#me: i'll keep it vague for now to figure out how to phrase it the way i want to and how to make it make sense

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday 🎄

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 💖

wasn't sure about posting this bc I don't wanna share like everything I have so far but it's fuck it friday so fuck it lol I'm too excited to keep it to myself haha - here's more of the christmas fic and the main idea behind it (I said it's gonna be mostly silly and fluffy and I promise it will be, just gotta add a little more sad while buck talks about his childhood lol)

prev snippet

___

His eyes don’t leave the screen, while Eddie’s are glued to Buck’s face. “Well, there’s a lot of things I always wanted to do with my family on Christmas, but never got to.” his voice gets even quieter. “But there’s one thing in particular. I, uh, that’s so stupid.” he chuckles quietly, then nods to the screen, where a kid is opening a gift with a bright smile, his family surrounding him. “I wanted this.” he admits quietly, as if embarrassed. He never told Eddie much about his life growing up, but based on everything Eddie knows about his parents, he can imagine it wasn’t great. He never asked, not wanting to pry, but now Eddie wonders what Buck’s Christmas must’ve looked like, especially after Maddie moved out. He must’ve been miserable, and Eddie’s heart is breaking just at the thought.

“It’s not stupid to want a happy holiday with a loving family.” he says softly, carefully. Buck shakes his head, the red in his cheeks now visible despite the dark.

“I mean, that too, I- I never got this, and I always wished- but not just that.” another shake of his head. “I mean, the sweaters.” he mutters under his breath.

“Christmas sweaters?” Eddie asks, not sure if he heard right, just because of how quiet Buck said it.

“I know, it’s dumb. I just always imagined sitting around in matching sweaters, as a family, taking pictures, looking like we belong together, like I- like I belong.” he adds, turning his head away, so Eddie can’t see his face. Eddie reaches his hand further, touching Buck’s shoulder.

“They couldn’t give you matching Christmas sweaters?” he asks incredulously, fighting not to raise his voice.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @lover-of-mine @jamespearce9-1-1 @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @disasterbuckdiaz @buckaroosheart @hippolotamus @king-buckley

#fuck it friday #fic snippet #buddie #buddie fic #buddie wip #wikiangela writes #my writing #my wips #buddie christmas fic #or more like buddie christmas sweaters fic but anyway lol #don't ask what christmas movie they're watching it's all made up lmao #me: i'll keep it vague for now to figure out how to phrase it the way i want to and how to make it make sense #also me: here's every single thing I've written for this bc im too excited and have no self control lol #(still not sure it makes sense but im having fun haha) #getting so excited about my fics i can't keep them to myself is so on brand lmao (jess saw this snippet as soon as i finished it <3 haha) #i might mix it up and share some cheating fic on sunday tho haha

[crownmemes]

Chance Sentences

(Sentences from Chance (2016-2017). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Patients come to me and I assess them, and then I refer them forward to the appropriate next step."

"She strikes me as someone who knows how to get her way."

"You got so tough all of a sudden."

"Once is a mistake. Twice is a decision."

"Did I mention that I have been drinking?"

"I will not accept that this problem cannot be solved."

"Most fights are over before they start."

"If you're going to be afraid, be afraid of something that could actually happen."

"Know what your enemy is afraid of. That's power."

"The question is not 'Is it a game?'. The question is 'Who sets the rules?'."

"Your not knowing the reason doesn't mean there isn't one."

"Never would have figured you for a motorcycle guy."

"You're good, I know you are, but you're not strong enough."

"Whatever this is, it won't end how you think."

"For me to be loved for the first time ever... You can't imagine what it's like."

"What value is money, or even life, without love?"

"I would have killed my father if I could have."

"I think you should confess. I think you should come clean."

"There's more trauma in this life than war."

"What I want to know is how someone like you managed to stay alive this long."

"They said you have a concussion and broken bones, but you're going to be okay."

"We're going to fix what's wrong with us. The both of us. That's what matters."

"I've always thought of you as one of the good ones."

"If you weren't already hitting that, I'd tell you to."

"Every instinct I have says to grind you into a pulp."

"Instinct is behaviour based on prior experience."

"You're going to die pretty soon if you don't stop picking fights."

"Are you thinking of doing something that has an outcome you can't live with? Again?"

"Oh, I am well acquainted with the limits of what you can do."

"I don't play chess anymore. I used to, now I don't."

"You know, there's something different about you from the guy I met before. Something in your eyes."

"So somebody killed somebody. How is it my problem?"

"That jacket is a piece of clothing that's worthy of scrutiny. No one will look past it to what's underneath as long as the jacket makes a good impression."

"Loyalty. Something from a bygone era."

"I don't mean to pry, but is something troubling you?"

"You know, you have one of those faces. The kind that's vaguely familiar."

"How close am I to getting punched in the face right now?"

"If you ever break into my apartment again, I'll stab you in the eye."

"Keep talking. You're about five seconds away from the most humiliating moment of your life."

"I hate feeling like a victim! I don't like it!"

"I wouldn't do that. There's no crying in here."

"It has been pointed out to me that I have grown reckless."

"Fear stops when you kill the thing you're afraid of... Or it kills you."

"I am trying my best to be civil. You don't want to see what happens when I stop."

"You said I could be whole, but how can that happen now?"

"Those that are good must suffer the same as those that are bad."

"I'm not going to tell you to get over yourself, but you should."

"When something feels that good, does a person ever just do it once?"

"Is there any fucked up thing you don't know about?"

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #specific; #crime drama; #filmtv; #chance;

[carmillas-vampiric-rage]

What if It All Happens Again?

trauma doesn't leave easily. it lingers. sticks to you like cobwebs. remains a part of you like a still bleeding scar. and sometimes even when you think you're getting better, your finally healing, the scabs start to tear away, creating a fresh new wound.

warnings: hurt/comfort. descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks. very very slight mention of s*icidal thoughts (it's very vague). trauma.

a/n: this is a very personal story. I've been going through a very difficult time this last year and i thought i was coming to the end of all that stuff. but it got pretty bad today. so I'm writing this. I'm proud of myself for doing something productive with these pains. 🍊

bi-han x black biracial reader (gn!)

you half distractedly set your hair pick on your nightstand, staring at nothing in particular. your throat felt tight and uneasy sensations kept seeping into your chest and stomach. you finally gathered your kinky hair into a bun before wrapping your head in your silk headpiece, and that's when you realized you hadn't been listening to bi-han at all.

he'd been talking about today's mission. something about the next "champion" -bi-han's phrasing- liu kang had gone to find along with him and his brother kuai liang. "mediocre actor" and "imbecile" were only a few of the words you could focus on bi-han saying as your mind plagued you with your doubts. the ever looming thoughts that you were usually able to keep at bay. it's gonna happen again, i'm going to lose everything again. thoughts you'd gotten so much better at not letting take over your mind and body. but tonight was one of your worse nights, those thoughts were spilling into your mind, ever looming, as if they'd manifested into a large shadow figure that was always at the corner of your eye, reminding you of your failures, of how nothing good ever lasted for you, that you were doomed to repeat the same sorrows and traumas you'd barely began to heal from.

soon everyone here will hate me, just like they did back home. I'll be despised and abandoned and just like i was before...

your heartbeat was thundering now and your chest was tight, it felt hard to swallow but you did anyway, again, again, almost obsessively, even though you knew it wouldn't ease the block in your throat. it was getting more difficult to breathe, like weights were pressed up against your lungs, your stomach felt empty and hollow and you realized how tense your lower body felt. how you tensed up your thighs were as if ready to run if the thoughts kept plaguing you. your lower back ached and you moved to ease some of the tension. they'll find a reason to be rid of you, just as they did before.. you're never truly safe or liked... and it'll be my fault..I'll deserve it...

you heard bi-han speak your name and you snapped out of your drowning. he sounded slightly irritated, which was usual, as if he'd been calling your name several times already.

"mhm?" you responded, trying not to sound as anxious and depressed as you felt. you sat on the edge of your shared bed, back to him, foot lightly kicking your nightstand. bi-han stood on the other side, still fully clothed, not bothering to get comfortable as he ranted.

"did you not hear me?"

"i must have zoned out, I'm sorry my love." the smile you gave him did not meet your eyes and bi-han immediately picked up on that. "you have not heard anything i've just said did you?"

"no, no, i was listening." you lied turning your back again. "he's a cheesy wannabe actor who has no business in the tournament. i heard you." you turned again, only to smile at him again. and bi-han could still tell it didn't meet your eyes. he narrowed his own eyes at you.

"what is the matter?" he asked- moreso demanded of you.

you gave a long sigh and shrugged before absently running the fabric of your robe between your fingers. "it's nothing really, I'm listening i promise, tell me again how you broke this guy's priceless vase- I'm listening." you turned fully to face him. it was almost as if you were pleading with him. you were now tapping your thigh aggressively, to which bi-han also noticed.

i don't even deserve any of them liking me.. loving me... i don't deserve it.. how worthless can one be if they're hated by everyone?

"if something is wrong, just tell me. i know you don't want to hear about this tournament drivel." his voice sounded intense, mean, he wasn't even necessarily angry at you, he was always angry, but seldom at you, he never liked when you tiptoed around things, he just wanted you to say it.

you turned your face away, opening your mouth to speak, but a soft cry escaped your lips, one you tried to force down, and tears began brimming in your eyes.

bi-han's eyes widened. the realization you weren't just being weird with him for the sake of it hitting him in the face. in one of those rare moments, bi-han's anger dissipated, replaced only by concern, confusion. had someone hurt you? said something to you?

you tried to stop the tears from flowing down your face as your chest tightened and that uneasy sensation washed over you again, you finally felt how tired your body was. you brought a hand to your face as you began to cry, unable to hold all the pent up emotions in anymore.

bi-han was by your side in an instant. strong arms taking a hold of you. he pushed himself as close as he could to you, the contact sending something different to your body than panic and worry.

comfort.

but your tears still didn't stop, and your muscles still weren't relaxed. you tried to avoid him looking at you but he found your gaze.

"tell me what is the matter my dearest, I'm right here." though still intense, his voice was softer, quieter.

you only cried before trying to take a breath and speak.

"you do not need to suffer needlessly, my love, I'm right here with you." he brushed your cheek gently, wiping some of the tears away. you finally could face him, still crying as you rested your forehead firmly against his. he leaned firmly into you, steadying you, his strong arms still around you.

"i'm-" you started trying to take another breath. bi-han took one first, a long slow breath in, then out. it was something he silently always did whenever you panicked like this. wordlessly breathing in to show you you could do the same. and so you did, trying to follow his steady breaths with your uneaven ones.

"i'm just so worried again, about everything that's happened." your voice was raw and still shaking. but bi-han only took another deep breath, silently inviting you to do the same. as you exhaled you continued.

"I'm still so new here, in your home, in this realm.I'm still just.. not over it all. what if i lose this all again. what if I'm cast out, with no home, and nowhere to go. hated by everyone who looks at me. ridiculed and judged. hated by people i thought were my family... my friends...what if it all happens again?" your voice broke again, and you began sobbing more intensely. bi-han's brows furrowed in concern and a rare show of heartbreak. you'd talked to him of your previous life. the one you lived in outworld. the one you described with such adoration, such love and fondness. but also such sadness, such regret and anger. it pained him each and every time you spoke of it.

"where will i go if you all cast me out too? if i disappoint you all like I probably will? it'll be me, then won't it? I'm the issue. the pariah. no one cares about me. how can i bare it when another realm of beings hate me." bi-han felt his chest ache. an uncomfortable feeling. one he seldom felt. he wanted to fix it all. to be able to reach inside of you and take the pain away. to make sure you'd never have to deal with so much worry and sadness again.

you sobbed now. your foreheads still pressed together. the both of you still tangled in one another. bi-han spoke quietly.

"you will not be cast out from here, my love. i know it. but-" he paused a moment, trying to find the right words. he took another deep breath hoping you'd follow, and you did as best you could, though your breath was shakier than ever. "-but if that somehow happens... that still doesn't say anything about you. outworld, earth realm. they can all hate you, but that says nothing. absolutely nothing. they don't know you. how can they possibly when none of them even bothered to try? they can't see what's inside of you. your passion. heart. love. anger. will to survive. you're a good person. and even if all the realms in the universe tell you otherwise. they know nothing of who you are. you're better off without ones who would cast you off so easily.nthe ones that truly care for you will earn it. and show it."

your sobs had quieted down. but you wanted to cry again. bi-han's words hurt, but not because they were hurtful themselves. it was so incredibly hard to say nice things about yourself, to truly believe you were a good person. worthy of love for yourself. you craved connection. validation. and having that all ripped from you from the only home you knew- who'd thrown you out like a worthless stain meant to be washed out...it had broken you.

you took in a very shaky breath. realizing your hands were gripping onto bi-han for dear life. but he hadn't let go of you. arms held securely around you, his head against yours- grounding you, helping you get out of your own mind.

it couldn't happen again. it couldn't. because you weren't sure if you'd be able to survive if it did.

soon you found yourself laying across from him, limbs tangled still, as he gently brushed any lingering tears off your face. you felt your eyes getting heavy. sleep finally taking a hold of you. but you both looked at each other, gently, lovingly, as he caressed your face. you held onto him still, foreheads barely touching, and sleep had almost wrapped it's embrace over you when bi-han placed a kiss to your forehead and put a strong, heavy hand on your lower back, rubbing small circles.

you crumpled into him, burying your face into the crook of his neck. and he held you there. not saying anything more. just occasionally inviting you to take deep breaths with him. rubbing calming circles on your back, your arms, your shoulders. he felt so safe. so comforting. the pang of hurt would come into your head now and again, of everything repeating like it had for so long, but you just pressed yourself further into bi-han, escaping from the shadows and drowning as best you could as he rested his cheek against your covered hair.

"i love you, my dearest. unconditionally. and you are worthy of that love for yourself too."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

#mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #bi han #sub zero #mk1 bi han #mk1 sub zero #mortal kombat 1 bi han #mortal kombat 1 sub zero #bi han x black biracial reader #bi han x black reader #bi han x reader #bi han x you #sub zero x black biracial reader #sub zero x black reader #sub zero x reader #sub zero x you #mk1 fanfic

[good-beanswrites]

I DM'd you a passage from the tarot cards fic. Director's commentary, please? ^_^

Ahh this was so fun, thank you so much!! Overexplaining details in a scene my beloved >:3

I wrote all my headcanons and assumptions as if they're facts to save myself from adding "I like to think" to the beginning of every sentence, but just know that I'm aware they don't have canon backing lol. Also my commentary mentions Fuuta and Mikoto's relationship, but the whole fic is pretty vague with it. I love keeping things at the stage of comfortable kindness, where it's easy for the reader to take things both platonically and romantically depending on what headcanons they're bringing to it. It's not necessarily catering to readers since I enjoy both interpretations -- I wrote it with both in mind, and I'll reread it differently depending on the day.

(From What's that Yugioh quote about cards)

“I'm doing this to show you how these readings are just crap. Now. First card.” [Fuuta] flipped it without any of the theatrics Mikoto had enjoyed. “Hm.” He squinted at the strange picture and read the title. “We’ve got a Four of Cups.” 

Fuuta kind of did want to cheer Mikoto up, but doesn’t like how sentimental it sounds to think of it like that. Even if he did admit to himself that’s what he was doing, he wouldn’t know how to comfort him in a nice way, so he’s just picking a distracting activity and hoping it works. Also this spread was actually drawn by me irl! I had to modify one card in Fuuta’s (not telling which one though, hehe). I did consider having Mikoto draw the Hanged Man as his last card, but that felt too forced and cheesy lol

“Reversed Four of Cups,” Mikoto said before turning his gaze to the ceiling. 

“Reversed? It’s right side up to you.”

“You’re doing a reading for me?”

“Duh?” 

It might seem obvious that Fuuta was doing a reading for him given the setup/dialogue, but from Mikoto’s pov, no one’s ever done that before. In all the years he’s been doing tarot, people really just focus on their own future and how to learn tarot for their own activities. No one’s thought to do a reading for him. He’s more surprised than touched right now, though, because of how tired he is. It’ll really hit him later that night, when he realizes that this was the first time someone did that for him. 

Mikoto bit back a comment that he should have gotten to touch the cards, if that were the case. He didn’t feel like getting into it with Fuuta right now, no matter how playful a matter it may be.

Mikoto (and Yuno) are the type who don’t take Fuuta's attitude personally. They can enjoy the back-and-forth of bickering for hours without it exhausting them. Even though Mikoto didn’t experience much during the interrogation, he’d be emotionally tired out in general. Plus, I picture the process of extracting videos to be physically taxing. Something that invades and activates your neurons would definitely leave you pretty wiped afterwards. (<- girl who has too many thoughts about how the mv machine works but will spare you the explanation)

“So… it looks like in the past… you had a lot of cups… and got a weird one from the sky. Are you religious?”

“Huh? Not really.”

“Not God then. I don’t fucking know where it came from. Maybe it’s a ‘life gives you lemons’ thing. You got too much on your plate?”

Mikoto stayed silent.

I messed myself up in this upcoming section because I was too excited about figuring out the card meanings in relation to Mikoto. I should have just looked at them as they were and guessed the meanings the way that Fuuta might. It was difficult having just read this card’s specific meaning and then trying to put myself in the shoes as someone who didn’t know it😂 I left and came back to this section a lot, I wrote the fic over a few months in between other things. It helped dull my memory on the actual meaning and get into Fuuta's character more.

Also I’m adding “life gives you lemons” to the list of phrases I use in my fics knowing it’s an English phrase/idiom they definitely wouldn't use, but I liked its exact connotation so I kept it in. It's cliche and informal and someone like Fuuta would be sick of hearing it from adults. He'd know Mikoto feels the same. I debated on giving Fuuta more lines about religion here – I do think he’s starting to consider it more at this point in time – but decided it brought the fic too off-course from where I wanted it.

“Whatever. Next card… the present. This one’s upside down to you. A knight – hey, I got a knight, too, remember?”

Fuuta actually does know that the specific term is “reversed,” Mikoto just said it, but doesn’t want to seem like he cares so he doesn't use the term. Still, he doesn’t really know how being reversed changes the meaning, so he interprets the picture normally. 

Mikoto blinked. He did remember – he was shocked that Fuuta did. That reading had ended on such a sour note all those months ago. He didn’t think the other had given it another moment of thought. There came the tiniest surge of pride that Fuuta had committed it to memory.

I wanted to play around more with memory here but could never get it to work!!! Fuuta doesn’t really have any themes around memory so it wasn’t that notable that he remembered. Mikoto’s memory has holes specifically around stressful events, so it’s not impressive he remembered, either. So… despite having the perfect opportunity to talk about cool insights/emotions, it simply wasn’t a big deal -_- It still works to reveal that they both care a lot about each other, which is why I left it as is. It was a brief moment months ago, but both held onto the memory all this time.

“Damn, another cup. Well, if it does mean life keeps throwing stupid shit at you, then yeah, this prison has been the stupidest shit of them all.”

Fuuta picked up the final card. He let out a laugh. It was something mocking, but it tickled Mikoto. “Heh, you sure are a fool. That’s some outfit. Still better than yours right now.” He flicked the card at Mikoto’s chest, where it bounced off his mangled uniform. 

As someone who is completely endeared by Fuuta’s awful laugh, I think Mikoto wouldn’t mind either if it sounded teasing/cruel. Especially after all the pain Fuuta’s been through T2, Mikoto probably didn’t hear him laugh in a very long time, and the sound can be contagious. I always wonder about Mikoto's uniform... was like that from his fight with Kotoko, or just from John wrecking his room? Is it like that all of T2, or does Es gives him a replacement? I felt like he would be cleaned up by the time his interrogation rolled around, but his album art is just as much of a mess, so I guess ratty uniform it is...

Mikoto retrieved the card. He sat up as he returned it to the spread. He studied them. 

Mikoto was enjoying Fuuta’s version of the cards, but didn’t have the energy to read them along with him. This is the first time he taps into his own knowledge of the tarot meanings and realizes what a good spread it actually is. I wanted to linger here in this moment more, but everything I wrote became too “telling.” As the fic was from Mikoto’s pov, I felt like I’d need to take the reader through what he was thinking about in the silence. That ended up defeating the purpose of the peaceful moment lol

He allowed himself a small smile. “So,” he asked, “what’s it all mean?”

Fuuta scowled. “I just told you what it meant.”

“No, now you look at the big picture.” Mikoto shook his head. “You left before I could finish your reading, but you’re supposed to look at everything together and make a plan for the future. I… I still remember yours. I was going to tell you to mind your emotions, and prepare for a big change coming quickly. But uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess it’s a little late for that, huh?”

“A little.”

Once again wishing I could do more with memory given that Mikoto still remembers Fuuta’s exact reading after so many months, and once again leaving it as a testament to his relationship with Fuuta. I can only hope it speaks for itself when looking at the fic normally ;--; I still haven’t decided if that last line from Fuuta should be read as an angry snap or a disappointed whisper. He’s still very bitter about his situation, and the fact that Mikoto is telling him to ‘mind his emotions’ and reminding him of his pain are enough to make him lash out. At the same time, maybe bringing it all up makes him recognize that his hot temper did caused him harm, several times. He can hear how genuinely Mikoto speaks, and feels guilty for treating him so harshly then. I go back and forth depending on my own mood…

“So, to finish off my reading, what advice do you give me based on these?” 

Fuuta made a show of rolling his eyes and huffing, as if this hadn’t been his idea to begin with.

My favorite way to write Fuuta is having him do something nice, and then immediately get mad at the other person because suddenly he’s embarrassed about it.

 “This is so lame. My advice…?” He jabbed a finger at The Fool. “Don’t do anything fucking stupid in the future.”

I originally wrote out a bit of a longer speech of advice, with Fuuta mentioning how he knows school/work can be overwhelming, and this prison is overwhelming, and not to do anything in the future because there are people relying on him. Fuuta was relying on him. It was a bit vulnerable and finally explicitly mentioned his feelings towards Mikoto. I read it back, heaved a sigh, said “he wouldn’t fucking say that,” and cut it down to just this line 👍I'm not too disappointed, though, since Mikoto can see right through Fuuta (both with his people skills and the fact that Fuuta is very obvious about his emotions). Anything he would have confessed, Mikoto already knows.  

Mikoto looked from him to the cards, then back again.

“...That’s it?”

“What more do you want?” Fuuta raised his voice, and Mikoto found it in him to laugh. 

Mikoto also hasn’t laughed (genuinely) all of T2 :( This one starts off kind of forced – he had to “find it in him” to play along with the way a conversation is supposed to go. But it feels natural once he does, and the next time I mention his attitude he feels “back to his old self.” In this moment he’s considering antagonizing Fuuta by teasing his advice, asking for more, or just poking at his temper. He chooses not to. Instead of avoiding their bickering because he’s tired, he cuts Fuuta a break because he’s really grateful for the kind gesture.

“Alright, alright, I’ll take it.”

#milgram #mikoto kayano #fuuta kajiyama #from that dvd commentary ask game :) #chronic overexplainer gets enabled to overexplain 🎉🎉🎉 peace and love on planet earth #thank you pal!!! #im not big on many milgram ships but i gotta say 0309 and 0909(09) creators have started to infiltrate my brain a lil.... #taking any and every chance to share my fuuta laugh compilation 👍 #fanfic

[coffee-cait]

Hi there @tea-n-ink !

Figured it'd be easier to try and answer this as a post rather than in comments. I'll try to answer the best I can but in all honesty I'm not entirely sure how to answer this question in a way that will be satisfying or insightful. Because while I have an education in visual media and work in the field (which contributes to the studying and progress), a lot of my personal work has been (for lack of a better way to phrase it) "fucking around and finding out" for better AND for worse. A lot of how I work is both in contrast to what's required of me of my job but also based on habits built to perform that job. So I'm not confident in how much I could recommend approaching art the way I do or how applicable it will be. I can only speak to my own experience. Everyone will want to achieve and pursue different things with their art so I don't think there's going to be a specific answer of exactly what to do. I think I can only recommend some amount of framework to consider at best? I'm also not a good writer and struggle to articulate specifics especially when it comes to my creative process because it's very uh…. soupy? unstructured? But I want to make an attempt! I'm so sorry if this ends up being a rambling mess.

I haven't done studies/ brushing up on basics for a few years and I'm actively feeling the limits of how I draw because of that. So I absolutely would recommend brushing up on the fundamentals and doing studies every now and then to help prevent that kind of rut. I feel like it's something to do relatively consistently? It's like stretching and exercising a muscle to keep it in shape. However, how much and how frequent a person does that is going to be up to them based on what their lifestyle is and I feel this is more of something to consider to do long term over time rather than in short term bursts. But if you have the time to do a lot in the short term and won't impede life responsibilities then that's great! Just remember to take breaks because sometimes what you've learned and observed needs time to sink in. But also to protect your hands and physical health.

As for the "just do studies" / what studies to do, I guess a bit of a combination answer incoming? Because of the nature of my job (what is asked of me and MIGHT be asked of me), doing studies is going to be of the vague/broad variety because of how much possible ground I might need to cover. So I've done studies, sketches, looked at reference material etc. of a bunch of different things for years. A majority was outside of my comfort zone and I think it's important to try to to challenge yourself in such a way every once in a while. And definitely trying to explore many different topics (people, plants, architecture, animals, etc) will give more knowledge and possibilities of things to draw. However, it's also not very realistic to expect anyone to study everything to its minutia. I sure can't! I can try my best to draw some basic structures but I don't have enough knowledge and practice to make a convincing cityscape. And even with all the dabbling in different topics I've had to do, I still focus in more on the most likely things that's required of me or what I personally enjoy to draw on my free time. That tends to be characters. So when I do need to brush up I lean towards anatomy, musculature, human observation, that sort of thing. And I feel regardless of what anyone's style is, If you want to draw figures of any sort, practicing and revisiting that is always helpful! Also doing studies of specific things you want to improve on or things you are aware are your weakness is also an avenue I recommend. I think the last studies I did was of hands because it was something I wanted to improve on at the time. And I think it's high time I give buildings another shot.

As for style it wasn't something I actively worked on or envisioned. Rather, it was the inevitable mishmash of the aesthetic choices I liked in the artwork I enjoyed, habits I formed and not wanting to draw how I needed to during work hours. And this was a slow and gradual process over my whole life so far and it'll keep on going as long as I continue doing art. And I wouldn't consider it a linear progression either as there were many points where I backpedaled on certain choices because I didn't want to do things like that anymore and went another direction. As for how to develop and refine this actively, I can't say for sure. But what I can say is a person's style will be a love letter to the things they enjoy. Inevitably you'll be influenced by the things that speak to you and you might not realize it until years down the line. In my case, Jet Set Radio was something I played as a kid and it deeply impacted how I drew and what art I gravitated to for years before I realized how formative it was. The more you consume what you enjoy, the more it'll show in your art whether consciously or not. I suppose a potential exercise that can be done is maybe looking at several pieces of art you enjoy and trying to figure out exactly what it is about them that you like? Especially if maybe you find a common element to their styles that really speaks to you that you'd like to incorporate into your own art? While I can't say how effective this'll actually be, if I were to say, "Jet Set Radio, The World Ends With You and Dogs: Bullets & Carnage are things that had a lasting impression on me," and then you were to look at my art I think that statement would track.

But I also want to note that when I create I'M ACTUALLY VERY UNSURE OF MYSELF. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT IM DOING WITH COLOURS AND I'M CONSTANTLY JUST HOPING FOR THE BEST EVERY TIME EVEN THOUGH I DID GO TO SCHOOL FOR WHAT I DO AND I SURE DO WORK HERE NOW. I rely a lot on my gut for things and end up trying over and over, sometimes fully scrapping and then unscrapping before my art gets to whatever I post online. And many things just never end up online. Sometimes things don't work out, and that's ok. And sometimes it feels like things won't work out but then they do. So don't feel discouraged when things don't work out the way you planned. I've found for myself, having a plan in my head of how i want to progress would just contribute to my already abundant anxieties so just letting things happen as they do was really helpful (outside of actual critical deadlines and professional responsibilities). There's always chances to try again and sometimes all you need is a break and to come back to what you were working on with fresh eyes.

I dunno how well this answers your question but I hope you were able to find something helpful amongst my brain soup.

#replies

[causeitsagame]

For the fic ask meme! Literally all of them? I’m so curious

Well, it made the most sense to answer this particular ask and let it cover others!

ANSWERS INCOMING.

Keyboard or notebook?

KEYBOARD. When I write by hand, my wrist soon hurts. (Old tendonitis from undergrad, it loves to flare up.) But my fingers can fly across the keyboard fast enough to keep up with any words as they come. When I get into a groove, I can type awfully fast. My single-day writing record was around 18k words, but uhhhh that has not been approached since.

Now, the risk of typing on a keyboard: the computer has all of those other fascinating elements lurking behind the writing window, and it's just so, so easy to tab over to them. To counter this impulse, I'll often fire up Composition Mode in Scrivener, which takes over the screen and hides all of the other things I could be doing.

Beta or no beta?

I don't use a beta, but I do have a writing buddy. We mutually talk each other through knotty/stubborn structural plot elements of our current pieces, and that's where writing challenges usually lie for me.

In terms of cleaning up the fundamentals, I typically do two things before making anything public. One, I bump the font size way up and/or change the font, to make it look like a "new story." Two, I read every word out loud. I've found this to be an incredible way to catch awkward phrasings, repeated words, run-on sentences, etc. that I'd otherwise miss. (It can also help with pinning down character voices if I go full Audio Book Voiceover and add in some vocal flair for each line of dialogue. But you need to be willing to feel like a little bit of an idiot for that part.)

Plot?

My writing buddy constantly makes (friendly) fun of me for how much I'm into PLOT. I cut my teeth on the Wheel of Time and A Song of Ice and Fire series as a younger reader, and those authors fucking. Love. PLOT!

Foreshadowing! Plot twists! Callbacks! The tiniest of hints! The smallest of details! ("No one cares about those details nearly as much as you do, [Miggy]." "DON'T CARE.")

I will say that GRRM's famous Architect vs. Gardener paradigm doesn't fit my plotting style, though. I use what I've dubbed a Road Trip approach, and I'd explain that here, but this is already long enough! I can do it at some other point if anyone's interested?

Smushy or smutty?

I'm fine with smut, I guess, but I prefer it to serve a plot purpose. "These two, overcome with desire for each other, are overjoyed to be reunited" is an example of a place where it could absolutely contribute to the narrative, for example. Otherwise, I'd rather just stick to emotional development and find it to be generally more engaging.

Summary?

Fucking hate them. Ugh. I usually do a quote from the story and then a vague description. Worst part of posting to AO3, truly.

Funniest fic?

Probably something that was lost in my old Livejournal account? I filled an incredible number of anon fic meme prompts there and some of them were actually quite hilarious.

(I miss anon prompt memes so bad. :( That's a huge thing that both Tumblr and AO3 lack.)

Most popular fic?

Legal Partners (Ace Attorney), and it's not close.

Most fun to write?

Probably a poll-driven fic series that I did on Livejournal. I'd write the setup, let people vote on the outcome, and have to figure out how to make it work for the next installment. It was incredibly fun and engaging, riiiiiiight up until some people decided to start setting up a bunch of burner accounts to cheat and managed to ruin the experience for everyone. 🙄

Best and worst?

Worst would definitely be one of the random Yuletide fills I've done. I like the idea of Yuletide, where you gift someone with a fic in a tiny fandom they'd never otherwise get to read. But in reality, the recipients kept adding specific details about romance, timeline, events, etc. that went beyond what they were supposed to provide. As an author, you're technically not constrained by anything beyond the requested fandom and a few specified characters. But if the recipient makes their preferences so very clear, then you're unfortunately faced with a choice between "write the specific thing that would apparently make them happy" and "write a story that you can actually envision, structure, and be proud of." There's a reason I haven't done Yuletide for years.

Best? Well. See. Okay.

I challenged myself to write the stupidest crossover possible. Which meant that I had to make it work. Which meant that I needed to worldbuild. I needed to plot. Weave in foreshadowing. Explain the details. Respect both universes, both in content and mood.

The end result: a Marvel/Glee crossover (really) that a Hugo & Nebula winner has repeatedly encouraged me to file the serial numbers off of, to publish as original work.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Most underrated?

Special, the answer to the last question. I've downloaded it as an eBook, and when I've reread it on a plane (or wherever), I do find myself going "man, this IS good."

Strengths?

Plot. :D For the reasons previously detailed. I try not to hold back from swinging at the fences with developments, both negative and positive. At the same time, I want any positives to feel earned and I want any negatives to carry proper dramatic weight, which means not otherwise rolling around in gratuitous suffering.

I just got some great and thoughtful AO3 comments on my current story (need to reply to comments!!!) and this one: "I called it. I FUCKING called that unimaginable agony and pain was coming!"

came two chapters after this one:

"I’m falling in love with these kids so much. Which can only mean we’re in for a whole lotta pain in a chapter or two."

That's what I'm going for, along with the bad -> good reverse direction, too. (…Usually.) I'm basically a Nagito of plotting. You know: hope leads to despair, and vice versa. I want to elevate the mood before everything crumbles, for the reader will feel even more despondent if everything falls from even greater heights. Or flip it around, and happiness feels like an even bigger relief if the plot previously didn't seem to allow for the slightest scrap of it.

Weaknesses?

I absolutely know that this comes from cutting my teeth on fic: environmental descriptions. It felt weird and repetitive to describe locations that any fan would be familiar with, so that led to me glossing over descriptions of where things were happening. Which is all well and good if it's in an existing location, I suppose; a DR fan doesn't need a loving description of a HPA classroom.

But! While editing, I'll often see that I've done the same thing for some new spot, as well. I'll have an image of this new place in my mind, but that description doesn't make it onto the page with more than a few loosely-sketched lines. That doesn't just harm the story's overall quality, but it also lessens the emotional reaction of the reader as they can't wholly picture the scenes as they happen. It's something I keep kicking my own butt over as I repeatedly catch this pretty fundamental error in editing.

Dirty little secrets?

This 'dirty little secret' is all about how I've tee-heed over some reader reactions.

I think the behavior itself is good! For a story of any real length, I have a cardinal rule that I always, always follow: "every important character has to screw up at some point." No one is allowed to be a perfect cinnamon roll, in other words, while other less ~awesome~ people handle the fuck-ups.

Why it's a dirty little secret: I have giggled a LOT in private over responses I've gotten from clear [their favorite character] stans… because they blatantly ignore how their favorite also screwed up. They've cheered me on for having [their non-favorite] fuck up, and are so relieved that I obviously hate [their non-favorite], too.

Meanwhile, other people have told me the exact same thing... but with the two characters reversed! It's just such a blatant example of how people will have their stan blinders on. It amuses me every single time, even if I never ever mention specific examples outside of private conversations.

(Knowing that I have my own stan blinders is what keeps me using that rule, by the way. My favorites have gotta fuck up just like everyone else. Fair's fair!)

#Anonymous #writing stuff #is this a tag? i guess now it is

[k1nky-fool]

GREAT CHAPTER!!! Loved every word. FINALLY, they did something about that sexual tension that's been there since day one! They're so fucking cute with their flirty banter, (they've always had it, but now it feels more special. Deeper, in a way). And they just keep adopting kids, Mita is like a magnet. Also, I didn't expect Sevika to be the one to save the girl, nice touch!

My favorite line is definitely: "Like every other time since meeting him, Vander is there to fill the void that her courage has left empty". It describes their relationship in such a beautiful way; how they accept and compliment each other, and how they will always be there for the other, in any way they need it. With trust being the backbone of their relationship, and in a moment as intimate as that, that phrase has a lot of weight. Mita has never had the luxury of relying on someone, much less on an emotional level, but sharing that moment with Vander shows her that she can have that now, unconditionally. Of course, I think she knew that already, but now it's more tangible than ever.

Also love that Mylo shows interest in learning from Mita. I think he's very insecure about his abilities and his place in the gang, so finding something to learn and excel at is great for him. She found her student, and I think she'll really enjoy igniting that passion further within him, knowing it'll be his choice entirely, breaking the cycle she was forced into.

Anyways, I'm loving the fic so far and the direction it's taking! Your characterization is *chef's kiss* and the dialogue is very natural and compelling. YOU'RE AWESOME AND SO TALENTED AND YOU GOT ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET WITH FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.

Love youuu, take care and drink water! Thank you for such an amazing chapter!!!

@gatnalien always got me

I knew from the start that I wanted a dash of slowburn sexual tension in this, and since Part 6 will be the climax of the story, I knew exactly where to put their break. I plan to have 7 parts total, but the last one will likely be just epilogue.

I knew I wanted to redeem Sevika in some way just because what we do see of her character is fairly complex. Her morals are gray, but we definitely do see things that she stands for and certain places she draws the line. I definitely think she wouldn't stand for this as soon as she figured it out.

Now, idk how many people saw the little easter egg, but the girl that Sevika got out is definitely someone that my readers know. If you've read from other Arcane fics of mine, then the character traits from the other fic and the clues from Least Sane Moments might start lining up a little too well.

I knew from the start of Minute as a character that she'd want to pass her swords down to someone that could understand why they're important. The most important thing to Mita would be the student choosing to study. I think Mita definitely sees potential in him. He's not as physically strong as Vi or Claggor, and I think that he'd have a vague interest in more elegant forms of defense, much the same way he doesn't seem to like using blunt force for most things. (Thinking specifically to the balcony break in, dude was not happy with smashing shit like that).

While I'll unfortunately never get the chance to write what Mylo might be like if he got the chance to complete his training with Mita, do not fret that Mita will never have another student. I do like connecting fics, after all.

I definitely didn't forget to drink water for the last 5 hours whaaaaaaaaaat

#if nobody got me gatnalian got me #arcane oc #arcane #arcane fanfic #vander x oc

[netherworldpost]

I have a lot of respect for you being so joyously yourself and encouraging others to do the same. As someone looking for a way back to being a happy/ier weirdo but just trying to figure out how to overpower the embarrassment right now, I find your blog is very encouraging. May the moon light all your nights in its varying phases.

If the embarrassment is coming from within, experiment more.

Stop comparing to others, analyze and seek inspiration from them. But don't compare. Other lives are impossible to replicate and resource draining to try. When you find yourself comparing and attempting to replicate instead of experimenting, experiment more. Broaden your sources.

If it is coming from people you know, develop and enforce stronger boundaries.

Communicate them, clearly and repeatedly. if they cannot respect them, remove them from your life. Wish them well, block them on everything, every time you consider thinking of them again -- do something fun and distracting.

If the is coming from strangers, develop emotional distance.

Once in awhile I'll post a thing and folks will get riled up. It is rare because I'm not a purposefully controversial figure, so self-selection via following / unfollowing my work does great for shifting my audience. Recently I've hired a personal assistant to help with this even more, they just delete the garbage before it gets to me.

I live in a large city, so it's fairly rare someone on the street gives me a second look (also, covid times, but I've been Leaning This Way forever), but the point stands.

I work for the moon. I say this a lot and I do not ever elaborate.

Maybe it means something, maybe it is a religious phrase. Maybe it means nothing, maybe it is a flicked wrist hand vague hand gesture that dismisses further inquiry. Maybe it is an inside joke that only a handful of people know, or just I know. Maybe I literally mean "I work for the celestial, non-sentient chunk of rock that has been orbiting the earth and influencing its surface for 4+ billion years."

It doesn't matter because there is a 0% chance of elaboration coming forward.

The part of it that does matter -- if I were to lose my entire online audience tomorrow, if every single person and institution that has bought / is lining up to buy my work / who shares my rambles / who hits the ol' heart-like-share button stops hitting the ol' heart-like-share button --

-- I would keep going at the same pace, with the same work, forever.

It is immensely joyful when people like my work, when they share it with their friends, when they say "look at this weird thing."

But ultimately I work for the moon.

So when people try to embarrass me because they are here for... who knows what reason... I shrug it off and either myself or my assistant sends their commentary into the shred pile. If the embarrassment attempt is vulgar, queerphobic, cruel (you get the picture), one of us just blocks them.

External negative opinions do not matter. They hold no weight. They aren't commentary because of wrong-doing, they aren't requests to modify language/action because they are adversely affecting your fellow humans, they are just opinions.

Practice the above.

When you fail -- when you are embarrassed that you fail -- cycle through this again to give yourself the grace of starting fresh.

As you become more of who you actually are, the easier all of this is.

Good luck.

Dye your hair. I recommend blue but there are other colors. Or don't!

[fenoderee]

Shinya [Drums] Interview

Our fourth solo interview is with Shinya, who is the foundation of the band. Shinya has been focusing on simple phrasing and groove in recent years, so how did he approach his latest album "Oboro"?

Basically I don't think about the details, I just do what comes to my mind and I don't worry about it.

-It seems that the songwriting process started very early on, but did you have the new album in mind from the beginning?

Shinya: That's right. I've been working on the songs for the new album. So we decided to release a single, and we talked about which of our existing songs we should release as a single, and "Oboro" was chosen.

-In your case, I personally feel that you've always written songs with a lot of energy or beauty. When you were thinking about the album, what kind of ideas and images did you have in your mind in the early stages of composition?

Shinya:I didn't really think about it before I wrote the song, I just started writing it, and as a result, I couldn't write anything but intense stuff.

-When you say "intense," do you mean songs with a fast BPM?

Shinya: That's right.

-There are several ways to compose a song, how did you do it this time?

Shinya: Recently, I've been using a plug-in guitar instrument that I really like. It has a lot of heavy sounds in it, so I just play it and think about what I want to do.

-What kind of composition system do you currently have at home? It is known to your fans that you are an Apple fanatic, and you seem to be changing to the latest version every year. Do you use the same kind of system for your compositions?

Shinya: It's the other way around, I'm very minimalistic now. I only use one laptop for composing.

-Do you want to install all your DTM software on the computer?

Shinya: That's right. I don't play guitar anymore when I write songs, so I've removed the audio interface. It's a very compact period.

-At the time of this writing, you are touring the country with the "Meguro Rokumeikan Gig", but if you take that computer with you, you can compose music in your dressing room?

Shinya: If I wanted to, I could, but I don't think I will (laughs).

-Did it change the way you came up with the ideas and the process of shaping the songs?

Shinya: That's right. When I used to compose, I used to play my guitar at home and write riffs by myself. But now I don't have a guitar and I'm working on it, so I think the guitar phrases I make have changed.

-So the intense songs you wrote were not chosen for the single, but do you have any plans to make it into the album?

Shinya: The song wasn't selected when it was written, so it was probably rejected (laughs).

-That's not something to say while laughing (laughs). By the way, Shinya, you're the type of person who actively goes to see other people's live performances. I think the main reason is because it's your favorite band or artist, but I also think that seeing a live performance can stimulate you in terms of calligraphy and creative therapy. Now that I have become a member of Corona, I can no longer go to live concerts, and DIR EN GREY has almost completely stopped performing. What do you do for musical input in such a situation?

Shinya: Hmmm... I don't think so at the moment (laughs). Especially when it comes to music.

-Do you ever go through various albums and videos by yourself?

Shinya: No, I don't. I just use what I have inside me right now.

-Shinya's musical tastes are well known to his fans, but is there anything new that has resonated with you during this composing process?

Shinya: Hmmm... I haven't explored anything new in the other solutions.

-Did you go back to your roots and what you like?

Shinya: No, I didn't think about that too much, I just made the songs naturally.

-How did you spend your time at stay home, as a musician and as an individual?

Shinya: I was doing nothing but editing videos (laughs). That's why I was spending most of my time on my YouTube channel.

-I've been watching it for a while now, and I'm also a subscriber to the channel, so please answer me politely (laughs).

Shinya: Oh, thank you very much (laughs).

-Of course it's fun to do, but is there anything exciting about it?

Shinya: When I was working on it, I thought that it was very similar to songwriting. You can keep working on it, and it never ends.

-If you want to be particular, you can go all the way.

That's right, even for a single video, there are endless things you can do.

-The timing of inserting a subtitle, the choice of font, etc.

Shinya: Yes, yes (laughs). Once you start paying attention to the details, there's really no end to it. It's similar to songwriting..

-Is Shinya the type of person who spends a lot of time focusing on various aspects of a song, even when he's writing it individually?

Shinya : With DIR EN GREY, I always bring the original songs to the studio before I've finished them. I know that as the members' ideas come in, it will definitely change from the shape I've created. That's why I don't go into too much detail (laughs), I only make it to a certain point because it's going to change anyway. I try to make it so that the members can understand the side of the song.

-You said that when you select songs in the band, you don't know who wrote which song. Do you ever get feedback from the band members afterwards?

Shinya: I was asked afterwards about the songs I wrote this time. "That's Shinya's song." Then, he said, "Oh, I liked it."

-So you've had that conversation? If you listen to the demo, do you know who made it?

Shinya: Yes, you're right. Yes, I don't have a definitive answer, but I can vaguely tell.

-Although it wasn't adopted, it's nice to be told that it's your favourite song.

Shinya: Well...yes, but the song selection is a majority decision.

-There are always multiple layers to a song, but each time you're inspired to write a new song from a different angle?

Shinya: No, I don't have any particular plans at the moment, since I'm in the middle of an explosive screening (laughs ). Once the songwriting starts again, I'm sure I'll be motivated like you said. I still have my computer with me, but I'm not writing songs, I'm collecting videos (laughs).

-That's a good point (laughs). You've been working on the album for a long time, what do you hope to achieve with it?

Shinya: Up until now, I've been thinking of songs that can evolve in a live setting, but this time, even if we make an album, we don't know if we will be able to perform live or tour like we have in the past. So I've been thinking about it with that situation in mind.

-In other words, rather than evolving through live performances, do you have a sense of construction that evolves completely during the production process?

Shinya: Well, to put it simply, it's a nuance.

-Do you want to take a different approach to the drums?

Shinya: No, when it comes to drum phrases, I don't think about the details, I just do what comes to my mind. I don't worry about it too much.

-What was your impression of this single, "Oboro", when you heard the original song?

Shinya: Well... I was working on several songs at the same time, and I don't remember what the original "Oboro" song sounded like.

-Were the other songs that you were arranging and pre-producing at the same time too strong for you?

Shinya: It was all very strong. The drum approach for "Oboro" was just what I thought of when I heard the original song, without any worries.

We're going to do a live performance for an audience on the 6th of May, but we don't know what's going to happen after that, so we're going to do it as if it might be our last one.

-You said that you often set up an electric drum machine at home and make drum arrangements while playing, is this the same style you used for "Oboro" and the new songs you were working on?

Shinya: When I'm thinking of drum phrases, I don't use an electric drum but just use the mouse. In the past, I used to focus on the basic groove of the song, and I used to add drum phrases while actually playing the drums. But the period of thinking while playing is over now…

-I didn't know you had such a time frame in mind (laughs). Thinking with the mouse is a way of avoiding the first days of DTM, isn't it?

Shinya: Yes, it's the way we did it in the beginning. I think the period of time I was thinking about it while I was in the city changed my way of thinking about drum place. It's hard to describe it in words (laughs).

-I'll take care of that. I'm a subscriber to the Shinya Channel, so be nice to me (lol).

Shinya: Well, I guess I should say I've got it all figured out. I've learned about the advantages of using an electric drum and the differences between using a mouse and thinking with an electric drum, and now I'm able to create phrases and grooves with just a mouse while playing the electric drum, so I think it's not a problem. I can now type in rhythms and phrases with the same time signature as if I were actually playing.

-Do you find it easier to come up with something unexpected by not thinking of phrases as you play?

Shinya: Yes, one of the advantages of playing the piano is that you can create phrases that you can't edit. You can create phrases that you can't edit with your own hands. That's why I started thinking about drum arrangements by typing with the mouse in the early days. In this song "Oboro", I used the mouse a lot in the A melody and other phrases. The demo phrases that I came up with using only the mouse were much stronger and weaker, but when I actually played them on live drums, I couldn't get that level of intensity.

-Do you mean simply the volume?

Shinya: That's right. The core of each sound has to come out properly in live drums, so even if you add a strong instrument, if it's too weak, the core won't come out. The image was different from the one I had in the mouse, but it turned out good, so I didn't have any trouble. I also thought a lot about the guitar in the drum braise of "Oboro". It's the solo part.

-It's a drum approach that is making a difference.

Shinya: Yes. I tried to make a good movement when I hit it. The form of the striking and the movement of the arms are flowing.

-You have a large number of cymbals anyway, and they are set up around the effects cymbals. Effect cymbals have a shorter blue sustain than normal cymbals. That's why when you use a lot of cymbals, do you consider the tendency of the sound of each cymbal and the length of the sustain while constructing the phrase itself?

Shinya: That's what I'm trying to do, to make it so that it's smooth and the previous movements flow. But when we were recording, we didn't talk about it that much. At the live show, I think "I used this cymbal on the recording, but I'll use that cymbal at the live show", so at the live show, I try to pursue the movement more.

-You‘re a drummer who can go beyond. You mentioned that you bring the same cymbals and settings to your recordings as you do live?

Shinya: There are as many cymbals as there are live, but the tycoons are more like two thimbles, two toms and one floor. It's a set of two toms and one floor.

-I think it's important to be careful when making drum sounds.

Shinya: Yes, it is. The drums are the most important part of the sound. I leave it to the tuner. I asked the tuner to listen to a demo of a drum phrase that I typed in with my mouse, and then I asked him to create a drum sound that would fit the phrase. I didn't start working with the drum tuner on recordings until 2019 (The World of Mercy), and he also joined me on several occasions during the tour. The sound on that tour was so good that we started asking them to play on 'The World of Mercy'. It's easier to make a good sound in a live setting, but if the tuner can make a sound that I'm happy with, then I can trust him for the recording. For the recording of "Oboro", they tuned it to the sound I had imagined from the beginning.

-I get the impression that you always do your recordings without getting bogged down, but this time?

Shinya: Just like that. We also recorded the coupling song "T.D.F.F." at that time, but we didn't get stuck. But I recorded it part by part, so it took a bit longer. If I'm happy with the intro, I'll go on to the A melody, and so on, starting from the beginning of the song. It takes a lot of concentration to record each part. Also, sometimes the song isn't written until the day before, so I haven't memorised the phrases yet (laughs). The structure of "Oboro" wasn't even ready until the day before we recorded it. So when I played it, I put the recording side by side and concentrated on each part.

-What did you think of the coupling track "T.D.F.F."?

Shinya: I didn't change much in terms of drum phrases, but I tried to give it a bit more energy. As a result, there are a little less detailed snare phrases than on the original version.

-When you do a self-remake, do you tend to go in with a different stance than the original?

Shinya: It depends on how it's arranged. If the whole arrangement is completely different, I'll consider it a controversial piece and work on it. But basically, I try not to change the original phrases. When SUGIZO joined X JAPAN, he said, "Classical phrases are all different depending on the performer, even if the phrases are not changed“ . That's why SUGIZO said he was playing the same phrases as HIDE. That's why I want to show that although the phrases are the same, they are actually different.

-It's all luck. Even though the phrases are the same, each note is different, and this progression is the growth.

Shinya: Yes. It's a bit embarrassing to call it growth, but I think it's different even though it's the same phrase. But there are things that only the ward of that time could do, but there are also things that only the ward of today can do.

-What mode are you in as a drummer in 2021?

Shinya: I don't really think about it, I just want to play a good drum.

-When I started thinking about the phrases in Mouse, it was also the time when the Band started performing and touring overseas, and the Band's drummers and musicians that I played with at festivals and other events were always saying, "The drums in DIR EN GREY are so circular and amazing. I wondered if Shinya had some kind of special meaning behind the way he phrased the songs“ .

Shinya: Even if I say I've gone back, the way I put it on is completely different from back then. I was thinking of doing something complicated back then, but now I'm thinking of making it as simple as possible. I'm saying that now, but I think it will change depending on what kind of new songs I'm going to play. I'm going to release "Oboro" as a single, but I don't think you can see the spirit of the album from this song alone, in fact I think the album will have a completely different feel. In addition to "Oboro", the other songs on the album will have more impact in the direction of things. I may have done something uncomplicated before the drums... (laughs).

-By the way, today was the first time you met your fans in Osaka, are you getting more excited about the show?

Shinya: Yes, I am. We're going to play to an audience on May 6th, but after that we don't know what will happen. So I'm going to do it with the mindset that it might be my last live. I'm looking forward to seeing how it will be expressed in the actual live performance.

Text/ YUKINOBU HASEGAWA, HIROKI KATAGIRI [GiGS/Equipment]

Photo/ REISHI EGUMA [C-LOVe CREATORS]

Translations by me.

#Dir en grey #Dir en grey Shinya #Dir en grey translation #fan translation #interview translation #Shinya #GiGS #Oboro #Dir en grey Oboro #magazine

[fragmentwitch]

Pondering Eua and Re:Unanswered Questions

Me after finishing Gou:

I have several questions but I will spend most of this post trying to answer just one.

If a new rule allows Rika and Satoko to transfer to the same new fragment after dying, did she really keep track of which Rika since that was made only after the Chandelier death?

Is Gou Rika Matsuribayashi Rika? Or Chandelier Rika? If the Rika she gets in her happy ending isn't her actual original Rika, could this be the cost Eua might have vaguely warned about and not actually the loops bleeding into people's memories?

Is Satoko a piece of Lambdadelta along with Vier/LD3105/Mitsuyo and Eua a piece of Featherine's? And not actually Lambdatoko? Or is Ryukishi just trolling with having Eua babble nonsense (Thinking Emoji)

Where/when will the Logic Error occur?

I used to believe the error was in the original series going off the VERY VAGUE statement about the beginning and end being connected. Never has there ever been a perfectly airtight idea of what the real Logic Error is though, and the new mechanics shown by Gou really makes my brain hurt.

Are Hanyuu and Eua the same person? Are Eua and FEATHERINE the same person?

I continue to have hope Hanyuu doesn't get retconned into being a Big Bad Evil Demon Lady named Eua, despite mounting implications that suggest otherwise. I had originally been led to believe Hanyuu was a piece that was left to roam the game board by her Game Master: given that she's been part of the Hinamizawa world for 1k years I wondered for a bit if she was a Witch that somehow lost her memory. Kotohogushi is a bit dubious on the canonicity so I have to remind myself the translation about Hanyuu coming from a line of 'alien' like people transferring their consciousness from another dimension with a grain of salt.

But Eua looks so much like Featherine I've been rewatching her scenes lately and thinking... this line I really keep thinking about:

What did Eua mean by this? She phrases it like there is someone/something of a higher power than even herself.

In terms of ranking, Lambda described Aurora higher than Voyagers/Witches. She was one step below THE Creator (supposedly there is a typo where there is actually just One Creator and Aurora is merely a Witch with a comparable power to a creator but idk Japanese so cant verify this).

From the way she worded things, she isn't talking to Satoko exclusively: she's talking about Vier, LD3105, and Mitsuyo. Referencing that it took hundreds of millions of loops for Eua and Satoko to meet 'once more'. Surely this can't mean Rika's looping merely referring to Hanyuu and Satoko; that sort of looping sounds beyond 100 years' worth.

Could it be that Eua is a self-aware god piece referring to all the various Expies in the WTCverse as being the same person at the heart of things? Possibly... but let's remember that Featherine lost her memory when her device was damaged; Lambda described it as one severe enough to alter her memory, appearance, and personality. It happened once, and Featherine would likely be extremely guarded against letting it happen again. How it happened is one more mystery.

Back to Eua: when Satoko asks her to 'alter' the rules of the game, and she acts like it's no biggie, then this carries heavy implications of being the Game Master/Territory Lord. If she was merely a piece, no amount of self-awareness would make her capable of altering the actual rules on a whim would it?

There's also this line she spoke to Satoko in episode 18ish: "The horn that granted the cat power was damaged, but mine is not."

Note that she says horn singular. Not plural. She doesn't say "mine are not" and confirms Rika was given the looping ability by something external. Yet she doesn't assign it a name (Hanyuu), just refers to it as an object. Which might be a hint as to how Featherine might create piece Witches: her device might be a way of transferring loop power with more permanence that gets around a 'sponsorship' which can be withdrawn at the Witch's discretion.

Also recall that when Satoko touches the Oyashiro statue (whose arm is intact but has a hollow head), it shatters on the upper part and only one horn falls out onto the floor. Not a horseshoe shaped device like Featherine's. It's also black, while Eua's is all white. Yet Hanyuu's horns are still with one chunk missing and colored black. Eua also mentions she isn't supposed to even have a name, in fact, her meeting with Satoko seems almost by 'chance' (she speaks like Satoko summoned her to the fragment in this manner). Hanyuu's full real name is given in a chapter that is dubiously semi-canon, so Ryukishi might elect to leave it out of Gou, but her husband Riku Furude gave her the nickname 'Hanyuu'. (Which still contains the character for Feather)

These observations are making me consider the possibility that Hanyuu and Eua are separate personas of a singular entity: The smooth horn belongs to Eua while the broken one belongs to Hanyuu. Black and White; a contrast between the kind demon mother who feels Rika's pain and lived on the gameboard & the demon who relishes in tormenting humans, too above to be part of the gameboard herself.

So, that leads us to the million dollar question: who is the entity if we put both horns together? Do we get Featherine Augustus Aurora? Or the Oyashiro living in this reverse-world Hinamizawa and hiding inside the actual statue? (Seriously is there a corpse in there? Wtf)

Or are these two halves of a GM making a tug of war for control over the Higurashi Catbox via their loopers? Now THAT is a mindblower if true.

We got our answer that Takano forfeited her villain role before Gou actually began so that may explain why the legend of Oyashiro is told deceptively 'wrong', but how does one account for the unbroken statue with a removeable head... could we potentially get a fragment in Sotsu where Satoko doesn't break the arm off it as a child and thus it affects all the loops afterwards? Hmm.

Either way we haven't actually caught up to GOU chronologically speaking, so until Sotsu comes out, there's no way to tell for sure if Eua and Hanyuu are one and the same or if they are actually two halves of a whole. But I will be a happy camper if this crackpot theory turns out to be right. Usually I'm wrong though. Lol

But now I'll definitely see about cooking up a diagram or something if we can actually make a branching map of the different Rikas to figure out which one is Gou Rika.

#higurashi gou #featherine augustus aurora #higurashi #hanyuu furude #eua #eua (higurashi) #featherine #oyashiro sama #theories

[vipstarlight1990]

Super Junior Reacts

To you getting hurt while they are away

Kim Heechul - Heechul

It felt like time had slowed down as you lost your balance. You hadn't expected the floor to be so wet. You didn't see a sign that warned you. But in an instant your body fell over and you hit your head on a nearby bench.

You didn't cry, you couldn't cry. Because after that moment everything started to go dark. All you could recognize was warped noise that sounded like your name but you weren't sure. The moment everything went dark the pain went away.

The filming had just finished as heechul thanked everyone for a good job. He had turned his ringer off while he was working as to not be rude to his co-host. As he unlocked his phone he noticed multiple text messages and missed calls. Confused he read through one message. Feeling his his heart collapse as he quickly gathered his things.

A few people tried to calm him down see what was wrong but he tried to be polite as he could.

You sat there while the doctor checked your eyes to make sure everything was okay. A bandage covered right above your eyebrow. "Did you feel light headed, or dizzy before you fell?", he asked. "No I slipped.", you said softly as you heard your name being screamed through the halls. "(Y/N)!", you heard a familiar voice echo as his reached your door. "Oh god.", you muttered as the door to your room slammed open. " Jagiya!", he said checking you over. " What happened?", he asked obviously worried. "I fell.", you reluctantly muttered. "You fell?", he asked as you looked away from his judging eyes. "Have you not eaten?", he inquired. "I slipped.", you say under your breath. "But you are okay?" He asked softly. "We are keeping her for observation but yes she should be okay.", the doctors said taking his leave. You looked down as the door closed and heechul turned his focus on you. "Why must you always be so clumsy.", he said kissing over you as you pushed his hand away. "I'm not clumsy the floor was wet.", you say as he helps you sit back. "So blind then...has your eye sight gotten so bad that you couldn't see a bright orange sign?", he teased.

"I'm not listening to this anymore.", you said as he tucked you in. Almost like a captive audience. "Well you either blind or clumsy either way I have to take care of you I just need to know if I have to get a service dog or not.", he teased again. "You can go home now.", you groaned. "Home...not while you are here.", he said fixing a chair next to the bed. You looked over to him and smiled while he started telling you about his day.

I put a lot of shit talking but to me I feel like heechul would check on you first. Once he was certain you were okay he would tease you so you weren't worried to much. This also may be for his benefit since he will worry until your healthy.

Lee Donghae - Donghae

You looked outside you window and saw a light flurry of snow. You had to run to the store for food but it was far to cold to simply walk. Your boyfriend had left you the keys to his car for emergencies. But the more you thought about it, the more driving right down the street seemed insane to you.

Regretting not going shopping after work yesterday you grabbed your jacket and walked downstairs to where your bike was chained up. You could ride it and balance a few light items. No problem you've done this before. You unlocked your bike and carefully rode it to the small family owned convenient store. Making it their without a problem you parked your bike in front of the store and walked in. "Small items.", you muttered to yourself since you only had to last a few days. Grabbing some soup and a half a gallon of milk, you paid for your purchases and walked out the store. Balancing your bike you wished now you had never decided to make a craft project with the basket that use to rest on the front of your handlebars. Lacing one bag on the other you slowly pushed off and gently peddle your way down the street.

Donghae checked his phone to see if you at least saw his message. "Still no answer?", hyukjae asked. "No...I'm worried.", he said about to call but he was signaled by a producer. "Dammit.", he muttered putting his phone down and going towards the stage to perform. He tried to focus only on his performance but a nagging bug sat in the back of his mind. No matter what he did he couldn't relax until you sent him a simple hey or good luck. Anything at this point since he hadn't talked to you all day. After performing their first song the group went backstage to change. Donghae rushed to his phone and was relieved to see you had sent him a message. 'Hey, didn't see your message...good luck talk to you tonight.', he read it once, twice, then a third. He was happy you messaged back but it seemed....off. He shook the thought from his head as he changed and went to perform his second song.

The rest of the tapping lasted a few more hours. It was well past dinner time when he got back to his hotel room. Plugging his phone up he sat back and called you as quickly as he could.

You jumped at the sound of your ringer going off. "Hey.", you said as you answered the phone. "Hi...did you watch me tonight?", he asked you knew he liked sending you little flirts when he performed. Especially if he wad promoting and you weren't going to see him for a few weeks. "Um....No I didn't get a chance to watch.", you said looking down at your bandaged hand and wrist. "Oh...were you busy with work?", he asked as you sighed. You knew how he would react and you really didn't want to tell him. "No I was just preoccupied and that's it.", you hated being vague. Because you knew he wasn't buying. You could hear the wheels turning in his head. "Did something happen?", he asked. "Well....", you stalled. "(Y/N)!", he yelled over the phone. "Okay, okay.....I rode my bike in the snow to get some groceries and hit a slick patch on the way back and got into a little accident.", you spoke quickly. The line went quiet, you knew what he was doing and you were trying to figure out how to phrase the next sentence in a positive light. "Okay....how bad of and accident?", he asked you could hear his tone starting to change. "A car hit my bike.", you mumbled under your breath. "What?", donghae asked. "I said a car hit my bike.", you still muttered just as low as before. "(Y/N) I know you have a louder voice then that.", he said obviously worried, though slightly annoyed. "My bike got hit by a car.", you said still trying to make it sound like nothing bad happened. Then there was that silence again. "I'm coming home.", he said quickly as you tried to calm him down. "Whoa...No you will be home in two days I'm fine.", you said as you heard him fumbling around. "Are you hurt?" He asked in a panicked voice. "A few scratches but I'm fine.", you reassured him. "I still want to come home.", he saidf as you satg back with your eyes closed. "You can't leave...", you said simply as he sighed heavily. "What if you come here.", he asked softly. You looked at your hand shook your head. "I don't think that is a good idea I'll see you on tuesday.", you tried to reassure him but you knew he wasn't having it. "Tuesday...No riding the bike...use the car if you must go out.", he said sternly. "I honestly c ouldnt use the bike if I wanted to.", you muttered under your breath as he popped the phone on his end causing you to laugh a little. "Its not funny (Y/N), you could've been hurt.", he scolded. "I know, I know I'm sorry...I'll be more careful.", you said as he sighed. "Let me go get a shower and then I'll call you back.", his voice was filled with stress. "Okay...", you said softly as the two of you hung up.

Do I have to even explain why an army couldn't keep donghae away from anyone he loves getting hurt. He is an emotionally attached person so he does not play about the people in his life. If you are lucky enough to be in his life then you better prepare for donghae randomly checking up on you. He is not going to hide it, or play down his feelings. If you got seriously injured donghae would already be gone before that conversation ended.

So I've decided that since the request asked for two types of post imma do both. Hopefully this short reaction will be okay for now while I go and watch bout you a few more times.....for research. Since it may take a little bit imma post a few thing in between but know it's coming thank you for the request and I hope you enjoyed the reaction 💖

/The masterlist/

#kpop scenrios #kpop #kpop bias #kpop boyfriend #super junior #kim heechul #lee donghae #suju #suju heechul #suju donghae #super junior heechul #super junior donghae #e.l.f. #suju elf #super junior elf

[lindwurmkai]

A friend of mine recently said something on Twitter that I can't stop thinking about for some reason. 🤔

Basically, they were talking about different ways to react to criticism and described a knee-jerk reaction they often have themself, in which they initially get defensive and "insist they did nothing wrong" (I'm guessing they mostly meant in their thoughts, not out loud). But on some level they are already aware they did indeed make a mistake, they just can't deal with it emotionally and will need some time to process before they can admit it.

Why am I stuck on this? I don't know.

I recognise that extreme defensiveness from some situations I've been in, but I'm not sure what they have in common.

Normally, my reaction to being criticised is more like "O SHIT" and I'm instantly super embarrassed, even when I'm not yet sure it's justified. I tend to assume that, whether the other person's interpretation of my words was correct or not, the fact that there was room for misinterpretation at all must have been my fault. Sort of a, "the very fact that you THOUGHT I said this shames me" deal from which it can be hard to recover even when a 3rd party chimes in to say I was unfairly accused. (Sometimes, those 3rd parties are your friends getting defensive on your behalf and you shouldn't necessarily listen to them. It's important to hold yourself accountable.)

So that's almost the opposite of what my friend's brain does, but I am familiar with disproportionate defensiveness.

The only example I can think of off the top of my head is one from about a year ago, where someone was watching R0gue One and basically went, "Oh no! Not the 'blind person with superpowers' trope!"

I misunderstood this to mean actual superpowers in the "supernatural abilities" sense and pointed out that Chirrut is only very slightly Force-sensitive. They clarified that they'd been referring instead to the misconception that blind people's "remaining" senses always sharpen as if by magic, and the media's penchant for portraying this in an exaggerated manner.

Now, I agree that this trope is harmful and can easily imagine it making blind people of average skill feel bad. I've made some vaguely analogous experiences, but never mind. The thing is, I'm just not sure Chirrut fits the bill??

Like, I still haven't figured this out a year later lol. I still get defensive about it and am holding a bit of a grudge against that person by now because we've disagreed on two additional things since. I believe this grudge to be irrational (so far) and have a lot of respect for everything else they do. But sometimes I wonder if there's a reason we keep clashing like this.

Although I can't remember other specific examples rn, I get the feeling that one uniting factor of these incidents is not knowing who's right. But that can't be all because like I said, even when I'm not yet sure what to think, I often have that "instinctive embarrassment" response instead of this one.

Perhaps it's something to do with how the criticism is phrased? Or there's a hidden trigger lurking in the topic itself - there have definitely been times when something bothered me for months or years until I suddenly realised I had overlooked a "second conflict" in it, something other than the main disagreement.

In general, I have found that when I react with such vehement defensiveness, it's a sign to pay close attention. Sometimes it means I was actually right, but used a flawed argument to justify my position, allowing the other person to dismantle that argument and leave me feeling like, "Okay yes, but I'm still right tho." Sometimes it means I was wrong, but the other person did something seriously uncool while pointing it out. Sometimes it just means I found a hidden trigger.

In any case, my friend clearly operates completely differently. Perhaps I am now worried that I do react like they do on occasion, and I won't catch it because I'll assume it's just another case of the above??

I know why I struggle to discern whether my emotions are justified. After a lifetime of being taught to ignore them, I've been working on learning to trust my gut instinct more. But if people can have WRONG gut feelings, like my friend, then what is even the point of…

Oh ok

I guess I figured out why that was lingering in the back of my mind 😒

#brain stuff