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a-bang-for-your-bucky · 3 years

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Playin' With Fire: The Morning After

Summary: Santiago and Dani deal with the fallout of their actions the night before. Dani starts preparations to leave for South America with Santiago. We get to dive more into Dani and Santi’s relationship, and Santi learns something about Dani’s past.

Warnings: 18+, Implications of smut, suggestive language, explicit language, ANGST, mentions of a car wreck and death (no descriptions), Dani does experience some anxiety and self-consciousness.

Word Count: 5,851

A/N: This whole series is a wild ride of emotions, and as I proof-read for posting, I find myself wanting to go in a whole different direction than originally planned. After this part, we start getting into the events of the movie, which is separated into three chapters. There are cameos in this chapter from another favorite show of mine. I know it’s unlikely that these characters would ever meet, but fuck it, it’s fan-fiction.

Dani’s alarm went off at 5:00am. Groaning, she reached over to press snooze. The light of her phone made her squint. She twisted the switch on the bedside table lamp, emitting a small glow across her room. “Shit,” She cursed, her body deliciously sore from the events of the night before.

She was never good at dealing with “the morning after’. She almost hoped that Santiago had snuck out while she was sleeping, but the warmth of the space beside her told her he was still there. What did I do? She thought. Guilt washed over her as she rolled over to face the man in her bed. She studied the features of his face, memories of the night before flooded her mind. Just the thoughts made heat pool in the pit of her stomach.

“Staring is rude, sweetheart.” Santiago’s words startled her, making her gasp. “Sorry, Teq.” He chuckled, his eyes still closed. How did he even know? Right, trained soldier.

“You’re still here?” She asked him, surprise thick in her voice. His eyes snapped open to look at her.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You know you were more than a one night stand.” He explained, bringing a hand up to brush a stray strand of hair out of her face. “In fact, I really wouldn’t mind if last night happened again.” He suggested with a smirk.

Dani was speechless, staring at his sexy, sleepy, face. “I, uh, um, I have to shower. My shift starts at seven.” She stuttered over her words, trying not to let him see the effect he was having on her. She moved to get up, only stopping because she remembered she was naked. “Could you, um, not look when I get up?” She blushed nervously, pulling the sheet tighter around her.

“Really Teq? Yeah, I won’t look.” He promised, then added, “Even though I already know you have a little birthmark that looks like a heart on your ass.” he teased her, and she smacked him with a pillow. Santiago shut his eyes and squeezed them tight.

Once she was sure he wasn’t peaking, she rushed up and over to the chair in the corner of her room, wrapping herself in her fuzzy robe. “Okay, you can open them.”

He slowly opened his eyes, taking in the sight of her. Her dirty blonde hair was a mess of loose curls. If this was how she looked every morning, he wouldn’t mind waking up with her. He knew he should feel bad. If, when Frankie finds out that he slept with her, that he is taking her to South America, he’s gonna be pissed. It might just ruin their friendship, but in this moment, looking at Dani, he didn’t care.

Dani felt self-conscious under Santiago’s gaze. She pulled the robe tighter around her body, trying to cover herself more. He noticed immediately, and all but jumped off the bed toward her. “Dani, you are absolutely beautiful. You don’t have to hide from me.” He complimented her and he meant every word. He embraced her face with his hands, his thumbs, lovingly brushing over her cheeks. Slowly, Santiago lowered his lips to hers. Gently, he coaxed her lips apart with his own, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue past them.

The kiss wasn’t hurried like the previous night. He took his time, tracing the contour of her mouth, memorizing the feeling of her lips on his. The kiss gradually grew more fervent, needy. It was almost as if they separated, they would fall to pieces. Santiago released her face, moving his hands to the tie of her robe. Dani groaned as she pulled away, his hands falling to her hips, to keep her close. “I have to shower.” She said, reminding herself more than Santiago.

“I’ll join you.” He countered, fiddling with the tie again. She shook her head.

“Santi, I have to go to work. And you do, too.” She pointed out, grabbing his hands away. Their fingers laced together as he moved to place methodical kisses to her neck.

She whimpered as he nibbled her ear and he whispered, “I’ll make it quick. Let me make you feel good, querida.” How could she say no to that?

Forty-five minutes later, they exited Dani’s room and walked into the kitchen. Benny was already up, pouring a cup of coffee. “Morning,” He greeted them with a raised brow.

“Morning, Benny!” Santi beamed with a huge smile, all but telling Benny what had transpired between them. Benny tossed a knowing look at Dani.

“Don’t say anything, Benjamin.” Dani warned him with a pointed finger, “I have fifteen minutes to get to work.” She added, as she poured the liquid energy into her travel cup. Santiago handed her the creamer with a wink.

“Oh, Danika Kate, we are so talking about this later.” Benny teased, as she flew by him, grabbing her bag and keys. Santi threw Benny a ‘bye’ over his shoulder as he quickly followed behind her.

He walked her to her white Camry, opening the door for her to slide in. She started the car, rolling down the window, and closed the door.

“Can I at least get a goodbye kiss?” He pouted. All Dani could think about was biting that bottom lip. She acquiesced to his request, nodded her head ‘yes’.

He leaned into the window, giving her a sweet peck. Dani felt her stomach flutter. She knew she was in trouble. “I’ll call you later. Maybe we can grab a late dinner and talk about Colombia, yeah?” He hoped, not really wanting her to leave.

“Yeah, I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.” She smiled, taking a quick glance at her watch. “Shit, I really have to go.” Santiago gave her one more quick kiss before telling her bye, and she drove away. The two of them were too caught up in each other to see Frankie’s truck stopped in the road, where he saw everything.

Dani had gotten to the hospital right on time. She barely made it through the ER doors before she was being called, “Dr. Reid.” She spotted the head nurse waving her over to the nurse’s station.

“Hey, Rebecca. How was your night?” Dani asked with a smile, sitting her stethoscope down on the counter to toss her messy hair into a bun, and then threw it back around her neck.

“It was hectic. We got slammed with a four car pile up after you left.” Rebecca sighed, handing her a tablet. “Bed four is ready to be seen. He came in with a complaint of ‘his worst headache ever’. BP is 185/100 with a long history of hypertension.” She presented to Dani as she looked over his chart.

Dani thanked her and moved toward the occupied bed. “Mr. Turner, this is your third time here this month. I thought we talked about this?” Dani chided, checking over his vital signs machine.

Mr. Turner shifted in the bed, “I know, Dr. Reid, but those meds made me feel so bad. I can’t take ‘em. Can’t you just give me something for the headache?” The patient requested.

Dani shook her head. “What good will it do you if we don’t treat the cause? Mr. Turner, your blood pressure is severely uncontrolled.” Dani paused, pinching the bridge of her nose, “If you don’t get this under control, you can die or have a stroke.” She explained to him, but could tell she was getting nowhere.

She pulled the rolling stool over to his bedside, taking a seat. “Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna treat your blood pressure first. Once we get that down, if the headache doesn’t go away, I’ll treat it. Deal?” She bargained with him. Mr. Turner grumbled an ‘okay’ knowing he wasn’t going to win. “Perfect. Rebecca or Nicole will be back with your medicine.” She patted him on the shoulder, flashing him a sweet smile.

Walking back over to the nurse’s station, she gave Nicole the medication orders. Dani made sure to tell Nicole to get her if the patient gave her any trouble. Dani liked working mornings in the ER. Usually, it was pretty slow.

She sat behind her computer, working on chart notes, when she heard a commotion in the ER lobby. “I’m looking for Dr. Reid. I’m her so-called best friend.” She knew that voice. Dani rose from her seat so fast she knocked it to the ground as she ran out of her office. She rushed around the corner to see Frankie being held by two security guards. “Fuck,” She mumbled, stomping toward him.

“Tequila!” Frankie boomed, trying to move past the guards. “Come on, Teq. Tell ‘em to let me go.” He told her as they continued their hold.

She shook her head, “Frankie, stop. Let’s go talk somewhere that isn’t in the middle of my ER” She looked around at the growing crowd as she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward her office. She closed the door behind them. Dani walked around her wooden desk, picking up the knocked over computer chair. “What the hell are you doing, Frankie?” She questioned him, taking a seat.

Frankie scoffed, “I could ask you the same damn thing.” Frankie sat in one of the other chairs, crossing his arms.

“I’m trying to fucking work, Fish.” She hissed at him. His nostrils flared, a quick sign that he was mad.

“I saw you and Pope.” He confessed, and Dani’s heart dropped. Thoughts raced through her mind. She wasn’t sure how to explain it. Then again, after everything Frankie has done in the last twenty-four hours, did she care?

“That’s none of your business.” She replied calmly, sitting forward in her seat. “You have no right to be upset.”

Frankie rolled his eyes, “You fucked my best friend, I think I do.” The words flew from his mouth before he could stop them. Dani’s eyes widened and she stood up.

“Get out. This conversation is over.” She demanded, pointing toward the door. Frankie didn’t move. “Get the fuck out, Morales, before I call security.” Frankie conceded, standing up, opening the door, and walked out.

Once she was sure he was gone, she let out a shaky breath, falling back into her seat. She cradled her head, thinking about how everything had gotten so messed up. Frankie had no right to be mad at her, right?

A knock at the door drew her out of her thoughts, and she lifted her head. “Shit, you okay Reid?” The doctor in the doorway asked.

She wiped the stray tears that had fallen and sniffled, “Yeah, I’m good, Karev. Have you seen the Chief? I need to talk to her.”

Dr. Karev studied her face for a second before answering, “Last I saw her, she was in her office. Are you sure you’re good?” He asked again, concerned. She nodded, and he went on his way.

Dani left her office, walking toward the Chief of Surgery’s. She stopped outside of the door, the sign read ‘Dr. Meredith Grey, Chief of Surgery.’ She took a deep breath to center herself before knocking on the door. A muffled ‘come in’ filtered through the wood. She opened the door and stepped inside. “Ah, Dr. Reid, just who I needed to see.” Dr. Grey welcomed, gesturing for her to have a seat, which she quickly took. This wasn’t good.

“I heard there was an incident in the ER lobby this morning. What happened?” She questioned her. Dani gulped, unsure of how to answer.

“I’m so sorry, Mere. It was my friend, Frankie.” Dani sighed. She wasn’t going to need to put in a leave, because she was going to get fired.

“Frankie, like the best friend with the coke addiction, Frankie? Why would he be screaming in the lobby?” Meredith wanted to know. Dani had talked to her some about what he had been going through, trying to get advice on how to help him.

“It’s a really long story. The short version is: He did something stupid, really stupid. And then I did something that may or may not have as equally stupid. He found out, and threw a tantrum about it.” Dani explained, realizing that maybe that wasn’t the short version. Meredith cocked an eyebrow at her, shaking her head.

“I swear, you residents are going to be the death of me. Keep your drama at home, Reid.” Meredith groused and rubbed her temples. Dani didn’t want to mention South America now, but she had to; A month would go by faster than she could blink.

“Um, there was actually something I needed to talk to you about. A friend of mine got me connected with a hospital in Colombia, South America. They offered me a position, and I really wanna take it.” Nervousness was radiating off of Dani as she finally spoke these words out loud. Meredith was the first person she had told that she was going. If she couldn’t tell her, how was she going to tell Benny and Will? How was she going to tell Frankie?

“That’s, that’s great, Dani. You should go. I will work on getting the paperwork you will need. And you will always have a spot here at Memorial.” Meredith promised her. Those words lifted a weight off of her. She quickly thanked her, and got up to leave. “Hey, why don’t you take the day off? You’ve been working a lot lately. You can’t save lives if you’re tired.” Meredith added.

“Thank you, Chief.” Dani said sincerely

before walking back to her office to gather her things. She quickly typed a text to Santiago. Hey, Grey is letting me off for the day. We need to talk, Frankie showed up at the hospital. She pressed send and exhaled sharply.

Santiago responded when she was getting into her car. Fuck, is everything okay? Do I need to come to you?

No. Just meet me at the house.

Santiago was sure he broke a hundred laws getting to the Miller house. He didn’t know what Frankie had done, but if Dani had left early from work, it couldn’t be good. She was already home when he pulled into the driveway. He was inside the house and in her room before he recognized he even got out of his truck. “Teq?” She was sitting on her bed, staring at the doorway.

“Frankie knows, Santi.” Was all she responded. Santiago cursed under his breath, moving to take a seat next to her. “He showed up at the hospital, caused a scene.” Dani continued to tell him everything.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Santiago groaned. This wasn’t how he wanted Frankie to find out. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. He turned to look at her. Her face was void of any emotion. “Are you okay?” He asked. She nodded and it wasn’t entirely a lie.

The events of the day showed her that she needed to go. That she wasn’t doing anyone any good here. She knew that if she stayed, she’d destroy herself trying to save Frankie. It wasn’t her responsibility to save someone who didn’t want to save themselves. It would break her heart, but broken hearts are easier healed than broken spirits.

“So, you’re really going with me?” Santiago’s cedar eyes bright with happiness as the words rolled off his tongue. He slung an arm around her shoulder. Pulling her into him, so she could rest her head against him.

“I’m going, Pope.” She sighed, content with her decision. “Meredith is already working on my travel papers. I”m gonna finish my shifts for the next two weeks, that way I’ll have plenty of time to pack.”

“Pack?” Will’s voice made their heads whip toward the door. “What do you mean ‘pack’?” Will asked again, widening his stance, arms crossing over his chest.

“We’re going to have to tell’em eventually, Cariño.” Santiago said, placing a kiss to her head.

Dani sat there staring at Will. He had been her rock for years. The entire Miller family had taken her in after the accident. When Will joined the army, it was her he wrote letters to. When Benny joined, it was the same way. The two men quickly took over the role of ‘older brother’ teaching her how to defend herself; Their father taught her basic car maintenance; Their mother taught her to cook.

“Okay. Someone tell me what the fuck is going on.” Will cured, “When did this happen?” He gestured between Dani and Santiago.

“You have missed a lot in the last twenty-four hours, hermano.” Santiago told him as he removed his arm from around her. Dani shifted, creating some space between her and the man beside her. Will moved further into the room, taking a seat in her corner chair.

Dani fiddled with her fingers, not even sure where to begin. Santiago noticed her nerves, offering her his hand for comfort. She accepted, lacing her fingers with his. The warmth from him flowed through her, causing her to shiver. Feeling like she could face anything holding Santiago’s hand, she took a deep breath before telling Will what happened with Frankie. By the end of the story, Will’s face had his emotions written all over it.

He was pissed. How could Frankie do that to her? How could she run away with Pope? “So, you’re just gonna leave?” He asked, voice low and gravely. “You think that’s the answer?”

She shook her head, “No, I don’t. But I’m not thinking about me. I’m thinking about the good I can do there. I’m thinking about the people I can save.” Dani put emphasis on ‘can’ to try and get her point across.

Will nodded, understanding where she was coming from. They had a similar conversation when he left for the army. “If this is truly what you want, then I support you, one hundred percent.” Will gave her his blessing. Dani launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his middle.

“Thank you, Will.” She chirped as he squeezed her tightly. She released him, straightening herself up.

“Don’t thank me yet, sweetheart. You still have to tell Benny.” Dani’s eyes widened. Benny was going to be crushed.

After the conversation, Will had left Dani and Santiago, but not before threatening that he’d hunt Santi down if Dani didn’t make it back. Santiago promised he’d protect her as if his life depended on it, which it did.

Not long after, Santiago left. His lunch break was long over and his boss was blowing up his phone. Dani used the time to herself to sit and think about everything. The more she thought about it, the more she knew she was making the right choice. She contemplated on how she was going to tell Benny. She decided to make his favorite dinner; His mom’s famous chicken pot pie. Thankfully, she had everything she needed.

Benny entered the house right as Dani pulled the meal out of the oven. “Holy shit. Tell me that’s what I think it is.” Benny grinned as he dropped his keys to the counter.

“Yep! Momma Miller’s chicken pot pie!” Dani answered him, putting the piping hot dish on the counter. “Why don’t you go clean up while it cools?”

Benny walked around the island to hug her. “You’re the best, Tequila. What did I do to deserve a best friend like you?” He questioned out loud before walking back through the house. Dani’s stomach dropped. She wasn’t ready for this.

Benny came back into the kitchen about fifteen minutes later. Dani had the table set for just the two of them. “What about Will?” Benny asked at the sight of the two plates.

“Date. Probably won’t be back tonight.” Dani replied, grabbing a beer out of the fridge. She handed it to the blonde man in front of her, gesturing for him to sit.

“Alright. What’s up, Teq? I know you well enough to know when something’s wrong.” Benny called her out. The two of them have never had secrets. Will always joked that they were more like siblings than he and Benny were.

Dani told Benny all about Frankie while they ate. She explained everything that happened between her and Santiago. “Santi, he, uh. He’s asked me to go to South America with him. And I said yes.” She whispered, and Benny almost choked.

“You can’t go to South America.” Benny said in between coughs. He cleared his throat. “Teq, you can’t go. I feel like I just got you back.”

Tears welled in her eyes, “Oh, Ben. You never lost me. You are always going to be the pain in the ass brother I always wanted.” She reached across the table to him. “I’ll text and call whenever I can. I'm not gonna be gone forever.” She promised him.

Benny stood up, his chair scraping against the tile. He pulled Dani to her feet, embracing her in his arms. The hug told Dani everything she needed to know. He was silently giving her his approval. They sat back down and finished eating, Benny asking the occasional question about what she would be doing there. She honestly didn’t know, but she was excited to see where this path would take her. When they were done, Benny helped her clean up, loading the dishwasher while she put away the leftovers.

The two of them dropped to the couch, turning on a movie. Benny hit pause and turned to her. “I gotta know. Is the sex that good, that you’d follow him to another country?” He jested, his voice playful.

Dani rolled her eyes, “Wouldn’t you like to know. Looking for tips, Miller?” She chuckled, throwing him a wink. Benny huffed a laugh, sticking his tongue out at her before he un-paused the movie.

Week by week, the days seemed to pass by a little faster. As their departure date grew closer, Dani grew more nervous. Not nervous, like she was regretting her decision, but nervous like she couldn’t wait to see what the future held for her.

Although they completely supported their friend, Will and Benny tried to get her to stay. They hated that she was leaving. They even tried to get their mom to convince her to stay. Boy, did that backfire. Momma Miller was nothing but excited for her, telling Dani to take complete advantage of the wondrous opportunity.

Dani laid in her bed, sparing a glance at her phone. 6:30am. Santiago would be there soon, coming to take her to get her stuff from the hospital. She finished her last shift days ago, but put off getting her things. A piece of her wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Carolina Memorial had been her home. She experienced all of her ‘real doctor’ firsts there.

Pulling herself together, she slithered out of bed. Throwing on her robe, she tip-toed to the kitchen trying not to wake Benny. She started a pot of coffee. As if on cue, Benny shuffled into the room as the liquid began to drip. His blonde hair a mess, sleep still heavy in his eyes. “Good morning, Benjamin.” She said sweetly. He grumbled a response that she only assumed meant ‘Good morning’. Dani never understood why Benny still got up so early, even though he was not a morning person.

Luckily for Benny, Dani knew just how to perk him up. “Coffee, black, no sugar.” She said as she handed him a cup. Benny hummed in appreciation, taking the drink. Dani poured her own coffee, gazing out the kitchen window.

In true North Carolina fashion, the weather changed almost instantly. The day before had been beautiful, but today rain moved in, fog blocking out the sunshine. Dani hated days like this. Benny, who had drained his coffee, noticed Dani staring out the Window. He knew what was going through her head; He was the one who picked her up after.

“Hey.” Benny called out to her, and she turned to look at him. He didn’t need to say anything else, he just opened his arms.

“I’m gonna miss you, Benny-boy.” She spoke into his chest, and Benny chuckled at the nickname. He hadn’t been called that in years. Benny squeezed her tighter, only pulling away when loud bangs resounded through the house.

“Must be Pope.” Dani shrugged, pouring Benny another cup of coffee. Benny took it, going to open the door for him.

“Reid, I know you’re up. ¡Vamos!” Santiago yelled through the wood.

He jumped when the door swung open to reveal a very annoyed looking Benny. “What the fuck, man?” He groaned, taking a swig of his coffee.

Santiago smiled, “Sorry, Benny. I’m here to take Tequila to get her shit from the hospital.” He apologized. Benny mumbled something under his breath, moving to the side to let his friend in.

“She’s in the kitchen.” Benny said, gesturing toward it. Santiago slapped his shoulder as he passed by him, hastily making his way to her.

Santiago knew something was wrong when Dani hesitantly climbed into the cab of his red Ford. He recognized the look on her face, the anxiety. He’d worn that look many times. He didn’t press for information though. He just gave her hand a squeeze, reminding her that he was there.

As they drove along, something had dawned on Santiago. “So, we’ve known each other for what two years now?” Santiago asked Dani. She nodded in response, keeping her eyes on the road. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

She nodded again, “Santi, you’ve seen me naked. I think we are past ‘personal’.” She replied, fingers doing air quotes around personal.

Santiago bit his lip at the memory. It was only one night, but it was one of the best nights of his life. “You’ve met all of our families, right? Why haven’t we met yours?” He wondered, never recalling her even mentioning her family. Dani sucked in a breath at the question. She knew this day would come. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to tell him, it just wasn’t a pleasant memory.

“You guys are my family.” She whispered. “Well, the only family I have left. My parents died when I was seventeen, right before I was supposed to graduate. The Millers took me in, basically adopting me.” Dani paused, feeling Santi reach over to grab her hand. “I’m an only child, so Will and Benny are the big brothers I never had. No aunts, uncles, or cousins either.” She told him. The look on his face was the reason why she never told people, the look of pity.

“I’m sorry, Teq. How? If you-” He apologized, but she cut him off.

“It’s okay. They, uh, they wrecked their car. On a morning just like this. It was horrific. The hospital that they were transported to wasn’t a trauma center. They did their best to stabilize them for transfer, but it was too late.” She felt a tear drop as she sniffled.

Santiago wanted nothing more than to pull the truck over and take her in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Dani. Is that, is that why you became a trauma surgeon?” His words faltered, not wanting to push for too much information. She nodded; All she ever wanted was to do her best to prevent anyone from going through what she did.

The two gathered Dani’s belongings from her office rather quickly. Dani didn’t want to make a big deal about it. Meredith had stopped by, warning Santiago that he better take care of Dani or else and gave him the glare. Once they left, he told Dani that Meredith reminded him of Medusa, icy stare and all. She laughed so hard her stomach hurt, telling him that’s what the interns called her.

Dani remembered the night she first met Santiago Garcia. She had just graduated med school, completed her internship and was looking for a hospital to complete her residency. She reached out to the Miller brothers, who she grew up with, and stayed very close to. They welcomed her into their North Carolina home with open arms.

It was her first week there and the boys mentioned that they were having a friend coming in for a visit. “Pope is a good guy, one of the best, but will flirt with anything that has a pussy.” Ben warned her. She laughed at her friend’s crudness.

“Benny, you know I can handle myself. There is a reason y’all call me Tequila.” She reminded him, and Benny just nodded. “Besides, that is the last thing I need. I have a residency to focus on.”

Friday quickly approached. Benny went to meet Santiago at the airport while Dani and Will stayed to prepare for his arrival. Dani was helping Will cook dinner, when he came in from the back yard. “So, uh, I burnt the steaks.” Will confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. Dani threw a kitchen towel at him.

“Will! I marinated those steaks all day! How did you burn them?” She asked him, laying her head on the counter. “What are we going to feed your friend now?” The words were mumbled into the granite, but Will still heard her. He walked around, rubbing her shoulders.

“Santi will be fine with burgers from Luanne’s. You don’t need to impress him.” Will assured her and she groaned, standing up straight.

“Yes, I do. Aside from me, he’s one of your oldest friends. I want to make a good impression.” Dani knew she sounded whiny, but she really did want to impress Santiago. Will just gave her a look. “Fine, I’ll go ahead and call in an order. You think Benny will want his usual?” She asked, reaching for her cell. Will nodded and asked for his usual too. Dani quickly ordered their dinner, telling Will it was on him because he fucked up the steaks. Will laughed, tossing her his card and keys.

“Go get our food, Tequila.” He said teasingly. She shot him a quick middle finger before grabbing her bag and walking out the door.

Luanne’s was packed that night, so Dani ended up waiting a lot longer than she thought she would. Will had sent her a text saying that Benny was back and Santiago was asking where the mysterious Tequila was. She replied promptly, letting him know that she was leaving the diner now and that Luanne threw in a few slices of her apple pie for the wait.

Dani pulled Will’s jeep into the driveway. She slid out of the driver’s side, walking around to get the bag of food. She walked into the house, yelling that she was back. It was like a stampede through the Miller household. Benny rounded the corner first, followed by Will. Santiago came around last, calling Benny a “fucking cheater”.

“Guys, slow down.” Dani chuckled, walking the rest of the way into the kitchen. “What are you cheating at now, Benjamin?”

“Fucker thought he could pull a quick one. That was my fucking mushroom and you know it, Benny.” Santi explained, flashing a bright smile in Dani’s direction. “So, Tequila, I presume?” He stretched out a hand, introducing himself.

“Nice to finally meet you, Santiago. I’ve heard so many things about you.” She replied, shaking his hand. She pulled her hand back, and Santi shamelessly let his eyes roam over her.

“All good things, I hope? And Please, you can call me Santi.” He flirted, tongue swiping out to wet his lips, before sucking his bottom one back between his teeth. Dani scoffed and shook her head.

“Well boys, you were right. He didn’t even last five minutes.” Dani snorted, handing out the to-go boxes.

“Let’s eat. Then I can go back to kicking your asses at MarioKart.” Benny joked, before ripping into the container and taking a bite of his burger. “God, I swear Luanne makes the best burgers.” He groaned. The four of them ate, chit-chatting comfortably. Dani was surprised at how easy she fell in with Santi. It was like they had known each other forever.

Dani smiled fondly at the memory. Her and Santi stayed in touch after that weekend. She never imagined she’d find herself here, moving to another country with the man.

Even now though, when Santi had taken up so much of her time, she found her thoughts drifting back to Frankie. She was leaving in less than 24 hours and she still hadn’t told him. Dani picked up her phone, thumb hovering over the call symbol in Frankie’s contact. Before she could talk herself out of it, she pressed it. The line rang once, before going straight to voicemail. You’ve reached Frankie Morales. Leave a message. “Fuck.” Dani sighed out, tossing the phone to the bed.

Maybe it's better this way, maybe I should just go. Dani knew it would be hard, not saying goodbye. So she wrote him a letter. A letter telling him she was leaving, that she was sorry, and she would see him again.

Dani and Santiago opted for a midnight flight; The airport was almost empty. "You can still stay, you know? I won't hold it against you." Santi whispered to her. He could see the hurt in her eyes. He knew leaving would be hard on her, especially after everything with Frankie.

"You're stuck with me, Pope. My name is already on the apartment lease." She smiled at him. She was more than ready to go. Ready to make peace with her past and embrace her future.

Frankie woke up and started his normal morning routine. Vanessa was already in the kitchen making coffee. "Hey, this was stuck to the door." She told him, handing him an envelope. His name in her hand writing. He ripped it open, pulling the paper out. His eyes roamed the page, reading every word.

"No. No. No." Frankie mumbled, "fuck, I have to go." Frankie grabbed his keys and rushed over to her house.

He banged on the door, not relenting until Will opened it. "Tell me she isn't gone. Tell me Dani didn't leave." Frankie cried, still gripping the letter in his hand.

Will shook his head. " I'm sorry, Fish. They flew out last night."

Frankie's heart stalled in his chest. He dropped to the concrete of Will's porch. She was gone. He never got to apologize for anything. She was gone.

Catfish,

I hope this finds you well. I tried, Frankie. I tried to call. I tried to come see you. After everything that’s happened, I figured that this way was for the best. I’m leaving , Fish. I’m going to South America with Santi. By the time you get this, I’ll already be 35,000 feet in the air.

I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m so fucking sorry. I wanted so bad to help you, to be what you needed, but I wasn’t. And that’s okay.

Frankie, when we meet again, I hope things are better. I hope you are better. I want nothing but happiness for you. You will always be my best friend.

Love always,

Tequila.

TAGS: @danniburgh @speakerforthedead0 @221bshrlocked

Translations:

Querida- dear, lover

Vamos- Let’s go

Hermano- Brother

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bloggerthannothing · 3 years

Text

Kittens Game Apotheosis Farming: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The G_d-Emperor

And that the other ones who’d given it a shot

Had seen a modest sum grow geometrically

And then they had forgiven themselves

Because the net reward had justified

The colossal mess they made of their lives

-Hey Mister DJ I Thought You Said We Had A Deal, They Might Be Giants

Introduction

Kittens Game is a very good incremental game. If playing incremental games doesn't violate your personal code of conduct, I very strongly recommend playing it. I'm going to spoil basically all of the mechanics in this...tutorial? Speedrun guide? Love letter to a wonderfully designed set of systems? Memoir of madness induced in the pursuit of ever bigger numbers? Let's go with 'guide'.

A basic overview of Kittens Game: you manage a village of kittens. You assign them to jobs to produce resources, and use those resources to construct buildings, buy upgrades, and research technologies in the pursuit of getting more resources to build an ever larger village town empire galactic federation of kittens. Classic incremental game stuff.

Along the way, you'll create hyper-efficient workaholic sun cultists, develop AI that doesn't share your values, commit genocide across dimensional boundaries, engage in trade with the unfathomable elder gods, and of course, destroy the timeline to do it all again.

Let's focus on that last part. Resetting nets you two resources: karma and paragon. Karma increases happiness, making your kittens produce a bit more. Paragon increases production, up to a cap of +200%, and boosts storage with no limit. It can be spent on important upgrades called Metaphysics, and it can also be converted into Burned Paragon, which is half as effective as normal Paragon, but will stack with it. So you can reach +300% production with a high amount of both Paragon and Burned Paragon. Neat.

Here are some numbers for scale. One kitten gives one point of Paragon. The most expensive "normal" Metaphysics upgrade, Renaissance, costs 750 Paragon. The most expensive Metaphysics upgrade in the entire game, only put there to give end-game players a long term goal to work for, costs 60k Paragon.

Burned Paragon actually has one more effect I didn't mention. One tiny, insignificant effect that doesn't really matter much and shouldn't affect gameplay at all. It boosts the trait of your leader.

Context: You can assign a kitten to be the leader of your village. The leader gets a boost to their production, and their trait gives some small bonus to your society. For example, the merchant trait gives you 3% more resources from trading, and the metallurgist trait gives you 10% more product when you craft metallic goods.

Burned Paragon boosts the effects of these traits by an amount proportional to its square root. So quadrupling how much BP you have only doubles the increase in trait effect. An example: With 100k Paragon, and the Policy that doubles leader trait effect, you would have a merchant giving you +35% gains from trade. So even with all of that work, in the total end-game case, it's not a huge deal. Right?

Apotheosis

A relatively recent, experimental alpha build of the game introduced a new resource: apotheosis. Apotheosis boosts the paragon you get from kittens each reset. By a lot. There is...probably a good reason it's not in the main version of the game. It's overpowered. But the way in which it is overpowered makes things very, very interesting.

Every point of apotheosis gives a flat 1% increase to paragon gain. So, 100 Apotheosis = double paragon, 300 apotheosis = quadruple paragon, and so on.

How do we get this apotheosis? By completing Challenges: from a fresh reset, you must complete an objective (like reaching the planet Helios) while under some restriction (such as only half your kittens can work) and you'll gain apotheosis based on what the Challenge was. You can enable multiple Challenges at the same time, and get the reward for each as soon as you complete its respective goal.

You can also enable optional Conditions to make the Challenges harder, and boost the apotheosis reward you get (for example, one Condition disables your metaphysics upgrades).

For this guide, there are two important Challenges and one important Condition.

The first important Challenge is Winter Has Come. With this challenge activated, your kitten farmers' catnip production is unaffected by Paragon, and it's always winter, lowering catnip production from catnip fields by 75%.

This challenge normally wouldn't be a big deal, but happy kittens consume more catnip, and guess whose kittens are in a constant state of euphoria due to their immense amount of positive karma?

So kittens are consuming 20x more catnip, it's always winter, and farmers don't get the paragon bonus. It's not quite as bad as it sounds - farmers are still producing way more than normal due to their aforementioned constant state of euphoria - but it heavily influences early game decision making.

Challenges also give a normal resource instantly on their completion, in addition to apotheosis. Winter Has Come gives 1000 void on completion, which is a very sizable amount - typically, void has to be accrued in very small amounts (<10) from an event which has a chance to occur every 15 minutes.

The goal is to reach the planet Helios. Winter Has Come itself is a low-difficulty challenge with a fairly low apotheosis reward. Why do we care about it? The void will come in handy.

The second important challenge is Atheism. While this Challenge is active, faith cannot be gained or used at all, and this decides everything. Remember those workaholic sun cultists I mentioned earlier? In normal endgame gameplay, the production bonus from Solar Revolution is so high (~8000%) that once you unlock it, you can complete the rest of the tech tree pretty much instantly. Like, in less than five minutes. This is great for efficiency, but it can make things a bit dull in the long term - instead of managing anything interesting or working around bottlenecks, you're just clicking through menus as fast as you can to build housing for kittens and then reset.

Atheism makes for a longer and more interesting run, and also provides a sizable amount of apotheosis. The goal of Atheism is to build a cryochamber. This requires gathering many time crystals and reaching nearly the very end of the tech tree.

The important Condition is "No Apocrypha". This disables several religion-related upgrades. Because we already have Atheism enabled, this incurs very little additional difficulty, but provides a massive multiplier to apotheosis rewards - about 20x.

So that's the run we're looking at - starting from nothing, in a godless world of eternal winter, reach the faraway planet of Helios and construct a Cryochamber to preserve the life of our society's greatest kittens. In total, it produces around 450 Apotheosis, and may be repeated indefinitely.

It All Comes Together

So. This particular combination of Challenges and Conditions creates stupidly high amounts of apotheosis, that apotheosis produces stupid amounts of paragon, and those stupid amounts of paragon create a stupidly powerful leader.

And that stupidly powerful leader's stupidly powerful traits, when applied to this particular run, produce really interesting gameplay and optimization problems, even though all of your numbers are 10x or 100x higher than they were ever designed to be. I think this is partly due to the fact that Kittens Game's systems are designed extremely well, and partly due to some sheer cosmic luck.

This guide is going to show you what strategies I use to complete this run as quickly as possible, because speedrunning is fun. My current record is 2 hours, 48 minutes, and 5 seconds in real-time, or Year 12, Autumn, Day 42 by the in-game calendar.

“Rules”

These are standards I follow to make this run as fun and interesting as possible (for myself).

Offline progression "off", pausing allowed, real time does not count time while paused. This gives you time to think about what you're doing and makes it less of a button mash checklist-fest.

Keyboard shortcuts for simple actions are allowed, e.g. leader switching, worker assignment, pausing, upgrading leaders, and observing events. However, event observation has to require actively pressing a button each time - no holding down a key! I allowed for this because I made a hotkey script for this exact run, with all of those hotkeys.

Opening multiple instances of the game to manipulate trading RNG is allowed. No one likes an RNG dependent run, and I justify it in-universe as "timeline manipulation." This is probably the sketchiest rule.

Prerequisites and a Disclaimer on Numbers

-Have completed Anarchy and Black Sky at least once

-Have a lot of Burned Paragon (>100k) and some regular Paragon (>500) to max out production bonus

-Have all the Metaphysics upgrades

About the numbers in this guide - because this is a very specific set of unusual circumstances, and because costs grow exponentially and not linearly, it’s hard for me to gauge how optimal numbers of things would change if you have more or less Burned Paragon or Karma than I do.

For that reason (and because I want this guide to be a useful reference for me) all of the specific numbers I cite will be based upon my resource totals, which are as follows at time of writing:

Even if your numbers are lower or higher than mine, many of the same strategies will apply as long as you have the prerequisites done.

Outline

Here is the general outline of each distinct "phase" of the run. Each individual part will get its own post later, because there's a lot to talk about in each.

Phase 1: Start to Leader. In order to make use of our stupidly powerful leader, we need them to gain enough job experience. This phase is about avoiding starvation, getting our village off the ground, and creating the world's best education system.

Phase 2: Leader to Geodesy. To make full use of our Leader's trading prowess, we need the gold production from Geodesy. This phase revolves around observing the heavens in order to explore the seas, the beginning of the industrial revolution, and keeping up a 24/7 party.

Phase 3: Geodesy to Astrophysicists. Getting the rare metal we need will take a lot of knowledge about space. This phase revolves around luxury housing, negotiating with Zebras, and the internet.

Phase 4: Astrophysicists to Cryochamber. The final stretch. This phase revolves around privatizing the moon and haggling with elder gods.

#kittensgame #kittens game #number munching #whomst likes playing games

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

Text

My life, The Doctor; 10th Doctor x Nurse!reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys I know it’s been awhile but I finally decided to work on another story outside the Queen/BoRhap fandom. Now this request came from @originalposter96 idk if this is your user name anymore but I hope you’ll be able to see it.

NOW WARNING HERE I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE!!! So I know absolutely NOTHING about surgeries or anything like that, so this may seem as lazy writing (sorry) but I hope you all still enjoy this fic. So since this does involve the reader being a Nurse there is a hospital involved, surgeries, blood, removing bullets, gunshots, and a slight trigger warning for Domestic violence (not between the Doctor and reader just some side characters).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@dancingcoolcat

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@ixchel-9275

__________________________________________________________

There have been many wonderous places I’ve been to, many wonderful people and creatures I’ve met. They all come and go in my life, whether through my adventures or by time itself all beings enter my life one way or another. But throughout all my previous lives, every single being in the Universe that I had ever known, one person was above and beyond special.

Her name was (Y/n) (L/n). And she—is and will always be the love of my life.

For a human she was extremely clever, sharp as a whip, but she was also kind, loyal, and the one thing about her is that she never gives up on anyone. As a Head nurse—oh did I forget to mention that? Yes my (y/n) is one of the best Nurses in all of England.

Anyone in her time or even in the future when she finally becomes an M.D. will tell you that she is one of the best. In fact she finds out future cures for worldwide pandemics (of course sometimes her board would deny her research and billions of people perish. Rotten bastards). Anyways, my (y/n) truly is one of a kind amongst the humans and I am glad to have met her.

And won’t she be surprised when she sees me. It had been awhile since I had last seen her (maybe since the day she graduated medical school just a year ago her time) and now with the Cybermen and Daleks taken care of, now’s a good a time to go see her.

I set the coordinates for her time period and flipped the switch allowing the TARDIS to activate and soon going through time and space.

*My POV*

April 14th, 2015, 10:05pm. It had been a long day. 5 surgeries, 3 MRI scans, a cancer treatment report, and 2 women in labor later, I was just about to drop right there on the floor. I was thankful that in like 20min. my shift was gonna be over.

“You look like you’re about to drop dead right on the spot.” I snapped out of my sleepy stage to see my good friend Chrissie Lang. She and I had graduated from the same Med school together, and had most of the same classes together. She and I are each other’s support system cause in this line or work—it can take a toll on you.

I remember this one time this woman came in at 6 months pregnant bleeding profusely from her legs. We both knew that she was suffering a miscarriage so we told to do what her Doctor told us to do, but by the end of it Chrissie was completely destroyed. She always wanted to be a mum and seeing something like that happen made her fearful for even trying to go for a baby with her and her boyfriend.

So for the next ten minutes after helping the woman out, Chrissie and I just held onto each other and shed our tears before we had to brush it off and move onto the next case we had. For those that say being a Doctor or a Nurse is the easiest job to do, they’re liars. The job can hit you not just physically, but mentally as well.

“After 2 days of not sleeping, I just might. Put on my tombstone (Y/n) (l/n). Died with a heart of gold and a stomach of caffeine.”

“That’s true cause I swear girl, you’re probably the most caffeine addicted person I’ve ever met.”

“I can stop whenever I want, these are just choices.” We both chuckled softly.

“Excuse me ladies, but would you mind helping me with something?” a familiar voice said to me. We both turned to our right and standing there with a bouquet of my favorite color of carnations was the Doctor.

“Of course, what can we do for you sir?” asked Chrissie.

“Hey Chris, why don’t you let me handle this?” I suggested.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, besides you’re about to clock out sooner than me, you go on and head home. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay, see you later (n/n).” she bid the Doctor good evening and he did the same. Once Chrissie left the lobby, I turned towards the Doctor smiling widely as he did the same.

I immediately embraced him and he picked me up and twirled me around, the two of us laughing together.

“Oh I swear every time I come back, you get more beautiful.” He said as he set me down.

“I’m just happy you got to come back at all.” I said as I cupped his face in my hands. His eyes grew soft as he placed his hands over mine.

“I know what I do is dangerous, but you know why I do what I do.” I nodded in understandment.

“I mean hell it wouldn’t be any different if you were human and worked as a police officer or a fireman. Hell we humans live in a dangerous world, anything could kill us.”

“Which is what makes me the Doctor.”

“It does indeed.” I stroked his cheek with my thumb and that’s when he reached for the bouquet he had set down on the front desk and he presented it to me. “You always know just how to cheer me up.”

“Figured you might’ve had a long, rough day. Thought a little color could be used to brighten up your day.”

“It sure did, thank you my love.”

“Anything for you my life.”

That was a thing between us. When we first started dating each other, we had a little code/nickname for each other. I call the Doctor ‘my love’ because ever since he literally dropped from the sky onto my doorstep, he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.

He’s quirky, bit of a goofball, can sometimes blow his top but that’s only when something really dangerous happens and he’s under stress (yeah I’ve traveled with him a couple of times during my time at Med school), but he’s also loyal, brave, beyond clever, and he always puts everyone else, especially the human race above himself. For the last of his species, he’s an incredibly selfless person.

He calls me ‘his life’ because whenever things get too hard for him, since he and I have been through some rough stuff due to our day to day life, I always try my best to comfort him. I know that he’s lost people, just like I have on a job, and it’s not an easy thing to get pass.

So we both try to be each other’s support system. We know there is always loss in the world, but the thing is to not let that be the driving point that always controls your life. You can use it to make you stronger, not let it drag you down any further.

“So how has my brave Dr. (L/n) been since I last saw her?”

“You know I’m not a Doctor yet, I still gotta go through the nursing program and then rise up in the ranks before I finally get it.”

“Oh rubbish, you should’ve been a Doctor right as you graduated.”

“Yeah well not according to the chief here.” I muttered annoyedly.

“Honestly though, that old fool wouldn’t know a good doctor if it turned around and bit him in the arse.” I shushed him but couldn’t help myself from giggling softly.

“You can be so cruel sometimes you know that?” he playfully shrugged.

“Only when it comes to people who hurt you.” he wrapped his arms around me and pecked my cheek. “How much longer till your shift ends?” I turned to the clock and responded.

“10 minutes. But…..I could clock out a little early since there hasn’t been a call.”

“Playing hooky ehh? You cheeky little minx.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat. As we leaned closer to each other about to kiss, the doors suddenly burst open and a frantic voice called out.

“HELP! HELP! MY BROTHER NEEDS HELP! HELP!” a blonde woman around her mid 30’s came in holding her brother who looked to be around the same age as her. Quite possible they might’ve been twins cause I could see some similarities on the both of them. Her brother was completely covered in blood and his lips were blue from blood loss.

“Okay Miss calm down. I NEED A STRECHER STAT!!” soon enough the nurses who were still here for the nightshift ran off as I walked towards the two siblings. “What happened?”

“My ex-boyfriend jumped us. He thought—he thought my brother was a new boyfriend of mine and he—he—oh god this is my f-fault!”

“No, no, no Miss this is not your fault.” As I tried to calm her down, the stretcher bed soon came in and a group of nurses helped the man on his back and began cutting away his shirt.

“I’m seeing 3 bullet wounds to the chest and one on his abdomen. Let’s move him!” I get onto the top right of him as we wheel him into the OR to save his life while another nurse stayed behind with the sister to calm her down.

I washed my hands and arms frantically and thoroughly before getting my shrubs and mask on. Already the destine nurses, assistants and now our head Doctor, Dr. Murphy came in and he said.

“What have we got?”

“Four shots in the upper body, two in the lower. He might’ve lost a pint of blood at least.” Answered Nurse Yasmin.

“Maybe 2-3. His BP is dropping fast.” Added one of the male Nurses, Derek.

“Okay, any of those bullets rupture an organ?” asked Dr. Murphy.

“The one in his lower abdomen is just a centimeter before hitting his small intestine. If we don’t get that bullet out first he could bleed out internally.”

“Okay keep an eye on his BP. I need fluids, scalpels, suction tubs, retractors……”

“Lucy….”the man groaned out.

“(L/n), do your thing.” Said Dr. Murphy. I nodded and came up to the man and said.

“Sir? Sir can you hear me?”

“Yes. Where—where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital. Your sister brought you in. Don’t worry she’s okay and told us what happened.”

“Good….good……She’s safe. I—I’d never forgive myself if—” he started fading out.

“Hey, hey, hey sir, sir stay with me now. What’s your name? Can you tell me your name?”

“Barry.”

“Okay Barry, I’m (Y/n) (l/n). My team and I are gonna help you but you need to stay with me for just a bit. Don’t give up on me.”

“It hurts….it hurts so badly.”

“I know, I know.”

“Give him a shot of morphine to numb the pain.” Dr. Murphy ordered. Suzie got the morphine bag and needle ready and slowly stuck the needle into his left arm. Barry hissed and I said to him.

“This’ll help lessen the pain. You won’t feel the pain as we try to get the bullets out of you Barry. But you gotta stay with me, okay?”

“I’ll—try……” he mumbled tiredly. I placed my hand on his cheek and looked up at his vitals and saw his BP was continuing to drop and his heartbeat was going down.

As I looked around me, frantically Dr. Murphy and all the nurses were working together trying to get all the bullets out of him one by one, less we risk him bleeding out as two teams tried to work out a single bullet. With the main one near his intestines cleared, Dr. Murphy and Nurse Helen worked on getting the few out of his upper chest.

All the while Barry kept groaning every now and then and his eyes were fading fast.

“Barry. Barry hey look at me boy. If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for your sister. From what she said about who had done this to you, you need to stay alive for her. What you did was heroic, but don’t let her see that that selfish son of a bitch won. She needs you, your family needs you.”

“I got the blood transfusion he now needs. Thankfully, we had our last bag of B+ in the storage bin.” A young male nurse who had only worked here for a year, Cody exclaimed as he came through the doors.

“Alright, start the transfusion now! We just got the last bullet out and his BP is dropping faster and faster!”

“You hear me Barry? We’re getting you your life back. But it’s gonna be up to you now. Don’t let him be the victor, not tonight! You hear me?” he groaned and looked right up at me and he whispered groggily to me.

“Why do you care so much?” I took a deep breath in and said as I stroked the hair from his face.

“Because so many people everywhere are already dying every day. Some because time has run out on them, others for serving their country, but there are the odds of people dying for now reason whatsoever. Or for stupid reasons that shouldn’t be a reason why someone should have to die, especially if it’s protecting their family member from some arsehole who can’t tell the meaning of the word No. Now your sister is out there waiting for you, if she loses you, she’ll have lost her Ace. Her only friend that has stuck by her through whatever it was that her ex-boyfriend did to her.”

“He…..always was a……selfish prick!” he coughed out.

“I’ll bet he was. But she survived him, and now you’ve got to survive too. Don’t give him that satisfaction that he took a life tonight. Can you do that for me?” he nodded softly and whispered out again.

“You’d make a great motivational speaker.”

“I was on the debate team back in secondary school. If you wanna hear more, you’ll just have to stick around Earth for a little while longer.” After his final stitches were in place, the blood transfusion began and it was then Dr. Murphy had Cody, Darren, and Helen wheel him into ICU. From there, Barry would be monitored 24/7 till he woke up from his post-surgery coma.

Dr. Murphy took off his mask and gloves before turning to me and he said to me.

“Nice job keeping him talking.”

“Just doing my job sir.”

*Doctor’s POV*

Unaware to anyone else, I had snuck into the upper levels to witness the surgery in progress. I watched as (y/n) stayed right by the young man’s side and kept giving him encouragement to stay alive. But not for himself, for his sister.

This. Is why she would one day go down in the medical books as the world’s greatest Female doctor’s. She always put the lives of the people her patient’s love over their own, then psychologically, the patient’s bodies would continue to fight on until finally they would find the strength to recover.

Of course she will have her failures cause that’s life. You can’t save everyone but you can work harder at saving the ones you can save in the future. She doesn’t let one failure get her down, that’s sometimes the curse of being a Doctor. When you lose people, it can really affect you. Even when those closest to you are the ones you lose. Believe me I’ve been there millions of times throughout my 10 life cycles (she’s lucky she’ll only deal with one).

By morning, the lad Barry managed to make a full recovery. His sister, Lucy repeatedly thanked all the doctors and nurses who helped out with saving her brother before giving her statement to the police.

I waited outside by the TARDIS for my beloved Doctor to clock out, and when she finally came out the poor dear looked exhausted. I extended my arms out for her and she gave me a tired smile before collapsing into my arms.

“Just when I thought I could get at least one early night in.” her voice muffled against my trench coat but I still managed to hear her. I softly laughed and rocked her gently as I assured her.

“I know, but hey if you hadn’t been here, that young man would’ve died.”

“Oh you know it was Dr. Murphy as well as a few other nurses that actually did the real operation to save him.”

“True, but you were just as important if not more. You kept him awake and talking.” I shrugged tiredly agree-to-disagreeing. “Now then, I think after a night like that, and from lack of sleep these past couple of days you deserve to be pampered and see the wonders of the galaxy.”

“How did you—”

“Besides the bags under your eyes, I’ve seen the amount of Starbucks cups at your apartment.” She groaned embarrassingly. God this girl and her coffee addiction, truthfully I never understood why humans choose that as their beverage of choice. I myself prefer a good Earl grey or even sometimes Jasmine tea but ugh that horrible bland stuff they call coffee?! Never. Again. Will that drink touch my taste buds.

“Care to show me the wonders of time and space?”

“Need a pick me up boost?” she nodded. I kicked open the doors of the TARDIS and hopped inside before extending my hand out to her saying, “First question is though; do you trust me?”

“Always my love.” She replied with that loving soft smile of hers as she took my hand.

“Then brace yourself my life, because I’m going to show you the sound of the Universe.”

“You mean…..”

“Indeed I do my love, the Music of the Spheres.” Her smile grew wider and I pulled her into the TARDIS before shutting the doors behind her and together the two of us ran towards the consoles of the TARDIS and I punched in the coordinates and soon we took off for the Music of the Spheres.

And who knows where our next adventure would lead after that? So long as I got my love, my life, my Doctor with me by my side.

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hitsuackerman · 4 years

Text

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.10

a/n: do ya’ll love Gei? because this chapter is dedicated for Gei <3

warnings: this cannot be read solo, flamboyance

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 11

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased @infinite-universe-love @dirtypride @blackymomo03 @azzie @purple-rabanito

“I’m sorry but Endeavor’s schedule is still full. If you’d like to set a meeting with him, it would have to wait till next week.” Burnin answered over the phone.

It was now 2 days since the rather nice date with the chief. You could’ve done this yesterday but the chief had insisted you take the day off. Not sure what his intentions were, you took the opportunity nonetheless. Spending it with your family was the best choice. (Mostly for Nomura’s cooking though...)

Now, you were nested in your cubicle. Face buried in a day’s pile of delayed work. Disappointed that the arson case would have to be moved once more. Maybe the HPSC would take interest in this? Probably not. Still, you wrote down a note to call Mera just in case you were sick and tired of the dead ends.

“In that case, schedule me a 20 minute meeting with him. You can choose when and what time.” You replied and ended the call.

Looking at the time, it was almost lunch and you were set to meet with Gei. His workplace was only 10 minutes from your area and you could afford to take your time knowing this day wasn’t as heavy as the rest. Your phone dinged with a notification from the man himself.

Gei is the Best: Honey boo boo. Is it alright if you drop by the hospital first? I have this patient that just WON'T sit still for the love Beyonce >:(

You: Sure :) Need me to lower his BP? That might do the trick.

Gei is the Best: YAS! YOU DA BEST. Imma inform the receptionist. See you in a few! Lunch is on me <3

Taking your things, you informed Tsukauchi that you’d be out for the rest of the day. Upon hearing Gei’s name, he chuckled and asked for you to wait. Opening his desk drawer, he handed you a sealed envelope and told you to hand it to him.

“What’s this?”

“It’s some pictures of a recent guy I caught. He might find the man’s composition interesting. His quirk was body manipulation. It somehow failed and his quirk backfired on him. Try to imagine a human pretzel except… you can’t untangle him.” Tsukauchi explained. The slight look of amused disgust on his face.

“He does find these things interesting. So you’ll be asking him to fix the guy?”

“Yeah. Called him a while ago so he’ll be expecting that.”

After a few more small talk, you excused yourself and made your way to your car. Everything was going well till you saw the chief talking with another officer. Not wanting to have a chat with him, you turned and took the long way towards the parking area.

Now that you were on the road, you stopped at a red light and wore your ear piece. Using your car’s touch screen monitor, you clicked on Overhaul’s contact. It was lunch time, he surely didn’t have any schemes at this time.

“Problem child.” He answered after the second ring.

“Birdman.” You smiled at the pet names. “When are you free to test the earpiece?”

“Unfortunately my schedule is full today. Would tomorrow work?”

“Sure. What time are you available?”

“Lunch will do. Drop by the Shie Hassaikai. We can eat together.”

You did not intend to but your foot stepped on the brakes. Did you just hear him right? The car behind you honked his horn and that made you snap out of your daze. Remembering that he was still on the other line, you shook your head and tried to contain your curiosity.

“You’re not going to kidnap me, are you?”

“I’m more than capable of doing so.” The slight rise of his tone made your stomach feel ticklish. Your hands now held tightly on to the steering wheel, waiting for his next words. “But I’d rather not.”

“(favorite food). And you have a deal.” You turned towards the nearing hospital. Your mouth silently repeated ‘oh my god’ till you saw a parking spot.

“Till then, Problem child.”

When the call ended, you slammed on the brakes once more and shrieked. Feeling your blood pressure rising from the conversation, you placed your hand on your chest. A faint blue glow forming on your palms. Your rapid beating heart and incoming hyperventilation died down.

“Holy shit. It’s been a while since I used that on myself.”

Stepping out of the car, you walked towards the entrance of the hospital. The guard grinned as he saw you approaching. He knew who you were so you were able to skip the log book. Passing by the receptionist, she greeted you and said Gei was waiting in his office.

In the hallway, you could hear the sounds of shoes running around and a few announcements every now and then. Stopping at a window, you observed a few nurses helping some patients. Most of them had tubes connected to their bodies but none of them looked to be in pain. The machines inside were white and you could see how the liquids were gently shaking.

“OH MY LORD!” You turned around and looked at the direction of the scream. “WILL YOU SIT STILL?! I SWEAR TO THE ALMIGHTY FATHER JAY-Z, IF YOU DO NOT SIT STILL I WILL HAVE TO USE THIS ON YOU!”

Running towards his office, you immediately opened the door only to find Gei in his white coat. His hair a shriveled mess, a syringe with clear white liquid, and the patient hiding behind the sofa.

“Gei?”

“Close the door baby girl!” He yelled and lunged towards the patient. Somehow he was able to grab a hold of the hospital gown. Tugging the male into his hold, he turned to face you. “Your quirk please!”

Not wanting to anger Gei, you hurriedly made your way to the two people. Placing your hand on to the male’s chest, both of you saw how his shoulders relaxed. The crazed demeanor was now replaced with one of calm. You felt a tug on your palm and quickly adjusting your control, you increased his blood pressure till he was deemed stable.

You and Gei led the man to the sofa to where he sat down. Keeping your hand on his chest, you maintained control as Gei did his usual magic. Now that you were able to assess the patient, you saw the dislocation his arm had. His sleeves had hidden it from sight.

Watching as your friend used his quirk, the dislocation began to fix itself till it was finally back to normal.

“Now that that’s over with, put him to sleep boo.” Gei said while he walked towards his desk and paged a nurse to come get the patient.

Lowering the blood pressure even more, you felt the patient losing his consciousness. When his head fell, you had finished your job. Making him lean onto the sofa, you closed his eyelids and observed his breathing. It was steady and even. Not long after, a soft snore erupted from the sleeping man.

“What exactly just happened?”

“The way his arm was dislocated made it rather painful. Told him if he would relax, I could ease the pain by a tiny bit. Lord of quirks, the man panicked and began his episode.” Gei explained as he fixed his coat and poured alcohol into his palms. When the nurse arrived, he assisted in carrying the patient into the bed.

“Busy day?” You relaxed on to the chair and held a throw pillow.

“Oh honey no. Nothing I can’t handle. Your presence only made things quicker.” He exaggerated a wink. “Remind me why you didn’t pursue the medical world?”

“I retain information badly. And to top it off, my quirk just makes me into a human sphygmomanometer. It’s helpful but it works better with the police force in times of raids.”

“Well, if yo happy with yo job then do what you do boo.” Taking his coat off, he hung it on his chair and began to keep the files and paper works. Remembering the file in your bag, you reached for it and tossed it onto his table. When Gei saw the penmanship, he nodded and placed it in his drawer. “Send him my thanks and a hug as well~”

Now that Gei was ready, the both of you were now walking in the lobby. A bunch of other nurses greeted him with his hard earned title. Doctor.

“Dr. Hanayaka. Don’t forget your appointment with patient 247 later today.”

“Yes yes. I have it on my sched. Now puh-leaz! I am on break and I need to refresh my beauty with this lady over here.” He winked at the nurse who simply shook her head with amusement. “Go do your thing now, love.”

“It’s amazing how they put up with you.” You commented as both of you exited the building.

“Of course~ I have the charm, the look, and the wits.” He snapped his finger with each description he had for himself. “All I need now is a man.”

Unlocking your car, the both of you got in and drove to the restaurant he had in mind. It wasn’t too far from both your offices so you didn’t mind. It didn’t take too long before you found yourself seated in a comfortable booth by the window with menus in hand. Choosing one of their best sellers, the waitress was quick to get your orders.

“So… how was the date two nights ago?” Gei was in full gossip mode now.

“It ended pretty well.” A smirk formed on your face.Recalling how the chief experienced a bad stomach ache was satisfying. “The food was fine and luckily he didn’t cause a scene since his food made his stomach go bad.”

“Who was he anyway?” He titled his head. He knew you were too busy to even casually date or even try one of those speed dating things. If there was one man he knew you were interested in but it was too obvious you were still blind that the feelings were growing. “You never told me his name, never mentioned how you met, or even his age. Did you meet in Sinder?”

“Don’t freak out or whatever.” Upon seeing him nodding his head, you let out a long and tired sigh. “It’s my chief.”

Gei held on to his chest and began to hyperventilate. His face morphed into one with disgust and disbelief. Even made fake puking sounds to add to his reaction.

“Oh. Heyll. No.” His voice went a range higher. “Sis. Why the hell you go out with that man? You ain’t got no daddy issues! And don’t go tellin’ me no man would take interest in you cause thaz bullshit.”

“It was either that or I get 10 more cases. I already have too much on my hands. Two of which are major.” You explained and sunk deeper onto the chair. “It’s fine, though. The dinner ended on a nice note. His stomach ache was just so bad that he practically pushed me out of his car.”

Gei’s mind went ticking. The chief asks you out on a date, the date ends on a disaster for him but a success for you. Staring at your happy face, he lifted his fleek eyebrow and placed one knee on top of the other. Leaning onto the arm rest and pouting.

“Tell me, baby girl, whatdyu the day before the date?”

“Me and the chief met up with Overhaul for a quick meeting. Then he got mad cause the chief cut me off and then he dropped me home to let me take a shower cause he said I smelled like him.”

“And what does your brain have to say about that?” Gei asked. A sly smile on his face.

“Not much.” You shrugged your shoulders. “He was right, though. I smelled like beetroots.”

“Oh good lord.” Gei uttered to himself. “Beyonce, if you’re out there, bless this oblivious woman…”

“BUT, the waiter at the restaurant was pretty attractive.” Seeing how Gei shimmied his shoulders and leaned in closer was always fun. “I didn’t get his name, though. However, he had pretty cool hair. Like, arrows for the ends.”

“In that case, imma make a reservation.” He smacked his lips just in time for the food to be served.

The rest of the meal was light and fun. Occasional teasing from him which you didn’t take to heart. You had asked him how his job was and his patients, he in turn asked for updates about cases you could speak freely about in public. Now that the food was gone, he reached for his neon pink wallet to hand over the payment.

“By the way, I’m free tomorrow.” He added with a slight jump. “Wanna stop by this new cafe that opened down the block?”

“I can't. I'm meeting Overhaul tomorrow.”

“You say that so casually as if he isn’t a class-B villain.” He pointed out. “Look me straight in the eye and tell me your heart doesn’t skip a beat when you see him.”

And you did. Straight up told him that it did not. However, you still told him that he would sometimes catch you off guard and end up stuttering or catching your breath. All you’re flamboyant friend could do was to send a prayer to his queen that you would one day realize that you were slowly falling for the villain.

Lucky for him, his prayers would be answered soon enough.

Sadly, it came with a cost.

----

another date but this time with Overhoe himself? wew~ the possilities..

do you guys have any questions? feel free to comment and ill gladly answer them :) take care and i hope you guys like this chapter <3

#overhaul x reader #bnha overhaul #mha overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai x reader #chisaki kai #bnha chisaki kai #mha chisaki kai

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sydneywritespursuedbyabear · 4 years

Text

The Casualties of Croissants

Trigger Warnings -- also tagged: gore, gunshots, surgeries, hospitals, death in the family, ptsd symptoms

This is a standalone piece.

Word Count: 5176

“Shhhhhhhhh. It’s okay. I’m right here.” I wrap my arms around Dessi, avoiding the bloodstains on her grey and white raglan t-shirt. “I’ve called 911, EMS is on their way. You are going to be okay.”

Despite my efforts, Dessi seems to disagree. She moaned in pain and tugged at her shirt. I rotate her arm to examine the blood-spattered hole in her left sleeve beneath her elbow. I lift her arm up to check the bottom. There is no exit wound. As I return Dessi’s arm to a resting position, more blood oozes onto her grey sleeves and onto my hand. I help her lean against the brick wall of the bakery we were in not even five minutes ago.

“I’ll be right back. Stay down,” I whisper, knowing full well that she couldn’t even move if she wanted to.

I survey the surrounding area. No one else is hurt, and the bakery is still open. I burst through the bakery’s glass door, frantic. “Do you have scissors?” I ask.

The front attending obviously notices the blood on my hands because he hesitates. I don’t have this kind of time.

“Please,” I plead, “my friend was shot, and I need to cut her clothing away from the wound and create pressure on the wound.”

The attending turns around. I hear the rustling of assorted metal and plastic objects as he sorts through a tools drawer. He hands me a pair of kids’ scissors. “Have you called 911?”

“Yes. They’re about 5 to 10 minutes out. Thank you so much!” I dart back out the glass door I had burst through only 30 seconds ago and run back to Dessi.

I take a quick look at the wound to double-check that her sleeve has not become entangled in any of her insides. The grey fabric of her sleeve is not caught on anything, just stained a dark crimson. “Okay, Dessi,” I say, trying to keep my voice as level as possible, “I’m going to cut your sleeve off. Let me know if anything hurts.”

“My arm,” she immediately moans back.

“I know,” I say, taking the scissors to the seam of her sleeve. I cut all the way around the seam before slicing the sleeve straight down the back. I carefully lift the blood-stained fabric away from the rich brown skin of her arm. “Dessi, I’m going to apply some pressure to your arm. This might hurt.”

“Hope, I -- ow!”

“All done,” I reassure her as I create a second, securing knot over the grey and crimson band on her arm. “Hey, Dessi, can you count out a minute for me?”

“I can try,” she manages.

I press my fingers into the warm skin of her forearm, searching for her radial pulse. I find it on the lower outside of her wrist. “Alright, Dessi, you can start counting,” I prompt. Each rapid beat of Dessi’s heart sends a powerful wave through her body. I am no doctor, but I can tell that her pulse is definitely elevated.

“Time,” Dessi mutters weakly. She bows her head in pain and exhaustion. 102 beats per minute. That heart rate is not going to help her at all.

I shift to be crouching right in front of her. “Dessi, look at me. We are going to take some deep breaths, okay?” I hear the faint screaming of sirens in the distance. “They’re almost here. For now, in through your nose--” I make an audible nasal inhalation. “Out through your mouth.” I let out a loud exhale.

Dessi does not move. I bring my hand up to her chin and tilt her so her brown eyes meet mine. “Hear that?” I ask her, referencing the growing din of ambulance sirens.

The sirens come to a climax as the ambulance pulls up to the curb in front of us.

Two EMTs jump out of the back of the ambulance. The one with short blonde-dyed-blue hair introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Frank, and this is my partner in anti-crime, Jocelyn.” He motions toward the ambulance, where Jocelyn’s bobbing ponytail emerges with a stretcher.

“Alright, young lady,” Frank says to Dessi, “We are going to need to get you on that stretcher. We have two options: we can lift you up there, or we can lower the stretcher all the way down and you can climb onto it. Do you think you can stand?” Dessi shakes her head. Frank turns to me. “Jocelyn is going to help me get your friend here onto the stretcher so we can get her to the hospital. It’s your job to make her feel safe so this transition can be as quick and easy as possible. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

Jocelyn parks the stretcher right next to Dessi. She lowers it until the bed is at about knee level. Jocelyn and Frank crouch down beside Dessi and place their arms under her to support her knees and back.

“Ready?” Jocelyn asks.

I nod. I lock eyes with Dessi. “It’s going to be okay,” I mouth.

“One, two, three,” Frank commands. He and Jocelyn stand up on three. Their feet trace rapidly across the pavement as they carry Dessi to the stretcher.

“All done,” Jocelyn says after she and Frank have slid their arms out from under Dessi. Jocelyn leans over Dessi’s left arm and examines my makeshift bandage. “How long ago was the incident?” she asks.

“7 minutes-ish,” I respond. “I wasn’t able to find any exit wounds when I patched up Dessi’s arm.”

Jocelyn nods as if making a mental note of this new info. “Dessi?” she probes tentatively.

Dessi slowly lifts her head until her eyes meet Jocelyn’s.

“How are you feeling?” Jocelyn asks.

“Well, my arm hurts,” Dessi says flatly.

“Anything else bothering you?” Jocelyn presses. “Dizzy? Fatigued? Chest pain? Numbness anywhere?”

“Yes, yes, yes, no,” Dessi replies.

“Alright, let’s get her in,” Jocelyn commands as she uses her foot to unbrake the stretcher. She and Frank walk Dessi to the open back of the ambulance.

“Can I come?” I call out.

Frank shoots Jocelyn a permissive look. “You’re both minors, right?” I nod my head. “Then come on in,” Frank shouts at me.

I dash over to the ambulance and step up on the metal ledge to climb in. Frank closes the door behind me. He runs around the outside of the ambulance and hops into the driver’s seat.

I shift my gaze to Dessi. Jocelyn has already begun to measure Dessi’s vital signs. She swipes a thermometer across Dessi’s sweaty forehead. She slides a blue blood pressure cuff onto Dessi’s right arm. Jocelyn slips a pulse oximeter onto Dessi’s right index finger.

A monitor hanging above Dessi comes to life. Large numbers display her blood pressure. A wave rises and falls across the screen as Dessi’s heart beats. Jocelyn enters some information into an iPad that is sitting on the bench beside her. She looks up and goes, “Alright, girls, I need full names and dates of birth. Dessi, do you want to go first?”

“Desdemona Freedman,” Dessi says weakly. “Born September 17, 2003.”

“Good job,” Jocelyn praises as she lightly grasps Dessi’s hand. “And you?”

“Cassiopea Murphy,” I say. “And I was born--” I pause, unsure of what to say. “Um, I don’t have a birth certificate.”

“What does that mean?” Jocelyn questioned.

“I was a safe haven baby. I was left in a box in June of 2003 and was estimated to be 1 week old. No local hospitals had any birth certificates that could match my situation. My adoptive parents have been searching for it for years. All we know is that I’m 17 now.”

Frank pipes up from the driver’s seat. “Alright, ladies, we are about two minutes out. How are you holding up, Dessi?”

“Absolutely fantastic,” says a faint sarcastic voice. At least Dessi still has her sense of ironic humor.

Upon our arrival at the hospital, everything moves fast again. Frank jumps out of the front and races around back to open the doors. Meanwhile, Jocelyn unclips Dessi’s stretcher from the floor of the ambulance. Jocelyn wheels Dessi out the back, where Frank receives the stretcher and guides it to the ground. I leap out the back and tail the frantic parade.

Jocelyn and Frank shove through the swinging door entrance to the ER. They immediately start riling off info about Dessi.

“16-year-old female with a GSW in her lower left arm,” Frank announces to the room.

“BP holding steady at 89 over 54, pulse is at 120 and slowly rising,” Jocelyn adds.

An ER doctor rushes over to meet Dessi as she is moved towards the back of the room, where there is an empty bed. A blue hijab covers her hair and blends in with her faded scrubs. “How much blood has she lost?” the doctor inquires.

“Less than a pint probably,” Jocelyn replies, “there wasn’t any blood on the ground when we picked her up, so it’s all in her clothes.” “Great. Let’s get some saline running and put her on a morphine drip.” The doctor orders. “Any exit wound?”

“Not that we could see,” Frank supplies.

The doctor sighs. “Get her up to imaging!”

A team of nurses wheels Dessi away. Frank turns around and notices me standing in the corner of the room. “Let me take you to the waiting area,” he says, extending his hand to me. “We should call your parents.”

I don’t budge.

“You can’t be back here,” he scolds.

I reluctantly take his hand. “I’m not calling my parents.”

“Why?” “I’m not going to interrupt Dessi’s custody ruling. Today is the court’s only opening before Dessi turns 18.”

“Why is Dessi not at her own custody ruling?”

“She can’t stand courtrooms.”

“Okay, well isn’t this a pretty important reason to interrupt her own custody ruling?”

“I guess, but I can’t tell them about this.”

“Why?”

“I just— I just can’t,” I stammer. I take a deep breath. “When can I see Dessi?”

Frank sighs. His eyes briefly dance around the nearly empty ER waiting room before returning his gaze to me. “Dessi is up in imaging right now. I can take you back to get cleaned up and I can have a nurse call your parents. Sound good?”

I nod. He leads me back through the swinging doors that lead to the ER. I can see where Dessi was placed when we first arrived. Frank leads me back there and ushers me to sit down in the chair placed next to the spot where a hospital bed would be.

Frank walks to the nurses’ station in the center of the room and returns followed by a tall man in turquoise scrubs. “This is Jackson,” Frank says.

“Hey there,” Jackson says, brushing the brown hair of his bangs out of his eyes. “I’m Nurse Jackson, but you can call me anything you want as long as you tell me. Frank tells me that you’ve had a bit of a rough morning.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, looking down at my blood-stained plaid skirt. “Oh, I’m Cassiopea, but you can call me Hope.”

“So, Hope.” Jackson clears his throat. “Have you contacted your parents?”

I stare down at the white speckled tile beneath my shoes. “No,” I admit quietly, “I was hoping you could do that.”

“I can give your parents a call, okay? I think you should change,” Jackson tells me.

“Into what?”

“I just texted a buddy of mine. She’s bringing down some scrubs for you to change into. Dessi will be down soon. Sit tight. I’ll be back to check on you in a little, okay?”

I nod. Jackson walks back to the nurses’ station in the center of the room. He picks up a phone and dials a number.

Franks steps in front of me. “Alright, Hope, Jocelyn and I have some paperwork to fill out. The doctors and nurses here are awesome. If you need anything, just ask.” He, too, turns around and walks away from me. He exits into the ER waiting room.

As soon as Frank is out of my sight, another person in scrubs comes my way. She is carrying a pile of maroon clothes, presumably for me. “Cassiopea?” she says, presenting me with the pile of clothes and a plastic bag.

“Thank you.” I take the scrubs out of her hands.

“You can close this curtain for privacy,” she tells me, pulling on the green fabric that hangs down from a metal bar that wraps around the ceiling above me. “Just open back up when you’ve changed so the nurses can get your friend back to you. Got it?”

I nod. She walks away. I pull the curtain around the monitors that surround a bed-shaped hole. I peel off my blood-stained middle school uniform that I don’t even know why I’m wearing today and place its pieces into the plastic bag. I pull on the scrubs and pull back the curtain. The poly-cotton fabric brushes against my skin, not too soft but not too itchy either.

After a few minutes, Dessi’s bed reappears down the hallway. She is wheeled next to me by a team of nurses. These nurses close the same curtain that I used to change. “Hey,” I say. “How are you doing?”

“I’m not too good,” Dessi says flatly. “We’re waiting on a, ummmmmm, radiologist.”

“Okay. They’ve called Mom and Dad, who I assume talked to Jess. I don’t know if they’re coming.”

“I don’t want them to come.”

“Why not?”

Dessi looks away from me. Her eyes dance across the ceiling, avoiding me at all costs. “I just don’t,” she insists. I get the feeling that this is where she’d roll over, but she’d be rolling onto her injured arm, so I reckon she won’t.

Her arm is no longer covered by a grey band with crimson stains and jagged edges. It has been wrapped in a pristine white bandage that stands out against her skin. Her other arm has an IV line connected to it with a piece of tape. This protection is clear, but her attachment to the bags is another reminder of her current state.

The doctor from when we first arrive pulls back the curtain and walks in. “Hi, I’m Dr. Niani,” she says. “I have the results from your x-rays.”

“And?” I press.

“Desdemona, you got very lucky,” Dr. Niani says.

“No, I didn’t,” Dessi retorts.

“Given your situation, you did,” Dr. Niani argues back. She takes a deep breath and starts again “Your forearm is broken in two places. The bullet is lodged between your radius and ulna below your elbow.”

Dessi is absolutely silent, so I press on. “What now?” I ask.

“We remove the bullet and realign her arm. She wears a cast for 8 weeks, and we go from there,” Dr. Niani states matter-of-factly.

“How do we do that?” Dessi inquires, her voice shaky.

“We numb your arm using a local anesthetic, make an incision, extract the bullet, reset your bones, and stitch you up.”

“And I’m awake?” Dessi asks nervously.

“It’s too risky to have you under general anesthesia.” Dr. Niani looks down at the iPad in front of her. “Moving on. Jackson got a hold of Mr. and Mrs. Murphy. They will be here as soon as they can. In the meantime, they have given us verbal consent to treat your injuries. I’d like to get that bullet out of you as soon as possible.”

I shift my glance to Dessi, who is not fully on board with this decision. Sweat glistens on her forehead and her brown eyes gloss over with unshed tears. “Dessi, it’s gonna be okay,” I tell her.

“I can’t do this,” she says as a single tear leaks out of her red eyes.

“Why not?” Dr. Niani asks softly.

“I’m scared. My mind is all over the place and I just can’t deal with this right now,” Dessi sobs.

Dr. Niani sighs. “Okay. I’ll give you some time to rest.” She walks away from us and closes the green curtain as she leaves. Her voice rings out in the distance, “Jackson, page psych.”

“Hope, why did you let them call your--our--parents?”

“They deserve to know, Dessi.” I grab Dessi’s left hand and give it a tight squeeze. Dessi picks her head and gives me a faint smile, her brown-pink lips slightly moving towards her ears. “I’ll be right here the whole time.”

Our moment is interrupted by yet another person opening our curtains. This time, it is a fair-skinned woman with long brown curly hair. “I’m Shayna Gold, and I’m a--”

“Psychiatrist,” Dessi finishes.

“Yes,” Shayna says. She pulls a stool out from under the table on the other side of Dessi’s bed and sits down. She scans her tablet before closing its cover and placing it under her clipboard. “I want to talk to both of you about what happened earlier.”

“What do you mean? How much earlier?” I ask.

“Anything that happened today,” Shayna replies.

I glance up at Dessi, but she has strategically averted her eyes to the ceiling. “Okay,” I sigh, “I’ll tell the story. This morning is Dessi’s custody ruling. Dessi isn’t too fond of courthouses, so I stayed home with her. After my parents left, I decided to take her out for croissants to take her mind off of it. As we left, a black SUV pulled into the alley next to the bakery. Someone wearing all black jumped out of the SUV and walked down the alley, where another hooded figure was standing. We only heard one round be fired, but it did not hit any intended target, as far as we could tell. Dessi caught that bullet in her lower arm.” I pause and take a deep breath. Until now, no one else knew about what had happened. My chest felt lighter, as if the story had been weighing me down, but my head also began to spin at the reality of what Dessi and I had experienced. “I called 911 and we were brought here,” I continue. “The bullet is stuck in Dessi’s arm bones and she needs to have a procedure to get it out, but she’s not being put to sleep and she’s scared.”

“You two have been through a lot today,” Shayna says, looking up from her clipboard, which is covered in scribbled-on notebook paper. “Let’s take a moment to appreciate how much you have already survived today.” A calm briefly fills the air, as our little nook becomes as quiet as an ER can be.

“Let’s unpack this a little, Dessi,” Shayna says. “How do you feel about the procedure? I know that you are scared, but do you know what you are scared about? Are you worried that it will hurt.”

“I mean I am worried that it will hurt, but that’s not really what’s bothering me. I’ve been shot, so pain isn’t the worst thing imaginable right now,” Dessi responds. She’s coming back. Even if there is still a bullet in her arm, her mood has begun to heal.

“Okay,” Shayna says, processing this information, “is there anything else that fuels this hesitation?”

“It just doesn’t feel right,” Dessi says, “especially with my new parents coming over. I guess I’m more worried about something happening to me or what their reactions will be.”

Shayna nods as she internalizes this information, but I have now picked up on something that Dessi has left out that is quite important. “Dess, you should probably mention what happened to your birth parents.”

“I don’t want to,” she moans in response.

“If you tell her, I am going to tell her,” I fire back.

“Hey,” Shayna interrupts in a calming voice, “if she doesn’t want to talk about it, we shouldn’t make her.”

“But I know why she’s scared,” I argue. “Her father died while undergoing treatment for cancer, but it wasn’t the chemo that killed him. Her mother had a sudden heart attack from stress. Dessi’s mother died during her father’s malpractice hearing. It’s why she can’t stand courtrooms.”

Dessi closes her eyes and leans back against her bed. She lets out a huge exasperated and nervous sigh.

“Wow, that’s really something big,” Shayna says. “Dessi, how do you feel about her saying that?”

“She’s right,” Dessi admits. She swallows hard; a bulge travels down her neck. “How do I fix this?”

“There is no way to fix this. I know that it sounds unencouraging, but you cannot change the past. That is a fact. BUT, we can do something about you right now.” Shayna stands up and places her tablet and clipboard on her stool. She walks over to be beside Dessi, facing me. “Let’s make a plan to make this experience easier for both of you.”

“Okay,” Dessi says, shifting her gaze to Shayna.

“Dessi, what makes you feel safe? What do you like to do when you’re upset?”

“I like to listen to music and talk to Hope.” Dessi glances over at me and we exchange smiles.

“I can play Spotify off my phone,” I offer.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Shayna says. “Are you feeling any more confident, Dessi?”

“I guess so,” Dessi replies. “I’m scared. I’m in pain, but Hope is here.” I squeeze her hand in agreement. “I’m ready to get this bullet out of me.”

“I’m going to let Jackson and Dr. Niani know that you are ready.” Shayna picks up her tablet and clipboard. She rolls the stool back around Dessi’s bed to where it was safely stowed before. Shayna pulls back the green curtain as she leaves and closes to restore our privacy.

I pull my phone out of the plastic bag with my clothes. I locate a paper towel dispenser above Dessi’s bed and wipe the moisture off of it. “What are you thinking?” I ask, popping Spotify open.

“I’m not sure?”

“How does Mozart sound?” I jest.

“Not really in a classical music mood,” Dessi remarks.

“You never are.”

“Don’t judge my music taste!”

“Fine! How about Panic! At the Disco?”

“Sounds great.”

I press play on my phone. The screen switches to an album cover. The notes ring out through our area, but I adjust the volume so as to not bother anyone else.

Jackson pulls back the curtain and steps toward Dessi’s bed. “I like the music. Whoever chose has good taste,” he says, and I smile up at Dessi. Jackson pulls out a small table from underneath the table upon which the monitors sit. He aligns it with Dessi’s left shoulder. He grabs a disinfecting wipe from a canister on the wall to wipe the surface down before placing a blue papery material down on the table. Jackson lightly grasps Dessi’s arm and lifts it to lie facing the ceiling on the table. “Ready?” he asks.

Dessi sighs. “I guess so.” He lifts up the white wrap that has been covering Dessi’s arm. The more material he peels off, the darker red of a stain is left on the white bandage. Jackson grabs a syringe off of the table with the monitor. “This is lidocaine,” he tells Dessi, “this might burn a bit, but it will help with the pain after.”

I reaffirm my grip on Dessi’s right hand. “Squeeze hard over here,” I say. “If you break my hand, we’re not in a bad spot.”

Dessi is definitely listening to me because her hand clamps down on mine, crushing my bones, but not breaking them, as she lets out a lingering, “Owwwwww.”

“All done,” Jackson says.

As if perfectly timed, Dr. Niani walks in as soon as Jackson pulls the lidocaine needle out of Dessi’s arm. She is carrying a metal tray with paper and plastic packages on it. When she sets down the tray, I get a look at what’s inside: surgical equipment. There’s a scalpel and some other things that I don’t recognize. Dr. Niani passes surgical masks out to me, Dessi, and Jackson before putting one on herself. She pulls on a pair of blue rubber gloves and teases open the paper packages.

Jackson places his left hands on Dessi’s upper arm. “Dessi, I’m going to need to hold as still as possible. This should be quick and easy. Do you want us to go over what we are going to do?”

“Yeah,” Dessi musters. I can’t see her face through the mask, but her eyes tell the whole story. Her heavy, glossy, shaky eyes trace over to the surgical instruments on the opposite side of Jackson.

Jackson hands Dr. Niani the scalpel. “This is a scalpel,” Dr. Niani says, “I am going to use it to make a small incision above your wound so I can smoothly extract the bullet.” She hands the scalpel back to Jackson, who trades her a metal bar that is curved at the edges. “This is a retractor. I will use it to keep your muscles out of the way.” Dr. Niani makes another trade with Jackson. This time, she receives a tool that looks like larger tweezers. “These are forceps. Once I get in there, I will use these to take that bullet out of you.” She hands the forceps back to Jackson.

“Dr. Niani,” Jackson says, “I’ve paged ortho. They’re sending Dr. Rochester down shortly.”

“Perfect,” Dr. Niani replies. “Right, that. We have an orthopedic surgeon coming down to realign your bones before we stitch you up. And that’s it!”

I squeeze Dessi’s hand. “You ready?” I ask.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Dessi replies. Jackson drapes another blue paper over Dessi’s arm. This one has a hole in it, which goes right over the hoel in Dessi’s arm.

“Scalpel?” Dr. Niani grabs the knife from Jackson’s right hand. She presses it against Dessi’s skin until some blood seeps out. To my surprise, I feel no response from Dessi, whose eyes are trained on the even larger hole in her arm.

“Jackson, retractor,” Dr. Niani commands. She pulls back Dessi’s dark skin and blood-covered internal tissue, exposing Dessi’s bones. This is not something I expected to see today. Locked in between the splintered edges of Dessi’s forearm bones is a bullet no larger than the size of my pinky. Jackson hands the forceps to Dr. Niani. She carefully probes into Dessi’s arm and grasps the offending bullet. She drops it in a plastic cup on the tray next to Jackson. “Do you want to keep it?” she offers.

“Um--” Dessi considers, but she is interrupted by a man I assume is Dr. Rochester. He pulls back the green curtain and peeks inside Dessi’s arm.

“That is quite the fracture,” he says. “Don’t worry, I can fix that pretty easily. Jackson, please apply more anchor pressure above her elbow.”

“Yes, sir,” Jackson replies as he sinks his hand deeper into Dessi’s upper arm.

Dr. Rochester looks up at Desdemona, hoping to make eye contact, but she is staring at me with tears in her eyes. “Okay, sweetheart,” he says, “this will hurt, but it will be over quickly. Okay?” He grasps Dessi’s wrist. “One, two, three.” On three, he pulls Dessi’s arm towards his abdomen. Dessi squeezes my hand harder than anyone has even squeezed it before.

Dessi lets out an ear-piercing scream, but it abruptly ends the moment she gazes down at her arm and realizes that her bones are now where they are supposed to be.

Dr. Rochester takes a look at the same sight that Dessi is marveling at. “Looks like my work here is done,” he says and pulls back the curtain to leave.

“You should keep it,” I say excitedly.

“Hope, why should I keep it?” Dessi asks.

“It’s cool. We can put it in our room!”

Dessi rolls her eyes. Usually this gesture is accompanied by a strong smirk, but her mouth is covered by blue paper, so I just assume it’s there. “Fine.”

Dr. Niani begins to sew up Dessi when I hear a familiar distress voice. “I’m looking for Cassiopea Murphy and Desdemona Freedman.” It’s my mother.

“They are currently in the middle of something, so I am going to need you to take a seat and wait until they are ready,” a nurse argues back.

“But they’re my daughters!” My mom exclaims. My mom waits for no one, so she charges back into the ER. I assume that no one stopped her because thirty seconds later, she throws the green curtain open with tears in her eyes. These teary eyes lock with mine. “Cassiopea Francessca Murphy,” she scolds.

“What?” I fire back. “It’s not my fault.”

My dad comes up behind my mom. He gently strokes her back. “We know, honey,” my dad says in a tone that is much calmer than my mother’s. “All of this is shocking, but we are so happy that the two of you are okay.”

Dr. Niani ties off the sutures she has placed in Dessi’s arm. “All done,'' she says, taking one of her gloves off and placing her bare hand on Dessi’s knee. She motions to Jackson to clean up the area before turning to my parents. “I’m Dr. Niani,” she says, extending her ungloved hand. “Desdemona did really well. We are going to cover her sutures and put a cast on that arm. In two weeks, we’ll need you to come back to get the sutures out and recast that arm. We expect that she’ll be in the cast for about 8 weeks.”

My mom grasps Dr. Niani’s hand and produces a firm handshake, like the ones that she gives at business meetings or meetings with our lawyers. “Thank you,” my mom manges in a shaky voice.

Jess enters the ER and stops at the nurse’s station. She scans the room and locks eyes with me. Jess power walks over to Dessi’s bed holding a clipboard with a small white pile and a pen dangling from it. She smiles and sets it down on Dessi’s bed. “Desdemona Freedman, I have some paperwork for you to sign.”

Dessi drops my hand to pull her mask off. Her jaw drops as she breaks out into a huge smile. “Really?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Jess sighs. She pushes the clipboard closer to Dessi’s lap and hands Dessi the pen. Dessi frantically scribbles “Desdemona Freedman” on the bottom of the second page in the stack.

“Congratulations,” Jess says. She picks up the clipboard and leaves the ER.

With Jess gone, Frank and Jocelyn emerge from the waiting room. They pause at the nurses station and exchange black clipboards before making a beeline to our little crowding corner of the ER. “Congratulations!” they shout as Frank thrusts the new clipboard toward my mother.

My mom happily grabs the clipboard and sits down at the foot of Dessi’s bed. She doesn’t waste a minute before picking up the pen and filling out the larger pile of papers. She plants a kiss on Dessi’s forehead. “I have never been more excited to fill out paperwork in a hospital.”

#hurt/comfort #whump #teenage whumpee #teenage caretaker #accidental whump #guns tw #blood tw #hospital tw #surgery tw #death mention tw #ptsd tw #it does have a happy ending though #i am partial to the caretaker

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dearestmichaella · 4 years

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Why I Want to Become a Good Doctor

Today, we just had our ward discussion with our consultant regarding the patient we saw last last week (Feb 13) in Pasay City General Hospital with our main clinical impression of stroke. He is a 74/M, obtunded, not oriented to time, place and person, non-coherent, non-fluent with dysphasia and dysphonia. GCS 9. If you are from the medicine world, you will probably have a picture of him on your mind most especially about the severity of his presentation. In simpler words, he is most of the time sleeping but whenever he is awake, it’s as if he is confused and not really receptive about the things happening around him. He only conveys his message through moaning most especially if he is feeling any pain in his body. The consultant in our ward discussion is somehow strict but in a constructive way. I find it helpful because he wants us to learn through his clinical experiences. What he usually do is he have our index cards, each with our name on it, calls a random person to present each part of the case. He would ask anything under the sun and we will be graded on that. I usually try to peek on what he is writing in our index cards but he has these random codes. He has his phone on his side with a random series of numbers, he looks at it every time we answer and then he writes it in our index cards. There’s random letters, series of numbers that somehow made me felt like it’s as if a morse code (or maybe it really is?! ty parasite for letting me appreciate morse codes ahhaha). He also focuses on what we really think as doctors as to diagnosis, differentials and therapeutics.

I really enjoy studying for any case discussions but only when I transferred to a new school. In my previous school where I went in, there’s no much time learning everything. Now that my new school has a different approach on activities like this, it gives me more time reading my medical books. It thrills me finding and getting answers on questions I have on my mind. So I must say prior to our ward discussion a while ago, I really really studied hard. My friend who is also part of the group asked me why I gave so much effort studying for this even on the smallest details. I also asked myself the same question especially during times of frustration and tiredness. I can just actually sleep the rest of the night or perhaps study for other subjects I need to. Last night got me thinking and I just assumed that maybe, I am just like this. I just really wanna know more and I hate myself for that.

Why do I really study hard?

My father whom I loved so much despite and in spite, had a stroke when I was just a first yr med student, supposedly 2nd yr but I got irregular. I only had the basics back then - anatomy, physiology, physical diagnosis & etc. When my father presented with right sided numbness of his upper ext progressing to lower ext, I thought of stroke but not with much conviction. Papa claims that maybe he excessively strained his muscles when he was doing some chores. Papa is generally healthy, not even hypertensive with no known heart problems. Although he is a smoker. We immediately consulted to a physician, an Internist-Cardiologist, whom I can say is good since he has a specialty. He is also affiliated with good hospitals around the metro. Our consult took only for more or less 5 minutes, asked what’s Papa’s chief complaint, took his BP, typed something on his computer, gave us a request for some labs and CT scan. We had it done but results from the hospital takes days and the doctor was clear that he cannot say anything at the moment without the labs and ancillaries. We had a follow up 3 days after, the CT scan was cleared. At that time, I was already nervous I even asked the doctor if we should be referred to a neurologist or if we should just go to ER dept of the hospital cause it might be stroke to which he just replied with, “I need to first the duplex scan but if you wish to consult a neuro, you may do so.” Having said that, my dad who found me so annoying that I am insisting to consult a neuro, trusted the doctor that it could be something else. Because again, who am I compared to a specialist. I understand Papa, he was also scared because who wouldn’t it be. But that night, I talked to him with my book on the side, did some neurologic test, in which there are some that he cannot do. I convinced him finally to see a neurologist despite his normal CT scan. The next morning we went to a neurologist and the doctor said it could be a stroke based on his presentation and he needs to be confined immediately. I was devastated.

Papa is okay now though, to the lay what he had is just a mild stroke (medically, there’s no, mild stroke). What he had is an ischemic stroke to brain small vessels hence the, “milder presentation”.

I found myself devastated again today most especially when our consultant a while ago was discussing about stroke. I was amazed because I didn’t expect he would share so much about “stroke” since he is an expert in Gastro. When we were sharing our differentials, he emphasized why in our case, the first think you’ll think of is stroke. Hemiparesis. One sided weakness. Even without laboratory tests/ancillaries, it’s like a bell ringing in your mind. Stroke, an acute onset of focal neurologic deficit commonly due to vascular pathology - the theoretical definition. He even gave us scenarios aside from the case we presented such as, “What if, despite thinking of stroke, patient did a CT scan and found to be normal. No history of other diseases. There’s only one sided weakness. Would you still think of it as a stroke?” It is a challenging question on what should be the next best step for the patient. My classmates were answering - MRI could be requested but Doc asked, “What if the patient doesn't want to do an MRI anymore due to financial problem or what if the patient got mad cause you as doctor said that the CT scan is enough to confirm it’s stroke.” I was just listening, deeply. It is a question not seen on books but often seen in a clinical setting. Moreover, I remembered Papa. Doc said then that it should be a pertinent negative, meaning from there you would think that probably the stroke is ischemic rather hemorrhagic which usually presents in a CT scan, at least days after. The next best step is to administer immediately treatment because again, with stroke, timing is everything.

I did not expect that after this case discussion, I will have the answer to my friend’s question, “Why do I really study hard?”. The answer was simple, deep down in my heart, I want to become a good doctor. I want to save people, more so my family in times of like this. I don’t wanna become the cardiologist who saw my father twice and didn’t give much importance to what my Papa’s feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame him but I am certain I felt like he wasn’t at his best when he saw Papa for whatever reason I don’t know of. Imagine how many patients are being seen by doctors who doesn’t pay much attention. Our mentors would always say to us, ‘Treat all your patients as if they are your relatives.’ They say, being a doctor, is really a calling. It is true that it requires us so much time, patience, hard work, mental and emotional torture but when life and death comes into your table, as humans, what the very least thing you can do? For now, as a medical student, the very least thing that I can do is to study hard with more than I can to become the good doctor I want to be.

Maybe, it’s too idealistic of me saying I want to become a good doctor because soon in the clinical practice, there would be so much challenges. Soon, all patients would become merely cases & numbers. You can’t let all this consume you or else, you wont be at your best for your next patients. It is a situation we can’t help from happening. But why does it seem wrong or hard to become human in a situation we need to be one?

As doctors who have been through a lot. We are made out of the extremes of the extremes situation that humbled us to become more human. And for us to treat another human, we have first to become one.

May I be, when the time comes of burn out and verge of giving up, reminded of this - on why I want to become a good doctor. And hopefully, soon, even I know it’s a long way to go, become one. With God’s grace.

*this blog is made out of tears and extreme passion*

#med school #dreams

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becuzpurple · 5 years

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Chapter 25, pt. 2 - Bailey’s & Ice Cream

(chapter 25, part 1 - Fragile)

My heart was pounding wildly, and I felt short of breath and nauseous. I definitely couldn’t drive yet. I took some deep, measured breaths until my breathing and heart rate regulated somewhat, but I was still sick to my stomach, and I couldn’t stop crying.

I wanted to go home, but the house was empty, and I knew being alone in my state was probably a bad idea. I needed a friend. Jen was working a late shift, but I knew Izzy was home, so I called her once I trusted my voice to work more or less properly.

“Hello?”

“Iz…?” My voice cracked on just that one tiny syllable.

“Kate? What’s wrong?”

“I…I just fucked up really bad with Ed.”

“Oh, shit, what happened?”

“It’s, um, a long story. Do you think....can you come over?”

“Of course! You’re at home?”

“Not yet, I’m in my car...at his hotel. But I’m going home now.”

“Well, wait, are you alright to drive? You sound really upset-“

“-No...yeah, I’m OK. It’s just a 5 minute ride.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave as soon as I’m off the phone. I’ll be fine.”

“OK, if you’re sure...I can be there in 15 minutes.”

“Thank-you, Iz.”

“Of course, sweetie, I’ll see you in a few. Be careful.”

“I will.”

—

I'd just finished changing into my comfy, oversized sweatshirt and flannel pants when Izzy arrived. As soon as I opened the door the tears came again, and she swallowed me up in a gigantic hug.

“Oh, honey.”

“Iz, it’s so bad. I fucked everything up.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. C’mon, and tell me everything.” She tilted her head towards the kitchen, and headed there as if she owned the place. I followed behind.

“Sit,” she directed me, indicating the breakfast bar stools.

I did as she shed her jacket and purse before tearing through my fridge and cabinets, pulling out various provisions. She soon set down bowls of ice cream and some tall glass tumblers of Bailey’s Irish Cream for each of us before finally sitting herself down across from me.

“OK, now I think we’re set, no?”

“You’re amazing, Iz.”

“Nah, I’m just a little bossy. And hungry. You always have the best snacks, anyway,” she shrugged. “And it’s good comfort food. But, anyway...what happened, honey?”

Before I could begin telling her anything, my text notifications started going off. I knew it was him, but instead of checking it I just stared at my phone on the counter in front of me, much like a deer in headlights.

“You gonna look at that?”

“I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “Not yet.”

“OK.”

So, amidst gorging myself on ice cream and Bailey’s, I told Izzy how I let my stupid head and its stupid fears and anxieties run amok, and how I said things to Ed that I didn’t even mean.

“I know you love him.”

“So. Much.”

“You want to stay together, right?”

I nodded. No question. “If he’ll still have me after...this.”

“Honey, you guys had a fight. It happens. You’ll work it out.”

“Yeah, it’s just there are so many things to work out. It’s...overwhelming, sometimes.”

“Like what?”

“Well, like, we live in different countries. My family, my life...are here. He has very solid roots there. And there’s his career...I don’t know how to do any of this.”

Izzy nodded. “I get what you’re saying, but...these seem like things the two of you can work out together, no? You could maybe split your time? Part-time here and part-time there? It would definitely take some compromise, but I don’t think it’s insurmountable?”

I shrugged. She made it sound quite reasonable. “Yeah, I guess maybe.”

“You both have a lot to talk about.” She paused and gave me a thoughtful glance. “I do have a question, though. You said he was talking about family? ‘Wanting to be a part of your family’, you said?”

"Yep,” I took a healthy slug of my Bailey’s, mentally bracing myself. Which is ridiculous, since it was Izzy I was talking with, and not even Ed.

“Like, what did he mean by that? Does he...is he talking about getting married?”

Good question.

“I don’t know...he didn’t use those words. But he said when he imagines the future, it…he sees us all together as a family - he and I, and Nate and Lucy…and…”

“And...?”

“Yeah. And...our kids.”

Izzy’s big brown, almond-shaped eyes grew wider at that. “Your... you mean, like, yours and his?”

“Yeah, pretty sure.”

“Holy shit?”

“I know!”

“That’s...is that something you guys have already talked about, then? Having kids?”

“No,” I shook my head. “We haven’t really talked about the future at all. God, this is nuts, isn’t it?” I pressed my fingertips to my temples, but then decided some more alcohol might do me better, and took a generous gulp of my drink.

“OK, so, what do you think about this? I mean...you haven’t really known each other that long.”

“I know, but…it feels like we’ve known each other forever...it was like we already knew each other when we met. This is hard to explain, but the idea of us being a family? Isn’t exactly what’s freaking me out - at least not that much. And I know that sounds crazy, but, I don’t know…” I shrugged. “It’s the ‘having more kids’ part…that…that’s where my anxiety kicks in, I think.”

“You don’t want any more?”

“No, actually I do - I’d...I would love that.”

She looked a little shocked. I couldn’t blame her - I knew how it sounded.

“Wow. That’s…that’s amazing! Really?”

I felt my face flushing. “Yeah,” I shrugged, and fleetingly wondered if some more cold ice cream might stop my cheeks from pinkening any further.

"OK, so then if you think you’re both on the same page about that, then what’s worrying you?”

“Right.” I exhaled, lowering my gaze to my half-filled glass of Irish cream, and then I poured it over the rest of my mint chocolate chip ice cream. Because this particular topic was an old wound, and it still made me feel pretty bad. At least I loved Bailey’s on my ice cream. But it didn’t really help.

“What is is, Kate?”

“I, um...I’ve never really talked about this with anyone besides Jay.” I shrugged and sighed a humorless laugh - I was so anxious about this. “So, I don’t think…well, I don’t know...if I can have any more kids. We tried to have more for years…and, well, I had a few miscarriages, but…” I slowly shook my head, finally raising my eyes up to meet hers.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I had no idea?”

“Yeah, we didn’t really talk about it with anyone.”

“So...you’re worried about how Ed will take that?”

“Yeah. He really wants kids...if anyone was born to be a dad, it’s him, right? I...I’d just really hate to put him in a situation where he couldn’t do that. And what if he becomes resentful over it, or leaves me? I couldn’t...I wouldn’t handle that well. And I’m not getting any younger, either…so, I might be out of time to get this figured out.”

“Whoa, OK. First of all...what are you talking about ‘out of time’? Hello, you’re in your 30’s, and you’re healthy. And second...are you seriously pushing him away because he maybe might want to marry you, but you’re worried he’ll change his mind because you might not be able to have any more kids...but you don’t know that for sure? And he doesn’t even know any of this, does he?”

“Well…no? But I…um, I did tell him he’d probably be better off with someone else who’s younger.”

“You did not?! Katie, what?? Why?”

“I don’t know?! It seemed to make sense at the time?”

“That…that’s kind of really unfair to him. He has no idea where that was coming from, does he? You have to talk to him, tell him everything, and then the two of you need to figure this out together - you can’t decide for him. And for what it’s worth, I can’t imagine him hinging your entire relationship on a...a non-existent child, anyway.”

My text notifications started pinging again just then, and I finally caved and picked up my phone. And then I felt even worse.

I looked up at Izzy to find her watching me curiously.

“He’s worried about me…and I’ve been ignoring him. God, why am I so horrible??”

“No, you’re not horrible, you just need some time to work out a few things.”

“I should answer him…”

She shrugged and nodded, agreeing.

A few minutes later I took a breath and looked up at Izzy, wide-eyed and feeling a nervous wreck all over again.

“He’s coming over.”

“That’s good.”

“I’m...ughh, I’m a disaster, Iz. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m acting like a crazy person, pushing him away when I really want to do the exact opposite. I’m...overwhelmed.”

“That’s completely fair, honey. Just remember that he loves you and wants you to be happy. But you have to be totally honest with him about everything, ok?”

“OK.” I rubbed my temples, still so uncertain. “He’s flying back home tomorrow.”

“Ohhhh, shit. Well, then it’s good you guys are going to talk now.” She stood. “I will get out of your hair before he gets here.”

I walked with her to the door and thanked her for coming over.

“That’s what friends do, Katie. It’s going to be ok.”

We hugged, and I promised to call her the next day to let her know how I’m doing...how we’re doing. I really hoped I’d have some good news to give her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry there’s no Ed in this one - I promise he’s all over part 3, though (which is about 2/3 done)!

I’d love to know your thoughts on this, and to know that it’s at least being read, so hit those like and reblog buttons, and send me those Asks! Feedback is love!

-BP💜

#becausepurple #becuzpurple #ed sheeran #ed sheeran fic #ed sheeran fan fic #ed sheeran mature fanfic #ed sheeran fanfiction #celebrity fanfic #Ed & Kate #Ed & Kate love story #multi-chaptered fic #ch 25 pt 2 #Bailey's & Ice Cream #it's the bomb you must try it!#Bailey's poured over Breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream #it's heavenly #now you know what Kate's been worried about #anxiety sucks #Feedback is love!

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porchwood · 5 years

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Hey friends,

I’ve been struggling to come up with a sufficient thank-you for all your help with the GoFundMe, but it seems every time I sit down to try to write a response, some new awful thing arises. And this past week was the worst yet (maybe the worst ever).

When last I spoke to you, I was getting over a bad cold and preparing to ease back into work after my injury. The PT office finally called me back and I went in for one session to make sure I was at a recovery point where it was okay for me to do massage again; the therapist did a quick assessment - no exercises demonstrated or recommended - kinesiotaped the knee and charged $100 that I had to pay then and there. (So a waste, and an expensive one, but I guess it could have been worse?) The next day I started back at work VERY part-time (one 60-90 min client a day) and it absolutely killed me. I was no longer wearing the brace and my knee actually did okay with the work (bending/crouching notwithstanding), but the rest of my body (esp core muscles) were just drop-kicked by the work. I went home exhausted and shaky every day and finally tried substantially increasing my protein intake, which felt a little ridiculous (we’re talking a 24g shake + an 11g bar for breakfast or two entrees at lunchtime), but it’s done a world of good, and that’s all thanks to you guys. (Protein of any kind isn’t cheap and your incredible donations made it possible for me to buy good food to rebuild my muscles.)

The end of my first week back at work, I fell hard on the ice outside my house. Miraculously, my left knee never even hit the ground, but I fell flat on my back and my left wrist - without any lasting injury, thankfully, but I was absolutely worthless for the next 24 hours and had several days (crucial returning-to-massage days) of varying degrees of pain in that wrist. In the meantime, I made a couple of other adjustments (raising my massage table to take the strain off my lower body, getting back on an ibuprofen schedule instead of just taking it after the fact, when I was hurting badly), all of which helped, but I’m still only about 85% back. My knee still hurts every morning when I wake up and gets stiff and sore whenever I have it bent for any length of time. My workplace has been surprisingly good about letting me work a slower schedule as I build back up (ex. 3 clients a day instead of 5), and last Friday I finally got a paycheck for the first time in over a month (!).

Then, two weeks ago, I was wakened at 3am to Lucky (my little rat terrier) falling off the bed. This has happened before and is usually comical after the fact, but when I picked her up, she emptied her bladder all over me, and when I tried to set her down to check on her, her back legs had gone limp and wouldn’t support her. Terrified (I’ve heard enough end-of-life dog stories to know this isn’t good), I was about to take her to the emergency vet when she sat up like nothing had happened and began licking herself. I took her outside and she walked around a bit, completely sound on her feet, and pottied again - business as usual. Worried and mystified, I messaged my (LPN) mother who thought the urination sounded like a shock reaction to the fall, so I gave Lucky a bath and spent most of the day just cuddling with her.

For about two seconds, life seemed like it might finally be getting a little better. I was able to pick up two massages at a local inn (which pay substantially better than massages at the spa and provide some very helpful extra money). And then on Thursday, I came home to a slightly anxious Lucky (howling quietly on my bed), and when she got up to greet me, her back legs wouldn’t support her. I scooped her up immediately and her entire body went limp (seemingly lifeless), her head and neck lolling over my arm. As I ran through the house with her, her bladder emptied down the front of me and - still lifelessly limp - she gave the most horrifying howl I’ve ever heard. I was convinced she was dying in my arms.

As we tore down the road to the vet’s (thankfully, about a 5-minute drive from home), she sat up on my lap and by the time we’d reached the office, she was acting downright normal again. I was able to get us in with one of the vets about 10 mins later (a tech checked her out right away to triage her and make sure she was stable), and he wanted to get some data on her heart. She’s had a heart murmur for almost her entire life and, while I’ve asked repeatedly what we could do for that, the only advice I was ever given was hawthorn and ginkgo supplements (which she takes on a more or less daily basis), and at one point we tried a canine cardiac formula for a few months with no notable changes.

She had an EKG, chest x-rays, and a blood draw ($516, including the office call) and then that info was sent to a veterinary cardiologist in Portland. All they could tell me in the meantime was that her heart is enlarged and to just have her take it easy for the rest of the day; they would call me first thing the next morning with the cardiologist’s report. Lucky was sleepy but normal for the rest of the day and I passed an awful night of bad dreams (including one about rabid dogs) and waking every hour or so to make sure she was okay.

I was scheduled for my typical split on Friday but had only one client at the end of the day and was an emotional wreck, so I asked if I could just go home to be with Lucks and I found another therapist to cover my client. I still hadn’t heard from the vet by 10am, so I called to check in. He gave me a brief summary over the phone and asked if we could come in for some more tests, which was another hour and a half and $236. (I was able to put these two visits on my CareCredit card but for some reason the vet only gives a 6 month promotional period instead of the 12-18 months that other places do. If you’re not familiar, CareCredit is a great option IF you can pay off everything quickly. If you can’t, you’re clobbered with obscene interest on the entire sum at the end of the promotional period, even if you’ve paid off almost all of the principal.)

I’m still making sense of the cardiologist’s report because it’s quite in-depth and my knowledge of the heart isn’t quite that high, but here’s what I’ve been able to glean:

- “severely enlarged” heart - borderline tachycardia and occasional arrhythmia (her collapse was considered a syncopal episode, if that helps anyone) - some degree of mitral valve issue - at risk of developing congestive heart failure

She was put on two heart meds, pimobendan/Vetmedin (which is supposed to be very effective and is also very expensive) and enalapril (an ACE-inhibitor), and she has a kidney check-up in about a week to make sure she’s doing well on them and adjust the doses if necessary. The vet seemed to think the prognosis was pretty good (considering that at this point we’re talking about staving off heart failure :/) - he said small dogs with mitral valve issues tend to do well on these meds - and other than this insanity with her heart, Lucky seems to be in pretty good shape. Before Thursday she was extremely active and happy; there’s no sign of neurological issues, and her BP, thyroid, kidneys, etc are all looking good. So I’m trying to stay hopeful.

She’s been a little extra sleepy (understandably) the past few days, but this afternoon she seemed unusually “off,” so I’m trying to figure out whether it’s her tiny body adjusting to the meds (which she needs to stay on for the rest of her life) or if her heart is suddenly starting to get tired and this is the new normal. :( I called my mother earlier (a mistake) and got a lot of pessimism-in-the-guise-of-sympathy that left me feeling like Lucky is on hospice and I should start making end-of-life arrangements now.

I’ve been crying for the better part of the last four days, and I don’t think I can articulate how painful this is for me. I didn’t think it was possible to donate a human heart to a canine but I looked it up just in case, because I would give her mine without hesitation. Lucky is my whole life - my soul running around in a little black-and-white body, and five years ago when my life systematically fell apart, she was the only thing misfortune didn’t touch - and I knew this, and I was waiting. Since then she developed sleeping bladder leaks (which, while frightening, were easily and effectively treated with estrogen), then severe separation anxiety (which I’ve been struggling to treat since 2016, and yes, I blame myself for the anxiety making her heart worse, even though I’ve done absolutely everything to help her overcome it). Lucky is absolutely the reason I didn’t try to end my life at various junctures over the past five years, and I don’t want to think about what will happen to me if she’s not here anymore.

And as ridiculous as this will sound: I was supposed to be married by now. When I got Lucks as a puppy, I knew the inevitable would one day come (unless Jesus comes back before then so Lucky and I can just go to heaven together, which I haven’t given up on), but I knew my life would be much different by then. I would have a home and a husband to help shoulder the financial and emotional burden. I was not supposed to be alone, sterile, and struggling just to make ends meet. I love my roommate dearly, but it’s not the same as having a spouse, nor should it be. She can give me hugs and listen to me cry, but at the end of the day it’s me in that dr’s office, holding my hurting baby and promising to pay for whatever they have to do, and me that has to hold everything together and keep going when the worst happens.

Incidentally, last Sunday was my birthday. I’ve mentioned before that my birthday has some kind of perverse curse, and if this year didn’t prove it, I don’t know what will.

My father (living in Nebraska, and with whom I’ve had a strained relationship since my hysterectomy) has congestive heart failure, and my mother called me shortly before all of the Lucky stuff to tell me that he’s failing and to try to talk me into moving back to Nebraska to help keep an eye on him. Which is a subject for another time entirely, but over the past few days I’ve been wondering if I should think about going back (temporarily), if only to be around family myself. It would be a complicated situation (I’d still be on the Maine lease and paying for half of everything, Lord knows if I’d be able to keep my Maine job when I came back and I’d end up back at Massage Envy in Nebraska, not to mention I’d be scrambling to pay down my medical bills and Lucky’s), but maybe it’s something I should consider.

Anyway: that’s where I’ve been. :( And I’m sure I look like an ingrate for not saying thank you about the funds sooner, but between the fatigue and the heartbreak, it’s been hard to manage much of anything lately.

#personal #lucky bloom #did i mention we got kicked out of our house four months ago?#and that i'm still recovering from an acute knee injury?#i almost can't even process this #and i know i'm quietly ignoring the parts i can't handle

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thadelightfulone · 6 years

Text

The ‘E’ Commandments: Velvet Rope (Date Night)

Use Me (Intro)

Daddy’s Rules

Sunset

Lose It

Calling On You

Summary: Erik wants to teach his girl some thangs…

Pairing: Erik x Black!OC

Genre: SMUT…build up, cool down…there is always some SMUT.

Warning: BDSM heavy…so if that is not your thing, there are plenty of other BP fics for you to read. Since the chapter names include the kink, please feel free to bypass any one that is not your speed. Unless you’re curious and want to learn a few things for yourself…in that case, ENJOY!!!

A/N: This is actually a two-part scene. I am releasing both parts back-to-back. ENJOY!!!

The doorbell dings as Erik enters the store. He breathes in deeply and lets it out slowly. He had not been here in almost a year. He remembers the exact moment he knew he was going back into hiding.

He met Imani at a bookstore. He was looking through some African literature, and he caught the subtle floral scent of her perfume pass by him. He put back the book he was looking at, turned out of the aisle and followed her towards the graduate study guides section. Standing at the end of the shelf, he took in her short 5’5 frame, shoulder-length brunette curls, and her abundance of curves from top to bottom wrapped like a gift in her maxi dress. He knew he had to have her.

She turned to give him a nasty look after noticing the 6’, chocolate brotha following her, his laughter rang out until he saw her hand reach into her purse, “I have pepper spray, and if you’re smart, you’ll walk away now.” He strides forward, stopping right in front of her. She quickly inhales taking in his deep brown eyes and handsome face up close.

“Do you really think that’s gonna stop me?” She watches as he looks her up and down with a smoldering look in his eyes. “I was just gonna ask you what you are studying for because I could probably help you out,” he steps back, “but I see you got it.” He gives her a two-fingered salute and turns to walk away. She releases her hold on the pepper spray and looks at the study guide in her hand. She has already failed this damn test twice and needs to get a decent score for acceptance into her grad program.

“Hey wait!” Erik stops but does not turn around. “Do you really think you could help me?” She says voice lower than it was when she threatened him. A huge grin spreads across his face, as he turns around and slowly walks back towards her. He calmly takes the book in her hand.

“Logic Games for Dummies…so you’re taking the LSAT, huh?” She looks at him and nods. “Yeah, I got you on this.” He takes her hand, “I’m Erik.” She is stunned, staring up at him. He smirks at her.

“Imani.” She feels her face heat up as he brings her hand to his lips.

“Let me take you out for lunch and then we can get to work.”

Another ding of the front door brings Erik out of his musings. He smiles thinking about the fact that he gets to teach Imani another subject that he is well versed in. He walks over to the customer service desk and rings the bell.

“Just a minute,” came a voice from the back. “Well, well, well…if it isn’t my favorite customer?” She comes around the desk and gives him a big hug. “How have you been E? The scene hasn’t been the same without you.”

“Hey V!” He hugs her back, lifting her in the air while she laughs. “I have never been better,” she slaps his arms to put her down. She glares up at him, looking at the stupid grin on his face.

“Nigga, are you glowing? And I thought you left for a vanilla relationship anyways, so why you back here?” Erik has zoned out looking around the store; he missed this place. Now he was home. Vicky snaps her fingers and waves her hands in his face to get his attention back.

“Yeah, I did leave for a vanilla relationship,” he smiles at Vicky, “but my lady wants to learn about the scene.” V walks around the counter.

“How did you convince her of that? I know yo charming ass did something.” She props her arms up on the counter, waiting for his explanation.

“2 words – 50 Shades,” Vicky and Erik bust up laughing. The nearest customer jumps at the sound. “I swear yo, she had me watching that bullshitty ass movie and said she read the books. So, I told her I am the real deal.” Vicky just looks at him. He puts his fingers up in the Boys Scout salute. She swats his hand down.

“E, stop that.” She looks at him to gauge his truthfulness. “Wow, you are dead ass right now. Ok, so then why isn’t she here with you and what brings you back in?” He starts beaming again. Vicky shakes her head.

“I need to place a custom order for some rope. I also need a decorative piece for a marker.” Vicky grabs her pad and starts writing down his request.

“In your colors? 60ft, 6mm jute, good?” she looks up to see him nodding. “Kool, we’ll cut it into two 30ft pieces.” Looking back at him, “Now, what did you have in mind for the marker? You could always get a -”

Erik cuts her off, “No, no collar, not yet. I’m not even sure if she would want that. We are just performing scenes now,” he shrugs, “but who knows.” Vicky nods and smiles. She has got to meet the girl who has E lit up like a Christmas tree.

“What about a Gold Rose w/ a big E on the stem? If you plan to take her to the Garden, it would fit in, and it’s not like we don’t know your damn color.” Erik looks at her.

“Yeah, I like that. Could you do that on a pin that way I can attach it to whatever she is wearing?”

“Yeah, we can do the metalwork in-house, and I’ll finish it for you.” She looks at him, tapping his shoulder with her pen. “So, you plan on bringing her through then…when?”

“Yup, I invited her, and she agreed to come. And no, I’m not telling you when because you will have the whole club checking for me.” V flutters her lashes and pouts. “Nah, not going to work. So, stop it.”

“Fine, then.” She looks at her notepad. “Alright, so I got 60ft 6mm jute in black and gold. A gold rose with E as the stem pin. Is that all?” Vicky bites on the pen.

“Yeah, for now. Charge it to my account.” He starts to walk away, “Actually, do you have Lisha’s number, I need to link up with her about some gear.” She already started writing on the next sheet of the pad.

“An outfit, E? You dressing her, too?” Vicky laughs, “That gold E might as well be a collar if you are doing all this shit for her.” She hands him the page with the name and number on it. “I’ll call you when the order is ready.”

“Later V!” Erik yells as he leaves the store. Jumping on his phone and dialing the number, “Yo Lisha, it’s E. I need some custom scene gear.”

---

Imani is at her place, trying not to open the boxes that were just delivered to her door. There is a big gold note that reads ‘DO NOT OPEN until I get there, E.’ Pouting with her arms folded across her chest for the last 5 minutes, she suddenly decides to sit on her hands, but she is steadily bouncing. She dares not call him because that will be useless. Erik won’t give her any details about their upcoming date night. All his calls this week have been cryptic as fuck, so talking to him just irritates her at this point.

Her feet are now tapping on the floor; she keeps looking back to the boxes on her kitchen table. Suddenly, there is a knock on her door. Jumping up, she runs to check the peephole. She throws open the door and walks back over to the couch. “Is that any way to greet your man, baby?” She rolls her eyes at him.

“Can you close the door already?” she huffs at him. He slams the door and walks over to the couch. Sitting down, he reaches over and pulls her onto his lap.

“Why you sour?” He follows her eyes to the boxes on the table. “Is that all? I just wanted to be here to see you open them.” Sneaking kisses on her neck, she melts into his arms. “Ready to see what I got you?” She nods looking up at him, “Imani.”

“Yes, Daddy. I am ready to open them.” Lifting her off his lap, he smacks her ass as he moves her towards the table.

“Good girl.” Imani finds herself smiling as she walks to the table. Something about when Erik praises her for little things like answering him verbally makes her want to be the best for him. She ponders the reason as she picks up the boxes and some scissors, bringing everything to the couch and the coffee table.

There are three black boxes wrapped together with thick gold ribbon, all different sizes stacked with the smallest on the top and biggest one on the bottom for a three-tiered tower. She unties the bow and cuts one of the ribbons on each box for easy opening. Grabbing the biggest box first, she looks over at Erik. He is leaning back on the couch with his hands behind his head, relaxed and in the perfect spot to see her reactions.

She shakes the box and hears a rustling sound but cannot make out what is inside. The box is extremely light, so she is totally in the dark about what it could be. Imani lifts the top, dropping it off to her side. Lifting over a piece of gold fabric, she unearths two clothing items. From his position on the couch, “Take them out and show me what you have there.”

“Daddy,” she lifts the first piece up and unfolds it in the air. “These look like volleyball shorts, but those are usually black and,” flipping them over, “none of this ruffle mess.” She laughs while looking at the glittery gold ruffled bottoms in her hands and sets them down. Imani reaches back into the box to pull out a black steel bone corset with a lace up back and detachable straps. As she feels the lining of the corset, she exclaims, “Wow, this is beautiful! I have always wanted one.”

She stands up and puts the corset to her chest and looks back to see Erik grinning, “Looks like it’s a perfect fit. Next.” He glances at the two unopened boxes as Imani settles back onto the couch. She sets the corset back into the box and removes the small top box to get to the middle one. Imani shakes it again like before and smiles brightly.

“You bought me some shoes, too?” His look neither confirms nor denies what she is asking. Lifting the top off the box, she finds 4 inch black Mary Jane stilettos with a thick gold snakeskin strap. She lets a loud wolf whistle, “These are too sharp, Daddy. And I see a pattern forming here.”

“Is that all?” She glances at the items from the two boxes and scrunches her face in confusion. Erik grabs the smallest box off the table.

“E, what are you doing?” she reaches over him to grab for the box. Erik stands up and holds it over his head watching her jump up and down reaching for the box. “Lemme see it,” pouting and batting her eyes, “Please Daddy.”

“Yo, I love how comfortable you are calling me that now.” He moves back to the couch and brings Imani down onto his lap. “Before I show you, I need you to look over the whole outfit because this is all you are wearing when we go out tomorrow night.” Erik follows her eyes as she reaches over to pull the bottoms and corset back out, laying them next to the shoes on the table. She picks up the bottoms again, looking them over and eyeballing Erik.

“Wait, nigga are these ruffled panties?” getting louder, “I know you do not expect me to go outside in some damn panties.” He rubs her back as she starts to panic.

“You won’t be outside for long, but don’t worry. I have a coat you can wear until we reach our destination.” Imani is still staring down at the outfit on the table. “Baby girl?”

“Wherever you are taking me, are you gonna be dressed up, too?” She plays with the edge of the gold ruffled panties on her lap. Erik lifts her chin, so he is looking at her.

“I will be dressed up as well. More clothes than you though,” she smacks his arm. “Aye, but you are right there is a pattern to your outfit and even mine.” He takes her hand and kisses it, “What are you thinking about baby?”

“Everything and nothing. You have given me zero clues about where we are going tomorrow. For all I know, you have me signed up for some burlesque show. I don’t know.”

“Burlesque show, huh? I don’t need to take you out to have you dance for me, darling.” Imani’s face heats up. She reaches for the small box in his hand, he pulls back and shakes his head.

“Gimme. I want what’s in the box.”

“Nah, you get it tomorrow when you wear the outfit.” Imani pouts and whimpers, “I can give you something to pout about.” He smacks her ass, lifts her up and carries her to the bedroom.

---

The next evening Imani arrives at Erik’s place, ready to get dressed. She has the skimpy outfit packed in her overnight bag along with her makeup. Erik is getting out of the shower when she walks through the door. “Hey baby, I’m here.”

“Great, the shower is all yours.” He walks over to her dripping wet with just a towel around his hips. “I’ll be in the living room when you’re done.”

Imani goes to the bedroom, lays out the corset, panties, and shoes. Setting up her toiletries and makeup on the bathroom counter, she looks in the mirror. “Ok, we can do this girl. E would not take you someplace dressed in next to nothing if he did not feel like it was kool.” She takes a few calming breaths before jumping in the shower.

Erik is rolling the small black box in his hand. He sets it on the coffee table as he runs his hands through his dreads. He has them up, banded together on top of his head with a few hanging loose on the right side. He reaches for his gold-rimmed glasses as he hears the pitter-patter sound of bare feet coming down the hall.

He looks up to see Imani’s back to him, her hair is pinned up on her head, and he sees her corset is undone. “Can you make sure the back is straight? I have the corset as tight as I want it but it still needs to be tied at the bottom.” He walks over to Imani, looking over the lace-up back of the corset. With a few pulls and twists, he gathers it all together and ties it at the small of her back. He is about to spin her around, “Thanks Daddy, gotta go,” and she runs off.

Erik laughs at Imani’s actions and walks back into the living room, thinking about what this evening means to him. Imani is not the only one nervous about the evening. He has been a member at this club for years, but this is a big step, especially for him. He hasn’t been there in over a year, and he always found play partners on site. Picking up the small box and flipping it open, he looks down at the pin. He is bringing his girl with him, someone who means everything to him. He is showing her another aspect of his life, one he never thought he would.

Sure, things get a little rough in the bedroom on occasion, but to actually set up and play scenes, is an entirely different thing. One, he was willing to leave behind, and now he doesn’t have to, because she wanted to explore this with him. He closes the box and sets it back down as the sound of heels coming down the hall draws his attention. Imani walks fully into the living room, and Erik is speechless.

Imani looks like perfection in his outfit. She is wearing her curls down, framing her face and with natural makeup. He notices the pops of gold that she included and smiles to himself knowing his girl picked up on the color scheme for the evening. She chose to use the straps on the corset creating a halter top that has her breasts sitting up and nearly falling over the top. Silently, thanking Lisha for her custom work, he can see the gold ribbons etched into the frame like pinstripes. The gold ruffled panties peek out just enough from under the corset. He follows her thick hips and thighs down her legs to see the black and gold shoes on her feet. She stands at the edge of the coffee table opposite of where he is sitting, no longer moving as he stands and makes his way over to her.

Imani lets out a low whistle as she takes in her man’s fit for the evening. She decides to start from the bottom, noticing his black leather driving loafers. He has on black pinstriped pants and a matching vest, putting his muscular, scar studded arms and chest on display. When she notices the pinstripes are gold, she clamps her thighs together. If there is one thing the man can do, it is dress. She notices his chest rise and fall as he was watching her just as intently. He didn’t miss that clench, and she can see it on his face. He puts the glasses on, and she audibly swoons. “Damn, is all that for me?”

He laughs reaching down to grab the box, “I could ask the same thing, baby girl. Who you lookin’ all good for?” She looks down and turns around slowly.

“My Daddy dressed me, you like?” The playful banter between them is making Imani less nervous than before. His nod of approval brings a big grin to her face. “So, can I get the last part now?” She reaches for the box as he walks over to her. He opens the small gift box for her, “OMG Erik, this is gorgeous.” She picks up the solid gold rose pin and laughs when she notices the stem is a big letter E. She hands it to him, “Go ahead Daddy, pin me.” Erik does the honors and stands back to see his live work of art.

As he takes all of her in, his mind roams to all that he has in store for her this evening. He really hopes that she enjoys herself. He goes to the closet by the door and grabs his black trench coat for Imani and a small duffle bag. She walks over, and he helps her into the coat. “Let me grab my keys, and we can go.” They walk down the stairs and out to his car.

Erik opens the door and helps her in, “So, are you finally going to tell me where we are going tonight?” He looks down at her and closes the door. Walking to his side of the vehicle, he gets in and starts the car. He grabs her hand and kisses it.

“I told you I wanted to take you to a club; tonight’s the night.” He glances over to her while making his way further downtown into the business district. “Now, there is something you need to know about it. This is a spot I used to frequent regularly before I met you, So, I haven’t been there in a while, but I do know a lot of people there.” Imani inhales deeply while listening to him. “Don’t worry, I got you, and you don’t have to do anything, but I wanted to share this with you.”

Looking out the window, watching the passing lights of the city Imani considers what he is saying. A real-life BDSM club, they truly exist. All her knowledge of them came from various books, and she never imagined she would be doing any of this, ever. And here is her man wanting to take her to one. Aren’t those exclusive? Which means that Erik is a member, too? Are we gonna run into any of his exes or former partners? Am I ready to do this with him? I know we have talked, and it is on my list, but do I want to do this so soon?

Imani looks over at Erik who hasn’t said a word to her since saying he wanted to share this piece of him with her. She can tell by his profile, he is worried about what she will say. She knows in her heart that if she were to tell him this was too much and to take her home, he would do it with a quickness. But she wants to experience everything with this man, and if he is ready to show her this side of him, then she is ready to be by his side. Glancing down at the golden E on her chest, she smiles and looks back towards him. She grips their entwined hands that he had been holding in his lap and pulls them to her chest. “Ok Daddy, I would love to visit the club with you.” Erik looks at Imani and matches her smile.

The rest of the ride is made in comfortable silence as Erik pulls into a lot in the midst of a bunch of suite buildings in the warehouse/business district area of town. He parks at the far end and gets out. He walks over to Imani’s side and helps her out of the car. They walk down a lighted path between buildings before approaching a door to one of the warehouses.

The door looked like any other door for a warehouse. It was a large green door with a solid latch fastened right above the handle. A black light was lit from above, casting a thrilling glow. Upon further inspection of the door, there is an eye-catching neon embellishment of the silhouette of a black woman with an afro constructed of flowers.

Erik and Imani stop in front of the bouncer who is giving them a once over before recognition dawns. “E, is that you?” He steps up and daps him up. “My man. We thought you were gone for good.”

“Wassup Rich, and yeah I’m back. But only because that’s what my lady wants.” He looks over at Imani, who smiles shyly at Rich. Erik wraps his arm around her waist and kisses her temple. Rich looks at Erik and smiles at them both.

“Alright Lady E, it is a pleasure to meet you. Don’t let me keep you from enjoying the night.” He winks at her and looks back at E. “It’s good to see you man,” he says before nodding at him, then speaking in a serious manner, “And his tune is heard on the distant hill…”

“For the caged bird sings of freedom,” Erik finishes off. Rich moves the steel latch before pushing the large green door open.

“Welcome to the Garden of Eden where nothing is forbidden.” Rich signals for them to enter and closes the door behind them.

Erik grabs Imani’s hand as he moves to enter the warehouse. Imani walks behind Erik just a bit, a little apprehensive of what the club would look like on the inside. The hallway of the warehouse was massive and dim, with each step she took, only part of the area was illuminated. As she peered ahead of Erik, she saw a bright white light hanging above an elevator. Erik looked back at Imani and continued to walk forward, squeezing her hand in comfort. Imani focused on the back of his head before looking toward the warehouse elevator wrapping the coat around her. As they approached it, nothing looked out of the ordinary. The couple stepped onto the freight elevator. Imani took note of Erik’s calming demeanor as he closed the large grated door of the elevator before pressing a button on the console. There was a subtle change to Erik as he relaxed more and more on the elevator ride to the third floor. Erik just stood in the center of the elevator, idly looking at the door. A reserved smirk on his lips like a switch just flipped. And where did that bag come from? When the elevator stops, Erik steps forward and puts his hand on her lower back. Imani releases the breath she had been holding in and relaxes into his touch. He looks down at her and says, “Ready to see paradise, baby girl?” ---

As the elevator door opened Imani was shocked to see how different this floor was to the ground level. A red carpet lined the hall as she and Erik stepped out of the elevator. Light blue neon lights lined the hallway as Erik and Imani walked deeper into the massive space, casting seductive shadows. Tropical plants of unknown origin earthed in porcelain vases were positioned along the enchanting hallway.

Imani looks around and observes the club occupants in different forms of dress. Women in lingerie, mainly corsets and ruffled underwear or skirts similar to her. There were some floor-length skirts, dresses, and gowns. Men in dark-colored bottoms, some shirtless or wearing harnesses/vests. Some are in suits as if they just came from work. Imani laughs when she observes a few rocking smoking jackets a la Hugh Hefner. The colors were as bright as the sun and as dark as night, covering the entire spectrum. She spotted couples in matching or complimentary colors like her and Erik.

She also noticed the distinct contrast between those who identified as Dom/mes and submissives like Erik had discussed with her. The Dominants possessed this feeling of status and power. It was in how they carried and presented themselves. Heads held high and their walks a bit straighter compared to the submissives who appeared smaller in stature even if they were physically taller. Their demeanor is more subdued and muted than that of the Dominants around them.

There are pairs and groups gathered around chatting. As she looks at them, she notices different colored bracelets on the wrists of the submissives. She turns to Erik who has been quietly watching her, “Daddy, what do those mean?” As they continue to walk into the rest of the foyer, Erik starts to explain.

“Those let the Dom/mes know the submissives’ status. The most common ones you will find are green, blue and red. You will find these on single subs, these refer to their limits, and certain kinds of play scenes they are interested in. Red is pretty much anything goes, blue means they have set hard and soft limits, and green means they are new. As always, everything is discussed beforehand, so no surprises occur and everyone is safe.” He points to a man in the corner with a green bracelet speaking with a Domme. “Most owned subs will have a collar or another marker chosen by their Dom. Those who are unavailable or spoken for may have an orange bracelet or a special marker.” She looks down at the Gold Rose on her chest and smiles. His eyes follow hers as he takes her hand and kisses it. “Ready to move on?” She nods, and they continue walking towards the bar in the back.

As they approach the bar, Imani sees a familiar face behind the counter. Dressed in a simple blue corset and matching ruffled short set, is Vicky with a cocktail shaker in her hand. She pours the drink into the glass and hands it over to another patron. Turning around she squeaks out, “E! Oh my god, you made it back and…” she squints trying to remember her name.

“Imani…it’s Vicky, right?” Vicky nods. Her eyes are moving back and forth between the two of them, smiling. Erik pulls Imani in front of him as Vicky continues to watch them interact. He runs his hands up her arms, slowly working the trench coat off her shoulders. Imani moves her arms to help him out, and Vicky sees Erik’s marker on her chest.

“So, you’re the one?” Imani looks at her curiously. “Let me get you both a drink first, and then we can chat. What’ll it be?” She wipes down the counter as Erik speaks.

“She’ll have a Stoli and Sprite, and I’ll have my usual.” Vicky sets two tumblers on the bar counter. Imani moves around in Erik’s arms face full of questions. “Just wait, it’ll all make sense soon enough.” Vicky gives Erik’s order to her fellow bartender.

“Mo, I’m taking five. Handle these next few guests, will ya?” She points to Erik, walks around and leads Imani to a nearby loveseat. Erik stays back by the bar.

Vicky and Imani take a seat. Imani feels a bit awkward, especially since Vicky is all smiles. Why is she looking at me like that? What does she know that I don’t? Imani thinks as she continues to look at Vicky.

“So…you’re the one Erik has been so excited about?” Vicky says her eyes locked with Imani.

Imani feels a bit nervous, “What has Erik been saying about me?” She licks her lips and swallows as her throat becomes dry. She looks around noticing the crowd of people enjoying themselves. Vicky lets out a small chuckle.

“Relax Imani, tonight is a special night for you.” She says her laugh getting slightly louder.

Imani tries to sit still but her legs begin to bounce. She begins to ponder Vicky’s words. “Special night? What do you mean?” Imani says.

“You have no idea what he has in store for you…I love it!” Vicky slaps her knee in excitement. “He didn’t give me any details so don’t worry…” Vicky says laughter lacing her voice.

Erik stands at the bar waiting for his drinks. He casually glances over to where Vicky and Imani are located. He can see that Vicky is enjoying her time with Imani as he watches her chat away to Imani. Imani on the other hand looks…a bit anxious. Erik smiles because he knows that Imani has no idea what he has planned for her later.

His attention is interrupted as he sees another worker in the same shade of blue as Vicky’s passing by. Erik raises his hand, quickly gaining the attention of the club attendant. “Can you have these items taken upstairs to the space reserved under Master E? Also, I will need a cold set up, just the basics. Thanks.”

The attendant smiles at Erik giving a quick head nod. “Right away, Sir.” He takes the small bag and coat from him then heads back towards the kitchen.

Erik’s gaze returned to the bartender as she returned with his drinks. Was it presumptuous to reserve a room, not knowing whether Imani may want to play later, sure. However, Erik has always prided himself on being able to read someone especially his girl.

Grabbing the drinks he quickly makes his way over to Vicky and Imani. He grins watching two of his favorite people talking animatedly. It would be nice for Imani to have a friend who can relate more to her role in this life if she decides to pursue it. He can only do so much as her Dom, and she can use the support. He notices that Imani looks more relaxed than just moments ago. He was thankful that Vicky was warming her up but hoped that a bit of her anxiousness remained for later.

“- basically lived there. Could never get him to leave.” Vicky stopped talking as she sees Erik approaching. Imani looks up and smiles at him, laughing. Erik lifts Imani up from her seat, taking her place, and moving her onto his lap. Vicky just cheeses at the whole scene before her.

“E, you look good!” Vicky claps then reaches for Imani’s hands, “You are good for him; I can see that already.” Imani and Erik share a quick tender look with each other. Vicky nods, glad to see her boy Erik happy. “Look, I gotta run back, but you know where to find me if you ever have any questions…especially about ‘the’ life.” Vicky punches E on the shoulder and jumps up, heading back to the bar.

“She is a ball full of energy, isn’t she?” Imani asks before sipping her drink. “She was like that when she helped me at the store that day.” Erik bobs his head in understanding, nibbling on her neck. She squirms in his lap. “Daddy, are you even listening to me?”

“That’s V, nothing new. She was like that when we met.” Erik mumbles into her neck, nipping at her ear he releases her. “Level check baby.”

“1, Daddy.”

“Good girl. So, any thoughts or questions for me?” He leans back in the loveseat bringing Imani with him.

“Well, Vicky mentioned that this isn’t the only floor of the club. How many are there if we are on the 3rd?” Erik sips his drink before responding.

“There are two more levels to the club; one above us and another three floors below.”

“Below? What could be under,” her eyes go wide as realization dawns. “Oh, got it. So, that means there are playrooms here then?”

“Yes, some of them are above, and the Dungeon is on the bottom,” Erik notes her visible shudder when he mentioned the Dungeon. “Would you like to see it?”

Imani immediately shakes her head no. Looking up at the displeasure in Erik’s eyes, she answers, “No Daddy, I don’t think I am ready to see any of that yet.” He bends his head in acknowledgment of her reply.

“Upstairs then?” Imani gets up from his lap in response, Erik follows suit, and takes her hand as they make their way through the rest of the lounge. They walk away from the couches into another open area of the floor leading to a grand staircase. Imani stops near a waterfall on the lower level. Erik stands next to her still holding her hand as Imani stares directly at the clear blue running water, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart.

Suddenly, the water opens up enough for Imani to make out a figure standing there. The water now collecting in the reservoir below. A beautiful dark skinned black woman walks forward. As she stands there with her long flowing dark tresses draping her body and covering the apex of her thighs, she starts rising up on a shell. Imani gasps as the live action Venus continues to ascend into the air about 20 feet before coming down. “Welcome to Venus’ Exploration Rooms.” She winks at Imani, “Looks like you are in good hands, pretty lady. Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Imani turns into Erik’s chest at the comment.

Erik rubs her back and laughs, “Level check, baby girl?”

“One,” she mumbles into his chest. Grabbing her chin, he forces her to look up at him. Reading her face, looking for a lie. “Honest, I am at one. I would tell you if it was something else Daddy, I promise.” Nodding, he squeezes her waist and turns her towards the stairs.

As they arrive at the top of the grand staircase, Imani looks up into the sky. She looks down at the floor and back up again. She is not sure the ceiling exists because she can see the moon and the stars clearly in the sky. Looking at the edges of the building walls, she realizes the roof of the building is a big ass window pane. She notices there are no official lighting sources and the upper floor appears dark.

She is about to ask Erik about the skylights when there is a loud moan off to their left. Imani looks over and sees a small stage surrounded by chairs and stools. It is lit up by big floodlights running top to bottom on each side. On the stage, is a bikini clad woman in heels strapped to a St. Andrew’s Cross being flogged by a Domme dressed in red. “Want to have a seat? We can watch their scene.” Erik whispers in her ear.

“Really?” Imani looks at him, “Ok.” Erik walks them over to a big comfy chair in the center, placing Imani on his lap with her legs draped over his legs. The Domme on stage has picked up her pace flogging the sub. One time when she pulls back, she separates the handle forming another flogger and begins to use both at the same time. Imani watches the Domme strike the sub using hits that make it appear as if she is turning double dutch.

A subtle heat flows through her and she settles into Erik’s lap. The Domme lets up on her sub, walking to her and speaking softly into her ear. Imani looks around at the others sitting down, watching the show. She never thought that she would be watching a live scene. Sure, she has seen a few porn clips online but they did not have the same effect on her as how she was feeling now.

As the Domme moves back into her previous position, Imani notices the sub seems completely at ease; no tension in her back displaying complete trust in the Domme. The sub starts counting the strikes the Domme is landing on her back. Imani is mesmerized by the scene, as the Domme trails the flogger along the sub’s body. She recalls how E’s flogger felt when he did the same thing to her. She shudders and lets out a soft moan. There is a tingle between her legs, so she crosses them in an effort to dampen the throbbing.

Erik has been watching Imani as she sits on his lap. He inhales deeply and smiles, he can smell her. He shifts her position on his lap facing her forward, with her legs hanging off to the side of each of his legs. Imani reaches back to grab his hands which are on her waist. “Relax. I got you. Just enjoy the scene. Keep your eyes on them.” Imani inhales deeply to calm herself and focuses on the stage. Erik runs his hands down her shoulders and arms. With every touch, he kisses along her neck and shoulder. Imani squirms on his lap as her arousal grows.

A string of moans escape her with Erik’s ministrations of her upper body. The sub on stage has vocalized her approaching orgasm and the Domme increases her speed going faster and faster until the sub screams out in pure pleasure. Her physical release can be seen running down her legs and onto the floor. Imani tries to shift her legs together on Erik’s lap.

He grips her thighs, “Did I tell you to move?” She suddenly stops squirming. He nibbles on her ear, “Good Girl. The show got you hot, baby?” No response. “Imani.” Still nothing, he follows her eyes to the stage. On stage, the Domme has release the sub who is now laying on her back on stage. The Domme has the sub spread wide, licking from ankle to inner thigh on each of her legs. “Shit,” he hisses, watching them again.

Imani turns in Erik’s lap, a lustful look in her eyes, “Daddy, I need you.” He chuckles.

“If you continue to be a good girl for Daddy, you will get whatever you want.” She pouts and he kisses her lips softly. He stands them up and grabs her hand, “Follow me.”

They walk to the other side of the upper floor where the walls are curtains. As Imani follows Erik down the long hallway, the music of erotic sounds flood her ears. She hears various objects buzzing and beeping, moans and grunts, furniture moving across the floor, and finally the sound of skin slapping together. Each scene is being played out privately, although publicly audible, behind the various curtains. She bumps into Erik not paying attention to the fact that he has stopped in front of an open space.

With Erik guiding her, they walked towards an unclaimed space at the end of the hall, marked by the clipped up curtain. Erik pulls her flush against him to release the curtain tie. Pulling back the curtain, Erik leans down by Imani’s ear, “Are you ready to play with me, Princess?”

_Club Entrance Quote from Caged Bird by Maya Angelou

SEQUEL

Taglist: @thehonorablekingerik @panthergoddessbast @myboyfriendgiriboy @wakanda-inspired @hearteyes-for-killmonger @awkwardlyabstract @muse-of-mbaku @youcantkillamutant @princessstevens @bartierbakarimobisson @msincognito67 @drsunshine97 @youreadthatright @amethyst1993 @shesfromwakanda @killmongersaidheyauntie @killmongerdispussy @thatbish27 @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @ljstraightnochaser @mamipeachy @thickoreo @thiccdaddy-mbaku @heyauntieeee @laketaj24 @eemahnee @bidibidibombaclaat @wikiwakanda @hidden-treasures21 @killmongersgurl @whoramilaje @monizzle96 @ajspencer1892 @jayjaydrama @blackpinup22 @almostpurelysmut @wakanda4neva

#erik killmonger #erik killmonger x oc #erik killmonger smut #the e commandments #thadelightfulone

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kk095 · 6 years

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Amanda's amniotic fluid embolism

Warning: this story features blood and other potentially sensitive subjects. Besides that, I hope everyone likes the story!

******

Amniotic fluid emboli (AFE) are a rare, but often fatal complication associated with childbirth. AFE's occur when amniotic fluid from the mother’s reproductive system enters her bloodstream, causing complications with pulmonary circulation, disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC), and bleeding/hemorrhage. The risk factors for AFE’s are very debatable, but the 2 that we know of are: advanced maternal age (35 or older) and a maternal weight of 220lbs or more. However, our patient Amanda didn’t fit into either of these categories. Amanda was a 28 year old white woman with straight brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, was 5'4, average build, and had a “girl next door” sort of look.

As with most cases of AFE, the onset was totally unexpected; Amanda’s case was no exception. Amanda was carrying twin boys and the pregnancy was uneventful until 2 days before her due date. Amanda complained of severe abdominal pain as well as difficulty breathing. Her fiancée Greg decided to call 911 due to Amanda's symptoms. Greg was a 29 year old white guy who was tall, thin, had blue eyes, longish brown hair, and fair skin. Greg and Amanda were together for 3 years, but decided to hold off on getting married for a little while due to Amanda becoming unexpectedly pregnant with twins.

After Greg's 911 call, EMS arrived approximately 5 minutes later. The paramedics set up 2 large bore IVs, got Amanda on an oxygen mask, removed her clothes, and got her hooked up to a portable heart monitor. On scene, it was noted that Amanda's pulse ox was 94, her BP was 150/100, and her heart rate was 108. Her stats were a bit off, but not to the point of raising a red flag. After these findings, a fetal heart monitor was placed on Amanda’s belly, revealing a fetal heart rate of 154 in one child and a heart rate of 158 in the second child. Although those numbers are within normal limits for fetal heart rates, they’re very close to the upper limits. Shortly following these findings, Amanda was brought out of the house and into an ambulance, while Greg was instructed by paramedics to drive to the hospital.

On the way to the hospital, Amanda’s pulse oxygenation didn’t improve. Her blood pressure started to decrease and she developed a dry cough while continuing to struggle with dyspnea. A few minutes into the trip, Amanda started to bleed vaginally. The bleeding was relatively minor, but it didn’t appear to go away despite paramedics’ efforts.

When Amanda arrived at the emergency department, she was gasping for air, crying, complaining of being cold, and increased vaginal bleeding. Amanda shivered and cried while the trauma team tried to figure out what exactly was wrong with her and her unborn children. Amanda was very scared at the time; she said things like “am I gonna die?” “are my babies ok?!” And “if you can’t save me, save my babies.” The trauma team tried to reassure her, but they still didn’t know what was wrong with her.

The attending physician in the ER ordered a battery of blood tests, along with an echocardiogram and an abdominal ultrasound. The echocardiogram didn’t reveal anything abnormal, but the abdominal ultrasound showed bleeding from an unknown location.

After a few minutes of unsuccessful attempts at replenishing Amanda's blood loss, she started coughing up sputum with a reddish pink color in it. Amanda also started to look rather pale and sickly at that point. Her blood pressure was decreasing and her o2 saturation was continuously going downhill. Because of that, it was decided Amanda would be taken up to the operating room for a c-section and emergency laparotomy to locate the source of the bleeding. Amanda seemed very frightened by the idea of surgery. “surgery?! Is there something else you can do?” she shouted out to us while continuing to gasp for air.

Once in the operating room, Amanda was sedated and intubated. The first order of business was to perform a cesarean section and deliver the 2 boys. Betadine was squirted onto Amanda’s large, protruding belly shortly before a pfannenstiel incision was made. Once her lower abdomen/pelvic cavity were exposed, the uterus was incised. The first child was quickly removed as its cries temporarily relieved the mounting tension in the operating room.

The uterus had to be opened a bit more in order to deliver the 2nd child, and prophylactic antibiotics were also administered to limit the chance of post-operative infection. 2 and a half minutes later, the 2nd child was brought into the world. Thankfully, both children were healthy and in stable condition; the same couldn't be said about Amanda.

After the c-section site was closed with double layer suturing, the exploratory laparotomy began. The surgical site was was sterilized so a midline laparotomy could be performed. A midline laparotomy is a clean cut in the center of Amanda’s abdomen starting below the xiphoid process/diaphragm, curved to the right around the belly button, and continues to the bottom of the pelvis. It’s a large cut that’ll leave a nasty scar, but it’s the most efficient method in regards to overall technique and access to structures in the abdominal and pelvic cavity. Midline laparotomies are also the quickest incision to make, which was important in Amanda’s case.

Amanda’s blood pressure and o2 saturation continued to decrease incrementally throughout the procedure while also continuing to bleed vaginally. Multiple units of blood and FFP were already used, but didn’t appear to correct Amanda’s hemorrhaging. After poking around in Amanda’s abdomen for 25 minutes, the source was still unknown. Eventually, Amanda's hemodynamic instability exacerbated and converted to V-Fib. The surgery was paused to perform resuscitation efforts.

An OR nurse pumped Amanda’s chest as hard as she could while she was switched over to an ambu bag. The defibrillator pads were charged and placed onto her chest while a round of epinephrine was injected into her IV. After several seconds, shock #1 was delivered. Amanda’s feet jumped into the air and slammed back down seconds later, showing off a few thick, prominent wrinkles in her soft, size 6 soles.

The monitors showed v-fib once again so CPR was resumed as the defibrillator pads were recharged. Amanda’s breasts bounced around from the force of each individual compression. Her arms jerked around on the table slightly as the OR nurse continued deep, rapid chest compressions.

After that cycle of CPR and ambu bagging, shock #2 was delivered. Amanda’s body quickly flopped on the table, making a wet squishing sound since she was essentially laying in a pool of her own blood. The monitors displayed coarse V-Fib so another cycle of CPR and ambu bagging was performed before the next shock.

Shock #3 was also unsuccessful. Amanda’s body jolted sharply on the table. The heart monitors displayed pulseless electrical activity (PEA), a deterioration from the previous rhythm. A round of epinephrine was injected as frantic resuscitation efforts continued on the cute, new mother of 2.

Unsuccessful resuscitation efforts went on for another 3 minutes. Another round of epinephrine was pushed, causing Amanda to convert back to V-Fib. The defibrillator pads were charged yet again, forcing everyone to back off of the table in anticipation of the next shock.

Amanda’s back arched before crashing back onto the table a second or two later. The monitors displayed no change whatsoever so the same cycle of CPR and ambu bagging went on as the defib pads were recharged.

Amanda’s lifeless body twitched violently on the table as another unsuccessful shock sent a dose of electricity through her limp body. This shock sent Amanda back into PEA.

Deep, violent chest compressions were resumed. Amanda’s abdomen bounced outward from the compressions while her head bobbed. The situation appeared to be grim, but the OR team continued their valiant efforts on the young mother.

After 4 more minutes of uneventful efforts and epinephrine injections, Amanda converted to V-Fib once again. Just like before, everyone backed off as the next shock was delivered. Amanda’s toes scrunched, showing off large wrinkles in her soft soles. Amanda’s nail polish on her toes was red, almost matching the small amounts of blood on the heels of her feet.

The OR team continued ACLS efforts since the monitors continued displaying V-Fib, or a variation of it. Amanda was shocked unsuccessfully 4 more times, and coded for another 7 minutes. Unfortunately, the surgical team couldn’t shock Amanda out of V-Fib and called time of death at 9:26pm after a 23 minute battle to save her life.

All equipment was removed from Amanda’s body, except for the detached ET tube in an ET tube holder and detached EKG electrodes on her chest. Because of DIC, there was blood in Amanda's ET tube, IV sites, and leaking from each nostril.

The laparotomy was then closed up and the bloody mess of an operating room was cleaned up. Once that was done, Amanda’s body was covered up, only leaving her cute, wrinkly soles exposed. A toe tag was placed on the big toe of her left foot with a vague cause of death listed since nobody knew what happened to Amanda at the time.

After the surgery, Greg was told the news by the doctors. He didn’t exactly know how to feel; on 1 hand, he’s happy both of his kids were alive and well, but on the other hand, he was upset his fiancée died in surgery. Since the cause of death was relatively unknown, Amanda’s family gave the pathologist permission to perform an autopsy.

Amanda’s autopsy revealed that she died from an amniotic fluid embolism. The amniotic fluid ended up in her venous system, went to her heart, and was pumped into her pulmonary arteries, explaining why she had trouble breathing. The body doesn’t know exactly how to fight an AFE, so it attempted to clot the blood in her body, but she quickly ran out of her natural clotting factors, explaining the vaginal bleeding, which turned out to be DIC.

Even though Amanda’s cause of death was discovered, it’s still a tough loss considering she was a young woman who’s leaving a fiancée and 2 children who won’t know their mother.

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drjasonjones-blog · 5 years

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Meeting My Future

Jason:

The night was dragging slowly tonight, ER was busy but not with anyone who was seriously injured. Patients rolled in and rolled out, the bays cleaned up for the next patient and paperwork had been written up. This was my last shift before I had a three day break, but there was nothing at home for me either. I was born and raised in Caldwell, trained as a doctor and landed a job at the St Francis Hospital. My parents would've been proud of me if they were still here but fate had other ideas, they were both killed in a horrific car crash after a drunk driver had smashed into the driver's side, the car was written off and my parents were pronounced dead at the scene. That was ten years ago, since then I lived my life as a survival process, eat, drink, work and sleep, never met anyone who struck me dumbfounded. Ever.

This night was going to change everything, paramedics came rushing in, a man on a stretcher who was unconscious “BP 70/40, been given morphine as he has a break on his lower left leg, both fibia and tibia” “Bring him into bay two” the paramedics and nurses were on either side of the man “After three. One, two, three” They all pulled him onto the bed. The paramedics gave me his chart and left the ER. “Let's have a look at you” My breath caught in my throat, there was a scar that went from the middle of his forehead, down his nose and an S shape curve to his top lip that made it distorted. “You certainly have been in the wars, but this cut looks like an old injury” A nurse had taken his jacket off and it thudded to the linoleum floor. What the fuck? The nurse bent down picking it up “It weighs a ton, I'll go through his pockets to see if he has any ID” “I doubt it, with his looks and the weight of his jacket I bet he's involved in gang, drugs or both” The nurse went through his pockets taking out guns, daggers, extra clips, a length of chain and a wad of money. “No drugs or ID but with this money I bet he's already sold his products” Right back to the game. A male nurse proceeded to cut his leathers up his broken leg, the break was clean “Let's get this straightened out before a blood clot forms and travels to his heart, lungs or brain”

After straightening his leg and strapping it up I went in all doctor mode on him, there was no other injury on his lower body. That's when I had noticed the holster across his chest, handles were facing out. Unsheathing one of the handles, the blade emerged, it was beautifully crafted but I didn't have much time to admire the craftsmanship. Handing the blade over with the other arsenal I unclipped the holster and took it from his body. I grabbed the stethoscope, putting the buds into my ears I placed the metal disc against his chest above his heart. That was odd, taking the disc off his chest and put it on my own chest, I heard my heartbeat. “Anything the matter doctor?” I placed the disc back onto his chest, there was a distinct echo “Get me ultrasound here now, there's an echo in his heart”

The night couldn’t have gotten any worse. After having woken to #Bella in our mated bed, not that he slept much, if at all. She started in on him. We need to pick a male, she is getting close to her transition. No male was good enough for his young. Didn’t Bella understand? Did no one understand? This was his young gets the best and that’s it, nothing more and nothing less. After storming out of our chambers, Nalla, was the next to get on him. Thinking that she could wrap him about her finger, about joining the program. He wasn’t going to have HIS young out there fighting. She needed to be protected. Rhage let Bitty yes. Hell she went and talked to everyone about it. Z, loved his young with every fiber of his soul. But we all knew that there was a lot that was different in growing up for Nalla and Bitty. All of this, it was just to much, and he hadn’t even been up an hour. He needed to get out and clear his head, or he was going to snap.

Leathers, shitkickers, weapons and money. He was ready. He at least told Wrath he was going out. There was no need to explain why. Wrath knew what was going on. Hell the whole mansion knew. Dematting downtown next to #ZeroSum. He was itching for a fight. His eyes already black, from the normal, well it was now normal, yellow eyes. He stalked the dark streets, the bass of the music washing over him. It only fuled him more. He hunted for what was his prey. The fuckers that would see him and his dead. Lessers. Not that he needed to wait that long. Once he put some distance between him and ZeroSum. The strong smell of baby powder hit his nose. He smirked, it was time to play. He stalked right for the smell, coming around the corner of the ally. A group of 5 lessers, this was just what he was needing. They all turned as he smirked at them. His heart raced, the blood pumping. They ran at each other, and a deadly dance of blades began.

The next thing that he knew, he was in pitch blackness. A beeping and voices in the distances. What the hell had happened? He couldn’t remember anything at the moment. The only thing he could do was trying and fight against the blackness that wanted to drag him down. He would fight like hell to get back.

Jason:

Having the wand of the ultrasound in my hand, I squeeze some gel onto the end and some gel on his chest by his heart. Placing the wand onto his skin I look at the image on the screen. This couldn't be right, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, his heart had six chambers, that would explain the echo. I had heard of a three chamber heart, a throwback like if the human race was evolved from lizards.

I took several pictures of this man's heart, he would be a medical wonder to us all and it will help us to understand why he had this mutation. But for now he was in need of my care to get him healed up, he was going to be here at the hospital for some weeks with that clean break. Now that I had him comfortable I had him wheeled down to room 5 where I can give him another check on him. Moving the covers off his broken I saw that his bones had healed already. How can this be? What was he?

Stunned and shocked at this man or whatever he was in front of me he would be a medical marvel, someone to study to test how his healing powers are so advanced to ours and the heart with its six chambers. I'd love to get to know this man or whatever he was better in a medical sense. I have to admit I was fascinated by him, I was drawn to him, I was attracted to him. What was I feeling? I looked up above me as if God would give me the answer.

Hours, minutes? He didn’t know how long time had passed. In the darkness time didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. But he fought like the warrior that he was. He had to get back to his young, yes his young. She was waiting for him to come home. He couldn’t leave her, he loved her to fucking much for that. He also had to protect her, the race and the king. Slowly, he started to pull from the darkness. There was a smell that filled his nose, going deep into his lungs. It was the most intoxicating smell. One that he wanted to be closer to. There was a growing need to see where this scent was coming from. Who this scent was attached to.

Slowly his eyes opened, yellow eyes burned. They landed on a male, as he was looking up to the heavens. His heart sped in his chest. All he could do was stare at this male before him. He took a deep breath, breathing in the male. Fuck it was going to make his whole body hard. He didn’t even notice where he was. The world had fallen away. All he could was the male. Yeah he was fucked. He hadn’t had these feelings in such a long time. It was a little disarming.

He had hidden a big part away from everyone, even his own brother. He was gay, males had always done it for him. He mated Bella to hide that fact. Yes he loved her on some level, but he didn’t feel like this. No. It was never this intense for him. Shit. He didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do. Maybe he should scare the male away, it would be safer for him. He wanted to protect him. And he didn’t know why in this moment. That a male would come into his life, and now he would have to figure all this shit out. It was going to be mess if he didn’t do it right.

Jason:

Hearing rustling I looked down to the man laid on the bed, his eyes open. O my god, they were a beautiful shade of yellow. Yellow? No one had yellow eyes, he must be wearing contacts, but why would he cover up his eyes? "Are those contacts you have on your eyes? But why cover up your eyes?" I wanted to see his eyes close up, I bent at my waist getting closer to him, I noticed a scent, a line forest scent. Who plugged a Glade air freshener in the room?

I looked deeply into his eyes and came to the conclusion that they weren't contacts "Your eyes are so beautiful, I've never seen eyes that colour before. Who or what are you?" I didn't expect him to answer me, for all I knew he could of been a foreigner who didn't speak English. But then I remembered his jacket full of weapons and money "Are you in a gang? Was it's rival gang who broke your leg?" It wasn't fair of me to bombard him with questions but I had to know more about him, one thing I was certain of was that he had lead a hard life with the many scars on his body and on his face.

Straightening myself I checked over his body again, the break had completely healed in the time I was talking to him, he was a miracle. I had to get to know him more, I wondered if I made the excuse to do a follow up check on him I'd get to know more about him, where he is from and where he lives. I had this feeling that he was getting under my skin, I was literally breathing in his essence and I wanted more.

Fuck me. He noticed that he had come around and was staring at him. When his eyes met his, damn. They were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. He didn’t even answer him, when he threw all the questions at him. They were just noise when he was staring at the male before him. Should he speak now? Hell he didn’t know. Never in his life had he had this before. Wanting to pull the male closer, just breath him deeper into him. The moment that he got closer. Oh that wonderful scent. He almost reached up and pulled him closer. But he gripped the sheets in his hands. Was it bad that he wanted to kiss the male and make him his own? Yeah it was bad, because he was human, and in his world. Humans could get hurt or worse killed.

Beautiful? He wasn’t beautiful. His body was fucked up. Slave bands wrapped around his wrists and neck. His face was fucked up. The scars that littered his body. Nothing about him was beautiful. The male wouldn’t understand, how could he? All these questions proved to Z that he couldn’t have anything with the male. Even though every fiber of his being wanted to be with him. Mine, screamed in his head. Oh fuck. This wasn’t good, but fuck it he wanted this male. What would everyone think about all this? Did he give a fuck? No he didn’t. But one way or another he was have this male as his. He would have to see if he was up to deal with Z himself.

Now was the time he was going to get his answers. His voice gruff at first. “A gang?” He wanted to laugh. “Maybe…” He smirked at the male. “Do I have a broken leg now?” He knew that his leg was healed. His race never took long to heal, and he had fed, so it wouldn’t have been a problem. Z, sat up on the edge of the bed, standing at his full height, as he pushed off the bed. He stepped close to male. The smirk no longer on his lips. “I’m not beautiful in any form. Look at me.” He was daring him to. “I’m fucked up.” He took another step forward to the male. “I’m something dangerous.” If he showed any fear, he would smell it and see it. This was his chance to prove to Z if he could handle him.

Jason:

The man spoke, his voice was beautiful, like an angel. It wasn't what I'd expected from him, I expected a deep rumbling voice but his was sweet and it was soothing. He'd asked if he had a broken leg "Yes your fibia and tibia were broken, it was a clean break. Do you remember how it had happen?" I could see by his expressions he was having a war with himself about what I didn't have a clue, so I asked him the dumbest question of all "Are you in pain?"

The man got to the edge of the bed and stood to his full height, I was near him if his knees buckled but he stood there solid like a tree. He took a step forward and then another, closing the gap between us. Yes I was feeling crowded but I showed no fear to him, then he said that he wasn't beautiful, that he was fucked up "Tell me who isn't fucked up anymore. We all hurt from our past. Some more than others" He grinned but his top lip always remained over his top teeth like he was hiding something. Do I take the plunge and ask or do I remain silent. Before I knew what was happening I opened my mouth and the words tumbled out "What are you hiding from me?"

I was mentally kicking myself after the words escaped my mouth. Fuck now I'd done it. His face contorted as if he was in two minds to show me. Then I remembered his words about being not beautiful "To me you are beautiful and what's that scent? It's like a pine forest" I inhale once more, that scent burrowed itself deep into my bones "What are you doing to me? Are you trying to gas me, have me black out and then kill me and dump my body where no one will able to find me" My own words had me scared bit I stood my ground and showed no fear to him.

Pain? In pain? He shook his head, he wasn’t in any pain. In some ways he might be. Not able to touch him, to bring him close. His soul ached. Because he knew that it wouldn’t be simple to be with him. There would be so many things to deal with. The biggest? Him being human. Yeah Z had a thing from feeding from humans. Once he thought he was dirty, unclean. Now, now he felt that he was once again. Not good enough. This male before him needed a life free of danger. For him to be with Z, he wouldn’t be able to live his normal life again. He would never be safe again. He didn’t want for the male. Something better than him.

Z moved the male, through movement, his back almost hitting the wall. He placed his hands on either side of his head. He leaned in a little bit. “Hiding? Now why would I hide anything.” He smirked, the tip of his tongue licked his upper lip, teasing the scar. “If I showed you what it could be. You would run screaming from this room.” Maybe it was best that he told him what he was, scare him shitless. They he would be save from Z and his world. It would be the best for the both of them. Then why didn’t he just show him, get it over with? There was something that was keeping him from doing just that.

What shocked Z, is that the male could smell his scent. Was there something special about this male? He didn’t let the shock show on his face. What was really a slap in the face. That he would think that he would kill him. Yes. He was a cold blooded killer. The scariest motherfucker of the brotherhood. One that you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. For some reason it hurt him to hear those questions. To hear what he actually thought. Not that he would understand why Z felt the way he did. Hell Z himself didn’t even understand it. Yellow eyes meeting his. “If I wanted you dead. You would be laying on the floor right now.”

As much as it killed him, he pulled himself away from the male. Taking a few steps back. He needed to get out of here, wipe his memories and poof out of his life. He looked around the room. “I need my shit.” once he had it he would be out here like a lesser with a dagger through the heart.

Jason:

He came closer, putting his hands on the wall my head between them. This close I smelt more of that scent and his eyes. O my god I could get lost into those eyes. Everything faded, it was just him and me, nothing mattered but him. Then he abruptly broken the connection that had us tied together for that brief moment. "Where's my stuff?" "I'll go get them for you"

Coming back into the room with his clothes. "I'm afraid your leather trousers had to be cut to gain access to your leg. The only thing I have are hospital scrubs" Handing over the clothes I moved back towards the door, I thought giving him privacy was what he wanted. He dressed quickly, his face showed disgust at the scrubs, I had a feeling that wherever he lived would be stocked up with more leathers. "It's coming to the end of my shift, will I ever see you again?" For the first time I had feelings for another being, pity he was in a gang. That was my luck for you. Before he could answer I exited the room, I didn't want to hear his rejection. I quickly got my things from the locker and headed to the car park.

Getting into my car I had the feeling I was being watched, it wasn't like his stare. This was more threatening. I started the car up, dropped the feeling and drives out of the hospital grounds. Along the back road that went to the suburbs of Caldwell the feeling came back, I looked out of the rear view mirror and saw a minivan. I couldn't really see the driver but my feelings became uneasy, I had a feeling I had just stared at pure evil. Putting my foot on the accelerator, I tried to get to my destination before anything would happen. Round the corner a Ford Taurus was stopped blocking the road, I slammed on the brakes. Taking a look in the rear view mirror the minivan had stopped. Men were getting out and coming towards my car. The door of the Ford Taurus opened and out got a man with pale hair and skin. What the actual fuck? My door was opened by one of these pale freaks "He smells of vampire but he's not one of them" "kill him. We can't have witnesses, the Master will be angry if there are any" I prayed for a saviour to come and save me. The pale freak beside me raised his fist and punched me squarely in the face. Blackness came rushing, surrounding me, swallowing me down. I didn't know if I was alive or dead.

#MeetingMyFuture

#DarkParables

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