#it's just. ugh. why can't I be like that

[running-in-the-dark]

it really sucks to just feel so much love when there's just. nothing you can do about it

#like it's. yeah I'm angry yeah I'm sad but most of all I just. love people and things and #what do I do about that #I'm stuck inside my own head and it feels impossible to change it #so I constantly feel like I'm about to explode because where the fuck is it all supposed to go #I was supposed to be a social person I was supposed to be someone who enjoys being around people and meeting people and talking to people #I want it more than anything but. it's just. the hardest thing on earth #that's not fair. #and I guess this sounds so vague that it could be about. all the stupid crushes I've had on fictional people but it's not. l mean yeah #that too but. that part is just stupid. it wouldn't make a difference if they were real because I'd still be just as useless. #it's just. ugh. why can't I be like that #i need to stop having thoughts while I'm falling asleep i sound so emo oh my god

[kittyandco]

does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do

#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them #i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard #it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him #no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me! #i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved #they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows #i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that #no one does #and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER #he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh #hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him #anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now #self ship

[front-facing-pokemon]

#thievul #YAAAAAAY I LOVE THE VILLAIN #ugh. such a good pokémon design. top to bottom #i wish it was actually any good. in-game. i had one that i tried to use for the whole game but he was just so bad #he was not strong at all he got so out-classed #and the dubwool that i had. i loved wooloo quite a lot but they're early route pokémon so they're just!!! not good!!!! #why can't thievul be like lokix

[liaprime]

I finally made a Marr clone (¬‿¬ )

#swtor #darth marr #couldn't decide on a name for a long time #but i like this one hehe #why yes i do think i'm funny #can't wait till he finishes his story ;D #but i HATE how this armour dyes ugh #tried my best with different dyes on the individual parts #but ugh some parts just don't dye at all

[originalcontent]

I can't find art of my ship anywhere so I GUESS that means I have to make it myself, here are some doodles.

#ugh i can't believe i have to make my own shipping fanart #tfw you're complaining to your sister that you can't find any content of them but then you remember you have the power #man i do not know how to draw kissing or hugging or any of that romantic stuff #mostly i just know how to put paragraphs of dialogue in between two talking heads #but this seems to be something of a rarepair even though they are obsessed with each other so i suppose i gotta try #karlach #lae'zel #shipping #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #karlzel #i think that's the ship name but i have found so little of them that i'm genuinely not sure #laelach #(just in case) #but come on they're perfect! they're sunshine/raincloud! dog energy/cat energy! tall/small! hot and cold! canonically into each other! #character who represses sadness and character who doesn't understand happiness! pretty girls who can both bench press each other! #considering what their banter looks like i don't get how this isn't a more popular pairing. who else does karlach wistfully sigh over? #my sister tells me that lae'zel is not well-liked by the wider fandom and that that may be why (so sorry if other people have bad taste) #or maybe people don't often put the barbarian and the fighter together in the same party at the same time #anyway now that you're 100% convinced feel free to draw them making out so that i don't have to k thx <3

[collieii]

i'm sure it's been said but i do love how trimax handles wolfwoods death. i've seen so many stories that have characters die and they just go away after. i'm really used to stories where the other characters aren't allowed to grieve, the story keeps going and it feels like the other characters aren't really affected or get over it really easily. but in trimax wolfwoods death is so important. we see other characters grieving him. vash protecting the orphanage, expanding his power when he really shouldn't, because it was wolfwood's home, even though wolfwood is already gone. he gets an actual burial. vash and livio eating their way through the grief, which is more comedic but still shows us how important he was to the two of them, sets up how in many ways they're fighting in his memory.

even after he's gone he's still present in the story in such a strong way. we can see how he's affected the other characters, even when they don't explicitly mention him it's obvious that they're thinking about him. what he did when he was alive, and his death itself, are so important to the story even after he's not there. not just in a really abstract "this is someone we lost" way (though there are a lot of times his death and sacrifice motivate vash and livio to fight harder!) he's present in the finale in a material way to livio, who uses his serums to help fight against elendira, which ofc also ties into the way wolfwoods choice to ally with vash and fight against knives gave livio strength to do the same. wolfwood showed him that there are things worth fighting for, things worth protecting. that your body is a weapon, but you can choose what to do with it, use it for something meaningful.

and the way vash kills legato in order to save livio? vash outright says that he did it to protect what wolfwood fought for, sacrificed his life for. it's tied to the ongoing arc between vash and wolfwood, their conflict over the necessity of killing others. wolfwood pushed vash into having an understanding of his views when he was alive, demonstrating the necessity of that violence. simultaneously, vash inspired wolfwood to follow his path, a kinder one. vash remembers what wolfwood said to him, and his death gives those words added poignancy. wolfwood well and truly sacrificed everything to protect what he loved and fight for what he believed in. how can vash let that go to waste? he sacrifices something just as meaningful to himself, and he pulls the trigger. it brings him closer to wolfwood in a way he never was before. he understands now, fundamentally, what motivates people, motivated wolfwood, to act as he did when he took lives. there are so many other ways wolfwood is present in the story after his death i can't talk about all of them but it makes me so crazy

#trigun #trigun maximum #nicholas d. wolfwood #not to say that there aren't lots of stories that handle character death well bc there are! #i am by no means an expert in media but in my experience esp with like #action anime in particular it can be p common for important characters to die and then their death is just not processed at all #i know that stories have to keep things moving but it feels so weird when characters don't grieve or even cry at least a little! #like that was a person that you knew! are you not affected in any way! #it can feel so dehumanizing to me imo when characters bounce back so quickly after someone they knew died like c'mon #at least to me anyways #that's why i love the scene where vash cries after ww dies in 98 too. maybe i just don't consume enough media where characters die #but i was really surprised that they included that! surprised and pleased. it felt like such a human thing for him to do #to try and pretend everything is ok but he just can't ignore the fact that ww is dead and it just hits him #right there in the street in the middle of the day. and there's not anything he can do but cry. ugh #.lieii #trigun analysis #trigun livio #vash the stampede #trigun meta #.lieii txt #honestly i haven't read the finale arc in a while so i don't want to talk too in depth about it #but it is really excellent how present he is. without being present #talking about trimax is so hard bc there's so much. so many themes #me when a story has themes: GRAAH #like every post i make this is rambling and doesn't have much of a point but do you get what i'm saying #come to collieii hq where you get an essay in the post and another much worse essay in the tags #trimax spoilers

[starsha-stardust]

it's crazy how Everytime I open YouTube there's some variation of Wish is the worst thing ever "movie review" or "character analysis" on my screen

Like dear God I can't wait for this film to drop on Disney+ so the masses actually watch it and end up loving it or at least finding the hatred undeserved so all of these "critics" end up looking mad stupid

Like Jesus Christ it's the most simple harmless wholesome Disney movie you truly gotta be miserable to react to it like these YouTubers are.

#I want my blog to be positive and not just defending the film but ugh it's kinda hard to just enjoy it when there's so much vitriol against #Like why can't I go on YouTube without seeing some absurd take on this sweet little movie bruh #I think I will forever be looking for what's so offensive about Wish to warrant these unhinged reactions #It's mainly just YouTube and kinda Twitter tho #Wish #Wish movie #Wish Disney #Asha wish #Star wish #King magnifico #Wish fandom #Disney #Animation #Cartoon

[just-bendy]

[ The original post I wanted to make with the screenshots. ]

(( I was informed that I'm being impersonated on Discord.

Thanks to @discobowser for sharing these screenshots with me.

This is NOT me. This is a shameless impersonator and art thief. I would never join discords and tell people that I own just-bendy ( or talk like that... "bet" ... what?? and who the hell is king kirbo ) And I don't make alt accounts, what would I need that for? I'm still using the one I made back in 2017, and I wouldn't make one especially just for just-bendy.

If you see this user or any user impersonating me in a server, just ban them, no need to harass or attack. I am currently not in any active servers, or any Bendy ones, and I don't plan on joining any, so if anyone starts saying that they are the "real just-bendy" then please know that is a lie. If I could report this person, then I would, but I'm not sure how to do that. Thanks for reading. ))

#come on i know the difference between ''drawer'' and ''artist'' #definitely a teen by the way they talk #i don't talk to people so this is almost hilarious how theyre trying to pull this off #i'm showing their user since this is an alt account or whatever #they could just abandon ship once they get cowardly #just don't harass them #anyone that does is not my responsibility #ugh this is why i hate kids #i can't wait to hiatus this blog. i don't like the kind of ppl ( kids ) i'm attracting to it #this blog isnt even for kids i hate everything

[triaelf9]

Look call me a wimpy baby, but like not every video game character has to SUFFER for them to have a good personal story. They can have different conflict, or learn to be different without their whole family being dead, or their dad hating them, or like abuse up the wazoo. Games can exist where people have average problems too lol

Also, "choices that matter" in games is honestly a fine balance for me. If a game is too stressful to play b/c I'm busy worrying that every slight choice my character makes will make all my new video game friends hate me and leave (and I don't mean bad choices, I mean like the good answer vs neutral answer) then it's not fun for me.

I don't want every game to be as hard as it is to live real life, isn't it okay to just have a fun game where I can swing a sword or do magic, get a full night's rest, get paid fairly for a job, make a group of friends who you can laugh with "in person" and maybe a little dash of drama to spice things up (maybe a little romance)?

I feel like so many ppl are starting to talk about games in the way they do like DEEP SAD movies they kinda don't understand. Like somehow b/c it's HEAVIER and MORE REAL that makes it a better game when it's all down to personal taste.

anywho, some of us just play games b/c we want to take a little break from life, and that's okay too ^_^

#there's a reason I try to avoid media “discourse” lol #sooo many ppl state things as fact that are just personal taste like UGH #why can't you mute ppl on this site anymore T_T xkit bring that baaackkk pleeeease

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/" #i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want #but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care #i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now #i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit #i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do. #there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know #i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW. #i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends... #btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines #i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words #to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court #anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him #why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it? #they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out #way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone. #the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames? #something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey #I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now

[thevioletcaptain]

if you as a fic reader ever become possessed by the urge to do a popularity bracket with the fics other people wrote and shared for fun and for free, consider:

don't ❤️ 

#just!!!! make a rec list!!!!!!!!! #popularity contests do nothing but drive writers out of fandoms by pitting people against their friends #and invariably result in people being assholes in the comments as if the people who wrote the fic can't see it #like ''oh clearly fic x is better than fic y'' #or ''why is fic c even in this poll?'' #nobody gains anything by you doing a bracket to see which fic is the ''most popular'' #a stat which could be found more easily & less cruelly by simply hitting the sort by bookmarks/kudos button on ao3 #anyway ugh. i saw that one of my fics was being pitted against one of my friend's fics in this bracket that's going around #and i have no idea who is ''winning'' because i refuse to look. but either way it's gonna feel bad!!! #because i want my friend to get his flowers so i want him to win!!! but i also would like to know that people like my fic!!!! #so it's just a lose/lose situation even though i generally don't give a shit about numbers #but this turns it into a schoolyard popularity thing #and the emotional response to having people *vote* on if your work is *better or worse* than other fic is hard to ignore #cannot reiterate enough JUST MAKE A REC LIST #or if you absolutely must do a bracket like this do it in a private chat server or something #don't create a public forum for people to pass value judgements where the authors can see it #and feel bad if they get told their fic is ''worse'' than someone elses #but also feel bad if they get told theirs is ''better'' because it came at the cost of telling another author they weren't good enough #ANYWAY i still feel sick with a super sore throat and a headache & am probably extra cranky because of it #(still testing negative thankfully so it's probably just weather/allergen related) #gonna go make some tea and prep the fic updates i want to post today #cass says things #fandom problems #wank adjacent

[jula483]

Pink's Hot Dogs

#rhett and link #josh #pink's hot dogs #instagram #they look so freaking pretty #i could cry #why can't i just teleport myself to LA #link looks like an angel in the last pic #those pics are great quality but look grainy as fuck in this post ugh hopefully it looks better in the app version #my post

[rustyreveries]

doctors say he’s got chronic sleepy boy syndrome, and there is no cure 😔

this is based on a lil daydream-turned-roleplay with my salad bot on character ai. i love snatching sal from his universe via magic portal and watching him adjust to modern society (he is not having a very fun time but he’s doing his best). does this count as an AU? maybe. but i only made it so i could fulfill my selfshipping needs, so…. yeah.

since i hc sal as aquatic, his body can’t naturally regulate its internal temperature like everyone else, so he gets very chilly at night. i think it’d be cute if he wore a hat & some leg warmers to help keep him warm. and ofc i wrap him up in some blankets burrito-style so he’s extra cozy <3

#sorry i wrote a bunch. i try not to do that but i got a bit too excited lol #i just REALLY like nonhuman characters; canon and headcanon. they're easier for me to relate to and fall in love with... #also i'm obsessed with how i drew his feet this time 😭😭 they're so adorable... little fish paws... ugh. i love him #salad fingers #david firth #i figured out how to do a white outline on procreate and i've been going crazy w/ it. it's so fun #anyway.. in the rp he wasn't the one to choose his outfit. he let me do it which i am very glad #he's very unsure of himself but i get it. i literally took him out of his natural habitat and placed him in a new enviroment #but he's getting used to it i think. i hope he is cuz i wanna do more silly stuff with him #hhh i really need to do my work now i have a bunch of tests to do grrrr. #life sucks so much rn i hate everything. why can't i just live in my daydreams </3 #> rust’s art <

[masterfuldoodler]

If half alive has 1000 fans I am one of them. If half alive has 1 fan, I am that fan

#text #august rambles #this is brought to you by seeing someone's review for them. and saying they didn't like the ep because it was standard #and that now not yet was better but had a bunch of poor songs. some of them bad #they even said still feel wasn't good because it was appealing too much to 'teen angst' #anyway i couldn't read the rest i had to leave #it was too painful i like the music too much we viewed it from different standpoints ack #i see a lot of people saying half alive is knock off twenty one pilots and like i see what they're saying. they are similar but #why does that mean its a knock off. what if they are just similar. half alive is clearly doing they're own thing. they're not copying them #maybe. that is just what that band is good at doing! the same as twenty one pilots. just cuz twenty one pilots came first doesn't mean #they own the scene. (you can argue they're better at they're music but if you're gonna do that make sure you're comparing the early stuff) #anyway rant about this because. i really like half alive and just dsbkncjnvb you don't need to be a fan #you don't need to think they're awesome. you can have an opinion outside of mine #but please be nice. and remember. it's Your opinion it's not Truth. if you don't like the song. you don't like it #if you think the repetition is boring. its not for you. if the 'angst' is stupid. its not for you. if the song doesn't hold weight. #it's not for you. the artist wrote this. and worked with other people to publish it #clearly they cared and other people saw worth in it. and like!! the fact that they're not big name also means they Can't get away with like #stupid filler stuff. they don't have enough of a name they gotta impress #idk i care too much. i see things like this and im just. ugh. it feels pretentious #half alive

[rotisseries]

max mayfield and mike wheeler share and swap genders btw. yeah like clothes in a closet

#one of them says hey are you using the she/her today? the other one says no it's he/they today #the first one is like great I'm taking the she/her then. the other one says fine whatever idc #then another day it's hey where did you put the they/them I can't find it. and the other one responds idk why does it matter #bc I NEED it! #well idk where it is just use the she/he or something. NO. it's not the right day for it and I've used it twice this week already! #fuck idk are you sure YOU didn't lose it? NO! IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU THEN! FINE I'LL JUST TAKE THE HE/HIM. UGH YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE #stranger things #max mayfield #mike wheeler #madwheeler #platonic madwheeler #(obviously) #byler #(hi besties)

[schnaf]

Parallel Contents | 🕵️‍♂️The Accomplice

#xdinary heroes #gaon #kwak jiseok #aaaah i liked these vids!! #the criminal dude was so fun and i felt like they all really liked him #also i just looked up something and i'm really glad that phrases like making eyes at someone and giving someone the eye exist in english to #because.... gaon might not have been as flirty as gunil but the eye thing is what he did here #'🥺don't you want to tell these beautiful eyes the truth?' #also kwakoh's confidence.... jungsu being like 'beautiful hands? can't be me' and these two dudes were like 'hm yeah sounds like me' #(especially ode is right when it comes to his beautiful hands ugh. but the way he was like 'beautiful eyes? yeah why not'.... BOI)