“It’s time to go to the doctor, baby.”
Eddie Munson x female reader
summary: an evening at steve’s takes a turn for the worst.
warnings: undiagnosed bipolar, disassociation, depression, language. i have bipolar so this is my experience, it might be different for anyone else so please bare that in mind. it can vary from person to person. i hope this reaches the right audience. having bp is life altering, but we get through it! you’re not alone <3
You only went because you knew how excited Eddie was to see his friends, and you had been too, but when you woke up, you knew it was going to be another one of those days. Something was wrong with you. You didn’t know what, but you knew it was bad. Your body was changing and not for the better. You were too scared to go to the doctor, petrified of what could potentially be wrong with you. Your worst fear was finding out maybe you had cancer or some life threatening disease.
Eddie knew to some degree that you were suffering, but you didn’t let on how much it bothered you. As far as he knew, you were just depressed, in a phase that you would eventually get out of. Neither of you knew how serious it actually was. All day you’d done your best to keep your head high and a smile on your face, and you’d done very well considering.
You were hanging out at Steve’s watching the new Friday the 13th, both Robin and Dustin where there. You tried your best to pay attention to the screen in front of you, but you couldn’t remember what had even happened in the previous scene. Eddie was to your left, hand on your leg, and Dustin was to your right munching on popcorn.
You felt so drained, but not like a tired kind of drained, the worst type of exhaustion you could ever imagine. It was like being run over by ten trains, thrown into a volcano and being punched by a wwe wrestler. That kind of exhaustion. The kind where all you wanted to do was lay on the floor, despite the fact the room was full of people. You couldn’t pay attention to the tv, you kept forgetting what was happening. You didn’t even feel like your body was present, your mind somewhere off far away in wonderland or oz.
It scared you when this happened. Eddie’s hand on your leg felt fuzzy and unreal, Dustin’s shoulder that brushed against yours felt nonexistent. You felt nonexistent. You felt as if your soul was suspended in the air and you were looking down at your body. But how could you explain that to Eddie? He’d think you were crazy, surely! So you suffered in silence.
This had been going on for almost six months. The only person who knew was Eddie. He’d been trying to convince you to go to the doctor to get out on some sort of medication for depression, but you felt ridiculous. It surely had to be all in your head. But tonight, it was starting to take it’s toll on you, the exhaustion.
You felt this overwhelming amount of dread cover your body, like a dark cloudy blanket that dampened your mood like rain. You wanted so badly to cry, but you couldn’t muster up the tears.
“Snack break, anyone?” Steve asked, pausing the movie with the remote.
“Got any of those nacho cheese chips?” Eddie patted your leg.
“You mean doritos?” Dustin laughed, giving him a sideways glance.
All three of the boys laughed and ventured off to the kitchen, leaving you sit in your silence. It felt so good. The tv off, only a flicker or two of static. You felt your brain relax, and you allowed your tears to fall. Your breath hitched in your throat and your face crumpled together. You covered your mouth so no one could hear you, your fingernails digging into your lips.
It took you over, and even though you were sitting on a perfectly good couch, the floor was just calling your name. You crawled off the couch, sinking down to the cold, hardwood floor and curling into a tight ball. Your body relaxed into it’s dead weight, and you let out a whimper that made you shiver.
Their voices sounded underwater, their footsteps vibrating the ground beneath your ear, sounding like loud thumps. You could hear their laughter and giggles, high fives, all muzzled and fuzzy like the tv screen. You could hear Eddie’s voice get closer, high pitched and alarmed. You felt his hands grip your body, trying to pull you up off the floor, but your dead weight wouldn’t allow it. You blinked tiredly, not wanting to communicate with him. You could hear Dustin and Steve come closer.
“Baby,” Eddie shook you, face close to yours so he could search your eyes. “Y/n, what happened! What’s wrong?” He panicked, looking you over for any injuries.
He frowned at the sight of your tears, quiet ones that rolled over your nose. “Sweetheart? Talk to me, angel. Are you alright?”
His palms swiped your cheek to collect your tears, petting your hair and trying his best to lift you off the floor.
“Tired.” You managed to mumble, crying lightly with your hands tucked to your chest. “I’m so tired, Eddie.”
He narrowed his eyes in confusion.
“Is she okay?”
“What happened?”
“Should we call an ambulance?”
He ignored the panicked voices of Steve and Dustin, holding his hand to shush them. “Tired?” He said gently, lifting you up into his lap. “Why are you tired, honey?”
You shrugged your shoulders, moving your eyes upward so you could see him. “Something’s wrong with me.”
It clicked to him then what you were referring to, and his face dropped, leaning his forehead to yours as he sighed deeply. “It’s time to go to the doctor, baby.”
You didn’t argue this time, nodding gently. “Yeah.”
He gave you a kiss on your cheek. “Wanna go home? You want me to carry you?”
You allowed him to lift you up in his arms, burying your face in his chest as he opted to leave your shoes at the door. He’d come back and get them tomorrow. He gave a farewell and an apology to his friends, saying he’d explain later as he took you out to his van.
He held your hand on the way home with you laying on the seat, head in his lap. When he got you both home, he carried you inside and laid you on your bed, helping you out of your clothes and into your pajamas. He tried to get you to talk, to open up, but you couldn’t muster up much. You kept saying you needed to rest, you needed quiet.
Eddie was as scared as you to find out what the doctor would have to say.
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