#its not normal for leos mental health and well babies

[sweeneydino]

Behold

Gremlin baby Dai.

Can you and your peepaws resist his creature charms?

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #crossover #tmnt crossover #rottmnt mikey #paper scales au #little dragons au #sketch #character reference #character art #tmnt dragons #rottmnt dragons #dw dai isnt in TOO much pain in the last sketch #he still shouldn't do it tho.. #turtle tot mikey #tmnt turtle tots #turtle tots #rottmnt turtle tots #its normal... ish; his tail stores all his energy which is why its so chonky #its not normal for leos mental health and well babies #it grows back extremely fast #dw abt it #😏

[master-sass-blast]

Release.

Hmmmmm... this thing is solid projection. Whoops.

Summary: You're exhausted. No matter what you do, you can't get enough rest to save your soul. You try to keep up with everything, try to not let the fatigue hinder you

--And then it all comes crashing down.

Pairing(s): Piotr Rasputin x Reader.

Rating: T for depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, and general angst-hurt/comfort vibes.

Set after “It’s Truly Magical,” but this one is special in that it doesn't directly impact the canon. It's sort of a special one-off.

Author’s Note: So, as some of you may have gathered from the tags and preamble, this fic is basically me venting my own frustration.

I've been dealing with some pretty wicked chronic fatigue for the better part of... coming up on a year now, actually. Wow. I didn't realize it'd been that long.

It's made life really hard for me, from everything to eating to doing chores to hanging out with friends to writing. We don't know what's causing it, and we're trying to take care of it through lifestyle changes and making sure I don't exert myself too much (we meaning me, my family, my fiance, and my doctor). There's been a few things that have helped, but by in large it's still been kicking my ass.

I know I was gone for a long time. Part of that was the fatigue making it impossible to write or post. To those of you who are still around, thank you -and I'm sorry. I'm trying my best, I promise.

If you're dealing with chronic fatigue or think you're dealing with chronic fatigue, just know that it's okay that you're tired. You're not lazy. You're not a failure. You're not going crazy. You're not a burden. Your body needs rest, you need rest, and you *deserve* to rest.

Here's a resource on chronic fatigue syndrome and what it looks like.

I hope you're all doing well. Stay safe and wear your mask.

Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie, @girl-obsessed-with-things, @super-darkcloudstudent, @dandyqueen, @leo-writer

It creeps over you. It starts as a wispy, soft cloud, hanging over the horizon of your existence.

And then it grows. Larger, more oppressive. Until you’re fully immersed in it, with no sense of direction or how to get out.

 ***

 You’re not really sure you remember when it started. You’ve always been tired to some extent –anxiety, nightmares, and running on the X-Men schedule will do that to a person.

Exhaustion hits like a brick one day after training. You slump against the tiled wall in one of the shower stalls in the locker room. Water streams down your sweaty face and body while you struggle to make your eyes focused. Shit. I must have pushed too hard.

You manage to get yourself cleaned up and trudge back to yours and Piotr’s home at the back of Xavier’s property. You collapse onto the couch in the living room. Your limbs are stone, too heavy to drag another step. Your body throbs in time with your heartbeat. I need a nap. Just for a couple hours.

You only want to sleep for a couple hours.

You only mean to sleep for a couple hours.

You wake up at nine in the evening, to Piotr gently nudging you.

He tuts, fussing over you like a worried mother hen. “Are you feeling well, myshka?” He presses the back of his hand against your forehead. “You have slept for long time.”

“I’m fine,” you mumble, mind still cloudy with exhaustion. You force yourself to sit up. You jaw cracks when you yawn. “Just overdid it in training today.”

Your husband gently chides you, ushering you into the kitchen so you can eat. “It is important to replenish energy.”

You go straight to bed after eating and sleep for another ten hours.

 ***

 Part of you wonders ‘how did I let this happen? How did I let it get this bad?’

The other part of you wonders if you had any say in it at all.

 ***

 The fatigue starts seeping into other areas of your life as well. Training, grading, hanging out with friends, eating…

You’re so tired. You chalk it up to mission stress, to going too hard during training, to running on weird hours all the time.

You start sleeping through the day to cope. No matter how well you sleep at night or how much sleep you get, you’re always so fucking tired.

Piotr notices the change in your sleeping habits. Because of course he does. It’s ingrained into his very DNA to be an observant, loving nurturer.

He brings it up during dinner one night. “Are you doing alright, myshka?”

“What? Yeah. Of course.” You’d woken up from a nap a couple hours before, and you feel good for once. (You’ll crash a couple hours later.) “Why? What’s wrong?”

“You have been sleeping at odd hours,” Piotr says, stirring his soup with his spoon. “I just want to make sure you are not having mental troubles.”

“I’m fine, baby.” And, on that front, you are. You’ve got your meds, your support system, a home, creative outlets, and a fulfilling –if occasionally dangerous—job. “I’ve just been tired lately, is all. I think it’s the weird mission hours just putting my body clock out of whack.”

“You should try to stay on normal schedule, then,” Piotr points out. He frowns, concerned. “Is not good for mental health to keep odd hours.”

You bristle. You are trying, dammit. You push through training and grading and your obligations every single damn day, even if all you can do is collapse in bed afterwards. Who the hell is he to say that you’re not trying?! “I am, Piotr. You don’t have to micromanage me. I’m not one of your teens.”

Piotr recoils, blue eyes widening. He holds up his hands. “Easy, dorogoy. I am not trying to micromanage. I just want you to be healthy.”

You drop your gaze down to your bowl of soup. Your heart races in your throat. “Sorry.”

***

 It’s like being one of those houses infested with termites. You’re being consumed from the inside out. On the outside, you look fine. On the inside, you’re crumbling away like a sad, dry cookie left in the bottom of the cookie jar for five long, lonely months.

You’ve always been weird. You oscillate between outgoing and reclusive like nobody’s business. You’re a lot like Wade –somewhere between amusing and a nuisance to most of the adults, though most of the teens and kids like you.

(Piotr insists that it’s not true, that everyone likes you well enough, but you’ve never quite had the full faith to believe him.)

No one notices that you’re hurting. No one notices that something’s wrong. No one notices, no one notices, no one fucking notices—

But, to be fair, you hardly notice it yourself.

 ***

 You kind of start to lose your mind, if you’re being honest.

It’s hard enough to keep up with your workload with the mission scheduling –but being tired all the time slams the nail in the coffin. You manage to drag yourself to training on time because it’s mandatory, because it’s important, because it’s for the good of your team, and—

And everything else falls apart.

You spend countless late night hours on the couch cramming through your grading, because you needed to sleep earlier, and the deadline’s only looming closer, and you have to be productive, dammit—

More than once, you drag yourself up to bed when Piotr’s just getting up for the day.

He frowns, forehead creasing. “Myshka—”

“I had grading to do,” you mutter as you crawl back into bed.

He finishes buttoning up his shirt, then sits down next to you. The bedframe groans under his bulk. “This is not healthy, moya lyubov’.”

“I’m fucking working on it, Piotr!” you snap, glaring at your husband. “Just –leave me alone!”

He swallows hard, blue eyes shining with hurt. He looks like a kicked puppy.

You huff and slam your face into your pillow, mostly to hide the fact that you’re crying.

Piotr smooths your hair down, then kisses the back of your head. “Ya tebya lyublyu, myshka.”

You bite down on your pillow and cry harder.

 ***

 It’s more than just being tired.

It’s guilt. It’s enough guilt to fill an ocean. No amount of effort you make is good enough; no matter how hard you try you wind up failing. Or snapping at someone you love. Or being unable to do even the simplest shit.

There’s so much anger, too. At the world, at anyone who points out that you’re not doing well, at yourself. There’s a scream constantly behind your lips, trying to crack its way out of your chest.

You’re failing. You’re trying to scoop up handfuls of sand to keep an entire dune from consuming you, and the grains keep running through your fingers; it practically looks like you haven’t done anything at all, and you’re so fucking tired…

 ***

 The ‘house’ collapses over a load of dishes.

One load of fucking dishes.

It’s ridiculous.

You manage to drag yourself out of bed one morning, trying to get the haze that seems to be a permanent fixture in your mind to clear. You trudge downstairs, energy sapping out of you with every step you take.

You see last night’s dishes in the sink, waiting to be rinsed and loaded into the dishwasher.

It’s an easy task. The dishes aren’t all that dirty, and there aren’t that many of them.

And you can’t do it. You don’t have the energy. You’re just too fucking tired.

You failed.

You crumple to the floor, weeping against the wooden floorboards as the dam you’d been trying so hard to keep stable gives way. You scream, anger and guilt and frustration and self-loathing washing over you, crushing you beneath their weight. You clutch at your hair, seething as the past few months finally come to a head—

And then Piotr’s arms are around you. (Later, you’ll learn that he stopped back at the house to pick up a gradebook, which is why he was even around during the day in the first place.) He scoops you up, cradling you against his chest. “Myshka, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

You sob into his shirt, beyond words.

“Okay, okay.” He checks you over to make sure you’re not visibly injured, then carries you upstairs to bed.

You whimper when he tries to tuck you in. “No –I’ve got stuff to do—”

“It can wait,” he says, loving but firm. He gently tugs the comforter over you, then toes his shoes off before laying down next to you.

“It can’t,” you cry, even as he tugs you into his arms and tucks you against his chest. “It’s already waited for so long.”

“And it can wait longer.” He kisses your forehead. “It is okay, myshka. Rest.”

You snuffle and sob and gasp—

And, eventually, you fall asleep.

 ***

 You wake up to Piotr stroking your hair. You inhale sharply, blinking to cast the bleariness out of your vision. “What time is it?”

“About noon,” he says.

Your heart sinks. “Shit. I’ve got grading—”

He places his arm over your waist, holding you in place. “It can wait.”

“But—”

“You had breakdown this morning, myshka. Health comes first.” He gazes into your eyes, brow furrowing. “Talk to me, moya lyubov. Please. What is wrong?”

Your heart rips into infinitesimal pieces at seeing him so worried –and then you start crying again. “I can’t…” You squeeze your eyes shut and buy your face against his chest. “I can’t. I can’t do it. No matter how much sleep I get, or I don’t get, or how much I exercise or don’t exercise, or what I eat or –any of it. I’m so tired, Piotr.” You let out a choked sob. “I’m just so tired, and I keep failing—”

Piotr rubs your back and kisses the top of your head. “It’s okay, myshka. It’s okay.”

***

 Eventually, you settle again. You’re snuggled against Piotr’s chest, sniffling and sighing while he strokes your hair.

It’s not a bad place to bed.

“How long?” he asks, voice quiet and gentle. “How long have you felt tired?”

“I don’t know,” you mutter, lulled to a state of near drowsiness by his ministrations. “A few months? Maybe a little longer? I’ve always been kind of tired, what with anxiety and nightmares and all that shit.”

He ‘hmms,’ kissing the top of your head. “Have you eaten yet?”

“…does leftover pizza at three in the morning count?”

He sighs, exasperated and amused. “Okay, time for food.”

“I can’t,” you whimper, tears coming back as frustration swells in your chest. “I’m too tired to eat.”

Piotr shushes you, gently drying your cheeks with a tissue. “What if I bring you something?”

You stomach churns with guilt and self-loathing. “I’m not a baby. I don’t… I shouldn’t need people to make food for me.”

“No, not baby,” Piotr agrees, kissing your cheek. “But you are unwell.”

“I’m not sick!”

“Unwell is unwell,” Piotr states, voice brokering no room for debate (though it never loses that gentle intonation of his). “If I bring you food, will you eat?”

You hesitate, then manage a small nod. “Something small, please. I don’t want, like, a whole meal.”

Piotr nods. He heads downstairs, then returns a few minutes later with some toast, fruit, a glass of milk –and some Cheetos.

You giggle when you see the fluorescent orange cheese-snacks on your plate. “You do love me.”

“Navsegda.” He hands the plate to you, sets the glass on your nightstand, then waits for you to start in on your toast before speaking again. “I think you should see Dr. Mccoy about fatigue.”

“But I’m not sick,” you argue after swallowing a bite of toast.

“That you know of,” he corrects. “Lots of things can cause fatigue. Is best to check, to make sure more serious problem is not happening.”

“But…” A lump rises in your throat. “What if this is just me now? What if… what if I’m just broken?”

Piotr takes your hand in his. He presses his lips against your knuckles. “Then we know, and we make life suited to your brokenness.”

“I can’t slow everyone down, Piotr,” you insist. Your eyes burn with unshed tears. “I can’t –I can’t be a burden. It’s not fair to everyone else if I’m getting some sort of special treatment because I’m tired.”

“You are not burden,” Piotr declares, gaze boring into yours. “You are never burden. Understand?”

“Piotr—”

“Things happen, myshka. Sometimes, our bodies just… do not work right anymore. You still deserve comfortable, happy life. Nothing is unfair about that. Nothing.” He kisses the back of your hand again when you sigh, then pats your leg. “Finish eating. We go to doctor afterwards.”

 ***

 The only way out is through.

Who would’ve guessed.

 ***

 Dr. McCoy runs a series of comprehensive tests. Thyroid, allergy, iron deficiencies, vitamin deficiencies, glucose levels—

It comes back negative. All of it.

On one hand, it’s a good thing, given that you don’t have some sort of life-threatening condition that needs treating.

On the other hand, you just feel worse. It’s like proof that you have no excuse, that you’re tired for no reason, and that you just need to try harder.

“You are trying,” Piotr says when you admit as much. He draws you into a hug and kisses the top of your head. “We just need to find tools so that trying isn’t so hard.”

“What if there’s nothing?” you ask in a horrified whisper. “What if we try everything and nothing works?”

He kisses the top of your head again. “Then that is okay, too. However you are is okay, myshka.”

 ***

 “How’s the tai chi going?”

You shrug. “It’s fine.” Nathan had switched you over to low impact exercise the second he got wind of your fatigue issues. “Wade likes to do it with me; we like to try and incorporate lame dance moves into our sets to see if Nathan’ll catch us doing it.”

Alyssa chuckles and shakes her head. “And does he?”

“He definitely did when Wade started doing the worm.”

The two of you laugh together.

“And how’s your task setting going?” Alyssa asks when you both settle back down. She grins when you scowl. “Ooh, I knew that’d be your reaction. I knew you were not going to like it one bit. You keep trying to eat the whole whale, sweetheart. You’re gonna choke!”

“I know, I know.” You sigh, frustrated and dejected in equal measure. “It’s just… hard. I used to be able to do so much more. And now –it’s like my body was stolen away from me.”

“I know, sweetheart. And I’m so sorry. But it’s important that you learn to readjust your scope for what’s reasonable and what’s not. Otherwise, you’re gonna keep spinning yourself in anxious circles –and you’re gonna keep making the fatigue worse by overworking yourself.”

You groan and rub at your face with your hands. “It just… it feels wrong! Like I’m being lazy! I don’t have a reason to be so tired.”

“Sure you do,” Alyssa says, as if it’s that simple. “Your body is healing. You spent a lifetime being traumatized and abused. Your body put itself on hold to help keep you alive. You’ve dealt with your anxiety, depression, and trauma to the point where you’re stable, so now all those years of stress and pain are finally catching up. This is your body’s way of saying ‘hey, it’s my turn!’ So, now you need to listen to it.”

“But what if I don’t get better?” you ask, voice fraying. “What if I’m like this forever?”

She shrugs, tucking her braids over her shoulder. “That could happen; the amount of trauma you went through would be more than enough to result in a permanent presentation of chronic fatigue syndrome. But it could also get better, too. There’s no point in trying to predict the outcome.”

“But if I don’t get better, I’ll have to step down from being an X-Man.”

“There is more to this life than being an X-Man, honey,” Alyssa says, smiling warmly at you. “You have an entire world to discover. You just might have to do it at a different pace than everyone else. Your goal isn’t to get back to being an X-Man. Your goal is to take care of yourself.”

You tuck your knees under your chin and wrap your arms around your legs. “That doesn’t feel like enough.”

“How come?”

“Because it’s me. I have to do more to make up for the fact that it’s me.”

Alyssa points her pen at you. “That’s the anxiety and depression talking. You are more than enough, just as you are. Your worth is not based on your productivity or what you can offer to society. It’s based on your existence as a human being, that’s all.”

You drop her gaze, opting to look down at the ornate, ocean blue rug she keeps in her office instead.

“I want you to keep working on adjusting your goal setting,” Alyssa says as she jots down a few notes in your file. “Three things a day, whether it’s chore, work, or self-care related. Nothing else goes on that list unless you need to remember to do it, like taking your meds. Okay?”

You mutter your assent.

“Attagirl. I also want you to do your positive affirmations. Three times a day, plus whenever you get caught in negative thought patterns.”

You groan and slump down on the couch. “No! Positive affirmations suck!”

“They’re wonderful,” Alyssa fires back, chuckling. “They’re so good for you, so good for your brain…” She laughs when you retch, then closes your file and stands. “Alright, sweetheart. Keep at it. I’ll see you next week.”

Piotr looks up when you walk out of Alyssa’s office. “All done?”

“She’s making me do more positive affirmations,” you grumble (you can hear Alyssa laugh at your admission).

“Ah, is good for you,” Piotr says as he ushers you down the hall. “Good to say truth out loud.”

You retch again. “Not you, too. I need to go find Wade. He’ll understand.”

Your husband chuckles and shakes his head. “Come on, myshka. Back home with you.”

“Why does it have to be so far?” you groan. “It’s so much walking.”

“Are you feeling tired?”

You sigh. “Honestly, yeah. I’m really wiped out.”

Piotr puts an arm around your shoulder in a one-armed hug. “I am sorry, moya lyubov’. Would you like me to carry you?”

“I shouldn’t need carrying.”

Piotr stops. He cups your face in his massive hands, making you look up at him. “Is not about ‘should’ or ‘should not.’ If your body needs help, then you need help.”

You hesitate, but ultimately nod. “Yeah. I’d be nice if you carried me.”

He nods. He waits until you two are outside, then kneels so you can clamber on his back. “Hop on, myshka.”

You loop your arms around his neck. You wait until he has his arms looped around your legs, then point in the direction of your house. “Home, Jeeves.”

Piotr chuckles. “I am transport service, now?”

“Damn right.” You gently slap his burly chest. “Mush. I want Poptarts.”

Piotr laughs again, then sets off across the lawn.

 ***

 You’re not alright. Not technically. Alyssa’s right that you’ve been hurt. Healing takes time, and you’re just beginning your journey.

But you’ve got Piotr. Your family. Your friends. You’ve got Dr. McCoy and Alyssa as professional support. You have a home to rest in when you’re weary.

You’re okay –and on the days that you’re not, you will be.

And that’s more than enough.

#sass writes #piotr rasputin x reader #colossus x reader #*sighs* #well this happened #tw: anxiety #tw: depression #tw: chronic fatigue #not technically canon to the series #the author needed some catharsis #angst #hurt comfort #deadpool fanfiction #x men fanfiction

[the-hidden-writer]

An Odd Family Tree

A series of snippets from the lives of the FitzSimmons family, set post 7x13. Also, the series of events that lead up to the birth of their grandson.

Available to read on AO3 and FF.net.

Comments make my day!

Chapter 26: Ever After

“So please, just tell me once and for all… who did I name my son after?”

Jemma turned to Fitz for help, she truly didn’t know what to say, but her husband was still frozen in his place, his mouth moving but not quite managing to form words.

So it was up to her, then. She took a deep breath- if she was going to tell her daughter the truth, then she might as well tell her everything rather than insult her intelligence.

“Alya, d-darling, do you remember the mission we told you about? The one where we were sent to the future to save the world from getting torn apart?”

Alya was quiet for a few moments before she replied. “I remember.”

“Well,” Jemma continued, her voice sounding as heavy as her heart felt in the unusually tense kitchen, “do you remember how we got back to the present?”

“Something to do with Uncle Enoch, right?” Alya questioned skeptically. She only had very vague memories of Uncle Enoch, but there were plenty of pictures showing the pair together. What she definitely couldn’t remember was him being a robot. He’d always just felt like a part of the family.

“Y-Yeah.” Fitz affirmed. “It is. B-But in order to get us home, h-he-”

“He needed backup.” Jemma said, and Fitz shot her a grateful look. “And so an… um, ally we’d made in the future offered to help. We all thought it was a suicide mission, but we think he ended up getting sucked in by the tiny piece of the monolith that was near him. He came back to our time and timeline too.”

“You never mentioned bringing someone back from the future with you! That’s a huge change to history.”

“We know!” Fitz exclaimed.

“We didn’t mean to.” Said Jemma. “But he came back with us and tried to help us.”

“Tried?” Alya questioned.

“He got shot and had to have emergency surgery.”

Fitz gasped and snapped his attention towards Jemma. “He got shot?! You never told me- oh no…”

Alya looked between them, her face darkening with concern. “Who was he, Mum?”

Jemma continued to purposefully ignore her. “Even after he got shot, none of us really had time for him. We treated him so horribly. I always thought that I did better than the others, but just now I realised that it felt more like an act back then. Like I was obliged to be nice to him. B-But I shouldn’t have…”

She choked back a sob then, and Fitz quickly rushed to her side to comfort her.

Alya couldn’t find it in herself to find sympathy. She glared at them, the same question reflected in her expression.

“You know, he told me once about his family.” Fitz said whilst rubbing Jemma’s back. “He was a… a slave, I think. All humans were in that future. He told me that his mum had been murdered in front of him when he was just nine-” his voice cracked at his own words- “and his dad was sent to die.”

Alya opened her mouth to say something, but Fitz didn’t let her.

“B-But that’s how he learned to survive!” He said, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else. “He came back, started a whole company and was super rich and- and we left him…”

He covered his face with his hands and Jemma gently pried them off his face to kiss his cheek.

“He chose to stay behind.” Jemma reassured. “Without him, we wouldn’t be here, and this timeline might not even exist.”

“What was his name?” Alya whispered again, her skin a sickly pale hue.

Jemma and Fitz shared a look of devastation, because there was no going back or even going forward without revealing the inevitable. The silence in that moment was thick and heavy. It felt like no words would ever be able to cut through it.

Luckily, no words were needed. From outside, Deke’s sudden loud burst of giggles could be heard over Owen’s playful shout of exasperation.

Jemma’s head turned towards the window, though her vision was too blurred with both age and tears for her to focus it properly.

She smiled a wobbly smile.

“His name was Deke.”

Both Fitz and Jemma’s hearts broke at Alya’s cry of anguish. They watched her fall to her knees as she covered her mouth in an attempt to hide her shock. They both had strong instincts to comfort her, she needed it more than they did after all, but neither of them could find it within themselves to do so.

They felt like they didn’t deserve it.

“I-I thought you might have looked into the future or something.” She sobbed. “Not- not this! Not from that future!”

In-sync as always, Fitz and Jemma’s parental instincts broke them out of their guilty stupors and they hurried to their daughter to help her back to her feet.

“He was a hero.” Jemma said as she brushed the dirt off her daughter. “And trust me, once we’d brought him back he was genuinely the sweetest man I’ve ever known.”

Fitz let out a small scoff… that turned into a broken laugh… that melted into a sob.

“You said you left him.” Alya said, wiping away her tears with her sleeve almost childishly. “Where? Why didn’t you go back for him?”

“Our final mission.” Fitz supplied, knowing that his wife’s memories of those final moments of that mission were hazy. “In order to get us back to our timeline from the screwed up one and take all those chronicoms back with us, someone needed to activate the quantum device from the other end.”

Alya gasped with sudden understanding.

“Deke volunteered.”

“That drawer.” Stated Alya. “That’s-”

“All we could find left of him on the Zephyr once it was all over.” Jemma answered. “That tape we used the walkman with is all him. He stole the songs, but that was his voice.”

“I… I don’t believe…”

Her parents didn’t need to be prompted into wrapping her into their arms. They did so, and Alya let them hold her as she shook and cried and mourned.

“Why are you sad?”

The trio turned their heads towards the owner of the little voice, who was standing in the doorway where Alya had caught them. He was fidgeting with his t-shirt again, his brown spiky hair was all tousled and full of mud, and his face was full of such genuine concern that made it look strange upon such a small child’s face.

“Oh, my little monkey.” Alya called, sniffling. “Come here.”

She immediately knelt down and opened her arms out for a confused Deke to run into. Her hands closed around him like a trap that wasn’t going to let go of its prey any time soon. And everyone was fine with that.

“I’m so, so proud of you.” Alya’s voice was muffled by the fact that her face was buried into Deke’s bony chest.

“We love you very much, sweetie.” Jemma said, planting a kiss on Deke’s free hand. “More than you can ever know.”

Fitz ruffled his already messy hair. “Seriously, you’re the best, Baby Deke.”

“I’m not a baby!” Deke stuck his tongue out at his grandad, satisfied that his family wasn’t sad anymore. “Stop saying baby!”

“You’re right.” Jemma said warmly.

Fitz smiled, linking hands with his wife. “You’re our big Deke now.”

The pair noticed that Alya squeezed their grandson tighter. They shared a knowing look.

Deke grinned widely, the gaps in his teeth becoming more clear. There was an air of innocence around him that neither Jemma nor Fitz had ever gotten the chance to see before.

“Thanks Bobo, thanks Nana. You’re the best too.”

~-.-~

Leo and Jemma Fitz-Simmons had thought that they’d gotten their happy ending the very second Alya was born. It had been the happiest day of their lives, despite the team being missing, because they were finally a family.

But since they’d completed the mission that they’d been preparing for years, it had felt like something was still missing. They’d lost Enoch. They’d lost Deke.

They didn’t really have time for mourning back then. They had to set up proper lives for themselves. Raise a daughter and actually live normal lives. Still, that void left by those losses felt like it could never be filled.

At least, that was the case until Fitz stumbled upon Owen Shaw.

Meeting Owen brought them hope. He brought the chance of healing the open wound, of mending something that was permanently broken. Or, in their case, permanently stuck in a disastrous reality that he never should have been in.

It had taken many, many years, but Deke Shaw was finally born and with him that void had started to close. Slowly but surely.

The couple had known since his birth that they would have to tell Alya the truth at some point, but time passed quickly and they didn’t know how to proceed. They grew older and older, but so did Deke.

Alya was angry at first, as any mother would be. But after a lot of explaining, she understood. They gave her the power of telling Owen if she wanted to, and she decided against it. For as much as the memory of Deke influenced her son, she wanted him to be his own person.

Or at least, that’s what she told her parents. But they knew her well enough to know that she was just trying to distance him from the orphaned slave as much as she could for the benefit of her own mental health.

Yet, perhaps for some unrelated reason, the rift that had formed between Owen and Deke began to close. Owen grew closer to his son and by some miracle began to treat him in such a kind way that would never be associated with the boisterous Owen Shaw.

Alya herself had grown almost inseparable with her son. She comfortably changed her job to a part-time position in order to be able to spend more time with him. This extra time allowed her to take him to a dietitian to help improve his physical health. Though his ribs were still visible, he was no longer underweight, and that in itself was a huge achievement to Alya.

She’d also grown a lot closer to her parents. Though for a while they’d been distant due to work demands, they ended up visiting a lot more often and having little adventures in the garden. She knew that they needed support, and she wouldn’t hesitate to give it to them. They were her everything. As was Deke.

Deke, as all children do, grew up too fast. One day he was a mischievous five-year-old, the next he was a mischievous nine-year-old. He was considered a genius in his school and did end up moving up a class. Since he still struggled with making friends though, he fell to his grandparents. He never failed to make them laugh, and would boast to his classmates about how cool his Nana and Bobo were. That they used to be spies!

And FitzSimmons? Well, time passed for them too. Also too quickly. They renovated the Deke Drawer into the Deke Shelf. A shelf in a display cabinet filled with little trinkets in the living room, there for all to see.

They knew that, however much time they had left, they didn’t want to spend it keeping secrets or worrying over loose ends. They’d long since dismantled their lab and all prototypes and equipment within it. Their consciences were free. They were free.

Fitz grew his fabulous grey beard to a ridiculously long length. Jemma convinced him to trim it. This was the sort of adventure they liked now, the sort that involved only laughs and no danger or SHIELD or loss.

And they were happy. They’d had to wait half a century for it, but the universe had gifted them with uninterrupted happiness.

This was their true happy ending.

There will be 2 epilogue chapters following this. Thank you for reading!

#agents of shield #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. #aos #fitzsimmons #fitzsimmons fam #leo fitz #jemma simmons #alya fitzsimmons #owen shaw #enoch #deke shaw #baby deke #fanfic #an odd family tree

[divafm]

    ​    ​   *​    𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨​    𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲​    𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬​    !​    i​    am​    beyond​    excited​    to​    be​    a​    part​    of​    this​    group​    &​    to​    write​    with​    all​    of​    u​    legends​    .​    i​    am​    𝐤𝐨𝐝𝐲​    ,​    currently​    residing​    in​    hell​    angeles​    aka​    the​    pst​    timezone​    .​    i​    go​    by​    feminine​    pronouns​    ,​    but​    u​    can​    also​    refer​    to​    me​    as​    garbage​    .​    under​    the​    cut​    ,​    i​    will​    be​    introducing​    u​    to​    my​    broadway​    baby​    .​    if​    any​    of​    ya’ll​    are​    interested​    in​    getting​    a​    lifetime​    of​    affection​    from​    me​    ,​    &​    possibly​    a​    plot​    ,​    please​    give​    this​    post​    a​    🖤​    &​    i’ll​    be​    on​    my​    way​    .​    

❛    ✶    (    ariana    grande    ,    cisfemale    ,    she/her    )    spotted    !    chantel    demonté    was    spotted    singing    along    to    moon    river    by    audrey    hepburn    in    hilton    grove    .    you’ve    heard    of    them    right    ?    they    are    a    twenty   -   three    year    old    broadway    actress    &    musician    who    has    already    amassed    a    net    worth    of    $120m    .    you    should    really    follow    them    on    insta    @chantel    ,    they’re    about    to    hit    60m    followers    .    the    tabloids    have    been    calling    them    the    prima    donna    because    they    are    known    for    being    +    perfervid    but    also    a    bit    -    sycopantic    .    though    most    people    recognize    them    by    bambi    eyes    twinkling    with    ambition    ,    the    saccharine    scent    of    chanel    n°5    ,    glossy    lips    curled    coquettishly    ,    cherubic    features    radiating    naiveté    ,    &    breakfast    at    tiffany’s    .

*     ◞     𝐢     .     ⤻     𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥     .

𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥   𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.    chantel    satine    demonté    .    𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬).    chanti    ,    princess    ,    baby    ,    etc    .    𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞.    august    second    ,    a    leo   .    𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞   𝐨𝐟   𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡.    milan    ,    italy    .    𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥    &    𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜    𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.    undetermined   .    𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.    an    esteemed    broadway    actress    ,    having    the    productions    of    wicked    ,   funny    girl    ,    west    side    story    ,    hairspray    ,    etc    .    under    her    belt    .    her    talents    extend    further    as    a    musician    ,    with    an    ariana    grande    voiceclaim    ,    having    only    sweetener    ,    yours    truly    ,    &    certain    singles    (    ex    .    adore   ,    quit    ,    etc    .    )    in    her    discography    at    the    moment    .    lastly    ,    a    part    -    time    model    .    with    her    rise    to    fame    ,    &    she’s    been    plastered    on    a    variety    of    pages    in    a    magazine    ,    including    cover    shoots    .    𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲.    american    .    𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲.    italian    ,    french    .    𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐧.    catholicism    ,   not    practiced   .    𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧    𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬.    english   ,   italian    &    french    .    𝐡𝐨𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬  𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞.    slytherin    .    𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬.    ballet    ,    piano    ,    acting    ,   makeup    ,    cheerleading    ,   song    writing    .   𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞  𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨.    rachel    berry    glee    ,    betty    cooper    riverdale    ,    cassie    howard    euphoria    ,    monica    geller    &    rachel    green    hybrid    friends    ,    amy    march    little    women   ,   nancy   wheeler    stranger   things    ,    kelly    kapoor    the    office    .

*     ◞     𝐢𝐢     .     ⤻     𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬     .

a   baby   girl    ,    blessed    of    cherubic    features    ,    was    born    during    the    summer    season    in    milan    ,    italy    ,    which    is    very    much    known    to    be    the    global    capital    of    fashion    &    design    .    her    mother    ,    donatella    demonté    ,    is    a    prominent    fashion    designer    whose    name    is    not    only    regarded    in    the    streets    of    europe    ,    but    across    the    globe    .    her    designs    &    level    of    popularity    is    akin    to    versace    ,    in    which    we    are    all    incredibly    familiar    with    .    the    girl’s    father    ,    stefan    demonté    ,    is    an    intuitive    &     magnetic    man    ,    who    is    notable    in    the    medical    field    for    being    one    of    the    most    dependable    surgeons    in    the    world    .    his    patients    whom    undergo    his    procedures    experience    soaring    success    rates    &    is    described    as    a    modern    asclepius    .    two    of    the    most    eminent    beings    among    the    planet    intended    on    extending    their    prosperity    &    influence    onto    their    successor    ,    chantel    satine    demonté    .  

at    the    age    of    six    years    old    ,    it    was    decided    that    the    family    would    relocate    from    europe    &    into    the    united    states    .    specifically    ,    settle    on    the    island    treading    the    east    coast    ,    in    sun    -    drenched    hilton    grove    .    it    was    baffling    to    the    young    brunette    at    the    time    ,    considering    she    was    foreign    to    american    ideology    &    its    citizens    .    she    fret    on    being    acquainted    with    her    peers    ,    as    well    as    wondering    if    she    will    begin    to    feel    homesick    for    her    native    country    .    as    means    of    introducing    her    to    her    potential    talents    &    aiding    her    in    establishing    a    social    presence    ,    donatella    inserted    the    girl    in    a    variety    of    extracurricular    activities    ,    while    also    enrolling    her    in    the    best    private    school    in    the    area    .    it    was    apparent    from    the    moment    she    melodically    verbalized    in    her    infancy    that    she    was    destined    to    be    a    vocalist    .    whenever    music    was    in    the    atmosphere    ,    her    features    would    brighten    &    a    coo    of    delight    would    emit    from    her    .    this    passion    for    music    led    to    her    involvement    in    ballet    ,    as    a    means    of    expressing    herself    not    only    vocally    but    physically    .    it    taught    her    great    diligence    ,    &    was    the    prelude    to    the    many    pursuits    she    would    acquire    .

by    the    time    she    was    in    her    senior    year    of    high    school    ,    the    damsel    had    blossomed    into    the    prodigy    in    which    her    parents    aspired    her    to    be    .    during    her    four    years    ,    she    had    been    part    of    a    majority    of    the    clubs    organized    on    campus    ,    including    drama    ,    speech    &    debate    ,    french    ,    etc    .    she    received    the    highest    scores    in    her    class    alone    ,    maintaining    a    4.0    gpa    while    also    dedicating    herself    to    cheerleading    ,    exuding    not    only    school    pride    ,    but    pride    within    herself    .    by    this    length    of    life    ,    she    had    been    so    immersed    with    musical    theatre    ,    that    it    was    apparent    that    her    dream    entailed    performing    upon    the    broadway    stage    &    becoming    the    contemporary    barbra    streisand    .    every    morning    to    every    evening    ,    she    envisioned    belting    her    heart    out    upon    that    stage    ,    utterly    absorbent    to    the    applause    &    standing    ovations    to    the    crowds    ,    all    enchanted    to    see    her    .     once    chantel    had    a    goal    ,    it    was    nearly    impossible    to    keep    her    from    reaching    it    ,    whether    it    is    landing    the    lead    in    some    school    production    or    landing    the    part    of    fantine    in    the    broadway    production    of    les    misérables    .    once    she    had    graduated    ,    she    did    not    mourn    over    the    conclusion    of    what    would    be    her    adolescence    .    in    fact    ,    she    embraced    what    would    be    the    commencement    of    the    first    act    to    reaching    her    fantasy    .

*     ◞     𝐢𝐢𝐢     .     ⤻     𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭     .

tw    ﹕    eating    disorder    ,    depression    .

upon    her    arrival    to    broadway    ,    she    accumulated    a    huge    amount    of    success    &    recognition    from    it    over    the    years    .    however    ,    around    last    year    ,    the    innate    perfectionist    had    unknowingly    begun    to    decline    ,    both    in    her    health    &    mentality    .    gradually    ,    she    had    adopted    certain    habits    ,    that    involved    a    decrease    in    her    food    intake    &    lack    of    rest    .     every    minute    of    every    hour    she    was    rehearsing    ,    pirouetting    ,    or    tending    to    other    obligations    .    already    being    so    petite    in    nature    ,    the    reducing    pounds    had    a    dramatic    impact    upon    her    figure    ,    in    which    she    would    conceal    with    oversized    garments    as    means    of    keeping    others    from    noticing    .    though    ,    inevitably    ,    those    in    her    life    began    to    express    their    concerns    for    the    girl    ,    who    could    not    have    appeared    more    exhausted    &    had    been    avoiding    being    around    others    as    means    of    preventing    them    from    noticing    her    apparent    starvation    .

it    wasn’t    until    a    rehearsal    on    one    afternoon    that    the    brunette    had    an    abrupt    collapse    on    stage    due    to    complete    malnourishment    &    exhaustion    .    the    auditorium    almost    instantly    echoed    of    gasps    ,    as    her    fellow    cast    members    &    the    crew    a    sea    of    utter    revelation    .    the    instrumentals    had    ceased    ,    &    there    were    several    of    her    crew    members    sprinting    towards    the    platform    to    get    the    girl    immediate    medical    attention    .    in    a    matter    of    several    minutes    ,    she    was    carried    off    stage    &    immediately    ushered    to    the    hospital    .    an    understudy    swiftly    covered    the    role    for    the    show    scheduled    of    that    evening    ,    as    well    as    the    consecutive    shows    that    followed    .

it    had    taken    only    two    hours    for    the    dismaying    news    to    be    phoned    to    her    parents    ,    who    had    frantically    dropped    everything    in    that    moment    to    go    &    visit    their    only    daughter    ,    whom    had    been    laid    upon    a    hospital    bed    with    her    frail    ,    gaunt    frame    covered    with    a    patterned    gown    .    the    following    morning    ,    she    had    woken    up    ,    &    was    absolutely    devastated    .    not    due    to    the    state    of    her    health    ,    but    the    fact    that    she    didn’t    get    to    perform    that    evening    ,    &    that    an    understudy    would    now    be    in    her    place    .    she    frantically    sputtered    to    her    guardians    that    she    has    to    return    to    continue    the    following    shows    ,    attempting    to    pull    herself    off    from    the    mattress    though    was    immediately    pressed    to    settle    onto    it    once    more    .    she    persisted    ,    insisting    with    heavy    strain    in    her    voice    that    she    was    okay    before    succumbing    ,    fragile    sobs    emitting    from    her    as    tears    stream    endlessly    upon    her    features    .    it    was    a    rarity    for    the    girl    to    feel    a    sense    of    defeat    ,    though    when    she    had    ,    it    was    not    dealt    with    ease    .

that    summer    ,    her    parents    had    no    other    choice    than    to    situate    her    to    the    most    discreet    rehab    facility    ,    one    that    was    remote    to    prevent    the    chances    of    her    being    seen    or    followed    by    the    press    .    she    spent    four    months    ,    completely    abstained    from    communication    with    the    outside    world    .    to    give    the    impression    that    things    had    been    proceeding    normally    ,    her    publicist    would    run    the    girl’s    socials    while    she    was    away    ,    equipped    with    a    variety    of    photos    to    post    &    blurbs    that    resonated    to    her    persona    .

since    her    return    to    hilton    grove    ,    she    has    returned    with    a    nourished    composition    ,    a    glowing    complexion    ,    &    a    clearer    conscience    with    intent    on    focusing    to    write    &    produce    music    during    her    break    period    from    broadway    .    she    is    still    the    same    ,    driven    &    overbearing    primma    donna    who    has    goals    that    are    intended    to    be    achieved    .    she    absolutely    refrains    from    speaking    of    the    incident    ,    as    no    one    but    her    parents    truly    knew    the    situation    &    the    severity    of    it    .    the    way    in    which    things    were    covered    up    remains    suspicious    to    many    ,    baffled    by    the    actresses    sudden    hiatus    from    the    broadway    stage    .    those    who    ask    how    her    summer    was    spent    ,    she    described    it    as    a    very    much    needed    retreat    to    the    tropics    ,    &    how    the    vacation    went    pleasantly    .    she    is    utterly    ashamed    with    what    had    happened    ,    &    would    be    entirely    devastated    if    the    truth    were    to    come    out    .    it    would    indefinitely    tarnish    her    name    ,    regardless    if    she    were    to    receive    pity    or    consolation    .    the    last    thing    she    would    want    is    to    come    across    as    weak    willed    ,    or    appear    as    some    sort    of    failure    .    in    spite    her    body    returning    to    its    healthy    condition    ,    her    mind    still    seems    to    be    riddled    of    melancholy    .    she    feigns    it    with    a    winsome    smile    ,    or    preoccupies    herself    as    a    means    of    distraction    ,    &    is    content    from    time    to    time    though    it    is    all    fleeting    .     however    ,    being    the    superb    performer    that    she    is    ,    no    one    is    able    to    suspect    a    thing    .

*     ◞     𝐢𝐯     .     ⤻     𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚     .

chantel    ,    for    the    most    part    ,    is    a    benevolent    being    .    she    is    wise    beyond    her    years    ,    extremely    ambitious    ,    &    exudes    passion    into    every    aspect    of    her    life    ,    whether    it’s    performing    on    stage    or    in    her    day    to    day    happenings    .    in    spite    being    born    into    a    family    of    prosperity    ,    she    maintains    a    humble    conscience    &    rarely    takes    much    in    her    life    for    granted    ,    knowing    there    are    others    who    are    not    fortunate    .     she    is    an    enthusiast    of    material    goods    ,    though    you    will    not    likely    hear    her    brag    about    them    .    she    tends    to    boast    about    her    accomplishments    ,    if    anything    .    in    a    high    society    where    betrayal    &    deceit    play    a    constant    role    ,    i    assure    you    that    chantel    is    one    of    the    most    loyal    people    you    could    meet    .    surely    ,    she    will    have    her    slip    ups    ,    but    will    always    make    up    for    it    in    the    end    &    do    what’s    right    ,    given    her    moral    code    .    if    you    are    a    friend    ,    family    member    ,    or    even    a    lover    ;    she    will    go    to    the    ends    of    the    earth    to    see    you    smile    ,    as    she    cares    so    deeply    for    those    important    to    her    .    more    often    than    not    ,    she    puts    another    person’s    well    being    before    her    own    ,    &    even    if    she    is    being    mistreated    ,    she    will    make    excuses    or    give    the    benefit    of    the    doubt    as    she    tries    to    see    the    best    in    others    .

while    she    does    exhibit    favorable    traits    ,    i    will    have    to    mention    a    few    detrimental    ones    .    although    she    ,    on    numerous    occasions    ,    comes    off    extremely    narcissistic    ,     deep    down    she    too    can    be    incredibly    insecure    .    as    marina    &    the    diamonds    once    said    ,    ‘    i    feel    like    i'm    the    worst    ,    so    i    always    act    like    i'm    the    best    .    ’    being    the    perfectionist    that    she    is    ,    it’s    very    rare    for    her    to    genuinely    feel    satisfied    with    much    of    anything    .     no    matter    how    many    flattery    remarks    she    is    given    ,    she    always    believes    she    could    be    better    .    she    overexerts    herself    so    much    ,    &    not    many    take    notice    of    this    .    she    sometimes    wishes    someone    would    tell    her    that    she    is    good    enough    ,    that    she    doesn’t    always    have    to    prove    something    to    herself    or    to    others    .    she    also    can    be    quite    naive    ,    in    the    sense    of    taking    chances    on    certain    things    or    certain    people    that    may    not    be    in    for    her    best    interest    .    there    is    also    a    sense    of    delicacy    to    her    ,    where    she    will    put    on    a    secure    facade    ,     though    behind    closed    doors    will    often    shed    tears    .    that    being    said    ,    she    can    be    a    sensitive    ,    though    she    doesn’t    like    to    show    it    since    the    last    impression    she    would    want    to    give    is    that    she    is    weak    .

an    utter    hopeless    romantic    ;    disney    films    ,    specifically    cinderella    &    sleeping    beauty    ,    were    her    shit    when    she    was    a    little    girl    &    still    to    this    day    .    she    would    sit    before    that    screen    &    marvel    at    the    idea    of    finding    her    very    own    prince    charming    .    this    soon    transitioned    to    being    an    absolute    romance    film    /    rom    -    com    junkie    ,    these    films    being    her    lifeline    aside    from    musicals    .    however    ,    she    was    struck    with    a    heavy    dose    of    reality    after    her    first    heartbreak    in    junior    high    ,    &    all    the    heartbreaks    that    followed    .    despite    her    heart    being    crushed    at    every    corner    ,    this    still    hasn’t    deterred    her    from    the    concept    of    love    .    it    makes    excellent    inspiration    for    her    music    ,    &    there’s    no    feeling    that    can    come    close    to    being    in    love    ,    or    being    heartbroken    .    she    is    absolutely    the    type    to    be    greeted    with    a    set    of    eyes    from    across    the    room    ,    from    a    handsome    suitor    whom    could    possibly    be    a    stranger    ,    &    she    would    declare    to    her    own    ears    :    ‘    i    am    going    to    marry    him    .    ’

*     ◞     𝐯     .     ⤻     𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝    𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬     .

while    i    would    eventually    like    to    do    a    separate    post    for    wcs    ,    if    time    permits    it    ,    for    now    i’m    just    going    to    list    a    few    i    have    in    mind    .    ya’ll    can    totally    pick    from    this    list    ,    make    up    a    plot    of    our    own    ,    or    just    totally    go    the    chemistry    route    !    i    am    so    down    for    any    &    everything    .    🖤

𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩.    the    more    ,    the    merrier    .    there’s    no    such    thing    as    having    too    many    friends    .    quite    honestly    ,    she    needs    them    .    any    type    of    friend    falls��   under    this    category    ﹕    ride    or    die    ,    childhood    friends    ,    family    friends    ,    good    or    bad    influence    ,    unlikely    friends    ,    etc    .

𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬.    don’t    necessarily    get    along    ,    but    don’t    hate    each    other    either    .    maybe    they    find    one    another    annoying    99%    of    the    time    ,    yet    still    are    in    each    other’s    company    ??    nothing    too    complicated    .

𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬.    cannot    fucking    stand    each    other    ,    that    it    genuinely    makes    me    laughofjfgovfgjb    .    chantel    feels    compelled    to    choke    them    the    moment    they    walk    into    the    room    .    she    can    have    plenty    of    these    .

𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠    -    𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞    𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬.    chantel    is    an    only    child    ,    so    she    never    had    a    sister    or    brother    figure    to    turn    to    .    can    be    super    endearing    ,    &    i    would    just    love    it    .

𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬.    this    girl    has    probably    had    the    tiniest    crush    on    anyone    at    some    point    .    could    be    former    ,    present    ,    future    ??    could    be    mutual    ,    could    absolutely    not    be    mutual    ;    i’ve    imagined    it’s    happened    plenty    of    times    .

𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐬.    rarely    ever    do    her    unrequited    crushes    become    an    actual    relationship    .    but    ,    when    they    did    ,    maybe    they    didn’t    exactly    end    well    or    maybe    they    did    !    totally    up    for    discussion    as    to    how    &    why    it    just    didn’t    end    up    working    out    .

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.    one    ,    two    ,    three    ,    four    ,    five    ,    six    ,    seven    ,    eight    ,    nine    ,    ten    ,    eleven    ,    twelve    ,    thirteen    ,    fourteen    ,    fifteen    ,    sixteen    ,    seventeen    ,    eighteen    ,    nineteen    ,    twenty    .

literally    anything    else    .

#this is longer than ur man's d*ck but we out here ! #if it's hard to read on my blog then u can add /mobile to the end of the url ! #but ily all & can't wait to write with u 🖤 #tw: eating disorder #tw: depression #hilton:intro

[camillemontespan]

mind over matter [interview with drake walker]

I am rolling about laughing at my attempt to make a magazine cover for Drake. God bless Hugh Jackman as a body claim. Bahahaha. 

On a serious note, this covers mental health. I’m not sure how many of my followers suffer from anxiety, depression and everything in between, but I was thinking about writing something different about Drake and it occurred to me that yeah, maybe he could have suffered from depression at some stage in his life. 

This piece is inspired by a time when I was with my male friends, we had been drinking and they all got really emotional and started talking about how they were actually feeling and Jesus Christ I didn’t realise how sad they all were. Because they don’t talk about it normally.  It took alcohol to get them to open up. So, this has shaped this ‘interview’ with Drake.  Just something a bit different.  This is part serious, part fluff. 

@pug-bitch @jovialyouthmusic @moonlightgem7 @sirbeepsalot  @drakesensworld @iplaydrake @dcbbw @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @ifyouseekheart @carabeth @notoriouscs 

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I am sat outside overlooking the mountains of Valtoria, waiting patiently for the Duke of Valtoria to arrive. I've managed to secure an interview with the notoriously private Drake Walker and honestly, I have no idea what to expect. He often looks serious in paparazzi pictures. He's been known to grumble and not exactly offer a winning smile. I've heard he is fiercely protective of his wife and their daughter and I have also heard that he hates the press. Great news for me.

'Hey there!'

I look around and see the man himself coming out onto the terrace holding two glasses of water. He hands me one and settles down opposite me. 'Sorry for the delay, I was trying to settle Lily down to watch a Disney film.'

He looks.. happy. Smiley. He has a kind face which is a complete contrast to the paparazzi shots that everyone is used to. Drake Walker  is wearing jeans, a red Henley shirt and brown boots.  Broad shouldered, with a wide chest span and veins that stick out of his arms, he is rugged and handsome, which I think is the reason why so many nobles and commoners alike were laughing when he was named the new Duke of Valtoria. He doesn’t look like a typical Duke but I get the feeling that suits him just fine. 

I'm here interviewing him today because he has launched a campaign to promote men's mental heath, which has been named Mind Over Matter. When he first announced the campaign, which centers around men in Cordonia meeting up - Drake included - to go trekking up mountains, kayaking, abseiling, it was dismissed as just an excuse for men to get outdoors and away from family life - Cordonia is very traditional and some might say stuck in the past with emphasis on family and structure, but with King Liam and the Duke of Valtoria at the helm, its becoming thoroughly more modern. That includes encouraging men with depression, anxiety and all mental health issues in between, to get together.

'It's a safe space for men to open up while still enjoying themselves. It's not like therapy where you're stuck in a room talking for 60 minutes about feelings. This is different. While we are trekking up mountains, we talk openly. You forget that it's therapy. It's very freeing. Anyone can sign up and it pushes you to confront your emotions. When you abseil down a cliff side, you feel such adrenaline, like you can do anything. You have to place your initial fears in a box, unpack it then jump off the edge.  It’s a symbol and also literally what we do. It's mind over matter.'

The press have wondered what Drake actually knows about mental health. He sighs, clearly used to this question. 'I had depression when I was younger,' he says. 'My dad had died, my sister left, my mother abandoned me and I was left in the palace with no actual role or identity. I was only known as the prince's friend and honestly I felt I had lost who I was. I had no family and I felt very, very alone. I built up these walls and never let anyone in. I tried to protect myself in the worst way.'

I ask how he got out of it. He smiles sadly. 'I still have my dark days,' he admits. 'days where I think I don't deserve this life, this role, this family. I used to rely on whiskey, I used it as a crutch.  I still drink whiskey but definitley not at the rate I was drinking it two years ago. Anytime I felt a hint of doubt or anxiety, I would block it out with drink. It was a dark period. I'm better now but I do still struggle. I try my best to pull myself back from that, you know? I have to. I have to for my girls.'

His girls are his wife, Duchess Camille, and their four year old daughter Lily. He married Camille, a New Yorker, four years ago and their daughter followed soon after. The Duke and Duchess have proven to be a breath of fresh air for Valtoria, in that they host an Open House every month for their citizens to meet them to discuss issues. They are young and eager to make a difference, which is in stark contrast to other dukes and duchesses who don't seem to do much for their duchies.

I ask if Camille has helped him with his mental health. 'Definitely,' he answers instantly. 'It's weird, on paper, we shouldn't work as a couple. I can be grumpy, pessimistic, sometimes even rude. A dark cloud on the horizon. But she is all sunshine and positivity. God, the amount of times she's been talking to her girlfriends who are having a crisis and she's like, 'Right come to mine, I’ll get the bottle of wine and we'll just unpack everything you're feeling and talk.' Everyone needs a person like Camille in their corner. I'm lucky I have the genuine article.'

Does she encourage you to talk? 'All the time. She broke down my walls and if she sees me going to a dark place, she tells me she is there and I end up just telling her everything. She's really supportive.'

Has family life changed him? 'Definitely,' he answers, blushing. 'I didn't realise how overprotective I can be. I never visualised myself ever sat down with a child - my own child - watching Peppa Pig but hey, it happened. I know all the kids TV shows now, I know the theme songs. Baby Shark literally plays in my head when I’m trying to get to sleep, its so annoying.. '

Drake is notorious for being overprotective. He went to court to ask for a restraining order against the press when Camille was pregnant, as they kept hounding her. He has ensured that paparazzi are not allowed within 8 feet of his daughter, after photographs emerged of Lily playing in the playground. 'That was a complete violation of her privacy,' he says quietly. 'I was sick to my stomach when those pictures were published. We're trying to bring Lily up as normally as possible and when she sees herself on the front of newspapers, she does get confused because she isn't aware of how well known she is.' He sued the newspaper who printed the images and now if the family are photographed in public, pixels are placed over Lily's face.

Basically, you don't mess with family man Drake Walker.

'I like to think most fathers in my position would do that,' he tells me. 'There's nothing I wouldn't do to protect my family.'

We are interrupted by a small, dark haired girl with big brown eyes. It's Lily. She is wearing a pretty red summer dress embroidered with flowers. 'Daddy, I miss you,' she says quietly.

Drake chuckles. 'Do you mind?' he asks me. I smile and watch as Drake lifts her up onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on the top of her head.

I bring the conversation back to his campaign. 'The King is involved, as is his brother. Leo loves outdoor things, he's been travelling everywhere. Give him a mountain to climb and he'll happily do it.' Drake is grinning now, his eyes lit up. Lily snuggles into her father and looks at me warily with those big eyes. She is very delicate and pretty, I must say.

I ask if he has raised money for the campaign so far. He nods enthusiastically. 'So far, 2000 euro and the campaign was only announced last week. Many people have donated and the money is going to be split and given to Cordonian charities who advocate mental health support. You can donate when you see what events we have planned. We’re planning to vlog the things we do, not everything, but say if we’re going to go kayaking, we’ll vlog it on the official website and people can watch and donate. It's a big deal.'

I suggest he creates his own charity. Drake smiles. 'Maybe in the future - ow, Lily, did you just bite me?'

He looks down at Lily who is smirking. She actually has his smirk. Drake holds out his thumb to me. 'My daughter bit me for no reason!'

He nudges her playfully then says seriously, 'What have I told you before?'

Lily sighs. 'Biting is bad..'

'Thank you. Let's remember that from now on, shall we?'

He still pulls her in close and gives her a hug. It's obvious he is wrapped around her little finger.

'Who's the bad cop and good cop between you and Camille?' I ask him, gesturing to Lily. Drake laughs. 'Camille is 100% bad cop. Poor woman. She's so lovely but she always adopts the bad cop role. She complains about why she always ends up as the bad cop and I tell her, ‘Babe, you actively put yourself into that role!’ I'm the good cop. I'm a cool fun dad, huh Lily?'

Lily giggles. Drake winks at me. 'She definitely agrees.' I melt.

'I do tell her off though,' Drake continues. 'I don't want her to be a brat. No, if she does something wrong, I will pull her up on it. It's just Camille is the one who tends to take away Peppa Pig privileges.'

'How do you maintain a normal family life when you've got this world of titles and nobility?'

Drake considers the question. 'You just have to stay grounded and remember where you came from. I think everyone assumed that as soon as Camille and I were made Duke and Duchess, we would become tyrants! No way in hell was that gonna happen,' he chuckles. 'Honestly, we're pretty chill. We have a small household of staff and we have assistants to help with our diaries, but really, we do try our best to just be Drake and Camille. We treat it like a working day. So from 9-5, we're noble, we’re the Duke and Duchess of Valtora. From 5pm onwards, we are ourselves. Camille gets changed out of her usual Duchess outfits and into jeans and an oversized sweater. If the cook has made dinner, she leaves it in the kitchen for us to help ourselves. We are very self sufficient though, I hate the fact we actually have a cook but sometimes it gets so hectic, you need that sort of privilege. In the evening, Camille and I sit out on our balcony, me with a glass of whiskey, Camille with a glass of sauvignon blanc, and we just laugh and talk.'

Do you do normal couple things, I ask. He stares at me, dumbfounded. ‘Well, yeah. We’re a normal couple, of course we do!’ 

I can’t visualise them on date nights or watching box sets. Drake laughs, a deep hearty laugh that is so unexpected. ‘Oh god, we love a box set. We’re re-watching Stranger Things at the moment before the new series starts again.’

‘You watch Stranger Things!’ I exclaim and Drake nods. ‘Yeah! We love that show! Camille adores Will, he’s like her TV baby.. ‘ I try to imagine the two of them sat on the sofa watching the show. It’s hard to see.  Drake continues.  ‘It’s hard to watch anything during the day though, Lily commands the TV when she’s home from nursery. She’s obsessed with The Greatest Showman right now, constantly sings the songs and has the album on repeat. She wants to have her own circus.’

He looks down at Lily and his face softens. 'We want to be normal parents for Lily. We don't have nannies, we are not going to send her to a boarding school when she's older and she was not born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Yeah, she was born into privilege but I really want her to grow up aware of the world. You see so many kids who think chauffeur driven cars and fancy houses are the norm. I want her to be a child first, daughter of a Duke and Duchess second.'

Drake is originally from Texas while Camille is New York born and bred. Do the family visit the States often? Drake nods. 'We've got a brownstone in New York and we see my mom every summer. Texas is really important to us.'

Drake and Camille got married at the Walker ranch in Texas and although the press wasn't allowed, a photograph was released, with Drake and Camille's permission. It showed the newlyweds at their first dance and Drake has dipped Camille down near the floor and kissing her. It's a candid, beautiful moment that was caught on camera forever and published on the front page of The Valtorian Herald. 'We allowed that photo to be released because we wanted our duchy to see us as actual humans, not these stuffy nobles. It was kind of like an introduction to us.'

It is clear that Drake isn't comfortable with being a Duke. Not that he doesn't like the role, he stresses, 'with my position, I can use my platform to reach out to people about things that matter and they will listen,' but the fancy title and the trappings that come with that don't seem to sit right with him. I've interviewed many dukes in the past who show me their yachts and horses, keen to show a life that I could only dream of. Drake doesn't do that. ' I'm not materialistic in the slightest,' he admits. 'I would be happy living in a cabin in the woods with my wife and daughter if given the chance. Hell, maybe one day..'

His wishful thinking could come across as ungrateful, except the way his eyes light up when he talks about living in cabins and being outdoors actually makes you smile. He may be a Duke by name but underneath, he is still Drake Walker.

I ask him where Camille is today. He smiles proudly at the mention of her name. 'She's visiting the children's hospital this morning. She adores children, honestly.'

I joke that maybe she is planning to add to their small family. Drake smiles bashfully and holds Lily a little closer. 'She wants a whole brood,' he says. 'Maybe soon, who knows..'

He looks like he's gone into a daydream so I clear my throat to bring him back to earth. He turns red and runs a hand through his hair. 'Sorry!'

Lily clambers off his lap, repeating the word 'cookie...' Drake stops her. 'Have you finished your breakfast?'

She nods. Drake raises an eyebrow before saying, 'Fine.' Lily beams and runs back into the manor. I ask Drake if the King will be climbing mountains for the mental health campaign. Drake nods, amused. 

‘All the guys I know are getting involved. I've even got the Beaumont brothers taking part. Maxwell has told me he's packing every kind of snack he can fit into his rucksack and Bertrand.. Oh god, Bertrand.. I imagine he will be like an army captain shouting orders and telling us we've had enough rest. Or, he will be a baby and crawl up the mountain.  There will be no in between with Betrand. Leo and I have a bet on to see how long he lasts.' He chuckles, showing he's just teasing the Duke of Ramsford.

They are a close knit group. Many paparazzi shots have been taken of Camille and her friend Hana Lee walking down the street grabbing coffee to go. Maxwell Beaumont has an Instagram account which boasts 1 million followers, which shows images of his everyday life - Drake and Camille are rarely in his photos as the couple are so private, but Maxwell does occasionally post photos of Drake and Camille when they are attending royal events, captioning them with descriptions such as 'I LOVE Camille's dress here!' or, the photo that went viral a year ago showing Camille talking to the King and Drake was just looking at her with a dopey smile on his face. Maxwell captioned it, 'THE FEEEEEEELS!!' and the photo was posted everywhere. Drake groans. 'It trended on Twitter. It became a meme. Memes saying: Find a guy who looks at you like Drake looks at Camille.' Camille was laughing so much, she thought it was sweet.'

I assume Drake doesn't like to show off his tender side. He stiffens and bites his lip. 'I only really show that side of myself to my wife. That's what I need to work on and try keep my walls down. That's why I need this mental health campaign too, to show me its also okay to be open and it's okay to talk about feelings. Men are taught that they have to be macho all the time and it's unhealthy. It needs to change and men need to talk about how they feel otherwise they will feel alone and that's why suicide rates in young men are so high at the moment. I hope I can change this and also learn from it myself.’ 

We are interrupted by the appearance of Lily again. She comes out onto the terrace holding out three cookies. She hands me one shyly then gives one to Drake, before climbing back onto his lap. Drake grins at me. 

‘See, my daughter may bite people but at least she’s got manners and gifts you cookies.’ 

He brings her into a bear hug and I decide to wrap up the interview there. He stands up to give me a hug and I try my best not  to inhale his woody, masculine smell. He walks me back to my car. ‘Thank you for interviewing me,’ he says. ‘I don’t usually have interviews but since Mind Over Matter was launched, I want to get it out there. So thanks.’ He shoots me a bashful smile and waves me off as I pull away from the drive. 

As this issue goes to print, Drake has raised a further 4000 euro and the group of men signed up to the campaign has doubled in size. Maxwell Beaumont videos the group as they hike up mountains, kayak down rivers, abseil and build campfires. Drake is in the middle of it all, getting stuck in and talking about his mental health. He looks at peace and you can tell he is in his element. This is the Duke of Valtoria but more importantly, this is Drake Walker. 

#drake walker #the royal romance

[leelee10898]

Necessary Roughness

Pairing: Maxwell & Stephanie

Rating: Erotica.

We asked, you voted. The prompt: "You're going to regret that, sweetheart. The pairing I got was our favorite Beaumont's Stef and Max. A little naughty advice from fifty shades of Leo, we find these two love birds in some dominant territory.

This is from the CGW(CORDONIANS gone wild AU) a collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @cocomaxley @riseandshinelittleblossom and myself.

Stephanie and Maxwell walked through the palace halls heading towards Alicia and Leo's quarters. Alicia was craving Lasagna,  with Pam, Genevieve, Liam and Anitah gone for a mental health conference. They invited Drake over, but he declined saying he wanted to go to the lake for a dew days and get some fishing in while Pam was away. Rashad was in the States for a few business meetings, and Stef and max gladly accepted.

“Are you going to completely ignore the conversation we had in the car Stef?”

“That was the plan, Max. When somebody is tired of talking about something, the tend to ignore it.” She rolled her eyes.

“But don't you think-” he was cut off by Stephanie knocking and Leo promptly opening the door.

“Hey guys, come in. Alicia has made entirely to much food, so I hope you're hungry.” He grinned as he moved aside, letting them in.

They sat down at the table, Alicia giving them salad to start followed by the Lasagna.  

“Man Tiger Lily, this is really good. Can I have some more?” Max danced in his seat. "You always want more." Stephanie mumbled to herself. Leo arched his brow at the two but kept quiet.

After a few jabs at each other finally Alicia spoke up. “Ok you two, you've been going at each other all night, what gives?”

“Its nothing.” Maxwell said quickly.

“Nothing? You seriously gonna say it's nothing?” Stephanie seethed. “Well, Maxwell is insisting-”

“Sex! It's about sex.” Maxwell hollered out causing Leo to choke on his drink. He took a minute to compose himself “If its a sex problem, maybe we can help.” Leo smirked resting his hand on Alicia's thigh. “yeah, you know one of us is pretty much a sex addict.” She giggled.

“One of you?” Stephanie snorted. “Bless your heart. I would definitely say Leo met his match with the sex drive.”

“its true, she's always ready. And we can't get enough of each other.” Leo smirked as he pulled Alicia in for a kiss.

“So what seems the be the issue?” Alicia Rolled her eyes at her husband.  

“Oh no real issue.” Stef pushed a piece of food across her plate. Alicia noticing Stephanie's hesitation to speak about what was bothering her.

“Stef, help me clear the table?”

Stephanie stood up and the two took the dishes to the sink.

“Ok, what gives?”

Stef let out a long sigh. “ I want him to change it up in the bedroom.”

“meaning?”

“Meaning I want him to be a little more dominant. Don't get me wrong, our sex life is amazing and all.” she chewed the inside of her mouth trying to find the right words.

“You want him to be a little more rough and controlling?” stephanie nodded.

Leo and Maxwell sat at the table, Maxwell mindlessly drumming his fingers.  “Ok man, spill. Whats going on?” Leo said pulling him from his thoughts. Max sat up in his seat. “You know you might just be the person to help me with this. You see, Stephanie asked me to choke her last night while we were in the middle of..” He trailed off.

“And you didn't?”

Max shook his head no. “I couldn't. She wants me to be a little more Dominant.”

“Ok breath play isn't a big deal Max. Just not to tight, and not to long. Wait a little before she climaxes to do it. Obviously if she's turning blue you're grip is to tight.” He chuckled.

“Also, put some authority in your voice when you're commanding her. Do not let her take any of the control unless you are telling her to, not asking. That's part of being dominant. And don't do it all the time. She is your wife and you will know when to play the card.” Maxwell sat there absorbing all of the information Leo continued to rattle off to him, nodding his head.

He was a little dominate in the bedroom already, but this was just the push he needed to rock his little rose buds world.

“Thanks Leo. I think I know just what I need to do.” Max stood abruptly “Stephanie, were going.” Stephanie glared at him “Maxwell, i was talking to-” “I said Now.” He barked. Stephanie stood in silence, stunned by her husbands sudden change. She grabbed her purse and said goodbye as Alicia and leo shared a knowing look.

They walked down the hall when Stephanie stopped abruptly “Maxwell,  that was rude. I was talking to Alicia and.” She was cut off by his lips meeting hers in a firey kiss. She placed her hands on his chest pushing him back. “Maxwell,  what the hell has gotten into you?”

He cocked his head to the side, his eyes dark with desire.  he licked his lips with anticipation as he grabbed her hand pulling her into a vacant room. “Clothes off, Now.” He demanded as he unfastened the buttons of his shirt, his eyes never leaving hers. She stood there stunned, she could feel the heat pooling in her wanting center. She didn't expect this from her normally carefree, go with the flow husband. “Don't make me rip them off red, clothes off, now.” He barked. She mindlessly pulled her shirt over her head and stepped out of her skirt, standing in only her bra and thong.

in a second maxwell was on her. His lips crashing against hers, their tongues tangling together like their lives depended on it. His fingers diligently worked to un fasten her bra, his lips leaving a fiery trail down her jaw to her neck, as they brushed across her now bare shoulder. He pushed her back against the wall, his lips making their way lower. “Max.” She breathed out as he left open mouthed kisses on both of her thighs. “Quiet. I didn't say you could speak.” He barked sending a jolt through her core, she whimpered out at the sensation he was goving her, and he hadn't touched her yet.

He lifted her leg, draping it over his shoulder. His fingers slipping between her wet folds. “mmmm that's so sexy. You like it when I touch you there. Hmm Rose bud.” He rasped out, a sudden flood of heat flooding to her core as he slipped two digits inside her wet center, his plush lips gently nipping and sucking her sensitive bundle. “Mmmmm fuck Max. Im gonna. Ooh fuuuuck.” She screamed as his long fingers pumped that perfect spot, a gush of her sweet nectar rushed out, he lapped up everything she gave him “Mmmm so delicious. You taste so sweet my Red. Wouldn't you agree?” he moaned as he lowered her leg and  slipped his fingers into her mouth. His eyes locked on hers as she sucked his fingers, releasing with a pop. A shiver rippled through him, his length desperate to escape its confines.

Something in her flipped she was craving him. She dropped to her knees, undoing his pants,letting them drop to the floor. She grasped the waistband of his boxers and yanked them down.  Her hand gripped his hard cock as she slowly pumped him a few times, her tongue swirling the tip teasing it a few times before parting her lips taking him in. He threw his head back, a deep guttural growl escaped his lips as his hands tangled in her strawberry locks. She bobbed her head, fast as she flicked her tongue against his length. “Fuck. Fuck rosebud. That feels. So. Ah. Fucking. God.” he moaned out as he watched himself disappear inside her mouth.

He wait a few minutes basking in the pure pleasure he was feeling “stef, stop baby. I'm not gonna last much longer,  I need to feel you.” he helped her up, his lips capturing hers as he lifted her up, carrying her to the bed and putting her down. His body hovering over hers he gripped his hard cock,  teasing her with his swollen tip. Stephanie bucked her hips into him, needing to feel the friction. “eh eh, red. Good things come to those who wait.”

“But. But Maxieeee.” she pouted he lifted a finger to silence her “Shhh. I didn't say you could talk did I?” he smirked as he pressed his hard length against her throbbing core, teasing her. “You're gonna regret that sweetheart.”

He gripped her hips slamming into her, Stephanie yelped at the sudden intrusion. “Do fucking tight, my rose bud. Always. So. Tight.” he bucked into her with force. He lifted her legs, letting them drape his shoulders. He gyrated his hips, Stephanie could feel her coil tightening as she gripped the sheets. “Fuck, Maxwell. Oh baby. Yes. Don't stop.” she moaned biting her lip.

“I won't stop until you're screaming my name. Come for me Red. Let me hear what I'm doing to you.” he picked up the pace, he pumped into her with fast, hard thrust. “Max, right there. God Yes. Oh fuck Maxwell.” she moaned as he slammed into her, his finger slipping between her legs, rubbing tight, fast circles against her clit, his free hand loosely around her throat. That was all it took.  “Yes, Yes. Max, fuck Yes maxwell. Oooooooooh Fuck!” She screamed as her coil snapped, she was seeing stars as she came completely undone, her juices fully coating his length. “Fffff fuck, stef.” His eyes rolled back in his head as he spilled himself inside her with a loud groan and a jerk, collapsing on the side of her.

They laid there catching their breath, both covered in a sheen of sweat. “Max, that was. I don't know what that was but it was-.”

“Hot?” He finished for her.

She nodded her head as nuzzled against him. “Ok, you win.” she sighed. He lifted his head arching his brow. “I win? You don't mean?”

“Yes Maxwell,  you can get the Emu. But it stays in Valtroia deal?”

“Deal.” Maxwell grinned as he leaned down kissing his wife.  “We should ah. Probably get going, i'm not really sure who's room this is and we kind of made a mess.”

The two dressed and quickly slipped out of the room and down the hall. They heard the clicking of a pair of heels stop and the sound of a door opening behind them. “What the hell? Who did this?” they heard the shriek of a woman come from behind them. “Uh oh.” Maxwell said as they rounded the corner. “What is it max?”

“I ah. Know whose room it was.” He let out a sheepish chuckle. Stephanie looked at him intrigued.  

“It was Madeleines.”

Tag: CGW: @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @rainbowsinthestorm @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lynne1993 @coldcollectornight08 @be-still-my-aching-heart @dcbbw

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#cgw gets frisky #cgw squad #cgw #cgw trr #cgw trr au #cordoniansgonewild #cordonians gone wild #stef x maxwell

[fledgeling-heroes-r-us]

Side Swapper Introduction: Shadow Weaver

Introduction Name: Daesii Ta’arkin Soelle Also Known As: Tarquin Soul (originally by Cynthia, later his human world alias and preferred name), Tarq Age: 17 Birthday: January 28th Species: Hybrid. Half shadow meister, half feldarhl Blood Type: Unknown Astrological Sign: Aquarius Gender: Male Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual Past/Bio: Tarquin was born as the second son of Crothe, king of a dimension named Death Valley, and his second wife. The two were forced to marry and produce a child by the kingdom's council, in an attempt to strengthen the meister species as it suffered from plague. As he was an unwanted child, he sometimes found it difficult to bond with his parents, and bonded better with his father and his brother's mother than he did his own mother, though this was likely primarily due to the fact that the valley was having an extreme negative impact on his mother's mental state. Having the ability to sense life and death, and considering the poor state of his kingdom, Tarquin also found life in the valley to be emotionally damaging to him, despite the fact that he knew nothing else. Being royalty in a time of unrest, Tarquin and his family were targets of abduction and assassination attempts, and when the culprits were caught they were often tortured for information and then executed publicly, things Tarquin either witnessed first hand or was aware of anyway due to his sensory abilities. As he ended up being susceptible to the plague sweeping his home dimension, Tarquin was often kept isolated, only allowed to see his tutor and parents at set times of the day, though his elder brother often broke isolation to see him. When he was seven, his older brother told him about the stories his human mother had told him of her home, and how it sounded like a paradise, and how shadow meisters could open rifts to that world. Okolio, the elder brother, took Tarquin to this world to start a new life, as both of them found the valley to be a disturbing and scary place. Earth honestly wasn't that much better for them, being a loud, bright and confusing place with overwhelming sensory input, and, being children, they clearly hadn't thought things through and had to go from living in a palace as royalty to trying to survive on the streets. Eventually, their behaviour on the streets and their abnormal appearances had them catching the attention of others, specifically three other super powered youths, around the age of Okolio. Two of these three teenagers, Nolan and Edward, wanted to become vigilante heroes for reasons Tarquin never really understood, and convinced the other three boys to join them in their dumb hero work. The team even was vaguely successful, for a group of stupid kids playing hero. They did actually stop a few crimes here and there. This all ended when a pro hero by the name of Greenfield slaughtered Okolio during one of the kids' 'missions'. Unable to do anything but bear witness to the murder, Tarquin began to think about tracking down the man who killed his brother and getting revenge. The others in his team were unable to get him to come away from this new obsession, and the team as a whole began to come apart at the seams. Eventually, during a particularly nasty argument, Tarquin lost control of his powers, causing severe injury to the self-appointed team leader, Edward. He later died from his injuries, and Tarquin fled. He later joined a school claiming to aid those with powers, hoping to learn to control them. This is where he had his first encounter with the heroes, who had infiltrated the school after a tip off that the school was actually a cover for a group wishing to capture subjects for experimentation, similar to if not the same as the facilities that held Luca or Ruby Dagger. Tarquin himself never learnt their plans, and wasn't at all interested in the deeper secrets of the organisation. He was just there to learn to control his powers. When the chaos kicked off, rather than lend anyone a hand, he used his powers to make a getaway. From that point on, his clashes with the heroes tended to be as a result of him causing trouble, either due to poor power control, committing crimes to survive or as part of his drive to track down Greenfield. Plus, he just now generally had a petty dislike of heroes, so he liked causing them trouble. When he finally did manage to track down his brother's killer, he found himself very ill equip to deal with him or take him down, and came away from the resulting fight badly injured. In moments, it seemed like everything had changed, as Greenfield put a bounty on his head in the underworld and he found himself being hunted. Injured, starving and scared, with nowhere to turn to, in desperation he fled to Circle Headquarters to beg for help. Being good people at their core, the heroes agreed to help him. In time, he agreed to help save others again, and was drafted into a new hero team, where the other heroes on his team could watch over him and make sure he behaves. About Him/Her Personality: Tarquin is a quiet person who finds it difficult to trust others. He wants to see the good in people, but is so used to people baring their worst that it is difficult to see past that. He has low self-esteem due to his poor health and lack of control, and never truly learnt how to deal with his emotions. His powers make him quite sensitive and he finds he is easily upset. Regardless of this, due to his shy nature and lack of trust towards others, Tarquin prefers not to burden others with his concerns or worries, and tries to keep himself to himself. He finds himself often thinking along one train of thought in an almost obsessive nature, and struggles to change focus. Occupation: Hero, crown prince of Death Valley Likes: Shiny things The dark Picture books Plants and animals Photographs and the memories they hold Dislikes: Greasy food Loud and chaotic environments People who try and pry into his personal life Sweet food and smells Himself, probably Hobbies: Sightseeing, learning new things Fears: Death, mostly. Also one time Nolan showed him what Pokemon are. He finds them terrifying and is glad they are only fictional. Due to all the death he sensed at hospitals in his home dimension, he also finds being in and around medical buildings and rooms makes him very uncomfortable. Strength: Tarquin knows his limits well and knows when he can and cannot push himself. His sensory abilities help with stealth and allow him to avoid detection. Weakness: Tends not to mention important information, such as dietary requirements, which leads to his poor health. His inability to trust others causes problems of its own, as does his obsessive personality. He also has poor control over his own powers, which can easily cause him to accidentally harm his own allies. Talents: Tarquin isn't sure what his individual talents are. He's sure everyone has a talent or two, but no-one's ever called him talented for anything involving not using his powers. Appearance Height: 6'3 Cup Size: N/A Skin Tone: Powder blue Eye Color: Blue Hair Description: - Color: Black - Highlights: N/A - Length: Shoulder length - Style: Shaggy, unkempt - Worn: Loose Extra: - Scars: Tarquin's scars are mostly across his arms and torso, and so are most commonly covered by clothing. - Piercings: Nasal stud on the left side. - Tattoos: N/A - Facial Features: As a carnivore, his teeth are very different to those of a human. If they were to be compared to an animal, they would be most like those of a feline. - Scent: Well, his breath probably smells a bit vomity...otherwise I don't normally think about what my characters might smell like. Whatever the others wash his clothes in and whatever body washes are available, tbh, he doesn't care. Then again, tea tree and mint shampoo has a really nice smell to it in his opinion, so maybe that. - Other: Underweight, black claw-like nails. Relationships Father: Crothe Mother: Noth Siblings: An older half-brother named Okolio, and a younger half-sister named Viahar Relatives: Step-mothers Cynthia and Han-Linn Best Friends: Unsure. He supposes he would consider Whisper and Hex to be his closest friends at the moment. He also is very fond of Persephone. Friends: The other members of his team, certainly. Love Interest: Whisper, Persephone (formerly), Lolyo (formerly) Hero Information Code/Hero Name: Shadow Weaver Place of Origin: Death Valley, Shadow Dimension Residence: Australia Affiliations:  Teen Titans, Circle, Hellwing Academy Team Mates: Whisper, Hex, Crayon, Zhen, Astral, Shard, Beacon, Luca (current team) Leo, Lolyo, Demon, Edward (Old team) Mentors: Potentially the members of his previous team would count, as well as the members of his current team. Allies: Circle and Squad. His allies as a villain are probably all gone now. Enemies: The main one is probably Greenfield. He's also pretty sure Nolan has been manipulating him for ages and he's also just made loads of enemies in general. Powers and Abilities: Flight, shadow manipulation, electrokinesis, the ability to open rifts between worlds and the ability to sense lifeforms, but not identify them - for instance, he could tell you a building is occupied, but not if it's occupied by people or vermin. His ability to sense life also doubles as an ability to sense the moment of death. Weapons: None Transportation: Prefers to travel on foot or via his powers, but will travel by vehicles if he must. Extra Information Quotes: "I can't trust them not to hurt you...that's the problem." "We don't need subtle!" Theme Song: Never Turn Back - Crush 40 Food: Beef, beef is good Drink: Plain water Color: Baby blue Animal: Birds Flower: Imperial Hysen, a flower native to his home world. They are a rare, large plant that grow few and far between. Their leaves are small, and of a very pale green colour, and the flowers that grow are large and can come in dark pink or powder blue with layered petals. Season: Spring

#original character #character file #Shadow Weaver (Tarquin Soul) #heroes #villains #Jinx Characters #side swappers #runaway prince trope go brrrr

[bi-lullaby]

I already sent you the list of male characters, so here's a list of our amazing GA women to try to rank from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed! :) Meredith, Cristina, Bailey, Izzie, Callie, Lexie, April, Jo, Arizona, Maggie, Amelia, Teddy, Addison, Erica. Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers! I realized while typing this that overall I love the way GA writes its female characters a lot more than its male ones, btw

Oh honey, same! Here’s my list, whoch has some Solid Reasons but the main one is who makes me recreate this gif:

More enthusiastically, which is very personal, otherwise by level of awesomeness it’d be, like, a 10-way tie!

1 - Meredith. I feel in love with her in the first ep and that has only grow exponentially over the last 15 seasons. Is she perfect? As far for it as possible. She can be harsh and inconsiderate of other people’s feelings, she can be arrogant and agressive. I know that. But I also feel she’s the character who’s the most aware of her own flaws and who actively tries to overcome them. Her whole relationship with Derek was a six season long of her working over her issues until she felt ready to be more intimate and close to someone and marry him. I feel like everyone is a little too harsh on her (main character curse). Every other person on the show is allowed to have bad days, to lash out and mourn and be sefish whrn they’re going through a lot (i mean, Amy has a whole speech to Mer about how “she’s never lost the love of her life” and “she doesn’t know how that messes a person up, and yet I see so many people agreeing with that and hating Mer when she was the one in Amy’s position and also took some less than stellar, hurtful decisions) but Mer, who has quantitatively gone through the most (not a competition because I feel she, Jo and Amy are on equal footing, just by sheer number of bad things), is called whinny, bitchy, cold, uncaring, when she is anything but! She cares so freaking much she’s willingb to go to any distance! Donating her liver to her stranded father because of her loved little sister? Risking her job and career for someone she loves? Risking her life/career/license for patients? Welcomig people in her home with open arms? Operating through a miscarriage while her husband lies dying on the next OR? Being a great friend who defends, sticks by, forgives, comforts and protects who she loves from abusive exes, jail, judgment or tests? She has done all that and more. Also, she’s so empathetic/compassionate! She refused to bet on George’s failure on season one, she was the only one to try and shield that “tumor pregnancy” patient from judgment, she was the only one (not her best and oldest friend or hes husband, Mer) to get Jo to talk after she became depressed, she defended Cristina’s choice to Owen even if that was not what she’d personally do (she had tried so hard for a baby! She went out of her way to adopt Zola!) not just because she had empathy for the fetus that would grow to mimic her own situation, but for the woman who would mimic her mother’s (also, low-key one of the best speeches, damn)! She feels everyone’s pains and tries her best to help! She’s dorky and fun and smiles so often, no matter how bad her life has been! She pushes people to be their best (Alex, Cristina, Jo). She’s a great teacher! Also, one of the things that make me the softest is how she recognizes the flaws in her upbringing and tries her best to correct them and not continue that bad cycle with her own children! When she’s mad and needs to be alone, she tells Zola “you’re perfect, and mommy needs a minute”. When she’s dating, she puts her kid’s feelings first and foremost! When she’s away from them, she misses them like crazy! She talks about them with a brilliant, vivid smile! All of her relationships are fantastic (she’s such a people-person, as much as she tries to cover it up and doesn’t know how to truly express it) and some criminally underrated. She’s a kind, brilliant, loving, still flawed, beautiful woman who deserves the world and more, and I’m on Meredith Grey’s defense squad from now till forever!

2 - Arizona. As a bubbly blonde wlw who’s interested in being a pediatric surgeon, has authority+parental issues and an older sibling she loves, Arizona is one of those “I see myself in them” characters that just make me so happy! I felt both represented and inspired to try my best, to be at the top of my game but jot let go of my humanity and compassion and happiness. It’s weird because I didn’t quite like her in the first few eps she appeared, as she was rude and biphobic and kinda crass. Then she grew on me enormously. I think her relationships are all so criminally underrated, and that she should come back with Callie and Sophia and April in tow and make my day. I suffered when she suffered, and when she smiles, I feel lighter and happier, truly! She showcases some important messages! I have said this in a previous post, but I love that she... Came into the show and left pretty much the same. Her arc wasn’t as much about change as it was about finding herself again, glueing her pieces back together again. She entered a bubbly, hardcore, brilliant peds surgeon who had a very strong, clear set of values, was able-bodied, enamorated with Callie Torres and didn’t want to have children, out and proud and beautiful. She left a bubbly, hardcore peds+fetal surgeon, a mother, with a very strong, clear set of values, woman with a disability, enamorated with Callie Torres, out and proud and beautiful. Some things changed and she grew, like any healthy, normal human being, but seeing her get lost in such a dark place where so litte of the true Arizona showed through and then have her come back to who she truly was, stronger and wiser and more determined, really puts out a hopeful message that I adore.

3 - Amelia. Has she been inconsistent? Did they apparently slap the tumor storyline on her already suffering character just to make up for it? Yeah. But overall I completely adore Amy. She has been through so much, so repeatedly, and I’m amazed at how she’s still... Such a deeply good person. She smiles and laughs and cares and helps and works and saves and emphatisazes and worries and loves. She’s adorable with children and so loving with Mer’s. She’s kind to the point of almost being a pushover, but knows when to stand up for herself. I adore her and Mer’s relationsjip and wish it was a lot more developed! I love those two strong, tragedy-plaged women having each other as a support system! I love how soft she is with Maggie, how she’s so considerate of her! I love how she fughts to be in Leo’s life! I love how she worries about what’s best for everyone! And I hope she has a lot of good coming her way those next seasons. She deserves the world.

4 - Maggie. She’s such a breathe of fresh air! She’s bubbly and awkward and stuttering and idealistic and worry-prone! She is learning! She feel so real, so relatable! Can she be annoying? Sure! A lot of the times! I have been annoyed with her a lot! But there are so many characters who have that flaw and worse and are so loved, why is she so scorned? Being brilliant, young, still figuring things out, hard-worker, sensitive, those are not flaws or bad things. Maggie deserves a world of happiness and some kids of her own to smother with that gentle love of hers, and to have more developed relationship with everyone in that show. Also, the lady-chief trifecta gives me life! She’s a good balance to all thsoe tragedy-stricken, life-weary people at GSMH and I stand by that.

5 - Bailey is fantastic and badass and one part of a powercouple that owns my heart and a goddamn talented surgeon and an adorable mother and probably gives the best hugs and the actress is SO DAMN TALENTED like that eye acting? A MASTERPIECE. She’s also one of the hearts of the show and it’d not be the same without her. She reminds me a lot of Peggy Carter - golden hearted badassess who’ve been put through the ringer by people who ask her to measure up to her male (and, in bailey’s case, white) colleagues - and who not only does it but is usually better than then. Not gonna lie, when she got chief, I felt like it had been my own flesh and blood being promoted to her dream job! But I don’t feel like it did her too well (neither does the narrative, apparently, since they had her get a heartattack and a sabatical and relationship problems because of it). I know it wont happen but I wish she’d, like, take a nice trip, maybe write a book, vacay, breath, work on her mental health and come back feeling good and ready to take on the world! One of the scenes that makes her be so awesome to me is her talk with Cristina when they’re both pregnant: Bailey, cuddling her stomach and loving her unborn baby, telling Cristina (wary and tired and absolutely not wanting to be carrying a fetus) that no one can judge her for her choice and that she is able to make that choice! Talk about supporting women on different paths than you! What pushes her “ranking” a bit lower on my list than what it’d have been in the first seasons is that the fandom put her on such a pedestal that she cannot be or do no wrong, ever, and that quickly makes me sick of a character. Bailey commits insurance fraud (changing the hour on a surgery so it’d be covered) to help a patient? Have never seen anyone even comment on it. Mer/Alex do the same? Oh nooooo, go off on them, Bailey! Bailey’s such a hardass she’s nicknamed “the Nazi”? BADASS (and she was). Any other character is hard on their interns/residents? Monsters, bitches, poor things. It’s more an issue with the fandom, ofc, but well, that has made me hate characters I previously loved, so I’m really sad it happed to her (not that I hate her, I love her, I’ve just became annoyed with the character), and with characters that become “mouthpieces” to the narrative (wanna show the character is wrong? Have Bailey yell at them, even if Bailey might be on their side/not care/have done the same or similar/isn’t that close to them) and thus, loose a bit of their authenticity. Plus, there’s this one thing that’s core to her personality and makes me annoyed (probs irrationally): any doctor: screws up bailey: I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS. Like, you... Didn’t? They were grown-ass adults when they came to know her, were her interns for... Under a year? (it felt like a long time to us but the first three seasons were a year and they had vacation and she went on maternity leave). And then went their merry ways with her being a resident and them too (not to count the ones that weren’t even her interns, like April and Jackson. Plus, have you considered that with all their screw-ups (and there have been maaaaany), she should either realize that she isn’t responsible for their actions and stop pulling that tired, over-used, untrue card, or that she might not have “raised” them so well, if she insists that’s what she did? I get the feeling and it’s sweet, just... not True and kinda overused.

6 - Lexie. Death I cried the hardest. She was such a baby, trying her goddamn best! So smart, so kind, so passionate! I also really identified wither her “dorky, clumsy younger sibling who most people would (wrongly) name “the smart one”, the overeating and the romanticism and the passionate arguing over facorite characters). She’s just not quite as far up on my list because A) It’s been so long and I’m not yet on my rewatch where she shows up, so I feel like I might be glorifying/glossing over her flaws, B) Her immaturity in the relationship with Mark is annoying, C) The fandom glosses over all her flaws and always, always, always places her as 100% the only, sole, victim, which turns me off a lot, D) She was kind of a Mary Sue. I mean, photographic memory that allows her borderline superpowers and being so sweet it was almost nauseating and never being wrong and being irresistible and and and...and E) SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO DIE LIKE THAT AND BREAK MY GODDAMN HEART.

7 -Callie! My sweet angel Callie! She’s just... I don’t even have words! Her relationships are all funny and amazing and I loved her from when she first appeared, as much as she’s changed throughout the seasons! I love that she is selfless and brave and wild and fun and quitky. It breaks my heart to see her sad, and I’ll never forgive her mother for the treatment of her! She definetly deserves better. I am so sad she’s not on the show anymore, just hope that she’s happy with Ari and their kid (s? Now? Maybe? Wouldn’t that be great?).

8 - Cristina. He character is refreshing, because she is allowed. To continue not being a people person. To have moments and realizations and weakness without taking a 180° turn and going from a type A to B in a second with no explanation (like in every Holidays movie in which a successful business woman who’s dedicated herself to her career all her life moves to a small city and suddenly, after meeting one “soft”guy, is a farm girl at heart who wants to have ten children and a traditional wedding and quit her job to stay-at-home because reasons). To have an abortion. To continue not wanting children. To marry and divorce and still be a whole person. To have her years of sacrifice and hard work pay off with the biggest career glow-up. Sandra’s acting knocks it out of the park, too, there’s no contest. Also, for a “robot”, she has some of the most emotional, deep, telling scenes in the show! Taking care of Mer before the boards even if it might mean she’d get sick too? Her scene with George’s dad? Crying to Webber because she “lost her edge?” The “i’m free” scene? Talking about her father? Ugh, my heart! I placed her “low” (Still top ten female characters and top ten Grey’s characters tho) because, as amazing as she is, she also reminds me a lot of people that ruined my life or made it miserable. That sass and arrogance and and self-centered tendencies might be endearing in-character but irl, I’d suffer if I had to be around her. Also, because I’m too much a Mer stan (and I admit that this point is a total bias), I kinda still can’t let go of their fight in season 9 (when Mer had Bailey and Cristina felt left out and just... Was not nice about it). Humans make mistakes! She wasn’t 100% in the wrong! Mer said some crap too! But as I said, this is based on feelings more than fact and that one fight left me so uncomfortable and I felt Cristina crossed some really personally-important-to-me lines. Plus, there’s this glorification some things of her that just... Make me angry. This is coming from someone from a family with lots of doctors, who’s studying to be a doctor, who’s had all her teachers stop in class to beg us to ask for help and work on our mental health, whose choice in profession was the reason the university kick-started one of the country’s first mental health support system for students (that now includes all curses but was created for Med students): The profession is sick. Doctors are suicidal and overworked and unhealthy and tired and dropping dead like freaking flies, and that’s even worse in surgeons. My uncle (also a cardiologist, funnily enough) died at fifty from a heart attack because he worked himself to death. My aunt died from a manageable condition in a minor procedure because she let it go on to long before treating (working). My other aunt has lost many close doctor friends to heart problems. My cousin and another uncle are depressed. My sister almost developed a tachycardia from trying to stay awake using energetics during her residency. My class is all physically sick (I’m writting this from bed) because we’re so overwhelmed with a course that’s not only integral but demands so much, and we’re just students. A doctor in my city died with his son in a car crash that left his daughter severely injured and on the brink of death coming back from the beach in the middle of the night because he was going to be on-call!

(Had to split it in paragraphs bc tumblr) Two doctors under forty-five died from sudden heart failures from being over-worked this year! And that’s just in my city (which is not a big city! At all) ! And being like Cristina (obsessed, power-hungry, sleeping at the hospital, eating basically crap to save time, havingonly one really close friend to the point that when they fought, living at the hospital, feeling like surgery is the only thing that completed her) is a recipe to disaster. You know what the profession also is? Divided. From the society that some consider they are “a gift to” to other health professions that they put themselves on a pedestal away from and everyone else is inferior, and from themselves, students that sabotage each other or refuse to colaborate and thus create teams that don’t work together, doctors that don’t communicate, don’t appreciate each other’s specialties and knowledge and help. Cristina doesn’t meet all that criteria, but some really remind me of her. So it kills me when I hear people say she was the best doctor, because she reminds me of so much that’s just... Wrong, that I see everyday, and it frustrates me. That is incredibly personal, and applying too much of the optics of reality to the show, but it’s my truth, and no matter how iconic the character is, I can’t shake it off.

9 - Jo. Baby girl is so ready to take on the world! I said this in my “Meredith x People” post, but Jo reminds me a lot of Mer! Same fierceness, stubborness, same rough edges, talented, caring, protective. Love her and Camilla’s acting makes her one of the deepest, most fascinating characters, and her storylines tell so many important messages! I just... Don’t have a lot to say about her, now that I’ve come to think about it, I feel like she’s pretty self-explanatory. Loved her-centric eps!

10 - Erica. I didn’t understand then and don’t understand now why the fuck is there so much hatred for her! She stood up for her rights! She didn’t take Cristina’s crap like everyone else (Cristina has her quirks and was bound to meet someone with whom they clashed who wouldn’t stand for it! That happened to be Erica!) She was ethical! She was so sweet with Callie! She was a great doctor! She wanted the hospital to be great and was willing to work for it! I feel like the main factors in it are that back then we were told, through the narrative, that we should and we were all young so we accepted that, and because the actress isn’t one of those bombshell model-likr beauties. Had it been, like, Jessica playing her in a more recent season, I doubt she would be that hated! Anyhow, I miss her.

11 - Addison. She was so great! Maybe not my favorite, but she had great moments and was criminally underrated! Maybe one day her coming back won’t be a delusion and I’ll have more to say here. What I do have to say is that she can be another example of the “show’s mouthpiece”, at least in regards to Derek. Like, we have her come back to Seattle and promptly scream at Mer for “letting Derek go” like he was the best thing in the world (lmao) without even knowing what had happened when... In reality... She literally cheated because she felt neglected and forgotten in their marriage, had a talk to Mer where she learned Derek had hurt her too... It feels cheap and unauthentic and gets in the way of my immersion.

12 - April. I can feel the confusion at why she’s ranking so low, but... April never really spoke to me. She had good moments, she was sweet, a good doctor, had great relationships and went through bad things, but in none of those moments was I standing up on my seat like I was with others. She went through a journey like Arizona’s, to find herself after something terrible instead of to change who she was, but still she’s called “the biggest evolution” by some fans and I just... Don’t see that (maybe it’s because Sarah Drew got even prettier with time so it was a visual evolution). I like her well enough. Lets put it that way: I’d not be at all opposed if she came back into the show, but I’d be also disappointed it wasn’t some other character I love more. I widh he had gotten more of her, actually! I’d probably like her more! I wanted more developed relationships, like with Mer (we could have had it aaaaaaaalllll x3) or Owen (they were in a war zone together and we barely see the aftermath besides a couple scenes with her telling hima bt the baby and at her first wedding), maybe with Riggs and Alex and even more fleshing out of Japril instead of more drama! She’d feel more real and appealing. Plus her whole storyline with taking the position of head of surgery and switching sides after she’d been one of the main advocators for Webber, then refusing to acknowledge she might not have been the nicest for it, kinda threw me off a bit (not a lot, it just felt random? Like, didn’t feel like something she’d do, but I didn’t think I knew enough about her to say it wasn’t, for sure?).

13 - Izzie. Again, she never appealed to me personally. She had amazing moments, but they were just moments. Opening a multi-million dollar beneficiary clinic? Top shelf-good. But she also had bad moments and, more importantly, bad patterns. She judged and judged Mer’s inappropriate relationship, almost got to the point of talking about it around the hospital to get her in trouble, called her a slut basically to her face, and whined about George’s “too fast, not based on anything” relationship... But would not accept to be judged on her own, even more inappropriate (and illegal) and equally rushed relationship. She did not approve when someone made a decision that she would not have made. She berated Meredith’s and Cristina’s close friendship like she was entitled to the same treatment and like she also didn’t have a best friend. I was bored by her most of the times, angry others, and only rarely pleased/happy/empathetic with.

As you can see, I only dislike the very last place, and hate none, so go girls! Hope you liked this!

[hassieseptimus-blog]

The Personalities.

Witchery does not generally deal with such factors, however that could if you include a healthy dash of old Weatherwaxian folklore. Mourners which packed the extensive Episcopal sanctuary to result Armstrong's fatality last month heard him eulogized as a committed crew player that rejected the limelight for many years after piloting the 1969 Beauty 11 moon touchdown. You thought that you desire to do better compared to the initial date, therefore you acquired her precious stones, a new golden retriever, a mansion house, an isle, and also hell, you may fly to the moon and also back. Yachter Moon also retouch on four asteroids coming from the Asteroid Waistband and also these team from people are together referred to as the Amazoness Quartet (or the Seafarer Quartet or even the Asteroid Senshi) as well as their titles are actually CereCere (Yachter Ceres), PallaPalla (Sailor Pallas), JunJun (Yachter Juno) and VesVes (Sailor Vesta).

Strictly talking, that is true: If clouds shut out the sunshine, you will definitely certainly not have the ability to see the moon obstruct the sunlight. This is actually the amount of time for ending your magic spells and also concluding your incantation casting, much like the moon hitting the end of its own organic cycle. Nonetheless, the brand new moon might also be actually unlucky, as if you persevered a window the barrier the glass of glass worked with could possibly cease any kind of circulation from lunar prize coming your way. There is actually an Excellent Night Baby Moon 'young child time' task set here that you may install at the same time. Kang Dong-wan, a political science professor at Dong-An Educational institution in Busan, observed a likelihood from a very unpleasant assemblage" unless Moon utilizes a give-and-take" technique along with various other gatherings. As well as a great deal of people experience that, that's a miracle, good task, but eventually, this is actually mosting likely to come to be an even more costly procedure. I was actually truly in to astrochemistry when I was actually a little one as well as possessed a globe from the moon - I would certainly have enjoyed to receive this as a Christmas gift! With the help of the Apollo 11 spacecraft, Neil Armstrong and also Buzz Aldrin were the 1st guys to stroll on the moon on July TWENTY, 1969. If you would like to start off Good Girl Moonshine once a day to get this remarkable supplement in your body system, I highly suggest you start with merely ONE and even 1/2 a Tbs of ACV every 2 mugs water given that you perform must let your taste buds change, or even http://20health-and-beauty20.info/ atleast I carried out.

Previous presidents George H.W. Shrub and George W. Plant designed returns to the moon then going on to Mars. Moon in the 8th - In the EIghth Residence, Moon creates mental pressure, as he rules the Psyche (Mano Matharo Sheetharashmi ). Generally not for health, Luna can easily cause Diarrohea. Jupiter is just one of the brightest things in the night heavens, outshone just by the Moon and also Venus. Remember however, ultimately, your moon and also sun design exemplifies exactly what you want it also. A moon in Leo person is normally quite loyal and tolerant, however can reveal strong mood or even hold grudge if he is actually injured brutally. In 1787 2 males stated finding super on the moon as well as thought that the moon possessed an environment. Take note - Based on early message, Sunlight and Moon connection performs not considered good in Navamsha. Even more remarkable is actually that Neil Armstrong once confessed in a meeting at a NASA Seminar that he experienced massive enormous unusual space probe while he as well as Hype Aldrin were on the moon.

[slayer-the-book-blog]

Ryan Character Info, UPDATED

Basics– 

Name: Aurora Ryan Hales 

DOB: July 27th (Leo) 

Age: 17 

Height: 5′10″ 

Weight: 130 lbs (somewhat lanky and petite despite her height, subject to change) 

Hair: Dark brown, wavy 

Eyes: Dark Hazel (will provide picture example) 

Race: Half black, half Colombian 

Codename: Smarty Pants (non-official) 

Personality: Naive, Emotionally Distant, Practical, Stubborn, Tenacious 

Personality con’t– 

Naive: Despite her genius-level intellect, Ryan is somewhat naive to the ways of the world. She is partially easily manipulated and often taken advantage due to years of emotional and verbal abuse as well as being pushed to her mental and physical peak by her parents, Floyd Hales and Verla Hales (nee Serrano). 

Emotionally Distant: Ryan was never properly socialized; neither with children nor other people, which leads to a lot of unnecessary confrontation. Ryan only ever opened up to her maternal Grandmother (and Rosearah Stratton), who was murdered in front of her in a botched robbery attempt. 

Practical: Ryan is down to earth and works surprisingly well under pressure. Despite her emotional outbursts (or lack thereof), Ryan is able to complete necessary tasks while keeping calm, cool, and collected. 

Stubborn: More parent-related drama! Ryan may sometimes take issue with being told what to do, especially if the command is harsh. Rarely is it triggering, and it will usually result in anger/noncompliance. 

Adventurous: Ryan enjoys her freedom to its fullest when she has it. She has become more outgoing as years of therapy have passed in an attempt to separate herself from how her parents treated her and to make an attempt at socialization. Sometimes her adventurousness borders on recklessness, which leaves Rosearah with constant annoyance. 

Tenacious: Refer to “stubborn.” Ryan is an incredibly hardworking person and does not settle. She feels best when her work has constant results. Ryan doesn’t tolerate laziness (unless it is her own laziness) and gets fidgety when there is nothing to do. Idleness may also trigger her PTSD. 

PTSD: Ryan had PTSD in one case. 

Case #1, Parents 

–Ryan may be prone to crying fits, anxiety attacks, or may react with unbridled anger if she is unable to complete a task right away. Her parents prided her on only her smarts, but failed to nurture her emotions. 

Brief History: 

Aurora “Ryan” Hales was born to Floyd Hales and Verla Serrano. Their daughter’s development was much faster than that of a normal baby, having learned to speak at only six months and reading at one year. Fast forward, Aurora is a child genius that her parents enjoy showing off. Aurora was always interested in coding, medicine, engineering, and various forms of technology, and despie her parents’ attempt to stifle this interest, they were unsuccessful. 

The stress of constant shows, interviews, and appearances stressed Aurora to no end, but still her parents pushed her, often forcing her to go without basic needs (food, water, bathing, stimulation, etc.) as punishment. Denial eventually lead to physical abuse. Finishing college at age twelve, Aurora’s parents tried to force her into more schooling, which eventually led to her removal from their care and into the care of her maternal Grandmother, Katherine DaCosta. 

At thirteen, Aurora became interested in hacking and began to hack small-time businesses for easy cash to provide for her and her grandmother. Eventually her grandmother began asking questions, but Aurora had learned to become a pretty good liar, and she chalked it up to late royalty checks from published books about her life of live appearances. Eventually, Aurora’s Grandmother was put on emergency bedrest due to the onset of Lou Gherig’s disease, aka ALS, which was caught far too late to be treated. Her grandmother died three months after her thirteenth birthday. 

Aurora was able to hide her Grandmother’s death for some time, forging signatures and using video adaptation technology to falsify her appearance in other cases. Eventually Aurora was caught, removed from her home, and put into foster care. Aurora ran away from her foster family at age fourteen, creating fake documents and going by her middle name, Ryan. She falsified both her birth certificate and identification card so that she could “legally” work, an impressive feat that was nearly impossible to catch. Ryan was good at covering her tracks, but the group that had been following her had been after her for some time. 

Eventually Ryan was adopted by Arlene and Steven Dwyer, another family that exploited her genius and basically used her for free labor. Ryan was at a loss and attempted suicide at age fifteen, believing it to be her only means of escape, only to be caught in the act, removed from her home once more and thrown into a mental health facility, where she would be for three months. She was able to persuade a kind, pervy, male orderly to smuggle in an iPad for her, and from then, escape was easy. 

Once Ryan got herself out of the mental health facility, she was met not by her parents, but by Slayer Operative Rosearah Stratton with a proposition. She trained from fifteen to age seventeen, where she is still undergoing training while also deploying and managing her own missions and she is currently in the process of perfecting “SOH,” a “Safely Operated Home” that responds to only her or Rosearah’s vocal commands for safety. Her job is to maintain servers, make sure money is going to the right places, and send her partners on missions (subject to change/add-ons). 

Ryan has two faint scars remaining from her attempted suicide which she covers up with bracelets from her Grandmother and Rose, respectively. 

#character profiles #ryan character profile #Aurora Hales #Aurora Ryan Hales #Ryan Hales #Ryan #character profile #updated her age because I want her to have some pretty wild outfits

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Meet Dr. Whitehouse: Historical Endo Extraordinaire

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Meet Dr. Whitehouse: Historical Endo Extraordinaire

It's not often you get to meet someone who actually worked directly with Dr. Elliott Joslin, "the father of diabetes care," back in the day. But lucky for us, fellow D-blogger and journalist Mike Hoskins lives in Indiana, very near the Eli Lilly HQ and a gentleman who's made an incredible impact on treating diabetes over the past 74 years. Don't miss his (somewhat lengthy) historical perspective today:

Special to the 'Mine by Michael Hoskins

You might call him an Endo for the Ages, someone who connects the past to the present and moves us toward the future in the world of diabetes.

For Dr. Fred W. Whitehouse, his first encounter with diabetes came at the age of 12, when his 8-year-broth

er was diagnosed during a family car trip from Arizona and California. This was long before the idea of adding "Dr." to the front of his name was even on the mind -- before a career in diabetes, and before he'd find a place in the diabetes history books as an endocrinologist who's been at the forefront of D-care for more than a half-century.

Now 85, Dr. Whitehouse practices three days a week at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit.

He took some time recently for a chat with us at the 'Mine, and our 90-minute discussion hit on just about every topic in the diabetes world, from his own family connections, to his humble medical career beginnings at the Joslin Clinic — working directly with the legendary Dr. Joslin himself! — to the evolution in care and research he's observed and helped shepherd in through the decades, his American Diabetes Association presidency, and even D-Camp, the Diabetes Online Community and his thoughts on how close we are to a cure. I'll do my best to summarize his exceptional journey here for you:

In fact, his journey unofficially began in August 1938 on that summer drive with his family, when his younger brother Johnny suddenly needed frequent stops to use the bathroom. Mom knew it was diabetes because one of her cousins had been diagnosed young and died in 1919 after slipping into a coma in Connecticut while on the way to see a "famous doctor" in Boston. Thankfully, Whitehouse's own brother's diagnosis came more than a decade after insulin's discovery, and a young Fred was determined to help take care of him.

"I was the resident chemist in our family because I had an amateur chemistry set and would boil the urine, trying to get the color blue because that meant no more sugar in the urine," he said. "That was my initiation into diabetes."

But then, years went by and he didn't think about diabetes as a career-influencer. Instead, he wanted to go into obstetrics. "There's nothing more delightful than delivering babies," he says. But Whitehouse soon found himself at Presbyterian Hospital in Chicago, where Dr. Rollin Woodyatt was the leading physician for patients with diabetes, who most docs of those days weren't comfortable caring for. His own days caring for his brother Johnny came back, and his destiny seemed to fall into place.

After a stint as a Navy flight surgeon in the Korean War following his residency in Detroit, Whitehouse took a fellowship in Boston, MA, at the New England Deaconess Hospital — which shared space at 84 Bay Street with the Joslin Clinic at the time, about three miles from the site Joslin would later make its home. It was there that Whitehouse spent 15 months, working not only with a lineup of trailblazers from diabetes history but Dr. Eliott P. Joslin himself.

At the time because of his age (mid-80s), Dr. Joslin and spent most of his time in his office, but Whitehouse and the others would accompany him on the rounds when Joslin did see patients. Whitehouse recalls talking with Dr. Joslin about his entry into the D-field in the late 1800s, how his aunt had diabetes and motivated him to focus his medical career on the condition. And thank goodness he did!

"The old gentleman was still hale and hearty, and worked every day at the hospital doing his rounds every Saturday morning starting at 8 a.m. He really was a remarkable man," Whitehouse says of the legendary Joslin.

Whitehouse actually practiced with the "Big Four" of the time — Drs. Joslin and Howard F. Root who administered the first insulin delivery in the '20s, Priscilla White who revolutionized pregnancy and diabetes care, and Dr. Alexander Marble who focused on DKA and research. Later, Drs. Robert F. Bradley and Leo P.Krall and Joslin's son Allen joined the historical group that Whitehouse witnessed firsthand.

"Really, the strength of Joslin was the distinguished group he accrued who were high-quality, experienced, and specialized people in diabetes, not just some physicians who saw it on the side," Whitehouse says. "That team approach, the idea of focusing on high control of treatment, was what Joslin became known for. There were no clinical trials then and the thought was that complications may be hereditary, but that it could be controlled by intense care. But that wasn't proven by data for almost 40 years."

Back then, about three decades before home blood meters came onto the scene, it typically took about an hour to take a BG test in a clinic. At Joslin, Whitehouse said one could get that done in as quickly as 30 minutes. In those days, the color blue (dark blue, to be exact) was the goal because it suggested "normal blood sugar" and no glucose in the urine. He laughs now how many in the diabetes community advocate for the color blue and the International Diabetes Federation's Blue Circle, since it has a significant part in the pages of diabetes history!

Whitehouse left Joslin in September 1955 and went to work at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, where he remains today. He served more than 30 years as chief of the Endocrinology Diabetes Bone Mineral Disorders Division from 1962 to 1995, and has long been regarded as one of the nation's leaders in the field of diabetes. He served as ADA president in 1978-79, and during his presidency the concept of ADA professional section councils — subgroups of members focusing on such specialties such as foot care, youth, pregnancy or complications. His honors include: the Banting Medal, Outstanding Clinician Award and Outstanding Physician Educator Award from the American Diabetes Association, and the Master Physician distinction from the American College of Physicians. The Henry Ford endocrinology division website says this about him: "Over the course of 60 years, Dr. Whitehouse has helped change the face of diabetes management and treatment." The Detroit hospital has even named a distinguished service award after Dr. Whitehouse!

He was involved in testing human insulin in the late 1970s, and along with one of his colleagues in Detroit, treated the patient who was the second-ever person to take human insulin (the first was in Kansas). He also treated some of the earliest patients ever treated with insulin who would utilize new tools such as the first-ever blood meters and insulin pumps, as well as those who had transplants of various natures. The first patient with diabetes to receive a transplanted kidney at Henry Ford Hospital did so on Oct. 31, 1974, and he says it was a great success — that woman lived a full life for 14 years before succumbing to a massive heart attack.

One of his other D-patients was Elizabeth Hughes Gossett, diagnosed at age 11 in 1919 and one of the first to ever receive insulin from Dr. Fredrick Banting in 1922. She married William T. Gossett, who was general counsel for Ford Motor Company and lived in southeast Michigan. Before her death from pneumonia in 1981 at the age of 73 (totaling an estimated 42,000 insulin shots before her death), she saw Dr. Whitehouse but actually kept her health and diabetes a secret from the world. She was a "closet diabetic," Whitehouse says.

That was perhaps the way then, but now with the advent of the Internet and the diabetes online community, PWDs tend to be more enthusiastic about sharing their stories and are looking to connect. Whitehouse thinks support and mental health is important, and though he's not sure if there's enough follow-up data to judge the clinical significance of something like the diabetes online community, he does think it sounds like a positive influence — much like diabetes camps.

"There are far less closet diabetics than there used to be, and people are more open. That's a good thing because you can learn from others who are going through similar experiences."

(DBMine: EXACTLY!)

Whitehouse was also one of the initial endos participating in the Diabetes Control and Complications Trials (DCCT) in the 1980s — government-funded clinical trials that led to the proof that better managed diabetes could delay or even eliminate complications. Whitehouse says not everyone in the medical field supported that theory or thought the study was worthwhile. Those naysayers got a big "I told you so" years later when the A1c became the standard to gauge a person's management.

"They thought the question had been answered in their own mind and they didn't want to be bothered," he said. "But we had to be able to prove this with science and data for everyone, rather than it being one doctor from one or two places saying this was their opinion. The time for scientific proof had come."

Looking back, Whitehouse describes the DCCT as the most remarkable study ever supported by the NIH, which is ongoing and now in its 30th year. (See the Epidemiology of Diabetes Interventions and Complications (EDIC) study that has continued following most of the original DCCT participants).

Whitehouse says he's amazed to have witnessed all the technological and daily care changes that have happened since he began in 1955, and that patients and physicians have much more basic knowledge about management. He believes the next leap forward will be just as amazing — prevention of type 1 and helping type 2s avoid complications with better management.

As far as moving toward a cure, Whitehouse has some thoughts on that, too.

"I think prevention of type 1 diabetes will come first," he said. "Then, better control of daily swings in blood glucose and better control over low blood sugar spells. Perhaps third will be better control of overweight and obesity. Last in my view will come the 'cure of the insulin-dependent diabetic person.' This will require stem cells from the diabetic's own tissues developing into beta cells, then preventing these 'personal' beta cells from being killed off as they initially were. This will be the crowning achievement. That's all coming, but I think diabetes will be around for a spell."

Unfortunately, that seems pretty clear. But we hope there'll be new Dr. Whitehouses in each generation, to help us take leaps forward in research and improving D-care.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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