#like yeah get w the program

[chryblossomjjk]

i keep gettin degrees to procrastinate :3

#my school has an accelerated nursing program for graduate students #so u can get ur bachelors in 17 months #and i really think that’s my calling #so im going to apply to that #i feel like a whole loser bc ill be 24 w a degree that im not using #trying to get a new one lol but yeah #it’s going to be fucking tough but #i think i got it #idk #confused n scared n sad n lonely n anxious n all the things

[callmepippin]

Partner bought an ipad, figured i'd do a sketch to try the drawing program, ended up quite liking the result

#took a quick photo of myself for the ref #and you can almost exactly tell where that photo cut off (abt halfway through my ear)(ie where everything gets vague) #but yeah quite like getting back into drawing a bit #lots to learn and improve (also lots to learn w the program) but i enjoyed doing this and like the result #also this is the closest thing to a selfie ive posted in months lmao #it me

[silenthillbunni]

🚬🧸🧃🎀

#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance #so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life #and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future #so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D #what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk) #i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it #i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months #then i'll start my other 4 classes in january #i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery) #(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..) #also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt #if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may #if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless #i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university???? #i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education #bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it #also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move #i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!! #but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try #i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?

[gworlinterrupted]

the last push i needed to realize i wanna change my major is the prof walking into my social determinants of health class and going omg i havent seen most of you since covid its so nice to see ur smiling faces without the masks

#ma'am u have a doctorate in epidemiology #obvs a lot more going into this decision but like. im so fucking ready to get a degree in ANYTHING and get out as painlessly as possible #and i have a ton of english credits banked up so i think i can make the switch and still graduate on time but im meeting w my advisor #tomorrow to check #but yeah im still passionate abt public health but i hate the program at my college its so disorganized #so i might as well get a useless degree in something i enjoy w professors i get along with

[britneyshakespeare]

This might sound silly but the more time goes by the more I miss the pre-streaming era of TV. It was so delightfully simple. Sitcoms slap so much harder when you see the same episodes more than once a week.

#you just have a more intimate relationship w the tv show if it's like a living thing in your house all the time #as opposed to one of a dozen programs available on demand at any given time and watched in sequential order #from beginning to end. #tv that was meant to be watched that way just hits different. the good stuff was made to be lasting #and there still are shows like that around don't get me wrong. like that's how i watch bob's burgers almost every night #i just about never stream that show. and when i do i don't binge it. #the bingewatch model is bad for a lot of reasons we all know that now yeah #tv just used to have a much more enticing and relaxing way about it. it was like a low-maintenance pet #the streaming era is like taking care of a horse #u either feel me on that simile or you don't i guess #tales from diana #have u guys ever taken care of a horse? it's a lot of work is what i'm saying

[xannerz]

honestly used to daydream abt having multiple degrees and being that sorta 🤪lifelong learner🎓 but law school devastated me so much I’m averse to the idea of taking cc classes for funsies now

#you want me to sit in a classroom again I’ll kms LMAO #if I ever do it it’ll just to learn new languages at this point #but I don’t think I have it in me to juggle my family work and an actual ed program at this point in my life #I thought abt applying to a program at UCI before Covid hit bc a friend was having a good exp there #I was like ooo yeah maybe I’ll get a masters or smthn #but after the past few years I’m just v jaded #it’s a me thing but it’s annoying af when you still get nightmares abt law school 4 years later LMAO #I used to be that annoying ass person who’d constantly raise their hand in class and after law school I’m 🦗😐🪦 #I hope my feelings change but idk what good it’ll do for me. I live w regret either way. and debt #xangoeswah

[skunkg1rll]

still cant decide whether i should just fail my eng class or not ://

#personally i dont care #i can fail it it doesnt matter to me #buuuut... im trying to figure out if i can get away w it.. #or if it'll create issues for me #maybe i can fail it nd not say anything #nd only tell her if she brings it up and then i can explain it away #nd then i can fail it and put it out of my mind #and just keep going w my two classes for now #im thinking until the end of summer #then my hopes are to apply for a loan nd finish up my classes on distance #(but i will do it in class if they remove distance classes which they say they will) #and then apply for a program and get an education then a job #i thiiink thats possible #but yeah im mostly worried that if i fail #the school will suspend me from my other classes and my social worker will say that i cant be approved for wellfare skskks #but if that doesnt happen then idc!!! nd im ok w failing this class... #im just worried bc i gotta sit nd ruminate nd see if i can connect all the dots nd figure it out #idk if it can work.... #ughhh sighhhh maybe i can make it work like that #then i dont have to be so fkn stressed rn

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful #did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w #possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting #plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there #my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh! #not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO #i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig #need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn #but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :) #like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends. #even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP #idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus #yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted) #a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay! #im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid. #he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party #and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate #and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :) #and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING #good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT

[waterbearable]

@ prev reblog 100000% agree that it's ridiculous that so many tools for writers are expensive (the fact that the microsoft suite is a fucking subscription based model now still kills me)

but i do recommend obsidian if you're looking for a free notes space you can use for worldbuilding/writing (you'll be writing in markdown if you use it, though), and scrivener if you're willing to pay for one (it's like 60 upfront but it's a one-time purchase, i've found it worth the price and have transitioned most of my creative writing there)

#ari speaks #both scriv+obsidian work by allowing you to create diff projects/vaults and organized folders+subdocuments #i'm not as familiar w obsidian i think so sometimes it gets annoying to order documents correctly? #like it sorts alphabetically or in order of creation. there might be a way to ignore that though #but yeah i honestly love scriv. there was another free scriv-like program that i used to use that i cannot remember the name of though. #might have been made by a german dev?? i don't recall. but you can also search for free scrivener alternatives and they're around

[catboybrain]

sniffles sadly. every day im so sad that fnaf didnt go with placing vanny into aftons role.... god forbid women do anything ! ! !

#just saw gtlive finish the first ending n like. urgh #maybe if i liked eclipse more i wouldnt mind how prevalent they r but woof man #like i get it its charlie and evil baby or whatever in the same body but come onnnnn #that and the candy cadet stories just bashing the same kid going into woods framework into the ground #i miss when it was like. this dude sewed 5 kittens together! this lady melted 7 keys! stuff like that yk that was different and scarier #i do rlly think the series is going toward this like polished marketable thing instead of the grimy sludge i liked .... </3 and the AI stuf #is sooooo boring like fuuuuck its so boring. i wouldnt mind if its charliebots bc at least theyre interesting !!!! #but mimic as the new villian? bro. dude. thats so boring come on... afton was interesting bc he was fucked up severly #and robots r just like. theyre just robots dude its not even scary its just a thing being programmed smh #without the afton behind it its kinda just ..... bleh #honestly i wish they would cap the story? like make vanny take aftons role; do some shit; end it in a tragic but cathartic way #and then if they want to make more games do either other families in universe (like fazbear frights) or prequels/ world building shit like #something set in circus babys pizza world or w/e .i mean you could argue its about cassie now but if her dad is bonnie bro we're still stuc #in the afton central place. and i dont like that hteyre moving on without wrapping up the 102938120 loose ends they already made URGH ! ! #is it too much to ask for a fnaf game thats crusty round the edges and really metaphorical for theorists to dig into but logical enough it #can be solved and also creates a good plotline . yeah i guess hell will freeze over before that #d.txt #sorry im sooooo normal about fnaf <- is abnormal. fuhnaffs theories r GREAT thoguh i love that guy he makes me happy about the franchise :o

[reginaofdoctorwho]

trying very very hard to not want to break up with my boyfriend

#i love him so much #and i know he loves me #but my anxiety or depression or both or whatever it is is fucking me up again #and i don't want it to fuck him up too #i can't talk about it with him because yeah he already knows i have problems with it #and he's told me before to tell him if it starts getting bad again #but also his ex would do that shit to guilt him into not breaking up w her #(like sh-ing and showing him after as a guilt trip thing) #and his grandpa shot himself and he was really fucked up by it #and like i don't think i'm gonna do THAT #but i don't want to bring those memories up for him #i just feel like shit all the time my eating and sleeping is getting affected i'm getting migraines more #i failed out of my college program by 10 points on the final (or 4 on final and 1 on every other test) #i just feel like shit #i already had to fucking ask him to keep a bag of shit i could sh with so that i couldn't get to it #which is gonna be a fucking trip trying to get back #and YES i will eventually need to get it back since half that shit were gifts #and if i break up with him i'll need to get it back before then #like my fucking emotions are getting fucked too #he got covid a couple weeks ago and we had to miss a concert i was looking forward to since september #which is fine he's fine everyone is fine #but i was close to fucking crying and my mom made me go out with her and my brother since she needs help with him sometimes #so i had to fucking numb #which i'd been trying not to do #and today he mentioned that he was hanging out with his friends NYE #he forgot we had plans for NYE to be together #kiss at midnight all that shit #and he was like 'i'm so sorry i thought you were busy i forgot we made plans i can still hang out with you' #but mentioned how he'd have to pick me up and then drive home super late after #zel starts to dwell

[askthesciencesquad]

Your boss seems... I don't know how to put it. But it's very negative.

*Seems outside of one’s paygrade….

[START]

[NEXT]

[PREVIOUS]

[INDEX]

(@bagelthatbitesyou)

#actually managed to get this one done!!! #still pretty busy so things a def. gonna be coming out slower than they normally would #I was really excited for this moment actually #more exploration w/ the follower relations to Gaster! #I like thinking about it #I hope none of the lines came out to clunky #the drawing program I use is on my phone and I had acrylic nails put on for prom #so um. yeah #it’s a lot harder to draw rn :.) #anyway! #ask the science squad #undertale #tw bold text #tw caps #askblog #gaster #aesop #tw toxic relationship #tw sleep deprivation #ARC TWO #✨throwback✨ #gaster gets scooped tag

[piplupod]

neurodivergent/disordered people get SO angry if you point out that they were ableist 😬 esp if you're pointing out "hey thats shitty towards autistic ppl" when they're autistic themselves, WOOF the vitriol they'll pull out of nowhere is fuckin nasty.

you are not immune to ableism!! you most definitely have some internalized ableism, you are not immune to it !!!

#not to mention if you point out that theyre being ableist towards physically disabled ppl. thats a whole other dogpark LMFAO #like buddy just because you have a disorder doesnt mean you can't be ableist fsdgjkl cmon man get w the program #they act like saying ''i'm autistic.'' absolves them of all responsibility #like yeah me too bitch but we both have the capability of being ableist my guy #oHHhhHH im SOOOO sorry i didnt realize u were autistic pls forgive me ofc you are allowed to be a dickhead then ! :) w no consequences! :) #(sarcasm) #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[pepprs]

I REMEMBERED THE THOUGHT! YIPPEE

#purrs #it was: the mortifying ordeal of being young and less experienced than a lot of people my age let alone all of the people i interact with on #a semi-regular basis. the mortifying ordeal of every human being having depths of their lives and those depths being out of sight unless you #ask for them. the mortifying ordeal of needing to ask but not knowing how because you don’t know what you do mt know because you’ve never #experienced what it’s like to have love and safety and freedom all at once in all areas of your life because you are a late bloomer living #at home and have to spend every day resisting to fall into the programming you grew up with and are reinforced by every day bc you live w #the ppl who programmed you. the mortifying ordeal of divulging everything about yourself because nothing is sacred because you don’t know #any better and don’t have anything to share with anyone else like that and you don’t know the consequence of divulging and you don’t know w #what you’re not hearing back. idk. im trying to be all encompassing which means im being nonsensical but i can’t talk abt the context on #here but i wish i could sometimes but im also grateful for the situation that has led me to being unable to do so. I idk what im typing #anymore lol but basically: i am so devastatingly inexperienced and young and detached from humanity bc of the youth and inexperience and it #is so embarrassing and suffocating. i am living in a quicksand pit and it is not how people are supposed to live #delete later #im grateful to be young i don’t want to wish my youth away. but god. i am tired of being less than a human. i want a place to live i want a #partner to create a life full of love with i want every object and space around me to be neat and clean and full of memories and meaning. an #and i have little scraps of that but not enough. half of a bedroom and my dearest friends and it’s not that my friends aren’t enough it’s th #that my mental health and my living situation get in the way of me fully harnessing and internalizing the love and meaning that is in my #life and it is killing me. being a kid or treated like one fucking sucks. i am a full human being and i want to live in fullness. yeah

[the-most-sublime-fool]

I got a job in my field but I had to turn it down because they simply weren't offering enough money. It's beyond insulting to be offered minimum wage when I have a master's degree and relevant work experience.

#i hate it here #they were also like #overtime is expected in this role #fuck that #yeah maybe i'll regret this down the road but i have to at least try to find something better #if i have to give up on working in this industry then so be it. i'm tired. i have rent to pay. i have student loans. #i don't have the option of moving back in with my parents or having my parents pay my bills #which is what all of my friends in my program are doing! literally everyone i know! #this industry is broken & like every 2 weeks theres some new thinkpiece about how to attract minorities to this incredibly white industry #hmmm they just dont seem to be interested what are we supposed to do #PAY THEM. PAY US. #im a white cis immigrant w/o rich parents and that alone is enough to put me at a disadvantage and leave me unable to accept job offers #that simply aren't paying a living wage. #i don't really know what I'm going to do. keep looking i guess. #i'll probably also apply for jobs outside this field. i guess it was stupid to get a degree in it but fuck me i guess #for wanting to do something i love and not predicting massive inflation and skyrocketing rent costs #meanwhile wages in my field have actually gone down ~3% #it's not sustainable. i don't know what to say. #end rant i guess #sorry if you read this

[the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis]

THE EMPLOYMENT JELLY POST FUCKING WORKED OMG

#just did a job interview and #they offered me the job on the spot!!!! #the guy was like 'this is when i'd normally tell you we'd check references and get back to you' #'but i'll be honest i really genuinely enjoyed this conversation and i think you'd be a great fit so i'll offer you the position now' #holy shit!!!! #i'm so excited!!! #AND i found out the job description includes a couple of really cool projects they didn't advertise in the posting #like yes PLEASE i would love to work w/ an indigenous-practices farm that has reclaimed the site of an old residential school! hello?! #that's so cool! #i would love to collaborate with that program! #plus i get a chainsaw certification?! #AND everyone on my work team is queer?! #hell yeah #i'm so fucking happy right now