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buckybee · 7 years

Text

Once a bee learns to fly

Written for @acespnminibang

Author: ifonenight / buckybee Artist: Thette / @bold-sartorial-statement Rating: Mature Pairing(s): Dean Winchester/Castiel Word Count: 5195 Summary: Cas, ace as they come, hand makes sex toys as a job-slash-hobby, and wears things that make him feel pretty in his spare time. He’s doing well all by himself, but when a client, impalabatmobile-67, asks for a special tutorial, Cas will find himself intrigued. Author Notes: I wanted to write a story where Cas didn’t care for sex at all, but still enjoyed some things that society associate with sex. And how he lived it. Links to fic and art: FIC/ART

Mid September

The water was warm on Cas’ skin, chasing the last residues of sleep away. He tilted his head up, letting the spray hit him on his chin, nose, eyes, a last goodbye to the cozy atmosphere of his bed, and then turned the shower off, stepping out onto the worn out carpet. He shivered at the cold room - save money, save money, save money - and hurried to cocoon himself in his big towel, one of the only luxuries he allowed himself.

Mornings had always been hard for him. Waking up was really one of the worse parts of his days, which probably told something about himself he didn’t want to analyze too deeply. But alas, it had to be done.

He yawned, pulling on a soft pair of pants and an old sweater, and wandered in his tiny kitchen. Time to start the day, apparently.

Sitting at the kitchen table some time later, a cup of coffee and a snack on hand, Cas felt definitely readier to start his day. His laptop was silently coming to life in front of him, and he put his password in, lazily watching the enlarged photo of a bee appearing on the screen.

It was a nice picture, good quality and a lovely subject, and he smiled faintly at it; that had been a nice summer, the year he had taken it, mostly spent bonding with his sister and coming to terms - good terms - with his sexuality. It would always be a fond memory, captured in an almost monochrome photo.

As soon as all the icons settled on the screen he opened his browser, starting to type in the address bar - he need to check his email, couldn’t postpone his assignments any longer - but his eyes were caught by Tumblr’s little square, listed between his favourite websites on the home page.

He hesitated. He really should’ve started working on his essay, but he still had a week before he had to turn it in, and seeing how his business was doing wasn’t exactly the most irresponsible thing to do. Just a couple of minutes, ten at most, and then he would face the first, blank page of the essay.

His personal blog’s dashboard appeared on the screen, full of kittens’ videos and fandom posts, but he managed to resist the temptation and ignored them, quickly changing blog and switching to his professional one.

Dildos, lingerie, padded handcuffs, floggers, feathers, they were all there, showing up nicely in his layout. And he had had fun making every one of them.

His business was simple and entertaining, yes, if a bit unorthodox. Handmade sex-toys, not too expensive but of good quality, simple yet original, seemed to be well liked out there.

He had started making them for friends, fellow students who came to know about his art-and-craft skills by his brother.

They were the ones that actually suggested to expand his work to something less innocent than stuffed animals, only half-seriously. He treated it as a joke a first, giving a sparkling dildo to a girl as a birthday gift, making the toys funny rather than useful, but it turned out he was actually good at it and he had slowly got more and more requests, until he had decided to make a little business out of it; he had also started to offer advice and tutorials after a while, for free. He didn’t earn a lot, but it was still something, and it was nice.

Despite the endless teasing his brother subjected him to every time he saw him, Cas was quite happy with what he was doing.

It wasn’t fancy, or big, but it was a nice way to help paying for his everyday needs. And it wasn’t really demanding - he only had to do what he liked to do, and he usually found a way to include his work in his classes’ researches, and that made things pretty interesting.

His askbox warned him he had almost fifty new messages; opening it, he began to sort through them: a dozen were specific orders – mostly for dildos and collars; some were from shy anons exposing their problems with their sexuality or gender and asking for someone to listen – and he would have to answer them before the next day, as he didn’t like to leave that kind of asks lingering more than it was necessary; one was from a customer who hadn’t understood that this blog was only a catalogue and that, unless it was a custom made order, clients were to go to his Etsy, linked at the end of each toy post, and in his description, and in his FAQs, and buy his stuff there; finally, there was a request for a tutorial.

He send back a short reply to the inattentive customer, redirecting him to his shopping page, and then, curios, he scrolled up to the tutorial request.

impalabatmobile-67 asked:

hi! uh, i know this probably sounds weird, but can you make a tutorial for edible panties? i tried to make them myself but they, like, melted before i finished them, but your tutorial are always easy to follow so maybe i’ll understand what i’m missing here. i get it if they’re not your thing, don’t worry. thanks.

Edible panties. Well, that was new and he would have to do some research before giving instructions to anyone, a couple of tries maybe, but yes, it was doable. And kind of interesting, as he usually found new things to be.

Sex-aced-it answered:

It’s not “weird” at all, don’t worry. On the contrary, quite vanilla , I’d say. I will have to investigate a bit on how to make them, since it is new to me as – I suppose? - it was to you, but yes, I will make a tutorial about it.

Are you interested in underwear in general or panties specifically? And will they be for male or for female bodies? I don’t know if this will influence the product, but better safe than sorry. Were you thinking of classic candies and sweets or something else for the food? Let me know.

He checked the message again, and then sent it. He got up to make a peanut butter sandwich, taking his time to spread the butter meticulously on the bread, and took a bite while settling in front of his computer again. He refreshed the page automatically, his mind already on the essay, when he spotted a new message at the top of the page.

impalabatmobile-67 asked:

thanks man, you’re awesome. i guess underwear in general’d be fine, but my panties are for a guy. candies&sweets are good.

Before he could have done anything, another one arrived, and then another.

impalabatmobile-67 asked:

didn’t mean mine like *mine*, only that i asked for them. and, uh, can you not show my url when you’ll do the tutorial? it’s kinda personal. i probably sound like a repressed guy but my little brother is on tumblr as well and i don’t want him to see this.

impalabatmobile-67 asked:

sorry, i’m rambling. u didn’t need to know that.

Cas sighed a little and hit the ‘reply’ button again. This guy didn’t seem a jerk, only a little… lost. His essay would have had to wait apparently some more.

Sex-aced-it answers:

Again, please don’t worry. You don’t have to justify your actions with me and I’m not going to judge you. I completely understand wanting to keep your own business private. Have you already thought about the design? I could help you with that too if you’d like.

Unsurprisingly, impalabatmobile-67 answered only a couple of minutes later. He really had a piercing imagination.

They chatted for almost an hour, exchanging ideas about the shape and the size and what kind of flavors Dean would have preferred. He seemed nice, and when they said goodbye, Cas had a little smile on his lips.

Early October

“Do you have the munchies?,” Gabriel asked, and Cas could hear some sort of admiration in his tone.

“It’s for a project,” he answered distractedly, examining a licorice strip and carefully lowering it inside a paper bag.

His cart was full of similar bags, stuffed with candies. He wasn’t sure he could add them to the panties, actually, but Halloween was close anyway. Better safe than sorry.

“A project?,” Gabriel answered, amused. “For you porn blog?”

“It’s not a porn blog,” Cas answered automatically, passing the cart to Gabriel so he could ring everything up.

Gabriel snickered but didn’t press on. It was a familiar banter by now, nothing they couldn’t recite in their sleep.

“What is this project about anyway?,” Gabriel asked, giving Cas his change and rummaging on his desk, triumphally popping a lollipop in mouth once he found it.

“Edible panties,” Cas said, hiding a smile when Gabriel choked on his own spit. For all his flamboyant sexual life, his brother was definitely more of a prude than Cas himself was.

“You’d be such a perv, I swear,” Gabriel muttered, and Cas gave him a dirty look.

Gabriel rose his hands up in surrender. “I know, I know, you can be a perv right now, too,”

Cas just grabbed his bags and got out the shop, giving Gabriel the middle finger on his way out.

The ingredients were spread on the table, resting on a cheap table cloth.

Cas eyed them dubiously. The recipe seemed easy enough, but he wasn’t sure how resistant they could actually turn out to be. Or comfortable. Or igenic. Honestly, the idea of eating something that had rested on someone else’s crotch made him nauseous, but he guessed that once you swallowed what came out of a person’s genitals, you could brave anything.

He picked up his phone and shot Dean a message. They had abandoned the inbox a while ago and were using Tumblr’s messaging system now.

Sex-aced-it

I’m starting. I cannot guarantee a satysfing result though

Dean’s answers was almost immediate. Cas had warned him that he was going to try today, and apparently Dean was eager to know how it was going. He seemed very invested in these panties.

impalabatmobile-67

don’t worry 2 much about it man

impalabatmobile-67

i mean if they turn out a mess u can still eat them

Cas’ nose scrunched up and he looked down again at the table. The whole ensamble just didn’t look that appealing.

Sex-aced-it

If you say so

impalabatmobile-67

don’t u guys like sweet things?

Cas frowned down at the screen, leaning his hip against the table.

Sex-aced-it

What do you mean?

impalabatmobile-67

all those talks about cakes… made me wonder

It took Cas a moment to understand Dean’s allusion, and he found himself smiling when it clicked.

He could still go a little on the defensive sometimes, when the topic of his sexuality came up - and who could blame him, really? - but he found these sort of jokes funny, if a little cheesy.

impalabatmobile-67

im more a pie kind of guy myself

Sex-aced-it

Don’t you like cake at all?

impalabatmobile-67

oh I like cake alright at times ;)

Sex-aced-it

What was that wink for

impalabatmobile-67

like… cake as a metaphor for… someone ace?

impalabatmobile-67

nvm, it was dumb

Cas stared at his phone, the text clear on its white background. He admittedly wasn’t the best at social interaction, and social clues, in certain context, could be somewhat a mystery for him, but he most certainly wasn’t stupid.

Dean and him hadn’t started talking that long ago - a month at best - but Dean had been friendly and their interactions easygoing. And, sometimes, very clearly, flirty.

Not much, nothing over the top, just a joke here and a compliment there, but it was still more than Cas had done in some time, and definitely not something he usually did with his clients.

Dean seemed nice, though, and funny, and a little cute. Cas had always had a weak spot for cute boys.

But it still was only something to put a smile on his face after a tiring day - he didn’t stop to consider the implications, because he didn’t think there would have been any. Besides, an internet romance, without even knowing what Dean’s last name was, or where he lived, or what kind of skeletons he hid in his closet - Cas was brave, and he was reckless, but he had learnt self-preservation along the way. And this? This was not something he could endorse in in good conscience.

But here Dean was, with his lame lines and flustered-looking backtracking, and Cas’ walls had never been that solid to begin with, honestly.

He had started tapping an appropriate reply when a new message appeared under the last one.

impalabatmobile-67

so are u gonna try to make them??? i’m getting old here dude

And just like that, the moment was lost.

Late October

Parties at Charlie’s were always very liberal, very queer, and almost always tipsy, at the very least.

Cas, throwing back a shot of vodka, mused that Halloween was the least probable time to be an exception to the rule.

His corpet was starting to squeeze him a little too much, and his ankles ached, but there was no way in Hell he would have given up his costume now. Well, thinking about it, maybe the shoes could go, the stockings were the important part anyway…

He tried to lift his right foot and unfasten the lace of the stiletto, but the room suddenly started to shift and here he went, falling from his heels with an empty glass in his hand and oh god please let there not be any sharp edges on his way down-

Something strong and firm collided with his chest, but it was a gentle blow, and Cas found himself staring at an illustration of a yellow bat.

He looked up, questioning, and green eyes blinked down at him, surrounded by a black mask with pointed years.

Cas started giggling.

The masked man frowned and straightened him, passing an arm under his armpits to help him support his own weight.

“Are you okay?” he yelled in his ear, trying to make himself heard over the music, but Cas was laughing too hard to answer.

The man rolled his eyes - so green - and started to drag him over to the stairs that led to the upper floor. Cas weakly hit his cheek to get his attention. “Bridal style, bridal style!” he hooted when the man turned toward him, trying to throw his leg over the man’s arms and managed only to send them both staggering against a wall.

“Dude, I’m not bringing you upstairs in my arms,” the man grunted, tugging him on the first steps.

“But I’ve been saved by Batman!,” Cas protested, gripping the man’s shoulder for dear life now that they were climbing the stairs. “I demand it!”

“Jesus, you’re really in the part of Frank, aren’t you,” the man muttered, but Cas, a little dizzy, a little nauseous, could still see the amused smile on his lips.

He didn’t remember much after that.

"God,“ Cas lamented, trying to get his coffee machine to work. The smell of beans only had already cleared his head a little, but now he needed the real deal.

"Tell me about it,” Dean’s voice said, equally roughed, from Cas’s phone’s speakers.

Charlie’s Halloween party had been hard on Cas the night before, and apparently Dean had had a similar experience, if his pained tone was anything to go by.

“I was at this friend’s place,” Cas said, finally managing to turn the machine on. The scent of strong coffee rose from it, lazily diffusing in the air, and Cas had never known a sweeter blessing.

“Did you just moan?,” Dean’s voice came, a little belwidered, but Cas ignored it.

“I guess I had a little too much to drink,” he continued, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sighing in it, inhaling the fumes. “And then Batman saved me when I was about to fall on my face, and then I blacked out.” He reverently had a sip, and had to actively force himself to keep quiet, this time.

It took him a moment to realized the line was silent on the other side.

“Dean?,” he asked, catious, and Dean cleared his voice over the static.

“Were you wearing a Frank-N-Furter costume, by chance?,” he asked, voice neutral, and Cas froze.

“How do you know that?” he replied, confused and a little scared, but Dean didn’t say anything.

“Dean?,” Cas pressed, even though he should have had hung up, turned off the phone, what if Dean was a stalker, what if-

“Do you know Charlie?,” Dean finally said, and Cas’ heart almost stopped.

“How…?” he asked, and he heard Dean’s breath rushing out of him, amplified by the speakers.

“I think,” Dean said, very carefully, “that we have a common friend.”

Early November

The coffee-shop was crowded, but not unbearably so. Cas was sitting at one of the tables, near the window, nervously watching the street. Anxiety hadn’t really kicked in, but he was still a bit tense.

Rationally, he knew that this wasn’t like meeting a stranger, nor a person he wasn’t certain he could stand, but it was a big deal for him nonetheless. This was a relationship he had invested times and energy and feelings in, and if it didn’t work… He didn’t really want to think about that option.

Discovering that he and Dean lived in the same city had been kind of a shock.

Everything that Cas had been cautious of, that he had protected himself from thanks to the hypothetical distance between them, and the net’s impalpability, had suddenly came to knock at his door. Young feelings, still fragile and new, that were slowly twisting themselves inside Cas’ blood vessels and shooting right toward his heart, hidden among blood cells and oxygen.

And what was Cas supposed to do with them?

Meeting today had been a jump in the dark, that Dean had agreed to make with him. It had made the abyss a little less scary.

Still, perhaps arriving half an hour before the actual date hadn’t been the smartest idea he had ever had, since the more he waited, the more he freaked out. He sipped his water, checking his watch; he wasn’t supposed to be there for ten more minutes. He took another gulp, and then promptly choked on it when a hand clamped down on his shoulder.

He sputtered, coughing and trying to breath some air in, feeling the light weight of fingers gently rubbing his back.

“Cas? Are you okay? Come on buddy, don’t die on me now.”

Eventually managing to breathe again, he turned his head up to see Dean smiling down at him, eyes actually a bit worried, and still so, so green, and really, Cas realized, everything could be really going to be just fine.

“Assbutt” he rasped, cautiously taking a sip from his bottle and glaring at him.

Dean’s laughter was so much more breathtaking in person than on the phone.

Mid December

“I’ve been hurt before,” Cas said, quietly, on their maybe fifth or sixth date, while they were having dinner at Cas’ place, on Cas’ comfy carpet. A sort of indoor pic-nic.

Dean watched him attentively, warm and reassuring, but Cas kept fidgeting with a loose thread on the carpet, not looking up.

“When I was young, by my own doing, trying to feel things I couldn’t feel, and later, by partners who said that they understood and that sex wasn’t a requirement when instead… it was.”

He could see Dean’s hand twitching to reach out, but they weren’t yet at a point where they could just understand what the other needed without asking, and Cas was particular about touching.

Hiding a smile, Cas brushed his fingers against Dean’s, and let him squeeze his hand in his own.

“I need you to understand, Dean,” he started, trying to make his voice firm.

No matter how happy he was with himself, how comfortable, there was always a little voice in his head that whispered to him he was being selfish, unreasonable, when he did this kind of talks. But he had built himself so much stronger than those ugly murmurs, now. Let them come. He was not afraid.

“We will never have sex. Ever. I won’t start liking it just because I’m with you, and I won’t do it just to make you happy.”

He looked at Dean, trying to see any sign of discomfort, but Dean’s face was blank. It happened sometimes, when Dean wasn’t ready to let others know what he was thinking, but it wasn’t necessary a sign of something bad.

And then Cas felt fingers drawing gentle circles inside his wrist, and relaxed a little.

“No matter how turned on you get by something, if you try to pressure me in any way… I won’t react nicely.”

Dean still didn’t say anything, and Cas smiled quietly at him, bringing Dean’s hand to his lips to kiss it lightly.

“You can get turned on, though, masturbate, whatever you need. I’m not sex repulsed, just indifferent towards it in general. Moreover, I don’t mind being in a open relationship, if that’s what you want, but we would need to establish clear rules in that case, and it’s an another whole conversation,” he added, interlacing his fingers with Dean’s. “If you want to stay with me, these are the conditions. I’m done with my speech. Now it’s your turn. Did I weird you out? I didn’t mean to.”

Dean looked at him for a couple of seconds more, and then nodded. “Alright,” he said.

“Alright?,” Cas echoed.

“Alright,” Dean said, and grinned at him with his golden, beautiful eyes, and Cas, somehow, trusted him.

Late January

“I still can’t believe I got to do this,” Dean murmured against Cas’ skin, in the quiet of Cas’ bedroom.

Cas shivered a bit at that and settled better against Dean’s chest. “Doing what?,” he asked, even though he knew exactly what Dean was referring to.

“Touching you, smelling you, hell, even seeing you.” Dean traced light circles on his covered belly with his finger, resting his chin on Castiel’s shoulder. “Are you okay with this?” he asked, loosening the hug.

Cas grabbed his arm and tightened his hold again. - I am - he answered, turning his head for a kiss.

Dean gave it to him, and Cas thought that that Heaven his mother was always talking about when he was little could be found much easier than she thought. And then distracted himself because thinking about his mother in that moment seemed really a waste of time.

When they separated, both of them smiling like the idiots they were, Cas hold out a hand and gently freed himself from the embrace.

“Wait there,” he ordered, pointing the bed. While Dean obeyed, he took an anonymous bag out of his drawer and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He wasn’t completely sure of what he was about to do, but then again, when ever had he been completely sure about anything? It didn’t matter. It was for Dean, and for himself, too, and if it didn’t work out, well, nobody would be seriously hurt. A bit embarrassed, sure, but he could live with that. Dean would have never made him feel inadequate.

He undressed, folded his clothes, and opened the bag.

He took the stockings out first, feelings their softness between his fingers. They were beautiful, white silk and lace, and he couldn’t wait to wear them.

He put them on, careful not to break the texture, and spent some moments admiring his legs. Smooth and elegant, just like he liked them.

The white panties, adorned with black lace, were next, and he shivered a little at the feeling of them on his skin. He took his time adjusting them, and when he felt like they were good, he took the neutral lipstick out of the bag and turned toward the mirror above the sink.

His lips were chapped like always, but he couldn’t do much about it. Besides, Dean had never complained.

He uncapped the lipstick, and squeezed the tiny bottle to put some on his index finger. Watching his reflection in the mirror, he applied it on his bottom lips, and then pressed his lips together to spread them on the whole mouth. He cleaned the area around it a bit and smiled at his face in the glass, satisfied.

The thing was, Cas liked to be pretty. He liked to wear things that made him feel sensual, even though he didn’t care for others’ attraction toward him. If you asked him why, he probably couldn’t have explained it, but then again, the reason behind it wasn’t that important. It was all about sensations and nerves’ reaction to stimulus or something like that.

Dean had already seen him in flimsy clothes, but it was a costume, at the time. Just a mask, not the real Castiel, just being himself, in pretty lingerie. Showing off to his boyfriend in a way he never purposely did with anyone else.

Because Cas liked to be pretty, but he didn’t really like the attention that came with it. Or the expectations.

With Dean, though? Cas knew that Dean would look straight at him, and see exactly what Cas wanted to show him.

He turned to the bag once more, biting his lips. One last thing, and then he would be ready: a pair of black high heels, sleek and shiny.

The action of putting them on went less smoothly than the others - he stumbled and nearly fell into the tub, and had to yell at Dean he was fine and not to come in - but finally, everything was in place.

Taking a deep breath and shaking his head a bit, as in to clear it, he squared his shoulder and exited the bathroom.

Dean looked up from his hands in his lap and did a double-take, freezing on the spot.

Cas waited for his eyes to roam oh his body, taking him in, searching for what he could find sexy, but they remained fixated on his face, instead, without wandering even a little bit.

Actually, Dean seemed not be breathing at all.

It would have been hilarious if Cas hadn’t been so nervous.

“Dean?” he asked, finally, uncertain.

That seemed to shake him out of his trance, and he coughed, cleared his throat, and then diverted his eyes, fixing them somewhere on the wall.

“Cas, fuck” he answered, his voice lower and rougher than usual. “This is harder than I thought.”

Yeah, that wasn’t helping his nervousness at all.

“You said you would have liked it.” Cas said, confused and a bit mortified.

Dean let out a weak laugh. “I do, Cas, and that may be our problem here.”

Cas frowned, but after a moment, it clicked. It wasn’t difficult to understand what Dean was worried about, really. Cas should have anticipated it.

He approached the bed slowly, as if not to scare Dean, and sat next to him.

“Dean,” he called gently, and Dean shot him a look, but he apparently couldn’t maintain it.

“Dean,” Cas said again, taking of of his hands in his own. “You don’t have to be ashamed of your attraction, just like I don’t have to be for the lack of mine. I wore this because I knew you would have liked them, and I also knew how you would have liked them, and done it anyway. Your erection won’t make me uncomfortable.”

Dean twitched at the word, and Cas laughed quietly against his cheek.

“Stop worrying so much,” he said, kissing the side of his mouth. “You won’t hurt me. I promise.”

“I just,” Dean said, but didn’t continue.

“You just?,” Cas repeated, nudging him, with his cold nose against Dean’s neck.

“I just don’t want to do something, without meaning to, and scare you off,” Dean finished, looking at the ground.

“Oh, Dean.” Cas grabbed Dean’s face in his hands, gently, forcing him to look at Cas in the eyes. “Let me lead, okay? I promise I won’t let anything bad happening to us.”

Dean’s eyes were still doubtful, a little afraid light shining in them, but he nodded, and Cas released him.

“I feel good like this,” he said, taking back one of Dean’s hand, putting it right on his legs, on the soft fabric of the stocking. “I wore all of this as much for you as I did for me. Will you look at me, Dean? Tell me how pretty I am?”

Dean took a deep breath. “You’re always pretty, Cas.”

Cas stand up, letting go of his hand, and moved in front of him, between his knees. He put his palm under Dean’s chin and tilted his head up gently. Dean finally, finally, met his eyes on his own.

“Tell me again, like this,” Cas ordered him softly, smiling. Dean stayed still for a moment more, and then, surrendering, he slowly, hungrily, let his sight slide all over Castiel’s body. Cas felt it like a caress all over him, tender and butterfly light.

Once Dean’s look had reached his feet - and he had gasped loudly - his eyes met Cas’ own again, and they were dark and full of heat. “You’re beautiful.” he said, voice rough and full of awe. “So fucking beautiful, Cas.”

“As you are, my love,” Cas murmured, and letting himself be laid out on the bed, admired as a work of art, he thought that, yes, no matter how much it took for him to reach this point in life, it was well worth it.

July, years later

“Sam,” Cas groaned in his phone, blindly patting around on the bed to wake Dean up. Dean grunted and swatted his hand away, cocooning himself against Cas’ back, warm as a stove. Cas tried to roll away but Dean sneaked an arm around his middle, lightning fast.

“I hope this is important, Sam, it’s eight a.m. on a Sunday.”

“Sorry!,” Sam exclaimed, excitedly, not sounding sorry at all. “But I think I found an investor for your shop!”

Cas abruptly woke up, finally managing to disentangle himself from Dean, whose protest was apparently to slobber all over Cas’ pillow.

“What?,” he asked Sam, putting a pair of pants on and quietly exiting their bedroom.

“Yesterday I went to this corporate party,” Sam answered, talking one mile a minute, “and there was this very rich european lady who I somehow ended up talking about your project and she was really interested in it!”

“Somehow?,” Cas asked, distractly, heart pounding.

“Well I may have done some research before the party… But who cares, her name is Bela Talbot, ace as fuck, very kinky. Loves your idea. I’ll drop by later to explain everything?”

“Yeah,” Cas mumbled, still dumbfounded, and the line went dead.

He felt Dean padding into the room and then hugging him from behind.

“Everything’s alright?,” he asked, voice deep from sleep.

And Cas’ face broke into a smile, toothy and huge. “Yes. Alright.”

#asexual!cas #ace!castiel #asexual!castiel #ace!cas #acespnminibang #destiel #deancas #dean winchester #castiel #meus codex #ace character

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mfmagazine · 5 years

Photo

Pebelle

Article by Lauren Weigle

Photo by Wolfgang Steiner

Hair/Makeup by Claudia Haider Models: Mark Stephen Baignet/Tempo--Suzi Stanekova/Look--Ina Rot/Stella Models--Leonie Böhm Styling by Pebelle, Emma Bell, and Polona Dolzan

Pebelle brings the art of tie-dyeing back and takes it to a new level of amazing. Mixing old techniques with new ones, outfits are transformed into magical combinations with rad designs. The brand, along with its pieces, prides itself on being completely unique it its styles, incorporating aspects of nature and the world around us into each individual garment. Believing mass-production would take away from its appeal and it’s exclusivity of each clothing’s design, Pebelle sticks with its methodology, creating one piece at a time.

Tell me about Pebelle’s one-line “Re-think Tie Dye!”

Elle UK magazine used it to describe my work in one of the first features they did with my items. I loved this sentence right away as it describes the intent I had to take this old technique and blow new life into it.

I understand you use traditional tie dye techniques in addition to ones you’ve developed in your garments. Can you talk about some of the ones you’ve come up with or are they Top Secret?

Well, my techniques are top secret. Every pattern I create is unique, so there's no way to protect my work. So, I simply don't talk about what I am doing. The only thing I can tell is that I look at the dyeing process from the other way round and take a peek at the main principles of printing, then mix it all together in a non-scared manner. And, nothing is safe not to be used.

How did you first become interested in tie-dyeing?

I studied textile at the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna, Austria and we had a dyeing workshop. We dyed everything we could think of: wood shavings, shuttlecocks, etc. One of us brought stockings along. The outcome was so exciting that we decided to do a whole weekend with just dyeing tights and stockings......that was 9 years ago and I resumed it.

So what made you decide to develop an entire label around this aesthetic?

It was love at first sight- no need to explain that further- everyone knows how that feels.

Tell me more about the anarchistic attitude that goes into Pebelle.

I do create this certain attitude with not following specific dyeing rules. My dye supplier that I'm always buying from and use as a consultant when it comes to technical questions, well his neck hair nearly stood up as I told him I am mixing my own colors. The colors I use come as pigments, and you can get every facet you can imagine... so mixing is something you just don't do. After years of dyeing I have come to realize that this anarchistic attitude of mixing the dyes creates a new look as well, as I get lots of kaleidoscopic effects.

You’re creations are inspired by urban atmospheres, right?

I am inspired by urban atmospheres as much as by natural phenomena. Wherever I look when I leave the house, I see colors and patterns that impress me. For example, as I was in LA last summer, waiting for my friend to leave the house, I discovered these beautiful patterned leaves in his garden and the thought hit me to do a line with these. That's when the collection "A Forest" formed in my brain. The idea developed until I was at a point where I knew I wanted to do a camouflage for all kinds of surroundings. I started with the forest, we had a wonderful shooting in the summer and it worked out great; the model got totally lost in the under wood. The biggest compliment was as a butterfly came to sit down on one of my dyed silk scarves. And it had exactly the same color as the scarf! Right now I am in the process of creating the same for an urban surrounding. I do collect images of walls, redo them with tie dye on dresses, shirts, and will soon have a shooting with people wearing my items in front of these walls. Future prospects are to do it in the sea, in the sky, and so on.......a never ending story- maybe I'll make a book with it one day.

Any other sources of inspiration for your pieces?

Anything can be a source of inspiration, for me interaction with other people is a big field of inspiration, so I do love to sit in cafes and watch people pass by. Plus, I am a passionate reader; a lover of art; a fan of music, musicians, and music videos; and last but not least, I do enjoy films. All of it offers a variety of imprints they leave in my mind.

So, each piece is unique and created by hand?

Yes, totally.

What advantages and disadvantages go along with this?

A lot of my customers like the idea that the designer themself has had his/her hands on an item; a precious knowledge in days of huge factories filled with people working under slavery conditions. I think more and more people re-think their attitude towards shopping. In your previous question you have already mentioned another advantage, being unique. I wouldn't be able to create my own, typical patterns if I wouldn't do hand-work. I kept going through possibilities of re-creating items in large numbers, but came to realize that these patterns would get lost. Now every item is like a miniature-tableau, showing new details every time you look at it. This is why a tie-dye style pair of H&M leggings won't have the same effect on you. It's manufactured differently. Creating by hand can also turn into a disadvantage when it comes to produce big numbers. But to be honest, first of all I want my works to stay exclusive and secondly I'm sure I find a way (to say it with Joe Cocker's words: "With a little help from my friends") if the order to dress 10,000 people comes up.

Where can your latest creations be seen or purchased?

Right now my items can be bought and seen in various shops in Vienna, and exclusively in shops in Germany or Great Britain. In America you either have to head out to New Jersey, were Dahl Collection has a selection of Leggings or you just simply drop by my ETSY store. I do play with the idea of an own online shop but am not settled yet. There's a full stock list on my homepage, plus a link to all websites that show my items and even sell them. My items will be featured inside a fashion book that will be published worldwide in various languages in spring. Plus, I am fulfilling the dream of my life in June, which is a big blast for my pride and maybe for my career as well. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to talk about it right now, but it will be seen all over America.

So, what performing artists and designers have you collaborated with?

So far I have worked on creating textiles for British designer Emma Bell's SS10 collection and with the Austrian men's wear label SUPERATED on their SS11 Alleatory collection. I created a line of scarves and hosiery for men to go with their items. I did work with Fan Death, they used my hosiery for their European tour last year and collaborated on costumes with the finish Electro singer Kississings for her music video "Anything u want" or for the Los Angeles based band VUM, were I dressed Ballet dancers for a great video they shoot in the Joshua Tree desert- this video is not published yet but will soon be out. Other musicians that wear my hosiery are: Monique Maion from Brazil, Brilliant Pebbles, and Pure Magical Love from Chicago, US or Apache Beat, NY. Right now I do create T-Shirts for a hot and upcoming Indie Band "The Jamborines”. They are based in Switzerland but actually in possess of a lead singer from California, who lived in Seattle for a while, so Seattle is going to be their first stop when heading to the US in April watch out for them!

Any memorable moments to speak of?

I was very taken aback as I received the message that Whoopi Goldberg popped into a store in Vienna and bought one of my leggings. She had been in town for the Life Ball. And, I just recently sent a very important email, asking for my items to be used on-screen, somewhere huge. And a) there was an answer b) the answer was positive and c) they were so nice. This is going to be a big step for me. 2011 here we go!

So, what’s a definite plus when it comes to collaborating with others?

The interaction, the bonding of two individual lines with their own attitude - it's like with a recipe: mix two really good ingredients together and the result with be brilliant. Collaborating always creates something totally new, something a label wouldn't have managed on its own. I am glad it happens a lot lately.

But, what’s great about standing on your own and coming out with a garment or collection that’s “all you”?

It makes me proud. I live my dream. Pebelle is like a child for me. I care for her, am responsible for her, and try to bring her up. I am glad I haven't left it with the idea, but really created some attention.

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theconservativebrief · 5 years

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Our staff of cultural critics picked their favorite highbrow gifts — and some guilty pleasures.

I am one of those people whose headphones always require at least 10 minutes of untangling. Wireless earbuds, while not perfect, were a relief for a tangly person like myself — but the sound quality and fit of many versions leave a lot to be desired.

The best ones I’ve been able to try are Sennheiser’s Momentum True Wireless earbuds. They work almost like noise-canceling headphones, crystallizing whatever you’re listening to and pulling it front and center for your eardrums. Listening to Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” through them makes her vocals sound truly special. And the bass, while not spectacular, is still solid; it might be as good as you’ll find in wireless earbuds.

But it’s Sennheiser’s comfortable fit — and a nifty feature called “transparent hearing,” which allows you to hear ambient noise while commuting or jogging — that pushes them over the edge. If there’s one problem, it’s that they’re very expensive, so there’s a constant anxiety that you might lose a bud. (Sennheiser, $300)

—Alex Abad-Santos, senior correspondent

One of my favorite gifts I received last year was an illustrated triptych of Dorinda Medley’s most iconic moments. Medley is the true star of the television show The Real Housewives of New York, best known for getting completely obliterated and yelling things in various fancy kitchens (she’s incredible). Kat Archibald is an illustrator in England who does these hilarious prints of reality stars and their most famous quotes, but there are plenty of other artists on Etsy who cater to whatever fandom your loved one stans. (Etsy, from $7)

—Rebecca Jennings, reporter

Holiday greeting cards are pretty boring, but they don’t have to be. For pop culture mavens who want to give (or receive) a nice card — maybe with, say, a gift card tucked inside — there are plenty of options on Etsy, most starting at under $5. For instance, the horror fan might fancy a terrifying look at Pennywise, the killer from It, or a reminder of how frightening The Shining is. Or an exhortation to be Rock-in around the Christmas tree.

For your family member who adored Bohemian Rhapsody, try Freddie Mercury. For a classic touch, send some cheer via an Elf card. Your friend who’s been bingeing The Office on repeat (not that I’d know anything about that) can enjoy a Christmas card worthy of Dwight Schrute himself, or maybe Belsnickel. There are options for fans of everything from Post Malone to Hallmark movies. And for the loved one who celebrates it all, there’s even a visit from the Holiday Armadillo.

—Alissa Wilkinson, film critic

Publisher Penguin is officially calling these adorable little books “Penguin minis,” but it’s way more fun to make like they do in the Netherlands and call them “dwarsliggers.” When shut, a dwarsligger is about the size of a deck of bridge cards, so you can hold it in one hand, which is both convenient for reading on the train or bus and surprisingly cute. When you flip one open, you see that the text is oriented horizontally rather than vertically, and you turn the pages by flipping them up, more or less the way you scroll up through a smartphone. The format won me over entirely when I put one next to my giant stack of to-be-read books, realized that it made them look as though they belonged to a hulking giant, and cackled gleefully.

Currently dwarsliggers are only available to John Green fans, but if the format takes off, expect to see commuters clutching dwarsliggers on trains around the country. In the meantime, there’s nothing wrong with a good John Green read. ($28)

—Constance Grady, book critic

So, yes, this absolutely seems like a parody of a gift you might get for one of the Real Housewives. I received one in a swag bag at a film festival this year and laughed at first. Then I brought it home. Then I put wine in it. Then I realized that it was the ideal accompaniment to a long stretch of hours spent watching movie screeners or, more likely, binging an upcoming season of Big Little Lies or The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I’m not great at wine glasses, and I live in perpetual fear of spilling some cabernet on my couch. The sturdy construction of this tumbler, which is about the same size and shape as a travel mug with a lid, means I don’t have to worry anymore. I am a convert. ($7)

—Alissa Wilkinson

If you have friends who love reality television — any kind, from RuPaul’s Drag Race to the Real Housewives franchise — please consider getting them a Cameo. Cameo is basically the singing telegram for the modern era. For a fee, you can get celebrities (usually minor ones) and athletes to make a downloadable video message; you give the celebs an outline of what you want the message to say, and they record something custom for your friend(s). (Cameo, from $17)

—Alex Abad-Santos

There are a fair number of book subscription boxes out there, and a lot of them will throw in some form of beverage — coffee beans, tea bags, hot chocolate mix — with the books. What’s fun about Blue Spider’s Attic is that the books they mail out with their beverages are secondhand — which means that a) a monthly subscription is cheaper than a lot of the other book subscription boxes out there, and b) you’re more likely to come across an old book you haven’t heard of before. Since all the books are chosen by real people, based on a questionnaire you fill out explaining your tastes, you’re basically getting a guided tour through a really well-stocked used bookstore every month, without ever having to leave your house. (Blue Spider Attic, $20)

—Constance Grady

Book lovers will adore artist Jane Mount’s “Ideal Bookshelf” project, where she paints various celebrities, authors’ and influencers’ ideal bookshelves — a collection of up to 15 of their favorite books. You can buy one that showcases the picks of someone you admire, or, better yet, you can have Jane make a custom print, which makes for an unforgettable gift tailored to your recipient’s personal tastes. When my husband and I first moved in together, we ordered a custom print from Jane that combined 10 of our favorite books. Years later, it’s still my favorite piece of art that we own. (Ideal Bookshelf, $34)

—Nisha Chittal, engagement editor

I‘ve seen Come From Away three times with both friends and family since it opened in 2017, and I’ve loved it more each time. The true story of 7,000 airline passengers stranded in remote Newfoundland after 9/11, it’s a simple, well-acted, and well-designed musical that manages to feel lively, engaging, and genuine, all while avoiding schmaltz. I’ve been struck each time I’ve seen it by how necessary it continues to feel in the current political climate — how hope-giving and hopeful. It’s currently playing on Broadway and touring throughout the US, but if you can’t find a performance near you, the original Broadway cast recording is also worth your time. ($12 for the mp4 album)

—Aja Romano, internet culture reporter

Original Source -> Vox’s gift guide for culture aficionados

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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nanasshabyattic · 7 years

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Creativity is a disease of the mind characterized by an inability to stop compulsions to discover, produce, and design new things; and is triggered or worsened with chalk paint. Pinterest I had so many thoughts racing in my brain. I had so many ideas, so many things I wanted to try, so many things I wanted to research, and so many things I wanted to learn! I felt and knew in this exact moment, that I was destined to change the world, with this tool. The wooden stick with yellow, wispy hairs seeping from it's end, lay flat in the palm of my hand. It was the most intriguing object I had ever held. I knew, in that very moment, I was in love. I wanted to rub the straw-like hairs across my face, in a circular motion. I wanted to learn what it would feel like if I was a canvas being painted. It was the first chalk paint brush I was able to get my hands on, and the brush I used every day for months, and months on end. That night, I had Mike running to the store all hours of the night, to buy more supplies, tools and chalk paint: I needed inspirational objects that would spike the creativity within me. I needed plaster of Paris and latex paint colors to create the perfect, handmade chalk paint recipe. I needed more paint colors to mix and match. I needed different kinds of chalk paint, from different places. I needed wood appliqués, wood glue, and sand paper. I needed wax, glaze, matte finish, spray sealant. I needed EVERYTHING chalk paint and I needed to test it all! By the end of that night, the hallway from our living room to our bedroom, had became a gigantic chalkboard. I had put a design or two (floral designs, finger paintings, dribbles of paint balls, you name it) on almost every piece of furniture in the house by the end of the week. I even progressed to chalk painting my porcelain toilet seat, and topping it with metallic glitter. I needed to understand how chalk paint reacted with every type of surface. How else was I going to learn, by typing it into google? Nah, too easy. Ill never forget the look on my boyfriend's face, when he entered our small, apartment bathroom that night, and found me on my knees, in nothing but a bed-shirt. My bare legs were immensely covered in an array of paint colors. I was hovering over our porcelain toilet, paint brush in hand, with 8 gallons of paint to my right, and a new package of 50 cotton rags behind me. I asked him if he had to use the bathroom, because if he did, he better go now! I proceeded to blab on in detail, about my plans to turn our boring toilet seat into some bling-bling, by adding glitter to the first paint layer, and distressing the top coats. Michael's jaw, which had dropped several inches toward the ground, his mouth wide open wide enough for a car to drive through, went unnoticed for several minutes. My creative mindset had taken over, and I was in the zone. I picked up the adhesive beside me and brushed it over the top of the toilet seat. Then, I asked my boyfriend to hand me the 16 oz container of silver glitter/sparkles beside him. He did not hand me the glitter. In fact, he did not move or react at all, to what I had just said. Wondering why he had said nothing, I turned to look at him. With no expression on his face, he stood in that spot for what seemed like a lifetime, completely silent. I stared at him the entire time. Out of nowhere, a smile began to gently rise upon his face. It was the kind of smile that only happens when you see something ridiculously adorable, for the first time (like the first time you find out what a Tea-cup puppy is). Then, he sat down beside me on the tile floor, his clothes covered in chalk paint, from rubbing up against the chalk painted cabinet, in the bathroom. Confused, I sat, waiting for a reaction. Michael turned toward me, with the same giant grin across his face and a sparkle in his baby blue eyes, and softly spoke, "You are the most amazing person I have ever met. If you only knew how much I love you." Next, he picked up the 2nd paint brush that lay between the sink and the toilet, and asked, "What can I do to help you re-design the world baby? What is our plan?" "Well sweetheart, for starters, you should give me back that paint brush. We both know that this will end terribly, if I let you design anything. You are not exactly the artsy, creative one in this relationship," I spit out, as he dipped the bristles of the brush, in the open gallon of Ballet Slipper pink paint. "You missed a Spot!" he shouted. Before I could comprehend what was about to happen, Michael brushed the bristles of the brush across my face. Covering the entire surface of my cheek, we rejoiced in laughter. From that night on, Mike and I learned everything we could- we researched everything about reclaimed wood, furniture, decor, chalk paint, etc. We read blogs and shared lunches with established woodcrafters, furniture salesman, important home designers, and soaked in everything they had to share. Mike, having learned a great deal about wood crafting, over the past 30 years, from his father, shared his knowledge with me. My boyfriends father has been crafting and selling wood decor and furniture for 40+ years. I have seen him bring home fallen trees from the forest, and turn them into exquisitely crafted bird houses, clocks, chairs, tables, and so much more! Along with passing on his knowledge to Mike and I, he gave us the hands-on experience: teaching us the proper way of to handle anything, and everything that comes our way- from cleaning the wood to properly packaging items to be safely hauled away, once it is sold. After turning our tiny apartment into a shabby, chalk painted, vintage paradise and acquiring an abundance of knowledge and hands-on practice, we finally decided to open shop. As for Michael, well, he never did quite learn how to generate beautiful paint designs (I still let him paint with me if he wants to try, I just paint over it later). ;) For now, I think he'll stick to watching: he enjoys watching me design every piece, and couldn't be happier. Observing and listening, my boyfriend now understands my obsession with cottage chic, rustic, and distressed styles: It allows me to express how I feel. Our imperfections, flaws, shortcomings and scars tell the story of our life. A story full of many ups, and many downs. But, it is only during times of anguish, when we are forced to fight and win the battle, fight to survive, that we build upon our character. Chalk paint brought forth an incredible trend. We use it to embrace age, imperfections, and scars, in the items we paint. The paint is used to prove the potential and bring out the character within every piece. Chalk paint is used to highlight the distressed areas of reclaimed wood, proving the flaws to be beautiful. The layers are easily removed, and willing to expose what is underneath. With the creation of chalk paint we were quietly reminded that everything has potential. Our flaws and imperfections create more potential for beauty, not less.The deepest cuts leave the biggest impressions on who we become. The mountains we triumph over and the hurdles we jump, leave permanent impressions inside of us and those we impact around us. The scars left behind, prove our strength and growth. Over time, we get cuts, scrapes, and bruises: we age, we learn, and our character grows. Only with age, and in time, can we rise to our full potential and develop a character worthy of recognition. The marks left behind from the hardships we faced, should never be shamed, covered up, or hidden. They should be embraced! Nobody is perfect. Nothing is perfect. And nobody cares if you look fat in those jeans, besides you. When you learn to accept your imperfections as your greatest qualities, the rest of the world will see them that way too! True beauty lies within those who accept everything that they are. Learn to love yourself. Learn to love your furniture. Learn to embrace the marks left behind from hardships in life. Learn how much potential reclaimed wood has to offer. Learn the story behind what makes it's imperfections, so beautiful. From this, arose my new shop! And now, I have illustrated my abilities in the creation of over 45+ custom designs, and by re-creating 8 POS sales in person, 3 sales on Etsy, 1 sale on my person webpage, 14 sales on EBAY, 12 Sales on Poshmark, 6 completed sales on OfferUp, and my followers are growing! I've even got 1200+ followers on Instagram now! At NanasShabyAtTic, I have built all of my designs based on my first experience with chalk paint. I always embrace the faults & flaws. This is what makes my style unique & my pieces original. Plus, I offer BRAND NEW wood products, made of reclaimed wood (to avoid added toxins) items. Quality, solid, durable furniture is important. I wanted to give my buyers something special that would last! This is why I do not use reclaimed furniture or decor for my custom designs. However, when I am designing a new item to put in my shop, wood pieces that are dented, scratched, scraped, stained, etc. are perfect. Currently, I am still distressing and aging my shop website & organizing my shop collections. Don't worry, all of our products will be up and available for purchase, in no time! In the meantime, follow NanasShabyAtTic on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook to connect with us and see what were up too! We would love to see what your up too, and we love to return social media favors! ;) Nanasshabyattic Shop Instagram Feed Be sure to follow us on Instagram to get updates on our latest custom orders in the making, discount codes, and free product give-aways. Join our 1200+ growing fans- see why they love us! Or, our free stuff and frequent discount giveaways... Instagram We engage our followers & just for following us, you will be eligible for a $5.00 off coupon, that can be spent on any of our products here, on our webpage OR on our Etsy shop! Be sure to drop us a message and let us know it was you who followed us! OR tag us @NanasShabyAtTic on Instagram for an additional $20.00 off your next purchase! Just include a photo from one of our shops that you really love! You can see whats trending inside NanasShabyAtTic4u, our Etsy Shop by clicking here: @NanasShabyAtTic4u on Etsy Favorite our shop & subscribe to follow our design process. Get our DIY project updates, tips, tricks, photos, & more, on your Etsy shop newsfeed. - Drop us a little note on Etsy after you hit the favorite button, and let us know it was you who did us the favor. We will send you a special handmade gift in the mail, in the custom colors of your choice. - Just hit the favorite button here on our Etsy Shop ;) Check out our custom chalk & metallic paint options. If you want to know what our free product giveaway of the month is.. you will have to subscribe to our shop newsletter. You can subscribe to our low volume email list for monthly updates about our free product promotions. Otherwise, you will just have to hit that favorite button, tell us a few of your favorite colors, and wait! Subscribe to our Newsletter on our shop homepage Subscribe to our Newsletter for monthly updates about our FREE product giveaways. +first time customers receive 200 customer loyalty points (equivalent to $20.00), a coupon redeemable for 5.00 off your order, & a discount code for 35% off your entire first purchase! Want to get more cash or discount rates toward the products in our store? Or check out what NanasShabyAtTic has to share with you, that you won't find on Etsy, or Instagram? Follow & like us on Facebook for an additional $5.00 off coupon. and be sure to tag us @NanasShabyAtTic4u so we know to send you your coupon! Follow us on Twitter Use on Twitter and we'll give you an additional 10% that can be added and used with any of your other coupons or discount codes on any of our platforms. Pinterest

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