#my fiance gets the pickles that come with my meals

[nerdieforpedro]

Chucho’s Magic Pickles

A Pickled Peña Fic

Javier Peña x Luna (plus size OFC)

Fanfiction 18+

Javier Pena Masterlist / Main Masterlist / A03 link

Word Count: approx 3.2k

Warnings: Chucho is his own warning (we kinda see where Javi gets it from), food (besides the pickles - this is me people), father/son time, overuse of pickles, angst, cursing, fluff

Summary: Javier Peña had something that he wanted to discuss with Luna. His father’s been mentioning it every chance he gets. Chucho sings of the wonders he has found with his jar of gherkins.

Notes: I actually had a difficult time coming up with an idea for this fic because I haven’t written much for Javi P. I enjoyed giving him a bit of comedy because my other fics with him were angsty. Hopefully I can write some more fics for him this year. 😎 I dabbled in Canva for the graphic and the banner. 💚

Luna knew several things:

Her coworker Anna needed to come back to work to pick up her part of this project.

Her boyfriend’s father was the cutest old man who seemed to call every woman at the clinic he went to “Bonita (pretty)” and reserved “Hermosa (gorgeous)” for the older receptionist, Maria, who she may or may not have seen at his house when she dropped off food to him on occasion.

She wasn’t sure if she should tell her boyfriend about this, but she did encourage Chucho to talk to his son about it.

She’s been with her boyfriend for two years and she’s very happy with that. She doesn’t want anything to change. It’s the happiest she’s been in years.

Chucho sat on the couch, patting his thigh. He’d just come in from brushing the horses when he heard a truck pull up. It belonged to his only child Javier. He was happy to see him, they agreed to have lunch twice a week now he was home from Columbia and retired from the DEA. There were many things said about his son, some of which he’d heard from a few of his lady friends. They said that he was a coward for running away from his then fiance at the time, all the way to Columbia. They also said that his son had quite a way with women, not unlike Chucho did back before he met his dear late wife. He took all these with a grain of salt, especially when he finally returned to the United States.

He worried for his son, who he thought may remain unmoored while back in Loredo. It turns out, it was for naught as Javier worked with the sheriff’s department. He had responded to a sighting of a fugitive which didn’t pan out, it was an overeager young cop who thought they saw someone on the most wanted list but it was really old man Loggins who hadn’t been by the barbershop in two months due to a fishing trip and not wanting to leave his house.

As Javier walked up the steps to his father’s porch, he carried some lasagna that he was handed in town to deliver to his father from one of Chucho’s lady friends Ms. Lucia. It reminded him of when he met Luna, his girlfriend, she had been eating the same meal that day.

Two years prior…

It was a blistering hot day in Loredo, temperatures were over one-hundred degrees in the direct sun and even in the shade, they hovered around ninety-five degrees. Despite Javier forgoing his tan jacket to match the tan pants and shirt that went with his uniform, he still had large wet spots under his arms and around his neck. He stopped in Ms. Lucia’s restaurant hoping she’d take pity on him and not charge him for some iced tea. He wouldn’t be getting any whiskey until after he was off duty. His drinking had significantly cut down due to his hours, but his smoking not so much. Thankfully, Ms. Lucia gave him the water and iced tea in exchange for saying hello to his father for her. His father was popular with the older women despite spending most of his time on his range with the animals. The restaurant was fairly full for the lunchtime crowd and there weren’t really any open seats, Ms. Lucia walked Peña over to a table and sat him down across from a woman in a baby blue sundress.

He saw a woman who had a sheen to her skin from the heat despite the air conditioning. It was likely from the number of people in the restaurant, talking, eating, laughing and the like. She had a head full of hair and a mouth full of pasta when she looked up after hearing something across the table he assumed and covered her mouth as she was confronted with a grinning Javier sipping some cold ice water, feeling a few drops dribble down his chin and chest. It felt refreshing in this sweltering heat. The woman swallowed her food, her wide eyes trying to figure out who he was. He didn’t recognize her so she might be a transplant, just moved back or someone who came after he left. She cleared her throat and sipped some of her own water that some of the ice had melted clearly.

“Sorry about that. I didn't expect Ms. Lucia would sit someone at my table. I thought she’d give me a warning at least.” She smiled softly, clearly a little embarrassed but he found it endearing that and the small splotch of tomato sauce that was on the corner of her mouth. Peña grabbed a paper napkin from the dispenser in the middle of the table and tapped her cheek, wiping inward toward where the sauce was. He surprised himself by the action, he’d meant to hand it to her and point it out, but his hand moved on its own. What surprised him more is that she didn’t move, she just let him wipe her cheek, closing her eyes for a moment until he pulled back.

“Did you get it all?”

“Yes I did. Are you typically a messy eater?”

A soft chuckle rolled from Javier as he sat back, setting the napkin on the table. The woman folded her hands and sat a bit straighter, exposing that her sundress was form fitting on the top, hugging her chest, while it looked like the bottom flowed out from under her bust, it had short sleeves that stopped short of her elbows and were similarly stained as his shirt was.

“I can be at times. The lasagna here is delicious. Thanks for wiping that for me.” He saw her move a non-existent piece of hair behind her ear, probably a nervous habit. “I haven’t seen you here before? Do you know Ms. Lucia?” She asked, drawing him back from watching her movements.

“Yes, I knew her from when I was little and she’s aquanitted with my father.” A sentence Javier never imagined saying, he’d found that he’s said it a times about several women his father knew. He found himself wondering if this is how people thought of him, in Columbia and when he was last in Loredo. Her brows furrowed, did she know his father too? Normally Chucho went for age appropriate women, this would be a first that his father had a lady friend in his age group.

“Is your father Mr. Chucho? I see him sometimes at the market a few times a month. I remember him because he always had his large white hat on and a big smile. You guys have the same mustache.” A loud giggle made her body bounce. Javier shook his head and smiled, but was still unsure if he liked being compared to his father or not.

He nodded adding, “I don’t know about the mustache though. Mine still has color.” Pena flashed a toothy smile as he watched her face soften after her laugh. “What’s your name cariño (dear)?” Javier took a few more swallows of his water before setting the empty glass down, licking the last of the water off his lips. He watched as she tilted her head, grinning.

“You haven’t told me yours yet you know, but because I’m nice and you did see me with a mouthful of pasta, I will answer. My name’s Luna, Luna Stevens. Given who your father is, I assume your last name is Peña?” She quipped and his eyebrow raised, she was a smart one, he liked that. He reached across the table again and held her hand.

“My name is Javier Peña. You come here often, Mrs. Stevens?” He asked, eliciting another laugh with his cheesy joke. She squeezed his hand when she answered.

“I do and it’s Ms. Stevens. Never been married, no children. You?”

“Almost was once, but never did. No children either.”

After establishing some very basic facts about each other, it took about an hour before Peña’s partner came looking for him and said they had to head back to the office. Javier frowned but duty called. He stood and so did Luna, she walked him to the door, stating that she also had to get back to work, she’d been gone for too long. Thankfully, it wasn’t so busy today so she’d be able to catch up. Before Peña could ask, she told him that it could be made up to her with a date and handed him her phone number and name on a napkin. She told him to keep it safe and Javier did. He stuck it in his front chest pocket so no sweat would get on it and called the number that night. They ended up talking for a few more hours and set up a date later that week.

Back on Chucho’s porch…

“Hey old man! I’m here. You alright in there?” Javier walked into his father’s home, heading to the kitchen first to put the dish in the fridge and then went to the living room. He watched as his father had his hand in a jar of pickles, removing one and gave it a loud crunch.

“Hey hijo (son)! In here!” Chucho waved with his free hand and continued to chew the pickle before swallowing it and washing it down with some whiskey.

“You can’t be drinking that. It’s the middle of the day and didn’t the doctor tell you to back off a bit?” Javier chides him and takes the glass, downing the remainder of it. Chucho frowns.

“I’m an old man. Leave me be. It cleans out the pipes. Plus the pickles will wash it out too. Want one?” He offered and Javier declined, going back into the kitchen and pouring two glasses of water. He set one next to his father and sat in the chair across from him.

“This is your lunch, these pickles? I bought lasagna from Ms. Lucia, now you’re not gonna eat it.”

“I’ll still have room for the food. Don’t worry hijo. Plus I need to eat just a few more just to be ready for tonight. You should consider some of these. Maybe then I’ll see you married with children before I meet your mother again.” Chucho finished his current pickle and started another one pointing it at his son, “I know you’ll tell me no. But don’t tell me you haven’t thought about moving Luna into your house and making an honest woman out of her. Neither of you are spring chickens and these pickles have been better than those little blue pills they show on TV. Now I have two things I want from you hijo for the upcoming year: the first is to at least ask Luna to move in with you and second, is to Maria on a small road trip.”

Javier slumps back in the chair and covers his face, he is not having this conversation with father and he cannot take this seriously while he is eating pickles.

“Pop, I’m gonna go. You enjoy your pickles and I’ll be back later this week when you don’t have your hand in that jar, okay?” He stood up and left, sitting in his truck for a bit before driving back home. Luna was supposed to be stopping by tonight for dinner and a movie so he was going to straighten up the house and make some tamales and rice.

He would like to talk about what they’re future was going to look like. Had he still been in Columbia he’d be fine with having a life separate from the woman he was seeing. That was actually necessary both there and when dealing with the Cali cartel. Now he’s at peace, sort of, he was out of the DEA and now just keeping track of weird shit that happened with cows, horses and highways. It was boring, but a good boring that he welcomed along with something he never thought he’d have, a steady girlfriend and at this point, he felt she was a partner. Not in the same way Steve had been but someone who he could rely on, like when he got sick with whatever flu that was, she took a few days off to stay with him and take care of him. Maybe he pouted a little extra and got her to feed him a bit but he was sick and not feeling well and why can’t he be babied a little? Point is, Luna did it with only minimal teasing and even gave him a back massage too.

Luna arrived at Javier's house at seven on the dot. He promised her dinner, a movie and knowing her Javi, they may make it to the bedroom or not. She brought some wine and chocolate cake that she had made the day before when she’d gotten home earlier. Javier wasn’t really one for sweets, but she could convince him of some red wine and cake after dinner. She knocked on the door and heard him yell that he was coming. Javier wore a light blue polo shirt with a pair of dark wash jeans. He didn’t have any socks on and she frowned, he’d just gotten over a cold not too long ago.

“Javier, where are your socks?” Luna asked as he took both bags that she had been carrying, while she held onto her purse. She was wearing a purple sundress that had a deep V in the front and was complemented by her red lipstick and black ballet flats. Luna reached in her purse and pulled out a small bag when she had a small pair of slippers. She made a point to put them on in the foyer so Javier would see.

“Bebita (baby girl) relax. I’ll go put something on my feet in a few. Let me take the wine and dessert out, then I’ll go set your overnight bag in the room.” He gave her a small kiss on her cheek, followed by one on her neck, purposely rubbing his mustache against her skin. That earned him a giggle from her and removed her frown. She entered the kitchen and removed the cake, wine and a gift she had gotten from Chucho earlier in the week. The elder had told her that his son loves them so she figured she would bring them over and Javi would eat them later. They don’t quite go with the tamales they were going to eat tonight.

Javier returned to the kitchen and saw an abomination of his counter, Luna was dishing up their plates and turned to her boyfriend confused by the look of anger on his face. “Javi? Javier? What’s wrong? I normally dish up the plates.” Shaking his head, he stomped over and picked up the jar, shaking it.

“This! These damn things! Why are they here? Did you bring them?” Peña screamed and Luna was taken aback, never in their two years together had this happened. Sure she’s seen him pissed but never yelling. Setting down the plates, she crossed her arms and tilted her head.

“Javier Peña. Why are you yelling at me right now? Are you really yelling at me about pickles?” She questioned, confused as to why pickles of all things would set him off.

For the last few weeks, Chucho has been preaching to Javier about the merits and blessing of pickles both for health and in the bedroom. He needed no help in either place he assured him, but then he would talk about marriage and for Javi not be scared of it. It’s a good thing, obviously Luna is not Lorraine. She’s not trying to trick you into anything. Hell, he’d never heard the woman say the words marriage, bride, wedding or engagement. On the same token, because it’s never been talked about, it also felt like he could never bring it up.

“I just need these out of my house Luna. I can’t look at them.” He set the jar down as they both looked at it. “Lo siento mi amor (I’m sorry my love). My father keeps talking about what his magical pickles can do for him and mar-marinating them.” Javier embraced Luna and she wrapped her arms around his back, she took a step back to look at him.

“Your father only marriantes meat Javier. What else does Chucho speak to you about? What aren’t you telling me Javi?” She asked, knowing him well enough that when he sucks on his bottom lip like that, he’s holding back something. Javier sighed and released her, starting to pace with his hands behind his head.

“You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?” He fired back.

“That makes no sense, you have lunch with your father twice a week, while I’m at work. How would I be-”

“I mean after work, before work and on weekends. You’re not here. You’re at your apartment and he might not keep bugging me about marriage and kids if you were here with me in my house. We’re going to go into another year without talking about it.” Javier has let it all out, though angrily instead of calm and over dinner like he planned. Fucking pickles. He snuck a glance at them before looking back at a bewildered Luna.

“So, your father, bugging you about getting married and having children, is my fault because I haven’t moved in with you? Javier, I am a woman in her late thirties living in Texas! You don’t think I hear that weekly and sometimes daily, especially this time of year!” Luna yelled back, Javier took a few steps to the left, placing the kitchen island between him and his girlfriend. She pressed her palms into the island and exhaled. “What do you want Javi? Do you want to marry me? Do you even want children? We’ve never talked about this. I’d been nervous to bring it up because I don’t really care either way.” Luna’s voice softened, “I’m just happy to be with you Javier. Do we need to do all those other things?”

Peña cleared his throat and walked over to Luna, kissing her forehead and took her hands in his, “Mi amor, I’m so sorry. I love you too and I don’t need anything else. Never really thought about having them to be honest. I do know I would like to wake up to you without seeing that damn overnight bag in the corner of the bedroom.” The pair raised their hands together and laughed again, making their way back over to the food, dishing it up and sitting down at the table. After finishing dinner, they popped open the wine and cut up a few slices of cake. Luna brought over the jar of pickles to watch ‘The Last Seduction’ Javier squinted his eyes at the jar as she set it on the coffee table.

“I figured since it made us have a serious conversation, sort of. The pickles could join. Maybe there’s something to what Chucho says.” Luna chuckled as she curls up in Javi’s arms and he leans his head back on the couch.

“You, my father and these damn pickles. As soon as you doze off during this movie, I’m tossing them. Don’t accept any more pickles from Pop. he needs to keep them over on his ranch.” Taking a sip of the wine, Javier started the move and kissed Luna’s shoulder.

He cut his eyes at the pickles again - fucking magic pickles. Javier would never tell his father that the old man may have been onto something.

Admirers of Javier’s pouty lips 👄 :

@fhatbhabie @morallyinept @pedritapascal @pascalsanctuary @nissaimmortal @grogusmum @tinytinymenace @beefrobeefcal @goodwithcheese @megamindsecretlair @movievillainess721 @pedrodascal @theywhowriteandknowthings @trulybetty @perotovar @joelslegalwhre @josephquinnswhore @mandoisapunk @secretelephanttattoo @for-a-longlongtime @legendary-pink-dot @sin-djarin @maggiemayhemnj @seratuyo @sp00kymulderr @intoanotherworld23 @linzels-blog @joelmillers-whore @guelyury @laurfilijames @missladym1981 @pamasaur @alltheglitterandtheroar @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rhoorl @yorksgirl @maggiemayhemnj @saturn-rings-writes @gwendibleywrites @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @undercoverpena @musings-of-a-rose @soft-persephone @katw474 @javierpena-inatacvest @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @magpiepills @handspunyarns @i-own-loki @papipascaaaal

#pickled peña #pickledpena #pickledpeña writing challenge #pickledpeña #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena narcos #javier pena x you #javier pena fic #javier pena x reader #javier peña #Javier Peña x plus size reader

[ashslingingslasherx]

My ultimate weight loss foods (these work for me, im always looking for hella low cal foods that satisfy whatever cravings bc im bad at having an ed)

Most of these are per serving but some are per 100g

Cheese sticks 80

Turkey bacon 35 per piece

Swiss low fat laughing cow cheese 30

Rice cakes 35

Apples 100 (for 100g)

Watermelon 30 (for 100g)

Celery 14 (for 100g)

Progesso low fat/cal soup 220!!!!!!!! (Super satisfying, feels nourishing and comes w SO MUCH)

Light greek vanilla yogurt 90 (

Splenda 0 cal ❤❤❤❤

Eggs 70 (cook in pan w some water instead of butter or oil!)

Skinny popcorn 40 cals for 1 cup!!

Dark chocolate thin peanut butter cups 170 for 3 (these are sooo perfect when im craving something sweet)

Lunchable snack duos 110 per pack (it feels like theres a ton of food in these and they take forever to eat)

Pickles ~0 (i add a bunch to every meal bc they add substance, are p filling !)

Swanson chicken broth 40 cals for the HUGE carton of it!!!!!! SUPER FILLING and you can add low cal veg like celery and carrots to bulk it up

Tea!!! 0 cals and super satisfying! Im obsessed w caramel chai rn. I like adding a ton of 0 cal splenda, a touch of cinnamon, and then either a splash of milk if im brave or some cold water to cool it down enough to drink it

Bang energy drink 0 cal (the cherry vanilla one is the best one)

Cucumbers 15 (for 100g)

Plus ik its fucked but if i really want something thats not safe, i take a bite and chew it and then spit it out. I get away w doing it in front of my fiance by saying i tasted something weird in it 😌 im v picky so no one thinks anything of it

#low cal ana #tw ed stuff #low cal snacks #notprojusttags #tw eating things #ana snacks #pro mia #amvpnr

[kailedger]

for all the YOI fanfic author, p.2

Oh wow, let me tell you, I really didn't expect the previous post on Russian culture to blow up ahaha (Here’s the link to it, in case you’re wondering: https://kailedger.tumblr.com/post/621351027189350400/for-all-the-yoi-fanfic-authors) But since it did, I decided to make a part two, sort of? It's not gonna be about mistakes in fanfiction, but more about things English-speaking authors don't mention simply because they don't know they exist.

I’ll give you the general info and then maybe throw some thoughts about how specific YOI characters would relate to that info in my personal opinion.

HOLIDAYS. We have a lot of those TBH, but I'll mention the most important ones - the ones for which we have official days off. I mean, yeah, you can find a list of those in Wikipedia, if you want, but it doesn't actually tell you the reality of things. I've already mentioned the New Year in the previous post, so let’s skip it.

23rd of February is the Defender of the Fatherland Day. It's actually for those who served in the army, but the tradition is to congratulate everyone who's male. Must have something to do with the fact that on 8th of March we have an International Women's Day, when we congratulate everyone who's female. Doesn't really make sense to me, since, you know, there are women in the army too. And a lot of men haven't served a day in their life, what the hell do I have to thank them for? (Here's an example: my dad used to be in the navy, submarine's captain actually, and every year when I congratulate him, he says something along the lines of "Why? There was no war conflict when I served". That's him being humble, but still, the point is there).

ANYWAY! We're not very big on celebrations of these two holidays, most of the time you just give a call to your respective male/female friends and relatives, give flowers to the ladies and just... enjoy your day off?

 Next one is the May holidays. Those are usually on the 1-3 of May, the official name (as Wiki states) is "The Day of Spring and Labour". Honestly, no one uses it lol We just say "the first May holidays" (since we also have the second, that's how much we don't wanna work in May; kinda ironic the holiday is called "the day of labour").

You don't congratulate anyone on this day, usually you just have a couple of days off. If we're lucky, the weather would be nice and then people go to the countryside to have a (oh my god, this is gonna be a mouthful) SHASHLYKI. We'll get back to this thing, and you know why? Since if you want someone to embrace the real Russian culture, you would make them go to shashlyki, trust me.

 The second May holiday is the Victory Day, and it's kinda... controversial in a way. It is a big celebration for the victory in World War II. Soviet Union suffered a lot during the war with the Nazi Germany, St. Petersburg was under the siege for more than TWO YEARS. And this holiday is both somber and happy since thanks to our ancestors we survived this hell and are now able to live in peace. The celebration is pretty big on official levels - there are military parades everywhere, concerts, people thank the war veterans (there are precious few of them left by now). When I was still in school, they made us visit those parades every year. Guess what? I've never been to a single parade since I graduated. It's not that I don't value the heroism of people who fought in WWII, it's that I think our government uses this holiday to brag how great we are (or, rather, THEY are), 'cause they haven't done anything worth of praise since 1945, which is... depressing, when you think of it. The ridiculous thing is the parade was canceled this year due to coronavirus, but GUESS WHAT? They've used BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to still have it on 24th of June. While the rate of people getting sick is still abnormally high. All because on the 1st of July we're having a vote on the constitution amendments and our government needs an extra boost in patriotism from our people (should I mention some of the amendments are homophobic? Yeah, it sucks).

Well... that was a rant completely offtopic lol. But, you know, this is the opinion of the most people below the age of 35. Also a huge problem here in Russia. Anyway, as I was saying. Used to be a really great holiday where we thanked the veterans and were reminded of the price they paid. Now it's just a sad excuse for the government to waste money sigh

So, a day off. Some fireworks, a hell lot of traffic problems due to parades. Not much else, if you're from the younger generation.

 Same thing goes to the 12th of June. Officially a "Russia Day", but since up until the point I graduated from the uni I had summer holidays, I barely even acknowledged the holiday, cause I didn't have to study/work anyway. So like... I lived my whole life here in Russia, and I have no idea why we celebrate this holiday on the 12th of June. I can google it right now, but that kind of would contradict my point here lol.

The last one is on the 3-4 of November. I think it's called something like "Unity Day", but, again, no idea why. Most of the time we just call it "the November holidays" or even "fall holidays". Honestly, most of the time we just care about the days off, especially if the holiday is supposed to be "patriotic". (When I put it like this, we kinda sound like assholes. Probably cause we are lol).

Birthdays mainly depend on the specific person. I used to love my birthdays and it was a big holiday for me when I was a kid, but then I turned 18 and it kinda lost its charm. You still celebrate it, especially if the date is something like 30, 35, 40, 45 and so on. But it gets less and less exciting over the years. I gather my friends at home and just have drinks, my fiance goes to a bar on his birthday. Not very... celebratory, ya know?

So. YOI characters. ALL OF THEM would definitely celebrate New Year. They would probably send some congratulations on 23rd of February and 8th of March. It you think of the Russian rinkmates as friends, they can go the countryside together on the first May holidays, but not actually do anything on the Victory Day (Yakov may attend the parade since he’s from the older generation). Nothing specific to do on 12th of June or November holidays, most likely the rink would be closed, so, like, just a day off.

  And now to the important stuff. SHASHLYKI. Oh my god guys, I’m so excited, cause this is one of those things that is AWESOME in Russian culture. And also makes most of the foreigners really confused. But it has some similarities with the American barbeque gatherings, I think.

First of all, many of us live in big cities (like I live in St. Petersburg for example), but we still have countryside houses. Sometimes it’s where our grandparents live, sometimes we buy it specifically. The thing is – we usually go to these places we call “dacha” to have some rest from the noise of the big city and enjoy the fresh air. Usually dachas have gardens, my mom is crazy about all this greenery stuff (I personally don’t see what’s the big deal with taking care of the plants, but I was told it comes with age ;D).

And to enjoy the experience even more we have shashlyki. It’s usually grilled meat (chicken, pork, whichever you prefer) and vegetables, but the process is what makes it really fun. Most families have their own recipes for marinated meat, you prepare it beforehand. Then, on the day, you make some snacks (salted pickles and fresh vegetables come to my mind immediately; pickles are like a must-have, it’s almost an obligatory food since it goes really well with vodka lol). While some of the people sit around the table, have drinks and catch up, there’s usually one person responsible for grilling meat. And this process is very important – it’s gotta be cooked on the brazier with actual flame (or, more like, coals). You put pieces of meat on a metallic skewer and then grill it (I think there’s the word “kebab”, but we usually use it to describe an entirely different meal, so, shashlyk it is). And let me tell you – having a freshly grilled shashlyk with some vegetables and a drink like wine (or vodka if you’re into it) is the best feeling in the world.

So you’re enjoying the fresh air, really tasty meal, have some drinks with family or/and friends. A pretty common thing (not for everyone, but I personally love it) is having someone play the guitar and sing songs around the campfire. The songs we sing are usually either stupid or old, and you would never just casually listen to those on your own, but when the time comes and you sit with the guitar, somehow EVERYONE knows the lyrics. The point is to have fun, not make a concert out of it :)

I actually think that Victor and the rest of the gang would at least try to give Yuuri (and other non-Russians, who knows) this kind of experience. I also headcanon someone (Otabek or maybe Victor himself) knowing how to play the guitar. But I wouldn’t trust Victor with the grilling, honestly, it requires a lot of attention, and… well… you all know what Victor is like ;D

  And since we’re on the topic of music, let’s discuss it. Me and a dear friend of mine @clarie-foster, who also happens to be both Russian and a YOI fan, had a lot of headcanons on this.

What you need to know, is when it comes to music, here in Russia we’re pretty flexible. The popular music is the one you can here everywhere, it’s on European and American charts, like, I dunno, Beyonce, Ed Sheeran, Gaga etc. There’s Russian pop-music and, honestly, it sucks lol. Most of the time I listen to it cause it’s dumb and catchy. There are some good artists, of course, I can throw you a couple of name bands like “Ночные Снайперы”, “Сплин”, “Би-2”, but the songs are in Russian, and although the lyrics are pretty damn good, they’re kinda hard to understand if you don’t know the language (I mean, just reading the translation won’t give you the whole experience). And those bands are… depressing? In a way? Not that the songs are extremely dark or something, but you kind of listen to those in a melancholic mood. Me and one of my best friends used to go out on the balcony in summer, sit wrapped in a blanket and listen to those songs. Great experience, if a little sad.

BUT. There’s the old pop-music. We have some of those artists, who were really popular when my parents were young and somehow still popular these days. Their music is honestly average – the tunes might be catchy, the lyrics are mediocre at best, but… when you have a little bit to drink, you get in that mood, where you start singing those old pop-songs. And it’s not like listening to ABBA or, I don’t know, A-ha, since those are classic and still good these days. Russian pop-songs SUCK, they’re horrible, but somehow that is the best kind of music when you’re drunk.

I personally think Victor is one of those people who would totally jam to the old Russian pop. It’s funny, since most of it is from female singers (There’s literally a song from a Russian singer Irina Allegrova called “Go crazy, wild empress”, no kidding). I just can picture him so clearly being drunk and singing those old songs with abandon lol.

Mila would probably join him while laughing hysterically. Georgi too, since he’s a drama queen. And Yuri would make all kinds of disgusted faces.

 Two facts which I have never seen being mentioned in fanfiction, which is really weird. So Victor lives in St. Petersburg, as we all saw from those last scenes in the anime (in the background you can see actual places from St. P like our sports stadium). And St. Petersburg is mostly known for two things: bridges and white nights.

WHITE NIGHTS OH MY GOD. I don’t want to go to deep into the details since I don’t really understand the nature of this thing (something to do with sun not really going down? I dunno), but in summer, especially in June and July it basically doesn’t get dark in St. Petersburg. I mean, the sun does go down, you can see the sunset and everything, but the sky stays like… white-grey, almost as though it’s midday, just cloudy. Like we’re in the middle of white nights right now, and the darkest hour is around 1 am, but even then it doesn’t really get dark at all. A lot of people from other cities and countries get confused by it, like, there was this time when Stephen Colbert was a guest on a Russian talk-show and he had a hilarious convo with the host. It was something like this: “So I’ve been in St. Petersburg for one day. It has lasted for 46 hours. Please tell me if the sun will ever go down, ‘cause I’m going crazy”.

For us common people white nights can get really annoying, if your curtains are not black-out, you can have a hard time falling asleep (since, you know, it’s too freaking bright outside). But it’s actually really great for late-night walks and is considered really romantic.

And, speaking of romantic, the bridges! What’s so special about those, you’d think. So St. Petersburg is built on the river Neva – it’s like really big, has a lot of tributaries and distributaries and flows through the whole city. Hence why we have tons of bridges.

And those bridges are drawing bridges, meaning they are separated in the middle by a special mechanism and are being lifted in the air so that the trade ships can pass underneath them. The most impressive one is the Palace Bridge – it’s one of the main sightseeing spots in the city. For most tourists it’s obligatory to visit St. Petersburg and see the drawing of the Palace Bridge. It happens at night, around the time of 1 am or 2 am. It’s really pretty, cause there are lights everywhere, you can see the ships passing by and the view of this huge structure being lifted in the air is really magnificent. Combine it with the white nights and you’ll have one of the most romantic dates you can have here in Russia.

(On the more realistic and depressing note: despite the drawing of the bridges being really beautiful, it’s SUCH a pain in the ass for the regular people. Like, because of the drawing you can’t really get from one side of the city to another. For example, I live in the northern part and if for some reason I couldn’t get to it from the center of the city before the drawing of the bridges, I’m stuck till like 4 or 5 am. Subway only opens at 6 am, and although we have a couple of bridges which never draw, those are on the outskirts of the city, so taking an uber and driving there would cost you a lot of money and also would take like and extra hour or so. Thankfully, the drawing of the bridges lasts only from April to October-November, while the ship navigation on the Neva river is possible).

Last, but not least, SOCIAL MEDIA.

So, like, Instagram is pretty popular in Russia and so is Twitter. But what people rarely mention is our own social media site – Vkontakte (www.vk.com, if you’re interested). It started to become popular in like… 2008, I think? Basically it used to be and knock-off from Facebook, even the color scheme is the same. It became more and more popular over the years, since Facebook was never really a thing in Russia (like, I had a profile there, but I’ve never used it). Now it’s like… if you don’t have a VK profile, it’s super weird lol. I communicate with most of my friends through it, since it has a lot of really cool features: chats, group chats, communities, music, videos and photos. It’s gotten so big that VK even hosts its own music festival each year with a lot of popular Russian artists.

Victor is a social butterfly, so he would definitely have a VK profile. So would Mila, Yuri and Georgi, I personally think most of their communication would be through it. Maybe they would even force Yuuri to create a profile, but he’s not really into social media much, so he wouldn’t really use it.

 I think that’s it for now. Like I said, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, I would be happy to answer! ;)

#yoi #yuri on ice #yuuri on ice #victor nikiforov #viktor nikirofov #yuuri katsuki #victuuri #viktuuri #yuri plisetsky #mila babicheva #georgi popovich #and all this russia-related stuff

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SO Watches Friends 1x01-1x03

Apparently, it’s been 25 years since Friends aired - and I’m seeing all these articles on it, how it was the greatest ever, how it sucked, how apparently the youngins are discovering it on Netflix.  

So - I felt like, what they hey, I haven’t seen it in years, and I need to watch something while I have meals, so let’s see how well this show holds up.  

Pilot - The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (because how else is she going to pay for that apartment.) 

It’s funny to me that this was the hot new show of the time.  Because these people are... incredibly boring.  The beginning montage is them sitting in a cafe talking about random boring things for what appears to be hours, then they go home and watch TV.  This seems to be what they do on the weekend.  I mean, I realize in the early 90s there wasn’t /that/ much to do - but still, they live in NYC, and most of the stuff they do on this show will be sitting around doing nothing.  

So, let’s break down these characters, shall we? 

Rachel - It’s her wedding day, but she skips out on her wedding because she didn’t love her fiance.  I think this is supposed to be funny?  While I do think, in general, all of the characters are more relatable (and nicer) than in later in the series, she’s such a weird amalgamation of what the writers (or network?) thought would be relatable? I mean - she’s kind of dumb, and rich enough that money isn’t a problem, and her family values are set back in the 50s - hence her getting married so her husband can support her instead of her father.  

I get where the character is coming from - but while it might have been more of a progressive stance at the time -- it seems like a relic now.  

Monica - Who is the most together one of them at the moment.  I like early Monica, tbh, who appears intelligent (for the most part).  They’ll later take her quirks and make her a neurotic nutjob - but I can appreciate her mature nature right now.  

She goes on a date with Paul the Wine Guy - and again, it shows just how boring these guys’ lives are that they’re standing around her apartment with nothing better to do than to cheer her on about her date.  Is this what people in ther 20s did in the early 90s? I was much too young to know.  Anyway - Paul the Wine Guy is an asshate who uses lines to get Monica into bed.  The network thought this would make Monica sleezy.  I’m so glad times have changed enough that we can look back and be glad we can see that it’s really Paul the Wine Guy who’s sleezy, and that there are faster ways to figure out if a guy is a creep or not.  

Phoebe - Phoebe has absolutely nothing to do in the pilot other than be there and be weird.  I much appreciate it - because this show would be utterly boring and devoid of any quirky elements if she wasn’t there.  Also - Lisa Kudrow sells the comedy while most of the rest of them (minus Matthew Perry) seem to be just reading the script. 

Joey - I have no idea what Matt LeBlanc is trying to do here.  Is he doing a NYC Italian accent?  Is he trying out for a part? He’s kind of the most cringy during the Pilot but at least that’ll go away quickly.  

I don’t have a whole lot to say about Joey, he and Chandler are like two halves of the same character at the beginning, both with little development.  But - funny enough, maybe it’s age, I found myself agreeing with Joey during the whole dishing out life advice thing to Ross -- there’s no such thing as soul mates or destiny, get out there and live life :P 

Chandler - Like Phoebe he doesn’t have much to do other than make quips.  Granted - he did have some of the best, genuinely funny lines of the episode.  Matthew Perry’s comedic chops as well - and it’s a shame there is much Phoebe and Chandler stuff on the show.  

Anyway, the writers originally toyed with making Chandler gay, which I find a shame, I think that would have worked so well.  And added some diversity to this really, really non-diverse cast.  I completely understand why this makes lists of ‘Things Straight, White, and Loosely Christian People Like’.  25 years later, it’s incredibly glaring.  Even Saved by the Bell, which was ending its run at the time, managed to be more diverse. 

Ross - I’m curious as to when Ross becomes that one Friend whom everyone hates.  He’s recently divorced (from a woman who figured out she was a lesbian) and being really mopey about it (which, you know, is understandable).  I don’t particularly like or dislike Ross at the moment.  

I will say the whole Ross and Rachel thing is telegraphed from a mile here, and it’s weird that they’re going to drag this romance out for an entire season and a half when he literally asks her out at the end of the episode, and she says yes.  Why, why, why is this going to be dragged out so much.  (I know the reason - sweeps week - but still.)  

Is the episode entertaining? Eh.  It still has a lot of the trappings of an 80s sitcom - the annoying laugh track, the forced jokes, the surface level stories - only it’s new and hip because 20-somethings had never had a show to themselves without an older mentor around.  At the same time, there isn’t anything that remarkable about any of these 20-somethings, which may or may not have been the point.  I suppose we’ll see.  

The One With the Sonogram (of Ross’s baby that he’s having with this lesbian ex-wife) at the End

This episode is merely a continuation of all the threads set up in the pilot.  You can tell Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe aren’t developed yet, as they really don’t do anything other than crack one-liners at opportune times.  I shouldn’t complain that these characters just don’t feel like they’re getting enough time together as a group (because obviously, there are a ton more episodes to go where they are) but I feel like they’re spending too much time in individual plot lines that aren’t that interesting. 

Plot A) Ross finds out that his ex-wife (who’s a lesbian) is having his baby (because apparently they did it one more time after she left him? Idk), and he’s not doing so well with that.  Idk - I don’t hate this plot line.  For being the early 90s, the show is treating being gay with much more respect than pretty much everything before that (even if the idea of lesbians is treated as a joke rather than a serious thing people are).  At least the gay stuff isn’t villainized.  

Plot B) Rachel gives back the ring to her ex-fiance, whom she finds out was fooling around with her maid of honor.  This is the first time we meet Barry, and everything about him screams douchebag.  There’s nothing remotely interesting here, and it almost feels obligatory for Rachel’s story.  Also - I find it ridiculous that he and Rachel would be having private conversations with a (child) patient there.  

Plot C) We meet Monica and Ross’s controlling and judgmental parents who prefer Ross to Monica.  While Elliot Gould and Christina Pickles are both fantastic actors - I cannot with the amount of judgy-ness that spews forth, and really can’t wait for them to be the quirkier people they eventually become.  

Oh- and I forgot, this show decided for the beginning of season 1 to have these philosophical discussions about the differences between men and women, and I feel like this episode is supposed to loosely tie into that and I kind of roll my eyes and am like -- just be the situational comedy that you’re meant to be.  

Is this episode any good? Eh, not really.  There are some funnier moments in an otherwise bland and obligatory story.  

The One With the Thumb (in a can that Phoebe almost drinks)

This episode is so boring that it’s almost tedious to get through all 22 minutes of it.  Here we go! 

Plot A) Monica dates a guy named Alan that everyone likes but she doesn’t and she finds it hard to break up with him.  

I get what the writers were going with here - that she’d have to tell her friends that they need to ‘break up’ with Alan, despite them all really liking him.  Idk - I don’t think the whole schtick is that funny, and feels pointless when we barely get to meet Alan himself.  

I do have to note that Monica talks with one of her coworkers - who is the first PoC on the show, a black woman.  But we’re never going to see her again, so...? 

Plot B) Chandler starts smoking again - and we get a PSA plot line about the dangers of smoking.  Friends is rarely going to be a preachy show, and it’s super weird when it is.  It’s especially weird that it’s centered around smoking because -- who cares? 

Plot C) Phoebe accidentally has good things happen to her.  It’s almost like a running joke more than a plot line that ends with her ending up with a thumb in a can that nets her $7000.  It’s... just a really dumb sitcom plot line.  But, hey, we learn that Phoebe hangs out with homeless people.  And, the episode gets a point for tying all three plot lines together at the end.  

So... I’ll probably do these three or four at a time.  And the first three?  Eh, not great.  It’s fascinating that this show became such a hit right off the bat - because there’s not anything uniquely interesting about any of these characters yet.  And the plot lines are all so generic and/or dumb that there’s little to latch on to.  

We’ll see how this goes.  

#friends #so watches friends