#lil vent as a treat

[k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl]

I can tell when you look me up and down and silently judge me for dressing fem.

I can tell when you talk to me less while I'm obviously dressed like a girl.

I can tell how much you hate me casually mentioning my being trans.

I can tell how much you wish this had never happened.

Voting against me isn't support.

Jokes about hating anyone like me isn't support.

Saying you support me but not "my ideology" isn't support.

Sometimes I wish you'd just disown me...

#amity's writing #lil vent as a treat #not in the mood for yearn writing today but still needed to write something #hope its not upsetting #kinda sick of it tbh #feel myself slipping

[snaxle]

im just sick of feeling guilty for spending money 😭😭 ..

#og #i wanna save my money so bad but the past year has been really hard on my family. lots of bad shit has been going on #and i just wanted to get stuff to treat everyone so we can have a nice holiday and to show them i love them #but now i have less money in my savings and it makes me really sad </3 #im trying to save my money up to eventually get a car which will allow me to get a better job and be able to move out #although i probably wont be able to move out for another few years bc. everything is so expensive #although my mom is trying really hard to find a job even tho i really dont think she should bc she's sick. but like. we're poor #and it's even sadder bc my younger brother wants to get a job to get some money too and it's like. no please it's fine #we can handle it you don't need to help out we're okay right now #OOF SORRY FOR VENT.. #next year i just really hope i'll be able to like. save my money up a lot which. idk if i can #so to make myself happy i get myself a lil treat here and there otherwise im probably gonna get depressed LOL

[arcaneyouth]

rapidly approaching my 21st birthday is hard and weird but not for any normal reasons thats for sure

#not a vent post im just rambling in the tags #theres 4 main factors at play here. #firstly theres Society n all that telling me 21 is a Special Biethday!!! you'll be old enough to legally do adult things!!! #secondly theres the fact that i love being alive and celebrating it this shit rules like fuck yes i get to keep living hell yes #thirdly theres the fact that i kinda dont actually care. like its chill. ive reached the point where a birthday is a cute lil tradition #i dont gotta go wild with it and dont feel the need to treat it differently than any other day #but also the 4th thing which is 21 is yet another age my doctors told me id never get to see so like this is A Big One #so this is actually hard as hell because fundamentally i dont care that much n dont have strong emotions BUT FUCK DUDE WHAT IF BIG CELEBRAT #constantly sitting here going hehe yayy its my birthday soon cant wait to hang out with my friends and then go back to normal life #while also going I NEED BIG PLANS I NEED HUGE PLANS I NEED A CELEBRATION OFF THE WALLS OH FUCK OH GOD #it doesnt stop being funny. i dont even know what kind of big thing id do anyways #mom said i couldnt go to moterey bay aquarium too much money and that was my only idea #ive been thinking about this for weeks and have come up with 0 other plans #'we gotta do a huge party' ok then come up with one then dumbass #oh noooo guess ill have a nice time at home just like any other day oh nooooo #guess my 21st birthday will be unspecial. darn. anyways

[krushedstars]

today i felt cute for the first time this year and posted some selfies and my moots did not disappointed <3

#wild flowers ୧ ‧₊˚⋅☆ #so many kind words and feedback #i love my mooties <3 #just a lil venty vent dont mind me <3 #I ANOTHER NEWS #already working on another oneshot 👀👀 #u will never guess who. #never. #oh well remember to drink water and treat yourself w kindness <3

[spacechairs]

I think in zines now

#March is weird #like I wanna quit my job to become a house painter for some reason #or just quit my job in general #vent art #cw repeating words #I can be a lil sad. a lil stressed out as a treat

[candyfairylights]

I've been thinking these days about the life I want, the life I deserve, and the things I'm willing to tolerate and all it did was leave me with a buzzing feeling in my brain and a fear of losing people if I dare ask what I want.

The only positive I can find in this whole thing is that, even though my 20s have been kind of tumultuous, they're the only period in my life I remember feeling awake and aware. My dissociation was so bad until I turned 23 and even though I have a lot on my mind now, I finally feel like I am an active participant in my own life.

#sry for the rant #didn't mean to turn this blog into a vent one #just a lil vent #as a treat #thoughts

[tvrningout]

i’ve had it

#ASDFG GET ME OUTTA HERE!! #honestly it’s not really a bad day!! i just feel like i haven’t had a moment when i wasn’t dealing with a customer #and it’s so draining rn bc it’s been mainly me on the floor without help and i understand why #but dude i need a breather 😭 #my coworker just got here and hopefully my break helps me to recharge a bit ahh #sorry to complain!! just needed to vent a lil bit :’ ) #i hope todays treating y’all well!! #get ready to ramble | ooc #tw vent

[chimeric-art]

hope is painful, isn't it?

#i can have a lil vent art. as a treat #rain's shadow can take many forms but broken / shattered wings are big for her #not functional to fly but definitely corporeal enough to be heavy and painful #my art #my characters #rain

[xolaanii]

it really is wild my mom and i will be all doting one minute and absolutely pissed at each other the next it's fucking wild however i've put out the proposition that she stops treating me like an idiot and also like i don't need anything ever at the same time

#vall txt #if you saw how she treats my sister and i you'd think my sister was the youngest #parentified eldest daughter my lily white ass #she made me go to my physical therapy on foot not once but twice!!!!! #while i was suffering from horrible chronic pain just so she could do whatever the fuck with my sister in town #something my sister did not need her for at all #and she does shit like that all the time #and also says stuff that is rather one step behind for blaming me for things that wow ok ye sure my 13 year old self sure did all that uh u #doesn't help that i look at my dad and like i love him too but if i look at him for more than 20 minutes i start feeling a hatred so big #it could burn several houses down #sorry for the rant tho #i'm having a horrible night #am anxious for my cats vet visit tomorrow and because i was upset i also got some nice lil flashback lmao #sdfjkbsd vent over

[arcaneyouth]

i finished making chapter 7 of my comic and immediately my entire routine went to shambles cause i don't know what to do with myself anymore. girlies i'm so bored

#not really a vent post <3 i'm vibing i'm just sooo bored #like. ok. my main goal right now is to submit an application to a grocery store #i am taking this with ultra super tiny baby steps. if i don't i'll start sobbing and never do it #so i'm spending like 30 minutes max on this a day #there's so many more hours than that in a day and i don't know what to do with it #i do have other projects i should be working on *cough* getting my comic website built *cough* #but because the job shit is the Main Project my brain is like oh no no i can't do that c: that can't be done on the same day as job days! #cause that's how i handle comics and the other stuff i want to work on. #i don't typically do side projects on the same day as my main project that'd be wild that's too much they all get their own days #and now because i don't have Comic Days i don't feel like there's a deadline for me to do my fun stuff #so i'm not nearly as motivated to do the fun stuff #i am Also a little bit in an art block (no ideas) so i probably Should step back from art a bit and give that time #but i don't DO ANYTHING ELSE!!!! art is 90% of my life!!!!! #and the days i don't do art is usually when i know i shouldn't do art that day for the sake of my health #i LIKE when video games are a once a week thing it becomes a special lil treat for meeee #but now that's the only thing i Can do with my time and i ?????????????????????????????? #i can't even be like oh haha i can write stuff instead! i have comic script AND video game script to write! #that doesn't solve the problem i can't start doing that until like 10 pm or else my eyes will be strained the rest of the day #i've been running out of youtube videos for weeks already so that's not anything #and i don't like watching tv/movies #literally what do i even do with myself #god i hope i get this job so i can actually do things again. not a sentence i ever thought i'd say

[homosociallyyours]

My bff got me a gift card for a laundry service and I had so much backed up laundry that i decided to give it a shot. Requested hypoallergenic and scent free since they offered it, and then laundry came back so fragranced 😫 now i feel shitty and exhausted and can't even enjoy the clean laundry. Booooooo

#vent post #lesson learned #at least it was basically free (had to pay the tip with cash) #you know the worst part is that i always kinda enjoyed going to the laundromat as a chore #prefer when it's a 24 hour place #but even when it's not #i would go and make a whole thing out of it #like get myself a lil treat to enjoy while waiting for my clothes #now I'm exhausted from even carrying it inside

[carbonateddelusion]

been reflecting on the kind of person I've become after these past 3 years since the anniversary of me leaving is coming up

I looked at your blog because I was trying to find images of Bennett's design... ended up going on a rabbit hole. idk if you've looked at my blog before but I haven't so much as peeped at yours in years, I stopped like a month after it happened because it was making me so much worse mentally

I dunno if you still feel that way about us, but I'm fine with you disliking me. I did a lot of fucked up shit and I'm sorry, you deserve to be mad. even though a general lack of understanding of boundaries bc of my upbringing and autism could excuse SOME behaviors, there's still a lot of shit that I can't excuse.

something I'm especially sorry about was treating your issues like they weren't as big as mine. I realize now how much you were suffering, and I was too blindsided by my own mental illness to see how terribly you were feeling and how unsupported you were. I remember feeling like I had to placate you because if I didn't things would fall apart again, and that isn't fair to you. I treated your feelings like an inconvenience and that you werent smart enough to get what was going on because I supposedly had so much more experience in suffering. that's not what good friends do to other friends.

anyway. I don't know if you'll ever read this or see it or whatever, but. I don't know how I feel about you. you represent the memories of a lot of pain from around that time in my mind. I don't HATE you, but I'd rather not think about you for too long. I'm very happy to see that you seem to be doing way better, though. you deserve that, and don't let shitty people like I was in the past hold you back

I think it might be interesting to catch up. if that's ever something you'd be fine with doing. I dunno of I'd be comfortable with it myself but whatever. I still think of you, and most of those thoughts are just "I hope they're doing okay".

please keep creating

#vent #vent cw #venty vent #this isn't a majorly negative vent but i'm just Thinkin #bc ive been through a lot these past 6 or 7 years. so so much in such a small amount of time #and i've changed VERY VERY VERY much. #did i ever tell you the part of reason we called me red was because i had a fiery angry temper? #i was a hurt kid and i took that out on people i cared deeply about.. #anyway tbh i don't remember a lot of what i did off the top of my head other than major things #god. lil tonic was so. angry and hurt and didn't realize what was going on or why #i have a much better understanding of who to be mad at now to say the least #and all of that anger over how i was treated has washed away to reveal anger for how others were treated #i dont know what lil rox would think of me but i #*i'm willing to listen to her #also i've been drawing my old persona and thinking about bored game so that's also made me contemplative over this #bored game is about coming to terms with your past i feel like turning red into pen and exploring those scars serves the narrative well #there's someone currently in my life who reminds me of this person and i'm trying my best to not repeat oast mistakes #you both deserve better than that #you'll probably end up finding me thru ben's blog

[raspberry-lava]

Sometimes i think back to late 2018 to very early 2019 when most of my Tumblr friends were still active. Now a lot of them either deactivated or just straight up abandoned their account. It feels like a ghost town kinda. Not to mention one of the friends i was closest with straight up vanished mid 2018 and they haven't been active on any of their accounts since. I had another disappear right around the end of 2017. I still wonder about them till this day since they just up and vanished without a word to anybody. Sometimes the intrusive thought get to me, nagging at me telling me i was too annoying and i finally scared them away. Other times i wonder if they just lost the passwords to all of their accounts.

I just started back talking to one of the around 10 to 12 friends i had. At least 7 of those friends have since deactivated. It kinda sucks but hey its life. But ive learned that sometimes you outgrow friends, and they outgrow you. Of course, you're gonna miss them but its a part of life i suppose.

But eventually you move on. Find new friends. Possibly new relationships. You reminisce about the times with the old friends you had back when things were simpler. You grow into new people, you get new interests and your personality grows with you. Sometimes is comforting knowing you left those friends in the past. Sometimes you're left wondering would we still be friends today? Would you still agree on things you did in the past? How much have they changed? Would they like the new you? Would they even be interested in the same fandoms anymore?

I dont remember where i was going with this. Im so very grateful for the people i have now. I dont know what i would do without them. I have an amazing girlfriend, and an awesome best friend.

Although my friend group dwindled from around 20 to barely 8, im still so grateful i have them. And honestly? I dont care that i dont have that many friends anymore. Sure i talk to the old friends i had from time to time, but ive realized that im happiest with under 10 friends. Im not a people person like i was a few years ago, and i certainly dont have the confidence meeting new people like i did a few years ago. I made friends with my favorite camp camp artist because i realized they followed me back. We've now known each other for around 2 or 3 years.

I wish i had that confidence now. I wish i had the guts to just message new people and make friends with them. I wish my self esteem didn't make me believe im an annoying and selfish person. I wish i was a normal person with normal experiences like going out, making friends, getting a job. I wish i could properly come out to my parents about me being a demigirl but hey i guess im too much of a coward and afraid of rejection and being disowned to do so.

I feel so bad for the people that see this. I started with thinking about my old friends and now ive turned it into a vent. Well done me. But sometimes you gotta let it out. No matter who sees.

This might be my longest post on here. Sorry for turning into a late night/early morning brainless vent.

#cw vent #cw self deprecation #a little bit of self loathing #as a treat #tw transphobia mention #???? i think??? #i dont know #i do miss my old friends though #i wonder where they are in life right now #oh god i really am a luz kinnie arent i #just a random post #plus i havent had sleep in a good 20 hours i think so theres that #insomnia got to me a lil bit

[rainybraindays]

Sometimes I wish my ex had just cheated on me because I stg that would have made my life easier

#rainy talks #this is specifically about ✨️s✨️ #do you know how hard it is to get out of a relationship where you're treated like shit; threatened; and all your friends like them?? #and also I was like a lil bit in love #but if he'd cheated I would not have stuck around so long and I probably wouldn't have had to be forced to break up with him #by the one person who actually cared about my well being in that friend group #rainy vents #sorry sleep deprived and thinking jensndmmz

[voicedbychrispratt]

listening to someone talk about how they want to be loved and it's the same way i want to love them

#taylor swift was so right in you belong with me #he needs a hug so bad #guys how do you confess your undying love for someone who sees you as just a friend while he's hopelessly in love with someone else #who's not even treating him right #MY LIFE IS A FUCKING MOVIE IN THE WORST WAY #lil vent

[gg-carboxylase]

A minor detour, plz endulge me — It's bullshit to claim that query people automatically agree that X, Y, and Z are understood to be jokes and are OK them. That's such a toxic level of thinking and I'm absolutely shocked that I came across it today.

That I came across it in a space run by women and non-binary people is even more mind-boggling.

There's so many of you out there that are so eager to be part of the cool kids club that you're willing to overlook so very many foul, toxic, and downright damaging behaviors.

I might be mean and call people out on their shitty jokes, but at least I'm not the one making the jokes that are about queer stereotypes, or jokes about assault, etc. You bet your ass I'm gonna call something toxic before I give someone the benefit of the doubt that it's "a joke".

We want men to call out their peers behaviors? Hey guess what? We should too. Just because we're queer, trans, women, non-binary, whatever — that doesn't mean we shouldn't be called out.

I will call someone out no matter where it is, in front of others, if they have hit my Shit List Quotient. I curate quite aggressively, whether it's unfollowing, muting tags, leaving channels, etc. You really have to consistently show me you are a dick for me to come for you. I find it endlessly amusing that I'm the bad guy, pointing out shitty behaviors.

No, that's you.

#Just a lil venting #As a treat #Because I am generally giving good content here #My friends like me #That's all that really matters at the end of the day