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wavesmp3 · 2 months

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[tbz] 8000 layers of inyun

younghoon x reader, jacob x reader - inspired by the movie past lives - wc: 6k - warnings: mentions of alcohol, like one curse i think - a/n: reader should be completely inclusive, i.e. not adhering to the background of the main character in the movie.

****

[first hello]

when you met jacob for the first time, it was in the grassy backyard of a house in long island one mile away from the beach. at a rickety, white table with spots of black showing up beneath the layers of paint. it was three glasses of red wine in, two hours after you had laid eyes on him, and one hour after everyone else had headed inside for sleep.

when you met jacob for the first time, you had told him about inyun. how even brushing by someone’s shoulder on the street or locking eyes with a stranger on the metro meant there was something there between the two of you in a past life. he looked amazed at the notion. you thought he looked quite pretty. “that would mean we had something together in a past life, wouldn’t it?” he had asked. and even then, you could tell–he’s such a writer. there was a story already rising from the dark corners of his mind. you had just nodded. and told him about all the layers between two lovers, and about the 8000 it takes to take one’s hand and whole-heartedly decide you want to marry them.

you don’t really remember jacob’s cheeks turning pink at the line. what you do remember is the sky changing colors. you remember how golden he looked under the string lights. you remember leaning into his face, almost falling forward, bracing yourself with a hand on his knee.

you remember kissing him for the first time.

*****

[younghoon’s coming]

jacob is already cooking dinner by the time you come home. you stop in front of the gray door, noticing for the first time in a while the scratch in the top corner from the massive yellow armchair you stuffed through the door even when it refused to fit through. you smile at the scratch, stretch your arm out to finger over the light brown mark. how long ago was that now? was that before or after you got married? you inhale. the air smells like wet concrete and basil. jacob forgot to turn on the exhaust fan, didn’t he?

you don’t remind him to do so once you finally find your keys. instead you slip off your old, faded sneakers, drop your keys on the counter in the lime green dish you made in a pottery class two years ago, and greet him in the kitchen, kissing the side of his chin and reaching over his head to turn the exhaust fan on. he kisses your forehead as an apology, or at least he tries but you’ve already moved and his lips end up catching on the corner of your left eye. you wash the day and the grime off you, washing away the train and the throbbing in your feet. you meet him again for dinner, at the table you call your dining table and your home office. he brings over two plates of the pasta. you bring the wine.

“you know younghoon.” it doesn’t hit you then that that’s the first thing you’ve said to him since you left that morning.

jacob squints. his eyes, his eyes, his eyes. they were the first thing you noticed about him. the first thing you fell in love with. “yeah. your childhood sweetheart.” this he says with a teasing smile. you smile back. his smile was the second thing you fell in love with.

“he, uh, emailed me earlier today.” you shift in your stool. “he moved out of his parents’ house, i think, and is between jobs. he said he’s going to be visiting new york soon.”

there’s a stillness in the air, then. a shock beneath the table that’s curling around your calves and inching up your arms.

jacob, though, despite how well you know him, despite your knack to see through every emotion he feigns, still tries to nod it off. “oh. when is he coming?”

“in two weeks. “

“that’s soon.”

“i know.”

“are you going to see him?” there’s no mask of emotion here. everything in jacob’s mind and heart you can read in his eyes, except that reading doesn’t mean understanding and five years of marriage doesn’t mean you know someone’s every thought. you don’t know what to say. you don’t know what he wants. you don’t even know what you want. all you know is younghoon’s email. you spent two hours staring at it this afternoon. younghoon, as you knew him, was a straightforward guy. he explicitly said in the email what he wants: to spend a day or two with you while he’s here, as much time as you can spare, show him the city you moved to when you turned 21. show him the country you moved to when you were 13. but beneath the straightforward request feels like a million subliminal ones. like he wants you to prove to him that you’ve made a life worth living here. like he wants to gallivant around new york telling you about a country that used to be home and asking you what would have happened if you didn’t go all those years ago.

but younghoon isn’t like you and jacob, he doesn’t make reading into subtext and writing a 100 pages about it his job. so you tell jacob what you decided on the train ride back.

“yeah, i think i will.” and with the way your stomach twists, it feels like a confession.

*****

[first goodbye]

your first goodbye with younghoon is when you’re young. it happens on the last day of school for you before your family’s big move to the states. even though you only found out a couple weeks ago, you knew this move was a long time coming. maybe that’s why you didn’t say anything when your parents told you it was happening. maybe that’s why you just went to your room and started packing.

younghoon’s been in the same class as you your whole life. his whole life too. and for your entire lives you’ve been making the same walk back home from school together. today is no different. and yet, isn’t it? it’s the same roads, yes, the same stairs and the same shops on the way. but the air is different, it smells like home. it smells like you already miss it. and you haven’t even left yet.

the walk is almost entirely silent.

the roads diverge towards the end, into a smaller path that leads to your home and the main road that younghoon takes to get to his. you take one step into the path and stop. younghoon stops too. he stares. you stare back.

(you don’t realize it then, but it’s the last time you’ll see him in person for almost 20 years. one of the last times you’ll even speak to him in around 7. it’s the last time you’ll ever stand on this street, and one of the last times you’ll breathe this air. most importantly, it’s the last time you’ll ever be this young.)

your first goodbye with younghoon isn’t much of a goodbye. it’s him asking when you leave. it’s you saying sometime tomorrow. it’s him frowning, patting your shoulder, and saying, “be well, and don’t cry over maths anymore.”

*****

[second hello]

you round the corner by the candy shop and walk inwards to the park. you used to live around here. but god, where haven’t you lived? you used to come into this park and watch people. the man towards the south entrance that always sat on the middle bench. the tourists walking up and down and around looking amazed and bored and helpless. tompkins square park used to be your favorite park in new york, but walking into it now, you can’t really remember why you liked it so much. you wonder why he chose this park specifically to meet in. did you mention it once on a skype call? does he think you still like it? or has he figured that you’ve already fallen out of love?

you see the back of his head before you see him. and for a moment you get an instantaneous rush of every feeling there is to feel from seeing him again, here, in a park you thought you loved. but it’s not the park and it’s not the city that makes your entire body go numb. it’s seeing him. younghoon. younghoon. younghoon. it’s seeing him for the first time in–you don’t even want to admit to yourself how long.

but the instantaneous rush ends, and your body and blood come back to earth and back to this park you hate, when he turns around and faces you facing him.

and there are no words to be said.

there used to be oceans and countries and cultures and decades standing between you and him, but somehow now, all of that has compressed into four squares of broken concrete. you were never very good at maths. younghoon, the one who comforted you whenever you cried over it, knows that best. but even you know that there is no way 20 years can turn into 20 feet. so much has changed. more than could possibly be encompassed in any greeting. it’s indescribable and overwhelming. it’s you and him and the whole world. there are no words to be said.

so you hug him instead.

*****

[ferry]

it takes almost a full hour for the pure shock of seeing each other again to wear off. there’s so much joy and excitement between the two of you that for a couple minutes all you do is say ‘wow’, throwing the word back and forth like two kids playing catch.

the first thing on your itinerary was already decided by younghoon over email: seeing the statue of liberty. so, you and him board the ferry together, asking how his family’s doing and telling him about yours.

“your husband,” younghoon starts, turning slightly towards you in his seat on the ferry.

“jacob.”

he nods, mouthing his name silently. “how did you guys meet?”

“we met at this writer's retreat thing. we were kind of… i don’t know–together–i guess, while we were there, and funnily enough, it was only on our second to last day there that we realized we both live in new york. and then, it was only when we got back that we started dating.”

younghoon’s lips make a small ‘o’. “he’s a writer too?”

you nod. then smile.

“is he good?” this he asks with a hint of mischief.

you scoff. “you think i’d marry someone who isn’t any good?”

he just shrugs and smirks. an action you’ve seen him do a million times before. when you were a kid, it pissed you off. when you were 21, it made your heart flutter. now, it makes you feel like a stranger. it reminds you that all he is is somebody you used to know.

“what?” he laughs, covering his mouth embarrassedly. you didn’t even realize you were staring.

“you’ve just been a kid in my head for so long.” you shake your head, a smile haunting your lips. “it’s so weird seeing you all grown up.”

he hums. “i feel that too.”

“are you and-” you leave the space blank there. social media had told you a lot, but you don’t remember it ever telling you a name, “still together.”

he grimaces. you wish you didn’t ask. “no. we broke up some time ago.”

younghoon doesn’t say anything more about it, but honestly, it’d be more shocking if he did. even as a kid, he took things at face value, not going any deeper into contexts and double meanings. he isn’t too shy to ask what you mean, nor is he too shy to say it. that’s just who he is.

“do you have pictures from your wedding?” younghoon asks, pulling you out of your thoughts. you fetch your phone out of your pocket and show him your favorite picture from the event. you and jacob didn’t really have much money at the time of your wedding. it was a small, courthouse wedding with a dinner afterwards with just your families. the picture comes from when you were walking out of the courthouse together. with the small bouquet, jacob had purchased that morning, and the simple white dress you had thrifted a couple weeks prior. you were so happy, walking out of that building hand in hand. you were so hopeful.

“you look very nice.” younghoon tells you quietly, staring at the photo. you mutter a ‘thanks’. he then surprises you, bringing a hand up to the picture and wordlessly zooming in on your face. his gaze bounces between you and your picture. finally, looking up, he says, “you look so young.”

*****

the ferry stops for a bit near the statue, everyone rushes towards the corner nearest to the monument to take a photo. you offer to take his. he accepts, awkwardly smiling at first, fidgeting with the strap of his backpack, but then eventually, lightening up, posing cutely and requesting different angles.

while the ferry heads back to manhattan, he carefully examines all the photos you took. it reminds you of when he told you about his photographer friend in college who took photos of him for fun.

“why didn’t you want to keep talking then?” you ask abruptly.

somehow, he knows exactly what you’re talking about. your second goodbye with him. the four minute skype call.

he looks taken aback. he doesn’t look at you. “it didn’t really feel like you were giving me much of a choice.”

it’s not what you wanted to hear, but you don’t really think there’s anything he could’ve said to mend a ten year old wound born from a petty 21 year old desperate to love and be loved.

“i held that over you for a long time. i was a bit mad.”

he responds immediately. “you said goodbye so quickly. i was a bit mad too.”

you frown. “should i be sorry?”

he half laughs at that, shrugging and finally looking at you. “we were kids.”

and of course, that was all that really needed to be said.

*****

[second goodbye]

your second goodbye with younghoon happened when you just moved to new york. it was a short period of time marked by running between 10th and 14th to catch your train and eating too many meals at the ukrainian place in the basement of 7th.

the two of you had found each other again online. a friend request turned to messaging turned to skype calls every evening and sometimes even in the morning. and somehow, someway, despite the years between your last words with him, the two of you were able to pick up right where you left off. he told you about home and about all the classmates you hadn’t thought about since you left. you told him about america, about your new life, and about new york. but mainly you talked about how weird it was to see and talk to him again and about how alone you felt here.

the goodbye comes when your laptop crashes and it takes a week before you’re able to talk to him again. it comes after you spend the week devastated, crying in the middle of the street over a dropped bacon egg and cheese. it comes when your laptop is finally fixed, when you call him again, and when he doesn’t even seem worried.

“do you plan on coming to new york?” it's the first thing you say when he answers the call, two days after your laptop was fixed.

he looks like he just woke up, hair crumpled and bent in places it shouldn’t be. between a yawn he says, “what?”

“i can’t leave new york right now. so if you don’t plan on coming here, there’s no point of this anymore.”

he doesn’t say anything for a moment, looking off to the side of his camera. you stare into it. you had been practicing this conversation all day. you knew what you were going to say. and in your heart, you knew what he was going to say too.

all he ends up doing is smiling awkwardly and patting down the back of his head. “do you want me to visit?”

no, you think with a sigh, you just want more.

“i think we should end this. i need to focus on becoming a writer, and you-“

you falter here. he what?

he nods. you nod too, just as an excuse.

“okay.”

and the call ends in 4 minutes.

*****

[first confession]

the bar you’ve chosen to take him to tonight, is a small, irish pub on the corner of a street you spent half your 20s in. you feel so much older than you are, when you get off the subway, point to an old red brick building, and tell younghoon that you used to go to school here.

his gaze lingers at that building. you try not to notice, but you do.

“remember inyun?” he says after you get your drinks. his martini, your beer.

you laugh at him. “it’s actually how i got jacob.” a memory flashes in front of you: the golden glow of the string lights and jacob’s lips on yours for the first time. you can’t tell if it's the beer or the memory that makes your entire body flush with warmth.

“that game we used to play as kids,” younghoon says, excited, “we should do that here.”

you smile. how many days did you and younghoon spend sitting next to each other on the train and making up a past life for every two passengers?

“okay.�� you point to the two girls sitting at the bar, one of them on their phone, the other resting her head atop the counter. “what about them?”

younghoon turns to face them. “classmates.”

you make a noise of disapprovement. “sisters.”

he mimics the noise. “no way.”

“look.” you say, gesturing to the way the girl that was on her phone places her free hand on top of the other’s head. “it’s just so…” here you lose the words for it. the girl on her phone bends down and places the smallest kiss on her friend’s head.

“familiar.” younghoon finishes. and when your gaze falls back to him, you find that he’s already looking at you. the game somehow feels different than it did when you were kids.

younghoon inhales sharply and nods his head towards a boy and a girl playing billiards in the corner. “what about them?”

you take a moment to observe them. these two seem less familiar with each other. there’s a lot of extra laughing, a lot of awkward pauses between turns. “coworkers.” you finally say.

“strangers.” younghoon counters. “like she took his order at a food place that he left a bad review for.”

you give him a look. he shrugs.

the game continues. you do the two bartenders which you both agree must have been lovers. you do the group of boys, in business casual sitting two tables over. younghoon says they were all dogs in the same shelter. you say they were in a band together.

the game continues until the only two people in the pub who you haven’t made up a past life for are you and younghoon.

younghoon gives you a half smile. “what do you think we were in a past life?”

this was always how you and him ended the game. you wonder how many past lives the two of you have created for each other by now.

you think for a moment, eyes flicking between the bartenders who were lovers and the friends who were once family. “two people squished next to each other on the train.”

younghoon laughs at that one, knocking his head back and accidentally kicking your leg under the table. he shakes his head. “a bird and the branch it sits on.”

“a keychain and the ring it’s attached to.”

“a celebrity and their bodyguard.”

“enemies.”

“friends.”

something snags on your throat at that.

you laugh, not meaning for it to sound as forced as it does. “but we’re that now.”

a silent question hangs in the air: are we?

“why’d you come to new york?” you ask him. you already said your goodbye to him. years ago, on a skype call that felt akin to a breakup. seeing him and facing him again was not something you had expected to ever have to do. and the thing is, it’s not just facing him. it’s facing your past, and it’s facing all the different ways he’s known you.

younghoon doesn’t seem surprised that you asked, but his eyes do this…thing as he looks up from the glass. this fearless, shameless thing that makes you feel things you wish you didn’t feel. “i came to see you.”

you don’t take your eyes off his. what is it they say about eyes again? windows to the soul?

“but you and jacob.”

you flinch.

“you guys have those layers of inyun.”

“all 8000,” you whisper back to him, like the world might burst if you spoke any louder.

he nods solemnly, hopefully. “maybe you guys have even more.”

he looks at the bar. the warm light paints him in colors you’ve never seen him in before. he’s so much older than you remember. he’s so much more real than your last skype call.

(your memory of this moment fails you. you can’t remember which one of you it was that asked)

“how many layers do we have?”

a number hangs off the tip of your tongue. but the world will burst if you say it outloud. so you don’t. for the world, for yourself, for jacob.

*****

[you were right]

“you were right,” you tell jacob when you come home that night.

“about what?” he meets you in the kitchen, exhaust fan whirring in the background.

“he came to see me.”

and even just the admission of it, of the entire day you spent with younghoon, has you exhausted.

you hug jacob. he sets the book that was in his hand down on the counter and lets you. he feels so warm next to your heart. he feels so at home. and you, in your apartment, in his arms, feel split in two.

carefully, you ask him: “are you mad at me?”

“of course not.”

“do you want me to cancel tomorrow?”

“you haven’t seen him in forever. you should go.”

you exhale into his shoulder.

“i mean, it’s not like you’re going to run away with him or anything, right?” he jokes.

“please,” you scoff, “you know me.”

“i know you.” he laughs, and you feel it throughout your entire body.

“i know you.” he repeats.

you hug him tighter.

“you’re it for me.” jacob tells you quietly. “you make my life so much bigger.”

you can’t tell if it’s the confession or the exhaustion or both that brings you close to tears. “what if something happens?”

he doesn’t ask what you mean; he just repeats himself. “it’s only you.”

*****

[not touching but almost]

you meet younghoon the next morning at the hoyt-schermorhorn street station. he asks how you slept. you say well.

you stand in front of the sliding doors, holding onto the pole. he follows suit, his hand right under yours. staring at his face, you search for which features of his have stayed the same and which have changed.

“your eyes.” you say at the same moment the train screeches. he leans forward, mostly to hear you better but also to stay upright as the train sways. his fingers inch towards yours. “your eyes are still the same.”

he looks embarrassed for a moment. then smiles. you do too.

the train stops. the signs outside read: ‘fulton st’.

you look back at him. “i can’t stop smiling.” fuck the train, you’ll repeat it until he hears what you have to say.

he doesn’t ask you to repeat yourself this time. he just laughs. “why?”

you shrug, smiling again, and feeling entirely, wholly like a kid. “just ‘cause.”

his fingers inch towards yours again. you don’t even think he means for it to. you look down at your hands. close but not touching. not touching but almost.

the train stops again. ‘chambers st,’ it reads this time. you both get off.

*****

[a whole part of you i’ll never know]

there’s this memory that bounces around your head from time to time. it was before you and jacob had gotten married, in your old apartment, the one in hell’s kitchen above the thai place with the light up dragon that played pop music late into the night.

so with an old miley cyrus song floating up through the air and in through the open window, jacob tells you that there’s a whole part of you he’ll never know.

you don’t deny it at first. you turn in bed to face him, cup his cheek in your hand and flinch at the stubble growing in. you kiss him and tell him, “you know me better than anyone.”

“but i-” he hesitates here, mouth opening and closing like he can’t decide what kind of conversation he wants this to be. “it’s like there’s this whole portion of your brain that will always be out of reach. like i can see it there in the distance, but i can’t get to it.”

“just ask. i’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“it’s not that.”

“what is it then?”

“he knows that part.”

the song goes quiet. you can hear a drunk person vomiting. you can hear your heart beating. breathlessly, you say, “younghoon?”

and jacob, jacob, jacob. he looks like he regrets it. “you, just, you always talk about how you reinvented yourself when you moved to new york and how different you used to be. but what if that wasn’t the first time?”

you shake your head. “i’m not a kid anymore.”

“i know.” and against all odds, jacob smiles. “sometimes, i just wish i knew you when you were.”

*****

[second confession]

the day, in all honesty, is some of the most fun you’ve had in a long while. you and younghoon get dumplings and rice noodles in chinatown and eat them in columbus park while watching people play ping pong. he wants to go shopping in soho and so you take him to your favorite spots. you wait with him in line at the famous bakery on lafayette only for him to hate the pastry he got. and in the evening, you and younghoon meet up with jacob to get dinner near your apartment.

“so how do you like new york,” jacob asks while walking to the restaurant.

younghoon nods slowly. “not bad.”

your husband’s eyes widen. he was born and raised in new york. it’s the only place he’s ever known. “not bad?”

younghoon shrugs. “it’s a little smelly.”

jacob just chuckles at that. “you get used to it. what have you seen so far?”

“yesterday i saw the rockefeller center, times square, and central park. and then,” younghoon looks at you, “we met in tompkins square park, and we took the ferry to see the statue of liberty.”

“you know i’ve never actually been to the statue of liberty.” jacob confesses, lightheartedly.

“really?” younghoon asks dumbfounded.

“really?” you mutter to the ground.

jacob shoves his hands in his pockets and nods.

younghoon looks at you, disappointed, and jokingly says, “what are you doing? you should take your husband to see it.”

younghoon doesn’t really wait for a response, but you still give him a half-hearted laugh before putting a hand on jacob’s elbow, and quietly, almost shamefully asking, “have we really not gone?”

the conversation has moved on without you it seems. while laughing at something else younghoon’s said, jacob shakes his head ‘no’.

the rest of the dinner goes well. the food is good, and the conversation flows. jacob heads back home once it’s over to get work done, and you and younghoon go to your favorite bar in the area, a posh sort of place with dim lighting and fancy cocktails. the two of you grab seats at the bar.

“what’d you think of jacob?”

younghoon looks happy, a smile gracing his face for a moment. he tilts his head, and you almost miss the way his smile turns down. “i didn’t think liking your husband would hurt this much.” (almost). “i can tell he really loves you.”

“i love him too.” you say, just to fill the space. but what you really want is to beg him to take it back. beg him to say something else. anything else. say he hated him instead.

“yesterday, you asked me why i didn’t try to keep talking back then.” younghoon continues. “the truth i learned here is that it wouldn’t have mattered how hard i tried even if i did. you were always going to leave because you’re you. and i liked you because you’re you. and who you are is someone who leaves.”

you start to refute, but stop yourself because… he’s right. the last two times you parted ways with him, it was because of you. you started the goodbye. you were the one who left.

“but for jacob,” younghoon says, eyes scanning across the bar, staring at every bartender and every customer before finally, finally, landing on you, “you’re someone who stays.”

and it turns you fucking inside out.

“i’m sorry if i hurt you in the past, younghoon.”

younghoon doesn’t falter. he never has. “i’m not.”

*****

[last confession, last goodbye, last hello]

you walk younghoon to the uber from your apartment. the address has always been a little finicky; the uber will only stop two blocks down. the long ones. not that that matters much. nonetheless, you and younghoon walk it slowly, pausing for a couple seconds each time the wheels of his suitcase get caught on a cellar door.

“thank you for emailing me.” you tell him, lifting your chin up slightly. “i’m really glad that you did and we got to do this.

he nods. “i’m glad i did too, but i was actually a little unsure about it.”

this surprises you. the sentiment yes, but also the way he says it. tucking his hair behind his ear, and squinting his eyes at a stop light, refusing to meet yours. younghoon is the surest person you’ve ever known.

something catches in the back of your throat. something foul and hopeful. something that makes you feel young. “why?’

he shrugs, looks up at the second deli you’ve passed and mouths the name of it. like he’s practicing it, memorizing the name, the location, the guy sitting out front, and the cat that always lingers in the back. why does he care so much about the little things?

“i didn’t know if you’d want to see me again.” he finally says. “the last time we spoke was so long ago. i wasn’t sure if you had left me in the past for good.”

you hit the end of the second block where the uber will be picking him up soon, right under the ice pop shop that you always walk a little slower by on the hottest summer afternoons. across the block the walking signal is red–a memory comes back to you: your first summer in this new apartment, your first month being married too. you standing on this side of the block and jacob standing at the other. waiting for the cars to pass, waiting to greet each other in the middle of the road. you can feel that day in the bottom of your stomach. you remember exactly what jacob's hand felt like in yours.

“i think i did.” you tell him. “but i don’t regret doing this with you. it was like meeting you again, and meeting the version of myself that last saw you too.”

you turn away from the signal and look at him. he looks sad almost. “sometimes i still think of you as that kid i used to walk home from school with.”

you remember what you used to tell jacob: how you reinvented yourself when you moved to new york. you remember what he used to say back: what if that wasn’t the first time. and so, you reach into your past and try to remember who you used to be before you moved to america.

“i haven’t been that kid for a long time now,” you frown, watching younghoon’s pupils dart back and forth between yours, “but they still existed. they were still real.”

the uber pulls up. younghoon puts his suitcase in the trunk and opens the door to step inside. and with one foot in the car to the airport and one foot planted on the street you call home, he says, “what if this is just another past life and we’re already something else in another?”

the only thing you can manage to give him in response is a nod. you don’t like to think about what if.

he smiles. and you feel something break apart in your heart.

“i’ll see you then.”

in another life, younghoon is more than just a series of goodbyes. but in this one, he gets in the uber, and you don’t imagine seeing him again. you don’t think you will. because for the first time in this life, you're not the one that left–he was.

you make it halfway back down the two blocks back to your apartment when you see jacob. it just so happens to be in front of the deli younghoon had committed to memory silently beside you. you inhale deeply; it feels like the first breath you’ve taken since younghoon landed in new york. jacob is 8 stoops away from you.

at 5 you think about when you met, the writers retreat in long island, the most beautiful serene place you swear you’ve ever been and the stupid pick up line you said about inyun.

at 4, you think about his eyes, his eyes, his eyes, and the line he wrote about them in an essay that was published 3 years ago saying that they're the only part of the nervous system that's exposed, a direct line to someone's head and heart. was he right? did you look into younghoon’s mind tonight? have you been staring at jacob's heart?

at 3, you think about all this talk about past lives. and you think what if it’s not about your past lives with younghoon or with jacob? what if it’s about all the past lives within you?

at 2, you think about the kid you left in a country that doesn’t feel like yours anymore.

and at 1, you think about younghoon.

he stops right in front of you. staring at you staring at him. your whole world feels bigger than it ever has before, and your heart, in response, splits in half to fit him inside. you feel that something in your throat rise and boil.

“i’m sorry,” you finally say, before falling into his arms. the sob that’s been waiting in the bottom of your soul for the past 20 years comes bursting out of your throat. you cry into your husband's shoulder. you feel the weight of all your past lives and all your future ones like they aren't in the past or in the future, like they're now beside you begging you to imagine what could’ve been and what was.

jacob holds the back of your head. he doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t need to. it’s all been said before. instead he kisses the corner of your eye and takes you home.

**********************************************************

a/n: originally posted as an svt fic, but i loved this movie and this story too much to not repost. i hope someone sees this and enjoys it. i hope this means something to someone. i hope i've convinced you to watch the movie cause it is truly one of the best pieces of media i've ever ever consumed.

#the boyz scenarios #the boyz fanfic #younghoon scenarios #younghoon fanfic #jacob scenarios #jacob fanfic #jacob bae x reader #younghoon x reader #tbz scenarios #the boyz x reader #tbz x reader #fluff #angst #mine #8000 layers of inyun

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usercee · 1 year

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“keep your eyes ahead. you know i don’t like repeating myself.”

you’re trying. and you know he knows, eyes trained on your every move for the past hour, but his words still bite. a whimper falls past your lips, low in sound as you fight to keep from looking away.

because the sight in front of you is sinful. his smile his faint, expression easygoing as always, but the more your gaze travels downward, the more the coil just below your stomach threatens to snap. your following exhale is broken, and he hums something soft in acknowledgment.

his shirt brushes against bare skin and you’re reminded about the state of your undress—and you look away from the mirror with something akin to embarrassment. jacob tuts lowly, lips brushing just shy of your ear when he frowns, and sighs quietly.

“you never learn,” he mutters, free hand moving to gently turn your head back forward. “what am i going to do with you?”

you sniffle quietly, lips parted to give some kind of an answer you think he might be willing to accept, but his fingers curl right when you take a breath and you lungs wheeze out something strangled instead.

“that’s new,” he notes, pleasant surprise written across his features. your head spins and spins and spins. “didn’t know you could do that.” do it again, is the underlying meaning, and a few tears slide down your cheeks.

you know he doesn’t mean to make you cry. jacob is far from the kind to even exude any kind of anger towards you—patience personified, you sometimes claim—but to put toying with your emotions behind closed doors beneath him? his touch deliberate even in front of others?

you’ve made that mistake more than once. he’s right, you know. you haven’t learned, but he’s more than happy to push and prode and take until it sticks.

“close—please.” voice warbled, fresh tears fill your waterline the more his relentless pace keeps up. he only hums faintly in response, seemingly amused by your weak attempts at closing your legs. “can i—i need—”

“go ahead.”

your body sags against his with relief, nails digging into his arms as words you’re sure are well off coherency spill past your lips. static buzzes in your ears against the heightened feeling of denied orgasms past—god, please the only thing you hear your voice turned hoarse plead almost pathetically.

he takes pity on you. like he always does, thumb swiping over your clit the same moment his lips brush against your neck, grazing the skin ever so softly, and oh—something white hot lights a spark up your entire spine. you think you might be crying but you can’t feel anything but his hands and the slow expanse of your lungs desperately trying to suck in air.

“pretty,” he coos, voice low at a whisper, and you can only duck your head and try to catch your breath.

#usercee #cobie…….. vibrates silently #tbz #tbz scenarios #tbz smut #tbz x reader #tbz x y/n #tbz x you #jacob bae #jacob x reader #jacob x y/n #jacob x you #jacob scenarios #jacob smut

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biaswreckingfics · 1 year

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hiii you're one of my fave writers on this app without a doubt 😻 congratulations on your milestone!!! can i request bae173 "every little thing is you" with tbz jacob uwu 👉👈

Omg, thank you so much!! 😭😭❤️❤️

Jacob + Fluff

Song Inspiration: Every Little Thing is You by bae173

The moment you step foot into your apartment, you freeze. The dim lighting has you immediately confused and you glance around your living room to find every open space filled with lit candles. You didn't even own candles.

"Jacob?"

When he had asked for the keys to your apartment, you didn't think anything of it. You assumed he wanted a place to hang out or crash, and as his best friend, you always offered up your apartment. This, however, is the last thing you expected.

Jacob comes wandering down the hallway when he hears your voice. A bright smile rests on his face as he greets you and takes your jacket. The behavior paired with the candles suddenly has you on edge. What is he up to?

"Follow me." He takes your hand and pulls you toward the dining room table, where you find a mini home-cooked feast waiting for you. Jacob sweeps his arm over the food and says, "Ta-da!"

"Jacob…" you slowly say. "What is this?"

A nervous look crosses his features, but he tries to cover it with a smile. "It's a thank you."

As you try to take it all in, Jacob pulls out a chair for you and you slowly sink into it. "A thank you?"

Jacob nods while he sits in his own seat. He then stares at the food, pondering what he wants to say next.

"You've always been there for me. Ever since I started training and throughout my entire career as a musician. I know I told you once before, back when my career started, that I couldn't put all of my effort into a relationship. That I couldn't give you everything you deserved… Stubbornly, you said you'd wait for me until I was ready… This is my way of letting you know that I'm ready, and if it's my turn to wait for you… Then, I've got plenty of time."

#jacob fanfic #jacob fluff #jacob fic #jacob scenarios #jacob au #jacob drabbles #jacob bae fluff #jacob bae fanfiction #jacob bae fic #jacob bae au #jacob bae scenarios #jacob bae drabbles #the boyz ff #the boyz fic #the boyz fanfic #the boyz scenarios #the boyz au #the boyz fluff #the boyz drabbles

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milkybonya · 2 years

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OMG MILKY CONGRATS ON 1K!!!! IM SO HAPPY I FOUND YOYR BLOG BECAUSE ITS ONE OF THE THINGS I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO WHENEVER I OPEN TUMBLR :D but i was hoping maybe a jacob scenario where the reader has a hallway crush on him and he likes them as well :]

ILYSM SO SO MUCH AHH THANK YOU T__T i'm so grateful for you <33 and sTOP this idea is so cute ,, i hope you enjoy it~

��_hallway crush - jacob bae

☆_ set in high school, the boyz Jacob x gn reader ^-^

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onef1lm · 2 years

Text

a/n: i feel like this sucked a little because i'm half-asleep writing this but i really wanted to finish it hehe ALSO thank you for the support on my first sunwoo post 🤍 i appreciate it alot !! enjoy the content <3

you stare hard at the sleeve on your coffee holder, the heart drawn next to your name giving you butterflies. a glance towards the barista at the counter doesn't go unnoticed by him.

jacob, according to his name tag, waved at you and chuckles as you hide your blushing face in your folded arms on the table. you could practically feel your face heating up a lot more, maybe you had steam coming out of your ears too.

which is why you were even more flabbergasted when you hear the seat across you drag on the floor. you looked up to meet jacob face-to-face. he pushes the plate with a blueberry muffin towards you, beckoning you to eat it.

he winks at you before leaving, your mouth wide open in shock. for the past 3 months of visiting the café, and silent pining, you've never interacted 'til today. the napkin beside your muffin is neatly folded, almost making you squeal when you notice his message.

hello y/n,

i was wondering if we could hangout sometime! if you're up for it, i'm ending my shift in 10 minutes, so maybe you could wait? for me? but only if you want to of course!

should you agree to my abrupt request, please wave at me HAHA enjoy the muffin, i noticed it's one of your favourites :D

although i'm earnestly hoping you do.

jacob :)

#tbz #tbz blurbs #tbz imagines #tbz x reader #tbz x you #tbz scenarios #jacob x reader #jacob bae x reader #tbz jacob #jacob bae imagines #jacob bae scenarios #jacob bae blurbs #jacob imagines #jacob scenarios #jacob blurbs #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz blurbs

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hwxnghyynjin · 2 years

Text

Catch Me If You Can

Pairing: agent!jacob bae x serial killer!reader (ft. agent!kevin moon and serial killer!changmin) Genre: fbi agent!au, angst Warnings: swearing, gore, character death, injury detail, mention of drugs Words: 7,448 Taglist: @jeonwonhi @jasminexox

The streets in Seoul were always busy. Never was there a day where the streets were empty. Especially at night time. The streets were filled with reckless drivers, drunkards, drug addicts, you name it. It keeps the police department on their toes with the amount of people being brought in every night.

As much as they enjoy arresting people who have behavioural issues or for other reasons, there are 2 individuals that they have been looking for a few months now: Lee y/n and Ji Changmin. They’re probably the most ruthless and dangerous criminals in the entirety of Seoul.

The one agent who is most involved in the case is agent Jacob Bae. He’s been involved in the case since the beginning, not catching a break until he finds the pair. Every time he gets so close to finding them, it goes back to square one, making him and other FBI agents so frustrated.

He was currently at his desk, looking through some paperwork. Sighs left his mouth every now and then, the clock ticking in the background. His once hot cup of coffee was now cold, sitting on his desk in front of him. There hasn’t been a murder for the past few days, and everyone is getting to a dead end with the case.

It was only Monday morning and Jacob was already done with the week. His fiancee has been rather distant lately, which he doesn’t even know why. He had an argument with his parents, saying that he’s too obsessed with the case and he should quit his job and do something else. They’ve never been supportive with his decisions, saying that he’s disobeyed their words, to which he had a go at them for.

He left his desk to get another cup of coffee, when he accidentally knocked into someone. “Shit, sorry”, he said, not bothering to see who he knocked into. “Hey, buddy, are you ok? No offence but, you look like shit”, the familiar voice said. Jacob turned around and saw Kevin, someone he hasn’t seen in years. Just seeing his face made his mood better, a smile reaching his face.

“Kevin? What are you doing here?”, Jacob said, and Kevin’s expression turned to realisation. “Oh my god, Jacob? You work here too?”, Kevin said, asking a really obvious question which Jacob rolled his eyes at. “No, I just like the coffee here”, he said, making the both of them chuckle.

They both went to the kitchen and caught up after not seeing each other for years. “So, how’s life been going for you then?”, Kevin asked as he poured himself a coffee. “Honestly? It’s been going downhill if I’m being honest. My wife has been distant, which I have no idea why, and I had an argument with my parents about this case that I’m on, saying I’m too obsessed. I’m kinda having financial issues too. I have bills to pay and I’m behind on the rent. I’m struggling, man”, Jacob said, Kevin giving him a sympathetic look.

Kevin and Jacob both met at school in Canada, immediately becoming best friends. They were inseparable, attached at the hip. That was until the both went to different universities, and they suddenly lost contact. Now both of them are here in Seoul, reunited after so many years, working for the FBI.

“So, how long have you been working here then?”, Jacob asked as he walked back to his desk, Kevin following behind. “Oh, I only started here yesterday”, Kevin said. Jacob sat at his desk, while Kevin went back to his. Suddenly, the director walked in, who goes by the name of Dongwook, making a ruckus, which usually means something had happened.

“There has been another murder”, he said, alerting the others. “The victim was 24 year old Lee Sangyeon, and his body was found mutilated on the side of the round. An L and a J was carved into his body, meaning this definitely was the work of Lee y/n and Ji Changmin. The murder weapon is still unknown, but by how deep the wound is, I’m going to say they were inflicted by a machete”, he said, pictures of them mutilated body showing up on the screen as he spoke.

Everyone was looking at the screen, some jotting down notes. Jacob and Kevin were standing next to each other now, no longer sitting at their desks. Kevin started feeling queasy, seeing the mutilated body on the screen, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“Hey, kid, how do you feel about starting your first case?”, Dongwook said to Kevin, pointing at him. A part of Kevin felt excited, but the other part of him was nervous. What happens if he accidentally screws up and gets someone killed? Or worse, accidentally gets himself killed? He tried putting the nervousness away, not wanting anyone to find out how he was really feeling.

While Jacob, Kevin and the rest of the team were dealing with the case, y/n and Changmin were laughing maniacally while they were speeding down a highway. They hijacked a car, not caring if they got blood all over the seat. They didn’t bother wiping the blood off their faces, just wanting to get away as soon as possible.

They both left the car behind an abandoned house, walking away from it. y/n’s boots were loud against the ground, skipping along as she laughed. Changmin watched her in admiration as he walked along the path, swinging the machete in his hand.

They both met in a bar a few months back, about a month before the murders started. y/n was sitting on a stool, drinking on a strong liquor. She had splashes of blood on her face, as well as blood covering her clothes. The people around her were not taking any notice as they were either too drunk to care or they just didn’t think too much of it. Changmin took a seat beside her, ordering himself a drink and striking up a conversation. They spoke as if they had known each other for years.

An hour before y/n arrived at the bar, she was having an argument with her boyfriend. Something about her not taking her medication. She said she feels fine without her medication, not feeling like a zombie all the time. Her boyfriend disagreed, saying he preferred her feeling like a zombie and in control of her emotions instead of her going off on one. That made her really pissed, her anger starting to take over her as her boyfriend continued spurting out nonsense.

Her eyes trailed onto a knife on the kitchen counter, feeling a murderous rage bubbling up inside of her. The words that left her boyfriend's mouth made her lose all control of her emotions, “I can’t do this anymore. You’re messed up in the head and I can’t handle it”. y/n didn’t think as she grabbed the knife as she stabbed him in the shoulder, making him cry out of pain. She continued stabbing him, his body falling to the floor as she got on top of him, blood spurting onto her face. His screams abruptly stopped as his body laid on the floor, blood surrounding him.

y/n stood up off her boyfriend’s dead body as she dropped the knife, smiling sadistically. She finally felt free. She didn’t bother cleaning herself up as she left the house. And that’s where she ended up inside the bar. She was drinking strong liquor out of her glass while looking at Changmin. She noticed a menacing look on his face, the corner of his mouth slightly upturned into a small smirk. The look he gave was cold, but y/n liked that.. He also had blood on him, but not as much as y/n.

Before he arrived at the bar, he was at his parents house. His parents thought he was going there to have dinner with them, but the dark truth was: he hated his parents, so he wanted- no needed- to kill them. They kept bombarding him, telling him what to do. He found it frustrating that he couldn’t have a single day where he wasn’t bombarded with stupid questions. The final straw was when his father turned up at his house without telling him, barging into his home like he lived there. He complained about the area Changmin was living in, and nitpicking at certain parts in the house. Changmin was annoyed at his behaviour, he couldn’t handle it.

Changmin stood in the kitchen, looking at his parents who were now tied to a chair. They struggled against the restraints, crying out in pain. Changmin smirked at them as he twirled his gun in his hand. He stalked towards his mother slowly, seeing the fear in her eyes. Tears rolled down her face as Changmin aimed the gun at her head, about to pull the trigger, until his father screamed. “STOP! Why are you doing this? You’re not our son, you’re a fucking psychopath”, his father yelled, a hint of fear in his voice. Changmin chuckled darkly as he put the gun down and turned to his father.

“Oh father, you’re the reason why I’m like this. If only you kept your fucking distance and didn’t bombard me, I wouldn’t need to do this”, Changmin said, looking his father in the eye. He smiled as he aimed the gun at his head, and he pulled the trigger. His mother screamed as blood and brain matter splattered everywhere, including on her face. She whimpered uncontrollably as she watched Changmin’s next movements carefully.

“Changmin, please don’t. You don’t have to do this”, she cried, pain evident in her voice. Changmin sighed as he put the gun down, holding it at his side. “You’re right, I don’t have to do this”, he said as his mother let out a sigh of relief, thinking she was safe, until-

BANG

“I need to do this”, Changmin said as he blew his mother’s head off. He dropped the gun and left the kitchen, heading towards the front door. He opened it and left, closing the door behind him. And that’s where he ended up inside the bar, and where he met y/n.

Back to the present. y/n and Changmin were walking along a pavement, houses coming into view. Changmin hid his machete behind him, putting it under his shirt. Changmin saw a car parked in front of a house, meaning the house is occupied. y/n noticed where Changmin was looking and an idea popped into her head. She looked at Changmin and gave him a look, a look which only Changmin knows. They walked towards the house slowly, getting ready to start their plan.

Changmin knocked on the door, waiting for it to open. They both pretended to be fearing for their lives, making sure to look believable for when the door opened. A middle aged man answered the door, seeing y/n and Changmin. He noticed blood on them and looked mortified, but he let them in. When he turned around, he didn’t see the smirk on their faces.

Changmin closed the door behind them and followed the man further into the house. They saw a woman standing at a table in a kitchen, who they assumed was the middle aged man’s wife. She turned around and saw the two, and she smiled a little before waving at them. They waved back and smiled back, and continued to follow the man.

They followed the man into a living room and when the man’s back was turned, Changmin whacked him over the head, knocking him unconscious. The sound of the man’s body dropping to the floor alerted his wife, making her run into the living room. She saw her husband’s body on the floor, unconscious. She gasped and turned to run, but y/n was quicker as she grabbed the woman by her hair, shoving her head into the wall a couple of times, knocking her unconscious.

-------------------------------

When the couple came to, they found themselves tied to a chair with their hands tied to it, along with their ankles. They both struggled against the restraints, until the sound of footsteps was heard. They looked up and saw Changmin walking towards them, holding something behind his back. “Oh, I see you’re both awake”, he said with a sick grin on his face, making a shudder go down the couple’s back.

Changmin kneeled down in front of the woman and just smiled up at her. The fear in her eyes made him laugh as he placed a hand on her knee, making her squirm. “This will take less time if you stop fucking squirming”, his once nice demeanour was replaced with a nasty one, gripping her knee, digging his nails into the skin. She cried out, her husband beside her letting out a cry of frustration. “YAH! STOP! You can hurt me but please, leave my wife alone”, he said, tears streaming down his face. Changmin stopped what he was doing and looked over at the man.

“How cute, you’re so protective over your wife”, Changmin said as he knelt in front of the man. “You see, being protective of your loved ones can go 2 ways. One, you end up saving your loved ones without any trouble. Or 2-”, Changmin sooned stabbed a knife in the man’s knee, twisting it, making the man cry out in pain, “-you get hurt and get everyone killed”. Blood started pooling out of his knee as Changmin stuck the knife in deeper, making the man feel faint. His wife kept screaming bloody murder, which was starting to annoy Changmin.

“Shut up bitch, you’re hurting my brain”, he growled as he took the knife out of the man’s knee. The knife must have hit an artery as when Changmin took the knife out, blood started squirting everywhere, but not enough for it to kill him. The woman kept screaming, struggling against the restraints. Changmin got really annoyed and threw the knife, the knife flying past the screaming woman’s head and hitting the wall. “y/n! Are you finished?! This bitch is annoying me with her screaming”, Changmin yelled to y/n, who was in the kitchen. “Alright, alright, I’m coming”, y/n said casually as she entered the room, holding what looked like a syringe in both hands.

“W-what are they?!”, the woman asked, fear evident in her voice. y/n just chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry. You won’t feel a thing. Well, it might sting and you’ll feel a burning inside your body but it’ll be over before you know it”, she smiled at the woman like she isn’t about to murder her. y/n walked behind her and grabbed her hair, moving her head to the side. The woman struggled against her as y/n stuck the syringe in her neck, injecting the fluid into her neck. “What did you just inject into me?!”, the woman asked frantically, her body starting to feel weird. “Oh, just bleach. The other syringe I have here is actually heroin I found in the kitchen. Which one of you guys is a drug addict, hm? Drugs can kill you, you know?”, y/n said while getting the other syringe ready.

“You motherfucker! You literally just injected bleach into me and you’re talking about how drugs can kill you?! You’re fucking messed up”, the woman’s words started to slur towards the end, the effect of the bleach in her system starting to work. “Honey, I wouldn’t talk if I were you”, y/n said, Changmin looking at her do her thing. The man was still losing blood, as he sat there unconscious.

y/n grabbed the woman’s arm and stabbed the needle of the syringe in her arm, injecting the heroin into her veins. y/n stood back as she waited for the drugs to take effect with the bleach inside her body. “Yo, is he dead yet?”, she asked Changmin, looking at the man’s unconscious body. Changmin stood up and went to get the knife he threw. He picked it up and went towards the man, and grabbed his hair and sliced his throat open. Blood gushed out, the man gasped for air. His body soon went limp. “He’s dead now”, Changmin said.

They’re not sure how long has passed, but the woman started frothing at the mouth, her body starting to shake. Changmin and y/n looked at both of the bodies in front of them, smirking to themselves. They waited for what felt like hours but it was only around 15 minutes until they decided to leave. Suddenly, as they were about to head towards the front door, they heard a noise coming from outside, and a car door slamming shut. The two ran out of the house, opting for the back door so they could leave unnoticed. They managed to escape before people stormed inside the house.

While Changmin and y/n ran off somewhere far from the house, the FBI agents stormed inside with guns. They had gotten a call by a neighbour saying they heard screaming coming inside the house, and they got there immediately after the call. Kevin and Jacob were together as they moved further into the house. They went into the living room and saw the two dead bodies. “We have 2 dead bodies over here”, Jacob said, alerting the others as they came storming into the living room.

Dongwook stared at the bodies while one of the team checked them. “They’re still warm sir. They’ve been dead for at least 10 minutes”, they said, looking at Dongwook. “Shit”, he muttered under his breath. While Dongwook paced around, the dead couple was placed into body bags to be taken away. “Fuck!”, Dongwook suddenly shouted, making others around him jump out of fright. He wasn’t the one to shout so whenever he does shout, it scares people around him. “They can’t be far”, he said to no one in particular.

As Jacob stood up, he suddenly felt dizzy. He stumbled into Kevin, catching his attention, as well as others. “You alright there?”, Dongwook asked Jacob, walking over to him. “Just felt a bit dizzy, that’s all. I haven’t been sleeping well the past few nights”, Jacob said, which is the truth. As Kevin stood next to Jacob, he could easily see how pale Jacob suddenly went.

“Ok, I think it’s best if you go home and get some reason. You can come back to work tomorrow if you’re feeling better, ok? And that’s an order”, Dongwook said sternly, looking straight at the younger.

Jacob left the house with one member of his team, following them to a car as they both left the scene.

-------------------------------

Jacob got dropped off in front of his house after he picked up his stuff from the FBI headquarters. His team member drove off back to the crime scene where they were previously. He got his keys out of his bag to open the front door but, as he went to unlock it, he noticed it was already unlocked. He furrowed his eyebrows as he opened it, going inside. Everywhere was dark apart from a glimmer of light coming from the end of the hall. He put his keys in the bowl on the table and put his bags down. Everything was quiet as he walked further into the house but, as he got closer to the light, the noises he heard made him feel disgusted.

He stormed into the room, seeing his wife Lisa straddling a strange man. “What the fuck!?”, Jacob yelled, startling the both of them. “J-jacob? You’re not supposed to be home until later”, Lisa said, not even bothering to move off the man. “You’re literally sucking someone’s face off, and you’re more bothered about me being home early?! We’ve only been married for, what, nearly 3 years? And you’re already tired of me”, Jacob said, feeling angry, hurt and betrayed.

“Jacob, you’re obsessed with a case and you haven’t had any time for me. I felt lonely”, she said, earning a scoff from Jacob. “You felt lonely? So instead of telling me, you opted for cheating? Wow, how pathetic. You know what? I can’t deal with this anymore. I’m tired and you betrayed me. You remember our vows? ‘Til death do us part’? Well, that was a lie, wasn’t it?”, Jacob said rather calmly, which frightened the two on the couch.

Jacob took off his wedding ring and placed it on the table in front of him. “I want you out. Now”, he said, his voice an octave deeper. His wife -soon to be ex wife- got off the man and pulled him up, leaving the room. “Don’t even bother grabbing your stuff, I don’t want you in my house anymore. You can collect your stuff tomorrow”, Jacob said, hearing the door close after he said that.

Now that he was alone, his tears flowed down his cheeks as he let out sobs of anger, hurt, betrayal and pain. He fell to the floor, the tiredness finally getting to him from the lack of sleep. He felt the material of the carpet underneath him, leaning back against the couch. A mixture of sickness, tiredness and pain came over him, making him feel as if he was going to throw up. He got up and ran to the bathroom, making it in time before throwing up in the toilet.

After he finished vomiting, he flushed the toilet and proceeded to brush his teeth. He walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, now standing in the middle of the room. He stared at the pictures around the room: polaroids of him and Lisa from when they were 18, pictures from their wedding day. She was the love of his life and now, she’s out of his life, all because of a case he’s ‘obsessed’ with. A surge of anger came over him, ripping the pictures off the wall, tearing them up and hot tears of anger streamed down his face. Photo frames thrown off the walls, shards of glass going everywhere from each broken frame.

Clothes were thrown everywhere, covering the floor. Blood dripped from his hands due to shards of glass grazing the skin. He had the sudden urge to scream, so that’s what he did: he let out a heart wrenching scream, falling to his knees as he let all his emotions out. After he was done screaming, he got up and went out the room, going down the stairs. He went into the kitchen and grabbed some bin bags and went back upstairs, and proceeded to throw the clothes in bin bags.

All of Lisa’s belongings were now in bin bags, being thrown outside the front door as Jacob slammed the door when he was finished. He then ran back upstairs and into his bedroom, and threw himself onto his bed, where he stayed for the rest of the day, falling into a deep sleep.

-------------------------------

The next morning, Kevin was on his way to work, walking with a spring in his step. The sky was cloudy, grey clouds forming above him. He suddenly felt like he was being watched as he walked into a dark alleyway, a shortcut to the headquarters. He soon regretted taking the shortcut as he saw two figures a couple of feet in front of him, Kevin noticing what looked like a machete in one of the figures hands.

Kevin turned around, hoping to get away from them. He began to run out of the alleyway but, unfortunately, he wasn’t quick enough as he felt someone grab him from behind. A bag was thrown over his head as he thrashed around, trying to get away, but nothing worked.

The next thing Kevin knew, he was being thrown into the back of, what he assumed was, a van. The vehicle suddenly drove away, making Kevin move all over the place. It was going quite quickly, Kevin was worried they were going to crash. “Yah, first of all, slow down, you’re going to crash. Second of all, let me go!” Kevin yelled. He kept yelling, which ended up being muffled due to the bag over his head.

“Shut up pig, you’re annoying me”, a male voice said. Kevin just did as he was told as he didn’t want to make them more angry, so he just laid there.

-------------------------------

Kevin felt himself being thrown onto a cold floor, his arms tied behind his back. He tried crawling away but he felt someone grab his ankles, dragging him across the floor as he let out a yell. He felt himself be lifted up and placed onto a chair, his arms being untied and placed behind the chair, being tied again. His ankles were tied to the legs of the chair, making him unable to thrash around.

The bag that was on his head was soon thrown off of him, the bright light hitting his eyes. He squinted, adjusting to the light around him. “Hello there, sunshine”, the girl said in front of him, smiling. Kevin looked really confused, wondering where he was and who the 2 people were in front of him, though he did have a good idea who they were but he wasn’t sure.

“Oh, let me introduce myself. I’m Lee y/n and the guy over there is Ji Changmin”, she said, smirking at Kevin as his face showed a frightened expression. “H-how did you find me?”, Kevin stuttered, worried for his life. “Oh, you don’t need to know that. Just be a good boy and we won’t kill you”, y/n said as Kevin sighed, “yet”, y/n added on, which scared Kevin.

“Changmin”, y/n called Changmin, which made him look at her. “You can do your…. thing now”, which made Changmin grin evilly, now standing in front of Kevin. The machete that he was holding before was now replaced with a baseball bat, which had blood splatters on it. “What are you doing?”, Kevin asked again, now feeling terrified. He tried not to be, but he’s never been in a position like this before, and he’s still new to the whole FBI thing, so he has no idea how to act in this type of situation.

Changmin raised the baseball bat above his head, and hit Kevin over the head, making him yell out of pain. He continued hitting him, blood dripping down the side of his head. “Ok Changmin, that’s enough”, y/n said, Changmin dropping the baseball bat as it hit the floor with a thud.

“What do you want from me?”, Kevin asked, annoyance starting to bubble up inside him. “I want you to call your boss and tell him to stop looking for us, ok? That way, no one else will get hurt. Well, I won’t hurt the people you love”, y/n said, holding a knife to Kevin’s throat, digging the blade into the skin, a little bit of blood trickling down.

“Why would I do that? You’d still end up murdering more people”, Kevin said, which y/n didn’t like and she punched him in the face with such force, the chair fell backwards. y/n crouched down and grabbed Kevin by the hair, pulling his head up to force him to look at her. “You better do as I say, sunshine, otherwise I’ll kill you, cutting you up limb by limb. You don’t want that to happen, do you? I don’t want to kill such a pretty boy” y/n pouted, earning a scoff from Changmin.

“Ok that’s enough talking. Where’s your phone, pretty boy?”, Changmin asked, searching through his pockets. He found his phone and took it out of his pocket, turning it on. y/n untied Kevin’s arms and held him down, ensuring he doesn’t do anything to escape.

“Don’t do anything stupid, pretty boy, cause you’ll regret it”, Changmin said as he handed Kevin his phone. Kevin’s hands shook as he dialled his boss’ number, putting the phone up to his ear. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. After the third ring, he heard a voice.

“Kevin?!? Where the fuck are you?”, Dongwook asked, his voice filled with anger and worry. What Kevin didn’t know was that, on the other end of the phone, Dongwook was silently asking his team members to track his phone. “Don’t worry about me boss, I’m fine”, he mentally punched himself as his voice wavered. “Just… stop looking for y/n and Changmin”, Kevin started shaking as he felt 2 pairs of eyes on him the entire time, a knife on his throat.

“What are you talking about? We can’t just stop looking for them Kevin, we need to find them so more people don’t get killed”, Dongwook sounded irritated by the request from Kevin, but also worried since he knows Kevin wouldn’t be saying that on his own back. “If we carry on looking for them, then I’ll be killed next”, Kevin said without thinking, and he soon hung up after that. He dropped his phone and the knife on his throat was no longer there.

“Good boy”, y/n said as she patted his cheek, making Kevin flinch. “Don’t touch me”, he spat and narrowed his eyes. Changmin didn’t like the way Kevin spoke to y/n so he grabbed Kevin by the hair, pulling him, earning a scream from him. The sound of the chair scraping along the floor could be heard throughout the room. Changmin soon grabbed his knife and stabbed Kevin in the leg over and over, Kevin screaming for him to stop. Blood trickled out of his leg, making him feel faint. He soon passed out after a few minutes, the last thing he heard was a door closing.

-------------------------------

The sound of Jacob’s phone ringing woke him up, startling him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, searching for his phone which was still in his pocket. He looked at the clock near his bed, the clock reading 2pm. “Hello?”, his voice sounded hoarse as he answered the call.

“Jacob! I know you’re off for a bit but, this is an emergency. It’s Kevin. y/n and Changmin have him and he’s in trouble”, Dongwook’s words made Jacob’s eyes go wide and he got out of bed in an instant. “I’ll text you the location and we’ll meet you there”, Dongwook said as he hung up. Not even a few minutes later, Jacob received a text message with the location.

Jacob ran down the stairs and grabbed his keys, along with his guns, before leaving the house, locking the door behind him. He ran to his car, unlocking it and got in, starting the car immediately before driving off towards the location he was given.

Not even 10 minutes later, he was finally at the location, which looked like an abandoned warehouse. Jacob seemed to be the first one there as he got out of his car, slamming the door shut and locked it, before running inside the warehouse.

He opened the door, aiming his gun in front of him, and went inside. He saw something lying in the middle of the warehouse, which looked like a body. He immediately knew who it was and started running towards it. “Kevin!”, he shouted, hoping he was conscious. But as he was about to reach him, a voice stopped him.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up”, a male voice said, which Jacob knew who it was. Jacob aimed his gun at Changmin, which made Changmin put his arms up with a smile. “If you’re going to shoot me, just do it already. Or are you a coward?”, Changmin said with a smirk, the sound of laughter being heard afterwards. “Oh, we definitely know he’s a coward, Changmin. Just look at him”, y/n said, now standing behind Jacob.

Suddenly, the sound of cars were heard outside, doors slamming as more people ran inside. Dongwook was the first to run inside, his gun in front of him. “Jacob! Go grab Kevin, we’ll deal with Changmin and y/n”, Dongwook said, nodding at Jacob. Before Jacob ran over to Kevin, he shot his gun, hitting Changmin in the leg. Changmin fell to the floor with a yell as Jacob ran over towards Kevin.

When he reached Kevin, he noticed blood on his leg and his head, which alerted him. “Someone help me!” Jacob yelled, one of his team members running over a few seconds later. “What happened to you?”, his team member said as they looked at his hands, which were covered in dried up blood. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it”, Jacob replied as the both of them lifted Kevin up, his arms wrapped around their necks before moving him.

“You two get Kevin out of here, we’ll deal with these two”, Dongwook shouted as they went towards the exit. As they reached the outside, they saw an ambulance pull up, and they headed for it. Two paramedics got out of the ambulance and carried Kevin to the stretcher, putting him in the back of the ambulance.

Without hesitation, Jacob ran back into the warehouse, his gun in his hand. The sound of gunshots rang in his ears as he saw his team members and Dongwook tackling Changmin, but no sign of y/n. He looked around, trying to find her. He let his guard down for just a moment but that gave y/n time to come up behind him and tackle him to the ground. His gun slid out of reach, y/n pinning him to the ground.

“Make sure to always watch your back cause you never know what’s lurking behind you”, y/n said smirking before striking a punch, hitting Jacob right in the nose. Jacob saw that y/n was holding a knife so he grabbed both of her wrists before she could strike, gripping her wrists tightly.

“I bet you like being in positions like this”, y/n said with a smirk, earning a scoff from Jacob. He gripped both of her wrists in one hand and flipped the both of them over, grabbing her knife and throwing it across the floor. The sound of police sirens were heard and shouting. “It’s over, bitch”, Jacob said, who was now the one smirking as y/n let out a snarl. Jacob got up, still holding y/n with a tight grip.

Police officers ran inside the warehouse, running towards the two homicidal maniacs, handcuffing them both and taking them away. They locked them both in the back of the police van, driving away from the warehouse.

Jacob finally let out a sigh of relief, knowing that they have been caught after a good few months of trying to find them. Dongwook stood behind him, putting his hand on Jacob’s shoulder, patting it. “We’ve done it, kid”, Dongwook said, a smile on his face. “You head over to the hospital to check on Kevin”, Dongwook told him, pushing him forward lightly. Jacob didn’t need to be told twice as he ran towards the exit, going to his car.

-------------------------------

It’s been a couple of hours since Jacob got to the hospital, waiting for a nurse to update him on Kevin. He was sitting in the waiting room, anxiously moving his legs. Suddenly, a nurse walked into the waiting room and Jacob immediately stood up.

“Is he ok?”, Jacob asked, his voice cracking near the end. “He had a pretty good knock to the head, which I’m sure was caused by a baseball bat. But, we managed to stop the internal bleeding so, he’s going to be ok”, the nurse said, Jacob sighing out of relief. “He’s not awake yet, but you can go in and see him”, the nurse said and left the room.

Jacob went to the room that Kevin was in, and went inside. He saw Kevin lying on the hospital bed, his eyes closed. His head had a bandage on it, as well as his leg. Jacob sat down on the chair next to the bed, waiting for Kevin to wake up. A sudden wave of tiredness came over Jacob, so he closed his eyes for a moment, and ended up falling into a deep sleep.

About an hour later, Kevin woke up, squinting his eyes to adjust to the bright lights above him. He groaned out of pain, trying to sit up. The sound woke up Jacob, seeing Kevin now awake. “You’re awake, thank god”, Jacob said, earning a confused look from Kevin. “What do you remember?”Jacob asked.

“I remember walking to work and went through an alleyway. I was captured by two people, who I soon realised were Changmin and y/n. I ended up in an abandoned warehouse and got hit over the head with a baseball bat. They forced me to call Dongwook to stop looking for them. The next thing I knew, I saw being stabbed in the leg a few times, and then, I passed out”, Kevin answered, Jacob nodding along to everything he said.

Kevin’s eyes suddenly went wide after a few minutes of silence. “Did you manage to capture them?”, Kevin asked, earning a nod from Jacob. “Yup, they’re finally going to be locked up for the rest of their lives”, Jacob smiled as Kevin sighed out of relief.

The door suddenly opened and a nurse walked in. “We’ll need to keep you in for a few more days, Mr Moon, and then you’ll be able to leave. We just need to run a few more tests”, the nurse said and then bowed, before leaving the room, closing the door behind them.

Jacob looked back at Kevin and saw him smiling. “Why are you smiling?”, Jacob asked as Kevin chuckled. “I’ve never been called Mr. Moon before. I could get used to that”, Kevin said as Jacob rolled his eyes, letting out a laugh.

-------------------------------

A few days had passed, and Jacob was sitting on the couch, watching TV. He was watching the news, hoping to catch an update about Changmin and y/n. The reporter on the TV mentioned their names, which made Jacob put all of his focus on the screen in front of him.

The serial killers Lee y/n and Ji Changmin were finally caught a few days ago and are currently on trial. We’ll update you with the results soon

Jacob scrolled through his phone to pass the time while waiting for the results of the trial. He hopes that they get the punishment that they deserve for all the people they have murdered. A few minutes had passed and a live video of the trial was put on the screen. Jacob put his phone down and watched the trial.

“....and the punishment for all the people they have murdered has been confirmed. They will both get the death penalty by lethal injection”

Jacob was happy with the result, hoping the family of all the deceased victims will get justice. Changmin and y/n were taken away in shackles, leaving the room. The sound of Jacob’s phone ringing alerted him, making him grab it and answer the call. “Hello?”, he answered. “I assume you watched the trial?”, the sound of Dongwook’s voice was heard from the other end. “I did watch it. I’m glad they’re getting the punishment they deserve”, Jacob said. “I also got some more news,'' Dongwook said, which gained Jacob’s interest.

“A few hours before they get the death penalty, you have to talk to them”, were the words that made Jacob choke on his saliva. “Wait, why me? Like, yeah I understand that always happens before someone gets the death penalty but, why me?”, Jacob asked out of confusion, wondering why it needs to be him. “Because y/n requested it”, which Jacob scoffed at. “Ok then. Guess I’ll have to deal with the consequences after the interview”.

-------------------------------

It’s a few hours before their death penalty, and Jacob is waiting to talk to the both of them. He’s standing outside the room they are in, and he feels nervous. What’s going to happen once he goes inside the room? He’s going to find out soon as the door opens next to him. He’s given the signal that he’s allowed to go in the room, the door closing behind him once he’s inside.

Jacob sits down opposite the two, clasping his hands together on the table. “Hello there, sunshine. Nice to see you again”, y/n said with a grin, her hands chained to the table. “Quit the bullshit, y/n”, Jacob said, annoyed. Changmin rolled his eyes at the two, wanting this to be over.

“Why?”, was the first thing Jacob asked. “Why what?”Changmin replied. “Why did you do it? Why did you two kill those innocent people? They didn’t deserve what happened to them”, Jacob’s voice was full of anger, but he remained calm, not wanting to create a scene. “We did it because it’s fun”, y/n replied, showing no signs of remorse whatsoever.

“You think murdering innocent people is fun? How sick do you have to be to think that’s fun”, his face showed disgust and terror, anger bubbling up inside him. “Well, this all started when I murdered my boyfriend. I didn’t want to take my medication since it made me feel like a zombie most of the time, but my boyfriend thought differently. He said I was messed up in the head and wanted to break up with me, but my anger took over and I stabbed him numerous times”, y/n’s voice didn’t show any signs of emotion.

“And what about you Changmin, huh? How did this start for you?”Jacob was actually intrigued in listening to what he had to say. “My parents wouldn’t stop bombarding me. Kept telling me what to do, how to live my life. I couldn’t just live a normal fucking life like other people my age, I had to deal with my annoying, patronising parents. But, I did what I had to do. I took their lives from this world by blowing their heads off”, Changmin’s voice sounded hurt and full of anger. But that didn’t stop Jacob from being manipulated by them.

“So that’s your excuse, is it? Your anger took over you both so you turned to murdering people?”Jacob had enough with listening to what they had to say so he got up to leave the room. But before he reached the door, y/n said something.

“How’s Lisa, by the way?”

Jacob turned around and stared at her. “What did you just say?”, he asked, just standing there, frozen. “That’s the name of your wife, right? Well, she was your wife, anyway”, the both of them laughed as Jacob just stood there confused as ever. “How do you know I have a wife?”Jacob kept asking question after question.

“That’s what she said to us before I sliced her pretty throat, blood dripping down her as her body went limp in my arms”, Changmin said with a manic laugh. Jacob yelled at that, and he had to be taken out of the room. “Just hurry up with their death penalty please, I can’t anymore”, Jacob said as he walked off.

-------------------------------

Jacob was waiting in the room above, looking through the window to see y/n and Changmin being strapped to a chair, people getting ready with the lethal injection. They attached a needle to their arms, which had a tube attached to the machine which had the lethal injection in. Jacob noticed both of y/n and Changmin showed no signs of fear or regret, they were both… smiling?

After everything was ready, one of the workers gave a signal for the injection to go ahead. The person in the other room (who Jacob assumed was the person in charge) pressed a red button, which started the machine.

A blueish colour travelled through the tubes and into their arms, going straight into their veins. They both started gasping as it began to work, y/n coughing while Changmin tried thrashing around but it was no use since he was strapped down.

A few minutes later and they were both pronounced dead. Jacob couldn’t hide his smile as he left the room, walking down a corridor, heading towards a set of doors. He opened the doors, not looking back as he headed towards his car. He got in his car and put the key in the ignition, driving off immediately. He never felt so happy over a case being over.

#jacob imagines #jacob scenarios #jacob angst #jacob au #jacob x reader #jacob bae #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz angst #the boyz au #the boyz x reader #the boyz

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stealanity · 2 years

Text

white lily ✩ bae jacob

my love for you was pure.

summary : mama told me, summer loves were the best. i can’t say she was right, and i can’t say she was wrong, because you were probably the most pure of my love stories. you were much more radiant than the sun during my holidays, leaving warmth on my skin. but just like summer, our love had an end.

warning : one swear word, mention of alcool, mean mom, a lot of crying

word count : 2.4k>

main masterlist !

⠀⠀⠀dear bae joonyoung,

it's been a while, right? i'm for not having replied to your messages. i'm sorry to have left without saying anything. and to have left you without news for months.

i didn't even know that i still had your address saved in my phone, i only discovered it recently. but it's a chance for me, because i really wanted to write you a few words.

do you remember those two summer months we spent together? personally, it's inked in the back of my head, thousands of memories that i'll probably never forget.

did you know that i hate the beach, the sun and the heat? i think so. if you hadn't guessed that, when your gaze filled with joy crossed mine filled with laziness, i would have asked myself some questions. it's a miracle that i ran into you on the first day of my arrival. if it hadn't happened, i think i would have spent my vacation inside reading and complaining all the time. you looked so happy playing football with your friends, under the hot sun.

you immediately captivated me, you know? i already only had eyes for you, even if the way we spoke for the first time wasn't the best. i really thought i was going to have the mark of the ball on my cheek all the holidays ! come to think of it, i was very aggressive and mean to you, when you weren't even responsible. that really wasn't right, and i seriously think the whole beach heard me yelling at you. i'm still impressed by the way you always kept your calm and a kind smile on your lips, you never answered me and you even apologized for your friend. notice, that's how we started seeing each other, you and me. you invited me to a campfire that evening, assuring me that you would make amends for disfiguring me. i simply accepted because, first of all : i didn't want to stay with my parents, and two : i had nothing better to do.

but it was a good idea, because in the end, i had fun. even the beer tasted good being by your side. you lured me to a summer party full of half-dead-drunk teenagers, to play me a guitar song that left me speechless. i think that's when i said to myself that after all, the beach wasn't so bad. even though my shoes were full of sand, my hair was messy from the wind, you made me feel like the prettiest girl just by the sound of your voice. by the way, do you still sing? you wanted to have your own band, right? i sincerely hope that you were able to achieve this, because you were really, very talented. i hope your dream has come true.

i was very lucky to come across you. Who would have thought that my filthy sixteen-year-old character could attract the attention of your kind and caring heart? it was so unexpected, cause we were complete opposites. you were like the summer sun : always smiling, encouraging, ready to help anyone in need. and i was like the winter moon : lazy, a walking grumpy cat and asocial. but you animated the rays of the sun that slept in me during his vacation. that i finally loved.

after this evening by the fire, i remember spending each of my days and my nights with you. i think we did all the possible beach activities together by the way. one of the most memorable for me was probably the time you wanted to teach me to surf. you looked determined to hold me on the board, despite i warned you that i had absolutely no balance. you were cute explaining things to me carefully, on how to hold my surfboard, how to get on it without falling, how to dominate the wave without ending up in the water. it was a very productive lesson, if you forget the hundreds of times i fell straight in ths salt water. it was funny because i was so bad at surfing, but you didn't want me to give up. we tried for hours, and even days, but unfortunately without great results. but you kept repeating that you were proud of me, of the (non-existent) progress i had made, and despite everything, i believed in it. it was new to know that someone was proud of me, and as sincerely as you were. it filled my heart with a gentle warmth, like the rays of the sun which interfere between the clouds.

another memorable memory : our first walk by the sea. that day you were very patient with me. i had argued with my parents that morning about my future studies, and i didn't want to talk to anyone. and when you saw me so demoralized, you didn't leave me alone for a second. you brought me an italian vanilla ice cream, and you even gave me a very beautiful seashell (that i still have in my bedroom by the way). its blue colors were so beautiful, that i still wonder how you could find such a work of art in the sand. but despite the fact that you always stayed close to me, you never forced me to talk to you about anything. you didn't speak either by the way, which created a silence between us. but this silence was anything but awkward. it was reassuring and comforting, like when you get up in the morning and see the sun through the window, that means it's going to be sunny. it was the same satisfaction as that. then, at the end of the day, you practically pulled me by the hand, finally making me move from my seat for the first time that day, to make me gently frolic along the beach. you even encouraged me to take off my shoes to take advantage of the good temperature of the water, and you were totally right. the memory of the waves hitting my ankles is one of the best memories i can have. i was really sad that day, but you took away my bad mood and my resentment, as the summer breeze blows the grains of sand from the beach. you were a master in the art of good mood, and i sincerely hope that this desire to do only good around you is still present. it was a pure and totally respectable quality that i admit, having envied you for little a time. it was also that evening that you told me that you preferred to be called jacob. it's a pretty name, i think it suits you very well. are you still using it? i think it was this information that marked me the most that evening. even though i always called you joonyoung, i thought it was like a way of telling me that you had enough trust in me to tell me something important to you, something you care about. that day, my heart was filled with a heat as imposing than a setting sun. just like the one we admired at that time.

searching on my phone the other day, i found a recording. i had to slip away to my room to listen to it, its duration was almost half an hour, i found that strange, because in general, my recordings last more than an hour because i use them for lessons. and while listening to it carefully, i recognized your voice. your sweet and angelic voice, accompanied by your guitar and the sound of crickets. and it reminded me of that night that we passed on the edge of a cliff, lit by the moonlight. it was a warm, clear night. we could see a bunch of constellations and you left me blabbing for hours about the stars and planets. i remember inspecting your face several times, your eyes filled with stardust. you looked so dreamy at the time, i felt like i was boring you with my stories, but not at all. you were just listening to me carefully, and it was even more beautiful than the starry sky. i don't know if you realized how special you made me feel that night, i felt like i was the center of your world, having every shred of your attention on me. it was rewarding and my heart kept racing so, so, so fast. but i think i completely fell in love with you, when you told me that i inspired one of the songs you wrote. i named the recording "melatonin", so i guess that's the title of your song, right? so i listened to it again and again, to remember every emotion i had felt that night. and what comes back again and again, it's love and the sweet warmth that the lyrics give me. you made me feel like the eighth wonder of the world to you, and i think it's the strongest, most wonderful, warmest and most amazing feeling you could ever hope to feel in life. no one ever made me as marshmallow and special as you.

we had some good memories together. two months? it really goes by too quickly when you properly take advantage of the time that has been granted to you. that's what i think for me, anyway. i didn't see the days go by, because you were there every minute to entertain me and help me to blossom on this beach that i cursed so much. it didn't start well, if we have to be honest, but you succeeded. to the delight of my mother. she was so happy to hear that i was dating someone during my holidays. the dinner she hosted after that, will forever be etched in my memory. she had forced me to wear a dress, uh. that yellow flower one, remember? you complimented me several times on it, telling me that it looked good on me, but i'm pretty sure inside you wanted to make fun of my look. and it's totally understandable, it was definitely not what suited me best. i already knew this dinner was going to be a disaster, from the moment she started the subject of studies and all that shit. to lower myself to the ground and say that i was good for nothing, it was not the best approach to have with the boy that i liked. however, the salad she had prepared was good. it was refreshing for this day which had been terribly hot, and it was more appetizing than those rice cakes she made me eat so i wouldn't get fat, ish. my mother has always been difficult, my relationship with her is still as bad as that time, you know. but i remember that particular day, she really made me look like a fool in front of you. i know you wanted to defend me, but unfortunately you have to respect your elders. and on the one hand, i thank you for not having said anything, because i was able to spend the end of my stay with you. i know you didn't really care what she said, you didn't need her words to form an opinion of me, but i was really embarrassed. i know that at that time, i overacted, tear off my dress in front her, screaming that i hated everything about her, then run away to my bedroom while crying like a kid, it was really pathetic. i think i had things to prove to her that day. bad timing unfortunately, because i ruined our dinner together. but i was relieved to see that you hadn't run away from me despite everything. when you knocked on my bedroom door, i knew from the softness of your knocks that it was you. i really didn't want you to see me like this, but i got you into my room anyway. so i could apologize for my bad behavior. you never criticized any of my reactions, you always looked me in the eyes with all the kindness and love in the world. i must have looked like a walking crying disaster, but you still told me that i was the prettiest girl on the beach. it made me happy, really happy, i felt like i was floating on a cloud. i was overwhelmed by the sincerity of your words. then you tenderly dried the tears that ran down my cheeks, brushing them away with your delicate fingertips, before cupping my face to gently caress my cheeks. i felt like i was floating at that precise moment, as i saw your face approach mine. i had this same desire as you, which crackled deep in my belly which was filled with dancing butterflies. the warmth of the summer sun settled in my heart, the rhythm of the waves rocking me to you, at the precise moment when your lips delicately rested on mine. they were as tasty as ice cream, as sweet as whipped cream, as addictive as a coca cola. my hesitant hands quickly found your neck, when you moved away from me after a few seconds of kisses, offering me the warmest and most flamboyant smile possible, the one that made me fall in the heat of a sunset. although it all started badly, you made this evening much more magical than any fireworks. you lightened my heart with your beautiful words and your summer-flavored kisses. i will forever be grateful to you for that. i'm not sure that at this age, you realized the impact of your words towards me. it made me gain confidence in myself, i decided to be myself thanks to you. i felt special, unique and unforgettable that summer.

but contrary to the lifespan of human beings, the seasons only last a while to be able to recharge their batteries and attack a new year in the future. and the time for goodbyes was approaching so fast. i no longer hated the sea, now i hated goodbyes. and that's why i decided to leave like a thief, without saying goodbye to you. i was not ready to leave behind a boy as pure and kind as you, who took care of me like the most precious of diamonds. it was way too hard, and i probably would have ended up in tears (again). that's why i didn't send you any message, and that's why we left the vacation's house very early. i didn't want to reach the end of the summer whining.

i'm really, and sincerely sorry, jacob.

but, i ended up achieving something very important. love is like a solar eclipse : at some point, the glow of the sun disappears behind the moon.

thank you bae joonyoung, for helping me enjoy summer love and its gentle warmth.

and sorry, for breaking your heart by letting our sun disappear.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀with love, y/l/n y/n.

taglist : @morganasandhya @sunghoonsnemo @iridescentplethora @bloom-bloom-pow @sublimedramallama @suzy-rainbow @ruelsbabe @pandahgase @softforqiankun @wooyoung-a @jaekiths @propollis @arepabella @beauchamp-fraser @exulansis-eun @deputyjuyeon @fkwplctmjz @sunfics @fairycob @loonathewurld @sunwoahkim @changminurheart @junjungsunwoo @littleaprilcherryblossom @zvae @from-xero @chareadingpurposes @allyg-onz @i6swoo @changmin-wrlds @99outros @pockyandme @winefaerie @allorysayshi @en-boyz @enhacolor @nyujjan @onlyticket-home @ja4hyvn @yunkiwii @addictedtothesummernights @kurosism @kyutiepeachy @ksunwooqt @heednpy

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sugarcherriess · 2 years

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Helloo so, this is gonna be a weird one...

I unfortunately have a medical condition that basically makes me very fragile and weak to do daily physical tasks; running, jumping, even walking long distances is hard, as well as very bad fatigue.

My ask is,

⚠️ i understand if you won't wanna answer or if it makes you unfcomfy or something by all means ignore this ask -

My ask, how do you think the boyz would hypothetically act around me / be friendly towards me? I would like to think I'd be Jacob's little bubblewrap bean 🤭

What are your thoughts? But by all means I don't wanna make it weird I just always read your blog and get butterflies with your convos with others, I hope this is okay 😥 but by all means I understand if you don't respond

Stay safe and stay healthy !!

PLEASE this ask made me all mushy inside 😩😩😩😩 this is.. long so beware grrr

my friend, not only jacob’s but also younghoon and sangyeon’s. im gonna fit juyeon in there as well because you can not look at this man and tell me that he won’t be us on you like a hawk all the time. all four of the would be doing stuff for you at all times even if you insist that you dont need them to. you get up to get yourself some cereal and sangyeons already walking after you, you hear jacob’s nagging in the distance and then younghoon’s getting the box for you, leaving you with a smooch to the head. don’t be surprised if you find someone ruffling your hair smushing your cheeks together because these four will baby you until you physically can not handle it.

i can clearly see then just tiptoeing behind the line of being overbearing but they’re so cute?/??3?3 who wouldn’t let them fuss over them whether you’re near them or not. what i wouldn’t give for juyeon to hold my hand and walk around the house with me

kevin, haknyeon and chanhee would be the doting kind that no one can compare to. yes im projecting 😍😍 they’d be getting stuff for you but then they’d be teasing you by asking for a payment which can range from a smooch to the cheek or watching a movie with them that you’re not that interested in but a payment is payment 🥲

i can definitely see chanhee and kevin insisting you sit with them at any moment you all gather together, patting the seat next to them and looking at you with the most adorable eyes trying to woo you. meanwhile, haknyeon is pealing an orange for you because whether you eat it or not, you’re sitting with him and its final. but that doesn’t mean nyukev won’t be fixing your spot for you or offering to cuddle you which haknyeon finds offensive because hello? hes right there? a whole manifestation of a teddy bear? how rude

now okay. sunwoo, changmin, eric and hyunjae… these boys… and their hyper asses. why can i literally see 2jae fighting over who gets to give you a piggy back around the house when you get tired? the scene is occurring right in front of my eyes… i can see eric and hyunjae turning it into a muscle competition fighting over who’s stronger meanwhile sunkyu have already whipped you away to watch them practice a tiktok dance or sum as milric annoy eachother into exhaustion 👍🏼

juyeon will also definitely join because we love this big ass baby curious about everything. and slowly the competition keeps gathering members until you’re sitting on the side trying to figure out who you crown the “beef king of the decade” –they came up with the title not me– without breaking the others’ hearts. if you’re suddenly swaddled by a blanket and stolen away, jacob said not to panic its just him trying to save your ears from all the whining when a winner is finally declared

have you seen the clip of changmin cooing at the dog? this is the sound you often hear directed at you bestie. you’re just minding your business recharging on a couch or a bed and suddenly that cooing is all you hear. one of them snakes their limbs around you like a python to “acquire strength through vibe absorption” [you can not tell me they won’t say sum dumb asf like that], and suddenly you have a pile of boys around you using you to refresh their systems

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treasureplcnet · 6 months

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inverness here they come!!!!

#ignoring canon. does everyone know that esther forces her way back into his life even in a world where they don't have to meet #and then they just ditch london and live an oddly quiet life until the end of the war in scotland. they told me that.#more than anything in the world i am always thinking of the incredible force that these two are and how determined they are to survive #please see: esther genuinely trying to shoot him (makes me laugh everytime i see it) and the way karl blends himself into every scenario #not above lying not above running away just trying to get by. 'i treat others the way they treat me'. distrustful by default #and finally the only reason these two stop kicking and clawing is the budding family they accidentally form #AND THEN THE LAST 20 MINUTES OF EP4 HAPPENS.#ep8 gives me a semblance of peace. theyre in inverness to ME.#i do also rly adore their twin rbf. at any given moment they look as though theyre chatting shit (they are)#AND the gun thing is so funny. the gun fails and instead of giving up esther just tries to shoot him again LLOOOLLLL #no thoughts towards the consequences and with no experience with guns as well. she's literally goated #jacob fortune lloyd's interview on this and his thoughts on their relationship also makes me a tiny bit sick so .#anyways. WATCH BODIES #karl weissman #esther jankovsky #bodies netflix #my art #bodies 2023

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daisyvisions · 7 months

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♣️ Kinktober Fest 2023 ♣️

Step Right Up to Daisy's Spectacular Kinktober Show: Where Your Wildest Fantasies Come True! (with special guests: The Boyz)

But be warned, for these imaginations might not be for the faint of heart…

✦ Day 18 - Best friend!Younghoon (sensory deprivation & high sex)

✦ Day 19 - Rival!Changmin (blackmail & face fucking)

✦ Day 21 - Neighbor!Eric (food play & fingering)

✦ Day 22 - Wildcard (CEO! & cuckolding)

✦ Day 23 - Camboy!Haknyeon (squirting & dirty talk)

✦ Day 24 - Husband!Jacob (somnophilia & body worship)

✦ Day 26 - Pervy Best Friend!Sunwoo (corruption & dry humping)

✦ Day 27 - Classmate!Kevin (mutual masturbation & cum play)

✦ Day 29 - Bully!Sangyeon (dumbification & rough sex)

✦ Day 30 - Spoiled Rich Kid!Chanhee (Sex toys & pillow fucking)

✦ Day 31 - Vampire!Juyeon (cockwarming & begging)

✦ Day 32 (Nov.5) - Incubus!Hyunjae (hypnotism & breeding)

✦ Day 33 (Nov.19) - Wildcard (ghost face! & double penetration)

A/N: Very excited to announce my 1st ever kinktober! I will try to write for all of these as much as possible & will update this master list as the days go by! Hope you enjoy!

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hcuyk · 14 days

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OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE

SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae

PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader

GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining

WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS : outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)

WORD COUNT ✧ 19k

⋮≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @deoboyznet @flwoie @sanaxo-o — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!

. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]

⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie @winterchimez — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!

THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION

AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves

PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE

“Genuine question.”

“Shoot.”

“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”

Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center.

“Well, he is your boss.”

“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye.

“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.

“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”

Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support.

Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’

For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.

“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.

“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”

“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”

Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.

“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.

“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”

“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.

“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”

“Well yeah, but the—”

“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”

“That’s just how-”

“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.

“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”

“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.

You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.

You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.

“You.”

Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.

“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”

“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.

As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be.

“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”

“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.

Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.

“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”

Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.

“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”

“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.

“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”

“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.

“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”

“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.

“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.

“You’re not scared of me?”

And you keep falling for the bait.

“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.

Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away.

“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”

“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t call me that–”

“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”

What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.

Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism.

Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.

“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.

“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”

“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.

“Get a room—!”

“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”

“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared.

“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”

“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”

You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).

“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.

“And apparently horny too.”

“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in).

“Hello? I’m still here.”

“Look at that. He already misses me.”

“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.

“Ew.”

“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically.

“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”

“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”

“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”

He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance.

Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.

“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”

You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.

“Now why the hell do you think—”

“Zip it.”

Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.

Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.

“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”

“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.

“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.

The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.

“You can’t be serious.”

Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.

“You’re the one in denial.”

Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.

“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”

Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.

The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.

“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.

“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”

For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.

“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”

Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.

“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”

“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”

“It was a mistake, okay?”

“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.”

Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you.

All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.

“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”

“You’re still with him??”

“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”

And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.

“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”

“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”

“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”

“Again, none of your fucking business–”

“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”

“I am not going to repeat myself-”

“Can’t you just listen to what I-”

“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.

Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.

After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself.

“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”

Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better.

“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”

“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.

“It isn’t right—”

“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”

Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.

You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.

Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.

“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.

When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.

“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”

And with that, you left.

Kevin apologized to you the morning after.

He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.

According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.

Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.

But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain.

It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.

He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council.

Yet it all felt so different.

Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.

You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either.

There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same.

Then you would never have to see him in college.

Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate.

Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.

But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?

From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.

He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.

He knew when to stop.

Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?

“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”

“Huh?”

“Didn’t show up for a single class.”

Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.

“That’s not like him,” he replied.

“Yeah.”

“I wonder why.”

“I wonder too.”

After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.

“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.”

“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.”

You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.

Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.

“Why are you thinking about him?”

That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.

“What?”

“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”

“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”

Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.

“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”

“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.

“Y/N!”

You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.

She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you.

“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”

She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.

“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear.

“Your outfit’s really cute today.”

“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”

“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”

“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”

She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”

The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.

A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.

“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”

“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date.

“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”

You knew it.

Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.

“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?

“So you want me to do it?”

“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”

You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.

Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.

“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”

“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.

“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”

The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt.

“What?”

Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.

“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”

Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.

“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own.

When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.

“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.

There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own.

With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.

The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.

But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?

As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.

Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over.

Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.

You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him.

Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.

Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.

The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels.

“Nice try.”

You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.

Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this.

“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.

Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching.

“What do you mean?”

Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.

“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”

“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were.

Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you.

“What–?”

“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”

“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”

“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.

“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.

Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.

Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.

“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”

“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.

“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”

“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.

Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?

The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him.

As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own.

You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince.

After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.

Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting.

You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.

Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.

You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.

“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.

“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”

“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all.

“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.

And just like that, she continued running off.

You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.

Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.

When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.

Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.

So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.

Of course it was Hyunjae.

You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.

The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was.

You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.

Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice.

“You’re not even halfway yet?”

In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.

“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.

When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.

“What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago.

“You’re taking too long.”

“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.

And Hyunjae was totally judging.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Just go home.”

Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I can do it myself,” you explained.

“What are you even doing?”

“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.

“You’re struggling.”

“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.

“Let me do it.”

Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.

“You’re kidding.”

“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”

“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”

Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.

“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”

“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you.

“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.

“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.

Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.

Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.

“Hyunjae, I swear—”

“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.”

Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up.

You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.

By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.

As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.

Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes.

“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.

Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.

“Hey, baby!”

You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.

“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.

“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.

“Of course I was, baby.”

You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.

But then it fell.

Something felt off.

If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not.

Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.

Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in.

Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity.

All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.

It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different.

Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.

Except for one thing; your fury.

There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other.

Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra.

Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most.

Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.

The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.

It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.

Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low).

So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.

What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.

He wanted to burn.

Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?

He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night.

It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you.

At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him.

But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.

Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.

“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.

“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.

Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic.

With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.

Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night.

After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.

“Hello?”

With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.

“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you.

You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.

There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.

“I need a ride.”

Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.

Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.

He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare.

But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.

After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did.

He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.

“Drink up and find an Uber.”

“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.

“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.

“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"

Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?

But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you.

God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.

For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with.

It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing.

Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.

You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there.

In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.

He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car.

Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.

Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.

While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips.

Where did he even come from?

And why was he so quick to listen?

You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.

You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.

“Drive.”

Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”

The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel.

You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).

After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.

It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.

Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.

“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.

“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”

Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.

Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.

“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him.

You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen.

Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.

There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.

Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.

And your voice broke the silence.

“How long have you known?”

Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty.

His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.

“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”

Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.

Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.

Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.

But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.

“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.

The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner.

His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.

“How does tomorrow sound?”

Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.

At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye.

Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt.

Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil.

Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.

There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw.

It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.

The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.

Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend.

Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.

You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.

“I didn’t mean to.”

Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.

“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.

“I know, Jae.”

Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.

Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—

You laughed.

Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.

“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”

His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation.

“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”

You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?

It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth.

“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”

Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.

“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?

You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?

And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay.

You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.

Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.

Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever.

Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.

“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped.

“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.

Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.

“Please.”

Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better.

“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless.

You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.

“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”

Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround.

But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.

“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.

“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”

Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity.

But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?

Especially when he could have you right here, right now.

“You’re using me.”

Your expression didn’t falter.

“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.

“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”

“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.

“You love me, don’t you?”

His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.

His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.

“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”

There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.

He knew better.

“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan.

He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.

He knew better.

“You’re using me.”

You both knew better.

Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.

“And I say take advantage of it.”

Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.

Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement.

The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.

You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.

When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.

You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more.

After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.

“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over.

“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.

“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity.

Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.

Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.

You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable.

Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could.

Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back.

“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.

“But it’s true, no?”

“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.

You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.

The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.

He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.

You wanted to be his downfall.

Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.

“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”

“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.

And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.

Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all.

But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat.

Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.

He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.

“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?”

Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.

He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.

Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you.

“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”

“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.

“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.

You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.

“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.

But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him.

When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.

“Did I do this?”

His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly.

He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.

“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.

“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”

“A favor is a stretch—”

Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.

“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”

He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you.

Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.

“Jaehyun, please,” you begged.

He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin.

Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.

“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care.

“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”

Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night.

When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you.

“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were.

He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name.

As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust.

“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.”

The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.

Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.

“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”

There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.

And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.

Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion.

“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him.

“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear.

“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side.

“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat.

You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.

“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.

“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?”

You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.

“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.

He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.

“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”

The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.

“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”

You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move.

With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.

“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.

He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises.

“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back.

“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you.

“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.

“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole.

“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.

“Psychotic, just for my princess.”

Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.

“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless.

“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.

“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure.

Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be.

He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.

And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.

He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.

Oh, and there was the recording too.

While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.

“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.

You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.

“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?”

“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time.

Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.

“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”

He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.

“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”

Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.

“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”

Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.

Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.

He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.

“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming.

Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.

“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”

“Mine.”

You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.

Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder.

“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”

He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.

Maybe you were his.

OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]

NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ

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