#is anyone wanted to ask me more abt this id love u forever

[elekinetic]

What part of the Star Wars sequels was your LEAST favorite and what is the thing you would change first in a rewrite

r3ylo. they so very very very badly dropped the ball with their relationship and their characters, specifically ben. oh my god. and listen listen listen, you had PERFECTLY GOOD LEGENDS CONTENT TO RECYCLE RIGHT THERE. i mean b3n solo is already a hodge podge of ben skywalker (luke's son) and jacen solo, so lets just fucking give him jacen's name and reskin rey as jaina solo, jacen's twin sister.

we give jaina rey's kindness, headstrong leadership, and reservation. we make her a little more jaded bc hello, her twin brother left their family and destroyed their uncle's temple to go become a sith lord. that would make anyone a little pessimistic.

we'd follow jaina, who works as part of the resistance under her mother, leia. standard child of divorce stuff: feels like she'll never live up to the expectations of her mother, longs for freedom outside of the diplomatic role she's been assigned, holds her mother to a higher standard than her dad (is it really an ella nancysglock idea if there aren't themes of strained daughterhood & motherhood?) jacen showed force sensitivity from a young age and got whisked off to train w uncle luke while jaina stayed with her mom and learned the politics. (imagine one of our opening scenes being jaina in full diplomatic getup on one of the republic planets, slipping out of a meeting and pulling off her robes, wiping off her makeup. she's just about to jump a balcony to sneak out when she hears a very familiar older female voice say, "you might as well walk out the front door if you're gonna be so obvious about sneaking out." leia. of course.) the first act of ep 7 finds jaina discovering her force-sensitivity. when she goes to find luke in ep 8 (a la rey), there's the added dynamic of "you never knew me as well as my brother" and luke seeing so much of his sister (and han to an extent) in jaina.

rey + ben's soul-bondy thing would be a twin sense thing for jacen and jaina (like what is vaguely established between luke and leia in the ot). luke + jacen would have even clearer narrative parallels (male twin luke brought to the light, male twin jacen brought to the dark). jacen would be a more sympathetic villain bc jaina's draw toward him and care for him are pre-established, as well as the reason their relationship is strained. we'd spend time throughout the trilogy unpacking their complicated dynamic via those soul bond vision communication things that started between r&b in tlj.

now im sure ur thinking, "but ella, one of the best themes of the sequels (which was terribly mishandled) was that you didn't have to be born into a special family to be a hero, that you can choose your family and make a difference no matter who you are!" to that i say: yes. 100%. which is why we're giving finn & poe actual storylines. the other big theme of the sequels is legacy, right. what does it mean to be a skywalker, a solo? thats why we see rey, a nobody, rise to heroism and take on the skywalker name while ben, who was born into the family, fall from grace and struggle with morality (in theory). i think we can do this better though. lets have jaina and jacen BOTH be born into the skywalker family (bc hey, it is the skywalker saga) and watch them struggle with light and dark. lets take that "dark rey" shit from tlj and push it further. lets see jacen seduced by the dark and pulled toward the light because he still cares about his sister. lets see jaina raised in the light and tempted by the freedom of the dark side.

lets also see jaina and finn choose each other as chosen siblings. lets see finn develop a real dynamic with jacen. (finn is a real protagonist in this as well, im just not talking about his role in the story as much in this post. but trust, he is a huge part of the story.) lets see more of leia & poe's mother/son dynamic. lets push those ben/poe parallels further.

tldr. replacing rey & ben with jaina & jacen solo so they're twins now. obviously no romance. finn & poe get bigger storylines and there are much deeper themes about family, chosen AND blood.

#star wars #star wars (ella's version) #fuck yeah new tag #thank u for asking me this ratt #is anyone wanted to ask me more abt this id love u forever

[faunsoda]

sbi ib au w wilbur as mary is a concept i cannot stop thinking abt, like i haven’t touched ib in years and i was more into smaller dynamics in sbi than sbi as a whole, but it makes me so insane. you’re a genius and i adore that au concept. techno as gary is also so much fun, i rlly liked the whole thing. also the art was SO nice, your style is very neat. if you have any more thoughts abt the au as a whole i’d love to hear them, but if not, just know i love the concept so much

WOOO i hear u, my favorite dynamics within sbi are crimeboys and bedrock bros (it really shows in this au) because i am a huge sucker for sibling dynamics. the remake for ib came out for switch recently so the childhood hyperfixation reawakened like a beast

i have so many thoughts in my brain let me drop these bad boys. infodump time.

my idea of a first meeting between techno and tommy! rather than having his rose stolen like garrys, its tommy stumbling in on techno getting cornered by one of the lady paintings. techno probably wouldve gotten out just fine eventually, maybe lost a few petals but tommy distracts the painting so he can escape unharmed! then theyre like 🤝 team up time

please ignore the shitty ooc dialogue everywhere ive just been getting ideas jotted down in my free time hehe. i imagine the dynamic between techno and wilbur in this au being pretty tense! techno is IMMEDIATELY suspicious/wary of wilbur & wilbur wants to leave with tommy, taking technos place. techno doesnt wanna be too protective of tommy because a) this is some kid he just met what does he care b) he doesnt really have any reason to be suspicious about wilbur because hes done literally nothing wrong so far hes just off so techno doesnt trust him

also philza as guertena means he doesnt show up like at all BUT i really liked the theory from a few years ago that part of marys dislike for garry stemmed from garry resembling guertena and her feeling like she’d been abandoned since i cant really imagine she can grasp the complete concept and weight of death. so i did have techno resemble philza a bit here (eg. emerald and stubble that i keep forgetting to draw-) which will probably be unmentioned in stuff i draw for this au because again philza wont show up much. so yeah ooh possible idea that wilbur might resent techno for that a little bit or just be like kind of annoyed by it. idk man im just sitting here.

i also did the three main endings! promise of reunion and together forever were kinda quick because i did not have time to properly draw and color them :,] but i found a neat brush and wanted to draw the forgotten portrait painting because ow. in my original drawings of this au tommy didnt have a green bandana but i decided to give him one as a stand in for the hankerchief ib carries! after all this ill probably do some redraws of moments from the game or try to reimagine the toy box since wilbur is notably not a child like mary is!

yeah hey that was probably like way more information about this au than anyone couldve wanted but B] if you have any thoughts about this au that differ from mine or if you just have thoughts in general id love to hear em! my brain is rotting. thanks for coming to my ted talk (and thank you for the ask, i am new to tumblr so this is my first ask yippee!!)

#dsmp #dream smp #my artwork #sbi ib au #my asks #dsmp fanart #crime boys #bedrock bros #sleepy boys inc #asks

[chronic-gastro-illness-culture]

can you clarify something in your rules: i'm curious what "pwHPD" stands for. the only thing i can think of is "histrionic personality disorder" which is a highly stigmatized trauma response, primarily affecting survivors of gendered violence. is this what you're referring to or is there something else?

yeah i mean people w histrionic personality disorder

im currently in therapy n recovering from an abusive ex she had hpd n used her pd as an excuse to be abusive bc of her i developed ptsd gerd n ibs bc the chronic traumatic stress she n the relationship put me under

one of the things shed do is fake all kinds of disorders n symptoms n personal crisis for attn or when i needed support from her shed pretend to have smth worse going on so that id have to be the one supporting her while ignoring my own needs

i have these chronic lifetime conditions ima take to my grave all bc i loved the wrong person n yeah i dont want anyone who fakes disorders for attn to interact w me or this blog both from the standpoint of being a person who is actually sick n its shitty when someone treats ur struggles as some fun rp thing or aesthetic or quirky personality trait n also as a person who was abused by a abuser w hpd who weaseled her way into my life by faking a false sense of connection thru pretend disorders she didnt have then turning around n abusing me by forcing me into a caregiver role for her to fix the disorders n illnesses n symptoms n crisis she didnt rlly have

ive deleted all the asks ive gotten abt hpd in my dni bc 1 no one should have to explain their boundaries in order to prove they r worthy of being respected if it makes u uncomfortable bc u think im a bigot oh well ur entitled to feel that way n u know where the unfollow n block button r but i shouldnt have to talk abt my abuse to strangers online like this to prove to ppl i have a valid reason to wanna keep my distance from my triggers 2 i hate talking abt my ex

this blog is abt me connecting w new ppl in a new community it upsets me to know im forever sick bc of her that she forever changed me for the worse but this blog is me tryna change that mindset my ibs n gerd doesnt have to be a scar she left me w it can be a chance to meet new ppl its a new ch of my life i dont wanna talk abt her here i dont wanna give her more time n attn then i already have

i refuse to defend myself or my boundary this is a blog abt stomach problems ill only talk abt stomach problems if ppl wanna talk abt ptsd n stomach problem abuse n stomach problems trauma n stomach problems etc thats fine but im not gonna talk abt my boundaries or why i have them anymore

#sadhoc #dni #abuse mention

[milfketterdam]

hi! i just wanted to know, why is leigh bardugo problematic? (feel free to answer to answer on your blog or send me a message if you'd prefer that!) (its okay if you dont want to answer either :) )

oh you’re totally fine asking here!! this is mostly gonna be focused on gv bc. thats all ive read by her kdsljsf

as much as i love the grishaverse series (like. a whole lot look at my url aksdjd) theres a noticeable difference between the characterisation and worldbuilding for white characters vs characters of colour, and im definitely looking up for rule of wolves considering im 99% sure shes having sensitivity readers for her writing regarding shu han, but even so, novyi zem and shu han have been hugely underdeveloped countries while the white countries (ravka, fjerda, kerch, but not so much the wandering isles lol) have been the focus of the series and have fairly developed cultures and respectable amount of time dedicated to this whereas shu han has had like. evil scientists?? and novyi zem just. doesnt have a culture in the series and is mentioned to have ravkan colonies there in siege and storm i think? my memorys fuzzy on the details and novyi zem was originally supposed to be based on america/australia i think but having your fantasy africa being colonised by the protaganists government and your fantasy asia have super smart and oppressive human experimentation just... isnt that good when thats almost everything shown for those countries. and in the s&b trilogy (i dont remember what book 😭 it mightve been s&s again) had alina and mal dress in suli costumes, imitate their accents, and give people fake fortunes and its shown as this cute funny thing they do when its Very Much Not. plus like. one of the two black women being dead (jespers mom aditi + leoni) and a lot of other more specific things in both the books and the fandom and a lot of other have talked abt it way better than what im saying rn. especially being a white passing latine person sinces latine ppl just. dont exist in the gv (which i am forever bitter abt but el oh el) whereas other races do and ppl of those races have talked about these issues as well and like. im not coming for u for asking me ur so fine but id def recommend reading through zemenipearls’ fandom racism and crit tags (crit is general crit so its not all gv but a solid portion of it is) as she talked a good amount abt it (also shes just a great account to follow in general) and i couldnt find like. a post/tag that would be easy to look through for crit focusing on shu han specifically but the fact that shu han being a country thats the Entirety of Asia kinda treats asian ppl as a monolith when they are very much not (compared to our multiple white countries) and like honestly theres probably more (any of my followers feel free to add anything!!) 

um yeah this is long and im a few days late answering sorry!! but i hope this. makes sense and if anyone wants to correct smn i said im down to edit anything to sound better/include extra stuff or clarify any point i made!!!

#mine:asks #leigh Bardugo #leigh bardugo crit #gv crit #mia tag

[nervousndepressd]

i feel like garbage, idk y i worry abt what other ppl think so much

i feel like u rlly convinced me for so long that i was a horrible person, that everything i did waa malicious

i was a mentally ill child, i was hurt and broken and i didnt understand how to love. u fucked up my brain in a way i still dont understand.

i get over things and i get over u but then i see u again and u kiss me and touch me, u treat me like im always yours yet i dont think i want to be.

i want to feel heard and i want to be safe from u. its so easy to go back and feel like nothings changed but so much has.

i crave ur validation, i dont get it

i feel like u have told ppl that i was horrible and abusive, i feel like u validate urself and escape from what u did to me by telling others a half truth, that they accept bcs u hide behind a vail of who u truly are

ppl see u as this innocent person but they dont know how u gaslit me for years, u diminished my emotions and called me weird for asking for normal things a partner may want.

u still treat me like one day ull marry me, but u act in disgust when i ask for a little bit more of u.

im so tired of it, i want to hurt myself, i want to die

why do u have this control over me, after what u did i should have plastered ur name over the internet and called u out for who u are

i feel like i cant escape it, my one home away from my toxic household is filled w ppl u know, w ppl who u have lied to abt me.

u have always failed to see the ways in which u hurt me

i feel so hopeless i feel like giving up that even if i go to therapy for years my memory will be stained with what u did to me, how i was treated for years and just took it

no matter how hard i tried it wasnt ever enough, so i got tired of trying, even after u assaulted me and i didnt know for months i still tried to stay by u

i didnt have feelings for anyone else i was trying to get out, im still trying to get out

i want to be free from needing u, i want to feel safe and comfortable within my skin

i dont feel like i can ever heal, as much as i continue i still feel scarred and broken

the worse part is is that that feeling is what keeps me going back to u, that because of what u did no one else will ever love me, u constantly told me, u would yell it at me, that no one would be batter than u that no one could love me like u did. but that wasnt love yet i still believe it, that i am not worthy of someone else loving me and i feel like it just gets proven over and over

im annoying and a burden and pushy and weird

that all im good for is being used by men and i should just accept that, i shouldnt rlly try for anything, like fuck i dont even have any real goals

im stuck exactly where i was, i cant get out and id just rather it be over

i wanna do drugs and get drunk and just live up to all the low expectations everyone set for me, even u

u never made me feel like i could amount to anything other than being your little housewife, one that u get to use and belittle and hurt

i wish u wouldnt fucking lie abt it tho, i wish ud just accept what u did, maybe then id actually get through it but that isnt who u are

u want to paint urself in a positive light, u couldnt even accept the small thing u did to me, why would u admit to raping me?

after all u did i still find it so hard to let go of this good guy vision i have of u, that its in the past

everytime i went back to u though it got worse, the things u did the things u said, it feels impossible to break this cycle

that im either going to let this happen till something so horrible happens that vision of u breaks forever in my mind or we stay stuck, for the rest of our lives i stay stuck to u and i do what u say and i follow in your footsteps

but i fear so deeply that itll just devolve, so much that u yelling and u hurting me is just normal

i wanna scream, i wanna cut and i wanna die

im so tired

[aro-aizawa]

ty so much for your response hehe!!

yeah when i was younger ppl would be like, oo who do u have a crush on? and i dont think ive ever had one? sure theres been people i find attractive but id rather have close friends?? (qpr please 🤲) idk what crushes are even like too,,,,,,,, r u just obsessed with them??? want to spend time with them????

when my friend confessed his feelings i just kinda. blank screened. i didnt want to really date someone or anyone? friends was better. so the rejection was. Rip.

idk. in an "ideal future" there would be at least one person i love and we live together. to be best friends -- isnt that what the ideal marriage thing is anyway? but i squirm away from even the concept of dating anyway. for you, what do would u like, ideally?

also.... this is kinda funny but for a while i also id'd as asexual panromantic! currently i like queer bc its so versatile and it sums up so much of my (question marked) feelings towards sexuality and gender lol. ooh and also im getting a diagnosis for adhd !!! (same hat! ) (will the drs ever get in contact after the first questionnaire... *stares off into the distance*)

o)-( idk !! i think ill be experimenting for a while heh

(and im glad u liked the question haha, i hoped it wouldnt be crossing any boundaries)

ALSO with allo fandom reminded bc ur url... i really like fics which are focused on family ties!! when fics are always so focused on a single pairing, it doesnt interest me that much. like just caring abt one person and forgetting ur family/ found family also exists (when good family) is kinda... hm. Hm. Hmmmmm.

thank u again for ur rlly good response!! 🥰🥰🥺🥺💕����💕💕💕💕💕💕

right???? i mean when i was younger i did have “crushes” but honestly, when i look back at them the ones i had in primary school was either a) a popular boy that all the girls had crushes on or b) a guy who i could potentially befriend and he was so cool i wanted to know him. at the time i didn’t even have anyone pestering me about who i liked bc i had One (1) friend at the time who didn’t care what i thought lmao but i told myself i had those crushes bc i wanted to fit in w the rest of the kids.

and yikes that sounds hard. like, honestly i really do not know if someone confessed that they had a crush on me. i’d probably be flattered on some level? but i’d also be HELLA nervous, probably decide that i’ll at least try it but eventually they’d get disheartened because i never initiated anything. (oops that sounds like how my literal one relationship happened that i never count bc we didn’t have a crush on each other at first until my friend told him that i had a crush on him when i didn’t. and he asked me out bc of it.)

honestly that’s a mood??? i feel like that’d be completely ideal, because as much as i love being on my own and i’m pretty independant, financially that’s not stable at all. i’d love to have a QPP that i can just,,, relax with. decide that i’ve had enough of being on my own and need to lay on top of someone like a cat decides to curl up with another cat. wouldn’t want to share a bed tho bc i can never sleep when sharing lol

nice! and hnkk yeah queer is deffo a good label. personally, not for me. i like calling the community the queer community instead of the lgbt+ community because it’s more inclusive that way but personally i feel like if i ever label that myself people will assume that i’m alloromantic because we live in an amatonormative society, but it’s a v good term. lol what are the odds! i’m not currently on track to receive a diagnosis of adhd just yet, it’s smth i was considering officially getting pre-covid times and then doctors are like “medical emergencies only” and so i’m just kind of,,, waiting for covid restrictions to ease before officially getting that diagnosis on the way. but like. on the down low bc even though my cousin got diagnosed w it, i’d feel like i’m attention seeking by telling my family i have it without an official diagnosis. but yeah rip it’s gonna take me forever to get it.

HARD SAME. i am. just so WEAK for family focused fics, they’re just. god i love them so much. it’s just. why does the allure of romance compell people so much when you can read about this gruff adult taking one look at this hurt child and think “time to find those adoption papers”???? like FORGET the shipping. i’m gonna get sucked into the 940th found family fic i’ve read ever.

(tho i do actually like some ship fics, they have to be well written and not involve the characters i headcanon as aromantic though, otherwise i will close out of that fic so fast. an annoyance in the mha fandom when 85% of the fandom views aizawa as gay and married to his best friend,,,, they just love to shoehorn that side note in there when it has no revelence whatsoever,,,)

#anonymous #aromantic #thank YOU for the good response #this time you get me running to my computer to respond #bc my laptop was being slow and laggy whereas my brand new computer could start up in like 40 seconds lol #Anonymous

[combat-wombatus]

uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

or

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p 

#coco answers #nonnie <3

[autistic-victor-frankenstein]

If you are still doing the ask thing: Maybe Victor?

Favourite thing about them: I went on and on abt this before but I love talking about it.. also I'm gonna mention multiple things bc I'm a loser who loves this idiot too much to stay on just one

I think its just how gentle and timid of a guy he comes off,which i don't see people talk abt much. Maybe its just me but he seems to be this very mellow polite guy when he's not worked up. Even walton(though walton has bias) describes how gentle and polite he is,and how he passionately helps Walton out teaching him academics. (Which he also does w Ernest, and tried w eliza he likes to share his knowledge)

And also,again,how passionately invested and fascinated he gets ,even if its his doom i think that more stems from the pressure he recieved and longing to meet the expectations of his family and professors. And sort of overworking himself to prove himself. He seems to have like, a thrist for knowledge and how the world works and that contrasts with a lot of characters who live more in the moment. Hes overall just. Someone I find is oddly relatable? I sympathize with even his flaws,its fascinating to see like,someone who obviously very deeply cares for the people around him,but falls short in his connection with them in favour of his pursuits which may or may not stem from his want of their approval. And acting on emotion in the moment and not realizing til its too late.

Least favourite thing about him:

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH u already know what I'm gonna say. I mentioned it like a post before,but theres that disgusting quote thats specifically in the 1831 version and its burned in my mind "every praise placed upon her i recieved as if to a possession of my own,no words can describe my relation to her,my more then sister,til death she was to be mine only" Its very period typical given its the 1700s and sort of expected granted how much Elizabeth was presented to him by his parents as his sole companion and a "gift". But its like a personal jab in the gut when I see it. And while I don't go by the interpretation that Victor and Elizabeth were truly interested in eachother and he was motivated mainly by fate and Caroline,its still undeniably gross and shows that he does have that misogynistic view that women can be regarded as ur own.

Favourite line: that one where hes contemplating death sort of in regards to Henry ,like "and where is this man now? With all his thoughts and ideas and love? Is he gone forever? No! He consoles his unhappy friend"(not an exact quote my memory isn't that precise rip) but firstly I find it very moving just how he talks abt Henry so caring. And it brings up an interesting thought. When people die,especially those we care about. What happens to all those wonderful thoughts and ideas and personality we know them for? Is their entire being just wiped from existence once they fall into nothing? Or do they live on either in memory and/or by afterlife?

brOTP:

He and his siblings seem to have very good relationships. Other than *that* icky icky line mentioned earlier he seems to have a very good relationship w Elizabeth,(I do NOT see it romantically good) ite mentioned how when Victor had a thirst for knowledge and Elizabeth had this admiration for the simple beauty of things,and this sort of difference brings them closer. They sort of grew up together and literally at one point only really knew eachother,so I imagine they are close and victor trusts to tell her a lot of stuff and vice versa. Ernest was mentioned to be his "star pupil". He likes to share his knowledge w em and he looks up to him for awhile. I think they both share an admiration for things like nature,though i think Victor would ramble Ernests ear off abt how it works. William isn't mentioned much but I reckon victors always there to answer his nagging questions like in the musical

OTP: u already know its Waltonstein and Clervalstein. Talked abt them a lot in two other posts already but- Walton and victor are so similar and lonely and I AaA. And Clerval and Victor have such a starking contrast that works so well and they care.so deeply abt eachother.

nOTP: Elizabeth and Victor. I live in utter ignorant denial everyday of its existence. Easy to make sense of why

Random Headcanon: my favorite headcsnon I've made of him is that he's an excellent artist and doodles to calm himself down,he also taught ernest how to draw.

Song i associate w them: a lot but a new one is Daniel Johnstons Story of An Artist. Im gonna go in more detail when I post my playlist update tho.

Listen up and I'll tell a story

About an artist growing old

Some would try for fame and glory

Others aren't so bold

Everyone and friends and family

Saying, "hey, get a job

Why do you only do that only?

Why are you so odd?"

"We don't really like what you do

We don't think anyone ever will

It's a problem that you have

And this problem's made you ill"

Basically tho I feel like its Victor sort of talking abt himself and how critical his family (in particular Alphonse)seem to be critical of his commitments and interests?

Unpopular Opinion: i don't think he's the one true evil in the story,no one is,and i actually find him loveable and relatable even if he's a tragically flawed character. Which is relatively unpopular on its own but is starting to be otherwise i noticed.

Favourite picture of him:

I like how this doodle came out? Yes he's stimming. Yes I'm projecting.

[ID: A screenshot of a sketch of Victor Frankenstein fidgeting his hands together,he has curly hair ,glasses,and is smiling/End ID]

#long post #SORRY I RAMBLEF A FUCKIGN LOT A #i just have so much to say on this bastard i wanted to get it all out

[b00bconnoisseur]

hey!! sorry this is so late for some reason tumblr was glitched and i couldnt send asks to you. my day was alright, quarantines showed me i need to be more social than i thought fjfjsj. also, for that ask thing you reblogged. 30,31,9, and 23! and how was yr day? -🎶

Aaaaaa hello!!!! And its alright, i think i mightve accidentally turned off my inbox 😬😳

But i feel that jdhshs, yo its so many here now like over a thousand people???

My day was yesterday but yo this is cool hello!!! Ive been wondering if id get to know who u are!!! As for the questions:

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

ALL OF MY ART WITHOUT A DOUBT I CANT LEAVE IT. Like i have art from since i was like 10 and maybe before then and one time it was all gone from me like it was abt to be gone forever and i fr cried cause i didn't want to lose all the drawings i did as a kid. My mom got them back fortunately but yea i jus couldn't leave my drawings no way

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I dont talk abt this with anyone but when i was like 9 or a lil older for a while i was super paranoid, anxious, worried and scared abt everything, i would think bad things abt not jus me but the ppl around me and that scared me and tho im not like that anymore i get reminded of it sometimes and it puts me in a panic of how i was for a bit till i can calm myself down and i just yea i wish none of that happened cause it still messes with me oof not fun

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark rooommmmmm

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Unique hmmm.....do minecraft spiders count???

#mysteriously gay #asks #mutual peeps

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

#take a shot every time i say whew #fully put more effort and time into this than most of my uni projects xx #its super rambly but thats bc its mostly just my direct stream of thought #also super long! and probably still missing things i wanted to say #AND like 3 weeks late fshfjjkdjkfsd #skam #clownfest 2019 #blabbey

[starhaos]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOM !!!!!!!!!! @naarinja @pledisanti @f1ors ++ MORE LOL

where do i even start…. where do i even……. start,, well at the beginning obviously. even tho i was a very cautious teen with online interactions from the get go as soon as we started talking to each other (NEARLY TWO YEARS AGO!!!!) i felt so so comfortable and had so much fun. we say this a lot blah blah but i honestly dont know what took over me to make that gif or to send you an ask when you were bored because.. i didnt do that !!! i wasnt the type of person to send people messages online really but who knows exactly what it was that made you so approachable but to this DAY people constantly mention how approachable and wonderful you are and i feel so genuinely grateful to have been able to meet you and keep talking so much that i became such a close friend of yours. you were my first online friend and you are my strongest online friend… but  i truly believe ((as gross and cheesy this sounds)) that this is the type of friendship where it doesnt matter how far apart we are or how not often we’ve actually been face to face (still waiting for 0 B.P) because i find so much comfort in just knowing youre around somewhere in the abyss and reachable. when i couldnt contact you when i was in kenya etc it was the same feeling of missing you as i had for my irl friends. that was when i really realized how much you meant to me truly and if the internet suddenly crashes and i cant contact you i WILL walk down to california and ignore all the curses its placed upon me. at this point i dont even have many irl friends left and i talk to you more than i talk to them anyways……

I WENT ON A TANGENT anyways i dont even remember how exactly we continued getting closer apart from just from talking LOL but it all felt so easy n fun and exciting talking to you!!!!!!!!!!!!! we agree on most everything except of course snap peas and vanilla ice cream but i can look past that… i feel so happy whenever i talk to you its my nom battery and i need to recharge it.

you are one of the nicest people i know and you deserve so much hapiness and love all the time always forever and every single person who has seen you around or talked to you at least once agrees with me i know because i surveyed them here . i said this like five sentences ago but i dont know how i got so lucky to have you as a friend i really really dont… you are so talented (IN SO MANY THINGS. I KNOW YOU DRAW EVEN IF YOU WONT SHOW ME… IN MAKING GIFS… IN BEING A LEGEND… IN TAKING CARE OF KIDS… IN FUCKING CALCULUS DONT FIGHT ME ON THIS ONE. ALSO MULTITASKING AND GETTING SHIT DONE.. THE AMOUNT OF BLOGS U RUN IS INSANE UR MOTIVATION DUDE..) and i hope someday you can be a kindergarten teacher or something bc then i will enrol every child i know in your class so they know how great you are. that is a promise.

im about to go nuts just thinking about you as a person bc there is so much to love abt u realistically… from your sense of humour to your supportiveness to your taste in music (impeccable) youre the only person ever… if the world had to be inherited by one person id choose you bc you have so much potential and so much to give. this is part of the reason why i felt the need to gift you so many things, because youre always GIVING to people whether through nice messages or gifs or saying you like their music recs or giving music recs ….. i could go on….. and youre rarely receiving and quite frankly thats DUMB and charlie brain said you must do the most extra thing possible which in my dumb neanderthal brain meant like 30 paintings, this message, and one stupid video (by the way if anyone else is reading this you dont get to see it bc its so dumb that only noms brain—who is so used to dumb charlie at this point it wont phase her—can see). and it still doesnt feel like enough!!!!!!!! i feel like i need to send you a billion dollars and every front row ticket to every seventeen concert ever as well as a lifetime supply of oranges. unfortunately that is not possible but you deserve it. OH also the other reason why i felt the need to gift you so many things is because i love you a metric fuckton. i didnt proofread this and its two minutes until go time so i need to get on with it but it all came from the heart. i also feel like i should have organized this better but it all boils down to this: i love you my wonderful orange lady. have a great day. 🚟 ((( ALSO THE LAST DRAWING IS A PRELIMINARY SKETCH I ONLY JUST THOUGHT OF IT LIKE 30 MINS AGO ILL SHOW U WHEN ITS DONE OFC BUT I THOUGHT UD WANT TO SEE IT ))

#star emoji #long post #KNJSDFKJ #happy nom day

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

[cucumbersncheese]

It feels a little guilty to be sad in an environment which isnt that awful, where theres still love even if its conditional to certain extents, it feels guilty to want more and to be off and leave even though theres nowhere i really want to be, even though theres no fun in being alone anyway... i want fun and excitement but im so tired that its hard to keep wanting that. I leave without even saying anything and come back without saying anyrhing, and they always ask why i didnt even mention to anyone where im going but i guess its bc "i didnt want to say,i didnt want to talk, i didnt want to hear" which is such a foolish sentiment. Looking at things and people and feeling just a little bit off, enough that i know that i shouldnt be thinking these awful thoughts but i still AM. Wanting to be something thats enough, wanting to be someone, wanting to be loved but not too loved, wanting to be good, wanting, wanting, wanting- and then collapsing and missing people and feeling a stupid MIGRAINE because ofcourse youd have migraines urghhhhh

Itd be so much better if i missed people without feeling as if theyre gone forever, without feeling replaced and unloved so easily just because they got married or moved away and purposely putting some distance because whenevr i look at you i feel ready to cry, whenever i talk to you i want to talk abt you to someone, whenever i think of you i just want to be small and in your arms again. Why does everyone talk abt kids as if we forget things so easily? If i knew for certain that u were happy, at least then i wouldnt be so miserable.

I look down and im standing on some stone and i can make a small jump and its utterly meaningless. I cant climb that wall bc i could fall and theres boys there. I cant think bc my heas hurts. Its all so meaningless but if i started being down then id stay down and no one would be able to pick me up and i wouldnt let them anyway. I just want to see my aunt and have her hold me and say that she loves me one more time. I just want to be reliable enough so that im useful to my brothers. I just want my mom to be happy and give me a hug again. I just want my uncle to smile at me. I just want my cousins to be happy and safe and sound and to give them comfort always. I just want- want- want- love, always. Always. Always. I just want to be happy and give that happiness. But instead my head hurts and i hate mining and industry.

#vent

[furryowo]

tag game :)

tagged by @s-lay-ing!!!! asdjbakjbdsa tbh im kinda wanting to do all three games hehe lets do it 

(under cut btw its long)

Game number 1:

APPEARANCE: uh im RLLY short (4 ft 11 in rip) w shoulder length black hair, glasses n braces!!! N idk i have kind of a roundish face

PERSONALITY: daskdjhakjsn ughgugh uh im rlly shy w strangers? n i have no ability to make any decisions by myself n while im scared of talking to new ppl i get rlly fucking loud anyways idk its weird i talk a lot

ABILITY: uh i play viola n piano idk if im good but i play

HOBBIES: listening to music n watching cooking vids,,,, yes

RELATIONSHIPS: i don’t have one rn

RANDOM STUFF: i rlly wanna learn how to play guitar!!!!! n jbakjdbsa i signed up for english online n i still haven’t got an email im stress

Game number 2:

Nicknames: qiao gave me the nickname cookie but that’s it!

Gender: female

Star sign: taurus

Height: kjakdjabsn 4 ft 11 in (~149 cm)

Time: 08:10 pm

Birthday: may 11th!

Favorite Groups: seventeen is my main fave!!!

Favorite Solo Artists: me? still in love w utaites? more likely then u thin

Song stuck in my head: falling asleep again by gfriend

Last movie I watched: moana

Last show I watched: mixnine !

When did I create this blog: uhuhuhuh february 2016 i think

What do I post: reblogs of kpop, text posts, aes, n animals!

Last thing I googled: boxer beagle mix

Do I have any other blogs: lmao no

Do I get asks: yea! sometimes, my mutual r angels

Why I chose my url: my friend did bc my old one was ugly haha

Following: uhhh 431 haha

Average hours of sleep: 5 to 8 hours???? usually

Lucky Number: 19!!!!!!

Instruments: viola n piano!!!!!! :D

What am I wearing: pyjamas hehe

Dream job: florist wld b ideal but haha not getting that job

Dream trip: europe!!!!! pls n japan n korea n china n quebec n yes

Favorite food: cannolis!!! nom

Nationality: filipino born in america

Favorite song right now: heart shaker by twice is honestly the cutest song i cry

Game number 3:

Name: colleen :)

Gender: female

Star sign: taurus

Height: close to hell (4 ft 11 in)

What’s your middle name?: my moms maiden name!

Put your music library on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up?

chuck - seventeen

who - seventeen (performance unit)

my i - seventeen (jun + minghao)

library - radwimps

council of war - radwimps

katawaredoki – radwimps

(i swear there’s more than seventeen n kimi no na wa,,,, it just didn’t show up)

Grab a book nearest you and turn to page 23. What is line 17?: “- to come from a-“ (the original illustrated sherlock holmes - arthur conan doyle

Ever had a poem or song written about you?: idk my guy not that i kno of???

When was the last time you played air guitar?: hmmm idk

Who is your celebrity crush?: gfriend’s umji!!!!!!!!!!

What is a sound you hate? Love?: if u bring velcro anywhere near me i will cut ur hands off o m g i hate velcro like once it took forever to sleep bc there was velcro on my blanket n the thought of it being that close was hella uncomfortable i cry just thinking abt velcro i hate

hmmmmmmm i love love love cooking asmr it helps me sleep its actually the best thing !!!!!

Do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?: yes i crave death im too paranoid

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?: idk how to drive haha

Do you like the smell of gasoline?: its not bad yea ig i do

What was the last movie you saw?: moana i think

What’s the worst injury you’ve had: hnnnnggg idk my guy

Do you have any obsessions right now?: bts outcast (it ended im so confused kdjbkjkjsz) n twice’s heart shaker

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?: kashdkja maybe a bit

Are you in a relationship?: hahaha no

woo!!! i finished!!!! it was rlly fun hehe!!! not tagging anyone tho but if u wanna go ahead!!!! lmao id b surprised if u actually read down to here hehe have a good day yall ily!!!!!

#⭐

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

#dont feel like u gotta read this im just yelling 2 the void djkfhsjdhf #its rly long nd a lot of text but i wanted 2 write something nd it got sorta out of hand #i say 2k later kdjhfsjhfkjsd #long post / #IM SO SORRY IF UR ON MOBILE AND THE READ MORE DOESNT WORK #lu.txt #for those who are wondering why its real ass emobebe hours its bc its my 1 year stanning mx and im a Giant Sap #now im gonna shut up and not talk for the rest of the year ://