#ive been in denial about it

[moonlightprison]

ok maybe i do have severe social anxiety 💀

#ive been in denial about it #because i just gaslit myself out of it in highschool #and now its back like full force and i cant confront it #bc i think im like better then it or its so stupid to have depression AND anxiety like every tiktok faker ever #but like huh #maybe this is an issue!!

[finnitesimal]

Brother if he agrees to the wedding those aren't his boundaries at all

#listen it does not matter to me whether or not qphil reciprocates the romantic part ok im still making my interpretations. #i do not care if he goes yeah i appreciate it m8 but i don't feelt hat way about you but i still care about you in my own way #i get that ive been expecting this outcome since april. #but IF phil decides to go yes my cubito is in bi denial and in love with his husband. then that is HIS decision #what are you gonna do?? are you gonna go philll that's against your boundarieeesss SHUT UP HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS. #He knows what the community's gonna do!!! he's a grown man on the internet he knows full well what people are Already Doing!!! #what do you think Im Not Missing Missa It's Fine was about HE FUCKING KNOWS. HE'S IN ON THE BIT

[milkbreadtoast]

ai is just so fucking bleak man it makes me want to end it all...

taking everything joyful about life... everything i ever wanted or loved or hoped for... and not just that, everything else too... no job is safe... the only way i can go on is to pretend it doesnt exist and just keep creating and trying as we always have done it haha but meanwhile it just keeps getting worse and im filled with sickening dread... the only hope I have is that people will continue to stick together and protect each other even as ai tries to destroy and take everything from us and our identity and our joy sorry to sound poetic and pretentious but i just need to get the vent out. its bleak man.

#im being vague bc im embarrassed to specify more but it just... the future seems so bleak bc of ai #and... this is just one small thing #everything about the current world and the future looks bleak to me #the only way i can keep going on is if i pretend everything is fine and the same as how it was #but the fact that i can even manage to do that shows my immense privilege #vent #delete later #sidenote i havent been glazing or art shielding my art (i never tried glaze) #because i just... i give up man. like im in denial. i want to just pretend like i can post it like normal and itll be ok #i want to blindly trust #its the same w me posting my art and blindly trusting that ppl wont repost #except ai is much worse than reposting.... #ha... the only meager protection ive been doing #is watermarking but not even obtrusively #and posting at a lower res (but ive been posting higher res on here...) #hhaaa... i want ppl to be able to see my hard work and tbe colors #and artshield makes tbe colors ugly #cries #unrelated but i feel like ive been estranged from my friends lately too #so thats prob also contributing to why i feel so sad #im too old to be having a tantrum like this but isnt this what blogs like tumblr r for? so i can vent here instead of irl... ha ha

[aizawas-dryeye]

oooo girls my brain is COOKIN tn ! re4 leon heavy on da brain ill tell u wut

#we ramblin #resident evil 4 #re4 #leon kennedy #side note ive been saying ill tell u what in the most southern accent recently as a joke but i fear it is no longer a joke #im 100% in denial about my accent and will remain so !

[dykexenomorph]

i hate to be the bear of bad news i think hazbin is just gonna become more mainstream and normal gradually. i had straight friends recommending me it cause they watched the entire thing. like something abt it has a large population in a choke hold :( save fags from bad musical shows and movies

TOP TEN MOST SICKENING, FRIGHTENING, AND HOPE DESTROYING ASKS OF ALL TIME.........don't say this to me.....we can defeat it if we just try hard enough......please god........

#H^ZB^N I REBUKE YOU AND ALL OF THE DEMONIC POWERS AFFILIATED WITH YOU. DIE NOW. 🧙‍♂️🪄💥 #asks #being serious though ur right ive just been in denial about it 😭 #seeing all of my mutuals twice removed (muts i dont talk to) slowly get into it #has felt like being the only immune person in a zombie apocalypse.... #absolutely terrifying #anyways onto more lighthearted topics hi taako ily and hope ur doing well <3 #taako tag

[nutria--oscura]

Just said (outloud) "ohmigosh I love looking at sorting algorithms so much!" as I added a 58minute "sorting algorithms to study/relax to" video to watch later. knowing full well I will watch all 58minutes and 4secons of that algorithm sorting bars as intently as a surgeon looks at their patient whilst performing surgery

And my parents still haven't realised I'm autistic how?

#at this point it has to be strong denial... right? #anyways #HEY GUYS so it turn out i rediscovered a visual stim? #its been so long (7 years) since ive even thought about algorithmic sorting #holy shit it just hit me how much i missed it- #whispers of the raine #autistic things #happy stims

[soulsanctuary]

From my perspective I just wanted a genuine friendship, but in the back of my mind I always thought that I was just a distraction for him. I could’ve been anyone it wouldn’t have mattered. and sometimes i wonder if leaving was the right choice, but i remember trying to envision a future where i stayed - a year on and no changes, no plans. just surface level acquaintance and distraction. And me, feeling let down and disappointed. So I figured it was better to save myself from that pain and get out early. It still hurts, but at least i know i was right.

#it hurts feeling like i was just a boredom breaker for someone i really cared about #there’s also the fact that on some level i think he actually disliked me #I don’t know how i ended up in the most confusing illusory connection ive ever been in #except that i feel ashamed of the fact for not leaving such a one sided connection sooner #for being in denial and having such weak boundaries #angel #tbh. my prediction of nothing changing in a year would probably be wrong #he would’ve got bored sooner or later and ghosted me anyways #at the end of the day #I just wanted him to make some sort of effort to actually be my friend #i guess i wasn’t worth it to him. lol

[bootyful-seventeen]

hey y'all, anyone have any good stress relief tehniques or habits they'd like to share cuz I've been more stressed in the last 3 weeks then I was in the last 6 months

#to cut the long story short my mom had to sell the old house cuz her broke ass couldnt afford to keep it up #eventho it is a whole ass hoarders house and was in shambles with a flooded basement a collapsing ceiling in at least 2 rooms plus mold #and the stench a dirt and dog piss and shit all over the floor really made it worse then it was #but yeah so shes been staying with me and my grandma and its been awful #she hasnt been taking any of the medicine the doctors gave her when she snapped and started a fight and also started screaming at neighbour #so shes been terrorizing us here while the house has become her second hoarders den since she dragged so much crap here #my backyard side entrance and front porch are full of her shit and my grandma hates it since she can barely step into the house #so since she kept looking for places way out of her budget i had to go do house hunting since my useless sister is busy getting lit again #so ive been showing her shit in her price range that was under 420k cuz im not a moron who looks at 800k homes when i have 570k #and each time she has a new complaint saying its too expenive or its too small or its too old when she said she wants to do renovations #but shes saying she wants to renovate a newly renovated place instead of an old one #so i just showed her a house near my sisters uni and she liked the inside & backyard but she complained that 400k for newly renovated 3 bed #that is literally a 9 minute drive from my sisters uni is too expensive when shes the one who was looking at an old ass unrenovated bungalo #that is a street over from us that is 800k and she says it looks like garbage cuz an old lady previously owned it before dying #like no shit it looks old cuz older people lived those decades and like it and she just keeps doing her bullshit again & again #cuz when i tell you her mind is gone i mean it is GONE and she starts up all these wild stories to just explain some shit #like something goes missing? the neighbours are hungarian and stole it and left the hoard of junk in her old house #she has more stupid stories to harass and stress us out with but if im gonna share that ill have to write a book about it cuz fuck #and you know its bad when no one else can stand being in any contact with her cuz she starts screaming at people about it #so the only one who even likes her anymore is my sister and thats cuz shes deep in denial about just how insane she is & how abusive she is #so yeah i need some stress relief help that maybe isnt constantly hitting up maryjane cuz i dont do weed often especially since shes here #cuz weed 'burns your brain & makes you crazy like this' when shes the only one whos ever infuriated me to astronimical levels #i know retail therapy helped before she came here but i dont want to keep spending money i dont really have #it would be great tho but shes refusing to give me the 70k she said was mine from the house sale so i can cut her out for good

[myownprivatcidaho]

.

#just realized i was removed from my work groupme #?????? #i do Not have a good feeling about this #ive received no notification of termination and i cant imagine why my supervisor would remove me #without there first being notification of termination #the only other reason i cld imagine is the girl whos been giving me trouble who i reported for lynching denial and offensive accents #is now under investigation and she may have removed me. ??????? #if so thatd be retaliation so idk. idk.... #but also tmrw makes (business) day 45 of my investigation and they try to keep investigations to 45 days or less so idk. 😬😬 #ive drafted an email to my supervisor for tmrw afternoon and if i havent heard any word explaining it then im gna email him #demanding an explanation #jesus christ this is just so much unnecessary headache #i wrote a joke about a sticky note i left on my food in the fridge. this is a one time incident. #theres ample evidence to show it was a joke and that the report was made in bad faith. #god this is just so fucked up this persons been BULLYING me for months and this is just a step up from the usual trouble shes been giving m #god i dont know wgat to do this is just so much anxiety and its fucking stupid. god. #AND IVE LOST $2400 FROM IT

[earl-grey-love]

Not much to post lately since I'm still in the process of rewriting my s/i. I've got her backstory + personality all down, but I haven't developed anything for the ships yet.

#I'm establishing the general themes and dynamics first #plus I haven't been all that inspired by my romantics anyway #except for S-tan I've been focusing on him the most #but also I've been thinking about another man from the game that until now Ive been in denial about #how silly of me #I'm not sure if its a phase though #its not Mephi #sunny speaks

[cerealmonster15]

was talkin 2 my partner this weekend and i was like “and bc i have adhd tendencies-” and he stops me and says “no you dont just have adhd tendencies. u definitely have adhd.” <- i have never been professionally diagnosed but my partner has and hes told me before that i am like, The Most ADHD Person Hes Ever Met jfldsjfj

#ive had therapists and other friends with adhd also say i Seem Like I Probably Have It #and tbh im p sure i do to #my FATHER is in denial but. he wouldnt know even tho he thinks he does 😒 #but whatever i dont really need a diagnosis #im fine w/being Probably ADHD lol #idr what i was talkin to him about this weekend when it came up #lol it comes up a lot when im playin video games #my cousin was watchin me play harvest moon once and i kept forgetting where i was going and what i was doing #cousin also has been diagnosed w/adhd and Commented On My Behavior #i am. very scatterbrained 🧍‍♂️

[lemmymade]

do you ever just stop being in denial about something and then suddenly want to just yell it from the rooftops

#hi. im aromantic ive been in denial about this for literal years #i have a lot of internal arophobia i need to get over now bc i was That Deep in denial its kinda embarassing

[canniju]

My mom knows I'm plural btw and has actually witnessed my different alters. This isn't me sitting in my room "roleplaying". It's kind of funny to me that people who don't know you can just...say shit like "act like that in front of your family and friend irl and see how crazy you sound/look!" like...

My family and friends irl HAVE seen it, have staged interventions to ask me about instances (where I have amnesia about it), and make comments about my "drastically different personalities", "do you have split personality???", "you were fine and different yesterday, why so different suddenly?", "I like it when you're x, I don't like whatever this one is".

I actually have a little alter, and my mom...acts like a mom with her! We have had people irl ask mom why she "babies" me sometimes.

There is a lot. This has been happening for years. This didn't just pop up out of no where. This isn't some 'trend' for us.

Also: yes, we alternate between using "I" and plural "we/us". Get used to it.

-Hunter

#hunter #bc we have a certain someone who is spreading around that we are faking and have never been plural #ive always known i was plural since i was young #but when i came out online at aged 14 that i think im plural #a bunch of adults raided and harrassed me and fakeclaimed me and stalked me #so i internalized that and became in denial about it #despite the constant amnesia and arguements in my head and ppl irl asking me wtf #i just kept saying nope! not plural!! no way! #now im 30 and im #not hiding it anymore #believe me or not idc #im currently reconciling with my alters and hoping they forgive me for denying them their existance #all that matters to me is healing and learning to get along with them for a better life

[heart-bones]

I brought my flash drive with my fic on it to work, plugged it in, wrote a paragraph, and got too nervous and took it out lol

I just can't do it, maybe I need my own lil laptop so I'm not paranoid of leaving traces of it on work stuff

#i mean we're not even to the smut yet. if ive decided there's even going to be *smut smut #still trying to shake off the inherent cringe of actually writing batman fanfiction like i can talk about it online with you guys #but saying it out loud is like. no. #but its coming together (ive said for the upteenth time) #but it really is! #(outline is vaguely: Horror Intro/Setup - Investigation - Discovery - Villian Reveal - Conflict - Chase - Returning To The House) #(More Horror) #(Questionable Morals and Possible Monster Fucking) #(More Horror - The Changing Pt 2 - Miscommunication & Denial) #(Yearning & Acceptance - Resolution.) #can't wait to put them both through it #about to hit the villian reveal & conflict which has been taking me the longest #need to get it to flow in a way that doesn't bother me later #the changing and beyond is going to fly by because I already Know how i want it to sound #you guys should see my sporadic notes app for this fic its insane maybe I'll post it after the fic is finished lol #(a lot of it is already in there and gets written almost verbatim) #(but pulling it out in places so it makes sense to other people takes longer lol )

[qprstobin]

Question: do y'all often make your friends come out to you before they are ready to/before they are ready to be truthful to themselves about it? Because the way some of y'all have Robin talk to Steve....

#like i DO think there are rare occasions when you can be like my dear friend you are in denial #i have had to do that to my best friend #but also like they already had some idea they were queer they had trouble accepting it #and we were talking about it #this is NOT how i see yall handling the steve thing #walkie chatter #fandom wank #my gaydar post has started getting into the eddie is steves bi awakening part of fandom and ive been seeing somr tags that #hm

[waywardsalt]

thinking abt linebeck’s coat. something very alluring about it for some reason. so im just gonna ramble about it here instead of in the tags for once

you can probably start a fight between the people who think it’s a coat and people who think it’s a jacket but i think it’s a coat moving on

the character designs are interesting to look at due to the proportions and art style so it is hard to imagine how long his coat would be but i think it would go down to a bit above ankles because i think that’s good. it’s a bit more dramatic a bit more impressive(?) that way and would probably lead to problems tbh

based on some of the official art i imagine that the stripe at the bottom might’ve been a late addition since it’s missing in the bit of official art most used to represent linebeck. tbh linebeck is inconsistent in very tiny ways in the official art but that’s mostly if you’re gonna be nit-picky or bored enough to notice

his coat is so good it’s simple but very recognizable and stands out among the other character designs in ph and its just. yknow good character design

its also surprisingly good for headcanons and stuff and because i mostly take a lot of canon as suggestion i have a good handful of headcanons tagged specifically onto his coat (one of which is the length of it ig)

i like to imagine that he made it himself. i’ve seen stuff where people write linebeck as being able to fix link’s tunic when it gets torn and i feel like the logical extreme of that is that he made his own coat. i think that adds a layer of. importance to it? it’s unique it’s solely linebeck’s it’s tied to him because he made it with his own hands and maybe it can represent something about him that way?

i like to imagine that in addition to the normal pockets one the outside he’s got a whole lot of little pockets on the inside of the coat, like so many pockets that he hides little trinkets or tools or things he steals in either to keep or to take back to his ship for whatever reason. some of the pockets have little flaps of whatever they’re called that can be secured in place with a small button to keep stuff in

he’s got like pencils and a compass and little notes and tiny figurines and cool rocks and feathers and all kinds of little things he thought was worth keeping around and due to that his coat is uncomfortable sometimes but if he knows for certain he’s going to be busy doing stuff he’ll empty out all of the pockets and only leave the important stuff so that it’s lighter and less uncomfortable. link finds his coat lying around at some point and is caught so badly off-guard by how surprisingly heavy it is with all of the bullshit he keeps in all of his pockets

i also imagine he values it a lot, maybe to the point of being really possessive and protective of it, not letting link touch it and if it gets torn or stained he shuts down and has to fix it before he can move on to anything else, and if he can’t fix it at the time it leave him kind of overwhelmed or upset until he can fix it. he has a lot stocked-up materials specifically for his coat to avoid a situation where he has to go for while with his coat damaged

backing away from headcanon territory, his coat is just a cool bit of character design and has just been lodged in my mind for a while. its cool and never brought up within the game (obviously) and i guess a last little closing thought is that in the cutscene where oshus teleports link above linebeck it kinda looks like his coat moves when he tries to catch link and i think that’s cool

#afraid of clogging ph tag so ill just tag this as #linebeck #character development not hiding in the tags this time #salty talks #this is how i talk on discord but i fear initiating social interaction so heres this #im in some kind if weird denial ever since that last totk trailer bc i think ive been lowkey constantly overwhelmed ever since seeing it #ugh. i miss linebeck. totk scares me and so does the fact that i cant get myself to be as excited as everyone else seems to be able to be #typing this was painful bc i turned off my autocorrect on my phone a while back bc it fucking sucked and now its like #man i am bad at typing on a phone holy SHIT #coat post thinking about linebeck helps me feel good. also projection he’s my go-to for projection when like anything happens #i imagine his coat as like. a comfort item to some degree. like it’s something he made himself and he’s had it for a very long time #like i have a comfort item or two of my own so its like. yeah i get how it feels to worry about it getting damaged or lost #so within the bounds of my ideas linebeck cares about his coat in a similar manner he does his ship. hes autistic abt both of them #his scarf falls into this category too but that actually has more actual backstory about it bc i can’t be normal about anything about him #still talking in the tags. oh well. im going to snap #i have planned a 17 chapter linebeck backstory. this is not related to that but i feel like its worth just. mentioning #i could probably make his coat represent some aspect of his identity if i wanted. like. maybe its a representation of what he really wants #i keep the coat in most au designs but the two au designs that dont have the coat are where linebeck’s identity is a bit fucked