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borisbubbles · 4 years

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32. AUSTRALIA

Montaigne - “Don’t break me”

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🤡 KLOUN 🤡 🤡 KLOUN 🤡 🤡 I MOU KLOUN 🤡

HA HA HA HA -- Afrodyti Fryda -- Jessica Charro

Normally I wouldn’t be ranking Montaigne this low, actually :o I do feel like there is *some* potential to be had from her entry and it could’ve been reached greatness in Rotterdam, but since ESC has been cancelled, we’re going to see none of it. So, all I have to go by is the live AD version I just posted, which... I lowkey dislike? Let’s dissect this sucker.

Song Analysis

Every once in a while, we get that sort of avant garde-esque entry where I’m like “Okay, I get what you’re doing and I like the idea but the execution, babe. It just ain’t there.” I think “Don’t break me” might be the new textbook example of that archetype? I know some media love portraying “Don’t break me” as... what was the Wiwi headline again?

The problem is, it don’t add up.

Like, what exactly is alternative about this entry? Not the music, despite the statements claiming otherwise. Montaigne wrote this song together with established “indie” songwriters DNA, hits of other ’indie’ miracles “Don’t come easy”, “Tonight again” and “#WeGotLove”. “Don’t break me” is equally indie, that is to say, not indie at all and blatantly mainstream. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, (DBM is hands down the best song DNA have produced for ESC) but don’t sling LIES at me.

Secondly, the staging, we need to address the staging, hunties cuz boy it ain’t holdin’ up. (lol I’m merely channelling Wiwi Adams because that’s what the spirits whisper to me - that is to say, pink gin & tonic). There are some *conceptual* strong points to me, clearly spliced in to fabricate some perception of free artistry, but the execution of it is lacking. In lay man’s terms: IT’S SO FUCKING INCOMPETENT OMG I should stan... but don’t because, well.

Et tu quoque, Sennek?

Montaigne herself said she styled her marionette-frock after mr Mime (Mimes aren’t marionettes? Am I missing something?), but it’s Not Very Effective when your style is more inline with Grundel Toad. YES, One Shot Camera Angle, yes super artsy and creative were it not for the fact that Trijnwreck Oosterhuis already pioneered this and it came off similarly feeble.

I however am not *that* offended by “Don’t break me” or its act as many others appear to be though. Again, the song is decent and it’s mostly brought down by a lack of performing experience on Montaigne’s behalf. While not good, it’s salvageable at the very least.

However, I’m more annoyed that this (decent) mainstream song is being sold as innovative and mold-breaking, neither of which it actually is. This is the root of the problem imo. The utter denial of "Don’t break me’s” own mainstreamness and the desperation to prove the opposite.

And honestly, this even applies to Montaigne herself? Her appearance, creative decision making and hell, even her own social media posts read a bit too much “How To Be Different For Dummies.” to really make it believable. ”I AM ALTERNATIVE. HERE’S MY PORTFOLIO OF UNCONVENTIONAL HAIR COLOURS AND UNIBROW STYLES TO PROVE MY POINT SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO TALK TO ME. WANNA SEE MY ARMPIT HAIR? I JHERI-CURLED IT YESTERDAY.” Her brand of off-beatness feels shallow and uninspired because it is. She being conformist with regards to her own nonconformity and that makes her a bigger slave to societal norm than you and I.

NF Corner

Lol this was not a great Aus Decides. Sadly the standard wasn’t nearly as high as it had been last year. I cheered *FOR* Montaigne at the time, that’s how bad it was. There were several *atrocious, easily last in this ranking had they won”-entries she needed to slay (DIE JACK! DIE MITCH! DIE CASEY!) and she did. A pity my interest very quickly evaporated, but oh well, such is life. Fortunately there were a few... decent-ish entries that I’d like to share. Don’t hold you breath, though - this selection had no Electric Fieldses.

Vanessa Amorosi - “Lessons of Love”

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“Lessons of love” almost completely passed me in studio - I liked it mostly because “Absolutely everybody” was a BOP and I was edging for a good performance, which... Vanessa delivered honestly. CRAWLING OUT OF A CAR CRASH <3 The one-woman vocal bidding war she engages in once the first chorus hits. The rainy drizzle <3 The song’s merely adequate but Vanessa’s affect and the staging are enough for me. A ballad that in fact isn’t boring and provides a host of tiny little gems I can cling onto for three minutes, what a treat!

Now I’m mentioning ballads, (um, this is about Aus Decides 2020; of course ballads are being mentioned), this one was pretty good too.

Didirri - “Raw Stuff”

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“Raw stuff”, like Vanessa’s song, completely passed me by in studio version (except, I didn’t even bother simulating appreciation here - disheveled, homely men aren’t my thing, cf.: Salvador). “Oh a stripped down power ballad with personal meaning” well am I ever not interested?

And then the live disarmed me, lol. I have NO idea why but it just clicked for me. iDidirri managed to give it certain sincerity, a certain pathos that I could empathize with and the staging (which was highkey good - Non-boring piano ballads! The Concept!) provided me with enough sustenance. I also firmly believe that had “Raw stuff” made it to an actual ESC stage, it could’ve won the whole thing - it has that Salvadorian quality, minus the pretence. Alex Callier quaking in his boots rn.

But anyway, the ONE song everybody and their dog loved was of course also a fave of mine. It is, of course,

Jaguar Jonze - “Rabbit hole”

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CHASE ME IN TO DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

From pretty much second one Jaguar IMMEDIATELY unleashed her inner psychotic weirdo self, flailed her body around on designer furniture (dislocating her shoulder!!! what a trooper), LITERALLY tore down the walls around her and snagged every wig in the audience. SHE’S A JAGUAR, A MARE, A GAZZELLE

*THIS* how you indie. Not Mundaigne’s safer-than-seclusion puppetfest. You inject genuine personality quirks into your song and performance, don’t give *a single* fuck about what other people think. And like any good indie song, you aren’t rewarded for your nonconformist attitude by “professional” juries. 😁

and now she has coronavirus! STAY STRONG GIRL :( (lol she streamed a jam sessions a few days back, I’m fairly certain she well) WLU!

Australia 2020 & Australia 2021

“Don’t break me” is one of those entries where qualification *entirely* depends on how good or bad the live was. Usually you can tell whether X will (not) qualify UNLESS their live is much worse than expected (or better if they’re a projected NQ). This does not apply to Montaigne; The “Don’t break me” we saw at Aus Decides definitely *would* have NQ’d, but who knows about the modified, improved version. It could’ve Katherine’d itself, it could’ve Sennek’d itself, it could’ve KMH’d itself. Who the f knows and I ain’t gonna spec on it. What I do know is that the subpar singing and dancing would not be present in the final product because, you know, rehearsals. The real hurdle for “Don’t break me” was something different: namely Montaigne herself and her compulsion to break the mold by not breaking it at all. All the decisions w/r/t the staging and styling can be traced down to her and these decisions suck because they are being made for the wrong reasons. Like, you don’t *NEED* tryhard symbolism when your (actually pretty goodish) song already possesses good and transparent lyrics. It’s okay to be MAINSTREAM, Montaigne, it is OKAY to be Mundaigne. Don’t let your ego get in your way. LOVE YOURSELF, sweet Jessica and BE YOU!!! For all our sakes...

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

Australia deserves a few senheads, I think. Not many because, yep, a whole NF with self-composed songs and they STILL went for the ballad that had a DNA co-writing credit. SIGH. However, I do believe the *funk* of Montaigne’s ordinary uniqueness, and how it bled into mainstream indie song, is kind of a Freaky! thing (it’s similar to how Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”, a song about irony, contains zero examples of actual irony - which ironically enough makes it one of the most ironic songs ever penned), if a severely diluted one. Oh well, beggars cannot be choosers, I guess.

Score: 1 Senhits out of 5.

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2020 #Eurovision Song Contest #Australia #Montaigne #Don't Break Me

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atimefordragons · 4 years

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A bitch (me) is thirsty! || BotD

☾♔; May 3, 2020 ☾♔; 10:11pm ☾♔; sotd: Ceremony Commences (Bleach OST) ☾♔; cotd: Mumen Rider! ☾♔; Breath of the Dragon ☾♔; Funsies Set

☆──════ ⋆ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋆ ════──☆

【𝕀ℕ𝕊ℙ𝕆 ℂℝ𝔼𝔻】@/maybones, @/ayzrules, & @/vampirkaninchen

☆──════ ⋆ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋆ ════──☆

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞: Having rewatched bleach, I have come to the conclusion that something went wrong with me at some point during puberty. 'Cause apart from Shahrukh Khan, who is the exception, I didn't have this older man, who may or may not also be a villain ... let's call it an attraction, thing when I was a kid. I definitely DID NOT thirst for Aizen or Ryuuken as a kid. Yet here I am at 24 thirsting for both. WTF? Why even Aizen brain? He's a psychopath, for reals. Stupid hoe ass clara.

Speaking of childhood, lol at everyone mad about NaruHina and IchiHime becoming canon, they were my ships as a kid, so I may not be satisfied with how they were told, but I'm still happy they're canon. Suckers.

☆──════ ⋆ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋆ ════──☆

Anyway, lolz, this set is chaotic and ugly, but at least it accidentally represents my chaotic brain as I try to figure out what I wanna do for this group. I already have 6 characters in mind, and yes, most of them are based on bleach, back off. I just finished watching it, so it's about 75% of my personality rn.

Rhaella - Fire dragon, the first born of a noble family, dragon obsessed. Would've killed someone if she wasn't revealed to have the mark - that is NOT a joke. Pretty elitist, considers dragons and riders better than everyone else, Raheia is the greatest, bow before the empress!!! Honestly, she's kind insufferable, gotta dig beneath her 20 levels of "I AM A DRAGON" to find the stuff that cares about right and wrong and other people.

Toshiro - Ice dragon, special boi. Probs gonna have to iron out the kinks, but I wanna include that thing of where he dreamed about his ice dragon since he was a lil bby and accidentally kept freezing his granny. Probs had a cool mentor that helped him out. A commoner. Was a shortie for a long time, tol now, but people still have a habit of giving him candy and treats. Still sensitive about that. Acts all calm and collected, but kinda short tempered. Is a DORK. ---> Granny ---> Adoptive(ish - more just grew up together as poorsies) older sister(not a dragon) ---> Mentor

Kakashi - Lightning dragon, you can't say lightning and not make me think of my OG hubs! Huh, maybe I did have an older man kink-ATTRACTION since I was a kid. But I still maintain that SRK and Kakashi are outliers. Like who did 8 year old plan to crush on in Naruto? Sasuke? She did, but that was stupid. Anyway, my idea for him is to be like an ex-royal guard, he defected and now is a wanted bad guy (but with a goodish reason), idk. Maybe I'll scrap him, but like, I want.

Kensei - Earth dragon, big beefy good boy. Tries to act tough and cool, and above it all, but is sweet as shit. Doesn't know how to make kids stop crying, has a scary smile that hurts his feelings.

Shuuhei - Wind dragon, was saved by Kensei as a kid, and adopted him as his d̶a̶d̶ older brother (lolz, no, as his dad, but like there's not that much of a difference in age). Also a fucking dork. Tries to look cool with a bad boy image, can't flirt for shit. Blushes when someone says anything nice to him.

Shizuri - Fire or water dragon, I'm leaning towards water for personality dissonance. Hot headed shortie that bosses kensei and shuuhei around (she be the mom in their nuclear lil fam), causes a lot of trouble, which kensei bails her out of, but she always says it's the opposite.

Rhae and Shiro are my faves though, I might end up making all of them, but those will be my main, plus they got that whole fire and ice dynamic going. I a hoe for, well lots of things, but also that.

#urstyle #high fashion layout #mine #breath of the dragon #concepts #wip #rhaella vellorys #toshiro seo #zoya karatsova #ruri kirigakure #ryuuken hanamiya #shizuri sakurauchi #shuuzo kariya #towa mayuzumi

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imax701 · 4 years

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Some trans-ish reflections

Today I have been thinking that perhaps the more important question isn't whether or not I want to be a boy. I think I've known for a long time that I wish I were a boy, a man and it's an unfortunate accident that I was a girl. So perhaps the more important question(s) for me to think about is whether or not I am happy as a woman. Do I feel happy when people treat and interpret me as a woman? Are my issues with being a woman issue with sexism and not with my gender presentation. I think here are the problems that I have being a woman as it relates to sexism 1. People thinking that I am not strong/capable of doing physical things. That may just be because I am small and my arms are the size of spaghetti noodles but that don't do that to scrawny men! 2. Unwanted touching at work. I don't mind the flirting and I actually haven't been touched that much, but that's something that is a bother for sure. 3. Not wanting me on their sports team because I am a girl and average or slightly above average depending on the sport. Yeah I think that's all that really bothers me and number 2 is pretty recent. I don't really think people talk down to me that much because I'm really confident and good at holding my own. So when people treat me like a 'woman'? and do I like that? 1. When people use "she/her" daughter, girl, woman, female in reference to me.--mostly don't like. 2. When men see me as flirtatious because I have my mind in the gutter.Or dance with me sexually from behind.-- Like 3. When they tell me where 'my' bathroom is. Generally HAVING to use the women's bathroom. -Do not like. 4. When little girls, especially my young relative --like Leila and Bubbles-- point to my body especially my chest and look at their own or point to their own. ---No feeling other than caregiving amusement. Goodish? 5. Wearing "women's clothing". When mom buys them for me, or I have to wear Sharmane's swimsuit. -- I do not like. I can wear women's clothing sometimes, especially when clubbing I want to look sexy. 6. Periods. Fuck periods but everyone with a uterus feels that way I think. 7. When I'm joking with strangers about being a daughter, so somehow my being a woman becomes relevant to our conversations.-- I don't like this but I like talking to people and being able to relate to them like this. I feel deceitful though. 8. When I am talking about sexism or feminism with someone most of the time and I feel people especially see and treat me as women if I have to cite my own experiences with that problems.-- I don't mind it but I don't feel like I need to in order to prove my point it just most people won't listen unless you say this is something that I've experienced. 9. When I have to put down my sex or gender on a form and there is no 'other' option or I don't think i can (for safety or relevancy) put down anything other than 'female'. Those are all the times I can think of right now. After all this, do I like being a woman? I think generally I'm ok with it but I don't really enjoy it. I would rather be a man...I generally don't like it when people see me as a woman. I've got a binder. I wear and enjoy wearing men's clothing. I don't think I'm a very good man or a trans man. But that's just it...I need to actually accept it. I think I am a trans man and I want testosterone. Or at least I am a trans-ish man-ish who wants to try taking testosterone. If I like it and the changes it makes to my body and way I'm interpreted in the world then maybe I'll grow into a full trans man.

For anyone on Tumblr reading this, perhaps you're going through similar serious self-doubt and confusion. Its hard. I know all these positivity and self-acceptance things are true but its also hard to believe if I’m not sure I’m trans. I know there is nothing that belongs exclusively to “men” or “women” these binaries and what they encompass are socially constructed. But I want to be seen as a Black man and that’s multiple scripts and constructed mazes that I have to move through and use to my advantage. This is honestly where I am at with myself, this isn’t about anyone else nor is it for anyone else. This is just where I am in my thoughts about myself and in my gender journey. Thank you to anyone who did bother to read all of this bullshit.

#trans stuff #trans struggles #text post #personal #lgbtqia+

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britishsass · 2 years

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Raz: What do you think? Hollis: It's… well… good …ish. Lili: Yeah… goodish. Raz: Ok! What else should we do? Hollis: Take a break? Raz: Yeah… I haven't checked on Mom and Dad or Sasha and Milla.

Oh boy. Hopefully no one's hurt.

#anon #ask response #Cruise Conundrum

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richmegavideo · 5 years

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Ryan from 'The Office' Was TV’s Best Villain Ever

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

What do we enjoy about villains? Or more accurately, what is it that makes us enjoy villains? Usually, if a villain is presented to us, fully formed and ready to kill or betray or do villainous stuff with a cackle, we aren’t going to be transfixed by their character. Lex Luther, for example: In almost every context we consume Lex Luther, he is already bald and already hellbent on destroying Superman. Boring.

No, with villains, we like a slow-burn from goodish to evil. Or a chaotic descent. We like to see elements of ourselves, ounces of humanity that can be severed and burnt and spat on so the not-yet-evil character becomes the nefarious soul the plot needs right in front of our eyes. That way, they become three-dimensional and to a degree, relatable. That’s exactly why Walter White has a place amongst televillan greats. He arrived a loving father; innocent school teacher; green-shirt and tan chinos wearer. Then, on account of the screaming cancer inside him and the financial burden associated with that, he became Heisenberg. Then Heisenberg became Walter White and vice versa and we all collectively lost our shit.

But Walter White almost became too villainous and powerful by the end of Breaking Bad, and as such, felt closer to comic book villain than flawed man. For me, what really makes a compelling evil character, is one who blends in amongst good people, seemingly no different, and yet never outwardly displays any sort of behavior that can be considered altruistic.

This is why The Office’s Ryan Howard is television’s best villain ever.

Ryan Howard (B.J. Novak) appears in The Office pilot an innocent boy, fresh out of college and ready to take on the professional world. For a year or two he stumbles around, generally meaning generally well-ish, inadvertently striking up a romance with Mindy Kaling’s Kelly. He’s not a great boyfriend. He doesn’t particularly enjoy Kelly and he lets her know that. But is he a villain at this point? Hardly, maybe just more the guy your mom warned you about. But a villain, no chance.

Then he burns down the office. And look: burning down the office doesn’t ignite something in him. He doesn’t get a taste and burn down every office space in Scranton, insisting people call him The Arsonist. That, my friend, is Basic Bitch Villainy. No, the fire incident simply leaves a chip on his shoulder. He’s now branded as a doofus, a fool, the office jester. Which he doesn’t like.

Then, after a few twists and turns, he’s promoted to Dunder Mifflin’s corporate office in season 4. This is when he gets the prowess he needs to take the next step in his character arc. He carries this newfound authority with pride, undermining anyone who dares speak to him, especially those in his former office. He strikes up a feud with Jim for no reason other than the fact Jim is lazy and perhaps in the same league, maybe even the one above, in terms of attractiveness. (This is a good reason to begin a feud with someone.) Kelly? She’s history. He broke up with her the second he got the promotion (when he dumps her he does this thing where he looks at the camera for literally a split second and in my opinion, this camera stare is actually better than Jim’s but that’s a different argument for a different day.)

Continuing this arc, Ryan would admittedly be no better than another seven out of ten villain. Funny, but obvious; simply a mean boss with vested interest in making people’s lives not as good as they could be. But a year later, Ryan is arrested for fraud and he is demoted back to being a temp.

But the thing is: His ego doesn’t fall with him. Ryan’s scandal would cause any sane person to fall into themselves, a shell of what they once were, reminiscing about the good ol’ days (only when alone to avoid getting visibly upset in public). Not Ryan. He gets even more confident after his scandal, carrying around his criminal conviction and goatee with pride.

I feel sorry for anyone who’s favorite character is Michael or Jim or Pam because whilst funny and objectively good, as individuals, their shtick can become slightly dull. Every moment we see Ryan take the center stage he blows the audience away. For example:

i) He pretends to be Kelly’s supervisor, lambasting her unrelentingly so the new boss (Will Ferrell) doesn’t discover he hasn’t actually had a job for years.

ii) He gives a baby who’s barely 6-months-old and allergic to strawberries a strawberry so he can speak to Kelly who was previously occupied with looking after the baby.

iii) He scams Pam out of $50 for her wedding present.

iv) He conspires with Dwight to get Jim fired.

v) He ignores Michael’s love, repeatedly, only ever using it for his own gain.

vi) He—and this is undoubtedly Ryan’s best in his oeuvre of bad guy moments—returns from his corporate calamity to find Kelly in a relationship with Daryl. After a few thrusts of pseudo-masculinity, he has Kelly emotionally lassoed to the point where he can control her. Then he, off camera, types out a text for Kelly intended for Daryl essentially saying we’re over and gets her to send it.

Which is funny and pathetically evil enough alone. But after that, obsessed with the means and not the end, Ryan instantly realizes he’s made a mistake. So he, unexpectedly, but very characteristically, announces he is going Thailand and thus needs to break up with Kelly. He also asks if he can have whatever she has in her savings and she obliges. And he says they should be adults and have sex one more time. She, again, obliges. It later turns out he actually went to Fort Lauderdale.

Every moment with Ryan as the focus is filled with a sordid richness that is just so clever and smart and well thought-out it’s genuinely one of the most enjoyable aspects of the show.

After his fall from grace, Ryan displays a more subtle, nuanced evil. The thing is: He hadn’t actually achieved anything in New York—he crashed and burned. But he comes back to Scranton somehow more confident, more entitled, more up himself, treating literally everyone as lesser and not worthy of his respect.

Like a lot of the now-bald (and rich) assholes that you went to high school with, Ryan is Machiavellianism at its best. Although he doesn’t commit much traditionally villain behavior—killing, blowing up cities, taking over the world—you know, if the situation played the right notes and his selfish tendencies were stroked a certain way, he would. He’d look literally anyone in the eye, tell them they look nice and then stab them in the chest without breaking eye contact for a second, simply waiting for their sense of being to float away.

This is the Ryan we’re sold; this is the Ryan I believe in. As a villain, his untapped potential, seemingly bottomless self-interest bubbling beneath the surface, is ultimately much more enjoyable than Mr. Burns or Walter White or Dexter or any other famous villain. This is because at the core he is painfully mediocre and despite how very bad and deceitful and up for chincary he is, he ultimately never achieves more than a low-tier position at a distinctly lackluster paper company.

Ryan Howard is the best ever villain because he arrives fairly nice and then becomes something larger and sinister. He’s the best villain ever because he’s an amplified version of that guy you work with who got promoted despite being very shitty. He is the best ever villain because, like you and I, he spends 60 percent of his life in an office frying under artificial light. He isn’t actually smart or clever enough to be exactly what he intends to be, but he tries, and it is funny to watch.

Follow Kieron Passaway on Twitter.

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#Hip Hop

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