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fieryfantasybooklover · 4 years

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Halos And Hellfire - A Malec angst/sad fic

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Long ago, when the universe was still new, 10 incandescent stars were exiled from the sky for their kindness.

The stars are cold beings that care for nothing and nobody. They burned entire worlds to the ground and enjoyed doing it. Because the primal energy of the universe was harnessed in the stars, and they decided there was no reason they shouldn’t use it. The stars could control all the elements, shift their forms, and teleport. And they used that power. Entire species met their ends in seconds, the last things they saw being terrible waves of fire and horrible all-powerful entities descending from the sky.

These 10 stars were born and they saw the universe for what it was - beautiful and worth saving. Those stars dared to dream, to have faith, to believe. Their thoughts were occupied by dreams of a better life. One where there was something beyond this - an endless stream of death and the cold void of space. These stars tried to save lives, save worlds. Their opinions were not shared by the other stars, so these brilliant entities that only wanted peace were cast from the sky. They fell in the form of gorgeous winged beings. And after falling for a thousand years, they landed.

At first, everything went fine. The star’s DNA altered to fit the environment. The planet was named “Earth” and it was perfect in nearly every way. It was lush and green, filled with water and even a native species to interact with. Half of the angels made their home in the sky, the other half in the underground part of the planet. Everyone lived in peace for some time, an era that became known as the Golden Age. But then there was a betrayal. An underground angel (as they had started to call themselves) clashed with an air dweller over the death of an air angel general. Both sides of the world blamed the other for the death. The force of the conflict nearly brought the planet to the ground.

Everything the stars had fought against for all their lives forced its way into their lives and brought fire and chaos with it. The war raged for nearly 100 years, nearly causing the angels to go extinct. Finally, peace was brokered… if both groups of angels promised to remain in their respective domain and only interact on earth, who’s residents were blissfully unaware of their existence.

As time passed, animosity grew and made itself at home. It grew to the point that the “dark angels” of the ground hated the “light angels” of the sky. The angel children of both sides were taught to hate the “enemy angels” from the time they were born. It remained this way for so long that all hope for happy coexistence seemed lost to the clouds.

*1000 years later*

“Do you have any idea what’s happening?” Catarina asked Magnus. Catarina and Magnus were best friends and high ranked soldiers in the Light King’s army. All the soldiers had been called to the courtyard for a speech from the High General, and were milling around while they waited. “I’ve got absolutely no idea. Maybe the General is finally letting us spruce up the barracks. Of course, me being my fabulous self, has still fought this topic despite the lack of help.” Magnus snarked at Catarina. “How long are you going to be mad at me for that? Just because I chose the improvement of the armory of the improvement of the barracks outward appearance doesn’t mean-”

Magnus shushed her as the General stepped up to his plinth. A hush fell over the crowd as General Charmeine stepped up and cleared his throat. “As you know, all of the soldiers have been summoned here for a speech. I am sure that you are all wondering why. I will not mince words, for as you are about to find out we have very little time.” The general paused and it seemed that every fiber of the world held its breath. “Our sensors have detected 10 bursts of pure undiluted energy emitting from an unknown source. And they are headed straight for this planet. These pulses are scheduled to arrive around this time tomorrow.” The general paused again. “To put it clearly, we have only a day left to live. Along with every single being on this Earth. I hereby release you all from your posts. You are free to live your last day however you wish.”

With that, the General took flight from the plinth, spreading his pale gold feathered wings and soaring off into the night, leaving chaos behind. Magnus stood there shocked, unable to process the devastating axe blow that was this news. Catarina did her bets to rouse him, but Magnus was lost beyond hope. Anger, pain, hate, confusion, and despair were cascading through him, mixing and leaving little room for Magnus to breathe. Moving like a robot, he spread his pure gold wings, a rare color among angels, and took to the skies. Not being able to stand looking at his home of 25 years, he turned to Catarina and spoke. “Caty. You were the best friend I could ever hope for. I wish you all the best in these last hours.” And with that, Magnus took off, flying as fast as he could in an attempt to forget everything he knew and wished he didn’t. That would be the last time he has his best friend.

The poor angels had no idea of the source of the power pulses. In fact, those stars that had once exiled the original 10 angels had found them. And decided to have a little fun. By blowing up yet another planet. Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the world a similar situation was playing out.

Alec spread his wings and took off without a second thought, not even hesitating for his best friend Jace. “How am I supposed to fucking deal with this? I’m told the world is ending and I’m released from my service? What do they want me to do? I’m sure as hell not going to stick around that’s for sure.” As Alec soared through the skies, he spotted a speck of gold on the roof of an extremely tall building in New York City. “Oh god, it’s an air dweller. Well, I have nothing left to lose anyway.” With that Alec began his descent towards the angel that would change his life, no matter how much remained of it.

Magnus stood on top of the building, surveying the skyline of the world that would soon cease to exist. It wasn’t until he heard the quiet swooshing of approaching wings that he realized another angel was approaching. Magnus turned and nearly lost his breath as the approaching angel landed. The angel was clearly dark, marked by the silver ebony runes spidering up his arms. The dark counterpart to Magnus’s silver runes. The angel was tall, dark haired… and unbearably smoking hot. He had breathtaking ebony wings that shimmered and shined with purple, gold, red, blue, and so many other colors. His skin was beautifully tanned and a pair of brooding deep blue eyes stared at Magnus with a thousand years worth of prejudice.

“Ummm… hello?” Magnus managed. “I am assuming you just got the news as well.”

“Yeah. And I don’t want to talk about it. We’re enemies and we always will be. I just don’t want to spend the last day of my life alone.” Magnus, shocked at the brief flash of emotion from this angel with a “Go to hell” attitude, just nodded. Both angels silently took off, with no particular destination in mind. They just needed to fly.

The existential dread faded as the angels soared through the sky, finding it in their hearts to be able to stand each other's presence.

The pair took turns choosing destinations, not even bothering to share names. They toured the Pyramids of Giza, flew over the Great Wall of China, and visited Tikal before finally pausing to rest atop a tree in the Amazon rainforest.

As they lounged, Alec worked up his nerve to speak to the golden vision that had suddenly appeared in his life. He rationalized that it was probably normal to want to talk, to experience, to feel. After all, he was only 25 and about to lose everything he had ever known. “Hey… what’s it like. What’s it like living in the clouds?” Magnus looked over, surprised at the question. “Well… it’s beautiful. Everything is made from white, gold, and silver. The sky is stunning and you get to see the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises. I love to stargaze… the sky is panoramic to the maximum when you’re up as high as we are. When I look at the stars, at the galaxies and the lights that fill the sky, I feel hopeful… but it’s also humbling. It reminds you how small we are to the universe. How much beauty there is beyond this world.”

Alec realized just exactly how beautiful the other angel was, silhouetted against the setting sun, ringed in gold. All of a sudden all the emotions Alec had been suppressing welled up inside him and he had to fight back tears. To stop himself from crying, Alec began talking. “I love living beneath the surface of the Earth. There’s so many mysteries down there that even we don’t know. We build everything from red and black colors, and it’s always warm. We can fly around the endless caverns we build. The kids play there and the teenagers sneak out there to make out. I love the earth. It’s grounding and it’s real. It keeps me tethered to reality.”

Silence echoed between them, but it was considerably more comfortable than it was before. Without a word, the two angels took to the sky to live out the remainder of their lives. Even if it was only 9 hours.

The two angels still did not share their names, even as they explored the catacombs of France, snuck behind massive crashing crystalline waterfalls, and explored the unmapped parts of the Sahara desert. They paused again at the top of Mt. Everest, when the talk turned to romance.

“Did you ever have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?” Magnus asked Alec as they gazed at the breathtaking Himalayas. “For me, it would be a boyfriend. And no, I never had a romantic partner. Us “dark angels” only marry once and it’s for life. I haven’t met that one person yet. What about you?” Alec inquired, gazing at Magnus with a surprisingly open and earnest face. “Well… it isn’t uncommon for us to have more than one lover. We don’t limit ourselves as we believe love is essential. We don’t marry as much, it’s more common to live with somebody and share a relationship and not be married. We don’t like to bind ourselves down with things like marriage.”

With those phrases, a passing on of knowledge to outsides, the barriers between them fell more. The pair took to the sky for the last time. They had less than an hour left to live.

The two angels landed on some unnamed beach. They stood there looking at the sun slowly lowering itself to set over the ocean. There was still no sign of the energy pulses set to destroy the world. As time ticked by and the world edged closer to extinction, neither angel said anything. There was nothing left to say.. Atleast not till they were sure nobody would live to repeat their words.

With under 10 minutes left to live, both started talking, talking over each other and talking like they would never be able to again. Which they wouldn’t.

“I hate the world. It’s full of hate and pain and anger and sometimes I think it would be better off to start over. To wipe the slate clean and hope that some decent race will rise from the ashes. That’s why I bolted when we got the news… because I was scared to admit that I thought it might be better. People destroy far more than they create and there is so much more bad in the world then there is good… and I just-- I GET SICK OF IT. BUT THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO TO CHANGE IT. And I can’t discuss it with my people - they believe that the world is unconditionally good! And I just can’t see it. Maybe I’ve just seen too much.” Alec stopped his rant, gasping for breath as if he had just run a marathon. Magnus stood there quietly, not judging, agreeing, or disagreeing. It took a minute for Alec to realize that Magnus had started talking.

“I am in a constant never ending battle with the devils in my head. One’s that have never seen the light of day because we do not let people show weakness. Shadows and darkness scream that I’m alone, that nobody is truly there for me. I never had parents - they didn’t want me and I was left on a friend’s doorstep. I was bullied growing up because I was different. It got bad… so bad. But then I pulled myself out of it. I pulled myself out of that pit, that void, just to die young.”

Both of the angels, descendants of ancestors who hated each other, looked at the other in shock. They had just exposed demons to their sworn enemy… and they didn’t even know the other’s name. Silent words flew between them, words that didn’t lie words that told the bare ugly truth. Words that said “I see you I understand you I agree with you. You don’t have to pretend here. You’re allowed to be dark because the world is dark with much to dislike about it.” Words that said “Maybe if things had been different, we could have loved each other. Maybe if there weren’t so many factors stacked against us. Maybe. But we’ll never know.”

With a roaring growing in their ears, the angels decided that there was nothing left to lose, nothing left to prove, nothing left to deny. And in that minute, with crushing finality, their lips met. It was a kiss like a thunderclap, like a lightning strike, a kiss like a sonic boom. It was pure exhilarating freedom and a wild howling wind. A kiss that sounded like thousands of years of hate falling to the ground with roaring and noise. It was a kiss of anger and pain and like-minded souls. It was a burning kiss as Magnus tangled his hands in Alec’s ebony hair and Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus to pull him closer as he ran his hands up and down the golden angel’s back. It was a kiss that silently spoke of what-ifs and maybes and if onlys. It was a final middle finger to the universe and everything that told them what they’re allowed to be. It was a kiss of passion… a kiss of halos and hellfire as the world fell to pieces around them.

Darkness. Darkness and nothing and nothing and darkness.

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #catarina loss #angst #minimal fluff #love #kiss #fire #angels #wings #destruction #stars #magic #megans writing

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chisie12 · 5 years

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Day 6: Forget-Me-Not

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19071907/chapters/45947032

‘Ah, fuck. This hurt.’

I paused two steps outside Jack’s room, gripping onto the railing on the wall as the pain in my chest flared. A discomfort lodged itself in my throat and I attempted to breathe, in and out, slow deep motions, but no matter how I tried, the lump didn’t want to go away. Breaths came out forced, ragged, like a dragon’s claw taking possession of my neck. The dragon commanded its power, wordlessly demanding my life. Equalled with its might of guardianship was its cries for destruction, laying dormant. To protect or to retrieve, were its choices, or to put it simply, to live or to die.

I wheezed a sharp inhale when it squeezed its claw, the lack of air causing my lungs to contract as they desperately scrambled for oxygen. I palmed my chest, fisting the fabric of the shirt, forcing the pain to go down, but I was a victim of my own devices. The metal in my body began to overheat again, the flames laying a fiery path in my veins. My flesh screamed in protest, a dragon’s agonised howling in my ears, rioting as my flesh started to reject the foreign objects, even if they’ve been conjoined for over a decade.

I lifted a foot off the ground, the tips of my toes grazing against the tiles. It was heavy. All my muscles groaned at the simple movement, but with a slow controlled breath, I gripped tightly onto the railings, lifted and dropped the foot forward. Sweat clung to my face, tracing along the pale scars as I panted. I clutched harder at my shirt, feeling the dread settling in.

Would my body not hold out until then? I promised her. Please, let me hold out until then. Don’t fail me now.

It’s one promise I can’t break. Please, don’t make me break it.

The metal seemed to respond to my mental pleas, as though they resonated with the one that had breathed life into them. That if its her, they could do anything, and it was that that also appeased the guardian, making it choose to let me live – even if it was simply a little while longer, just for her.

She was all that filed my mind as I trudged along the corridor. Each step was still as heavy as the first, but it was steady. Instead of pain anchoring me down, the same power of the dragon in my blood floated through my veins, lending me the slight power that it was willing. Soon. I’m almost there.

My palms were hot and sweaty, certainly leaving disgusting trails on the railing for the next person, and the room was already in sight. Just a little more. My feet dragged across the floor, heavy slapping on the tiles and though the pain was suppressed, it still felt hard to breathe. Short pants, heavy, and I stopped. Right before the door.

‘At least their rooms are on the same floor,’ I bitterly thought at how mine was too, but on the other side, far away. A miracle I managed to walk here to be honest. The nurses saw me, but mostly paid attention to their work. They were busy, bustling about like bees hurrying under the orders of their queen.

And I had survived through, without them telling me to go back.

A shaky hand lifted. Deep breath in, and out. The hand rested against the cold metal of the doorknob. What would I see at the other side? Would she welcome me? Or would she rather have Jack visit her instead?

Then the image of her hitting her head and slumping on the ground resurfaced, causing a wave of agony to curl in my heart. With a tight grip on my shirt, I released the deep breath built up in my chest and twisted my wrist. I needed to know, to see with my own two eyes. And the door opened with a click.

Tick.

Tock.

The hands of the clock slapped loudly in my ears. I stepped closer.

Tick.

Tock.

There weren’t any other sounds in the room except for hopeless breaths and loud, echoing ticking. The measured movement was moving in time with the heartbeats crying inside my restless ribs, and my steps moved in sync.

Tick.

Tock.

I still remembered the way her face would light up with a smile, easily drinking away at the coffee, or the way her nose would scrunch up and eyes drifting up as she pondered on something. On her unbroken wings, she would fly, in unspoken promises, that she’d watch our backs. She was there, protecting us. She was valiant. She was merciful.

She was our Mercy.

My chest jumped as the emotions swirled with the misty breaths fogging her mask. Streaks of fire burned my cheeks, unable to hide behind my mask. Each new wave a hot trail of agony as a hand shakily reached out. I lightly brushed her golden hair aside from her forehead. The flames of despair and regret burned brighter than the pains I felt, a deep emptiness filling my heart as the sentiments raged past the seams. Breathing hitched and knees buckling, I fell by her bedside, metal fingers tightly holding her limp one in desperation.

“Angela? Angela, can you hear me?” I choked out. I winced at the pain in my chest, cursing at the bullet wounds I received, and wheezed before trying to calm my myself. She was alright. She’s Angela. My dear Angela...

I still owe you dinner. Please don’t do this to me now.

Warm tears dripped onto her fingers and I quickly wiped it away with my other hand, only to freeze and stare at the crimson tinting it. I stifled a sob, pushing the pain of seeing a lifeless Angela away, as I looked down onto my chest. The green hospital shirt was stained with my blood, the metallic smell spreading and nearly dying the front a full dark red.

No, I breathed out. Fucking wounds, couldn’t you stay closed?

Grimacing, I gingerly swiped at my fallen tears with my metal thumb. Her name fell from my lips in soft whimpers as I pulled my body back away from her bed, unwilling to stain it – or her. My murmured voice spoke of sweet promises under my breaths as my vision started to distort, the painful yet beautiful sight of her blurring under a greying curtain. I forced my eyes open, pushing hard against the bandages that hid the surgical wounds while the blood continued escaping. I spoke of our future date, that I would bring her to an exquisite restaurant, possibly high up in the sky, because an angel like her deserves only the best the sky could offer, like a vast expanse to anywhere her freedom so desired. Through the entrance, past the short water wall with clear transparent water falling like a curtain would bring about a zen-like feel, so that she may feel at peace. I’d then lead her to a table made private with the bamboo separators, near the large open windows where she could watch the night sky sprinkled with stars hopefully visible despite the light pollution. There would be a different kind of serenity as potted plants, though sparse, decorated the place, with her smiles and laughter the best event of the night.

“Of course... I wouldn’t... forget the Swiss... chocolate... too.”

......

...

“I found him! He’s in here!” A nurse called out frantically as the ajar door was flung open in panic. Light footsteps entered the room, rushing towards the fallen patient on the floor, blood slowly seeping out from his clothes.

“Hurry and prepare the operating room!” A doctor yelled as he picked up the half-cyborg, half-human man with a grunt and carefully settled him on the wheeled stretcher that a nurse brought in. “Get someone to clean the mess up too!”

“Yes, doctor!”

The nurses ran to get the corresponding tasks done. Even though they looked kind of helter-skelter, there was a certain method to their chaos. One checked Angela’s vitals, searching for anything amiss while those by their station hurried to prepare the documents the doctor on surgery would need.

A nurse carrying a bucket of soapy water, bleach and a rag dragged her feet into the room, cursing inwardly at having to do the dirty work just because she was the newest and youngest of the group stationed today. When she walked through the door, she was startled at the ginger haired doctor already standing beside the unconscious patient.

“Oh? Who are you?”

“I’m new,” the doctor replied nonchalantly without even looking up from the papers in her hand.

‘Then they should have given the cleaning for you to do,’ the young nurse grumbled internally as she fell to her knees by the puddle of blood, noticing the lack of wrinkles of the new doctor and thinking that she was rather young. “Seriously, why can’t that patient just sit still,” she complained while scrubbing the floor. “No one should even be able to move after surgery!”

“Don’t you know who that patient was?” The ginger nurse calmly checked the machines Angela was hooked up to. Her bright auburn hair fell to cover the dark glint in her eyes as she looked down to inspect the mask.

“No,” the nurse on the floor grunted, wringing the rag in the bucket beside her. “Some lovesick man looking for Doctor Ziegler?” She scoffed.

Yes. They all knew of Doctor Angela Ziegler, a talent in their industry. Read her academic journals and findings with nanobiology and her work on cybernetics. They were surprised when the beautiful, well-known doctor turned up by the hospital, and even more shocked when they found out it was related to the hotel scare that happened not long ago.

“That was, I believe, Genji Shimada.” The older nurse wrote some data on the paper on her clipboard, her dual coloured pupils turning sharp. “The first successful experiment of Doctor Ziegler. Rumours has it that she saved him from the brink of death.”

“Wait, he’s the robotic guy?”

“More like a cyborg.”

“Ugh,” the younger nurse groaned as she finished scrubbing the blood away. Thankfully it was still fresh. “Yeah and? He can’t possibly be experiencing the Florence Nightingale effect? He looks so ugly.”

The ginger nurse didn’t bother chiding her for the insult. Not all nurses were after all, compassionate. Or lawful. “It doesn’t matter what we think. Stop being gossipy. Go back to work.”

“Alright, alright,” and the younger nurse left after finishing her task.

When she was sure that the younger nurse left, the older nurse turned back to stare at Angela’s face. The blonde’s features were twitching in pain, brows tight and nearly touching, while sweat covered her pores.

“Poor, poor Doctor Ziegler,” the only other person in the room cooed flatly, resting a hand on her hip. “What mess did you get yourself into now?”

The doctor flipped a page on her clipboard with a thoughtful hum. Details of Angela’s last hospital visit was recorded, noting the concussion and injury on the brain, and the blood loss that occurred. Looking at the date, as she calculated the weeks, she found that it was roughly 18 weeks ago.

“Ah, and you still haven’t fully recovered your memories? Well, it’s no surprise. These quack doctors telling you that you'll remember and recover in a short time.” The nurse rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath. “Your body is already functioning different from ordinary humans, with your applied nanobiology. Of course, you wouldn’t fully recover.” She proceeded to put the clipboard by the bedside table, her hands then hovering above Angela’s forehead. “They can’t. But I can.”

~*~*~

A heavy feeling weighed on my mind, a looming presence drifting closer to me in the vast darkness. My heart raced faster at the mere knowledge that something was there, yet I couldn’t see it, nor did it make a sound. A ghostly apparition making its way to me and I scrambled back. If it was the Grim Reaper or a convoy to hell, I wouldn’t want to know. Not now. I don’t want to go.

A sharp pain in my chest jerk my attention towards it, but as I looked down, I saw nothing but a fair bare-chested torso. Shaky hands slowly flitted over my skin, running across the perfect unblemished skin, across the ridges of my still existing abs, feeling the narrow waist and defined hips, made of flesh and not metal. Human-looking skin, back to when I was still the young clan heir of the Shimada, back to the time before my older brother cut me up, destroy my limbs, when I lived a carefree life without another care in the world, just me, myself and I (and the ladies of course). A disgruntled groan rolled off my tongue when a slow, burning pain dragged itself across my chest, before periodic stabs hooked itself onto my flesh. Resisting the urge to cry out, I fell to my knees, painfully aware that the unknown presence still watched me with a penetrating gaze. I looked down onto my chest, confused as I writhe in pain, at the lack of cuts or puncture marks. They felt so real, too real to be a vivid dream.

This was real. It’s happening.

“Argh…”

Desperate fingers clawed and clutched at my chest, but the useless attempts at easing the pain never subsided, not even when I allowed the darkness to swallow me whole once more, all the while that eerie pair of eyes watched me unendingly.

……

…

A blinding light engulfed my sights when my eyes flew open with a desperate gasp for air. My eyes were dry, that much I could tell as they squinted at the bare contact with the air and wished they were hiding behind their protectors. Groaning, I tried to get myself to sit up with my elbows. I had barely succeeded with lifting my body a mere inch off the bed when a calloused hand stopped me by the shoulders, and when I struggled, the person simply forced me back down onto the bed with a push.

“The fuck…?”

“You should stay in bed, love.”

“Lena?” I groggily turned my head to my right, faintly making out a petite woman munching on peeled, cut apples. Sunlight was lighting up the outline of the curtained window behind her. She held some apples out to me, the smell of fresh, juicy apples sneaking into my senses.

If Lena’s here, then…

“Yo,” Jesse grinned lopsidedly at me.

I groaned.

“If I didn’t know better, I would think you didn’t want us to visit you,” Jesse mock pouted. “Do you not want us anymore? Sob.”

Lena rolled her eyes at the cowboy’s drama as she proceeded to slowly feed me the apples that I gratefully nibbled on. Not to my surprise, I couldn’t really move my arms or feet, much less feel my fingers. “You were out for a while after surgery, again.”

I sunk my head further into the pillows as another groan escaped. I stared at the opposite wall with half lidded eyes, memories of last night streaming through my mind. Her blonde hair matted against her forehead, covered in bandages, beautiful features scrunched up in pain that made my heart ache with her every twitch. She looked so weak, so… vulnerable. Her breaths slowly fogged the oxygen mask, the machines hooked up to her the only other indicator that she was still alive.

Was she even cleared of the poisons?

“If you’re worried about Doctor Ziegler, she’s all right. I’ve asked the nurses. She’s not poisoned either. She’s just hurt her head really badly this time,” Lena explained upon noticing the tight furrows of my eyebrows.

I tilted my head to look at her, a frown setting upon my lips with my brows furrowing even tighter. Hurting her head really bad this time? …That was my fault.

If only I had been more careful when I had pushed her out of harm’s way, if only my foot hadn’t shocked itself when I twisted around, causing me to fall and stumble.

Lena watched as her bedridden friend squeezed his eyes shut, that scarred countenance twisted into such pain. She glanced over at Jesse, a silent tacit understanding communicating between the two. How were they to help? Words were meaningless, no matter how well they meant them, because before they could help, Genji had to allow them to work first, to accept their words, their help. Everything in life, was always a choice after all. And for now, if he chose to wallow in pain, they'll let him. Just for a little while.

She could only reach out a hand and pat his head, caressing it gently, ignoring the glistening wetness that stubbornly formed beneath his lashes. Seeing him like this made her heart ache. She missed the Genji that would crack jokes with her, the one she could tease and laugh with. This… this was just too painful.

I… I hadn’t known how much time had passed. The sunlight was no longer trying to peek through the curtains and my two friends were already long gone, leaving me alone to the silence of the night. And my thoughts. Thoughts that kept wandering back to…

I sighed.

Flexing my fingers, I felt the blood swimming through my veins as the sensation of touch returned. Slowly, I observed my body from within, sensing out the changes that occurred. To no surprise, my cyborg self was still breaking down, but not as bad to the point where I would no longer function properly. With a deep breath, I tried to then get up, only to realise the futility of my situation when I had to bite at my bottom lip to keep from crying out. Sharp pain speared through my torso and my left foot, realising then that lower limb was bent weirdly from the shape beneath the blankets. It couldn’t properly straighten, dangling at an angle to the side, as though broken. My expression darkened. I suspected that it would take at least half a year before I break down completely at this rate. Then glancing down, I lifted up the neckline of the shirt to stare at the bandages wrapped around my torso, remembering the bullets that were lodged there from the mission.

Once again, I sighed.

What am I to do now?

I didn’t have the mood to play with my phone, no mood to watch the muted television in front of me. All the television spoke off was about a man that had gone missing for over a week now and still not found, only really taking notice when I realised that his build was similar to Slade’s.

I laid there motionless, imagining that I was a corpse (I wasn’t that far off from one anyway), and just counted the seconds as they passed. Time seemed to congeal at that moment, its passing lost in my mind. A slow road to recovery.

At 9pm, my door clicked open as a nurse walked in. I immediately shut my eyes, pretending now to be asleep, listening intently on the sounds of her footsteps. I heard the relief in her released breath when the steps neared my bed (was I truly that frightening to ‘normal’ humans?), and I felt her presence by my IV drip. The tinkering of metal and crinkling of plastic drifted into my ears while she replaced the bag, until her voice joined as well.

“So many scars...” she muttered. “Why did Doctor Ziegler save someone like you?”

I resisted the urge to move, to roll onto my side and peek my eyes open. Yeah. Just why indeed did she save me? Was it her instincts as a doctor to not let anyone die? Or did she want to try her hand at saving a life that was on the brink of death?

The sounds stopped, but I knew the nurse was still there. Her breathing was soft, and I felt her stare scrutinising my every scar laid bare.

“And why did you go and see her? Can’t really be the Florence Nightingale effect could it?” A pause. “Ugh, whatever. He's not even handsome. Not reaally my type.”

Her footsteps eventually died as she left the room, closing the door behind her with a click.

‘Who the fuck cares if I’m your type?’

When I was sure she left, I opted to turn my head to the side, staring at the ends of the curtain dangling motionless. A bitter smile played off my lips. Handsome, was it? I used to be. Not anymore.

Just like how no one wanted me.

Closing my eyes, I released the pent-up frustrations, the sadness, in one deep long sigh.

No one.

It was bright when I woke up the next day, just in time to see a male doctor standing by the foot of the bed and checking the clipboard detailing my condition.

As though sensing that I was awake, the doctor looked up and smiled despite my silence. “Good afternoon. I'm guessing you slept well?”

I nodded mutely.

“Good, good. Any discomfort anywhere?”

I shook my head. A blatant lie.

He came over to my side while the nurse carefully lifted up my shirt to change my bandages, silently observing as she did. His eyes trailed over the markings of past battles and the surgical marks he created, checking that the sutures were properly in place, before taking a step back. “The second surgery was a success, though I’ll advise for you to not move until the wounds are closed. As much as I’ve helped you remove the bullet wounds, I couldn’t fix the cyberised parts of your body.”

My eyebrows darted up high to my hairline. He could tell?

Seeing my reaction, the doctor continued, although albeit embarrassed, “I'm a huge fan of Doctor Ziegler’s work and have read on her works regarding applied nanobiology and cybernetics. When we found you in her room, I thought you were most likely one of her projects that she worked on.”

His words zoned out in my mind, falling onto deaf ears as I let the hope sizzle into ashes.

Projects? Hah... I guess that’s all I was.

I finally turned to lay on my side as the doctor continued rambling on. I refused to look at him any longer. A glance was enough to imprint his lustrous black locks in my mind, the bangs swept back in a nice fashionable gel, and his bright blue eyes lighting up at the mention of the famous Doctor Ziegler. Tall and slim, well built. A young, charismatic, handsome man.

More handsome than me. And most definitely not a project.

‘Stop it, Genji.’

‘It's true. I'm ugly. I'm a monster.’

‘You fucking idiot. Stop. If you miss her so much, go and see her. Better than this self-pity party you’re not inviting her to.’

I bitterly chuckled. What more could I actually say? Anyone, anyone would be a better fit for her than me. Glancing at the embarrassed doctor from the doctor of my eye, I ignored him as he left the room. The hours passed, I ate what was given and didn’t get to see Jesse or Lena that day.

But when night came, I decided to hold onto the crazy end of my mind and meet her. It was already a few days since the mission and us ending up at the hospital, and after the surgeries, my body seemed to somewhat hold up. I hope. Dragging my legs slowly with controlled breathing, deep pants to ease the pain, I stood up. A muted sharp cry escaped through gritted teeth as I dropped and stumbled. I glared down with a frown at my left foot that was evidently broken. The ankle part was broken, the limb twisted, where bottom of the foot was facing the left.

‘Fuck, just fuck.’ Gripping onto the sheets, I tried to stand again, only to wince and sink my teeth into my lips with a snarl. ‘This shit fucking hurts!’

In a haze of madness, I planted the foot with the sole furthest away on the floor, my leg bent weirdly. The metal bed frame creaked and dented under my grip, and in one clean move, crack! I forcibly twisted the foot back into place, causing disagreeing shocks to rampage in my nerves. My breathing grew haggard, coming out in short puffs as black spots attacked my already blurring vision. I tightened my grip in response. That shit hurt, really fucking hurt. But it was only metal, shattered bits and cracks of something that wasn’t alive in the first place, and when the first wave of pain was over, and I had control of my sight and breathing again, I tested the water once more.

I probably must have broken that pain nerves of that foot, over-shocked it into oblivion, because I could now stand on feet that actually looked normal. Slightly wobbly, but I could walk. Enough for me to crawl out of bed and stand, to quietly make my way through to the other side without the nurses on my tail. I looked fairly normal to outsiders, but internally, I was screaming. My chest would hurt at the slightest wrong move and if I went too fast, my breathing couldn't catch up.

Passing Jack’s room, my steps halted in hesitation. I bit the insides of my cheek, mind whirling with questions before choosing to move on.

A deep breath in to stabilise my emotions and I twisted the doorknob, silently pushing my IV pole in. The closing click of the door rang loudly in my ears, followed by the loud thumping of my heart as I watched wide eyed and mouth agape. Turning her attention away from the window, her profile was illuminated by the moonlight that was streaming into the unlit room, setting her golden locks ablaze. There was a large cotton gauze taped on her head and her vivid blue eyes seemed to twinkle a little brighter in the dark, lit up with utter joy. Joy? Me? Here?

“Genji!” She lifted a hand that was folded on her lap and waved. “You’re all right!”

“Mmm,” I hummed in acknowledgment.

My steps were slow but sure as I made my way to her side, dark eyes scanning every inch of her face for the smallest of signs that something was wrong, but when her grinning lips fell into a confused gape and her head slightly tilted, I felt my face split in half at the wide grin reaching ear to ear. “You’re okay,” I breathed out, resting a hand by her bed as I sat down on the empty chair.

“Yeah, I feel better.” She nodded resolutely, and a burden seemed to have lifted from my shoulders when I sat up straighter and let out a relieved sigh. “How are you feeling?”

“Haha,” I chuckled humourlessly. “As good as I can be. Doc already patched me up here.”

“Oh, that’s good...”

I reached out my hand, slowly like you would to not frighten an animal, and Angela stayed still, allowing my fingers to brush against the gauze. My sombre gaze dropped to find hers, still twinkling bright, looking up at me from beneath her lashes. A silence fell over us. Comfortable and peaceful, with the rhythms of our breathing the orchestra for the night.

My hand trailed down to her cheeks, the back of my fingers tracing her jawline before holding onto her chin. She shuddered under my fingertips as my thumb rubbed just below her bottom lip.

“Genji,” she called out while gripping my hand in hers. A panic inwardly rose when I caught her serious expression. Her cheeks were slightly pink and I froze in fear. The bliss I felt squeaked like a frightened mouse and turned tail. Was she going to ask me to leave? Did she want to chase me out? Wait, if she was, then she wouldn’t hold my hand.

“Y-Yes?”

A roll of her eyes. If she caught onto my nervousness, she never mentioned it. “When are you going to take me out for the dinner?”

I blinked slowly at her. Dinner? Dinner... oh, dinner. I gulped the nervous lump in my throat, feeling the warmth of her fingers covering mine. Our faces were still so close, her breaths fanning my lips. “When we’ve both recovered. I think we can have the dinner then.”

She beamed at me and I felt the tips of my ears go pink. “Sounds great! I can’t wait for it.”

I nodded in agreement.

My hand slowly left her face and I thought to settle back into the chair when she lightly tugged at my limb. “Angela?”

She said nothing, but when she tugged at my hand again, I let her pull me closer. My body was bent over her bed while she leaned nearer and lifted her other hand to caress my scars. Was she appalled by them? Did she find them ugly? My gaze darkened as I dropped my head, casting shadows over my eyes for fear she’d see the hopelessness and fear in them. She’s not the same Angela I once knew, yet she’s still fanned the flames of my love that I forcibly dimmed. It was the same face, the same smile, but the cafe owner Angela was like a new breath of fresh air. She was freer, happier. Maybe this was better, for her to not recover her memories. She was happy as Doctor Ziegler, but she was tied down and restricted. As cafe owner Angela, there was nothing to worry about except for the bills and customers, and she genuinely loved it there.

But then I felt it, the warm moisture of her lips upon the scar on my cheek. Frightened like a poor deer caught in the headlights, I froze at the contact. When she pulled back, I was too afraid to ask, to afraid to break the bubble she created. I closed my eyes as her lips peppered my face, on every scar that carved itself onto my skin, from my cheeks, to my forehead, before moving down to the long, deep one by my nose.

“I feel like you’re afraid, Genji...” she whispered softly, a trace melancholy tinting her voice. She too, didn’t dare ask him anything. Why he’d freeze at her touch, why’d he keep his distance. Had he not loved her?

“N-No, I'm not. I'm just...” I reluctantly pulled back and was I allowed to feel the slightest shred of disappointment when she didn’t stop me? I glanced into her questioning gaze, feeling utterly small at that very moment before dropping imine to my lap. “It’s just... aren’t you together with Jack?”

Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline in pure confusion. “What? Since when?”

I looked back at her, an eyebrow of my quirking up in similar confusion. “Aren’t you? Jack said –”

“What did he say,” her face twisted into a slight snarl when realisation dawned upon her. What more lies did Jack tell? What more did he keep from her?

Seeing her twitching in rage, my eyes flew wide open as I tried to explain, “No, no. He didn’t say that you were together, but he made it sound like it. So, I thought –"

“We’re not. We were never dating,” she glared at her hands. “He was only a close friend of mine, someone I trusted.”

I had caught onto that last word but didn’t have the chance to ask when she continued.

“He was just the only one there when I woke up in the hospital. I didn’t remember anything or know anyone, but he felt familiar, he was kind. Naturally I would be close to him.”

“Wait, hospital? You were in the hospital? When?” I straightened in my seat, a sense of panic running through me. I hadn’t heard anything of that sort!

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Yeah, hospital. About a little over four months ago? I woke up in a hospital and he was the only one by my side. Wait, he never told you?”

I bitterly shook my head. “No.” Of course, he didn’t. But I didn’t wish to dwell on it any further, because at the very least, the biggest misunderstanding was cleared.

She watched him visibly relax and the anger diffused as well. Misunderstandings could always be talked through at a later time. Calling out his name softly, she beckoned for him to come closer.

“Huh?”

“I’m not done. Come here.” She grinned.

My eyes widened as a blush crept along my neck and onto my cheeks upon realising what she meant. Lips parted to question her, but I crumbled at the stern, slightly narrowed glare. I obediently leaned forward.

“Do you hate your scars a lot?”

I closed my eyes as she took my face in her hands, tracing the scars on my face as she lightly pecked each one. “Mhmm...”

“Why though?” she pulled back slightly when she was sure she kissed every one of them. “Do they still hurt?”

I shook my head. “They’re ugly.”

“Really?” She forced my gaze to hold hers. I could only bitterly smile when I saw her beautiful countenance up close, thinking that I'll never be able to stand next to her. “I think...” she murmured, a finger grazing the deep cut across my face, “that the strongest souls emerged from suffering.”

Before I could ask any further, her hands dropped after giving me a long, tender kiss on my forehead. “You’re fine the way you are, Genji.”

It was odd indeed. When she had awoken, she found that she remembered of some memories of her past, especially of those when she was recruited into Overwatch. She recalled the events that had transpired and of the related people. They were coming to her in waves and didn’t hurt one bit, like a scene of a drama that was playing, only that it happened in her head and not on a screen.

My heart felt warm and fuzzy at her words, and a smile blossomed on my face. “Thank you, Angela.”

She returned my smile and then we descended into silence once more. I stared at her, watching her comb her hair with her fingers as she leaned against the bedframe.

“You know, I think they should have kirsch in the hospital,” she grumbled lightly under her breath, breaking the silence. “I'm suddenly craving for my special coffee.”

A peal of joyful laughter burst out from my chest. “I'm pretty sure alcohol isn’t allowed in hospitals.” Her bottom lip jutted out into a pout and I leaned over to pat her head, gazing deeply into her eyes. “I'll order you one for our dinner. Sounds good?”

“Mhmm, it does.”

And just like that, we spoke into the night, speaking of random ordinary topics of food and drinks, more specifically the coffee. She had laid down on her side at some point, eyes fighting to stay awake, her lashes constantly fluttering softly. I continued whispering of pleasant scenarios to her, of stargazing in an empty meadow, of trying macaroons on the Eiffel Tower, of strolling under the Sakura trees in Hanamura... up until her eyes remained closed and her breathing grew heavy. They were pleasant to her, but bittersweet to me. Why did I have to say those words? I was already leaving. I shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up.

‘But I hoped she would not forget me. That I'm not just someone passing in her life.’

The days and nights passed like that, and as I was recovering, I’d constantly drop by her room in the dead of the night with a rose I’d find in the hospital gardens. Her laughter in the hospital gave me the joy and willpower to simply not run away from it, and I hadn’t seen Jack either; He was already discharged long ago. And I supposed it was a struck of fate that we could be discharged together too.

If my calculations were right, it was already 5 months since her incident in the hospital. So many changes in such a short time. She was back to her cafe and I returned to the bureau to report myself.

I stood outside Jack’s office, back in the comfort of my suit, fingering the letter in my hands.

“Come in,” Jack called, and I entered.

I ignored my shaky movements, trying to look as natural as possible, but there was something lodged in my knees, blocking it from bending properly. There was a drag in my arms as I tried to move my elbows. Slowly. It would be my end.

“Genji, how are you?”

I could tell that Jack was trying to maintain his professionalism, from his flat tone and steady gaze, yet his interlaced fingers betrayed his emotions. They were tightly bound, shoulder muscles tensed. His eyes dropped to the envelope in my hand.

“I'm good, commander. I'm also here to hand in my resignation.”

Taken aback, his fingers slowly unlaced themselves, reluctantly receiving the letter from my outstretched hand. “R-Resignation?” He parroted Genji as though he couldn’t believe his ears.

I firmly nodded. “I would like to quit.”

“B-But...” Jack stopped himself there. What right did he have to go question an old friend’s motives? His own motives were already questionable enough. He stared into Genji’s eyes that were steady and unyielding, and he sighed. Settling the envelope on the table, he rubbed at his temples. “Alright. Take care, Genji.” Just like that, Genji Shimada was unemployed. No more words were said

I nodded my head, pausing in my spot. As though he sensed my intentions, Jack lifted his head to gaze sadly at me. His lips were pressed into a thin line, eyebrows curved in reluctance.

“Where will you go?”

My hopes dashed at his words. Biting back the irritation in my voice, I replied, “Not sure. Maybe I'll go find Zen.”

“But Angela...?”

I shook my head, choosing not to respond. “Thank you for everything you've done for me so far, commander.”

Jack waved it off. “I'm no longer your commander. Just call me Jack.”

“Jack,” I tested the words on my tongue, feeling somehow bittersweet. It was an unspoken promise between friends, yet an invisible boundary of separation. “I wish you the best, Jack.”

“Same to you, Genji.”

I turned and left the office, the unpleasant taste of regret and broken hopes drifting heavily in the air. “Goodbye, Gabriel,” I said when I noticed the tall dark man standing by the door to Jack’s office. “Thank you for everything in the last years.” For taking care of me, for the laughter you’ve given.

Gabriel’s face twisted into an embarrassed scowl as a thick heavy hand ruffled my hair. “You're really going to leave?” He asked, having overheard.

“Yes, I think it's time to relax. I'll go and find Zen, perhaps.”

He nodded sadly. “Take care of yourself.”

“I'm not leaving yet. I plan to lounge around before I do.”

“Sounds good.”

A foot was lifted, ready to leave when I turned around to find him staring after me with a sombre gaze. “Can I give you a hug before I go?” I’d always remember my times in Blackwatch and how he’d always took care of Jesse and I (the other man was the troublemaker. I'm innocent). Wish I told him before, but this man was more of a father than Sojiro ever was.

Gabriel scoffed and rolled his eyes, but it couldn't contain the trace of joy that shone through. “Come ‘ere.”

I chuckled and squeezed the bigger man tight, hopefully conveying all I never said with that. Angela’s condition made me realise how short life could be, that anything would happen, yet I couldn't bear to stay because of that exact reason. I didn't want them to despair when they found out of my condition, and (I glanced at Jack in his office as I hugged Gabriel) I didn't want to expose Jack for what he's done. That was the last bit of mercy that I could give him.

“Take care, Genji.” Gabriel patted my back, watching until I turned around the corridor. The smile on his face dropped as he turned into Jack's office and locked the door behind him. “What's going to happen now? Our best spy and infiltrator just left.”

He didn't have the heart to hold him back and things were dire. The situation was a lot worse than they thought, yet he didn’t want to burden one of his best men (son) with it.

Jack groaned and massaged his temples. “What more can I do? I'll figure out a way. Don't worry.”

Gabriel pursed his lips.

They had found out that the Slade they captured was a fake, a decoy, which explained the sheer madness of the man in trying to bury himself along with them. Their intel was insufficient, lacking, when the news of Slade having a twin brother surfaced, and this was only because the same man had gone missing from his office a week before the mission. Even he hadn't known that his older brother was knee deep into the operations as an underground drug ring leader. The twin brother had gone mad from the drugs administered into him and was now lying unconscious on the bureau's medical bed slowly recovering. He was also our best bet at capturing the real Slade.

“I'll be fine, Gabe. Trust me.”

And that was all Gabriel could bet on.

~*~*~

“Angela!”

The blonde laughed as the smaller Asian woman pounced into her arms and gave the biggest bear hug possible. “Hi, Mei!”

“I'm sorry that you had to tend to the cafe by yourself.”

“It’s okay. I'm happy to do it if it lets you recover properly.” Mei was overjoyed in seeing her friend in one piece. When Jack had thought that the cafe owner would stay put in the cafe, he had assigned for Mei to remain back to protect Angela, but who’d have thought that their sweet, strict (independent) Mercy would rather rush head on into danger instead?

Angela got right into work, greeting each colleague as she got herself ready to work, having already been updated on the cafe affairs when Mei had come to visit. She was cleared on her head injury when the doctors observed no abnormalities in her.

Mei noticed the little skip in her friend’s steps, the cheerful tune as she hummed. “Did something good happen?” she giggled.

Angela avoided Mei’s teasing gaze while focusing on putting the empty tray back on the counter. “It's nothing.”

Mei laughed heartily, arranging the food in the display nicely. “Sure, sure. I guess your blush means nothing.”

Ignoring her friend, Angela decided to instead busy herself with the counter. Mei turned back to her tasks, happier than when she first started. Something seemed different with Angela today, something that was there before separating the two was not there anymore.

After a moment, Mei heard Angela exclaim in confusion. “What's wrong?”

There were sounds of paper crinkling as Angela removed the bag from under the counter.

“Oh, the bag Genji left.” She peered over. “What’s in it?”

“I'm not sure,” Angela frowned at the slightly heavy weight. “I'm going to take a quick break.” Straightening herself, she retreated into the kitchen, away from prying customer eyes to look. The cooks were busy cooking up a storm, sparing only a simple greeting before returning to work.

She was curious. Why would he leave a bag like this here? Why hadn't he taken it back? A hand entered the bag’s mouth and she felt the hardness of paper on her fingertips. Gripping it securely, she pulled it out, the plain unadorned ivory book cover appearing before her eyes. The words [花笑み] were written in gold calligraphy, below it the romaji [Hanaemi]. The book wasn’t thick, probably just about an inch in thickness, and it had contrasting covers; ivory for the front and black for the back. [切ない] were the words brushed in gold upon the back cover, with [Setsunai] written below it; A similar yet contrasting design to the front. With her curiousity piqued further, she turned back to the front page and opened the book.

[A smile as beautiful as blooming flowers.]

There was only that one sentence written on the page. Yes, written. Her fingers traced the words, feeling the bumps as she did. She was certain, this was handwritten. When she turned the page, the story then began.

It spoke of the beautiful smile a certain woman had, detailing of her small quirks that she had. How she loved drinking kirsch in her coffee, the way her nose would scrunch, and her eyes would drift up when she pondered on something.

She found her lips tugging into a smile as she continued to read, this time turning into a random page. The book had then gone to describing a scene, one that somehow struck familiar. It spoke of how the woman had dressed up as a witch during Halloween, down to even having black pointy hat. That night during Halloween, the Overwatch team had celebrated with spooky food and drinks, and of course, trying to beat each other with the biggest loot of candy. It further detailed the event, of how Jesse the dressed as Van Helsing had gotten drunk, and how Mei, dressed as the Chinese zombie, was trying to scare the living daylights out of said drunk Jesse, and essentially how happy everyone was.

It was this particular part that struck her odd. Because this happened to be one of the few memories she recently remembered.

A weird thought crossed her mind.

Turning the book over, she stared at the calligraphy that painted the dark cover before turning to the first page. There, written like the first page on the front, was a lone sentence: [A bittersweet feeling, painful yet wistful.]

On the next page, was a sombre tone setting the book. It wasn’t much like a memoir of what she read earlier but a narration like an actual story.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Dear reader, I wish I could tell you that it ends well.

That I found her after two weeks, that nothing had actually happened to her, that it was just a simple misunderstanding. Perhaps, she had gone on an impromptu trip to the Arctic to see the penguins and polar bears, to be surrounded by all the fluff and majestic wonders of life in the ice and snow, doing all that research and contemplating on medical magic like she normally would.

Because last night, I dreamt that I woke up after lying asleep on her lap — one of my favourite moments in life. I closed my eyes and drew in a lung full of air, letting out a contented sigh. I focused on her fingers in my hair, the sound of paper rustling and smelled the alcoholic coffee wafting in the room. A few minutes stretched out like an eternity, a blissful eternity. Outside the room, the pitter patter of rain began to fall.

“Oh, it’s raining.” A whisper barely audible tickling my ears.

“Mmm, it would seem like it is.”

There was silence when she spoke again. “If I recall, it was raining when I found you too.”

My body stiffened at her words and my eyes finally cracked open, falling first on the ever-present smile, and I instinctively relaxed. “Yeah, it was raining just like this at that time.”

She hummed and went back to her book, and I went back to enjoying her warmth. These moments were just short intermissions from the daily hecticness of our lives, but it was all we needed at times.

“I’m glad that I did though.”

“Huh?” My eyes flew open.

She peeked over her book, her gaze glinting in amusement from behind the glasses. “It allowed me to meet you.”

I shifted on her lap so that I fully faced her, and I chuckled when she jumped at my hand touching her cheek. With her attention stolen from the book, I gazed at her as the world around me fall away.

I vividly remember my lips parting as I wanted to tell her — tell her things that I left unsaid, but when I saw the dull white ceiling of my single bedroom dormitory, I was slapped in the face, back into the harsh reality; That I still haven’t seen her in the past two weeks, of neither hide nor hair. Not even my calls or texts were going through. I initially thought that she hadn’t texted me in that week I was away because she hadn’t wanted to disturb me during the mission, but even two weeks later? It’s been a long time… And the worst is not even seeing her in the office.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

With shaky hands, Angela finally lifted her head from the book, sinking her teeth onto her bottom lip. What that from Genji’s point of view? There was a trace of sadness in those blue eyes of hers when she thought of how the poor man must have been lonely, and adding onto her attitude weeks ago, gods, she couldn’t even fathom how he didn’t hate her yet. A deep breath in, and she tried to steady her emotions, forcing the tears to disappear and her heart to slow.

Carefully bending the book, she lightly flipped the pages open, seeing the rush of blurred words – handwritten words – dance, when it suddenly hitched and stopped. Confused, she opened the book at the page it stopped at, picking up the hidden bookmark that was left inside. The bookmark was unique; A dried and flattened red rose that had lost its lustre was laminated and cut into a rectangular bookmark, with a golden ribbon tied at the end. She lifted it up to peer at it closer when she realised the uneven marks in the transparent film. They looked a lot like dried glue. Turning the bookmark over, she traced its cut edges as an indescribable feeling started to churn in her stomach. It was handmade, done with the use of clear glue stick and a pair of transparent film paper. She guessed that the dried roses were placed in between the transparent films after he applied a large section of glue, where he then constantly flattened it and allowed it to dry before actually cutting it up.

She thought that the surprises were over, intending to put the bookmark back, when her eyes caught sight the words written on the open pages. She was drawn in, like a curious cat to a box.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Dear Angela,

There were many things that I wished I could tell you, but I don’t know where to start.

When we first met, I was broken, more than any person should possibly be, and you saved me. You gave me grace and patience, kindness and care, even though all I ever gave you then was unresolved anger and despair. You could have given up on me, but you didn’t.

Now, after years of silently loving you, if I had to choose one thing to say, it was ‘Thank You’. I believe I never told you that enough, never shown you that enough.

Thank you.

You are the reason for my every smile and is the reason for the beauty in my world. You are my joy, my angel, the purest person in my heart. And falling in love with you, was the best choice of my life, even if it was never my choice to make. I hadn’t chosen to fall in love with you, I could not control it. Your smile, your personality, everything about you made it impossible for me to simply do anything else. And each day, I found myself falling ever more in love with you.

Thank you.

And I hope that now, you find your happiness, Angela.

Because…

When spring comes again,

I only have one wish, that

You’ll remember me.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

#gencyweek #gency week #gw5 day 6 #gency fic #gency au #muchas angst #i think

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ask-princess-slaughter-shy · 7 years

Text

Princess Slaughter Shy 2 (Page 6)

An original My Little Pony Creepypasta by Zaine McCartney

“Leave it up to me and my crew.” She replied with a vote of confidence. She looked around the room and gave a wary laugh, “but we may not get it all done in one day.”

“That’s fine, just get it done.” She left Decora to do her thing and made her way over to Vextra. “Hold still while I perform a shrinking spell on you.” He tilted his head questioningly but obliged. His body trembled while the magenta aura spiraled around his body. Bit by bit his body shrunk down to the size of a full-grown German Shepard. “Now come, I’ll show you to your well deserved meal.” She took him to the room that harbored Amy’s decomposing body. Blood was still oozing from her chest, her color looked more greyish-blue now than its normal white color.

Vextra instantaneously pounced onto the body and sank his wooden fangs into the chewy flesh. He wagged his tail with delight as he devoured the corpse. Fluttershy left him to enjoy his meal in peace and wandered aimlesley through the halls.

“Yo! Fluttershy! What’s up?” Called out a vuagly familiar voice belonging to a mare. It sounded from behind her at a far distance.

The Princess’s face contorted with anger and familiarity, she was very displeased with the incompetent pony’s use of her dead name but she also couldn’t shake trying to figure out whose voice that belonged to. When she turned around the sense of familiarity became ten times stronger as she saw a creamy white Unicorn with an electric blue mane and adorned in black-framed purple-lensed sunglasses, she had a very bright smile painted on her face. Princess felt frozen in place, she didn’t know how to react or feel about the whole situation. Her turquoise eyes shot a quick look at Pinkie Pie who seemed to also be frozen and unsure what to do.

The mare came to a screeching halt before she wound up slamming into her. “Yo! It’s been a minute since we last saw each other. I see you’ve been doing well for yourself.”

Futtershy just continued to stare at the mare unable to find her voice.

Vinyl’s blue magic enveloped her glasses and placed them up on top of her head, her violet-red eyes looking back and forth between Fluttershy’s. “You remember me, don’t you? Vinyl Scratch? DJ Pon-3? We met on the train not to long ago and you helped me move my setup.”

“Yeah. I remember you.” Princess finally said. “How have you been?”

Vinyl took in a deep breath, her demeaner completely changed in the blink of an eye catching even Fluttershy off guard. “You know, not so good. After you came into power no pony has wanted to hire me for events.” Hurt was in her eyes now, “I can’t believe you… Why did you kill them? What in the world possessed you to pinch off the sweetest most caring ponies in the universe..?”

“I… I…” She didn’t know why but her heart felt like it was being ripped apart. A knot caught in her throat that made it hard to breathe. Why was she feeling so guilty now? She didn’t give a fuck about the former Royals so why did she care now? It can’t possibly be because she cared about this common white pony and how hurt she is by Princess Slaughter Shy’s destruction, can it? She blinked multiple times to hold back the tears threatening to fall. She wanted to speak but the knot was far too large to allow the words to flow freely.

Vinyl’s eyes narrowed with anger. “I know why, because you’re a pathetic selfish pony who only cares about herself. She was so obsessed with wanting the limelight to herself that she’d do anything to get it, even commit mass murder.” Her own tears were brimming her eyes. She grit her teeth with extreme hurt in her eyes. “Didn’t you care about your friends..? What am I saying… of course you didn’t because you killed them all, except for her.” She looked back at Pinkie for a second. “You probably don’t even care about me because you didn’t care to ask me how I felt in any of this…”

“I do-do care…” Fluttershy replied though she wasn’t sure she actually meant it. Her dark side didn’t care about any of the shit she was saying but her former side really sympathized with Vinyl and her heartbreak. Her head was becoming muddied with overwhelming thoughts, her dark side and light side clashing inside was too much for her to handle, she felt as though her head was about to implode.

“If you do care… then please resign from being the Princess… give Shining Armor the keys to Equestria. Turn yourself in and let these ponies see justice for the unlawful deaths of the Princesses and Elements of Harmony. Let the land go back to normal with the sunrise and moon rise.”

The tears were streaming down her pale yellow cheeks and refused to letup. She shut her eyes tightly and shook her head. Her heavy grieving heart dropped completely down into the floor. The seeds of sorrow Vinyl was planting in there were growing like a rapid inferno.

“Please, stop your tyranny while you still can. Stop before anypony else loses their life. The real you is still in there somewhere, I can see her. Let her out and step down.”

Flashbacks from the night she killed Princess Celestia flooded into her brain, making the chaos in there become worse and brining on a migraine. The way she came face to face with herself in the mirror before she went on to murder the highest Princess, the way she smashed the mirror into a thousand pieces and used the biggest piece to kill over and over again. Her head began to twitch and her eyes went black to normal to black again in a rapid pace. She glared down at the floor, her ears folded back tightly and her body beginning to shake. She bared her teeth and growled lowly as the voice of her former self broke through her mind and started whispering to her. “Please, stop this. Do as your friend says and step down. We can still put the world right. Like Twilight would always say, friendship is magic.”

“I’m still going to be your friend and see you through everything once you step down. So please, give up the throne, please.” Vinyl pleaded one last time.

She sqouze her eyes shut and slammed her hooves to her ears in an attempt to drown her their voices. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!” She repeated over and over, her eyes were now completely black and she lunged forward, wrapping her front hooves around Vinyl’s neck. She trapped her in a chokehold and kept hissing “shut up” in her ear. Vinyl gurgled with fright as she struggled to breathe, she clawed at Fluttershy’s arms but they would not budge no matter how hard she pulled. Even punching her arms did nothing. Panic started to set in as she felt her head and neck start to twist to the left, she pounded her hind hooves on the floor as hard as she could, the shockwaves that shot up her leg bones was excruciating. The bones in her neck began to make a sickening crack that even she heard before her vision when dark and she could no longer hear the noise, the noise that bounced off the hall walls and penetrated everyone else’s ears that were there. Vinyl’s thrashing body ceased and went limp which brought Fluttershy back to her normal state. She looked down at the lifeless Unicorn in despair. She shook the pony in an attempt to rouse her. “Vinyl!? Vinyl Scratch!” She cried out in desperation and shook harder but the Unicorn remained unresponsive and limp. Fluttershy’s breathing became panicky and she looked over at Pinkie Pie. “HELP!”

Pinkie was in shock at the whole situation. She had never seen the murderous pony this distraught over a death. She quickly rushed over though she wasn’t sure how much help she could provide. “What can I do? She’s dead, Slaughter Shy… She’s not coming back.”

Fluttershy dipped her head and buried her face in the soft white fur. A chilling laugh began to radiate from her, a kind of laugh that made even Pinkie Pie uncomfortable and take many steps away. Fluttershy lifted up Vinyl’s head and looked into her dead eyes. She placed the glasses over the eyes and smiled sweetly. “I’m still here, Slaughter Shy. Don’t cry.” Fluttershy said in a crude imitation of the belated DJ’s voice. She lit up her horn and disappeared with the body, leaving Pinkie to look around the hallway with the most puzzled expression.

“What… just happened?” She scratched her leg anxiously and sat down, she was getting a headache of her own now.

Fluttershy popped into her old shed in Ponyville and got to work skinning Vinyl’s body. Tearing the skin from the muscle took an extreme amount of patience and concentration with a small fillaying knife. She tossed chunks of meat, organs, and bones into the corner of the room, her freshly cleaned shoes becoming stained in blood once again. She grabbed a scrubber and hot sudsy water so she could clean the hide, not leaving behind an drop of red. She took the clean hide into her cottage and proceeded to let it dry next to the lit fireplace while she hunted for her sewing kit and a large kitchen knife. She returned to the living room where she immediately began plunging the knife into her sofa cushions and pillow and ripped the stuffing out of them. Bit by bit she filled the hide with the stuffing all while stitching up parts that were ready to be closed. She wound up using every pillow cushion and parts of her old bed to fill the hide up enough to look as if it were now her normal body mass again.

She placed the glasses back over the empty eye sockets and smiled at the stuffed doll, giving it a kiss on the snout. “There. Now you’re all better.”

“Thanks, Slaughter Shy! You’re a real pal!” Replied Vinyl with Fluttershy’s imitation voice.

“Should we go back home now?” She used her magic to make the doll’s head nod. She giggled and teleported them back to the castle. The two of them popped into Fluttershy’s room and she placed Vinyl’s body on her bed. The Princess was about to climb in bed with her when a bark at the door’s entrance stalled her.

Vextra was there, barking and grumbling. “Are you ever going to return me to my normal size?”

“Awe, but you look so cute at that size.” She giggled. Rolling her eyes when he growled in protest. “It’ll wear off in a couple of hours. Go back to your room. And don’t forget to close the door.” The door clicked shut and Fluttershy finally crawled into bed. All the teleporting she’s done today has left her pooped and it hasn’t even been two hours yet since she woke up. She pulled the doll into a tight embrace and batted her eyes at it. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you but I have the biggest crush on you.” She blushed and giggled.

“Really? I was about to tell you the same thing.” Replied Vinyl.

Fluttershy kissed the pony deeply, her mind filling in the gaps and creating the sensation that Vinyl was kissing back. Soon enough her libido kicked in and her abdomen heated up with a desire for lust. Her magic moved Vinyl down to her lower half and the front left hoof rubbed her pink clit. Princess let out small puffs of air, her face burning brightly like a firework. “Oh Vinyl! You dirty girl!” She opened up her nightstand and pulled out a dark blue strap on cock. “Look at what I found in Celestia’s nightstand. She’s not as innocent and ponies make her out to be. I can only imagine who used this on who.” She giggled and winked as she strapped the sex-toy onto the Unicorn’s hindquarters.

They kissed deeply again as the Unicorn continued to stimulate Princess’s vagina, making it become moist. Fluttershy’s hind legs twitching each time her clit was touched by the tender white hoof. Vinyl prepped herself to push the cock inside Fluttershy’s marehood, the tip of it pushing against the opening. This caused the royal pony to blush harder and her heart to speed up. Even though she found out about masturbation not too long ago she still had never had full on sex with another pony before, she was still pretty much a virgin. She’s always heard that it’s painful the first time for girls because of their hymen so to be honest she was extremely nervous for it to enter her. She gripped Vinyl’s front legs hard and gave a wary smile. “Be gentle…” She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as she felt the full length push through her tight vagina, it did hurt but not that much, she made Vinyl stop when the base of the cock met her lips. “Ah… it stings… but I’m okay.”

“Yeah. That’s to happen when the mare is still a virgin.” Explained Vinyl.

She became flustered at the word. She hated that she was still a Virgin, or well was before the cock entered her. ‘But now after tonight that will no longer be a label that haunts me every day.’ She wiggled her lower half and wrapped her hind legs around the Unicorn’s waist. “Okay. I’m ready.”

The tip of the blue cock pushed against her cervix and the squishy cylacone testicles slapped gently against her labias. Fluttershy was still blushing very hard, staring deep into the purple lenses and biting her bottom lip. Vinyl’s hips were moving slowly at first to ensure to let the vaginal muscles get used to the size inside of it. She pulled it all the way out and then back in causing the Princess to let out a series of low moans. The thrusts became quicker, the tip hitting harder against the cervix, and the balls slapping harder felt very pleasurable as well. She was now letting out squeaks and gasps while her eyes closed. Her head was spinning in circles from the whole experience. Masturbation was great but sex was even better. After a while they changed the position from missionary to Roman style (where you lie on your side and they are behind you.) This position felt even greater than the last, it made her open her mouth wider and stick out her tongue as she panted.

“Ah! Ahh! Yes! That’s even better!” Moaned out Fluttershy. Vinyl rocked her hips harder sending waves of bliss through the royal Princess.

The next position they were in was the downward dog. Fluttershy groaned deeply and bit down on the bed sheets. Tears of ecstasy twinkled in her lust-filled eyes. The balls were able to smack against her clit at this angle brining on even more pleasure to her body. “Yes! Do me harder!” She had no idea she was so verbal, it kind of embarrasses her, but all the boasting Rainbow Dash did about her sex life seemed to actually be legit. Sex is just wonderful! It’s just a damn shame she had to wait this long to experience it. Rainbow Dash has been boasting about her sexual endevours since high school. Rainbow Dash… the damn mare whose husband left her with a nasty scar that will never heal. Rainbow Dash, the pony she watched die but is somehow alive and walking. ‘How the fuck did she come back..?’ She growled and started imagining how that whole family is going to suffer slow and painful deaths. All except for the baby, she’ll be taking it under her wing and raising it as her own. Just thinking about bow brutal their deaths are going to be sent powerful waves of lust to her genitals, thus causing her vagina to pulsate. Her body began to take over and rocked its hips back and forth with the timing of Vinyl’s thrusts.

Vinyl pulled out and lied down on her back she put her hooves on Flutterhshy’s hips and carefully guided her so she was hovering above her. Slowly Fluttershy’s lower half eased down onto the squishy blue cock. Princess groaned loudly and bucked her hips. She placed her front hooves on Vinyl’s plush chest and bounced hard on the permanently erect cock.

“Ahh! Ahh! Yes! YES!” Princess screamed out in full on ecstasy. Her body shook like an electric toothbrush until she was in full-blown orgasm then her body shook like a level seven earthquake. Her hind legs locked together instinctively while she continuously moaned until her climax mellowed out. Her front legs turned to rubber and she crashed against the soft unicorn body in heaps of heavy panting. When over half of her strength returned to her she pulled herself off of Vinyl and collapsed in the empty bed space next to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. Falling asleep as fast as she did previously.

An infuriating puff of green light blinked into the dark room causing Fluttershy to groan with disdain and open her weary eyes to see where it originated from, a light-grey scroll lay on the floor just a few feet from her bed. She tilted her head and used her magic to levitate it and bring it over so she could read it.

Dear newly crowned Princess of Equestria:

I’m sure you’ll remember me, your highness. I’m Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the Changeling Kingdom. I must commend you for your ability to take out all four of those rechid good-for-nothing Princesses. And I also must say you’re the last pony on earth I’d expect to do that, you being the former Element of Kindness. You have my utmost respect, Princess Slaughter Shy. Anyway, the reason for me writing you is to ask if we could discuss a possible merger of both our kingdoms. Please get back to me soon, I loathe waiting.

-Queen Chrysalis

Fluttershy had to read over the letter numerous times to fully grasp what it was trying to tell her. “A merger? She wants to combine the two kingdoms into one?” She screwed up her face with disinterest in the idea of sharing her beloved kingdom with someone else, which is why Sunset Shimmer met her fateful end. “Nah, we don’t need to discuss anything, Changeling Queen.” She grumbled to herself groggily, still peeved this stupid note disturbed her slumber. She found it in her to send a letter back to the Queen dismissing her proposal before attempting to climb back in bed and go back to sleep. Not two seconds after the letter had been sent to the Queen a menacing green electrical storm occupied the room, frightening the Princess a bit. She shielded her light sensitive eyes from it’s blinding light until it went away, when she looked back the tall and slender bug Queen with dark green eyes and transparent wings was standing there with a dissatisfied look on her face.

The Queen glared down at the little pony that was rubbing the blinding light’s after effects out of her eyes so she could see properly. Their eyes met and Fluttershy looked a bit sheepish. “I’m not taking no for an answer, not without a civilized discussion, little pony.” Chrysalis hissed with a flick of her dark pink tongue. Her menacing echoed voice bouncing off the walls and making the air in the room grow cold.

Sleep was still trying to pull Fluttershy back down into its sweet depths, she had to blink her eyes a multitude of times to just try and keep herself awake and alert. “Ugh… does it have to be now? I just barely got to bed after a long day’s work.”

Chrysalis just scowled at her, “so you’re saying the time I took to actually come here is ill important to you?”

Princess just rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t take too much to teleport yourself, so what’s the big deal?”

This reply made her growl with anger. “I’m not going anywhere until we discuss the matters of a possible merger with our two kingdoms.”

“Fine. Fine.” The multicolored Alicorn caved with irritation. She led Chrysalis down the hall to the conference room on the lower level. She took a seat in Celestia’s chair while Chrysalis took a seat in Luna’s. There was a few brief moments of awkward silence before anyone spoke.

“So… what exactly do you want to get out of this kingdom merger you speak of?” Fluttershy was the first to ask.

“So I can feed my subjects. The only food they live on is love, and who else has more love to give than ponies? You can’t expect me to just sit back and let them starve. Plus with the ponies you decide to kill why not let my subjects feed on what love they have left before they perish?”

“Uh huh…” She commented boredly, even going as far as letting out a yawn. She still wasn’t keen on wanting to share her kingdom withy anyone. “And what’s in it for me?”

#Princess Slaughter Shy #MLP:FiM #MLP: friendship is magic #mlp creepypasta #pony creepypasta #creepypasta

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