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#like it's not as character heavy as ttte

b1anketplask · 3 months

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🏘 ttte Room and House headcanon for my human au (Mostly Steam Teams) 🏘

in the original show, they usually sleeps together on the tidmouth shed. but this is human au... and I had to be wise about where the humanoids sleeping cuz you know 7 person (except Toby cuz he sleeps at different shed) CAN'T sleeps in ONE room. So I thought about the "roommates" It's odd number but it makes sense. Emily is a only female in the tidmouths and I just can't let her sleeping with other male characters It's not about gender. it just makes me feel weird for some reason..... Um yeah the preface was quite long srry read hc under there! ↓↓

So about the house first, There are 'Share House' instead of 'Sheds'. And every engines sleep in their share houses. But some of them has their own house or manor for the royal or private engines. And Our steam team lives in share house called 'Tidmouth' just like the sheds in the original series. But there's some differences. They share one each bedrooms with their roommates. (except Emily.) The roommates are divided like:

Thomas & Percy

Thomas usually shared his room with Edward, But when Percy came to join, He asked Eddie to share room with Percy. Edward said yes and Thom and Percy share bedroom from then. They have bunk beds in their room, and Percy, who usually pulls a mail truck at dawn and early morning, sleeps bottom so he can move quickly. When Percy finish deliver the mails and falls asleep, Thomas quietly comes down from top and prepares for his work very quietly.

I brought an image similar to Percy and Thomas's room on Pinterest >:)

Edward & Henry

When Thom and Percy started to share room, Edward was thinking about sleeping on couch but Henry asked to share room with him before Eddie clear his mind with that choice. Edward and Henry are both are heavy sleeper (Hen is little heavier than Ed) so they don't wake up so easily. Edward likes to listen to quiet radio music when he sleeps, so Henry understands it and he falls asleep listening to it too. And when Henry can't easily fall asleep because of anxiety, Edward helps Henry fall asleep.

room image on pinterest for reference!

Gordon & James

Haha Yeah them. It was hilarious and very funny to imagine them living in same room. James always taking so many time on ready for work and Gordon always complaints about that. And James and Gordon both has sleep habits James is talking in his sleep and Gordon snores very loud af (Sometimes he hears himself snoring and wakes himself up by sound) And yeah They always fighting about this too XD it could be like:

Gordon: And YOU should stop talking in your sleep while your roommate trying to get some sleep!

James: Oh yeah? I thought I slept with some bulldog or something! I told you engine like ME must have at least 8 hours of sleep!

Yeah lol and Gordon always looks at James with makeup on his dressing table from morning and Can't understand why is he so dramatic about his looks and Maybe in the morning, the sound of these two fighting will be full of kitchen and living room lol

room image on pinterest for reference!

#ttte #thomas and friends #ttte human au #ttte humanized #bezel of sodor #ttte au #ttte thomas #ttte edward #thomas the tank engine #ttte Henry #ttte gordon #ttte james #ttte Percy #ttte headcanon #BP's writing

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thebunnylord · 9 months

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List of things the human AU ttte characters have done while coming out of anesthesia

Thomas: Wisdom teeth removal, was convinced that they stole his tongue

Edward: heart surgery, stared at the ceiling lights intensely before falling back to sleep

Henry: emergency surgery after his flying kipper accident, snores

Gordon: appendix removal, developed forgiven accent syndrome and cussed out the nurses in a heavy Scottish accent

James: wisdoms teeth, flirted with the nurses and then cried when the nurses tried to stop him from eating the gaze in his mouth.

Percy: wisdoms teeth:

(FLASHING LIGHTS AHEAD)

Toby: knee surgery, “I love you Henrietta! You are the best wife a man could ever have, if they were giving out awards for the best wife, you’d be number one… if you weren’t my wife, and I wasn’t married to you, and I was married to someone else, I would fight that person and run to you… oh Henrietta…”

Duck: leg lengthening, made a bunch of drunk duck quacking noises before reciting the railway rules and regulations

Donald: wisdom teeth, “ey dougie…. I did it…. Wow…. Go scotland… !!^%$!! England… can I have a lollipop?” Later became confused on how he obtained said lollipop.

Douglas: wisdom teeth, made a bunch of incoherent Scottish noises because his whole face was numb.

Oliver: dislocated shoulder, pretended he was flying a jet plane at one point.

Bill: wisdom teeth, let loose about everything he thought of about Ben.

Ben: wisdom teeth, was just coming out of anesthesia to even know that Bill was cussing him out, also took the entire jar of candy at the reception desk.(they had their wisdom teeth removed at the same time)

Emily: Broken arm, incoherent babbling.

Diesel: broken foot, told everyone there that he was going to quit his job to be gay (?????) or so that’s what it sounded like….

#thomas and friends #ttte #ttte headcanon #ttte humanisation #everyone is high on anesthesia #lots of wisdom teeth #tag yourself I think I was Donald but I woke up from my wisdom teeth removal asking my mom where the dinosaurs were

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ikoarts · 3 months

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October 2023 Art

for some reason i wrote a novel under the cut, for those of u actually reading, thank u for being so patient x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 03/10/2023 : another of my faves of last year, was trying to get better at drawing trainz, so just Edward and Toby hanging out, displaying the duality of old men x

2 - 04/10/2023 : got a new puter! one of the first things i set to doing after getting set up was to draw a Ru, of course, it was also just me trying to get used to the new MS paint..... it feels very odd

3, 4, 5 - 06/10/2023 : part 1 of redrawing random pics i have of Edward on my phone with my human version of him, this was really fun tbh, and the third here is one of my fave drawings of the year probs.. like sir.. those look heavy... what big uhh.. Glasses.. you have

6, 7, 8 - 07/10/2023 : part 2! i think i just like drawing his face... dare i say this train is cunty or will that get me exiled

9 - 08/10/2023 : something stupid i thought of and couldn't get out of my head for days so had to draw it..... little johnny from oingo boingo's only a lad, doing what he does best, fantasising about radios he wants oh so bad and running people down with a boyish craving for blood.. based on that 1 meme of the guy driving and thinking of a thing then making that insane face

10 - 09/10/2023 : based on that 1 silly vargskelethor song (that could not be less specific), had Shed 17 on the brain and was reminded of the milk song where the skeleton comes out.. thomarse dank 2 much milk and died..

11, 12 - 10/10/2023 : chooshada again :333 first a little doodle on my phone bc i was wondering about her livery, i do think she'd have originally been NER apple green but then painted NWR colours, butttt with a twist... coz i can do whatever i like... the twist is just that she's painted dark blue rather than a sky blue, coz its more her colour x

ALSO MS paint shada, wanted to draw her more uh, idk, detailed ig, idk i love this one, it also served as more train practice

13 - 13/10/2023 : previous one, but with COLOUR!! not much 2 say other than that shes very cute

14 - 18/10/2023 : saw a tweet abt old photos of engine crews posing with their crashed locos and how the NWR crews would do that, made me think of how, if Toni was (choo)shada's driver, she'd do that.. probably x .. very like her to slay in the midst of a terrible accident

15 - 22/10/2023 : predictably, i have some playlists for the ttte engines, one for Diesel which is notable here, so uhh, i have the scrapped song from the lorax "biggering" in there, bc i see it as like a Duck vs Diesel song, ik im surpassing several layers of cringe here but hear me out ok... i drew this at 2am coz i couldn't stop thinking of Duck lecturing Diesel

16, 17, 18 - 25/10/2023 : speaking of playlists, think i was listening to my Robin one here, and felt like drawing him, i have "the land of make believe" in there, which ive always found to be an oddly haunting song, so this is semi based on that, though that wouldn't be apparent if i hadn't just told u x .. this looks like vent art but tis not i was just having fun

also tiny chooshada, i was in the middle of writing something which i have literally Just remembered now and i was writing a scene where Ru is stuck between some characters who shes not looking forward to working with bc they're about to bicker the whole fuckin time and one of them thinks shes a dick, so i drew her being sad that shes forced to work with morons..... and speak of the devil, 3rd drawing is here with 2 of the aforementioned morons :D i think D+D take a liking to her, they're just a little obnoxious (love them for that)

19 - 27/10/2023 : a quick(ish) digital thing of Chooshada again that i did on the side of another project, more engine drawing practice he he, she'll be out of proportion and lacking detail but really it was just to not be too hard on myself about that, it did help i think to understand how to draw her more, plus just look at her lil face... also she has a number here, doesn't mean much other than 8 being her lucky number, other than 11, like those are just her numbers, suppose i could have it be 1188 to ref her bday, idfk x

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unpopularvivian · 4 months

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My Ttte Human Designs (Edward):

Headcanons:

Kind, helpful, loyal and wise. Is willing to give good advice to anybody who needs it. (If they deserve it of course)

Is actually pretty young, even younger than Gordon. (Hey, being wise doesn't mean you're a grandpa)

His human age is 43 while his actual age is 128.

His personality is way more assertive and serious. On top of that, he's a lot more sarcastic and he's now the burnt out mentor™️.

Do NOT call him "Old Iron", it triggers him so much that he will thrown you out of a window if you do. The nickname gives him bad memories when he was working at his old railway and had to deal with a nasty crane called Rick. Rick constantly harassed him and called him names which ties in with Edward's weird bias of cranes.

He needs COFFEE.

Has really bad insomnia and it gives him horrifying nightmares as a result.

Gay asf.

He and Toby are married for 10 years. Had a thing with James but broke up with him. Their relationship now are more like brothers.

When he was red, he was a fucking gremlin. Didn't listen to anybody and just did his own thing. He eventually calmed down and become a functioning member of society.

Tired dad of Thomas and taught him all of the pranks he knew. (Toby didn't approve of that)

Is a pretty honest guy in general. But, that also leads him being unintentionally savage with his wording. He ended many people's careers on accident (Or on purpose).

He does smoke but only in rare situations.

He's pretty tall if you compare him with other characters. Only James is taller than him by a couple inches.

Is really good at playing the drums. Maybe, a bit TOO good.

Loves heavy metal and rock music and literally has hundreds of metal and rock music albums stored in his closet.

His closest friends:

Toby (Husband), Henry, Gordon, James, Thomas, Emily and Percy. His honest but sometimes savage way of wording and crankiness can be hard to adjust. However, once you know him, he can become one of your closest lads ever.

His enemies:

Cranky, Diesel (All formerly) and pedos. He hates them with a burning passion even since a female pedo tried to groom his fireman's kid.

#thomas and friends #ttte #thomas the tank engine #ttte headcanon #ttte humanisation #ttte human au #ttte humanized #ttte edward

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shinygoku · 1 month

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thoughts on cgi episodes of ttte? I'm curious to hear whatever praises or criticisms you have for that era of the series

Apologies for the delay, I started this but felt it was too Stream-of-Consciousness to be worth publishing. After a virtual pair of scissors it's much better but it's not one of my best metas. Still, I sure have Thoughts! So if you happen upon this month late answer, enjoy~

I think, much like the model series, it's quite the mixed bag... but even at its best None of the CGI episodes or specials reach the early pinnacle set by Seasons 1 and 2.

I'm famously[?] s3 Critical but I'm much more likely to wanna watch one'a the episodes where David Mitton was director than anything CGI (...depending on the episode lmao, some are nuclear waste as early as 3 and a lot in 6 lmaooo) -- that's in part due to my immense fondness and respect for the scale models and practical effects.

This ain't me ragging on CGI, but it is me saying that for Thomas the live action Supermarionation style works best for it. The CGI itself allows for things that wouldn't be possible [or finacially sensible], and that's good! But I feel like it became a crutch for the series to continue spinning wheels without covering new track, y'see?

Like, the Engines as models are still limited in some of the same ways irl Steam Locos are - they have to have track to run on, there's an upper limit for the rakes they pull, you can't bash them into walls without heavy damage, things like that. This also helped inform the post-Awdry stories they ran, it's the kind of limitation that makes writing more robust.

This doesn't make it immune to running out of ideas, of course, but it's a reliable guideline. The model series very much running out of plots is why I don't watch any post season 7!

With CGI there's an "all bets are off" aspect where they could use it for more complex settings, scenarios and characters. But a rot still started to creep in and hit the nadir with BWBA, where they just do whatever a weird ass mandate insists upon.

There's also the moving faces debate, I suppose. CGI letting them lip sync and giving them individual voices was another big game changer. But was it needed? The books lend themselves so well to the Narrator style (when it's someone like Ringo, even better hahaha), but the more distinct voices there are, the more room there is for something to sound ...off.

So let's sum up some CGI pros:

Increased possibility of complex designs, mechanisms and scenery

Episodes should be easier to produce and more effort could go into other areas

If lucky, the voice acting will be good

And some cons:

The majority of the CGI is still pretty daggy looking, and bad CGI ages it much more than seeing the edge of a physical set

The episodes either don't do much interesting with the freedom, or go too far and do stupid shit like an action movie bridge jump or the whole engine rocking back and forth like a kiddie ride when they talk

The voice acting isn't well suited to the stories... or it ain't good at all!

I mean it genuinely when I say not only is 2D Animation better for a less-realistic version of Thomas, but AEG actually going as balls to the wall is an improvement over the dying thrashes of BWBA. The CGI shoulda held itself to more realism, but didn't, but at least Very Cartoony Trains having extendable spider limbs is more consistant with itself.

...In summation, I am Not A Fan of CGI Thomas. Which is why I limit my input of CGI eps, honestly! I ain't saying everything about it sucks, but the collective whole of it isn't good enough to keep me watching.

#Thomas Meta #I don't wanna use my regular tags but that's cause this feels unrefined #The main point of this is that Thomas ideally should be Tokusatsu #'Cinders and Ashes! The Colour Timer means we only have 3 more minutes of Coal left to use!'

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ttte-tugscrowskullausmainblog · 2 years

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Hi, I'm Crowskull, but Crow is a preferred nickname. I'm just a piece of trash, doing my thing, being trash and all. UwU This is my main Thomas The Tank Engine art blog, which will feature reblogs, memes, text posts, and of course my fan art of TTTE and my AUs of it. (I chose this font because I am a computer)

I currently have three main AUs; Human, Demon, and my own Engine AU with my own interpretations of the characters. All of my AUs will feature my own interpretations of the characters and less so those of the originals.

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⚠️ Warnings: this blog contains; strong language/cursing, sometimes heavy angst, maybe occasional gore like blood and injury, depictions of abuse, disturbing imagery, some seggsual content, this blog is intended to be 17+⚠️

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This is my art blog, will also feature reposts and memes and such but this is mainly an art and au blog of my TTTE stuff. If there is anything here you don't like, you are free to leave, there are many other options besides me. I will listen to opinions and any issues you may have, but if all you do is complain during your stay here, that is on you, if you won't be mature then I really don't care. I am a nice person and am open to others' opinions but if you disturb our vibes here I will yeet your soul into the internal abyss. It's not my fault you thought I was normal, you'll have plenty of time and more than enough clues to figure that shit out on your own.

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-Summary-

People pleasing is for bitches, and I ain't no bitch. I am very blunt and usually just as honest, and I'm a dry comedian. If you think I've insulted you, I most likely didn't, I'm just quoting phrases that I find funny. This blog mostly exists because none of my friends are well versed in TTTE and my attention seeking side wants to show arts.

I plan on making a separate ask blog for the characters in the future, but for now I still welcome asks for them. I also welcome requests and ideas and of course welcome feedback and suggestions, if given professionally and properly.

I think I covered everything. That should be all, lads. Farewell to all, and to all a good night.

(I also have another blog called crows-main-art-blog which features my non-ttte art)

Peace. ✌️✨🏳️‍🌈💕

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I do have an extra blog for my much more adult content. crows-mature-ttte-blog. Not for kids, 17+ only. No NSFW, mostly thirst traps and simp fuel I make for myself usually out of boredom or if I have a good enough idea.

#crows blog intro #hope you all enjoy #if not #im not that concerned about it #but if you do enjoy then thank you very much #local dumbass reporting out #kay byee #v3 because this is much more me

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ghostbellies · 2 years

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Hi, tag anon here- I'm sorry about my previous ask. I'm not super familiar with tumblr and I didn't know that blocking you would make your posts go away? I thought it just meant YOU couldn't message or reblog from ME because that's what it says when you click it. I'll be using that button a lot more now.

Also, to clarify, it was entirely about the 3/4, because it was snowing up on my recommended page from following ttte blogs and I couldn't filter it without a specific tag. Like, it's not that I'm getting your art in Henry/Gordon tags, it's that I'm getting your Henry/Gordon art on the for you page. I mentioned the other bits cause I figured you'd already have people bothering you about that and I wanted to head that off. If I can simply Not See Your Blog (which is a great blog! I just have issues!) I'll do that instead. & fwiw your character designs are absolutely genius, I just extremely don't want to see that ship. I'm really sorry for causing you so much bother over it!

Thanks for the explanation - yes, blocking me will prevent me interacting with YOU too, but it's the most surefire way to not see my content. If you're a friend of mine, then hit me up and we can discuss, but if you're a casual watcher, welp...

See you space cowboy!

I appreciate that you like my designs, that's way sweet of you to say - but 3/4 is Very Important To Me Right Now, and i am getting a lot of joy from drawing them. I understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but it is MY tea - 3X4 Kipper Express Special Reserve, with 12 sugars, heavy cream, and a big splash of Sudrian Whisky.

So for your own state of mind, you're better off blocking!

This goes for anyone else too: You always can come to me and RESPECTFULLY tell me if something is bothering you with my art, but keep in mind, more than likely your best bet is to block and move on.

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zponds · 2 years

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Now a few days ago, I had chitchats with Hunty627 and Grantgfan about TTTE characters that are original, and they showed me a lot of their own. I was amazed by that and was inspired by them to make some of my own. And I thought of 16 characters that I thought up of by myself; 8 American locomotives (4 steam and 4 diesel) from the New York Central and the other 8 (4 steam and 4 diesel) from the Pennsylvania Railroad. This post will go over the four steam locomotives of New York Central. So I hope you enjoy reading this post. ^^

Mohawk - Mohawk is a New York Central L4-B Mohawk steam locomotive and his number is #3128. He’s named “Mohawk” because his locomotive type was named after the Mohawk River and the Mohawk locomotives ranged in classes from L1-A to L4-B, and Mohawk himself is an L4-B class Mohawk locomotive. And being that, Mohawk is big and powerful, able to handle both freight trains and passenger trains with ease, and Mohawk can go fast, despite not being streamlined. Mohawk’s personality is good and he’s always willing to help others. He doesn’t mind pulling freight trains; though sometimes he can get a little dirty from it (as shown above), and when he’s done with a freight train, he gets a nice wash down. And Mohawk always loves to be washed.

Niagara - Niagara is a New York Central Niagara type steam locomotive and his number is #6015. He’s named “Niagara” because his locomotive type was named after the Niagara Falls and river. Like Mohawk, Niagara is big and strong, capable of pulling heavy freight trains with ease, as well as passenger trains, and like Mohawk, Niagara can go very fast, despite not being streamlined. Despite being the youngest of the four (having shown up in 1945), Niagara can act like a grandpa from time to time, especially when telling stories. And being a big NYC steam engine like Mohawk, he and Niagara can act like a pair of brothers from time to time. And like Mohawk, Niagara always loves to be washed after handling dirty freight cars like coal cars.

Hudson - Hudson is a streamlined New York Central Hudson and his number is #5450. Hudson is the locomotive that pulls the 20th Century Limited. He’s named “Hudson” because his locomotive type was named after the Hudson River. Hudson is a caring engine, though he can be a little cocky and too proud of himself as he is a streamlined engine.

Steele - Steele is another streamlined New York Central Hudson steam locomotive and his number is #5429. Steele is the locomotive that pulls the Empire State Express, and he’s very proud to be the Empire State Express engine… though sometimes, a little too proud. Now he’s named “Steele” because he and the Empire State Express were streamlined using stainless steel. Steele can be a little too proud of his work (like Gordon) and can be a little too focused about being splendid (like James the red engine). Despite that, Steele is a caring engine and a good friend to his fellow NYC steam engines.

Now that I’ve gone over the four NYC steam locomotives and their personalities, I’m now gonna go over their history; though be warned, it’ll be a little sad.

When these four came out from the works (Hudson in 1937, Steele in 1941, Mohawk in 1942, and Niagara in 1945), they were very glad to be really useful engines, along with the rest of their siblings. When World War II raged on, Hudson, Steele, and Mohawk, along with their siblings, proved to be very reliable in transporting goods and troops during the busier and heavier wartime traffic in World War II. When Niagara and his siblings came into the picture, the war in Europe was over. Despite that, he and his siblings became one of the greatest and best performing 4-8-4 steam locomotives ever built. Into the 1950s, Hudson, Steele, Mohawk, and Niagara enjoyed each other’s company and enjoyed working with their siblings.

However, by 1955, they noticed that less people and goods were being transported by rail; as more and more people and goods were beginning to betray the railroads by using highways and airlines instead. And on top of that, diesels were showing up and began talking about how they’re the engines of the future. And things only got worse when New York Central CEO: Alfred Perlman (driven mad by unfair popularity of highways and airlines, and much of the railroad’s taxes going to the two), ordered ALL steam locomotives to be scrapped. When they heard the news, Hudson, Steele, Mohawk and Niagara were horrified and they were sent into hiding by a handful of friendly diesels (who had sympathy for the steamers). Hudson, Steele, Mohawk and Niagara became soon developed a grudge against highways and airlines. Throughout the 1960s and 1970s, the four were constantly on the run from being scrapped (like Oliver the Great Western engine), and during so, they saw that more and more diesels were popping up everywhere.

Finally, in February 1980, they were finally found by railroad enthusiasts, steam locomotive fans, and two diesels of the (then new) Amtrak: Ronnie and Terry (both made by Grantgfan and credit goes to Grantgfan). The four NYC steam locomotives were then restored to working order and restored to their formal and rightful glory by July 1981, becoming part of Contail’s New York Central heritage fleet. Now the four were very happy to be restored and protected by railroad enthusiasts and steam fans and they were also very happy to run heritage trains to keep the history of New York Central alive. And from time to time, Mohawk and Niagara help pull freight trains, and these freight trains usually consisted of New York Central boxcars with New York Central cabooses at the rear of the train. As for Hudson and Steele; Hudson still pulls the 20th Century Limited and Steele still pulls the Empire State Express, therefore keeping the history alive. Though keep in mind that the coaches and trains themselves are of the original 20th Century Limited and Empire State Express of New York Central. Whenever Mohawk and Niagara pull a passenger train, the coaches are default green (non-streamlined) New York Central coaches. When Conrail split and ceased operations in 1999, these four steamers and the rest of the New York Central heritage fleet went under CSX ownership when CSX aqueduct much of ex-New York Central.

However, despite being restored and being really useful engines again, the four still have a grudge against highways and airlines, as those things are the reason why the siblings of the four NYC steam engines were massacred.

And so, that’s the story and facts about the four New York Central steam locomotives. I hope you all enjoyed reading this post. Now I plan on making a post about four New York Central diesels that are actually different from the other diesels, so stay tuned for that post.

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gundamcalibarney · 3 years

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on the topic of “TTTE but characters are different basis.” AUs,

Gordon, but he’s that 2-10-0 Austerity locomotive, he’s a heavy freight locomotive but he’s like “ugh No! i Want passenger trains!” but because of what was happening at the time he couldn’t get said passenger trains until he got his tender shipped to Sodor/post ‘what was happening at the time’.

He greatly admired Passenger engines because of how grand they were with their spiffed up coaches and shiny and colourful liveries while he’s stuck pulling dirty freight trains and he’s just >:(

thats really all i got at the moment sudhsjhsaisua

i made this because of Jobey and also because i like the idea/thought of Gordon starting out as a freight locomotive before becoming Sodor’s main passenger engine.

#corejo talks #ttte #thomas the tank engine #ttte gordon #NOW GORDON’S AN EXTRA BIG BOY

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little-red-toyota · 3 years

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Final good bye to the fandom

TW//Trauma, triggers, nsfw, sexual themes, rape, domestic abuse e.g.

This is gonna be a long ass post…

It has taken me a while to get emotionally strong enough to do this, as I will have to think back at some traumatic events from my past to address some of these things. That's why I waited until I got home from vacation with my family, as it will seriously affect my mood and mental health, and I want to be near my doctor and therapist, just in case.

And also, I know that the majority of those reading this will invalidate me and tell me I am making things up to clear my name. So, I literally have to torment myself to write a blog post people will just brush off as bogus anyway. But I will do it now that I am in safe surroundings. Then it will be off my chest, and I can finally move on. If people will continue stirring up the past, it will be their problem, not mine.

I think I should write one last blog post where I address everything. I have left the TTTE-fandom, but I will write that one as my final goodbye to the fandom. I just have to find out everything I've been accused of so I can properly address them all in order. I might leave out details of my life that is too hard for me to open up about. I know most of you will just invalidate me anyway.

1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

2. My mafia-AU.

3. The Darin incident.

4. Being a pedophile. (Where do they get this from anyway??)

5. Running the NSFW-blog.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

Is there more?

Ah... yes! Faking my own suicide, of course!

7. "Faking" being suicidal.

8. Having the audacity to survive and go on living.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

Anything else that needs to be addressed? What else am I being accused of? Send me a dm and I will add it to the post.

Okay, I will bump the Stepney fic down a bit as it is the most traumatic thing for me to address, I will save that one for last.

2 and 3. The dark au/mafia au where I gave some TTTE characters some rather dark and unpleasant character traits, and the whole incident with Darin and the pedo-Salty was addressed in this blog post written by my husband last year, so I am not opening that can of worms again: https://little-red-toyota.tumblr.com/post/623743183795470336/in-light-of-recent-events

Even the thing about Toby cheating on Henrietta is addressed there.

As for the au, I never fully explored it as I started losing interest in TTTE around the same time. I found other things to enjoy and TTTE faded into the background and the au was dropped before I even wrote any stories, apart from the one about Toby and Henrietta.

Some people claim, like this lovely individual, that most of the characters were rapists and pedos. No, not most. Only one of each. And I did not write more than one story about rape and suicide. Where does this person even get that from? Someone who told someone who had heard from someone who might have heard….?

Don't spread rumors unless you are sure that they are true.

Anyway, it's all addressed in that blog post in that link. I don't see how this mafia au is any worse than other dark post-apocalyptic or violent aus. It mostly was about the diesel mafia and their illegal businesses, not about sex, even if it did occur now and then. I find the substance abuse in it to be more problematic tbh…

4. Being a pedophile.

I don't even know how to defend myself against this one, as I don't even know why people think I am pedophile. They only throw the accusation out with no backing evidence, so I have no idea where it comes from or what it is that makes people think I am one.

Apart from one claim that I had faved "porn" alongside "strangers'" baby photos on DA. I addressed that earlier though. As DeviantArt doesn't sort what you click "like" on, it all ends up in the same folder unless you actively go through it and sort it into categories, which I don't bother most of the time. It also doesn't say WHEN it was added to your faves. So, I can have faved an artistic nude on Saturday, and then faved my friend's family photo on Thursday. It's not like I actively search for porn, get all steamed up and then look at pictures of children. WTF.

The few children I have faved are not from complete strangers, but long-term friends of mine. Yes, it is possible to have friends on the same website. I have actually met a lot of my RL friends through DeviantArt. I posted photos of my daughter when she was a baby, they would fave it and congratulate me. So, I did the same when they had a baby. As simple as that. Nothing weird or perverted about it. Due to people doxxing me last year however, I deleted the photos of me, my husband and my daughter from DeviantArt, so it's no longer there.

Porn isn't allowed on DeviantArt anyway. The nudes there are so-called artistic nudes, and for the most part I use them as pose-references when I draw as it is easier to draw a pose using a nude base and then dress them up once you got the pose right.

"The very naked" centaurs I have faved. Well, I like the mythological creature Centaur. And as far as I know… they do not wear clothes, so how are they NOT nude? Look it up, it's a horse body with a human torso instead of horse head. I don't see them as sexual, but what do I know? Maybe YOU do?

I have no sexual interest in children whatsoever.

5. Running the NSFW-blog on Tumblr and Twitter.

Yes. I was one of six people modding that blog. ONE of six, so I refuse to take the full blame here.

MerciResolution has openly admitted to being the founder, and she recruited me and some others to modify as the confession load became too heavy for one person to handle alone.

The original blog on Tumblr worked as follows: People would anonymously send a confession to our askbox, we would add a picture (sometimes photoshopped) to the text and post it on the blog. Always tagged as NSFW and with proper trigger warnings if necessary! The blog itself was also marked as explicit, so it didn't appear in searches and such.

For us, this blog was nothing but a joke. We did it for shits and giggles. If anyone took it seriously and thought we got off to the stuff that was posted, we apologize for that, but to us it was just for laughs. And we DID laugh a lot, you guys should have seen the weird shit people sent us sometimes!

We had fun and we never thought anyone would take it seriously, so we never thought of writing "joke" in the description or anything. It never occurred to us that it could be anything but a joke.

We also made a Twitter account for it, also locked for minors. But it was quickly hacked, and someone changed the password so we could no longer access it. We made another account and forgot about the old one…

After a while, the original mods started losing interest and the blog (both on Tumblr and Twitter) became less active. That's when a person I had known for years, and wrongfully trusted, came forward and wanted to take over ownership. So, the ownership was handed over to Russalita/Charlie.

That turned out to be huge mistake!

Me and the other mods had more or less forgotten that the blogs existed, when suddenly someone started bashing me and getting up in my arms over it. I got seriously confused as I hadn't been active on it in almost a year. But as it turned out, Russalita had removed the mature filters and made the accounts open for all the see. Even minors.

And as people knew I was one of the mods, they fired their guns at me. I can see why though, so I'm not pointing any fingers here.

I tried contacting her by phone, asking her to lock the accounts again, but she gave me a less than polite response, hung up and then blocked my number…

So, I decided to try to shut the blogs down on my own, trying the old passwords. It worked on the Tumblr-account, and I managed to password protect it, for some reason it couldn't be fully deleted. But the Twitter account had gotten its password changed by Russalita. I was however able to get a new password by logging into the e-mail we had used to create it. I deleted the Twitter blog fully. It can't be re-activated even if we wanted to. It's gone.

But it turns out the old, hacked one is still up and now open for everyone. And this one poses a huge problem as we have no way of getting into it to delete it. Only thing we have been able to do so far is reporting it and hope it will be removed by Twitter. So I only have one thing to say about it: report it.

I am no longer running any NSFW TTTE blog anywhere, nor do I have interest in doing so. So, if you come across one, claiming to be me or any of the other mods, it is false.

6. Drawing penises/boobs on trains. Drawing age-regression art.

People seem to believe I have drawn genitals on trains. I have never done such. Any art on the NSFW-blog with genitalia on the trains were sent in by confessors and was not drawn by me. Most of them seems to have been drawn by someone who goes by the name "The Lance".

I HAVE drawn things for the NSFW blog, but there were no genitalia in those drawings. I drew Frank of Arlesdale looking grossed out by (I don't know what the part is named in English, but it is connected to the brakes of the engine) that stick-like thing on his bufferbeam being wet from whatever the confessor did to him. I drew an over-exaggerated comical pic of a horrified Peter Sam getting his face licked by his driver, who had an enormous tongue. I also did a couple of manips. Mostly maniping engine faces on humans, like the one where Gordon's face is on a less than fit guy flailing his shirt around, and the Arlesdale smallies' faces on a movie poster from Magic Mike. One with Mr.Conductor in a giant bun while Pinchy is applying ketchup on him, for a confession about eating him, I think? I've done some more, but I forgot what it was, I only know I loved making them comical rather than erotic, as I saw the blog as a joke overall.

I HAVE also drawn aheago faces on engines because it looks hilarious. Though I have only drawn them on my OCs and the NRS engines, not TTTE characters.

Point is I have never drawn genitalia on trains. Ever. And I likely never will. It's not THAT much fun drawing NSFW stuff.

I see from this screenshot that a certain MK-Instrumentalist claim that all my personal art is age-regression art and infantilism…

Whose art have you been looking at? Because it's definitely not mine. I have drawn a couple of baby/chibi diesels… But claiming that all of my 700 or so artworks are depicting infantilism and age-regression stuff? I suggest people go have a look for themselves. I haven't drawn that. That MK-guy has been desperately trying to cancel me for ages for reasons only himself know. I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me, yet he wants to see me beheaded. Go figure.

I was for a long time bothered by some age-regressor on Tumblr who just wouldn't leave me alone with their weird asks, who tried to force themselves on me and some other artists here. They claim age-regression isn't a fetish, but the shit they sent to my askbox certainly looked like a fetish to me.

I don't want anything to do with that stuff. It weirds me out.

And no. I have never drawn pedophilia or rape art either. This guy can't even make up his mind on which one to accuse me of.

7 and 8. Faking suicide and having the audacity to survive and go on living.

As many know, after the intense shitstorm against me last summer, thanks to Darin, I attempted suicide. I didn't succeed as my husband came home early. I was gone for a few days but returned when a young boy reached out to me for help as he was being groomed and didn't know who else to turn to.

Recently I saw a screenshot where someone claimed me to have faked suicide, and that I just came back after a few days when everything had died down.

Wow.

I am truly sorry I survived.

I don't remember much from those days to be honest, but as the load became too heavy and the bullying too intense, piling up on 30 years of old trauma… I decided to end it. I must warn you guys who might get triggered now; there are detailed descriptions of a suicide attempt. Proceed with caution. People told me I was a bad mother among other things, having had those same thoughts myself (according to my husband, I am a good mom) and people just confirming them, I thought that my daughter would be better off growing up without me. I could have chosen a more effective suicide method, but I was afraid my daughter would be the first to find me, so I wanted it to be clean and look like I was just sleeping. That way it could be explained as natural causes.

So, I decided to overdose on pills. I downed all pills I could find in the house that had a warning triangle on it (strong pain meds etc.) and then went to my computer to delete my online existence, especially the personal data.

As a former paramedic, I should have known better. Because after half an hour, my body started reacting. But not the way I had hoped and wanted. I started retching and almost vomiting. That's when my husband came home from work and found me. He immediately saw the empty packages and knowing my past suicidal tendencies, he reacted instinctively. He put his fingers down my throat and had me puke everything up, then he called an ambulance and had me admitted to the hospital.

I don't remember anything from the days I spent there. But I have been told they emptied my stomach and gave me lots of fluids. I was then assigned a psychiatrist which I am still seeing today.

I was gone for those days because I was in hospital, not because I was pulling some kind of trick and pretending to have ended myself.

So… I am sorry I "faked" my suicide.

I'm sorry my husband saved me. I am sorry the medics and doctors succeeded in saving my life.

I am sorry I survived and proceeded to live on. If I ever make another attempt, I promise to do better.

Why are you guys so persistent in trying to push people to suicide anyway? Do you get a kick out of it? Why do people have to be pushed to that point before you care?

What did we tell our daughter? Simply that I got sick and had to go to the hospital. She took that well.

I've seen a lot of people wonder why I am still around. Why shouldn't I? Does my daughter deserve to lose her mother over some online crap she doesn't even know about? I owe her to live and watch her grow up, to help her with her homework and whatever else a parent needs to do. I also owe my husband to stay by his side, like I promised him the day we got married. Even if I do not wish to live.

I'm sorry I survived, guys. Really, I am.

9. "Making up" my past trauma to justify writing fics to cope with it. And 1. The Stepney fic and glorifying rape.

First… why would anyone make up trauma? It's not like it's a competition to have the worst life, is it?

Sadly, I don't have to make up anything. My life HAS been rocky up until the birth of my daughter. I have been through so much trauma I couldn't even fathom it myself before my therapist listed it all up to me. Until then, I had just been casually talking to her about it, like I would talk about the weather. I didn't cry or get in touch with my emotions even once while telling everything, because I was taught from an early age to never complain, to suck it up and go on. So, no matter what people did to me, I would just smile and go on, even if it killed me inside. I did not want to show any sign of weakness, because then they would attack me. A habit I developed through years of being bullied in school. Never show feelings, just pretend nothing could hurt you, then they would eventually grow tired of it and stop.

Except they never did. They kept going through all my years at school. To such an extent, my boyfriend didn't dare to show himself hanging out with me out of fear of being bullied himself… And as we grew older, he would start cheating on me too. And I kept smiling…

My next boyfriend was a bit older than me, and while that didn't bother me, as we were both well over legal age, it bothered him. We only lasted one year before he bailed out and ditched me out of the blue via an sms.

The next guy… was the one who scarred me for life. Both physically and mentally. A charmer at first of course, until I was trapped. He was unemployed, so he moved in with me, and I paid for everything from food to phone bills. All while he was dating several women behind my back, calling various pay-phone services and in general acted like a manwhore. As I worked as an electrician (also being subject to massive bullying and sexual harassment at work), he would be jealous of all my co-workers and if I ever came home late or worked overtime, he accused me of cheating and was extremely violent about it. He would also isolate me from my friends and family, making me think I couldn't get any other than him. If any of my male friends (almost all my friends are male…) came over, he would give me such hell afterwards, it was easier just to tell them it was a bad time to visit. And after a while, they stopped asking. This guy also demanded sex. Every single day. If I refused, he would punish me, mostly by flogging me with lampcords, belts or whatever else he had at hand. My back is a criss cross map of old, faded scars even now nearly 20 years later. I would have shown you a photo, but I am so self-concious about my body after all the bullying, I hardly even show my face in photos. Maybe one day… but I certainly need more therapy before being able to show naked skin to strangers, even if it's just my back. So I had non-consensual sex with him more often than consensual. It has taken me hours in therapy to even take the word in my mouth and call it by its proper name: rape. I was raped, almost every single day for little over a year, before I found the strength to break out of the relationship and finally throw him out of my house. It all ended when I found some revealing texts on his cellphone, which he was extremely protective of… Texts that revealed that he had engaged in a relationship with a 12 year old girl, and it had been going on for a while. Not only was he cheating on me, but he was a pedophile too. Needless to say, I didn't even let him pack his stuff before I fetched my shotgun and chased him out of the house. I don't know where I got the courage and strength from… but I was furious.

I thought I had gotten rid of him, but no. He started stalking me in public. Hiding behind shelves when I was shopping, his car following mine everywhere I went. I received weird letters in the mail with cut-out letters from newspapers, glued together. On top of all, his creepy, old uncle called me with some rather disgusting suggestions and tried to come on to me really hard. I had to change my phone number, and after coming home to my house and finding out someone had entered my home using a key, only to empty the drawer of my night table, I also had to change the locks of my doors as he had clearly copied the key.

He didn't stop until I got the police involved.

So, when I finally met the guy who would become my husband (or rather, we found out we were made for each other, we had known each other since we were 11 years old), I had major trust issues towards men especially and it took him endless patience and love to break me out of that shell.

But the trauma doesn't stop… or start there.

In the year 2000, on January 4th, I would experience something that made me unable to even look at a train for over 10 years. The Åsta accident (google it). I was a volunteer in the Norwegian Red Cross then, and a paramedic in training. Back then, you were allowed to start training the year you would turn 16. So, I was still 15 when I witnessed the most traumatic event of my life. The day started out calm, we were stocking up the ambulance after delivering a patient to the hospital when we got a call with the code "500", which means "catastrophe". Normally when we get that code it is a rehearsal… so we drove towards the coordinates with the thoughts that this was just an exercise, nothing real… we didn't prepare ourselves mentally… And we ended up in the closest thing to hell I have ever been… The sight of the burning trains, the smells, the sounds, the screaming… I still wake up by nightmares to this day. Though the moment that haunts me the most is when the screaming stopped… because we all knew why… I don't want to go into details, but 19 people died that day. But we also saved 67 people. I try to hold on to that thought. The age limit for starting paramedic training was raised after this, as I wasn't the only one who was too young for an accident of that scale. Today it is 18. A memorial stone has been placed on the site, but I still haven't been able to bring myself to visit it, even if we drive past the site every year on our way to visit family further north in the country. I needed hours of therapy to even be able to ride a train after this. To have gotten to the point where I now volunteer at a heritage railway and is in training to become a driver, is a HUGE step for me. My next goal is to visit the site of the accident.

On to next trauma… A previous employer, a rather large electric company in Norway, whom I worked for 8 years. The first five years were great, we were a close-knit bunch of electricians, and we had a great relationship with the bosses and higher-ups. Our labor union was strong.

It all started changing in 2009 when we got new leaders… and those decided to get rid of everyone who were a member of the union. One by one, they started harassing workers in various ways, trying to get them to quit. In Norway, they need a legal reason to fire you, it's not enough to not like someone. There has to be a good reason to fire someone e.g. theft, neglecting work… Since they didn't have any reasons to fire us, they started making our work lives gradually harder and harder until we would break and find another job. Sadly, one of my co-workers couldn't stand the pressure… He bid us all farewell as normal one Friday and hung himself the following day.. But as I was a girl in a male-dominated profession, I had been taught at an early stage to ignore anything that would hurt me emotionally, just arch my neck and plow through. I kept doing that, despite starting to feel more and more mental and physical pains… even my co-workers pointed out how I was being mistreated before I acknowledged it myself. I tried to tell my boss, but he reacted by treating me worse. So, I went to his boss… and that's when things went to hell. Instead of doing his job and listen, he started harassing me too. He deemed my over-weight a problem, and he started demanding I gave him detailed lists of what I ate and how much I worked out… Completely illegal of course, but by this point I was broken down to the point I thought I was useless and couldn't get another job… so I accepted. He started accusing me of lying about my exercise, so I started training at the gym in the basement at work instead. One day, while I was there, he locked the doors and turned the lights off. There were no windows, no cellphone reception and hardly anyone walking by in that part of the building… I sat there in the pitch dark for 3 hours before I was let back out. I still get badly triggered by narrow, dark rooms and rooms with no windows. To such an extent, I jumped out of a small window on the second floor of a gym when I was in boot camp. I was allowed to train downstairs in the bigger gym with windows on all walls after that incident…

The harassment at work went on for years until I finally snapped, ended up at the hospital and got into therapy for the first time. I don't want to go into depth about what more happened, I just can't… I can't bring myself to write it all. Luckily, I had gotten more education while working, so when I graduated, another company called and gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So, I quit my job and never looked back, even if the traumas I suffered there still haunts me to this day.

Sadly, even after switching jobs, now getting a safe job with sane leaders… I started to relax, and that's when all my past trauma came washing over me. And one day, on while driving to work, I had my first serious panic attack. It started as this feeling I used to have at the old company; getting sick to my stomach and having the sense of someone being out to get me… then it developed to breathing problems… and I had to pull the car over. I broke into tears, struggling to breathe, stumbling out of the car to read the logo on its side just to reassure my body and brain that I worked for a different company now and there was no reason for panic. I called my boss and let him know, because he also was a "refugee" from that other company, so he knew what me and several others had gone through. He managed to talk me down enough for me to come to the office to talk to him. That helped.

I got back into therapy. A better therapist this time. But sadly, it got apparent that I could no longer work as an electrician as there was too many triggers. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, and social anxiety. I'm still working on these and get better slowly.

I have been in therapy for a long time now, and it was my therapist that suggested I wrote fics to cope and "write it out". I tried to make up my own characters for this, but never felt any connection. I was by this time in the TTTE fandom and had met people with similar trauma and pasts like myself, and I started roleplaying with some of them. Me and a girl from UK then agreed to try to rp/co-write a fic to cope with our trauma. We both found it easier to write about pre-established characters we had a connection to, even if it was an au that made it barely recognizable from the original source material. Only the names and some minor things were similar.

That fic was Stepney's Virginity Gets Lost.

Do we regret writing it? No. It helped us write out our traumas and helped us overcome some mental obstacles in out therapy process. Our therapists cheering us on, because we finally managed to break through the hard shell surrounding us. We both cried for the first time in years while writing it, some of it through roleplay, because some parts were extremely graphic and brutal and very mentally exhausting. We had to take long breaks between each writing session, so the fic wasn't written in just a weekend. But we got a lot of darkness out of our minds by writing all this. And we were definitely NOT aroused by it, like this pervert here claims.

It's when you dare to touch and feel the difficult and dark emotions, you can finally move along in the grieving process.

Should it have been posted online?

In retrospect, no. But at the time, we thought it might help other trauma victims, as we also found reading about other people's experiences and fictions touching painful subjects helpful to ourselves. So, we posted it, never expecting it to cause such a controversy 3 years later. In fact, we had more or less forgotten about it until it came back to bit us in the ass. Or rather, bite ME in the ass, as I am getting the full blame alone.

Also, despite what people claim, it was not posted openly for children to read. It was tagged properly and hidden behind mature content walls. If a minor chooses to break that wall, that's not the author's fault. It's the same as watching a movie with an age restriction way above your age, not the filmmaker's fault.

I think MerciResolution puts it nicely here:

"If your problem lies with you KNOWINGLY entering adult spaces when you’re a minor, ignoring all mature warnings that are literally SCREAMING at you “hey, this is what you’re getting into. Are you sure you want to proceed?”

That’s ENTIRELY on you. YOU are the fucking problem.

We’re marking mature things as best as we properly can. If you decide to ignore them, that’s your own damn fault. We’re not your fucking babysitters."

Also, I never posted the story on Wattpad, so if anyone has done that, it's not me. I posted the story on Fanfiction.net, DeviantArt and AO3, that's all. If it's posted anywhere else, it's not done by me.

I had honestly moved on from it when people pulled me back into it.

Other people who have done questionable shit in that fandom are easily forgiven because "they have moved on" or "changed". Yet, nobody believes I can move on or change…?

I had moved on; my interests had changed. But people won't let me, so here I am… Having to defend some crap I did years ago. A fic I no longer have any interest in.

I'm not even interested in TTTE anymore. I have moved on with my own book project now and I would like to focus on that.

So, deleting my TTTE content, whether it was the SFW or NSFW stuff, didn't cost me a penny. It actually felt like a relief. The only downside with it is that people now can't read it and make up their own opinion about it, but will solely believe in what others say, and those things are often seriously bent out of shape and blown out of proportions to such an extent it's barely recognizable.

If people claim that Arry and Bert rape Stepney in the fic, they have never seen it or read it. That's not what happens. That's just an assumption made by looking at the title and knowing there is a rape/torture scene in it. But I'm not gonna tell who the victim is or who performed it, because this is the only way I am able to tell who has actually read the fic or not, who is just trying to spread bullshit and who is actually telling the truth. The person in that screenshot, has no idea what he's talking about.

Does SVGL romanticize rape and abuse?

No, not in the least. It's described as the horrible, heinous acts it is and is in no way meant to be cute or romantic and definitely NOT something anyone should get off to. If anyone finds it sexy, that's their problem, not the authors'. If anything, SVGL might romanticize suicide, because one of the characters isn't able to cope with his trauma and chooses to end their life. Which is something I considered doing myself when I was in the darkest pit of depression. So, I apologize for maybe romanticizing suicide. The following chapters describe how friends and family handle the loss and grief.

It also describes a toxic relationship, where one of the parts struggles to get out of it. They eventually manage to break free, but it is not easy. This can easily be translated to my previously mentioned relationship, as it was my way of writing out my experience about how hard it is to break out of a relation when your partner has broken you down to the point where you no longer believe in yourself and your self-worth.

The last chapters start to gradually become brighter, as both our lives started getting better too. But we never really wrote the end because we both lost interest in writing TTTE content by that time and just left it hanging.

I'm not the only one who has written NSFW TTTE fanfics out there. But it seems like violence and murder is more acceptable than sexual things? I do wonder how brutally mutilating children's show characters are more tolerable than sexually abusing them. Neither should be okay.

Some content creators hide behind "it was a joke". I have been told that such topics that SVGL touches upon shouldn't be joked about… so I didn't do that, and yet it was wrong? So how should such topics be treated? Be hidden like it's a shame, like in the old days when rape victims were told to suck things up and keep it to themselves? When those subject to abuse didn't dare to speak up because people would judge them?

I think it is important to talk about these subjects and why they are so problematic. Victims shouldn't have to hide their trauma; they should be allowed to talk openly about it without fearing judgement.

Some of you claim that writing isn't a good way to cope… You're trying to dictate how trauma victims deal with their trauma, and that's a dangerous path to walk down. Nobody handles trauma the same way. You might have your thoughts on how you would react, but you'll never know until trauma hits you… and you might not react the way you had expected or planned. Trauma messes with your head and you won't be able to think clearly. It makes you do thinks you normally wouldn't have done and can make you act out of character. So, do not judge people without having been in the same situation yourself. Ever.

Someone wrote that I have "more problems that just a rape".

Read that again.

Just a rape.

This person does not know how damaging a rape can be. And if you made it this far in this post, you know I didn't only go through one, but several. Not just by my ex, but also being ambushed while I was walking home from a party, and later; a co-worker forcing himself onto me at a building site. I can't go into depth about them all, I just can't.

Just a rape…

"Just" the feeling of not being in control of your own body and your own decisions. "Just" being robbed off your dignity and self-worth. "Just" having someone intrude into your private zone, tear your clothes off and claim your body against your will. "Just" feeling how your life force leave you as you realize that fighting against it won't help you, and you silently give up and just lay down waiting for it all to be over. "Just" spending hours in the shower, scrubbing your skin until you bleed because you can't wash the filth away and you keep feeling dirty no matter how much you clean yourself. "Just" waking up at night, after having relived the scene again in a nightmare. "Just" looking over your shoulder wherever you walk because you heard something or thought you saw something or simply because someone is walking behind you. "Just" the fact that you'll never feel comfortable walking alone at night again or have someone walk behind you. "Just" never being able to relax because your body constantly think you're in grave danger. "Just" a rape…

That's such a neck-beard thing to say. Someone who clearly think of other people's bodies as property or things. Not taking into consideration that we are living, breathing individuals with feelings. And that having another person violate us isn't something we like or that we'll easily get over. We want to choose who we give ourselves to, nobody should be forced. We didn't ask to be raped. We didn't want it. We didn't like it.

Rape is trauma.

Yes, we should have chosen other characters for the story, but we did what we did, and it cannot be undone now. So, if the only thing I will be remembered for in the fandom is that ONE fic, instead of all my other content, that's what it will be. That's what people chose to. I'm moving on.

10. Being a nazi for being interested in WW2 history and for being Norwegian and having so-called nazi-letters in my last name (actual letters of the Norwegian alphabet).

*sigh*

This is something that could only happen in America, isn't it?

Some people don't bother educating themselves. The "nazi-letters" you guys are talking about is actually part of the Norwegian alphabet and has nothing to do with Nazism or white-supremacy to do at all. The Norwegian alphabet has 29 letters, the three extra is æ,ø,å or in capital letters: Æ,Ø,Å.

We can't help it if some morons over in the US abuse these letters as symbol of their twisted mindset.

Yes, my name contains one of those letters. It is my name… and I didn't choose it. It is a common Norwegian name.

As for me being a Nazi?

Those who knows me knows that I am as far from a Nazi as one can get. I despise Nazism with all my heart.

But the reason some people choose to believe so… was that some guy who has no hobbies or life went through every single fave I've made on DeviantArt since I joined the site in 2006, which is well over 20000 faves. And he found a few Nazi-characters from a web series I was following about ten years ago. I am very interested in history and especially WW2-history, so I found that particular web-series interesting and faved some artwork related to it. What this guy failed to notice is that I also faved the Allied characters… That's ALL there is to that story.

I has also faved a pic someone made of Joseph Goebbels (I think it was?) as a Pixar Car. That's not because I have any nazi-sympathies, but I simply found the concept of turning historical persons, both good and bad, into Cars as an interesting project. I would have faved any other historical Carsified person as well.

As for me being a Norwegian and have a natural pale complexion, that's not something I can help. That's nothing I choose. And it doesn't make me racist or Nazi. Period.

11. Putting a white-supremacist flag (the actual flag of Norway) on my porch on family birthdays and our national day.

Again. Get educated.

This flag… is the actual flag of my country. The Kingdom of Norway.

There is nothing Nazi about it. It is not a symbol of white-supremacy. IT IS THE FLAG OF NORWAY.

During WW2 it was even illegal, so people would paint it everywhere in a protest against the Nazi-occpation and the SS. We even decorated our Christmas trees with it, and that is a tradition that has followed us into the modern day.

Again, if some idiots in the US choose to use it as a symbol for their disgusting logic, it is not Norway or the Norwegians' fault.

12. Being a danger to my daughter.

I need people to elaborate here.

What exactly do you think I do to my daughter? What is the cause of your concern here?

The fact that I have made NSFW content? How is that harmful to her as long as I keep it away from her? You DO realize that even authors, pornstars and moviemakers have children and that they can be good parents, right?

Do you think I read pornographic content for her as bedtime stories? Or show her porn instead of kids TV? How sick are you guys, really…?

Some people even wanted CPS to take my child away from me… Have a look at these screenshots…

You want a happy, healthy, innocent child to be taken away from a stable, safe home with loving parents just because you don't like the content the mother made? You want her to be placed in foster care, where there is no guarantee that she will have a happy upbringing rather than have her stay with her parents who love her and care for her, for reasons she'll never understand and wasn't even aware of?

"Think of the children!" a lot of you say when it comes to my content. May I ask why this doesn't apply to my daughter?

Why do some of you go as far as to wishing her dead or wanting her to be removed from the home she feels safe and loved in? How is that thinking of the children?

As for the douchebag in that screenshot. You claim that if your mother did something like that you would want nothing to do with her… I have a question: Do you know EVERYTHING your mother do? Does she include you in each aspect of her life? Even her sexual life? No?

How do you know she doesn't do thing you don't approve of when you're not around? She could be a rabid pornmag reader for all you know. But stuff like that is something adults hide from their kids. So, you wouldn't know, unless you go snooping around in her business.

Everyone is entitled to privacy. What I and my husband do when our kid is not around is our business, not hers, and certainly not yours.

Porn and parenting are to be kept separate from each other. Period.

And we do.

There is absolutely no reason to be worried about my daughter. She is a happy, healthy child in a safe, stable home with family that loves her and cares for her. Not just me and my husband, but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If you want to remove her from that over a stupid fanfic behind a mature content wall, you're the deranged person, not me.

This is all I have to say about all this and my time in the TTTE fandom. I have left by my own, free will. Yes, I am aware that many people don't want me there. That's fine. I don't want to be there.

I am a bit disappointed in those people who just blindly unfollowed me and unfriended me without any questions asked, just followed the leader. Big users tend to dictate who and what is worth following in that fandom. They will even protect real predators, but I'm not going to open that can of worms now. I'm done with the fandom.

Some of those people, I have been talking to regularly, even supported when they faced hardships in the fandom themselves. But when I got in trouble, they ditched me without a word…

If anything, this whole ordeal showed me who to trust and not, and who were true to their word when it came to how deep our friendship was. True friends at least give you the chance to explain before they drop you. I hold no ill feelings to those who did, at least they asked me before judging.

And those who still stayed with me, are the ones who truly know me and who I really am.

Some of the worst libels posted about me might be reported to the police, but I haven't made up my mind yet. I am not mentally strong at the moment, so I don't know if I have the strength to legally follow it all up. I will ask the cops at work for advice on the matter.

All I ask for now is some peace.

You don't have to like me. You don't have to follow me. You don't have to like my content. Feel free to invalidate me, I know a lot of you will.

But please, stop bullying me and my family.

Please stop sending me horrid messages and death threats.

Please stop doxxing me and calling me.

Please leave my family alone. If you don't care about me, at least care about them.

Please just ignore me. I have already left the fandom, there is no reason to keep hunting me.

I just want to move on and go on with my life and the content I am currently working on. After years in therapy, my life has gotten better, and I want to move on.

Please let me.

#good bye to ttte #tw//suicide #tw//rape #tw// bullying #tw//depression #tw//ptsd #tw//ttte #tw//sex #tw//abuse #tw//domestic abuse #I'm done

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ttte-magical-girl-au · 3 years

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Rosie Gets A Gun - TTTE Magical Girl AU

Characters: TTTE Rosie, TTTE Lady

Content Warnings: Death of a fantasy creature, gun usage

High in the skies above, dying leaves and scattered in the strong breeze, all while rain came down from the heavens with fury and ferocity. The skies were grey and full of rumbling, murmuring thunder, and the railway had come to a standstill due to the inclement weather. With wet leaves on the tracks, strong winds, and fogs rolling in from sea, it simply was unsafe to resume work on the railroad.

This left Rosie with nothing to do as she waited for the weather to improve. Her coworkers had offered to let her join them for tea, but the tea was quite bitter and their conversations were quite dry. Dry, much like watching paint dry.

Umbrella in hand, Rosie wandered about outside, trying to find something of interest. Perhaps she’d help some worms on the concrete back into the dirt, or perhaps she’d find a shiny rock among the flowing dirt and muck. But she found a basement door in the back of the sheds, leading into unspoken depths. It wasn’t there the day before, or the day before that, or any day Rosie could recall. Curiously, she reached for the handle and opened it, then descended down the steps into the dark.

Rosie expected the stairs to only take her a few feet deep, but it seemed as if she endlessly walked down the steps in the dark. She turned around to return to the surface, but the steps she had just stepped on had vanished without a trace, leaving her in an underground night.

So, she did the only thing she could think of. Scream for help.

“Jeez, can’t a goddess get some sleep around here?” a tired voice echoed, followed by a hand clap, illuminating the area. Rather than some dark, cramped room full of rainwater dripping from the ceiling, the room was built of marble, with corinthian columns that stretched to a blue sky.

Rosie turned around to see the speaker with a stumble, her umbrella clattering to the floor.

She was a beautiful woman, with long brownish-gold hair that floated in the air and a burgundy dress and crown. Her skin was inhumanly grey, and her sleepy voice was soft. “Ah, don’t tell me I left the door open…” she said with a sigh and rubbed her temples.

“Where even is this? Who even are you?” Rosie asked sharply, picking up her umbrella and gripping it tight like a lance.

The woman looked down at her and seemed disappointed with herself. Probably for leaving the door open. “Call me Lady, Goddess of All Good on the Railway. This is my unearthly domain or whatever.”

Rosie opened her mouth to speak, but Lady cut her off.

“No, you’re not dead. No, you’re not seeing things,” she said, counting off her fingers exactly what questions had to be answered before they were even spoken. “Yes, I genuinely didn’t expect this, because no, I’m not omnipotent or whatever.”

“Can you do cool stuff?”

Lady giggled, soft and sweet. “Yeah, check this out,” she said. With the wave of her hand, a map appeared on the floor between her and Rosie. She knelt down and beckoned for Rosie to join her as she scrolled through the interactive map.

“This doesn’t seem very cool,” Rosie joked, moving beside her to look at the map.

“Oh, hush.” Lady laughed yet again, but soon silenced as the map flashed red and forcibly moved over to depict a lighthouse on the rocky shores of Sodor. The fog had rolled in, heavy like a wet, woolen blanket, and the light had fizzled out. “This can’t be good…”

“Some poor boat might hit the rocks…” Rosie murmured. She turned to Lady with a panicked look in her eyes. “You’re a goddess, can’t you fix it?”

Lady sighed. “No can do.”

“You’re not a very good goddess.”

The goddess scowled, looking away from her human companion. “I can’t meddle with the work of other gods. This event’s magical. Otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten the alert…”

“Then let me meddle!”

Lady looked back at Rosie with a raised eyebrow.

“Then let me meddle,” Rosie said again, a determined look in her eyes. “Something really bad could happen if someone doesn’t step in!”

Lady hesitated for a moment, but within moments, a glowing sphere manifested in front of Rosie. Likely Lady’s doing. “Take whatever’s in there and I’ll send you out there. You’ll get there faster than my girls too…”

Rosie reached into the sphere and pulled out a gun. A literal gun. As she looked it over with curiosity, she found herself tumbling down a grassy, foggy hill near the lighthouse.

“Okay, what’d you get?” Lady’s voice echoed in Rosie’s mind.

“Oh, uh, a gun!” Rosie stood up and brushed the mud off of herself. In the fog, she could only see the faint outline of the lighthouse ahead, and she carefully made her way over.

Lady laughed. “I totally meant to give you that. If you don’t die here, you can keep it.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

It probably wasn’t nothing, but Rosie continued onwards, approaching the lighthouse one step at a time. The wind grew stronger and stronger the closer she got, with thunder and lightning roaring and flashing overhead. She didn’t care, however; whatever magical being was keeping the light off had to be stopped.

Finally, she reached the door and pulled herself inside to the safety of the lighthouse. Or, at least, the shelter from the elements. “Do you even know what put the light out?” she asked Lady.

“My sources are telling me...hm…” Lady hummed to herself as she began to evaluate the area before reporting back to Rosie. “Amphiptere wrapped around the light.”

Rosie blinked. “The fuck is that?”

“Amphipteres are wingless dragons. This one in particular has control over weather,” Lady said.

“You could have just...said that, y’know?” Rosie grumbled. She ascended the staircase towards the service room and main gallery.

Lady huffed.

Rosie opened the hatch door to the giant lightbulb, only to see the hulking mass of the amphiptere writhing and wriggling around it, blocking out the light. It howled like thunder and leaked fog from its mouth. Its scales were as sharp as lightning.

Rosie took a breath, pointed her gun at the beast, and fired one, two, three, four, five, five times. The first through fourth bullets simply littered the scaly skin of the legless dragon, but the fifth pierced the eye and drove right through the brain, killing it in a blast of water vapor.

The light from the bulb was free at last and blinding, and Rosie retreated back into the service room to rest her weary eyes.

“Yay, you did it!” Rosie could hear Lady’s faint clapping in her head. “Oh, the rest of my girls are here too! Rosie--”

“--I didn’t tell you my name--”

“--I know many things,” Lady said with a knowing tone. “But tell me, how’d you like to do this more often?”

#magical girl AU #ttte rosie #ttte lady #our writing #rosie gets a gun #ttte #thomas the tank engine

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moonflower-pies · 3 years

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TTTE Oc’s

This is my TTTE (Thomas the Tank Engine) Oc, Shaina.

Please don't judge me. I know I'm 17, but I can do what I want

She is a 5′ 7″, 20 year old transgender woman, and I took inspiration from Vivziepop’s character, Sallie May. He prefers to use they/them pronouns.

She’s a GER class P43, and he works on the Mainland. She sometimes comes over to Sodor to help with goods trains.

She’s pansexual, and currently single (he has a crush on Neville, but prefers to keep her true feelings to himself).

Best friend is Molly.

Favorite type of music is heavy metal and the likes.

Really good at playing the guitar.

Favorite food is chocolate cake.

Voice Headcanon is Venus Terzo (the voice of Breezie from The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog and Blackarachnia from Transformers: Beast Wars).

Is actually really overprotective of Neville.

They love horror movies.

----------------------

This is Roger. He looks like he doesn’t get much sleep, and he drinks coffee a lot as well. Coffee to him is how alcohol is to some people.

He’s a 6′ 0″, 30 year old man and uses he/him pronouns. There’s not really any inspiration behind him.

(Haven’t figured out what type of train he is), and works in the same yard on the Mainland that Shaina does. He was put in charge by the controller, and he takes the job very seriously.

Despite that, he’s nice (not too often, but still), and will (kinda) help anyone out.

He’s asexual, and single.

Drinks lots of coffee.

Voice Headcanon is Christopher Wehkamp, who does the dub voice of Aizawa from the anime BNHA/MHA.

Actually loves soap operas (Some people are quite surprised when they find this out).

Favorite food is Tempura.

He has friends, but not best friends

----------------------

Here’s Charlotte!

Charlotte is the youngest one working in the same yard as Roger and Shaina, as well as with the triplets Abby, Aldwin and Aristotle. She’s a tank engine like Thomas.

She’s 4′ 10″, 17 years old, and uses she/her pronouns. I took inspiration from Mako Mankanshoku from Kill la Kill.

She’s very eccentric and energetic. Why she looks like a general, no one really knows. Probably from watching too many war movies. And why does anyone let her watch those movies? Mainly because Shaina lets her, despite Roger’s warnings.

She’s heterosexual and single.

Favorite food is pizza.

Voice Headcanon is Lindsay Jones, who voices Ruby Rose from the anime RWBY.

Loves watching war movies with Shaina.

Best friend is Aldwin.

----------------------

This is Abby, the youngest one of the triplets.

She has a bad scar across one of her eyes, so she wears a rose-like eyepatch over it.

She’s the same age as Charlotte (17 years), 5′ 1″ and uses she/her pronouns. No inspiration behind her except Egyptian dancers.

She’s very shy, and not very talkative. She prefers to talk to strangers through a small notebook that she carries with her. She only actually talks with specific people (those being Shaina, Charlotte, Roger and her brothers).

She’s a saddle tank, just like her siblings.

Voice Headcanon is Christine Marie Cabanos, who voices Madoka Kaname in the anime Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

Favorite food is chocolate chip cookies.

Loves jazz music as much as her siblings do.

#ttte oc #ttte #oc

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peeppeephellofatface · 7 years

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AS much as I DO NOT WANT to think about him any more and get sucked down the ttte rabbit hole again, dammit, I’m remembering why I liked Henry so much. He’s an intriguing character, even if I never felt confident in how I portrayed him since he’s been so all over the place in canon and nobody can fucking agree on how to characterize him. And also because of the way I imagined his body shape. Sturdy but bottom-heavy with fairly firm arms and chest but a fat butt and thighs and very soft around the middle, more just really doughy and malleable than plump and rounded. He’d be the sort of guy who doesn’t look as visibly chubby with clothes on, but you can tell if his shirt slips up or accidentally bump into him. On top of that I imagine he has a pretty thin/flat face to make his proportions even odder (though still pretty Black 5-ish since his shape is based on their tapered boiler).

Also arrrg I keep thinking about him eating a bit too much and totally regretting it and cursing himself for doing so and trying to hide under a pillow or something so nobody can see how foolish he looks. Maybe Emily convinces him to cut it out and let her rub his tummy if it hurts enough. Of course, even when he’s bloated it’s still really soft on top and she probably thinks that adorable but he probably finds it embarrassing aaaah

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