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#im such a sucker for 'i genuinely made peace with loving all by myself and im finding my way to cope with this
nozunhinged · 2 months
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I just know I'm gonna cry so hard this weekend...he is fully prepared to live with this love all by himself for the rest of his life 😭😭😭
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ghostiewriter · 1 year
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So I have a question and i just wanna say in no way am i trying to be mean or anything I'm genuinely curious and I hope i don't come off sounding like an asshole because I'm really trying not to be 😭. But I've seen that you ship gwyn and azriel from acotar and i read the series myself recently which i very much enjoyed but I really couldn't find myself shipping them together while reading it. I was waiting for something to happen between them that would tip me off that maybe they were into each other a little but i couldn't or i just didn't feel much when reading about them.
I wanted to ask what exactly your reasons were for wanting them together and again I'm really not trying go be rude i just wanted to see from your perspective.
you're not coming off rude at all, bestie!! its so fine!!
i'll be honest, up until acosf came out, i was at peace with the idea that azriel was probably gonna be paired off with elain and it didn't bother me all that much, but then gwyn came into the picture and everything just made sense to me
whilst the three sisters/three brothers plot would be incredibly predictable, azriel and gwyn's story is quite poetic to me.
here you have this powerful warrior whose always viewed himself lesser than his brothers, who goes for women he deep down knows he shouldn't, who never saw himself worthy of love or just never believed it was in the stars for him because he has all these "ugly" reminders (aka his scars being a direct and constant reminder of his trauma)
then you have gwyn who is the opposite of azriel in a sense. she went through something equally as horrible and traumatic, but her scars are internal. she is strong, bold and sassy when you eventually get to know her, and very determined but there is still that fear holding her back from being truly healed. she is terrified that the library will be her future forever, that the closest she will get to that kind of love would be in books she reads.
i think they both also parallel each other in how they view everything. they both care deeply about the people around them, but azriel's view tends to be more pessimistic when it comes to him and gwyn tends to be more isolating.
i think through the small interactions we do see of them, they just fit each other personality wise. azriel has seen gwyn at her worst and yet helps her get to her best through training. gwyn doesn't treat azriel like the scary spymaster everyone views him as, she treats him like a person. add in the wee "you're the new ribbon, az" and "see you tomorrow, shadowsinger" and i just think they compliment each other so well
gwyn catches him off guard, she helps him just relax a little and we see it throughout the book, but i think the best is in the azriel bonus chapter. he was so wound up and conflicted and going through so much, and all of a sudden here comes gwyn who throws him off and he actually seems quite relaxed throughout the interaction. gwyn would give him the unconditional love he doesnt believe he deserves because she sees him as a person
whilst i think azriel would help be the person gwyn needs to heal. obviously its a personal journey, but having someone there with her who quite literally saw her at her worst would be that small comfort she needs when she is healing. plus the fact she is comfortable around him shows that she does trust him
there is obviously other small moments like the fact he was worried when she was in the blood rite, their story being a parallel to a little mermaid retelling and the general angst of the necklace situation being something sjm would definitely do but i just truly adore them so much
and the idea that both of them have this aversion to touch but would help each other through it? help each other heal from their trauma/scars?🥹yeah okay im just such a sucker for them
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mu-pt1 · 2 years
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falling ten feet for two days
im so sick of being this completely different person around other people. I never realized it before but now that im aware that im not acting like the person I truly am, it has made my life oh so more miserable than it was before. I pretend to be this happy loving person when really I get annoyed at the smallest things and resent specific people for no reason at all. I know, it sounds like im just trying to be different but I wanna be who I really am. I wanna show off my interests and my hobbies without people ridiculing me for it. sure, im genuinely a nice person but im not the kiss ass everyone thinks I am. sometimes I like playing petty tricks or saying small things to start up an argument between my friends. sometimes I even like pretending to be sad or sick in order to get attention. im not sure why I like the concern so much but it sort of fuels my ego in a way and gets rid of the thought that no one cares about me (temporarily of course.) I also hate being judged based off what I like or being made fun of because of it. yes, im super girly. I like songs without words. I like writing about teenage fantasies. I like dating even though ive never done it before and turn down every opportunity. I like going for hour long jogs. I like sitting around in the comfort of my own house all the time. I like waking up super early. and I like staying up late to listen to cringey asmr audios (even though I hate staying up past 2) and im a sucker for attention. and especially, I like being myself and dressing the way I wanna dress and acting the way I wanna act. people think that I act a certain way just because im black and if I dont act that way then I wanna be white. maybe I just am that way? anyways, here's a quote from a story ive been writing.
“I just dont get it. If im sad, why does there have to be a reason? If im sad then just let me feel that way in peace. I dont always have to have an excuse just to cry. Then it makes it seem like I have no reason to cry when im upset because theres nothing going wrong. Maybe im just feeling overcome with emotions and even I dont understand why im crying!”
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fe-husband-heaven · 4 years
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Thanks to popular demand ;) Part two is here!!
Ehuehuehue of course, with the quote I think lands them on the list!
Part 2! Of Heroes I think have a thing for the Summoner:
Henry:
"You won't die, will you, Summoner? If you died, I'd have to invent a horrible new hex for whoever killed you. So just...stay alive, OK?"
Henry is genuinely sweet. So long as you're not on the wrong side;; He gets attached if you're kind to him so he's at your every beck and call rather quickly, even if you say he doesn't have to do your chores, he insists on it.
ZHDBDDH he's extremely protective, not in an overbearing fashion but more that anything that messes with you, messes with him. He's learned to keep his face in an eternal smile but he prefers to see that yours are real :')) Sweet boy
Henry and The Summoner end up just being known as that duo. As in Do Not Separate. (Mostly because leaving Henry alone to his own devices is asking for trouble) but also, Henry just likes having you with him during his shenanigans nyaha
Raven:
"Glad to fight for you. Long as it doesn't get in the way of...well, never mind." "Need me? Just say so."
"But now, none of that matters. I've come to my senses after watching you at work here. Does any of that make sense? If not, forget I said anything. I'll still fight hard for you."
Veterans of this blog...yall know know. This man is the start of it all djxjdj
Homeboy gave up his revenge, choosing instead to fight for you rather than a past that's haunted him.
Raven's a bit of a bodyguard, with his resting angry face, he scares off anyone who might approach you whenever you're with him. And he can be quite impulsive so if he thinks someone's upset you, he's out to pick a fight.
Hnnnnghgh my boy💖💕💖
Ephraim:
"I will fight. To bring peace to this world, and for your sake, too." || "You know, I like you. And I feel I can trust you completely."
"I will protect you. Just believe in me and follow my lead." || "I'll protect you. I don't want to lose anyone else."
"I'm thankful that the two us can spend this winter festival together. It means a lot to me."
Ephraim💙💙💙hnnnnngh, I love him so much!! And he's constantly going and on and on about how he's going to protect the summoner. A loaded statement considering how much he already has to protect ;)
Ephraim is a bit oblivious though, he has no clue he likes you himself. And he won't know until he's made to think about it by someone else. It's just something he's never worried about.
But his behavior makes it clear to others. Ruffling your hair, escorting you nearly everywhere and even having you nearby as he sparred with other heroes. It seems as though him and the summoner are inseparable!
He's just as protective as the Henry and Raven but Ephraim runs off of his instinct to protect you rather than than being pissed off at someone who upset you.
Yarne:
"You always look so busy. Why don't you take a break and pet my fur? I hear that it's pretty relaxing."
"I'm not big on danger, but I don't want to see you go extinct, either. On the battlefield, you stay behind me, OK?"
like Libra, HIS ENTIRE LVL 40 CONVO: "Hey, Summoner...Did you notice? I didn't jump when you spoke to me. I heard you coming. Lately, I catch myself listening for your footsteps, wondering where you're going...If you ended up getting attacked, summoners would go extinct! And I'd be pretty lonely. If you're ever in danger, shout my name, or just make a loud noise. I'll hear it and come running! Thanks to you, I've gotten plenty strong. Now I can protect you! Thanks for giving me the courage to help."
Bro...the footsteps thing is so cuuuute! The fact that he recognizes them...aww! ++Offering up his fur to be pet?? Absolutely superb-
Yarne's fear of going extinct is always something he's struggled with but he's willing to push through it to keep you safe. He's a sweet man who places the summoner's safety at the same level as his own. And that's why I think he absolutely deserves a spot on this list!
Lucius:
"I feared that you'd lose respect for me if you knew the truth—or would even be repulsed. I do such good works that I shouldn't allow myself to care, but when it comes to you...I do. I put myself in your hands. Will you like or loathe me? But know this, you will have my loyalty."
Lucius is so sweet and caring and very supportive of the summoner, my poor boy doesn't even care about whether or not you'd shun him, just that you know he'd support you regardless.
dndnxnx I can definitely see him falling for the summoner but feeling no need to divulge it to them juuuuuust yet. He's very much content with simply being near the summoner so he doesn't think all that much about revealing any feelings.
Of course, he's incredibly attentive so if the summoner falls for him...he'll know. But even then, he'll wait for them to come to him. Patiently. As long as he has to.
Valter:
"I will master you. Someday."
"You are mine now. Entertain me! More!"
"I do take what I want. I'll take whatever I desire. From anyone. Knowing this, you have made use of me. And you have granted me much power... I cannot understand your actions. Do you intend to control me? Or do you long for me to be your master? Either way, you have become my finest prey. I will not permit another to sate their bloodlust on you...Just me."
I said the ones who have a thing for the summoner, not whether or not it was a BAD thing cjcnfnfnxn
Hoo boy. Possessive and obsessive is the name of the game in this wheelhouse;; though it's a little strange when it comes to Valter. He has a very calm demeanor (most of the time) when speaking to the summoner as opposed to his manic state in batttle.
My reason for putting him on this list is the clear "This one belongs to me." attitude cjfjdjd I have a feeling that he has no issue getting to use his lance against any of the summoner's "admirers"
Gaius:
"Here to beg more candy off me? I'm not sharing this one, though— it's my favorite right now. Packed with sweet, sweet honey...Hm? You don't want candy? You got work for me, then? ...No? Wait, you're not just here to spend time with me, are ya? 'Cause that'd make you a big ol' marshmallow. Only softies try to build relationships up for their own sake. And here you are—soft as cotton candy. Heh. I changed my mind. Take the honey candy. No reason—just my way of saying thanks."
Isn't this SO cute?? Gaius, the king of all things sweet and sugary, giving his favorite candy to the summoner because they just want to spend time with him....how cute!!
He's such a softie for them and it's adorable! If anyone's being led by the nose here, it's Gaius. But without the summoner knowing how positively melt able Gaius is💖💖💖
Gaius isn't a mean guy by nature but I think him giving away his new favorite candy is a clear sign of a particular fondness.
Narcian:
"I'll make you regret that you picked a fight with me, Narcian! One day I'll make you kneel. Then I'll pet your head like a little kitty—and keep you at my side forever! Ha ha ha ha!"
Is this one surprising to yall? jddjdj its really just the kitty at my side part that makes me think it heheheh. Narcian thinks of Narcian first and such, he is deserving of the best.
And of all the fleas that drown in his brilliance, he has deemed you the best in suiting him. (ꈍᴗꈍ) Isn't that lovely?
In his lvl. 40 conversation, he mentions that the summoner has said he's full of himself so...this is 100% a dynamic of the summoner being tired of his crap and the guy who thinks this summoner belongs to him fjfjfjfj
Shigure:
"I'm glad you've come to see me. Do you want my company on a mission? Or perhaps to just look for a rainbow. I do enjoy being by myself, but spending time with you is also quite relaxing. Perhaps it's because... You're not the chatty type. I have grown fond of you. I hope you'll remember me even after we one day part ways. Nothing would make me happier than if every time you glance at the sky or hear a song, you think of me. Perhaps it's a bit selfish for a mere Hero to ask for such a thing from a Summoner, but it's simply how I feel. And I thought you should know."
"I don't like singing for an audience. Unless, of course, that audience is you. You are often in my thoughts."
"Would you walk with me sometime? You could tell me more about this beautiful world and about yourself as well."
So I counted, and Shigure has asked the Summoner like 5 times if they'd like to go somewhere or do something with him fjfjfjdn And he's asked them not to forget him, it seems that he wants to remain imprinted in their thoughts.
There's a bit of a calm but melancholy air in this dynamic sometimes. But it switches to a light environment when he speaks about going for rides on his pegasus with the summoner. :') Dhdjfj isn't it a cute idea to go on a flying date??
Shigure is sweet and is even willing to sing for the summoner, so long as they are the only one to be his audience. He's got no qualms about sharing his voice with the summoner and its "Got a thing for the summoner" worthy (ꈍᴗꈍ)
Chrom:
"Aren't you cold? I wouldn't be much of a Hero if I let our summoner collapse. Here, take my cape."
"If you're ever in trouble, just call for me. Wherever you are, I'll come running with the wind at my back."
"You spend time with me. You're by my side, cheering me on. You make me stronger. That...makes me happier than you can guess. I'm truly grateful. I'll do what I can to do the same for you."
Hxhxhx im a sucker for the "Take my coat" trope. He's so supportive and an absolute sweetheart, baring his heart out to the summoner. He speaks a lot about how nothing will ever break his and the summoner's bond too!
He mentions it constantly! In fact, in his lvl.40 Bunny Version Conversation, he paints (a bad) portrait of the summoner on a festival egg and writes a poem on the other side about how much he values the summoner's presence.
He's absolutely intent on displaying how much he cares about his bond with the summoner and it's a very sweet dynamic. He's eager to show how much he cherishes them and that's the easiest way to end up on this list xjxhxhxh
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littlemisssquiggles · 5 years
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RWBY Musings #65: A Tale of Love. A Squiggle Meister’s Views on the similarities between Oscar and Salem
Someone asked “ Now I love parallels too and I’ve noticed that you would like to see a rosegarden Ozma Salem hand hold. As cute as that sounds, it kinda scares me. Ozma and Salem ended in tragedy. What would happen to Ruby and Oscar 😞 “
Squiggles Answers:
I'd love to see the hand hold scene mirrored in Ruby and Oscar because it was done during a moment where Salem and Ozma reunited and re-established their love for one another.
While Salem and Ozma's romance ended in tragedy, I still adore their love story because before their whole involvement with the Gods respectfully, they both first and foremost were two young lovers who wanted more than anything just to be together forever and went above and beyond to do that even if it meant disobeying the Gods.
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The true tragedy wasn't that Ozma and Salem wound up sworn enemies but mainly how much the God's intervention changed them into two people unrecognizable from who they used to be to the point where you wouldn't believe either loved the other to the point of defying both the Gods and death itself to be reunited.
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The positive that I take away from the Tragic Lovers or Fairy Tale (I think that’s their ship name) romance is the unyielding devotion and strength of their love or at least what it used to be. How much Salem and Ozma were willing to go through just to be together. Salem approached the Gods to beg for Ozma to be brought back to life for her because she couldn’t stand living the rest of her days without him and Ozma only chose to return to Remnant because the God of Light told him that Salem was still alive in that world. Let’s not forget that Ozma initially refused his godly task because in his eyes, Remnant wasn’t the same or as dear to him without his beloved Salem.
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This is why I like this ship so much. Before RWBY revealed Ozpin and Salem’s past together, I was gunning for them to be lovers from the get go. Hence my previous musings like this one, this one and this one. I knew their love was going to end in pain anyways but I was still banking on them being companions and lovers and what we got was even more bittersweet than what I envisioned. A brave knight who rescued a lonely maiden from her captivity and the two fell deeply in love ever after. Who wouldn’t eat that up? This squiggle meister surely would. I’m a sucker for those types of romance stories. It hurts when you think about what Ozma and Salem’s tale became in the end. But I still ship it though. Still loving that Fairy Tale.
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That's what I'd love to see and can see for a potential romance between Ruby and Oscar. Not the tragedy part, of course, although let’s admit, it will be in there since time and fate will arrive to challenge the bond between these two smaller, more honest souls given one’s connection to a certain other character.
Nevertheless, what I mostly would love to see in a future RoseGarden love story (if it’s in the cards) is that that unyielding love. That strong devotion to one another’s well-being and protecting each other while fighting together for what they both believe in and the lives of the people they both care about. When I look at Ruby, her righteous heart and desire to help others actually reminds me a lot of Ozma. You would think it’d be Salem but nah. I can actually see similarities between Salem and Oscar. Oscar’s infatuation with Ruby and obvious admiration of her strength, courageousness and pure heart reminds me of how Salem used to revere Ozma. Well…at least in that one shot we got.
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Another similarity between Oscar and Past Salem that I noticed is just as how Salem lived a sheltered life trapped in her lonely tower dreaming of freedom and a life beyond its uncharted walls, the same can be said for Oscar who seemingly lived a sheltered and quiet life as a farmhand back on his aunt's farm while still fantasizing of a life beyond his home in Mistral.
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The key difference between Salem and Oscar is that Salem was more self-seeking; albeit as a result of her unknown upbringing and being forced to live a lonely life locked off from the rest of the world by the only family she had; whereas Oscar is selfless. While we still don’t know much more about Oscar’s past with his family beyond the few scrapings of details left from V4, one can safely assume that Oscar was well loved and taken care of by his family.
Though he was only seen to have his aunt for guardianship, from what I observed back in V4, Oscar still retained a good relationship with his Auntie Pine who took no problem in taking Oscar into his household, providing him a comfortable home where he could’ve had his own room for privacy and a warm plate of food on the table every evening for supper in exchange for Oscar working on the farm which he didn’t seem to mind. Overall, though he desired more from his life, Oscar was quite comfortable and content living with his aunt hence the reason why he wasn’t so keen on leaving at first after Ozpin’s unceremonious arrival into his life.
Unlike Salem, Oscar more or less knew and felt love before leaving his old life behind which I guess made it all the more easy for him to give it. One characteristic I’ve noticed about Salem’s personality that always shines through, even in her past self, is her selfishness---that nature about her that always puts her desires above anything else.
This is the complete opposite of Oscar. One thing I’ve noticed about Oscar’s personality is that he makes a habit of pushing aside his own feelings in place of doing what he feels is right or better, not particularly for himself but for others around him as a whole.
This is not an entirely bad trait to have. I myself, do the same thing from time to time to avoid conflict or tension with others because I don’t like conflict. Someone once asked me what I thought Oscar’s personality type might be and my first guess was a INFJ. Speaking as someone with that personality type, I see quite a few traits of an INFJ in Oscar. Although I’m still gathering as much as I can about his persona as provided in the series, I’m still sticking with my first choice of Oscar having an advocate/ counsellor type of personality because there are key examples from the show where he’s exhibited that trait. Specifically with Ruby.
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Ironically, it’s Oscar’s moments with Ruby that help bring out that caring, compassionate and willing to do what he can to help others type of personality in Oscar the most. Oscar cares for others, particularly with those closest to him. Even when he’s literally backed against a wall, Oscar puts himself last in the scenario.
This is a boy who got shoved into a wall by one of his peers after being wrongfully accused in one scene and is then seen making this person and the others a hot meal after they went looking for him after he went missing in another. 
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Y’know, I harped a lot on V6 C9 on how they handled Oscar coming to terms with his feelings. But…y’know what? Now that I’ve had more time to think about the episode in terms of Oscar’s character, I realized that the bit with Oscar is surprisingly the most relatable thing I’ve seen in the show…at least to me.
Blake said the group needed space and that’s exactly what Oscar did. He went off on his own, let out whatever negativity he needed to get off his chest in that moment doing who knows what, came back and by the time the group found him, he was fine. All things forgiven if there was anything to forgive. Whatever lingering discomfort that Oscar might have harboured for Jaune was easily washed away when Jaune apologized and Oscar could see and hear how genuinely remorseful Jaune felt for his actions.
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Though I still would’ve liked the episode to have shown how Oscar came to terms with his emotions and getting over it, I can’t be 100% mad anymore at the Writers for choosing to have Oscar adopt that attitude after the events of V6 C8…cause if it were me, I probably would’ve reacted and resolved the same way as Oscar did. I would’ve been cussing Jaune’s face in my mind for how he treated me with a face as straight as a pin but I would have forgiven him all the same after seeing how hurt he was for the things said and done and would have chosen to move on from the problem with better resolve; just as Oscar did.
I saw myself in Oscar while rewatching this moment and for that, I can’t be too mad at the writing for C9. Still mad. But not too mad. Only 65% versus the original 101%.  Oscar Pine--- right in the relatability! That’s why he’s my favourite!  This scene showed me how mature Oscar is for his age in how he takes in problems and decides to address them despite being the youngest of the group. 
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Basically what I’m saying is that Oscar is a good boy. He’s such a good boy. Too much of good boy. Sigh. Please don’t hurt my precious freckled baby boy too much CRWBY. I want him to grow up big and strong and devilishly handsome so that he can sweep Ruby off her feet and the rosebuds can get married in 5-10 years and live happily ever after on a farm or whatever plot of land they can afford wherever in New Remnant during a time when the Gods have returned, the kingdoms are at peace again, the Grimm are there but are no longer the monstrous threat they used to be so that Oscar and Ruby’s future string band of children can grow up in a world void of war and the threats of the former Salem who would have moved on to have her happy ending with Ozma at long last in the afterlife. The end.
Returning to my point on Oscar and Salem now. Just as how Ozma arrived to free Salem from her captivity, you can almost say that the same was done for Oscar when Ozpin's arrival sparked his departure from home to become a huntsman. In a way, Ozma’s presence in Salem and Oscar’s lives gave them the push they needed to take the first step towards the freedom and change they both desired.
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But as I mentioned before. Though Oscar and Salem share parallels, the defining difference between them is how either values others over themselves. As much as Salem’s past with Ozma made me empathize with her as a villain, it doesn’t excuse the fact that Salem is a person who is mostly out to achieve her own desires above anyone else’s. As a matter of fact, the revelation of her past and involvement with the destruction of Remnant only affirms my point. In her past life, Salem was probably so used to looking out for herself due to her years of isolation that it sort of developed a warped sense of egocentrism (not the word I was looking for but I’ll roll with it) that later translated into her relationship with Ozma.
I'm not denying the fact that Salem loved Ozma nor am I trying to imply that her feelings for him weren’t genuine at all. On the contrary, Salem definitely loved Ozma proving that she is capable of compassion. This is one of the things that makes Salem a far more intriguing villain to me now. What I appreciate about Salem and essentially Ozpin-Ozma too is that despite that fact that both represent the sides of good and evil in show; neither are entirely what they’re supposed to represent. They actually very gray characters.
Though Ozpin is the hero and personifies light and the preservation of all life in Remnant, Ozpin has been noted to have done some shady things that otherwise painted him in a negative light as we saw most of all this volume.
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The same can be said for Salem. Although she is our main villain, I’ve noted times where Salem has shown a softer, kinder, even motherly side to her to some degree. For example, her relationship with Cinder Fall in particular. Cinder is Salem’s apprentice and the way Salem treats Cinder is almost like a surrogate mother with her daughter.  
I mean, Salem could have easily had Cinder killed with a snap of her finger just as she did with Lionheart and have her Maiden magic extracted and given to someone else more worthy if she so desired. We all know she has the capability to do that. So then why not do it? What reason does Salem have to keep Cinder alive especially knowing fully well how she is?
I don’t know about you guys but it reminded me of a strict parent punishing their child but still going easy on them. Still keeping a close eye on them because they know their child so well that they have full confidence that they’ll ultimately come of their senses.
 That’s why Salem is leaving Cinder alone to quote, ‘toil in her isolation until she redeems herself’. She’s punishing her but at the time, Salem also knows that Cinder will come back stronger and far deadlier than she was before because of this experience and that’s what Salem wants. It’s what she expects of her perfect apprentice. Her successor.
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But here’s the thing. Salem loved Ozma and in the end, she still put her own desires about even him. Even if Salem is capable of loving someone, her selfish nature always resurfaces to prevail in her endeavours.
Rather than honouring Ozma's life and allowing him to rest as the God of Light said, Salem challenged the Gods again and again until it resulted in her winding up immortal but alone; cursed to walk Remnant’s face until the world is either destroyed or Salem learnt the value of life as the God of Light had hoped she would.
Did she though? Well that fact that she’s trying to gather all Four Relics while simultaneously making plans to jumpstart a Second Great War within the kingdoms of Remnant which would throw the world into the perfect chaos to get it permanently destroyed by the Gods’ return speaks volumes of how much she still hasn’t learned her lesson yet.
Salem may have loved Ozma and the life they built together after he returned but even that was later upturned by Salem’s own selfishness. From the get go Salem has only catered more for herself and even after all these years, she still refuses to see the light of what the God of Light warned her about herself. Say what you will about the Gods. Though the Brothers are also pretty grey characters themselves, it doesn’t change the fact that there was justification behind their actions with Salem. A lesson to be learnt that’s unfortunately still being avoided.
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Salem was cursed with immortality because she refused to let go of her selfishness after attempting to trick the Gods into granting her desired wish of being reunited with her lover. As the God of Light rightfully said, in the beginning, when Salem made her first attempt to revive Ozma, her motives were worth pitying. As a viewer, I felt for Salem the first time. However after her second failed attempt and watching the people of First Remnant get manipulated and killed because of her personal vendetta against the Gods, my sympathy well dried up as I started to see Salem become the antagonist I know her to be.
And what’s even more depressing and noteworthy is that even after causing all that death and chaos to Remnant, Salem still did not learn her lesson and she still hasn’t to this current timeline in RWBY. She still continues to pursue her own desires and see the lives of others as nothing more but tools to use in her pursuit of what she wants.
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This brings me to the meat of my post and why I’ve been making parallels between Oscar and Salem.
I have this theory---one that I’ll delve deeper into in a future musing--- about Oscar becoming an immortal just like Salem. Hear me out on this one. What if… Oscar meets the God of Light in the Realm between Realms similar to Ozma and asks him to grant him immortality. Not because he wants to preserve his own life but for the selfless motive of him desiring to use his newfound immortality to protect the people Oscar cared about while taking on the full mantle of saving humanity from the plight of Salem and her forces without the need to force Ozma and any more unsuspecting souls after him with such a task.
Imagine if… Oscar willing sacrificed his own life to end it. End the cycle and let it start over with him alone.  
Imagine if…Oscar became the last Wizard of Light. The only Wizard and the cycle resets with him as he’s turned immortal.
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As I said, I plan to go more in depth with this theory soon in another musing but it’s definitely something I think could be a potential twist with Oscar’s story. I don’t want to put it as an expectation but I would love to play around with the concept of it.
I’ve seen many Pineheads worrying over Oscar being taken over by Ozpin completely or losing himself to the Merge so to counter that, I raise this possibility of Oscar essentially becoming the last reincarnate---the Last Wizard of Light as he willingly choses to dedicate the rest of his existence to stopping Salem while Ozpin, Ozma and all the other past Wizards culminated inside him over the centuries can finally be laid to rest knowing that Oscar will be the likeminded successor to carry out their legacy and mission all on his own and of his own choice as himself going forward.
If you’ve read any of my Oscar-themed musings and theories before, y’know I’ve been singing this idea of Oscar being the end to the reincarnation cycle along with him being the true reincarnate of Ozma’s original form.
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I still stand very firmly by those theories because the series has set up Oscar being special---completely different from the other Wizards. The lingering question brought up in this series is whether or not Oscar will be just another one of Ozma’s lives to live out and I don’t think he will be. I believe the very fact that Ozpin reincarnated within Oscar of all people at such a young age compared to the other lives and in such a short space of time between rebirths was the first sign of how different his journey was going to be.
In the Legend of Korra series, Korra technically became the last Avatar and first Avatar in the second book. Basically the Avatar cycle sort of reset itself with Korra.
So I’d like to think Oscar will follow a similar experience where the reincarnation cycle will change with him. Oscar could symbolize the end and beginning to a new cycle. That’s why I like the concept of him becoming immortal. Instead of Ozma’s soul being reborn in the minds of different men and those souls coming together to form who we know today as the Wizard, Oscar will be the last one so that the next time Oscar dies---either he’ll die for good (meaning the God of Light strips him entirely of the reincarnation curse) or Oscar won’t die and will be reborn as himself at the last point of death or perhaps he’ll get to stay fourteen years old forever until Salem is defeated. Who knows? Overall I really love the idea of Oscar becoming an immortal just like Salem.
I mean sure Ozma had his reincarnation curse but technically his immortality wasn’t the same as Salem’s. Jinn did allude to Salem, quote, ‘meeting her adversary in time’. Of course, at the moment of revelation, the obvious assumption to that for me was Ozma since he’s the one we know is Salem’s main opponent.
However…Ozma once shared a relationship with Salem. He had a past with her. He loved her and I’d like to think that love is still there buried deep within. I don’t want to say that Ozma’s love for Salem has been his crutch but that little titbit is starting to make me wonder that perhaps…the true adversary that Salem was supposed to have wasn’t Ozma or any of the Wizards after him. It was Oscar.
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For all we know, what if…Ozma and the other incarnates were just another experiment conducted by the God of Light similar to how he said Remnant was an experiment for him and his brother to learn from.
Imagine if… Light basically used Ozma and the other Wizards as guinea pigs in his formation of the perfect adversary for Salem---one the Gods believed could truly achieve what his successors could not. Defeat Salem once and for all and undo their mistake of the past. That could be an intriguing twist too. It does paint the Gods in a very heartless light more so than the actual canon did unfortunately but still worth tossing out as a theory y’know.
But yeah, that’s the theory I’m working with for now.
Returning to the original point of this response post, I know I’m hoping for Ruby and Oscar’s love to parallel Ozma and Salem in some ways but not all parallels have to end the same. Just because Ozma and Salem’s love ended in tragedy doesn’t mean that the same will befall Ruby and Oscar for their potential love story.
If Oscar and Ruby were to fall in love, I’d love to believe their love will be different. It’ll probably have its own fair share of harsh challenges particularly the ones stirred by Salem but it will be a different story with a much better end. A happier ending than the Fairy Tale lovers.
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Y’know what’s ironic and what would best summarize my answer to this post. It was Ozma and Salem’s love that admittedly brought about the end of humanity in a way when you think about it. All the more reason for me to believe that it’ll be the love between Oscar and Ruby that will save the world. The relationship to blossom between them, the love and devotion they’ll come to share for each other and the people they care about---that’s what’ll save both Remnant and Salem from damnation.
I know it sounds cheesy but I do love me a good plate of cheese in romance.
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More Squiggles’ RWBY Content
 ~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)
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flyingsculptures · 5 years
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50 Questions Tag
Tagged by @sadienita​, ur wonderful and ily
1. What takes up too much of your time? Stressing about doing things rather than actually doing them lolol
2. What makes your day better? If it’s been a bad day, then coming home and having a massive vent sesh with my roommate
3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? My coworkers and I all get along, but this morning everyone was in a really good mood and joking around with each other, it was fun!!
4. What fictional place would you like to go? King Kai’s Planet in dragon ball z, that shit looks peaceful af
5. Are you good at giving advice? sometimes, depending on the topic
6. Do you have any mental illness? I do, issues with depression mostly, but anxiety as well, but things have been SO much better since I’ve gone to therapy and started medication
7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? YEAH BRUH SHITS SCARY
8. What musician inspired you the most? this is gonna sound lame af, but debussy. i’m a classically trained musician and playing his pieces shaped me
9. Have you ever fallen in love? i’ve been in love with someone once, but they didn’t love me back the same way. it hurt but i’m glad i’ve experienced what it’s like to feel that way about someone
10. What’s your dream date? tbh i’m a sucker for coffee dates, but only if i know the other person at least a little bit. otherwise, maybe a museum?
11. What do others notice about you? i dunno, you’d have to ask them i guess, but i’ve been told i can be stubborn and that i care too much
12. What is the annoying habit you have? sometimes i can run over the end of peoples sentences in conversations, i think. i promise it’s only bc im excited
13. Do you still talk to your first love? lol NO
14. How many ex’s do you have? two my dude
15. How many songs are on your playlist? binch which playlist, i’m a playlist QUEEN. I think my biggest one has over 300
16. What instruments can you play? i’m a classically trained pianist, started when i was 4 or 5. because i have such a solid theory base, i can usually pick up most things, at least a little bit
17. Who do you have the most pictures of? i have a ton of pictures on my phone rn of my parents when they were super young, but otherwise maybe my roommate?
18. Where would you like to go before you die? i would want to go back to ireland, but i would want to go with my family
19. What is your zodiac? both moon and sun in taurus, ascending in leo *finger guns*
20. Do you relate to it? I don’t know how much i actually believe astrology, but i do know i’m stubborn as hell, and fairly grounded
21. What is happiness to you? watching other people be stupid happy, like not in general, but experiencing something that just makes their face light up
22. Are you going through anything right now? all day erryday
23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? trying to do what made my parents happy instead of what made me happy
24. What’s your favorite store? a local store called Stick it in Your Ear, they sell records and cds and stuff
25. What’s your opinion on abortion? Pro-choice, i can’t tell anyone what to do with their own body
26. Do you keep a bucket list? mmm not really, i don’t like putting that stress on myself lolol
27. Do you have a favorite album at the moment? i listen to playlists rather than albums these days tbh, so i can’t think of any
28. What do you want for your birthday? to see my KC friends, i miss them :(
29. What are most people’s first impression of you? i’ve been told i’m really intimidating when you first meet me, but once u get to know me you’ll just realize i’m a bit different (i’m NoT lIKe oThER GurLS)
30. What age do you seem according to most people? I get told a lot that i’m an old soul, whatever tf that means, i feel like i’m a living meme
31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? my mattress is on the floor, so plugged in next to my head
32. What word do you say the most? ”listen”, i tend to start sentences with it
33. What’s the oldest age you would date? probs, like, 26? so about 3, 4 years older
34. What’s the youngest age you would date? i’m gonna be 23 this year, so 21 would be my limit. any younger and they feel like a baby to me
35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? what would SUIT me the most? ur asking me about the thing i’ve struggled w most in my life, IDK
36. What’s your favorite music genre? pretty much anything that isn’t stadium country or absolute shrieking is a genre i’m cool with, but i really enjoy post punk revival, like modern baseball (and then of course kpop lololol)
37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? i don’t think i could permanently live anywhere else, i’m too attached to my friends and family
38. What is your current favorite song? Making Breakfast by Twin Peaks
39. How long have you had this blog for? oh goodness, im not sure (i just checked and holy shit i’ve had it since aug 2012, dam)
40. What are you excited for? im not sure, it sounds sad but nothing much right now. i’m kinda just coasting and keeping my head down, which isn’t bad
41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think both, but since i’ve broken out of my shell i tend to do a lot more talking which i’m not super pleased about
42. What is the last productive thing you did? TAXES HELL YEAH MURICA
43. What do you want for Christmas? time, just time
44. What class do you get the best grades in? in high school it was english, college it was design and media classes
45. On a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? a 6 i guess, a bit stressed atm
46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? bruh i aint got the foggiest, i didn’t think i’d make it this far
47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i thought it was 18 bu the first genuine heartbreak was 21
48. At what age do you want to get married? idc as long as it’s before 35 tbh
49. What career did you want to have as a child? i thought it was fun to say a marine biologist lolol
50. What do you crave now? falafel. mmmmmmmmmmm 
this was neat, it was almost like a diary entry lololol, i want to hear more from @captainlokispeople @abbyarrgh @verngyu and @cult-of-time tho of course if you don’t want to or don’t have time then all is well!!
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tenrkarchive · 5 years
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happy #rkfifth ! PT. 1
so, i’ve finally found some time to get around to this! rkfifth is a big thing for me, so i definitely wanted to write something for it!
i first joined rookies back at the very end of 2015 with rkjaehyung. he was a pet shop worker who managed to hit it off with a lot of people really quickly, but sadly he didn’t last long, and was soon replaced by a muse i still hold very close to my heart despite him not surviving long either. that muse was rkhansol/solrk. he was my first dancer muse who, in all honesty, wasn’t very nice to begin with. it took a special friend (rkbyxngjoo) to loosen him up and make him a lot less cold towards people he didn’t know. sadly, having been hit really hard by his first failure after trying to get signed, and rkbjoo’s departure, i let him go, and subsequently took a break from rp for a few months.
when i returned, i came back with rkhyukkie. he was another muse i cherished a lot (which was clear from how many times i brought him back over the years). to this day i still somewhat miss him, and have to stop myself from throwing everything away to bring him back. he started out as a playful, witty, and genuinely surprising (for me) at how he changed from me thinking him up, to him actually interacting with people. he fell in love, but he ended up being dropped too, then brought back a few months later, and once again didn’t last long. i realised there was something off with him, that kept me from finding a comfy way of writing him, to keep him a stable muse, so i left him alone for a while. 
after him, i had multiple muses, i also brought back rkhansol, who was now solrk. he was nicer, having been living life peacefully pursuing dance in the months i hadn’t rped him. he was still in love, and still living in a dingy little apartment though, but this time he managed to snag the boy, and eventually decided he’d rather not be an idol, but simply stick to dancing in other ways, so that he could have a more peaceful life with his boyfriend. 
after this point my memory gets hazy and i know i had rkshiah (who may have been before solrk but im super unsure on this one) for a while somewhere, but she didn’t have as much impact on me as minhyuk and hansol had. 
then comes december 7th of 2016, and this is where something frankly miraculous happened. tenrk was born. i’d been a very casual fan on nct since they debuted in april of that year, but hadn’t gotten truly deep into stanning them. on a whim i thought ‘hey this guys cute, i’ll rp him and see how it goes!’. i had no idea at that time that tenrk would become something so special to me. he started out very different. he was sarcastic, and liked to tease people. he liked sports, and was more creative than charismatic, but after i started stanning irl ten, tenrk became heavily influenced by him (without me even trying). he softened up a lot, and his attention moved away from creativity, and he became less of a cheeky, annoying teen boy, and more of a tender, sweet young man who loved nothing more than dancing and his friends. 
throughout 2017 i had multiple muses, all of whom i cannot remember (i’m so sorry to all of them). none lived long, because beside tenrk, none of them could really stand up to how important he was to me and how much i enjoyed writing him. towards the end of 2017 i had dahyunrk and rkdaniel, but later dropped dahyun and swapped daniel out for rkhyuk.
now, to this day i still adore rkhyuk, who was a more mature, calm version of rkhyukkie. in a way, he was rkhyukkie, but with a few changes in his past. he lasted quite a while, which was rather surprising to me after how rkhyukkie didn’t hold up well, but rkhyuk, sadly, went through multiple heartbreaks in his time here. people he cared about leaving took a toll on him and eventually he became lonely, and being an idol just wasn’t what he wanted anymore. he tried his hand in the mgas, but it only solidified for him how he didn’t care much for performing anymore. whether it was due to the sadness he was battling with, or him just having grown out of his desire to be an idol, i’m still not sure, but i do know i still miss him, and i still want to rework him as a muse and if possible bring him back one day to try and get him that happily ever after he always dreamed of. 
during the time i had rkhyuk lucas debuted, and as adamant as i was about not falling for someone so loud and seemingly heterosexual (lol im sorry down with the hets bois), his soft side quickly showed, and i fell for the tall goofball. yukheirk was born on march 7th 2018. he was one of those muses who seemed to hit it off well with people to begin with (though that died down a lot later on sadly). he was that typical hetero ‘no homo bro’ type guy, which was really just him hiding a deep fear for his suspected bisexuality. 
yukheirk went through a lot in only his first few months here. he dated two girls, kissed na jaemin (sorry donghyuck), had a sexual awakening and feel in love, all before his horrible accident that ended his skating career. he became rkxuxi after adopting the nickname sicheng called him as his official name, since the name he chose for his skating career, lucas, now brought only bad memories. he’s still recovering now, many months after the accident, but now he’s got the boy of his dreams, and is working towards full recovery, and a happier outlook on life. he has some exciting things planned, and a bit of a change of direction in a way, but you’ll just have to wait to see all that!
now, for my newest baby, who honestly, i’ve been neglecting a little (especially since i started working recently it’s taken up a lot of my time). on september 26th 2018, rkguanheng arrived in rookies, who i talked about a lot before actually bringing him in. for a while he was just for fun dm rping, but he seemed so different to my current muses that i felt it would be beneficial to me to bring him in. he’s not as easily pacified as ten and xuxi, and speaks up when someone does something that bothers him. he’s not afraid of ruining budding relationships by speaking up when someone’s done something that upsets him, and that’s what i like about him. ten and xuxi are more likely to grin and bare things in silence, guanheng, however, knows when something isn’t fair.
guanheng is the most focused muse i have - he’s a creative writer. currently not a great dancer (and i don’t think he ever really will be) which is so unlike my muses (i’m such a sucker for dancers). i really like him so far, and am excited to write for him more when i find the time to plot more and get him really going. 
but for now i think that’s the entirety of my history here at rookies. i didn’t really go much into depth on tenrk, but all i really can say is he’s been through so much over the years, and having just passed his two year mark (which i studpidly missed as usual), he’s my longest ever tumblr rp muse. writing for him is almost like writing a journal sometimes, because out of all my muses, he’s the most like me. i put so much of myself into him that i suppose that’s why he’s lasted so long. to lose him would be like losing 2 years of my life. he’s had heartbreaks, emotional rollercoasters, and became one of the first boys in rookies to debut. when i first came to rookies, all those years back in 2015, i never thought i’d be here today, with a muse lasting longer than 2 years, who’s debuted, and had such a long romantic storyline, but, here’s the proof.
this is only part one of my rkfifth post, and since this has gotten so long, i want to stop here and make another post to thank each and every person who has made my time here so amazing. 
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oracles · 5 years
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All of the emojis for the sweet and pure asks
DSJFHFDJKHKFJFFF honestly you’re probably like the only person who cares about what i say on here … thank u .. my savior 💖
(obviously imma put this under a cut .. if it doesn’t work on mobile, i apologize in advance aadhjfdkff since when things are under a cut i tend to write long ass rambling answers)
🐰- do you believe in soul mates?
as an utterly hopeless romantic, i certainly want to. i think because of like … insecurities, self hate and stuff (not to get too deep), it’s a comforting idea to me to like Know that there’s someone out there who doesn’t see me the way i do … but realistically? no. i think you gotta realize that relationships are hard and something you have to work to keep healthy and happy and not as magically problem-solving as soulmate tropes make it out to be. so short answer: realistically no, ideally yes. 
💌- diary or journal?
the one i write in is honestly a mix of both, but i think it’s more of a diary. it’s cathartic to write things out when you don’t wanna talk to someone else about it (or in addition to venting to another person) and for the journal aspect of it, i really like looking back on things i did back in the day. i’ve had a diary/journal hybrid since like 2008-ish? so i love that !
✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?
ooh good question …. there’s a lot! i think i see bits of myself in a lot of characters so there isn’t any One (1) person i relate to the most. shaw from person of interest keeps coming to mind but maybe i’ve just absorbed parts of her, rather than actually being like her so who knows . jessica jones is another one, in some aspects. i think just from those two you can tell the Type of character i not only gravitate towards, but relate to too
💕- are you crushing on someone?
irl? no, i’m not. i have plenty of celebrity crushes though so i can’t even begin to start listing those. honestly most of the celebs i talk about / reblog on here are most likely a crush . to paraphrase an iconic pisces, yeah i’m a love whore and what about it ??? dfjkdhkjff
💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?
both !!!!! but kissing in the dark may be more ideal so i can hide how flustered i probably would be
🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis
💌💣🌙🥀🖤  less of an aesthetic and more so just emojis i like, i feel like
🍼- what is your favorite memory?
oof … this is a really hard question. honestly, i don’t know. there’s a lot of memorable things. i feel like it’s mainly just the lil things – moments that i look back on that don’t seem like much but are really warm and comforting to reminiscence about (sorry, this isn’t really an answer)
🌸- what is your favorite flower?
a more recent fav but i’ve been really interested in diphylleia grayi / skeleton flowers lately. part of me doesn’t even know if they’re like real, but i’ve written a lot about them lately (and ofc listened to the jonghyun song about it) so i’ve had a sort of attachment to them lately. aside from that, i don’t really have a favorite? i think they’re all pretty
💖- have you ever been in love?
a lot dkjfhkjff probably more of a crush / infatuation than anything else in actuality, i suppose, though. platonically in love, however? absolutely
🍰- strawberry or vanilla?
vanilla, hands down
🍯- describe your favorite smell
ironically, vanilla is a big favorite smell of mine. i think i have a pretty sensitive sense of smell so there’s a lot of different things. i also like tea / coffee smells? idk, just stuff like that. which is part of why i enjoy baking, i think
🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?
1) for more wishes … bc im a gremlin
beyond that, i never know what to say for these questions beyond things i obviously want like world peace, ending world hunger, etc etc. like for personal things maybe … like being happy with myself? bc i think my self-image issues hinder me a LOT.
🍪- cookie dough or cookies?
both!!!! i eat the left over cookie dough when i bake but the final product is always really good too. (cookies, if i had to pick one though)
☕- coffee or tea?
tea !!!! don’t really feel like the coffee type of person (aside from enjoying the smell of it)
🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?
a forest with fairies, that sounds absolutely lovely
🍂- what’s your middle name?
it’s my dad’s first name
💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?
gemini sun, pisces moon and leo rising
🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?
stay inside in bed with chai. basically just having a lazy day – reading, watching something, etc etc
🍭- how tall are you?
5′7″, though a part of me likes to hypothesize that if my posture wasn’t absolute SHIT my actual height would be 5′8″ (wishful thinking probably, but my posture is bad though)
💒- which show would you want to live in?
the good place was the first one to come to mind but idk about that … they go through a lot of shit and i for sure would just be in the bad place, without a chance of redemption. to appeal my Babey side ……… can i say winnie the pooh or smth (also, im just blanking out on any decent tv show where the universe isn’t one where i will probably instantly DIE in bc of how inept i am)
🎄- what is your favorite holiday?
i often say christmas for this one actually. not because we really celebrate it or anything, i just like the atmosphere around this time of year usually. mostly bc of childhood memories and how fun it was for me then
🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?
i don’t use any, but probably something vanilla-y so im sure there’s holiday candles that fit my taste
🎶- favorite song right now?
not necessarily a favorite (bc i have a LOT), but im listening to pirate king by ateez right now (thanks winnie)
💘- 3 ways to win your heart?
idk !!!!!!! have a good/similar sense of humor to me, listen to what i have to say (and like ….. don’t make me feel like shit or annoying for bringing up my interests or showing you things i think you’ll like), and uhhhhhh maybe like do cute lil romantic things for me ??? im a sucker for that. esp when people remember lil details about me based off what i’ve just casually said, idk .. it’s bare minimum time i guess. i just can’t fathom anyone Wanting to win my heart in the first place so it’s really easy bc im touch and romance starved
🍩- current mood?
okay ? just kinda here – not really happy but not sad either. neutral. procrastinating
❄️- what is your favorite season?
spring because of my birthday and the weather is decent, i guess. though i’ll also nominate winter
💍- your current relationship status?
what you think? .. DJKHFKF SINGLE of course . when have i ever been anything else
📷- a photo of yourself
absolutely not. though i have posted some before (you can click my name in my description to see this ugly minion mug of mine)
💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?
it’s weird because as a concept, yes i absolutely do but in reality, i will feel guilty and bad if anyone spends money on me at all because i don’t think i’m worth that so in practice, i guess i have to abandon my sugar baby dreams
🕊️- 3 habits you have?
1) keysmashing ? dhfkjffjkf like it’s genuinely so instinctual to me that i have to stop and make myself stop before i type it to locals i know or in emails to my teachers. in a similar realm, is my lowercase aesthetic . if only i could type my essays like this
2) saying and typing ‘like’ a lot. i guess i really AM the valley girl that envi says i sound like ………. tis a sad day. i never really noticed how much i do it till i reread old messages
3) not sitting properly. at school i do it obviously, but at home i most often sit cross legged on chairs or with one leg up or something. gay culture, babey ! the amount of times i’ve been told off for sitting “improperly” or “like a man” .. amazing
and bonus 4) being a dumbass. i just felt the urge to say that. don’t expect me to think or say anything intelligent ever. especially if we’re talking irl because my brain will exit immediately and i won’t be able to put a single coherent sentence together. i sound better online than offline, trust me.
🦄- how do you perceive yourself?
i don’t wanna turn this into oversharing emo o’clock but i’ll summarize it in one word … BAD. gremlin and scum are also fitting words. perhaps i have made points sometimes but that’s just after i go to rent-a-brain-cell ‘ r us . otherwise? complete fool . a clown, if you will . don’t get me started on my looks
🦋- how do you think others perceive you?
this is what i REALLY want to know. i have an irrationally strong desire to just know what people think of me. it’s what gives me a self-identity and a better sense of who i am bc idk !!!!!! is my quietness making me look mean ??? who knows ! just how ugly am i actually ???? someone tell me
🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys
there’s a lot of things and i’m also feeling lazy to list things. but pretty smiles have always been a huge weakness of mine. and perhaps i have an arm kink ….. like not super muscley arms (i.e: body builder types) but kinda toned/defined ones? NUT . (not a necessity ofc, just a bonus)
🍓- one secret about yourself
well it’s not a secret online, but my sexuality i guess? offline, aside from kendra, no one else knows. beyond that, i wish i had something scandalous i could reveal but im genuinely a boring person
🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?
inside im a mess. usually i just like looking at them and going into my Daydream World (patent pending) to fulfill my romantic desires there. outwardly, i don’t do like anything. idk how obvious i am honestly. i don’t interact with them at all, aside from sneaking glances, bc i am scum !!! and also i lack any confidence whatsoever 
💔- the reason behind your last breakup?
never had one, so this is non-applicable :/
💬- what your last text message says?
to summarize, it was just me in the gc talking about a song i listened to a lot that i saw in my spotify top 100 list thing and about how i recently realized the singer/rapper was malaysian
🎥- what show are you currently binging on?
currently, im not really marathoning anything exactly ? i guess the closest would be blackish, but i haven’t watched that in a hot minute. i’m trying to catch up on it though. 
⛅- what is your morning routine?
usually it’s just get up, brush teeth / wash face, and then change into my clothes for the day and then have breakfast 
💗- who do you miss?
who i used to be ……. :( IM KIDDING . ummm idk, no one really? i guess i miss the people i don’t talk to as much anymore, though it’s really my own fault most of the time since im a horrible communicator 
🥀- last time you cried?
oof i don’t really remember …… like i get emo a lot but i don’t exactly full on cry a lot? one semi-recent time i remember crying was when envi sent us this one song in the gc and it was just really pure and romantic and i got in my feelings about it. funny how my crying works ……. i don’t cry a lot but it can be brought on by the weirdest, most random things
🎁- when is your birthday?
may 29th !!!!!
🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?
not really either (since im not scared of ghosts, though i do kinda believe in them. like i don’t NOT believe in them, but im also not gonna fight someone who doesn’t, y’know?) but long story short – i got smacked in the back of the head (like it felt like a hard slap) once and no one was there/did it. must’ve been the ghost in our apartment. i joke a lot about there being one in our place but i wouldn’t be surprised if there was, with the random stuff that happens sometimes (mostly things just falling). again im no huge believer in ghosts, it’s just whatever to me but getting hit in the back of the head like that was definitely WEIRD. bc it honestly felt like how my little brother hits me but it wasn’t him so …….. hm.
💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?
same age or older (not by a lot), probably. being with someone younger makes me feel weird (weirdly, usually with men. like i’ll be more comfortable dating a girl a year younger than me than a guy for example.. for maturity reasons i GUESS). but it depends. if i like someone within a reasonable age range, then i like them. 
🎀- any question you want
you didn’t ask one so n/a (and neither did i in the ask i sent you so rip)
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