#magnus cockblock bane

[lurafita]

*on the phone*

Jace: "Hey Alec, it's me. Listen, your boyfriend is like, stupidly rich, right?"

Alec, suspicious: "Why?"

Jace: "Think he would give me 3000 Dollar for an escape room?"

Alec: "What escape room costs 3000 Dollar?"

Jace: "Jail."

Alec: *hangs up*

#magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #shadowhunters tv #jace herondale #could be canon or au #alec just leaves jace there #at least this way jace can't cockblock them

[khaleesiofalicante]

I'm back!!! God, I need vacations already!!! How many more semesters for this to be over???

*actually looks it up*

A lot. A whole fucking lot. I am slowly dying :))

Anyway, Harry Styles' concert was fucking amazing!! I am not one for this kind of things but I loooved it!!! And I bought a little pin with a pride flag so yeeey🥰

And I also got around reading DML!!

I can't get over the fact that Alec is just shit at figuring out who is queer 😂😂

Listen David, you better stop this suicidal thoughts right the fuck now, love, or I'm going to go there, kill Albert and kidnap you myself if I must!!

OH GOD ALBERT IS THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT IN THE WORLD AND I HATE HIM SO MUCH ITS ON SIGHT 🔪🔪

“I want to convert all the institutes around the world into gay nightclubs,” David replies nonchalantly. Do it!!! Don't let your dreams be dreams!!!

Max would 100% be into this idea😏

Me taking notes on everyone I need to kill for David to be free: uh-huh. Noted and on my way 🥰

“I hope you find your reason,” Alec manages to say. “A reason that is worth taking on that risk.” 🕯️manifesting this🕯️

The whole train wants David dead and apparently, David wants David dead too?

What the fuck?

It be like that sometimes 😔😔

Alec I'm-going-to-traumatize-my-kids Lightwood-Bane

Alec, stop cockblocking them pleaseeee😭

Max is unhinged and David is about to pass out from all this blushing jdhdkdkdk

“It’s okay to be scared for your family,” David says softly. “I wish I had a family I could worry about.”🥺🥺😭

Alec’s family can’t get hurt.

He will do whatever it takes to protect them.

Alec protecting his family gotta be one of my favorites genres 😍😍

“Hey! Someone is dead!” Alec growls.

“They’re still going to be dead in the morning,” David yawns.

“Wake up,” Alec drags him by his foot and out of the bed. “We need to go look for clues.”

David getting the sleep he deserves: 0

Alec dragging him out of bed: 2

Can we take a moment to appreciate the sass this two have?? Bc I think we should 🥰

YESSS!!! MALLORY IS DEAD IN 1 UNIVERSE!!! ONE MORE TO GO!!😎

“Nothing,” Alec laughs at his inside joke. Jesus. He has inside jokes with the French asshole. “Goodnight.” don't pretend you don't like him!!!

Magnus is up to something dangerous? 👀

Alec cockblocking his son's strikes again!!!

I will see this as a perfect opportunity to kill Albert thank you very much :)

I’m so glad you enjoyed the concert!!!! You deserve it 💙💙

Here is actual footage of David from DML

#DML

[bookfast-at-tiffanys]

I’ll just leave this here.

#malec #magnus x alec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jace being a cockblock #jace herondale #asmodeus #camille belcourt #birds of prey

[a-very-gay-spider]

Today i barged in on these two ppl having some aLone tiMe in this empty classroom because for some reason my brain doesn't see what my eyes see so i did NOT SEE TWO WHOLE PEOPLE STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and i deadass said "yeah nope we're staying hERE and if Annie wants to come, she WILL" and i was halfway into pushing my friends in the class when i realized there were t w o (2) whole people there looking so terrified of my dumbass energy.

So, in conclusion, today i channelled the Power of Magnus Bane: the cockblocker™ King.

#just so we're clear alone time for muslims mean standing AWKWARDLY close to someone of the opposite sex #and maybe quite possibly hoLd HANDS #see stuff like this is the reason my aro ass still can't believe pda is real #uuf they were so annoyed with me #cant blame them #magnus bane the cockblocker King's spirit possessed me #wasnft gonna say no to that #magnus bane #too much information #tmi #tsc

[tired-n-tachy]

Is anybody else so done with jace being a cockblock

#malec #clace #shadowhunters #magnus #magnus bane #warlock #alec lightwood #alec #jace herondale #jace wayland #jace lightwood #jace #clary fairchild #clary fray #cockblock #my boys just wanna smooch #lets get it on

[magnuscaresalot]

Izzy: Uh, what’s Alec doing?

Magnus: *watching Alec trying to strangle Jace* Attempting murder.

#vy rants #shadowhunters #incorrect quotes #incorrect shadowhunters quotes #malec #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood #izzy lightwood #Isabelle Lightwood #Jace Wayland #Jace Herondale #Jace Lightwood #jace piCK A FUCKING NAME ALREADY #tfw you're done with your sibling's shit #or he cockblocked you again #whichever

[shadowhntrs-s]

*Magnus and Alec cuddling in bed*

Magnus, smiling softly: you’re beautiful.

Jace, from under the bed: thanks

Magnus: what the fuck

#shadowhunters #sh #text posts #chats #shadowhunters text posts #malec sh #malec #alec x magnus #magnus x alec #magnus bane #magnus sh #alec sh quotes #funny sh #alec shadowhunters #alec #alec lightwood #magnus and jace #jace cockblock #jace and malec #malec and jace #jace sh #jace morgenstern #jace herondale #jace wayland #jace lightwood #malec cockblock #malec text posts #malec quotes

[poemsfromthealley]

Certain signs I'm In Too Deep in this fandom: a sudden burst of fic ideas. To date, I have:

the Magnus-centric 2.17 coda I started to resolve Dot's offscreen fate that season 3 has not yet jossed

the hurt/comfort leading up to porn that I started because I wondered if Alec and Magnus ever have mundane couple fights over stupid things

the five times one with Magnus in Alec's spaces

the obligatory longfic with Clary/Izzy that I really want to get off the ground

the sudden Renaissance Italy AU that I want to fight but that keeps coming up

and today, I started writing immortality angst because I finally knew the angle I wanted to take.

So, snippet of the day:

"Even if I knew how," Magnus says, hoarse, "do you think I'd do that to you? That I value you so little? You, Alexander, of all the people in the world."

Before Alec can parse any of that, Magnus is through the door. Alec sinks to sit on the couch, his mind a roar of confusion. When he finally moves, it's to grab his phone and stare at it numbly for another minute before he makes the call.

Izzy answers against the background noise of the ops center, but some sisterly instinct pings at his tone, because fifteen seconds later she's somewhere much more muted. "What is it?"

"I—" Now that he has her on the line, it's suddenly hard to speak. "I think I really screwed up, Iz."

I will finish all of these. In some order.

#stuff by j #magnus bane #alec lightwood #isabelle lightwood #fic snippet #now if work would stop cockblocking me and let me write #that would be grand #alec x magnus

[gummybearzgocrazyagain]

my hella arbitrary list of fav malec moments ranked, just because i felt so aaaaaaand i have an unhealthy obsession with lists that is definitely diagnoseable but ssshhhhh

37. “you stupid Nephilim“ (c)

36. “I think the autumnal theme would be nice” “ABORT, ABORT, Isabelle, are you insane?” (c)

35. Hall of the Accords kiss in CoG

34. subway mugging attempt from the very first date

33. the way you just know book!magnus enunciates word “Alexander”

32. this absolute gem of an interaction

31. Magnus somehow figuring that enchanting his sister’s whip with magical protections would be the best gift to Alec for his birthday

30. The simple fact of Alexander Gideon Lightwood turning out to be wild AF, and having a certain proclivity to tearing Magnus’ expensive wardrobe pieces right off him, while in throws of passion

29. “Wow, you and Monogamous Bane make me tired. He’s even dumber than you are” (c) Lily

28. When Clary invented a rune to temporary present herself as one’s most beloved, and Alec saw Magnus, even though it happened mere months in their relationship

27. Magnus coming to the Institute to see Alec off to Alicante in CoHF, even though they were broken up

26. “Alec Lightwood loved one man so much...” cause duh 

25. “He is not my warlock” cause DUUUHHHHHH

24. general population of the Downworld sometimes subtly reminding Alec about Magnus being slightly out of his league (e.g. “Punch above your weight a little, huh?” (c), etc.)

23. but at the same time, the journey from “STOP HUGGING SHADOWHUNTERS IN FRONT OF MY PLACE OF BUSINESS” (c) TEC 1 to “Get a room, cute boys!” (c) TEC 2

22. Mere fact that in spite of all the convoluted and complicated history Magnus has had with Nephilim over centuries, he eventually somehow ended up being married to their highest authority figure like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

21. “I do not ever want another love“ how dare you sir

20.  the fact that Alec instantly knew(c) with Max, and Magnus instantly knew(c) with Rafe

19. and that it is physically impossible for them to come by an abandoned child, and stop themselves from adopting on the spot

18. Alec’s behaviour during warlock sickness in TDA

17. 

16. ELYASS

15.

14. “The Voicemail of Magnus Bane” cause legendary

13. 

12. “Catarina gave Magnus a delighted look over Alec’s shoulder. “At last”, she murmured. “A keeper.” (c)

11.

10. unforgettable “Since I am the Consul now, I guess I make the rules.” [...] “Was that flirting?” Magnus said. “Because I have to tell you I’m more in than I thought I would be.” [...] “Yes.” Said Alec. He paused. “No. A little bit.” [...] ‘’I mean I make all the rules. I’m in charge now”. “I told you already I was in“ (c) QoAaD

9. 

8. I wanna say the entirety of tRSoM, which main plot premise was “two poor clueless idiots are just trying to screw each other in peace, but kept getting cockblocked at every turn”, but am gonna say Rome Hotel Scene, for reasons

7. also, the marvellous fact that the cockblocking torch was passed down from demons/cultists/princes of hell to malec’s very own precious infant heir

6. aaaaaaand of course let’s not forget to mention Simon Lewis in that particular regard

5. the general level of thirst throughout the whole saga

4. Yes, this one, this one fits, after all the stumbling around and searching, and here it is. (c) What to buy the Shadowhunter

3. The Land I Lost (”his first kiss and his last”, “but he could imagine, in some faraway future, the face he loved best”, “hey, my baby”, “once he’d said “my betrothed” and felt like a total idiot”, feel free to stop me at any point)

2.

1. [...] I spent days dying in chains, thinking you would never know this, so let me tell you now. I will love you as long as I live. However long or short my life may be, it seems to me that I could never find time enough to love you as you deserve. Loving you made me believe in eternity. Aku cinta kamu. (c)

#malec #shadowhunters #book!malec #Magnus Bane #alexander gideon lightwood

[fantasticangelrebel]

As someone who just finished reading TRSOM, I think I’m qualified to host this year’s annual ship awards. In the category of “most cockblocked ship”, I hereby declare Malec as the winner!!! After being rudely interrupted time and time again by demons, warlocks, even Malec themselves, this ship (consisting of Disaster Gay Shadowhunter Alec Lightwood and Freewheeling Bisexual Warlock Magnus Bane) has made it to the top of our list!! Since neither member of this ship is currently here to receive this award, as they’re finally getting the alone time they deserve, this award will be taken by Jace Wayland/Lightwood/Morgenstern/Herondale, Alec’s parabatai, as the character who finally got laid in book six.

#shadowhunters #tmi #the mortal instruments #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #the eldest curses #city of bones #city of ashes #city of glass #city of fallen angels #city of lost souls #city of heavenly fire #the red scrolls of magic #the lost book of the white #alec lightwood #magnus bane #jace herondale #malec #save shadowhunters

[imsoftokay]

Shadowhunters - a show that makes you even more bisexual with each episode

#shadowhunters #alec lightwood #jace cockblocker #clary fray #simon lewis #magnus bane #isabelle lightwood #raphael santiago #luke garroway #maryse lightwood #maia roberts #malec #jimon #clace #climon #sizzy

[normal-thoughts-official]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdCTRrvN/

Please watch until the end or skifoward a little

hdbdudnd ok but this person is so right and when i first watched it i was also like "damn alec u fucking suck at this repression thing huh". like he just immediately not only went "yeah that sounds fun", no hesitation (sidenote i think this might be the first time alec said the word fun lmao) but ALSO immediately went "when" like homeboy was SO EAGER. and when magnus said "right now" alec was turning and you could TELL he was about to do it. he was gonna be like "sorry clary gtg goodbye forever, i have to uhhh do stuff" (magnus: im stuff). but of course Clary Fray, Queen Of Cockblocking, had already ruined it before he could even say anything

which is why i find the "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" line particularly hilarious because not only was alec not playing hard to get, he was actually EXTREMELY eager????? he was ready to Just Go without a thought and then like when they had drinks alec actually fucking ditched his mom for him with barely any protest. if anything i was like "damn that was easy" and meanwhile magnus is like "hmmmmm, maybe hes playing a game or smth" which i get cuz he went from "yeah Lets Go" to "gtg bye" in two seconds flat without explaining why, but still. hilarious

another thing i love about this scene is the way magnus introduces himself??? like "we met before, with the demon". magnus. magnus. you are magnus bane, high warlock of brooklyn. he KNOWS who you are and would have even if you hadn't met. but after you've met and it 1- was literally less than 24h ago; 2- left uhhh.... quite a mark all things considered, ALEC FUCKING KNOWS WHO YOU ARE LIKE DIDNDKDNDOD. if i didnt know any better id say that magnus was nervous and idk i just find that kinda awkward introduction really cute, especially with that little pause

like "i'm magnus... we've met before. with the demon". idk it's just sweet. you can tell it was a spur of the moment decision and magnus was like playing with his book throwing it in the air meanwhile and you could tell he kinda didn't know what to say, especially with the "you seem.... sympathetic" dudbdind. magnus was SO interested in him but he had no goddamn clue what to say especially cuz as far as he knows alec might be in denial but like. damn if they didn't have chemistry and that moment where they held hands and the magic sharing was so intimate and easy and Off The Shits didn't draw magnus' attention. and he just really wanted to see the pretty guy again udndidnd iconic

in short theyre both idiots ❤️

#sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #himbo husbands #disaster magnus bane #ask #anonymous

[cuddly-dean-baby]

what fandoms/people i will write for

tag list

Updated on 25 March 2024

i'll most likely write male or gn reader, so it's fair for everyone

give me a small description of what you want. i'm down to write some lgbt+ as i'm part of the community. if you want me to write the request as a mini series, tell me also

i'll try and write smut, but i doubt it. i'll write close to it (so basically a cockblock) but i'll see how i feel about it

i apologize if the requests take long. it's either because i've been a bit busy, writers block being a pain in the ass, i've been feeling unwell, or work has me drained

~the actors who play the characters~

The Walking Dead (game and show) Daryl Dixon Rick Grimes Negan  Javier Garcia Clementine Shane Walsh

Supernatural Dean Winchester Sam Winchester Castiel Jack Kline Meg Rowena MacLeod Jody Mills

Marvel Tony Stark Pietro/Peter Maximoff Scott Summers (Cyclops) Alex Summers (Havok) Charles Xavier Hank McCoy (Beast) Bucky Barnes Clint Barton Doctor Strange Peter Quill Loki Sam Wilson Wade Wilson (Deadpool) Matt Murdock Thor Marc Spector Steven Grant Tobey Maguire!Peter Parker/SpiderMan Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker/SpiderMan Frank Castle Miguel O’Hara Hobart “Hobie” Brown Driug

DC Clark Kent Dick Grayson Garfield Logan Jason Todd Harley Quinn Poison Ivy Arthur Curry (Aquaman) Connor Kent

The Witcher Geralt

BNHA/My Hero Academia  Bakugo Aizawa Kirishima FatGum

Resident Evil (game) Carlos Oliveira Karl Heisenberg Leon Kennedy Chris Redfield Lady Alcina Dimitrescu

The Umbrella Academy Viktor Hargreeves Diego Hargreeves Five Hargreeves Klaus Hargreeves

Detroit Become Human Connor Hank Anderson RK900 Markus Elijah Kamski Ralph Gavin Reed

The Haunting (Hill House + Bly Manor) Luke Crain Nellie Crain Peter Quint Owen 

Hellboy

The Maze Runner Newt Minho Thomas

Z Nation 10K Javier Warren Addy

IT (2019) Bill Denbrough Ben Hanscom

Rise of the Guardians Jack Frost Bunnymund Pitch (Boogeyman)

Tarzan

American Horror Story (Evan Peters’ characters)

Big Hero 6 Tadashi Hamada

Transformers Bumblebee Crosshairs Grimlock Colonel William Lennox Cade Yeager

Shadowhunters Jace Wayland Alec Lightwood Simon Lewis Magnus Bane

Seven Deadly Sins Meliodas Ban Harlequin/King

The Mandalorian

Twilight Carlisle Cullen Edward Cullen Jasper Hale Emmett Cullen Jacob Black

Divergent Four/Tobias Eaton Peter

Overwatch McCree Reaper Soldier 76

YouTubers Markiplier jacksepticeye Corpse Husband Anthony Padilla David Dobrik

Kingsman Eggsy Unwin Agent Tequila Agent Whiskey

Some Horror Slashers Jason Voorhees Michael Myers Pyramid Head Brahms Heelshire Ghostface (Billy Loomis and Stu Macher) Thomas Hewitt Bubba Sawyer Hannibal Lecter (show)

Lucifer

The Wolf Among Us Bigby Wolf

Peaky Blinders Thomas Shelby

Stranger Things Steve Harrington Billy Hargrove Jim Hopper Eddie Munson

Shameless Carl Gallagher Ian Gallagher Mickey Milkovich Kevin Ball Veronica Fisher

Dickensian Arthur Havisham

The Sandman Morpheus (Dream) The Corinthian

The Band Ghost Aether Mountain Rain Swiss DewDrop Papa III (Terzo) Papa IV (Copia)

Bullet Train Tangerine

Castlevania Dracula Alucard Hector Trevor Belmont

Call Of Duty Simon 'Ghost' Riley König John ‘Soap’ MacTavish Mitchell

The 100 Bellamy Blake Finn Collins

Game of Thrones Oberyn Martell Jon Snow

The Last Of Us Joel Miller

Midnight Mass Riley Flynn Father Paul Hill Sheriff Hassan

The Boys Billy Butcher Soldier Boy (Ben)

FNAF (movie) Mike Schmidt 

The Hunger Games Peeta Mellark Finnick O’Dair

Avatar Jake Sully

[trashofreylo]

Shadowhunters afterthought

I just noticed something. Jace didn't cockblock anyone this episode! AND he even got some!!

#alec lightwood #magnus bane #simon lewis #clary fray #malec #climon #jace herondale #jace wayland #jace cockblock #shadowhunters #shadowhunters spoilers #those of demon blood #maia roberts #matthew daddario #harry shum jr #alberto rosende #katherine mcnamara #dom sherwood #alisha wainwright

[shadowhntrs-s]

*Magnus and Alec about to get kinky*

Jace: *walking in* hey-

Magnus: I gave you that key for emergencies, boy.

Jace: This is an emergency. Me and Clary ran out of doritos.

Magnus:

Alec:

Jace:

Simon: *walking in* hey Magnus raphael and I are out of doritos do you-

Alec: oh fOR GODS SAKE

#shadowhunters #text posts #malec #malec cockblock #malec and jace #malec text posts #malec shadowhunters #clace #clace shadowhunters #magnus bane #magnus shadowhunters #magnus x alec #alec shadowhunters #alec lightwood #alec #jace #jace cockblock #jace wayland #jace morgenstern #jace herondale #jace lightwood #clary fray #clary fairchild #clary morgenstern #simon lewis #saphael #saphael shadowhunters #sh #raphael santiago #simon x raphael

[alecgsaltwood]

Malec: *about to get freaky in the shower*

Jace: *pulls back curtain* are we- stop screaming, its me- are we all out of cereal

#WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME #Please make this a continuous thing #how many times can jace cockblock his brother #Alec Lightwood #Magnus Bane #Jace Herondale #dom sherwood #harry shum jr #matthew daddario #malec #shadowhunters