#listen i genuinely i'm. so tired

[maybankiara]

someone come read the first 14k of my latest jiara fic and scream at me to finish it bc i won’t

#d.writes #jiara #d.tag #listen i genuinely i'm. so tired #but if i go work on smth else i'll end up abandoning this #and i worked too damn hard #but i also don't want to keep writing it #leshgkafj;d #it's that time of the year #ff: bingo proposal

[jessicas-pi]

it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.

#i'm just saying. out of all the ships in the star war; sabine and ezra have one of the healthiest dynamics #right up there with kanera and bail and breha and obitine and maybe a few others. there are SO few 'problems' with it. #not that those 'problems' make a ship BAD when it's written well or in certain context. #just that out of all the ships to pick on; people choose THIS one????? #the one with character growth and found family and mutual respect?? #the one with self-sacrifice and decades-long loyalty and obitine parallels and a jetpack chase scene???? #what's there to hate??? #and i would add a disclaimer about how if you dont ship them its fine as long as you dont bully but honestly? #i am so so tired of having to qualify my statements. #this is about the targeted hate. this has always been about the targeted hate. #and i don't care if someone loathes something i love as long as they they keep that loathing out of my personal space. #this has been a tag rant. thank you for reading. #btw i'm not being sarcastic about it being hilarious. it genuinely cracks me up to see people get SO hateful over this #for a reason that does not exist #as opposed to several other ships which DO IN FACT HAVE THAT OBJECTION. #like. oh my gosh. are you even listening to yourselves. #if u wanna have the don't-ship-siblings fight then puhLEEZE bring it to someone who ships siblings. #jessica's controversial star wars opinions #sabezra #(don't worry that this post is a vent because i'm getting bullied or anything. im not visible enough for that i guess lol) #it was written in humor not in hurt :)

[doveotion]

genuinely didn't think I'd make it to 18 let alone 22 so now I'm looking around like..... Now What

#diary #um. sad rant i guess dont read if you're not in the headspace to take in negativity #i dont know what to do with myself. i feel like crying all the time and I'm always tired no matter how much i sleep and i love my family bu #sometimes i wish i just lived alone and didn't talk to anyone. i hate talking about my problems i hate everything about it #i dont want to be here. but i dont know where to go or how to move forward. i want to live but i dont really have that option #i feel so stuck right now. #i would say more but it would get sad really fast so I'll write it down maybe. or listen to some sad music and cry it out #genuinely thought about running away to like. Switzerland earlier. like i was looking up flights and everything #how fucking sad does someone have to be to contemplate that.

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 27

"Long Time Gone" by The Chicks

#song of the day #I'm still thinking about the Country Songs About Country Songs #this is actually a cover too though I never hear the original around anywhere #(it's by Darrell Scott who is also the originator for 'You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive' #turns out he's got a bunch of songs that got picked up and made somewhat more popular in the hands of other folks. an interesting legacy) #the best lines of this song to sing are also the bits About Country Music--well the whole song's about chasing the love of it #but this bit is bemoaning the kids these days you know. country music isn't what it used to be. why back in my day etc etc #it's so so so much fun to sing too because you get to exaggerate your 'I think's until they rhyme with 'Hank'. excellent work #'we listen to the radio to hear what's cookin / but the music ain't got no soul #now they sound tired but they don't sound Haggard / they got money but they don't have Cash #they got Junior but they don't have Hank / I think I think I think / the rest is a long time gone' #it's fascinating to me to think about these songs in (saying 'historical' here is giving me psychic damage but) historical context #because the Darrell Scott original for Long Time Gone came out in 2000 and The Chicks released their version in 2002 #so they were talking about the trend towards American jingoism in country music of the time #versus like Waylon Jennings in 1975 'Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way' #(I typed that and /then/ went back and looked up the release date and I'm so proud I got it right) #already bemoaning the state of country music in the 70s versus good old classic country like Hank Williams Senior sang #(Hank Jr covered Waylon's song in 1981. like yes it's a tribute to his father but also Hank Jr was a big push towards outlaw country #and has a few pretty famous songs himself about not singing like his daddy did. it just seems a strange choice to me) #and then Eric Church put out 'Lotta Boot Left to Fill' in 2009 calling out the shallowness of the country music scene of the time #(talking some only-thinly-veiled shit about a few of his peers in the process) #and then he released 'Stick That In Your Country Song' in 2021 and that /definitely/ put some backs up #that one's a less directed but more direct call-out if that makes any sense #no lines that are direct references to other artists' songs but stronger sentiments overall #not just general 'y'all are getting shallow prioritizing good times and high sales over genuine heart and integrity of craft' #but some straight up 'you have forgotten the face of your father' shit towards country artists and fans alike. the whole industry #a very good righteous-anger song

[gxlden-angels]

Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)

It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.

I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.

It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great

#I know I sound like I'm a being sponsored by this app but it's genuinely been incredible for my mental health #whenever I get frustrated in therapy now about not being able to describe a feeling my therapist asks me to think about the chart #he'll ask me what color I feel and go 'good! do you want to narrow it down from there or continue with just that?' and it's so helpful #I have such terrible alexithymia from both cptsd and autism #it took a year of working with him to even recognize when I felt angry or hungry or sick #my friends and I check in on each other regularly now but it feels less intrusive #cause it feels like indirectly reaching out so it's less pressure to directly respond #and it might not feel the same for everyone since it could be jarring to get a notification saying friend feels miserable #but now that I've gotten used to it I don't feel like I need to solve their problems and make them feel better #Like they might be miserable because they're sick! So I check in and they say they're sick but okay and I don't feel the impulse to solve #like I would if I just didn't see them then saw them in person and saw they looked miserable #I don't blame myself or feel like I personally need to fix everything because I know they felt like that from an outside source I can't #control but I can certainly help them if they want! It's their choice tho and I don't feel bad if they don't/I can't #I feel less need to control my emotions/force them to be positive like I used to cause nobody feels positive 24/7 and I can see it #I don't feel the need to be politely content like I did in church because no one can be 24/7. I've attempted to get my family to start but #they're still stuck in needing to not be openly negative. It also helps me accept that negative feelings don't last forever #Someone feeling miserable because they're sick eventually puts they feel tired. Then chill and I know they feel better and I feel better too #Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble about my silly little feelings wheel app I hope it helps you like it helped me anon <3

[galaxseacreature]

Queer bookclub at the library, I wish I knew how to quit you. I sit through so many mediocre sounding romance recommendations (valid! just not my jam!) and ya (also valid! but not usually my jam) and the group has a pretty bad record for picking books when we do all read the same thing (tbf the synopses sounded good) and there's a person who just annoys me for no fair reason........but then I have an outlet to talk about scifi that fucks with gender (unclear if anyone else in the group is interested in this but turnabout is fair play) and also I get just enough genuinely good recommendations, especially from the couple of people who read nonfiction. Gambler's fallacy. Next great read is coming soon I can feel it. One more meeting

#I've skipped a....few? months in a row now (mostly due to genuine conflicts) #Thought I skipped this month already but realized it's next week actually so planning to go back and listening to the book now #The other thing about being a regular at a library program is I don't want to let the librarians down by disappearing lol #Anyway this book is fine but not something I would have read otherwise #I did finally read psalm for the wild built which is one of those books I KNEW I would actually like but still resisted because of the hype #Including in this group it gets a little too uwu tenderqueer sometimes. Which has its place. Idk I'm just tired #It's been so interesting watching regular library book club so handily overtake queer book club in my preferences #I love to talk with a bunch of old people about the weird books we are reading including the one lady who doesn't like any of them #None of them read my recommendations either but it feels more constructive somehow #Anyway don't mind me venting I mostly like book club still or I really would quit #Just have to let it out once in awhile

[nonuggetshere]

Ah yes. Hollow and their *checks list* 8 partners

LISTEN-

Ok, I only seriously ship them with like. 4. 6 if you consider the two AU-specific partners (Hector for Pure and Ichor for Hallow (sorry about the selfcest jumpscare)). 7 if you include queerplatonic partners. The rest are "oh this dynamic/scenario could be fun to explore but none of the already existing bastards fit it" and also the joke that was Hallow's absolutely MASSIVE polycule

...okay yeah no, I have a problem /j

#thylacines can talk #asks #LISTEN. I JUST LIKE EXPLORING DIFFERENT FUN DYNAMICS AND WHAT IFS OK #DON'T LOOK AT ME #Fun fact my girl Malika was originally created for Hallow' #'s massive polycule before I fell in love with her and yoinked her into her own AU #Or few #These names probably mean nothing to you huh JDBDNDJD #I think my favourite thing to do in fandoms is character relationship exploration and playing around with different dynamics. Both platonic #and romantic. Which just led me to shipping so many people with Hollow. A lot of my ships with them started off as trying out a fun new #scenario/au idea and genuinely falling in love with the characters' dynamics and their stories #Sorry I went Off I tend to ramble when I'm tired djfbfj

[ancientnames]

lowkey scared Lord Huron is gonna release another album and I won't even be able to listen to it. like at all. whatsoever. bc I know that if I listen to it I'll have a wholeass Breakdown and I cannot handle that right now

#you'll hear me howl by the light of the moon #it has been Months and I am still in the depths of profound despair unlike anything I have ever experienced #there's no end in sight but I'm so tired of not being able to enjoy the things I used to enjoy #I love Lord Huron SO MUCH but almost all their music is off-limits to me bc it will give me the impulse to drive off a bridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #the love for the music is still there!!!! it's just buried under an infinitely heavy layer of mourning!!!!! #the grieving never ends!!!! it never ends!!!!!! #hahahaha okay sorry started venting a lil bit there #it has been a rough . several months #I'm genuinely legitimately worried that if I listen to any new LH music and have a breakdown. what if I straight up Cannot Recover from that #what if that's the straw that breaks the camel's back for me!!!

[torchickentacos]

ursa wip. drawing during powerpoints hour. feeling atla-y lately. annoyed at proportions but fuck it we ball, if I try to make it perfect I won't end up making it

#anyways. time for taylor's tags after midnight. always a long ride the size of a oneshot. #guys studying is like. killing me a bit. i'm getting my relaxing time while listening to powerpoints and drawing #or playing sdv on switch #and. hm. it's so annoying. vent incoming #because i'm genuinely working myself into the ground here #but if i don't i simply will not get it done. #i'm so. so incapable of doing things right now focus wise. if i do not spend hours chipping away. it won't get done. #i cannot focus and do it in one sitting or i won't like. eat and sleep #i'm just unable to DO anything. clean. work. read. relax. #i don't feel anything but tired and worried and a weight on my shoulders right now #and any time i step away from my work i just feel guilty because i should be working #also i just have not earned it. #i have not gotten enough work done to warrant relaxing time BECAUSE I CANNOT GET WORK DONE #god. costco needs to get these new meds in #and if they don't work... idk. i cannot keep doing school like this. i might seriously talk about getting a job for a bit. #not dropping out but just... taking a break. i can't do this for much longer. idk. #but hey. the meds may help. #my therapist is. talking to his colleagues about it which is mildly worrying #got adhd so bad he's gathering his coworkers to talk about it ksjdksjdksfhjd #he said it may be memory issues too. idk. #i mean i don't remember a vast majority of my childhood but like. that's kind of a different thing kksdskdskdjskdjskdjs #anyways. good place to stop methinks

[pallanophblargh]

Really super duper cool. Created a new document in Photoshop CC (to start the mega large bald eagle nest in its own document) and it won’t save. Or save as. Or respond to any of the current little cute hacks that people have posted regarding this very sudden error that keeps occurring over the years. :)

It’s not my disk space, or any other obvious problem. I can seemingly save existing open documents (as far as I can tell, I’m reluctant to close the program out and probably lose my last three hours of work in the event it’s Worse Than I Thought.)

I’m going to quit now. Not like there’s anything I can do about it, anyway. I’ll update the client there will be an unforeseen delay and that we should extend the deadline out another few weeks in the event we’ve got a worst case scenario on my hands.

I think I might be too angry to sleep, which is a shame, because I was genuinely ready for bed a half hour ago.

#photoshop cc #wow we got almost to the end of this project before disaster struck #people always ask why I'm a pessimist and I just want to gesture at everything #also I don't do software #I'm so tired of DEALING WITH SOFTWARE #listen I'm serious I don't learn anymore #and i've literally never encountered this before this is wholly fucking brand new #and I don't have an app updates so ??????? WHY???? #April rants #good for all of you folks who are tech savvy but yeah that's not me #fucking hell this is a really bad start to this week I genuinely am worried I won't make it out

[pierswife]

Alright I am incredibly sleepy so I have less shame but still I need everyone to look away for like 5 seconds kay?

So I'm gonna replay Shield soon cause I do genuinely enjoy the game, but I got distracted and started going through my screenshots from the first time I played and just fucking melted when I got to my very healthy amount of Piers screenshots and clips. From him getting super into battling, to being the definition of chaotic good, the way he just always worries about Marnie, how he'd just kinda big brother Hop or the player just so naturally, lightly ribbing Hop, but also just being such a tired mom friend. I love how he tries to hold how happy he is back sometimes, but other times can't help but just have the biggest and happiest smile. Like idk why but just how varied he is like character wise, especially for a pokemon game, just makes me so happy? Like the dude just makes me smile whenever he's on screen like he's legitimately the best and dnhwjdjwhsowhshe AAAAAAAAAAAAA

#listen I just think he's neat and I like him a lot and whenever I think about him I just CANNOT stop smiling #he really just makes me so incredibly happy #I know I say that I'm the sunshine in the ship but god dammit maybe he can be like the sun for me sometimes as a treat #I should write a fic of seeing him smile like... genuinely... for the first time or at least doodle something for it #anyway I need to go to bed I am so fucking tired kfjwidjwiw #but please know that I do genuinely love him with all my heart #legit the fictional character that I would date irl if ever given the chance #data log: personal #punk king of spikemuth

[squeeb100]

Oops i accidentally played totk until midnight again

#' why am i so tired ' it's the damn game #it is SO fun #off the charts levels of ' ooh what's over there??? holy fuck im allowed to do this??? ' #not a traditional zelda game and one of the two dungeons I've done was horrendously frustrating and a little stupid #but the other was incredible and so fun toget to #excited to see the others. I'm talking my time #spent TWO HOURS exploring a cave system the other dsy #i love it #i JUST replayed botw. just in the last few months. and this still feels so exciting #lost my train of thought anyway it is not a traditional zelda game but it's kind of the best #this feels like what zelda games were meant to be like from the get-go and deveover 35 years #listen i am a twilight princess stan. i GET IT #but this is just incredibly fun #also the genuine fear and apprehension this game has made me feel makes me feel like im 13 playing tp again #squeeb #totk #the legend of zelda

[nexus-nebulae]

stupid fucking broken body

#low health #i haven't had a single second of feeling no pain in my entire memory #i can't do a single thing without hurting #not even laying completely still in bed completely flat and straight #i can't even lay like a goddamn corpse without being in pain what kind of fucking bullshit body is this #i did a symptom assessment and the symptoms list was more than twice as long as my phone screen #and the text was fucking TINY too aha #there isn't a single part of my body that works like it's supposed to and that's not an exaggeration #so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is #everyone always assumes i hyperbolize and dramaticize and exaggerate and play it up for pity #or whatever other insidious shit they always assume I'm doing #to a point where I'm starting to HAVE to play it up now because nobody will fucking listen #and if the only thing that works is 'im literally fucking dying' then fuck me i guess #they treat me like a boy who cried wolf without ever even bothering to fucking check if i was right #and I'm surrounded by fucking wolves now but everyone's so busy ignoring what i say they can't even see the fucking wolves #i first started getting joint pain when i was FOURTEEN and i have gotten *how many treatments?* #ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO. #i have NEVER received a single fucking DIAGNOSIS much less any FUCKING HELP #and it has been OVER SIX YEARS #and i have been telling my doctors over and over that i am rapidly deteriorating and won't be able to MOVE for much longer #and they WON'T EVEN SET ME UP WITH AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SPECIALIST CLINIC. #i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point #i haven't had this bad of a mental state since my ABUSIVE GASLIGHTING TRANSPHOBIC ABLEIST EX #and if THIS is making me revert back to THAT then IT'S FUCKING SEVERE AND I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP YEARS AGO #i am fully and wholly being genuinely neglected and left to die #and the ONLY person who seems to genuinely give a shit about me is about just as restricted by circumstance and health #so we can barely even help each other even if we want to

[chrisbangs]

hi li I hope you're doing okay (obv not and I mean that in the NICEST way possible) I'm sorry you're going through so much shit with men and your mom and jobs :/ my abusive ex called me the same girls name twice when I was in my....relationship/situationship with him so! That was cool and he definitely fucked me up in more ways than one. As for the other stuff, I've been unemployed for a month now (for the second time this year!!!!) so I feel like my degree is useless and I'm doing something wrong cause all my friends are either in grad school or have stable jobs lmao 🙃 and then. my mom told me to smile more in public the other day so that men would talk to me but!! She still doesn't know that I'm a lesbian!!!!!! Lmao. Maybe this is weirdly personal and out of nowhere but I definitely still read your text posts and think about you so I guess I just want you to know that you aren't alone in having an especially Bad Time rn. But yeah. I love seeing your posts on my dash and I do read your tags and I hope things can start to work out better for you soon, you definitely deserve better. I hope this ask isn't too weird but I just wanted to send you some love 💕

dndkdmdmdmd 😞💗 it wasn't weird at all and i appreciate you and your kind words so much you have no idea!!!! sjsjksksks i feel like we're living the same life atp this is literally mirroring my life almost exactly 😭 i get you my dude... and i'm sorry you're going through some shitty stuff rn 🫂🤍 i really hope things do change and get better :(

honestly it's kinda crazy when everything sucks and nothing makes me feel better like damn 🫡 gonna just keep taking Ls and for whatttt like what's the pointttt 🤷‍♀️ it's just insane to me...

in any case 🫂🖤 this is me sending u a hug bud... i hope you're doing ok... perhaps we won't feel miserable forever but at least in any case i am rooting for you!!!

#😓💗 #gah... that's so much to go through i get it... #nothing is going right anymore in my life lol #like i wish i was joking but photocards are the only thing i hold onto as my joy in life #i literally have 0 reasons to be happy anymore jendkdndkdndkd #sounds insane but 😎 damn the only time i'm happy is when im flipping through my silly little binders or #when im drunk or when im on a 2 hr bus ride with my headphones in listening to my favourite podcast (distractible) and no one looks at me #i feel so . unwell........ jendkdndkdndkd #i had to really think abt stuff recently and #i just feel like . empty ya know ... #🤷‍♀️ my life has no meaning i have no reason to live etc etc blah blah blah #getting used by some guy cause i have 0 self respect has only made me realize how little i care abt anything in life it's so insane #I FEEL SO EMPTY!!!!!!! i'm just like... i'm really just some shell of a person #idk idk!!!!!! i don't wanna be me i don't wanna be alive my life SUCKS.!!!!! #it's fine omg i'm so dramatic but also i don't have anywhere that feels good.. i have no one that makes me feel safe anymore !!!! no place #that i get to be happy in... everything is either guilt inducing or trauma reminding or whatever u know #like i just . i have nothing 👍 and that that... #i feel very alone ! and very tired and .!!/!&/&/&/!/! idk... like i genuinely don't care much about anything anymore... #i guess it's fine like this is my life this is normal this is how i've lived it for so many years but #i've never felt so lonely before i guess... 🤷‍♀️ but guess who did that to themselves 😎👍 #jsnsksnsksks so it's my fault i'm the issue as usual... whatever hdjdjdkd i'm so insane and dramatic i hope i dieeeeeejjdndkdkd #ANYWAY. i love u . thanku for being so nice to me idk what i'm saying but you are wonderful and :( i hope everything goes up from here for u #anon #answered

[theghostofashton]

.

#white feminists exhaust me #like i genuinely do not know what is disconnected for them #if you can't talk about being treated badly as a result of misogyny without being fucking racist........ #the amount of them who make jokes about castrating men or wishing they could oppress men like hello ???? #men of color would like a word lmfao #they continue to speak over woc while acting like woc are taken soooo seriously #like: we're not. if you think you're not being heard woc are doubly not lmfao #the world has not suddenly switched to listening to woc over white women #and it IS important to discuss intersectionality and how misogyny intersects w racism #to oppress woc in a different way than white women #a white woman's experience is not the same as mine and i am just so tired of hearing them act like it is #my race will always factor into how i'm treated that's not something i get to turn off #and i think this is what makes them worse than white men to me ?? #bc w white men who are racist and misogynistic they're not quiet about it they will tell you that upfront #but these white feminists pretend they're fighting for all women make you think they care about all women act like you're supported #and then yank the rug out from under you bc woc are not we never have been and we never will be :) #and that just makes me feel so fucking shitty lmfao #like to be made to feel like you're part of a movement that your rights are being fought for #and then to realize that you don't actually matter bc of your skin color and no one cares what would actually help you #is just.......it's devastating in a way i don't know how to express lol #anyway ignore me i am just angry #white women say the stupidest fucking shit on here and it genuinely makes me see red sometimes lol

[thebumblingbee]

.

#apparently i'm in such a fragile emotional state that my cat not listening to me triggers hysterics #i genuinely can't do this anymore #i applied for forbearance on my mortgage so i might possibly have a couple months to not worry about losing my house #but i can't fight this anymore #i am so tired #don't mind me while i go and sit on the shower floor and contemplate making poor decisions