-dyke]

stayed up til 3 when I have an 8am again. I do this because I hate myself so sos sososososososososo much. It's really funny because I don;t fall asleep in class thanks to my meds but I've noticed every time I go to class after 4 hrs sleep people act weird around me which is how I know im acting really weird. And I am so extremely angry at myself. I spent 4 hours. well 8 hours. Well all day. Pretending I'm going to do homework and distracting myself with various other things on my laptop or crying on the phone to my parents. Got zerooooo work done at all i stayed up most of the nihght for literally no gain whatsoever this is pure self harm. Which I do becauase again I hate myself. Because I didn't do my work. Which i won't do tomorrow either because i'll be so tired I wont be able to string a sentence together even though I'm supposed to give a presentation haha. My favorite activity is staring at the clock on my laptop getting later and later and later. new high score etc. Who's a hypersomniac now. Imagine how much easier this semester would have been if I'd gone to bed before 2am ever. I'm so fucking angry at myself I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now even. If I fail my classes again my parents are gonna make me live at home forever and say im too crazy to live on my own. I know I was supposed to get a therapist but I hate them all so, so, so much. I think people get that job bc they feel powerful telling some pathetic person what to do knowing I literally cannot do it and will come back week after week admittingn failure and paying

I know I was supposed to take the new experimental FDA approved drug for IH but the list of side effects is fucking terrifying and I live and sleep alone so i really don't want to take a super powerful sedative that can make you stop breathing. So I'm gonna keep taking stimualnts and lying to myself that today is the last day I stay up extremely late for no reason.

#it's really sad I'll skip the meds sometimes to try to sleep and it doesn't even help. I just feel worse while awake. #The real reason i can't sleep is because im screwing myself over by doing no work and im terrified im going to fail my fucking classes #and theyre all going to say im crazy if I fail my classes. theyre going to say im crazy and I self sabotaged on purpose #bc i dont want to succeed. Dad says that every day #Dad loves telling me everytjhing wrong with me multiple times a day every day so i never ever forget #hes so helpful. He's trying so hard to help. If i dont answer the phone he starts worrying ive committed suicide #again i was suicidal one week in 2019. Get the fuck over it. You've literally threatened to kill yourself multiple times. Fucking hypocrite #a bunch of my friends are going to graduate this semester and best case scenario i graudate next semester and then I'll lose touch with eve #ybody #and then the good times are over and life is boring and hell forever and ill get more disabled every year until I can't work and then I'll #run out of money and die #you know when I talked to my genetics professor about the alzheimer's results he said somethign will kill you eventually and it #wont be that unless you live to old age which will be good! #so true bestie. so ture #Guys lets be real here. Why the fuck. Do we live. why. It is so goddamn hard. Maybe it;s easy when u get sleep . But that hasn't happened t #me for a while #all my classes end next week and i havent done most assignments since spring break #also over spring break my parents met w a lawyer to revise their will adn afterwards dad told me im executor and explained to me what will #happen after each person in my family dies. #the assumption is that I will outlive everyone. they don't think my sister will live to old age adn they are already old #the lawyer apparently has clients with the same disability as me and all of them had the same thing happen. Once they get another disabilit #and get older it becomes impossible to manage IH and they cant work til retirement age #i just spent an hour typing this shit instead of sleeping. 4am-730am sleep lets go. I should kill myself #i hate my parents fucking advicce bc they;; be like well when i was ur age I was married it sure must suck to be single!!!! fuck you guys f

[bangcakes]

.

#im sorry but if he really was waiting for me yesterday im gonna have a whole meltdown like oh my GOD?????? #like THATS??????????????? #n like... ugh that fuckin asshole that said something to him OHHHHHHH !!!!! UGH. #like....... god. ...... .. theres no other explanation. like usually he leaves right away ok. well until he started waiting for me NDNNDMDM #but to do that after an exam... when he like.... just wants to get out of there n study for the next one.... #o bro i cant handle this. thats so sweet wtf..... like....... HHHHHHHHHHH GOD. #this Has to be going somewhere like i cant be imagining this. i cant be #n not only would he have wanted to get outta there bc of having to study.... he also literally doesnt like talking to anyone except me n #one of my other friends JDNDMDMDMMDMDMSM #and like he would have been waiting awhile bc like over 20 mins went by between him leaving n my other friend leaving... and then after tha #god im so sad...... i wish that JERK hadnt said anything to him. i bet he would have stayed 😭😭😭😭😭 #hhhhhhhhhhh........ #n e way NDNNDNDNDMDMMD. im gonna see this until the end.... like lmao theres Something here i can tell...... #and like okay even if we just end up friends... like ok maybe i'll be crushed but JDJJDJDJDJDJFJ hes so cute. i wanna keep him forever..... #n like god. hes even cute in a grumpy way which... god thats my weakness forever im just 🥺🥺🥺 #its just !!!! hes so honest !!! like always says what hes feeling n then once he says it hes over it. like idk hes perfect to me JZJJZJZJZJ #GOD. im so obsessed. help #and like GOD. i really keep coming back to this post and adding more im JUST..... #his eyes are so kind. like i cant even explain this. i just ... god hes so cute..... #personal

[plushie-lovey]

I've been thinking a lot about my plushie collection and rn I'm just soo overwhelmed by it. Because there's so many of them, and most of them I unfortunately have no attachment to. A majority of the collection was bought on impulse (mostly from goodwill and other second hand shops, where plush are sold very cheaply so its easy to purchase more at one time). I want to sort thru them and get rid of the mass majority that I no longer want, to make room for ones I actually care about, but it feels like such a hassle.

My datemate keeps trying to convince me to wait until we move to do anything. But then I'll have my first collection combined with the one at my current residence and it'll be even more overwhelming. And then there's the thought of where I'm even going to send all these plush. I live in a apartment with cats, and although most of the plush are in boxes, it might still make it hard to sell them because of that. And I live with smokers with no respect, who like to open my bedroom door and let all their nasty smells and nicotine get into my shit, so that's going to make selling even harder.

I could just (re)donate my plush, but then I'll be basically throwing money away, and the same thing would be true if I literally threw them out. Maybe I'll try to sell the ones ik haven't been contaminated by anything because of being boxed up, and the rest I'll just donate. I could see if there's any children's or women's shelters I could send some to. I want to drop a few off for toys for tots as well, mainly the squishmallows because they still have tags and ik they'll be well loved

#ik I've talked about this before #but I truly mean it this time that Im overwhelmed #I have no room for new plushies #even the blue BAB frog I just bought. I haven't the faintest idea where it's gonna go #I'll obviously find room but still #and it makes me sad to have all these plushies here that I just. do not like #its mostly squishmallows that Im detesting atm #Im so over then #but they're my main displayed plushies and I don't want them anymore #I will keep a small handful. but the rest need to go bye bye. because they take up soooo much room #and are just. everywhere. #and there's a bunch of plush I don't even remember buying that are in the boxes that I definitely want gone #before I'd said sorting thru them all was hard. now I don't think it will be #maybe its just because Im nit hyperfixating on plushies rn that Im able to think more clearly about it #but yeah its time to purge my collection #Im even gonna get rid of some webkinz because a bunch of them were bought impulsively #luckily they were sorted right to the bottom of the boxes for their protection so I think I'll be able to sell them easily #anyways thanks for reading my rant guys #and if anyone has any advice on what I should do please let me know #viti shoosh