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#kurumi saiki
mac33cheese · 22 hours
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Kurumi's way of telling saiki to go to sleep is sending him cute good night emojis
It's seems cute but they both know that it's just her way of passive aggressivly telling him "it's 1am go to fucking sleep you have school in the morning."
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audske · 9 months
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little doodle
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i hope no one has done this before
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horrorhot-line · 10 months
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metanoia
(n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self or way of life. 
➵ pairing: saiki kusuo/reader
➵ word count: 12k
➵ genre: fluff with humour here and there
➵ warnings: none
➵ summary: for the life of you, you couldn’t understand why your peaceful life had been turned upside down. no matter what you did, you always found yourself dragged into saiki’s problems. worst of all? at first you wanted nothing to do with him, and slowly, without even realising it, you didn’t mind being around him as much. 
➵ masterlist  (requests are open)
➵ previous part - serendipity
I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING POSTED BY ANYONE ELSE ON ANY PLATFORM
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before you read:
‘saiki telepathically communicating with reader.’
‘reader thinking or interacting with saiki through thoughts.’
“saiki talking without moving his mouth.”
“saiki talking using his mouth.”
notes: i know you guys were looking forward to him but i kid you not i can’t seem to get it right. ever heard of writers block? think writer’s boulder. anywho, it was either i worked on other pieces on the side like this on or stop updating for a year like i did last time. so enjoy this, and i promise i’ll get ‘for him’ out as soon as possible. this oneshot is based on s1 ep3. thank you for waitingggg!
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It all started when you ran into Saiki at the park. He just happened to be there because your paths intertwined on the way home from school. You had taken a different route on purpose to avoid getting involved with the man, only to find yourself in the same crowd as him, watching a magic show.
You had decided from your first encounter with Saiki that you would do everything in your power to keep your distance, especially after you found out he was the most powerful psychic in the world. You had promised not to tell anyone his secret and made sure not to be caught near him, yet it happened anyway.
Truth be told, you were terrified of him. You didn't have enough fingers to count the times you noticed him in your peripherals, following you to make sure you held up your end of the bargain and didn't tell anyone of his powers.
"Who's ready for another très bien trick by me? Master illusionist Uryoko Chono!" The magician performing the show asked, and you moved swiftly to the side so confetti wouldn't land in your hair. You didn't have the time to stand idly by and watch- you needed to be home for the new soap opera that would launch that day!
That, and you didn't want to get caught in any situation that involved a particular psychic. You had decided to do a U-turn when you saw Saiki's pink hair in the crowd until the magician addressed you.
"Hey, student! Why don't you stay and join the fun? You too, pink hair! I'll do a trick to put a smile on those faces!" Chono exclaimed, leaning on the table before him and putting a hand out to stop the two of you. There was little chance of that happening; you were sure Saiki didn't even know how to stretch the corners of his mouth.
You sighed, turning on your heel to come face to face with the crowd of people staring at you expectantly. Great! Now you had to stay. It seemed like Saiki felt the same way, shooting a side glance your way before staring at the green-haired magician.
You deadpanned at the magician. "Oh! I see you're a sceptic." No, that wasn't it. It was more of the fact that you could think of a million other things that could use your attention, and this magic show wasn't one of them. "Well, once you see my show, you will become a believer in my powers to amaze." You could only purse your lips at the statement; you weren't buying it.
All magicians were hacks and used the ability of misdirection to achieve their illusions. That, and after finding out about Saiki and how vast his powers were, nothing this man had to offer would phase you. Yet, you watched anyway because walking away would be too awkward.
Saiki walked towards the crowd, joining it at your side. How had this caught his attention, you wondered. Did the magician really have supernatural powers? 'No, I'm watching, so he leaves me alone.' Saiki had yet to think something at you in weeks, and when he did, you nearly jumped out of your skin.
You were sure you'd never get used to his voice echoing inside your brain. At least he had cleared up your misunderstanding, you thought to yourself before moving away slightly, so the boy wasn't too close to you. From where you stood before, you could practically feel his body heat.
The magician pulled out a box with a cartoon-like shooting star on it. "Right. I hold here an ordinary cardboard box." Chono stated, holding it up for the crowd to see. 'Nope, there's nothing ordinary about it.' Saiki thought at you, his expression dead, as always. You still couldn't understand why Saiki was talking to you. You replied back, anyway, 'What do you mean by that?'
"As you can see, it's empty inside." The magician tilted the box, opening it so you could see, and he was right. 'At that angle, you can't tell there's a partition.' So that's how performers did it; you always wondered how they accomplished tricks like that. You were right- this guy was a hack.
"But, watch! Just a couple taps and it's party time." Chono said as he tapped his cane on the box before opening it, only for birds to shoot out and fly away into the distance. "Aren't they amazing, folks?"
The crowd cheered and clapped for the magician, not knowing what you and Saiki did. "Hey there kids! Très bien, am I right?" The magician asked as he pointed a finger at the both of you. Not to you, they weren't, but the trick probably would have garnered your praise if it wasn't for Saiki telling you how the box worked.
'It's not très bien. If anything, I'm worried about that dove.' Saiki remarked, and you turned to look at him questioningly. 'What dove?' You inquired, confused as to what he meant. 'He has a dove under that hat, but I think he forgot about it.' You examined the magician's maroon hat, guessing Saiki could see through it with his x-ray vision.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, please turn your attention here for the main event of our show, my super illusion!" Where had Chono pulled out those massive boxes from? His hat, you mused, chuckling quietly to yourself, stopping only when you noticed Saiki shoot a look of dismay your way. "Magically teleporting from one box to another will be lovely assistant, Michael."
Chono snapped his fingers before looking to his right, and you followed his line of sight only to see an old man with a straw hat on his unruly grey hair. 'Lovely is a stretch.' You grimaced, were those flies buzzing around him, and what was that foul odour he was emanating? You had to agree with Saiki on that one, 'I don't think you can class him as lovely.'
"The beautiful Michael is entering the box." The assistant was definitely not beautiful, either. Maybe Chono was blind? Now if that were true- it might’ve gotten a clap out of you. The magician narrated as you watched the old man get in before he shut the lid behind him. Chono snapped his fingers again, "And, drum roll." He said before doing some weird dance and making sound effects with his mouth to raise the level of excitement. You were expecting to be amazed. 'This is so sad.'
You nodded at Saiki's thought, 'It's almost painful to watch.' This had better be worth it; you did not waste 20 minutes of the airing of the new soap just to be disappointed. The crowd murmured in anticipation. 'What expression am I supposed to be making right now?'
Even you couldn't tell Saiki the answer to that, 'A smile maybe?' You mused, only for him to shoot a glare at you. Chono released the ball of confetti in his hand, and you watched as it fell to the ground. 'His overconfidence makes me cringe.' Your face scrunched at the scene; the whole thing was becoming near unbearable. 'You and me both.'
'And I'm still worried about that dove. Does that hat have air holes?' From what you could tell, no, it didn't. At least Saiki cared about the well-being of animals. 'I'm not. I just don't wanna be around to see a bird die.' You rolled your eyes as you folded your arms over your chest. Of course, he was the type to deny it. God forbid he actually had the ability to express concern for something.
"Alright, let's open the box!" Chono said as he walked over to the other box, putting his hand on top. 'Uh oh, lovely Mike isn't done teleporting yet.' You were beyond confused, turning to Saiki, who was still facing the stage. 'He's under the table.' Your eyebrows unfurrowed as realisation washed over you. That made sense, so the trick was to use the table to go to and from the box.
You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, dreading what was to come. "3, 2, 1... It's party time!" Chono exclaimed, a huge grin on his face, and Michael came out alright, just not from the box. He emerged from underneath the table and raised his hands as if he had completed a feat. Chono stood with his back to Michael, his hand gesturing at the empty box.
A comical sweat bead formed on your forehead, and you cringed internally. You bit your fist as if that would help ease how uncomfortable you felt. Was it too late to make a run for it?
The crowd was deathly silent, and it was no wonder why. 'Now I really don't know what expression to make, maybe this one?' Saiki remarked as he observed the magician. You watched as Chono's expression fell, becoming a hideous grimace. 'Yeah, that seems appropriate', Saiki confirmed, and you were glad his unintentional comedy saved you from the awkwardness.
The crowd dispersed shortly after that, and you stayed behind with Saiki to witness the aftermath.
"Why should I pay you for ruining the illusion?!" Chono exclaimed at Michael, who only retorted. "I moved at the normal speed- it was your darn pattern that got too fast. Now, you hand over that 500 yen." The assistant put his hand out, expecting his payment.
"No one tipped me for this performance, so I couldn't pay you even if I wanted to," Chono stated before he noticed yours and Saiki's presence. "Hey, why are you two hanging around?" The magician said as he turned his back to Michael. Saiki wordlessly raised his finger to his head and bent it repeatedly.
"What, oh, you wanna give me a tip? Haha, I could never take money from a kid. The look of joy on your face-" Chono cut himself off when he looked down at the hat he took off his head. "-PICO!" That poor bird, you couldn't help but think.
"I completely forgot she was up there," Chono said, now sitting down as he stroked the dove. So that's why Saiki chose to linger even after the show had ended- he was worried about the bird. 'How can you forget there's a dove on your head?' Saiki stood at Chono's side as he looked down at the white creature.
You questioned the same thing- surely the animal had rustled and moved around up there. "So, you weren't trying to tip me; you were trying to remind me. Wait- does that mean... That you're a magician? That's how you knew she was up there." Saiki clenched his fist, a frown forming on his face. No, he was an esper. 'I should've kept walking.' Saiki lamented.
"With instincts that good, you must have hated my show." At least the green-haired man was right about one thing, Saiki had, in fact, hated his show, but he only had his powers to blame for that. "Maybe, I'm not cut out for the magician game after all." Cue the sad music in the background- where did the sound even come from? Was there a hidden speaker somewhere in the park?
You were sure the universe had some sort of playlist, like a version of a 90s tv show's laughing track, the one that went off at the right moments. "Until a few months ago, I was your average office drone," Chono told the two of you, bowing his head as he sat on the park bench. Hold it. You did not agree to listen to whatever existential crisis he had going on. "Then, I made a small mistake."
Of course, you'd have to hear his sob story anyway. 'Oh, boy.' You sighed, waiting for the magician to get it all off his chest. "Corporate fat cats laid me off. Then, my wife skipped town." Damn, homeboy was really going through it, alright. 'Is it too late to walk away?' Saiki questioned no one in particular, but you answered anyway. 'It is.'
"With no job, I couldn't pay the mortgage anymore. One little mistake and my career, wife and home had all disappeared- and then it dawned on me, I should become an illusionist." That was heart breaking and all, but you had to wonder where he was going with this story. “Wait- what?” Was it you, or was Saiki's voice hot- No! Now was not the time for this!
"Because so many things had vanished from my life, I thought it must mean that disappearing them was my talent!" You nearly choked on your spit. Well that took a turn. The plot twist nearly gave you whip lash. Oh, dear. This poor man... somebody help slap some sense into him. “Your only talent is self-delusion,” Saiki was right- the man needed a reality check.
"So, even though I had been offered another office job, I turned it down to start my new life doing street magic." At least Chono looked pumped about it all. “Again, what?” You were just as bewildered as Saiki was, questioning the green-haired man's logic. "If I can save up 1 million yen, I can buy the sawing a body in half trick- then, my wife is sure to come back!"
You shook your head in disappointment; the man had lost the plot. “Don't be so sure.” Why would his wife come back if he did that? And how did Chono plan on raising that kind of cash when he had just lost his assistant? "But then I wonder if I chose the wrong path."
At least the magician was finally seeing clarity and the error of his ways. 'Yes, yes you did.' Saiki thought bluntly, and you agreed mentally. 'He needs to quit street magic and get a real job.' You thought back. "Sorry, didn't mean to get so gloomy." Chono apologised, looking up at the two of you.
'What'll it take for him to give up?' You pondered at Saiki's question, bringing your hand up to your chin to think. Maybe showing him an impossible illusion? "Let's get back to your background as an illusionist and how you knew I had a dove up there." Chono gestured at his hat and you watched realisation dawn on Saiki. Over what, you had no idea. 'That's it.'
You observed as Saiki wordlessly walked to stand directly parallel to Chono and you, pulling his school bag off his shoulders to hold it in front of him. "Whoa! Gonna pull something out of your bag?" Chono commented as you watched on. Saiki held up his other hand as his eyes widened. You raised an eyebrow; this was the most expressive he had ever been.
'I'll do a trick so beyond his ability, he'll realise how far gone he is and give up.' So that's why... Saiki had taken your advice.
"You're gonna pull out... a dove!" Chono guessed before stating he could pull out bowling balls himself. 'Hmph.' Saiki's stoic expression remained, and your eyes widened when he pulled out the hand that was rummaging inside his bag. Nothing could have prepared you for what the psychic did.
He pulled out Michael by the hat on his head, though the man looked like a scrunched-up piece of paper. Saiki placed the old man on the floor, and you watched Chono's eyes bulge from his socket as he gasped. Surely, that would be enough to get the aspiring magician to stop his foolish ways.
"That's impossible!" Chono exclaimed as he fell to his knees, his jaw still slacking. 'Aren't you supposed to say très bien? At least this will make him give up.' Saiki stated as he walked away and turned his back to Chono. You tried not to stare at Saiki's ass- but failed.
"Thank you. Now I can see. If your talent was hair, it'd be a flowing mane, while mine is just an eyelash." You stifled a laugh at the example Chono stated. 'I don't quite understand using hair for that metaphor, but at least he's finally-' Saiki didn't get to finish that thought when he turned his head; Chono had already left your side to kneel behind the psychic.
"Make me your apprentice." The scene reminded you of One punch man, where Genos asked Saitama to make him a disciple. 'Should've seen it coming.' You only gazed over Saiki's shoulder to watch Michael hold up a 500 yen coin, talking about how he was going to eat a hot cup of soup.
Maybe sticking around and missing the airing of that soap opera was worth it- this was far more entertaining.
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Saiki may have walked the same way home as you, but his house came before yours. After the whole fiasco with the magician happened, and you realised your goal of not bumping into said psychic had failed, you chose not to take a detour, but walk with the pink-haired man instead.
No point wasting more time, you had reasoned. Your original plan to go home in hopes of catching the last few minutes of the tv show you wanted to watch was a bust because when you neared the Saiki household, you noticed Mrs Saiki stood outside the house in the front yard trimming bushes with gardening scissors.
Before you had a chance to make your getaway after greeting her, she exclaimed that it was far too late in the afternoon to walk home without eating, and even though you found her caring demeanour sweet, you weren't grateful for the sentiment when it meant being near Saiki.
Sure he hadn't done anything, but the boy did threaten to smite you off this earth the last time you were in his house. Could anyone really blame you for wanting to keep your distance? Try as you might, though, you couldn't say no to the lovely woman who was Saiki's mother. Her smile threatened to blind you, and you didn't want to make her upset by refusing.
Dinner with the Saikis was eventful, to say the least. 
Mrs Saiki had ushered you inside quickly, but her son hadn't followed the two of you in. You didn't question it when she locked the front door. When he did step into the kitchen minutes later, he was followed by his dad. Mr Saiki didn't say anything to you- instead, he rushed over to his wife. "I can't believe you changed the locks on me again!" He complained, and you felt in that moment that you chose the wrong day to come over.
Were they having marital issues? You swore that the last time you were here they were getting along just fine. What had happened? "I hope you're hungry Ku-Ku. I'm making you breaded pork chops for dinner!" Mrs Saiki chose to ignore her husband, talking to her son instead as if the angry man behind her didn't exist.
"Hang on, now you're choosing to ignore me? Besides, I told you I wanted to have steak tonight!" Mr Saiki pointed his finger at his wife before raising his arm up and down as if he was throwing a tantrum - which he was. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot- but I can boil you a leather shoe." Mrs Saiki replied in a sickly sweet tone, turning back to her cooking. "I don't want a shoe, leather or not!"
You wanted to laugh but thought it wasn't the right time; you chose to snicker to yourself quietly. 'I wonder when it went wrong for them. they used to be so passionate.' You watched on as Mr Saiki claimed his hate for his wife was as wide and deep as the pacific ocean, and she retorted by saying she hated him like a fish hated air. Why did you have to be caught in the middle of this?
'Well, they're still passionate now, but it's a little different.' 
When the food was ready, you sat down next to Saiki, staying silent as you dug into the rice with your chopsticks. "Gorge yourself,  guys- I made a ton!" Mrs Saiki said with a smile on her face. "Hey, hey, hey! Hey!" Mr Saiki stood up from his seat at the dining table, slapping his hand on the surface like an angry restaurant customer. 
You couldn't blame the guy, you and Saiki had gotten pork chops for dinner, but Mr Saiki had received a leather shoe garnished with gravy on top, filled with rice and had chopsticks placed inside it. "Is it good, Ku? Y/n- Oh, honey, would you like something else?" Mrs Saiki gave a closed-eyed grin to her husband, who stood in front of her. "No, because I bet it's just the other shoe."
"Bon Appetit!" Saiki's dad had guessed right, it was another shoe, but it was a blue sneaker. "That's not even from the same pair!" You watched steam flow out of the shoe, wondering how this situation was real. You felt like you had been sucked into some comedy show. 'They've been going at each other for a year.' Your eyebrows shot up at Saiki's revelation, watching on as the couple argued.
Mr Saiki gave up on trying to get his partner to be civil, turning to the psychic with the cooked leather shoe in his hand. "Hey, Kusuo- use your powers to turn this old shoe into a steak for daddy." Saiki's thoughts flooded into your brain, stopping you from hearing his dad's rambling. 
'So, in case you forgot, this pathetic dude's my dad, Kuniharu Saiki. He's lazy and irresponsible- and asks for help with everything in his life. But surprise, surprise, the more I help, the more useless he gets. So, lately, I've stopped doing him any favours.' Wow, Saiki sure was cold, dissing his father like it was nothing.
'I already know all that- Who are you talking to?'
'The audience.'
'Stop breaking the fourth wall, please.'
You observed as Mr Saiki stopped rambling as he realised his son wasn't going to listen to him. "What?! How dare you take your mother's side in this?! Do you have any idea how many shoes I have to lick each day to buy that food you're eating now?!!" Mr Saiki shouted, and you watched as Saiki continued to eat his food quietly with no change in his expression. 
"So, you do like to eat shoes?"
You guessed that much was enough for his father to realise his son wasn't going to lift a finger to help. Mr Saiki gave in, "Alright, I'll eat it-" He shovelled the rice into his mouth when he picked up the plate only to shoot up out of his seat seconds later, "-It stinks! What did you do to this shoe?! Are you trying to poison your father?!" Mr Saiki exclaimed at his son. 
"I'm pretty sure that's how they always smell, dummy," Saiki commented, still eating his rice. You watched as Mrs Saiki addressed her son when he put his bowl down, a shining bright aura around her. Where did that bright light come from? "Hey, Ku? Now, just remember what I've always said. Please don't use your powers for evil."
'This is my mom, Kurumi Saiki.' Mrs Saiki clasped her hand around her son's, "You must only use your powers to help those in need. Or those people who you're certain are genuinely nice-"
'She's a big reason why I haven't let my gifts turn me to the dark side.'
'Is that a star wars reference?'
Saiki ignored your question- continuing his not-so-inner monologue, 'She's a caring soul- well, to me.' You were taken aback when the sweet air around Mrs Saiki changed to something dimmer. "-But, feel free to use your powers to hurt daddy." This whole situation was getting more and more preposterous. 'She kinda has a dark side herself.' You could see that.
Mrs Saiki seemed to notice her husband scoffing down Saiki's food when she was distracted around the same time you did, and you watched her expression shift from a smile to a cold glare after she slowly turned. "Stop eating Kusuo's dinner, you thieving son of bitch!" Mrs Saiki looked extremely pissed off, a tick mark appearing on her face. Hang on, she knew how to swear?!
You felt sorry for Mr Saiki, but there was no way you'd get involved, you didn't want his wife to aim her anger at you instead. "That's it! We're taking this outside!" She shouted, and you had to admit the situation was getting interesting. Who would win? 'In truth, I could break up this fight whenever I feel like it, but this is something they're going to have to work out themselves.'
Did he think things at you on purpose even though he could just not talk to you? You didn't want to admit it, but the idea made something inside you churn. Were the two of you closer than you realised?
You watched Saiki's attention shift from the brawl to the dessert that was placed near him. 'Hm? Coffee-flavoured jelly? Hmm, doesn't taste bad- earthy with a slightly citrus finish. Don't let the name fool you- this jelly is a mature dignified treat.'
You couldn't pay attention to Saiki fangirling over the dessert, too busy watching Mrs Saiki handle her husband like she was some WWE fighter and he was her opponent. She put him in all types of chokeholds before raising him over her head, preparing to throw him. Was now a good time to take your chance and sneak away?
'Better still, when you add just a splash of whole milk, it becomes an entirely new flavoured sensation,' Saiki continued to eat the coffee jelly, turning away from his parents to take another bite, '-and that hint of decadence is everything I ask for in my dessert.' You realised that was the first time you had seen Saiki smile. It suited him.
Saiki didn't get to eat any more of his treat, because when he raised his hand up to his mouth to consume another spoonful, Mrs Saiki launched her husband and he crashed into his son, which forced the spoon out of the pink-haired boy's hand. You watched the jelly fall from the psychic's hand in slow motion until you saw a flash of pink. 
Saiki had managed to catch the dessert in his mouth before it fell to the floor. He was now on the floor and you couldn't help but think about what you had done for the universe to force you to stay at the Saiki household during the whole fiasco. 
"You wanted to eat jelly that bad?" Mr Saiki had gotten up, whereas Saiki was still on his stomach on the floor, chewing what was in his mouth. "Forget the jelly- We got bigger problems! Your mothers turned into a monster!" Your eyes travelled to where Mr Saiki was pointing, thinking he was exaggerating.
He wasn't, Mrs Saiki's face had transformed into what looked like a Japanese Onii mask from folklore. "Stop running from me, you coward." Even her voice had changed as if she had been possessed. Oh, dear. "You've got to stop her! You're my only hope to stop her reign of terror. Do it! Slay the demon!" You wanted to run your hands down your face in exasperation, but you couldn't bring yourself to look away.
Mrs Saiki let out a demonic laugh as she grabbed onto the dining table. "You're not leaving 'til I say so!" She exclaimed before she raised the furniture above her head to throw it at her husband- how had the food not slid off? You wanted to leave but didn't want to incur Mrs Saiki's wrath. Mr Saiki tried to shield himself by bringing his arms up to cover his face as he closed his eyes. "Ahhh! Oh god! Ah- Huh?" 
When he opened his eyes, Mr Saiki realised the table was floating above his head, all thanks to Saiki using his psychokinesis. "Hey, Kusuo!" Saiki's father went from shocked to smug, smirking as he realised he had been saved. 'I've got the weirdest parents, I don't really care about stopping another pointless fight, but I can't help myself.' At least Saiki had stepped in, lest the house gets trashed and you get dragged into the war. 
"So now you're on your dad's side? I even made you pork chops!" Mrs Saiki's face was finally back to normal, and you let out a sigh of relief. You were still confused by Saiki's comment. 'Why do I say it's pointless? Just wait.' 
"I want nothing to do with either of you again!" When Mrs Saiki's voice flooded into your brain, you nearly jumped. 'That's a lie. Truth is, I love them!' Your head whipped to look at Saiki's back, guessing he must have used forced telepathy on you. At least he had helped clear your confusion.
You couldn't help but wonder why she was lying, why she wasn't honest about her true feelings. What was the point of this fight again? 'No matter how hard they try, the voices in their hearts always bubble up. In other words, all these fights they have- are a sham.' 
Your brain hurt- because trying to wrap your head around why the couple was acting like they despised each other when they didn't was nothing short of difficult. You rubbed at your temples, Saiki using another power you weren't used to had gotten to you. When Mr Saiki claimed he hated his wife and son, his inner thoughts told you he just wanted to snuggle.
They fought on the surface, but their voices in your head told you that they were just complimenting each other internally. 'Like I said, another pointless fight. There is one person here who has real reason to be upset, me-'
'Don't forget me. I didn't ask to be dragged into this.' 
'-Those weirdos interrupted my dessert. I guess only a psychic can fix this.'
Mr and Mrs Saiki stopped arguing when they started saying they loved each other telepathically. You watched in amusement as they started blushing, getting confused why they could hear each other. Realisation dawned on them as they turned to their son, "Kusuo!" They both exclaimed.
'Forced shared telepathy. I used my psychic powers to link their minds at the neural level. In other words, thanks to me, they can now hear each other's thoughts.' You were somewhat grateful he explained to you how you could hear what his parents were thinking. 
Mr and Mrs Saiki told their son to stop his powers because they didn't want the other to realise they were still in love. What a disaster. At least the fighting had stopped. You watched the psychic's parents go from being embarrassed to pronouncing their adoration for each other. 
With a hand on his wife's waist, Mr Saiki declared that he loved her, and she did the same. Where had the flowers surrounding them come from? 'Cool. The end.' Saiki deadpanned.
'It's finally over.'
While his parents apologised to each other profusely, the pink-haired boy took a seat at the dining table to finish his dessert. You sat across from him, relieved that the war in his living room had passed. 'What a pain. Normal people are complicated. At least now I can finish my dessert in peace.' This time around, when Saiki smiled, you had the chance to properly observe it.
He looked handsome, you had to admit. You knew the boy was attractive but he looked 100x better when he was showing normal emotions. It was over a sweet dish- but still! Did Saiki have a sweet tooth? Would he smile again if you got him something from the bakery? You shook your head, choosing to find interest in the furniture around the psychic's house.
You didn't know how to feel when you found out that the fight started when Mrs Saiki ate her husband's coffee jelly. All of that was because of some dish? This was ridiculous. You watched Saiki's expression fall when Saiki's mom twirled over to her son and snatched the coffee jelly the psychic was eating right out of his hand so she could present it to Mr Saiki.
You watched Saiki's small smile fall, replaced by a dark expression as he stared at his hand where his snack used to be. Oh, no... You ignored the boy's father claiming the dessert was a mature dignified treat, rummaging through your school bag to find what you needed.
The rumbling of the windows in the Saiki household stopped when you placed the bag on the floor beside your seat and used your hand to slide the coffee jelly you fished out onto Saiki's side of the table. It took the psychic a moment to realise what was in front of him, and you smiled.
What could you say? The guy looked cute when he was confused. Due to how powerful he was, you sometimes forgot that the boy was human. After a beat, he made eye contact with you and you swore you saw his eyes sparkle. Your smile dropped in slight shock, your lips parting.
'Coffee jelly?'
You gulped, catching your bearings. 
'Yeah, I forgot to eat it at lunch- you can have it, Kusuo.'
When you called him by his first name without thinking, you thought he'd complain. Instead, Saiki grabbed the treat and gingerly peeled back the seal before digging in, a soft smile gracing his face again. You ignored the weird feeling that washed over your heart. 
Maybe the psychic wasn't all that bad.
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When night fell, you headed up to Saiki's room. The psychic knew of your inner turmoil of not being able to catch the show you wanted to watch and said his mom had most likely recorded the pilot episode before you two had reached his house. 'I'm only doing this because I don't want to owe you for that coffee jelly,' is what he had said.
Grabbing the cassette from his living room, Saiki walked past you up the stairs. When you stood there in confusion, he turned around to tilt his head in the direction of his bedroom as if telling you to follow him.
'Hurry up. Before I change my mind.'
That is how you found yourself seated on Saiki's bed, with him sitting in the chair he had pulled from his desk- so it was right in front of the television.
He had left the room earlier to change into more suitable clothes, a sweatshirt with brown pants. You had to admit even though he didn't have an eye for colour coordination, he still managed to pull it off.
Truth be told, you were disappointed. The show didn't live up to the promotions you had seen all over social media. You were expecting a love story starring Mikoto Teruhashi. Was it you or was that name familiar? What you got was some twisted joke of a romance.
The female lead's family died in a car crash, she got cheated on, and she got married to a stranger only to find out that her boyfriend didn't sleep with another woman; she had walked in on his long-lost twin brother instead. All in one episode.
You felt like you had whiplash with all those plot twists. What a let down. You sighed, shifting on Saiki's bed when you felt pins and needles assault your thighs. You chose to cross your legs, yawning into your hand. Was now a good time to go home?
"Is binge-watching shows your favourite pastime?" You asked, trying to make conversation in between the infomercials. "I like watching tv. It's one of the few things that can surprise me. Because I can't hear the actor's thoughts, I don't know what's coming next." The psychic replied.
"Makes sense." You shrugged, not really knowing what to say next. "Speaking of next, that new mystery show's supposed to start soon." Saiki sat with one leg on his chair, his arm resting on his knee for support. When he used his index finger to change the channel, you nearly lost your mind.
Oh, yeah- he's a psychic, of course, he can do that, you thought to yourself, ignoring the fact that your brain had decided to short-circuit on you. "Tonight, you will witness a miracle!" You heard the narrator on the tv show talk, but his words didn't quite reach you.
No way... that man in the distance looked way too familiar for your liking. It couldn't be. "What." Saiki mirrored your shock, his eyes widening. "A stupendous amazing illusion performed by the former homeless man turned master magician, Uryoko Chono!" The narrator on tv continued.
"Now that's Très Bien!" Chono said through the screen, and you watched Saiki's face deadpan. "What did I tell you about tv surprising me?" You didn't have a witty reply for him this time, too shocked at the fact that the magician from that afternoon had managed to get his own segment on live tv- hours after you met him.
Was that even possible? "After losing it all, he became a street magician and mastered tricks that others can only dream of!" The narrator came into view- a mic in his hand, as he praised the green-haired man beside him. You brought a hand up to your forehead in incredulousness.
"But this isn't just a surprise; it's unbelievable. How is a man who almost killed his dove, good enough to be on tv?" Even you didn't know the answer to that. You watched as Saiki stared at the screen, gobsmacked. "You might wanna close your mouth- flies will get in. Never mind that, we just saw him before. How's he gotten on tv so soon?"
"Blame the author; it's for plot convenience." You exhaled in exasperation, a new headache forming in your skull. "There you go, breaking the fourth wall again." You commented, shaking your head as you tutted at him. "What I'm attempting tonight is the most dangerous escape you'll ever see!" Chono's voice coming from the tv filled the room.
Your face slowly lost its colour as they showed snippets of what was to come. A box, chains, then knives, followed by a drop, fire and- was that a bulldozer?! You were sure of it now; the green-haired magician was toast. "No way he's this good." Saiki had taken your advice and shut his mouth; it was no longer hanging open. "He's a goner."
"But live or not, they'd never put someone on tv that might get hurt, right?" You shook your head to yourself; they would- they had. "Don't be too sure. If he dies, the show's view count will skyrocket." The camera panned to the magician in question. "As you can see, folks, Chono's hands and feet are both shackled. As he makes his way to the crate- Oh no, he fell!" You observed as Chono faceplanted and kissed the floor. Was this second-hand embarrassment you felt? "Just a trip; he should be fine."
"He's safely inside the box. And now, Mr Micheal- Chono's formerly homeless assistant- will lock him in." You could only watch in horror as realisation dawned over the magician's face, and he exclaimed to wait- that he wasn't ready. You didn't like where this was going. From the tricks you had seen that afternoon, you highly doubted that the green-haired man could pull this off. He wasn't going to make it.
"Him screaming isn't a good sign. Neither is all that banging he's doing." Saiki's face lost its colour. "No shit, Sherlock." The psychic only glared at you, and you were too busy watching the tv while biting your fist to notice. The narrator told the audience that Chono only had 5 minutes to escape or the box would be destroyed with him in it. The camera cut to a shot of the timer counting down.
"I'm sceptical he can do this." So were you. There was only 3 minutes left. "Should I help? I don't even think I can. I'm not close enough to jump in and save him without being seen." You were on the edge of your seat. Two minutes left. "Then again, if he fails, he dies, and I can't have that happen."  You imagined what was to come, the tv announcing that Chono was burning alive inside the crate.
"It would ruin my night." You swore the psychic was just talking to himself at that point. At least Saiki cared; the boy did have a heart, after all. The pink-haired boy stood up from where he was sitting on the chair. "If he fails, the footage would cut into my mystery show-" You took your statement back; he was heartless. "Is there a way to teleport in without getting on tv? Yes. The one place the camera can't find me- inside the box itself."
With that, Saiki was gone. He vanished into thin air, and you guessed he was now inside the box. All alone in the room, the only thing you could do was keep your eyes glued to the screen, waiting with bated breath. 'Kusuo?' You hoped he could hear you over everyone else's thoughts, hoped he was within range. He did, and he was.
'He's not here.'
You breathed a sigh of relief at hearing his voice reverberate in your head. Then, his words hit you.
'What do you mean he's not there?!'
'He really has gotten better. The banging was coming from a CD player.'
So Chono hadn't even been inside the box when they chained it up? Why wasn't Saiki back then? There was no point in him staying there. The 5-minute timer was up, and you watched Michael come into view, struggling to hold the swords he was about to pierce the crate with.
'Hurry, Kusuo- you need to come back.' You said, hoping he didn't hear the genuine concern and worry that filled your voice.
'I can't. I have to think fast; I can't just teleport back out. That power needs to be recharged for 3 minutes before I can use it again.'
You watched as the magician's assistant started to put the swords in one by one. 'Oh, crap.' 17 more to go.
'You there?'
How did Saiki plan on surviving this one? You couldn't help but stress.
'Yeah. No one could- except me. I dislocated almost every joint in my body.'
Dread pooled inside your stomach at his words.
'Are you okay?!'
'I'm not gonna lie- it hurts.'
You wracked your brain to try and find a way to help him, coming up empty. Sure, you wanted nothing to do with him, but you weren't comfortable knowing he was in pain. Why? You had no idea. You chose to blame it on common human decency but the feeling of your heart sinking suggested otherwise.
You watched as the tv crew hooked a line to the crate before it was announced that a crane would lift it and drop it 30 metres. You raised your hands to cover your face, moving your fingers so you could peer at the screen. 'The only way to avoid certain death... is...' You watched the crate collide with the floor, the bottom of it crumpling from the impact. '...To jump. Flawless timing.'
You stopped tensing, visibly relaxing, when you heard Saiki again. He had managed to save himself again. After the dust from the crash settled, the narrator on tv announced that the box would be set on fire. You furrowed your eyebrows- did they really need to go that far?
'Didn't even get a chance to catch my breath. At least with all the hot weather lately, I've been able to hone my psychic powers over temperature.' You really didn't know how to feel when the support crew lit a match and set the box alight. A steam roller came into view, and you watched on in horror.
'There's more?'
The pink-haired boy hadn't passed his 3-minute limitation over teleportation, so how on earth would he get out in time? Wait- how had the crew managed to do so much damage in that window of time? You knew what they would do; they planned to run over the box and flatten it completely, with Saiki still inside.
You watched the stream roller drive over the box, effectively crushing it under its wheels. You watched in silence, your heart practically beating out of your chest in worry. The narrator asked the audience how anyone could survive inside the box until lights turned on behind him, showcasing Chono.
"Hold on, who is that I see? It's the miraculous illusionist himself, Uryoko Chono! He's alive!" The crowd went wild, applauding and screaming at the trick. You could care less! Where was Saiki?! Was he okay?!!
'How annoying. His wasn't the only great escape, but I got lucky. The soil was extra soft.'
'...Did you dig a hole like some groundhog?'
You were just happy he was safe. God forbid you had to live with the fact that Saiki died and you had witnessed it. Then again, he was an all-powerful psychic- what did you expect? Of course, he'd make it out alive.
'I know. I said I liked tv because it can still surprise me- but this is too much.' Saiki was right; the amount of turmoil that today involved was not something you had mentally prepared yourself to handle. Exhaustion took over you, and you let yourself fall back onto Saiki's bed.
Was Saiki's life always like this? Downright disastrous to the point where it was funny? "Tres Bien, right?" Chono exclaimed when the narrator stated that the escape was great. You exhaled, placing your hands on your stomach and trying to relax.
"Hey, stick around for what's next-" Your head shot up, recognising the voice from the countless trailers you had seen for months plastered every time you opened up an app. It was the male lead of the new mystery show everyone was looking forward to.
Your mind worked at a million miles per hour, and you were sure there were drawings of algebra floating around you. Saiki was a psychic, and if he was near the new show's star, he'd no doubt hear spoilers from the actor.
'Kusuo, come back.'
'I can't; I still have 13 seconds to go.'
Great. The show he was looking forward to, the very reason he went to save Chono, was going to be spoilt because he chose to be a good human being. All because the lead actor was around, and of course, the guy knew what was to come- he had just finished filming it, after all.
You made a decision, one you knew you'd regret. Concentrating on getting your breathing under absolute control, you forced your mind to go blank. Then you imagined Saiki at the park he had transported to so he could save a certain magician.
You clenched your jaw. Saiki wasn't too far away, and if you used your immunity on him, it'd work, right? You reached out your hand in your mind, and when it came into contact with his shoulder, you saw what you were looking for.
Thin white strings, hundreds of thousands of them, that shot off in all different directions and disappeared into the distance when your eyes followed them. You had no doubt they were the strings that connected Saiki's mind to anyone in a 200-metre radius.
With your hand still on Saiki, you imagined the actor who starred in the show's premiere, the love interest. That's when you found the thin line connecting the two.
"The world premiere of a mystery called, 'Love Fantasy.' My character will try to uncover the mystery of his girlfriend's death." You ignored the faint voice of the actor; he sounded like he was speaking from within a tumble dryer.
You clenched your jaw at the pain invading your skull, ignoring it as you reached out, using your index and middle finger as make-shift scissors, closing the two to cut the string. All the while, you questioned why you had chosen to use your talents for the psychic. Oh, yeah, it was because you felt bad for the guy.
The moment you opened your eyes, the headache that you experienced for the better half of the day skyrocketed. Fuck, it hurt. You wished you had stayed on Saiki's bed.
Your vision began to swim, a familiar wave of nausea hitting you. You felt the ground shift beneath you, unable to do anything as you realised you would fall face-first into Saiki's table. You hoped it wouldn't bruise. You closed your eyes to brace for impact, expecting pain.
When it didn't come, you opened your eyes, using the last of your energy to do so. Why did they have to feel so heavy? You still couldn't see clearly, but what you could tell was that someone had caught you before you fell.
Your body was limp; try as you might, you couldn't get your limbs to listen to you. It hurt to breathe; the sharp pain in your ribs made sure of that. You couldn't even raise your head to see who had caught you. Saiki's dad?
"...od grief... what happene..." You strained your ears to hear whoever was talking to you, to no avail. You scrunched your eyes shut as another wave of nausea hit you. You felt yourself being picked up before being placed on something soft. The bed?
You took in sharp breaths, trying to ease the pain. No such luck. When you felt a hand on your forehead, you opened and squinted your eyes to see. Even with your fuzzy vision, you knew you recognised the pink you saw.
'Kusuo?' You thought at the psychic, hoping you had guessed right. 'Yes?' The relief that filled you, when the pain seemed to ease at the sound of Saiki's voice in your head- was incomparable.
'Is that you?' A brief pause followed, and he answered before you could think of anything else. 'Who else? How did this happen?' You closed your eyes again, assuming he was asking about your deteriorating condition. 'I used nullification on you.'
Silence followed for a few seconds, and you found yourself missing the sound of Saiki's voice inside your brain. 'Why?' Was all he had asked, and you looked at him. You could see his face clearly now, and if you weren't feeling like you were going to throw up the food Mrs Saiki had made for you earlier, you were sure you'd be flushed.
He was so close, you could feel his breath fan your face. You noticed the faint wrinkle in between his eyebrows, surmising it was due to worry. 'Because you were looking forward to watching the show, and that actor would have spoilt it by accident.'
You felt sheepish admitting it to him; it wasn't like it was your job to care to begin with. But you did, and you couldn't understand why. That question would have to wait; first, you had to get better.
'Good grief. Stop doing troublesome things.' Was all he replied with, and you had half a mind to furrow your eyebrows at him incredulousness. Your lips parted to shoot a retort at him, and that's when you saw it.
The corners of his mouth twitched. You were shell-shocked, your mouth gaping open at the sight. Was Saiki smiling at you? It was gone with a flash, replaced by his iconic deadpan. 'I was not.'
He totally was! What a tsundere, not even able to admit that some part of him was low-key touched that you had done something for him out of consideration. 'I'm not touched; what you did was stupid. You have a fever.' You could only huff at Saiki's statement with the last of your energy.
'Yeah, that's normal. I haven't used my abilities on someone as strong as you before.' Using your skills to turn off your immunity compared to using your nullification to sever a connection between two people was a huge leap.
Especially when it involved the world's most potent psychic to ever live. So, it was no surprise that the fevers you experienced as a child when Saiki was running around changing human biology with crazy hair colours- would make a comeback.
You were in no position to retaliate when Saiki picked you up and transported the two of you into your bedroom. The familiar feeling of your mattress helped relax your body.
'I'm leaving the second I can transport again.'
You said nothing as the pink-haired boy made quick work of tucking you under the covers and placed a cold compress on your forehead.
You half expected him to place a kiss on your forehead like you had seen in all the romance mangas you had read- where the female lead got sick, and the male lead took care of her. No kiss was exchanged. To your disappointment.
'Thank you.' That was all you could think at him. He turned his back to you, and then he was gone. You sighed, running a hand through your hair. The day had been nothing short of a disaster.
That's when you realised- Saiki had stayed longer than 3 minutes.
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The next day at school, nothing had changed. Something you were semi-glad for. You had thought things between you and Saiki would be awkward.
They weren't; when he saw you that morning, all he had done was nod at you, acknowledging your existence before he turned to face the blackboard at the front of the class. You ignored the disappointment you felt.
When the school bell signalled the end of the academic day, you got ready to pack your things and leave. That was until you noticed a light blue-haired boy walk up to Saiki, who was in front of you, ready to leave the classroom.
"Guess what? I've been summoned." You deadpanned at Kaidou's statement, something you were sure you picked up off of Saiki. Was he rubbing off on you? Nah, no way. Not possible. "If I told you why, I'd have to kill you both."
Your expression relaxed when Kaidou's eyes met yours, and you gave him a confused smile, signalling one thing. 'I don't know what the fuck you're on about.' You watched as the blue-haired boy puffed his chest like some peacock.
"But for now, let's just say the world's in store for some pretty big changes." With that, Kaidou waddled away like some penguin. What was with that walk, and why was his ass swaying side to side as he continued down the hallway?
"What? Did he make a friend?" Saiki asked, and you were surprised when he turned his head to the right to make eye contact with you. You looked back at him, still leaning half your body out of the classroom with your hands on the door frame. You simply shrugged your shoulders before the both of you gazed at where Kaidou had turned the corner.
When Saiki moved forward, going in the same direction, you took a step toward him. "Where are you going?" Saiki looked over his shoulder at you, "I'm going after him because I'm curious." He stated before continuing down the hallway. You decided you were too, so you followed in tow.
The two of you spotted Kaidou walk up to the doors leading to the storage room on the second floor. He whipped his head around to see if anyone else was about. You were caught off guard when Saiki pulled on your arm to hide the two of you behind a wall.
You were brought face to face with the pink hair's chest, and when you looked up, you realised he was staring down at you. Damn, he had a sharp jawline. If you didn't know any better, you'd think Saiki was sculpted by the likes of Micheal Angelo. You felt your ears burn and chose to ignore them. Why the fuck was he so close, and why was he caging you against the wall?
"It'll be troublesome if he sees us," Saiki stated as he stepped away from you. You shook your head to get rid of the thoughts that had been going through your mind before the two of you peered at the blue-haired boy from your hidden spot. "Thurisaz, isaz, hagalaz, sowilo, gebo, fehu." You couldn't help but think Kaidou sounded like he was summoning a demon. He must've taken his role as the Jet Black Wings very seriously.
When the door opened, the light blue-haired boy walked in. Saiki left your side and started to walk over to the door where Kaidou had been moments later. You followed soon after, and you strained your ears to hear what was happening in the room.
The following 5 minutes were nothing but painful. You heard two voices; one was Kiadou's, and the other, you guessed, was a student who must have been his friend. You and Saiki listened as the blue-haired boy claimed it was hard to believe that he used to be part of the Dark Reuinion before he figured out that the organisation was evil, went rogue, performed some technique when he got cornered and managed to transmigrate into Shun Kaidou's body when he was unborn.
Was this some sort of weird realistic roleplay? Sure, it was nice to have his fantasies come true through acting, but you weren't sure it was a good idea to spur on his delusions. Kaidou was too far gone already. His 'friend' told him that they would do anything to help Kaidou get his memories back because his power was needed.
Who was 'they'? You couldn't help but question the whole situation. Something about it felt sketchy. Kaidou seemed to have the same thought in mind, wondering who 'they' were. Apparently, there were four other phantoms in the room. It got weirder and weirder. The 'friend' claimed Kaidou couldn't see them, and that meant he could never help.
Kaidou jumped to try and save face, saying he could see the phantoms. What a joke. You weren't so curious anymore; now you just wanted to leave. You stopped paying attention to the conversation until you heard the 'friend' exclaim, "Stop!" followed by, "Mannaz, ingwaz, wunjo!"
Great, someone else that liked to blurt gibberish. You cringed when you heard Kaidou's friend state that the Dark Reunion had gotten into the room and killed the four phantoms. Since when could phantoms die? Wasn't all of this too much? You had to commend the 'friend' for staying in character so long; if it was you- you would have burst out laughing by then.
The friend stated that they needed to create a barrier to protect them before telling Kaidou to place all metal objects into the bag since it would interfere. Now things were just getting ridiculous. When Kaidou asked if the change had to be given as well, and that's when the realisation hit you.
The whole thing was a scam. That kid was trying to steal all of Kaidou's money under the guise of roleplay! What was worse- was that the poor blue-haired boy believed the whole thing was real. The only thing Kaidou actually got out of the entire thing was losing his wallet. Poor guy didn't even get to take his train pass back. This new friend of his was pure evil.
'Good grief.' You heard Saiki think at you, 'Good grief, indeed.'
The 'friend' told Kaidou that the Jet Black Wings was a saviour and to come back at the same time tomorrow. Something about not forgetting to do the sworn ally absolution. Panic resurfaced inside you when you heard the doorknob turn.
Looking left to right hurriedly, you barely had a chance to notice that Saiki wrapped a hand around your waist and teleported you inside the room. When your gaze refocused, you realised you were behind some sort of curtain. You had no idea why Saiki didn't decide to handle things on his own, instead opting to take you with him.
'Why couldn't you have just left me out there? I don't want to get involved-' You stopped mid-thought when Saiki looked down at you and glared. The audacity he had- to not only drag you into this mess but make you feel like you were in the wrong for complaining. You huffed to yourself in annoyance but stayed quiet non the less.
You proceeded to fold your arms over your chest, only for you to realise that, in your exasperation, you hadn't noticed that Saiki was still holding onto you. He stepped away, putting distance between you two the second the thought crossed your mind, something you tried not to be hurt over. Why? You didn't quite understand yourself.
You didn't have time to dwell on it; the guy who scammed Kaidou stole your attention when he spoke up. "That guy and his stupid fantasies are the best thing ever. He couldn't tell the absolution was my homework. All I had to do was play along with him. I even got the idiot to give me his wallet!" What a disaster. Poor Kaidou got ripped off and taken advantage of, all because of his Chuunibyu complex.
'What a pain. Kaidou, as your one friend, I'm telling you- do a better job choosing your other friends.' The exasperation in Saiki's voice was palpable. How would you break the news to the poor blue-haired boy? That his new friend was a good-for-nothing liar.
The sad excuse of a swindler was still gushing over how he had tricked Kaidou, and you could only shake your head. Would dumping the truth work better? Or hinting at it? Saiki already had a plan in mind, you realised, as the lights turned off in the room. "What the? Who did that?" The scammer asked.
“Dark reunion.”
What happened to the guy in glasses next was not spoken of after.
When Kaidou dragged the both of you to the same room the day after, the whole place was trashed, and the words dark reunion were plastered on the wall. The latter was your handiwork.
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"Hey buddy, ready for the beach? I was walking by, and I saw the last name Saiki on the mailbox, so I figured this must be where ol' Kusuo lives." Nendou stood in the doorway, explaining himself as he pointed at the mailbox, a blow-up dolphin in his other hand. He was dressed for the day, clad in a red shirt with floral patterns and shorts.
You made eye contact with Saiki only to get a glare back. You looked off to the side, feeling like you were in trouble. 'Why are you here?' That was an excellent question, indeed. If only you had stayed home, Nendou wouldn't have spotted you on the streets and dragged you along for a day by the seaside. You looked to Saiki again, 'I didn't choose to come here of my own free will.'
You were still somewhat peeved that you didn't get a say in the matter. Nendou had assumed a yes from you and decided for himself that you would accompany him.
"Ku-Ku-Kusuo, is this your friend?" For a second, you thought Mrs Saiki was terrified of Nendou. Something you wouldn't fault her for; he did look like a gangster, after all. "He's not my friend." Saiki's comment fell on deaf ears as Mrs Saiki burst into tears, a handkerchief manifesting into her hands out of nowhere. "Oh, dear! My little boy finally has a friend. I'm so happy!"
This was definitely one of the reasons why you loved Saiki's mom; she was just too precious. "Sorry girly girl, but me and him ain't friends- we're best buddies!" Mrs Saiki burst into tears again, "Oh, dear! My little boy's finally getting a normal life!"
"I never knew you had a sister, pal." That comment practically made Mrs Saiki putty in Nendou's hands. She gushed about how the wannabe gangster thought she was young enough to look like Saiki's sister. You couldn't tell if Nendou was buttering her up or if he was being serious. Knowing him, it was probably the latter.
'How many times is he going to maker her cry?' Saiki wondered from next to you. 'At least they're tears of joy.' A warm smile stretched on your lips; the woman needed to be protected at all costs. Movement in your peripherals broke you from your thoughts. You turned to Saiki, who was stood beside you, looking up at him when you felt his stare on you.
His lips parted as if he was about to say something when Saiki's mom commented that Nendou taking Saiki to the beach sounded like fun. "Uh, yeah, I'm not going." The smile on Mrs Saiki's face disappeared in an instant, and the glare she shot Saiki's way sent chills down your spine. "Your best buddy went out of his way to ask you in person. You're going to the beach, Kusuo."
"Oh, dear."
A snicker fell out your lips, and you immediately covered your mouth with your hand so as to not draw attention to yourself. By then, it was too late; your plans to quietly try and slip away from the group were foiled by your own hands. Mrs Saiki started to gush over you instead, and the plan to spend a lazy day indoors seemed to be further and further away.
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That's how you and Saiki ended up going to the beach. Kaidou had joined the group as well, something you pitied when you observed how much Nendou teased him about being afraid of the water. You watched from your seat on the blanket next to Saiki as Kaidou denied it all, fresh tears in his eyes. "N-no. Th-that's not true. I know how to swim, jerk. I-I'm not afraid of the water." You almost felt bad for him; why was he here again?
'Well, he's turned on the waterworks.' Ironic. Saiki's comment nearly made you choke on your drink, and you coughed. The psychic's hand on your back, patting lightly, surprised you, to say the least, but you welcomed it. Anything to clear your airways. You chalked up the help to him feeling guilty.
You watched as Kaidou proceeded to enter the sea, only to slip and start drowning in inch-deep water. That's when you decided the second-hand embarrassment was too much to handle, standing up to take off your top so you could go swimming.
You stopped in the middle of your task, your crossed hands still clasped around the ends of your top as you turned to Saiki, who stared you down. 'Yes, I'm leaving you here. You're on your own, nerd.' You thought at him, glancing between Saiki and his book. He stayed silent, only glaring at you over his glasses. You could tell what he was thinking already; how could you just leave him?
You looked from Saiki to Hairo, whose pants had slipped when he ran to save Kaidou from drowning, Nendou- who stared at the other girls on the beach, then back to the psychic.
'Yeah, I'm not about to watch any more of their shenanigans; I'm out of here.'
You greeted Hairo briefly and walked towards the water in time to overhear that the red-haired boy had decided to volunteer as a lifeguard over the summer.
You walked further into the water until you couldn't feel the sand underneath your feet and started to swim further out until the voices of your classmates sounded distant.
Sighing, you floated on your back and stared up at the sun. The weather was way too warm, and you hated the heat because of how it caused you to sweat. At least now you could have some peace and quiet; your social battery had run out a while back.
The silence didn't last long, you felt a ripple in the water, and you opened one eye, only to realise the cause was Saiki. He sat on a blue swimming ring that had sun patterns on it. That's when you noticed he was shirtless, only wearing his yellow swimming trunks, and you tried not to stare, opting to look at the beach instead, coughing awkwardly.
You watched as a group of girls ran across the sand, Nendou not far behind, chasing them. "I don't want people knowing I'm with him." You had to agree with Saiki; being associated with Nendou was never a good thing. Looking away from the girls running away in terror on the beach, you looked back at the young esper.
'I get that- but why did you have to come here?'
'I draw less attention when I'm with you than when I'm by myself.'
'So, you're using me?'
‘Don’t make it weird.’
There was a brief pause before Saiki looked back at the beach. He sighed, closed his eyes, and then tilted sideways until his body crashed against the water. You shot up, no longer floating on your back. You kicked your legs to stay above the waves and looked around to see if you could spot Saiki.
'You won't find me. I'm on the seabed. When I want to be alone or get some serious thinking done, I come down here. I find the seafloor relaxing.'
You jumped in your skin at the sound of his voice in your head. You raised an eyebrow to yourself when your brain registered what he had said. You didn't get the chance to reply to him, the sound of Nendou shouting stealing your attention.
"Saiki! You going pee-pee?!"
'Oh man, next time, I'll have to go deeper. Better go back before they start looking.'
You stopped paying attention to what Saiki was thinking at you when you noticed a girl in the water. Was she... She was drowning! Your body moved before you could think. The water around you splashed violently as you started swimming, trying to get to her as fast as you could.
You heard Nendou and Kaidou in the distance. Now hang on a minute, you swore the blue-haired boy had no idea how to swim- how had he made it this far out? As if on cue, Kaidou started drowning as well. You relaxed somewhat when you watched Nendou save the idiot, carrying him on his back.
By then, you had made it to the girl, the other two boys still making their way towards you. You tried to grab onto her to save her, only for her to jump on you in her panic. You realised then that both of you were screwed. "Calm down-" You don't get to finish your sentence as you felt your body give way under her weight.
You ended up underwater along with the girl, your legs spent and tired. Surely, this wasn't how things ended. You had so much left to do! So many sites to see! Your mind went into overdrive as you sank deeper.
When you felt something brush against your feet under the water, you nearly lost all your composure; the safety of your classmates and the random girl next to you was no longer your priority. You calmed down when you recognised the pink underneath the clear waves.
'What a pain. Everyone around me is so needy.'
Saiki placed his hands on your waist and effortlessly lifted you until your head was above water. Your fight or flight kicked in, adrenaline pumping through your veins, and your legs started kicking lightly to keep you afloat. You looked around until your eyes landed on Nendou, who was standing on the water as if it was a solid surface, with Hairo, Kaidou and the drowning girl from earlier on his back.
"What? Nendou, you're walking on water!" Hairo exclaimed as he looked down. "When'd you learn how to do that?!" Kaidou chimed in, and you already knew the answer. It was Saiki, using his strength to lift them all up so they wouldn't drown. You watched as all four of them sped off towards the sand.
'See? I told him he'd have more luck walking on water than picking up girls.'
You snorted to yourself at Saiki's comment before tilting your body so you were on your back, letting the waves carry you as you caught your breath.   You closed your eyes, exhaustion kicking in as the adrenaline ran out. Your eyes opened when you felt the water move, making you slightly lose your balance.
You opened your eyes, squinting as the sun invaded your gaze, only for you to see Saiki. He turned around in the water, showing you his back, "Get on. I'll carry you to the beach." His closed statement left no room for discussion, and even if it had you, you were too tired to argue.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, mindful not to squeeze too hard and rested your head on him as he swam you back to the beach. You tried not to pay attention to how close the two of you were or how you could feel his body heat since he didn't have a top on.
After throwing your top back on, you watched as the girl who nearly drowned you apologised to Nendou. "Sorry I joked about how ugly your face is." She said and you guessed it was her way of thanking him for saving her. "Hmph, I'm glad you didn't ask for her number in return for your heroics," Kaidou said, giving the wannabe gangster a nod of approval.
"Heh, I try to be a gentleman, but if that hottie fell in love with me, I'm not gonna turn her down," Nendou replied, closing his eyes as if he was proud. You had to give it to him, the man had confidence. You walked alongside Saiki as you left Hairo and the girl.
"She wouldn't," Kaidou whispered under his breath, a smirk on his face. Nendou whipped his head around to shout at him. "What'd you say?!" The day at the beach ended and finally, you could go home.
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bonus:
After the four of you got back in town, Nendou and Kaidou split off so they could head home, Truth be told, that was the plan for you as well until Saiki stopped you.
"Do you want to come back to my house?" You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow at him at the suggestion. You were sure he thought of you as a nuisance like everyone else, yet here he was inviting you to his place.
"Don't get any weird ideas. Mom told me to bring you back for dinner. She likes having you around." Mrs Saiki hadn't specifically told him to bring you back, but Saiki did know that she liked your company. A small smile graced your face at the sentiment. Being liked by someone else's parents was a different type of validation. You shrugged and walked beside him back to the Saiki Household.
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next part - alexithymia  
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kusukeslab · 24 days
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i wonder how kurumi felt about kuusuke moving across the world and not coming back for 5 years
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lithth · 1 month
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cringy headcannons of the saiki family that nobody asked for:
we all know kusuo buys unpopular lame games to avoid spoilers but they are all shit so I like to think kusuke would make his own games for him and sometimes play/compete with each other
as a kid kusuo would transition into a girl to have mommy daughter times with his mother (dresses,makeup,nails,etc..)
kusuo is a mamas boy and kuusuke is a daddy’s boy. I have no explanation for this I just feel like kusuke would be a lot closer with his dad and kusuo closer with his mom
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yellowheartz · 1 month
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The world would not survive the death of Saiki Kusuo's mother.
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no-psi-nan · 2 months
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What if Saiki runs in a "girly" way because he learned to run by copying his mother?
After all, he was levitating in the air pretty much from the get-go and often "walked" several feet off the ground as a baby. So it would make sense if he later put in the effort to walk/run on the ground properly by imitating his mother's movements.
Mama's boy fr <3
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asexualcloud · 8 months
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evil versions of saiki k characters:
saiki: "eray eray, im going for some tea jello"
akechi: "..."
kaido: "i AM the dark reunion"
kuboyasu: "ew i hate short boys with blue hair and an obsession with a fake thing called 'dark reunion' "
yumehara: "i have stable relationships"
teruhashi: "i love kids!"
mera: "no thanks, im not hungry"
saiko: "can i borrow 20 bucks?"
nendo: "ewwww wtf in this 'ray-men' you speek of?"
rifuta: "im straight."
saiki (but kusuke): "whats masochism?"
saikis dad: "why would someone eat a shoe?!?!?!?"
saikis mom: idrk abt this one
mikoto: "i dont belive in fortune telling."
toritsuka: his entire existence is just that one time after he fasted for 3 days
hairo: "im going to take a break"
tell me if i forgot anyone
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psychicdisaster · 2 months
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I think if Kurumi and Kuniharu had another child, it would be god.
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tobisiksi · 2 months
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I'm writing something (wow) and while investigating I just noticed that basically kurumi and kuniharu were parents just one year posterior their first meeting
like, they met in November 22 of 1994
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the wiki refers to the actual year in the series as 2014 so if we do 2014 minus 19 (kusuke's age) we get 1995, JUST ONE YEAR AFTER MEETING??
plus they met in November and kusuke's bday is on June, it's not even a year-
also kurumi had 17 in 1994 and kuniharu had 19, they were parents at 18 and 20? when was their wedding?? that's why kumagoro is so fuckinf pissed?? maybe this was an obvious fact for everyone but I never thought about it until now srry
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bugscreating · 7 months
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saikisiblings · 11 months
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This may be a good idea.
Make kusuo be a magician/illusionist, and use his powers to entertain his family and whoever knows about his powers.
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Dapper little guy
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mac33cheese · 9 days
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"That character is older than you, he/she can't be your child?" Excuse me but I am the proud father of saiki kusou and kusuke saiki. My name is literally kuniharu saiki and my amazing beautiful awesome wife is kurumi saiki. Never speak to me or my family again 🫵🫃
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aoki553 · 7 months
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cooking mama and papa are so kurumi and kuniharu im crying
LOOK AT THEM
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shower-man · 1 year
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everyone in the saiki k fandom woke up this week and decided to trash on kunihara, and i am living for it
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I'm just now realizing just how dumb Kusuo saikis parents are... When they found out they had the same last name they didn't think that they were related, instead they thought that it was meant to be. I'm concerned for their entire family tbh.
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