#my love for this kind of men is real

[natelia-aldelliz]

"What if I fade?"

Soap lifts his head from his journal, looking up at Roach who is eerily floating near the ceiling. The slow movements almost make him look like he's in water. Kind of ironic given the way he died.

"What do you mean?" he asks, confused.

"What if I move on, what if I disappear," Roach elaborates, refusing to meet his eye. "Not everyone is a ghost, right? We'd be overly crowded. The fact that we're not also means that not every ghost stays."

Soap forces his dry throat to swallow. He honestly didn't want to think about that. He still needs Roach, he probably always will, but he hasn't even told him that he - he takes a deep breath in to calm himself.

"I don't know how it works," he admits quietly, bouncing his leg absent-mindedly. "You're probably right, like most of the time. Even if I really want you to be wrong about that."

Roach finally looks towards him.

"Maybe I should move on," Roach whispers. "It's not healthy, Johnny. You have no idea the things I want, what I wish for, that I'll never get."

Soap doesn't stand up, just keeps staring into Roach's eyes.

"I think I might have an idea, actually," he whispers back. Roach flounders for a moment. Soap really wishes he didn't get that wrong. He's pretty sure Roach meant that he can't have Ghost, and he himself can't have Roach. So... It's pretty similar.

"I've been feeling less like myself recently," Roach insists, deciding to ignore that comment for now. "I find myself wishing one of you would die so I wouldn't be alone. I never thought like that before, I fear that I may have stayed too long, that I'm starting to lose myself."

And he looks scared. It's written on his features so clearly and it breaks Soap's heart.

"You're not alone," he swears. "I'm here with you, and I'll make sure you stay you, however I can."

Roach looks at him, examining his face, looking for... something. Whatever it is, he seems to have found it because he exhales through his nose like a very soft laugh and averts his eyes, almost... blushing? It's a bit hard to tell from the distance and his left cheek being covered in burns while his right is covered in freckles, but he's pretty sure his ears are red.

"You can't look at me like that, Johnny," he says almost coyly. "I can't do anything about it, it's not fair."

Soap's face is burning and his eyes are wide. Was he too obvious? Did Roach understand or is he joking?

They probably look stupid, both of them redder than a fire truck, avoiding the other's eyes, regretting their words. Or at least he supposes that it's what's happening, because he's sure not looking up.

"If it makes you feel better," Roach finally says, sounding like he's smiling, "you were right for once : I am right most of the time. Judging by your reaction, you did indeed have no idea what I want."

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #gary roach sanderson #soaproach #roachghost #ghostsoap #ghostsoaproach #they're in love and stupid #more necromancer!soap and ghost!roach wooo #accidental necromancer soap and ghost roach au #i like writing the angsty parts but just imagine the happy ending from the other posts it's what i do bc i can't do no happy ending #anyway yeah that was supposedly their love confession but they're repressed military men so after that they ignored it for a few days #and then they accepted that they were actually in love and the shenanigans started again #this is the kind of love triangle that i like where all three are in love with the other two but think they're the only one like that #and then they realise that no they're just dumb and they're all in love and all ends well and they're happy ever after #roach : anyway now that we're talking about love - you're in love with my boyfriend and he's in love with you now make a move finally pls #roach : it's not that fun anymore watching you squirm; that's not the kind of squirming i want to see you do #roach : and simon will take care of that real easily so please go confess already #soap : O////O wh-what?

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

disappears off the face of the earth and reappears just to say hey have you guys seen this show?

#you guys should watch this show #lidia poët on netflix it's so delightful #usually like faux feminist historical shows really grate on my nerves but this one was genuinely a good time #maybe because it's funny #or the relationships are all really delightful between the eponymous lidia poët and everyone around her #or maybe im just gay #i wont deny it plays a role #the OUTFITS #also i think theres this like needle to thread is that the idiom when you make a story about like a real life woman who faced sexism #bc like you need conflict to have a story but sometimes that leads to the woman in question just constantly being beaten down #you know what i mean? #sometimes it feels like that #but i think this one does it well #i think bc like lidia faces all the sexism every time she steps out of the house #and also inside the house from her brother and sister in law #but she also has people - men - who love and support her..........disobedience #i think thats well balanced i think thats why it works #also shes just great #funny and obstinate but also kind #theres one moment i wanted to put in the video but couldnt find the right place for #actually two #one where shes talking abt a client to her brother and shes like 'shes an anarchist and a bit of a bitch but shes also innocent' fghjkgh #another time shes talking to her niece abt her crush lorenzo and shes like 'you can tell me. as a lawyer i offer confidentiality' #and her niece is like 'technically youre not a lawyer anymore' #and lidia is like '......bitch. theres nothing wrong with liking him you know' #it's just really cute hgkghh i love the relationships she has with literally everyone in her life #if you wanna watch it for like the lawyer thing you can skip it theres no lawyering being done really #because shes not allowed in court rip #shes more like a bit of a sherlock holmes #you know like the american one with the female watson whats it called.........elementary

[zhalar]

people really look at stede and think he would get better mentally and be more compelling as a character/human being within universe if he was More Masculine are you Insane ?

#(LIGHTHEARTED) #that man liked to pick FLOWERS and was RIDICULED FOR THIS #I JUST THINK HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO RECLAIM THOSE INTERESTS AND THIS DEPTH OF HIMSELF & BE CELEBRATED FOR EM ! ! #like. idk. sorry this is a vague catty post outta nowhere i justtt I DONT KNOWWWW i like it when hes frilly and foppy and feminine. awwgh. #what the hellll. what kinda fucked up mr. bonnet senior shit was that 'i hope he becomes like a REAL manly man' sentiment b4 s2 started :-/ #särmäs sermons #stede cant be anything but himself and the himself that he is is the type of captain who has a mum-vibe to him and likes fancy fabrics #there's more someone wiser than me could say abt this matter but im not going to bother trying to #i'll enjoy fanworks of all sortsa spectrums in regards to his character dont get me wrong but ive just like. noticed. how much i prefer #him as a more feminine kind of guy. SHRUGS. is this me poking at a hornets nest lol i hope not #also. cuz anxiety eats my brain. i love you masculinity i love you queer masculinity i love you men. this isnt a favoritism issue for me #im just thinkin my thots <3 #ofmd

[synintheraven]

Season 1 Ragnar vs Season 3 Ragnar

Sir, I'll bring your daughter home by 7 p.m. vs Your daughter calls me daddy too

#sorry not sorry about the smaller text look what I've become #clearly on his 30s but no face tattoo Ragnar is Baby Ragnar 😌 #I love orange/fire lightning on him #but also #he was like choose me Guthrum!!! I'm a WARRIOR!! #btw what kind of Lord wears the exact same outfit for YEARS #as for season 3 Ragnar idk he looks exactly the same but with makeup and the tattoo looks great on him #plus I love guys with tattoos 😏 #I like my men with eyeliner like a real Vikingr!! #lmao #my edits #tlk edits #the last kingdom #ragnar the younger #ragnar ragnarsson #young ragnar #tobias santelmann

[born-to-lose]

Was finally back at the bar last Saturday after three weeks of being sick

#it was karaoke night!! but i still had a sore throat and came kinda late so i decided not to sing this time #it was so fun tho and i got tipped €60 even tho my shift was only 6 hours and it wasn't really crowded #it was so sweet how everyone was happy to see me again since i had to skip halloween and my two previous shifts 😭😭😭 #my boss said 'heyy melissa high five great to see you' and complimented my shirt and his wife was like 'risen from the dead! welcome back' #and the girl i hadn't worked with before but who i've seen at meetings and concerts immediately hugged me and was so nice to me #i wondered why she sang along so enthusiastically to 'männer sind schweine' by die ärzte until i found out her husband suddenly left her #with three little kids!! 🙄 one of them has cancer and now she suddenly has to find an affordable apartment for the four of them #this is stressing me out so much how fucking dare he. men. our boss posted about it on facebook asking for help which is really kind of him #after we closed when the security guard jokingly suggested a new guy for her she said she's becoming a lesbian so welcome to the club ig #anyway don't we love it when guys suddenly dump you out of nowhere as soon as things start to get a lil rough. viva la lesbianism for real #my face #the bartender chronicles

[laniidae-passerine]

Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.

#like yeah there were a lot of things questionable about Snow even before he was chosen as a mentor in the games #but like. damn. you didn’t even consider the idea he could be better than his father did you? #the way kindness could have unravelled some of the hate in Snow’s heart #listen to me tell you the horrible things your father did. listen to me tell you that you can be different. you are not the past. #the divides between us do not truly exist. look at the weapon in your hand. it is real. and it can do real damage #but if you never hate someone - if they never fool you into letting violence into your heart - they can never make you use it #it breaks my heart. how could you hate a ghost so much that you’d kill a child. I don’t know. but the Dean does. and so does Snow. #the cycles run and run until somebody stops. and burns some bread. and shares berries. and takes an arrow. and says no more. I love you #it is difficult. it could hurt me. it could be the very last thing I do. it may not even serve me well. but I love you. I love. always. #how pathetic hate makes you. how strong love makes you. like staring at the Dean and staring at characters like Haymitch #like two substance abusing men who know the system inside out. who are complicit. who are victims. both embittered and angry. #but one saw a child and decided to punish him for the past #and the other saw a child and decided - okay. it’s been 23 years. my heart hurts. I want to give in. I want to hate you. I want to not care. #I’m going to care anyway. I’m in so much pain. It’s killing me. I’m going to care anyway. about you both. it won’t be perfect. but I care. #and I’ll be here through hell. and I will fuck up. so fucking badly. because I’m still addicted and angry and god knows I have suffered. #god knows these hands are bloody and they always will be. but I will keep coming back. I will keep trying. I will still love. #and in the end I will write names in a book that belongs to you and I will find a little bit of peace in a house where the sun shines #and the geese make ridiculous noises in the yard. and love will have seen me through. #HAYMITCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU MY IMPERFECT DARLING #dean highbottom #coriolanus snow #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #haymitch abernathy #thg #abosas #suzanne collins #SHE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

[cyberspacebear]

they're also one of my favorite duos LOL (naiden on top) but i meant in terms of like actually being kind of shitty people. get slime and nick on the mic and you will come up with one of the most morally deplorable and probably sexist bits possible but goddamn will it be gas

oh wait you are so right on that, they're way too comfortable. it's like everyone is laughing but sometimes you have to remember that being friends with a couple women and gays does not = infinite passes to cross the line

i do love nick and aiden as a duo though too. (i'm going to ignore the ship name and give you the benefit of the doubt that you mean it respectfully) honestly, aiden ends up enabling nick as much as slime does because he just crumples when nick starts saying shit. e.g. episode 141 and the milkshake premium, where nick is just going nuts and aiden is powerless to hold him back

#the yard #ask #this is going to be so out of pocket but i'm going to say it here in the tags: #slime and nick have always given chaser energy in opposite directions. #slime to mtfs and nick ftms #like we joke about nick having tboy swag but he kind of gives “guy who says he's pansexual to get in the pants of pre-hrt trans men” #I'M SORRY #but i'm fucking right #and real matrix-seeing yard trannies will know what i mean #slime is a more ethical chaser though in my mind because he would just want that /tttt/ girldick #ok i'm apologizing again that was rancid #tw t slur #i love anon asks because i get to be a fucking weirdo in the tags and i feel no responsibility to the sender #god the yard is so cool man

[just-bendy]

Do you like men

I like anyone who shows me affection and flirts with me which of course has included men in the past, so yes.

But if yer askin' if I'm attracted to men, then... well, I can appreciate a good dreamboat every once in a while. Good-lookin' is good-lookin', y'know?

#bendy #batim #batim bendy #ask #anon #(( finally this question #this is most likely a joke ask but his answer isnt #he doesnt care who flirts with him. hed go with anyone lookin to have some fun #did i put lookin instead of looking wow bendy is taking over me #anyway bendy doesnt care about gender when it comes to fun #he can enjoy... either... either uh.... i cant... continue this thought.... -///- #its just mostly women who go to him because hes so charming #at least thats what im thinkin #a smug and charming toon like that in the real world would realistically get a lot of that kind of attention i think #i dont like trying to be realistic but cmon i think it makes perfect sense in my head #would you smooch a toon? #i would smooch a bendy #what am i talking about #bendy can like men )) #(( this bendy frequents the bar and clubs because its a quick way to get some love.... is that appropriate enough.... #do i have to put a warning on my blog..? shrug #*link voice* ive never been to a club )) #(( dont think too hard about his response hed most likely default into talking about gals ))

[karinyosa]

one realization i’ve had is that a lot of the models for masculinity and/or manhood that i kind of gravitated to when i was younger were not the most typically masculine. it’s weird having things in common with other transmascs but also very clearly going for different things. like i feel a kinship with you but sometimes i think we’re not quite the same. also been a reminder of like what kid me was actually going for when i dressed and acted The Way i Did in middle school

#persolaise perfumes singlehandedly saved me by looking and acting like he does #the first video of his that i watched he was reacting to this scent that’d been marketed with the phrase ‘’for real men’’ #he was like put off but trying to give it a chance #and he made this joke about having lost his real man card a long time ago or something #and i was like HAAAAA . love you #me.txt #anyway i was watching this trans guy podcast and they were like averagely masculine men and it was like #hm i think we have different priorities kind of. like i have a feeling we wouldn’t completely relate kfhdkfn #it wasn’t a feeling of exclusion just an awareness of difference #they were talking specifically about wanting to feel manly and like had mildly sort of touched on and laughed about that in sort of #an inside joke way. and i was like WOW i like would not care about that at all. like i don’t think i’ve ever worried much about manliness #passing certainly but not that as far as i can remember #and it took me back to being weirdly drawn to like. floop from spy kids and people like that and i was like hm. there’s something there #i say that and then dress the way i do in my selfies kdbsksh #for me it’s more of a mannerism and presentation thing than anything else i think #like persolaise truly was a reminder that like. oh yes i can speak and act like that and dress fun and still be a man #truly it’s just that i was drawn heavily towards queercoded male characters like i think that’s a lot of it #i guess i have worried about manliness in some ways but it’s never really been something i’ve aimed for #the closest thing would be like. gentlemanly fkdhdknd #or something along those lines #anyway some men just click for me in terms of people i can kind of reference myself to and it’s like #often a pleasant surprise when it happens #alan cumming and persolaise are very much on that list #another essay in the tags

[arthur-r]

testosterone meeting complete?!?!?!?!???!!!

#it went well the doctor was so much better than any doctor i’ve met ever in my life #treated me like a human being?? was familiar with my pre-existing conditions?? #saw autism on my chart and just acknowledged it and moved on?? no ‘‘are you sure you’re trans you’re just a confused autistic kid’’ ??!! #i have an informed consent paper to look at now but it’s all stuff i’ve already researched #i have officially decided that T is more important to me than biological children so we got this #(i was already basically there but i had an anxiety spiral a couple months ago about freezing my eggs which i’ve confirmed was just anxiety #‘​‘just anxiety’’ i sound like a fucking evil doctor but like. intrusive-thoughts-anxiety vs thing-i-should-listen-to. i don’t want bio kids #the one thing i’m nervous about is my singing voice i wanna make sure i get some recordings in before my voice changes #cause my voice isn’t mine but i’ve sure worked hard on it shdhdf and it has a high pitched anxious quality to it that you can’t often find #shdhdhf i just feel like the voice i have now is more unique than wherever i’m gonna end up. and i really want to sound like my favorite cis #men musicians but i feel like my anxious songs just won’t hit the same if it sounds like some guy is singing them #so i’m gonna make some recordings within the next month to put out pre-T demo versions of my songs (real demos not what i’m always posting) #and then i’ll be ready. cause i want to sound like some weird shitty man SO BAD. please just let me be some off-key guy with voice cracks #TO BE CLEAR i would sure like to be a talented singer on testosterone. which has happened for one of my dearest friends and can probably #also happen for me. if i keep working on my voice all the time. BUT i would rather have a shitty low voice than a beautiful high one #which i did a lot of thinking about and grappling with since i’m a vocalist and it’s kind of really important to me #but half the male musicians i listen to can’t even hold a tune. so I CAN HANDLE IT #anyway!! i’m going to latin now!! and then i have work and then asexual club and then heading home and maybe laundry #i hope everybody has a good day and i love you dearly #me. my post. mine. #delete later #medical cw #(? ask to tag)

[lion-buddy]

being the resident nezuko liker is such a challenge sometimes

#ooo these tags contain complaining if u dont like that then see ya around <3 #i would love to scroll through the tag without being bombarded by. awfulness. both bot and fandom posted #yknow. yknow. that is a 12 yr old #it has become!!! genuinely frustrating! it always has been #and i dont mean to complain but. man. im just disappointed #and.while kinda begin the kny mascot she is barley present in fan made content. with meaning. and its all mostly reposted art ugh. #and even official stuff has her only as little child nezuko and!! i get it its cute whatever but it feel so pandery and wrong all the time #i just poitn. that is not her that is a facet u r choosign to hyperfocus on show me the real her #and lets be honest the og stroyline isnt kind to her etiher she is nonexistent after swordsmith #i remember for a time when idid post abt her i was one of the inly consistent nezuko artists who wanted to like. put her in scenarios #and i want reiterate again that drawing cute art and gifs of her is fine it doesnt hurt anyone. i love to see it actually #but like. in a fandom as big as this youd think. youd think they like her more!!!! but no #and. the last thing i want to insinuate is “if u dont like my fav character then u suck” cus thats is not how fandom content works. at all #fandom is a experience for u to cultivate for yourself. and sometimes it just comes up short!!! i guess #it jsut felt weird being lonely in your liking of an aspect of the series where there are so many ppl. yet they all only like the hot men. #which again. u do u. nothign wrong with it. its anime afterall. it can just be frustrating sometimes. #idk! im also not very social so maybe its just my fault but. man. id love to find some other resident nezuko likers that. isnt just shippin #i feel interacting would be so much easier if my fav was like. one of the main boys like everyone else. or i made ship content or somethin #but like i said fandom is for u and u only if that makes sense. the point is to create things u want to see. which is what i do and enjoy #just with nezuko specifcally. i dotn want to put my stuff of her in the tags anymore cuz i just. dont trust the fandom with her. its weird #but also. appreciate those who did interact. i hope ur all doing alright <3 ty for talkign with me :] #i just needed to get this out cuz its. kinda why i dotn post abt kny anymore. especially the s3 fandom im sorry i just dont vibe with it </

[providnce]

vent post

#some days i love indulging in the ✨fantasy✨ whenever i scream about my hot band men #but really it’s one big coping mechanism to run away from my own problems and feelings of loneliness and being unwanted #because if i project any kind of romantic/sexual fantasy on someone who doesn’t know i exist then i won’t have to deal with any sort #of rejection or face my fears of being intimate with someone #like i would a real person #that’s why i turn to parasocial relationships as a source of happiness because my real life’s been nothing but unsatisfying for me #which. is admittedly why i pretend their respective partners don’t exist LMAOOOO but it really is sad #fresa stfu #because this is obviously about yannis despite being a ventpost #but not entirely because i’ve been projecting self indulgent fantasies on MANY other band men before my foals obsession

[kethabali]

i dont really feel romance but i like the process of a relationship its nice to be cared for and uplifted on a daily basis.. i guess i just want people that love me and are verbal about it and are physically affectionate

#i want someone i feel safe and trust and we can hug and hold hands and maybe kiss.. #kind of like best friend but a little special #distinctive from my other friends #idk i just feel more lonely these days #and the weird thing is i have a friend now #jsut one that i trust but #before it was 0 #so progress 👍🏽 #i hope to make another one soon #🧃 #maybe once i understand how to foster healthy relationships i can find someone like this #but its not romance #feeling like someone expects romantic feelings from me makes me stressed #i have only been in 2 ~romantic~ relationships and both times after im like was that even real and i think its bc im aro #bc i did care and love for them both intensely but once the brain fog and grief passes i always am like i dont think that was romance #whether that could bc bc im just gay but i think its that and im aro #i would like men more but i still dont think i can develop romantic feelings for anyone #especially long term ones

[aeide-thea]

what if this year i gave up on even gesturing at ""passing"" and instead embraced the world of weird unisex natural-fiber garments available on etsy 🤔

#like. they have unisex wool so-called harem pants!! #(i want to do more reading abt different cultures' versions of men's/unisex drop-crotch pants but a ten-second google was weirdly unhelpful #(actual info drowned out by listicles basically. will have to find some real books or something) #(specifically i like when they're almost a triangle‚ as opposed to like‚ just really full-cut trousers that look more western) #i have gotten so much flack from my family over the years for liking that style of pant #(which like. okay. you think it's ugly. i get that but like. WHY do you think it's ugly.) #(is it perhaps possible yr taste has been shaped by western standards.) #and i stopped wearing the summer-weight pair i used to have when i started vaguely trying to pass #but like. lately my gender feelings are mostly 'i'm an agender gremlin creature and i'm gonna wear some androgynous clothes about it' #which mostly is like. men's joggers with a hoodie if we're being honest #also some baggy cargo pants with a hoodie. every once in a blue moon the hoodie gets swapped out for a baggy wool sweater. #but i gotta say i kind of love the idea of baggy dropcrotch pants (also with hoodie) #and now you tell me i can even get my winter wool freak on about it?? amazing. #anyway we'll see but i'm having fun looking at all the unusual-by-normative-western-standards woolens etsy wants to show me #feels good feels organic etc (but like. in many cases literally lmao) #sartorial #journaling

[timeisacephalopod]

I've kinda seen some pushback to the idea of representation in media and I don't necessarily think it's bad to point out actual rights are more important than Disney's thousandth first gay character that's fine, but I've had a LOT of people comment on my works about asexual characters and tell me what I wrote changed their life-and it's always that phrase- because they now have the language to describe what they feel. I've had people who ARENT ace or aro comment that what I wrote finally made a concept they didn't understand make sense, or that the way I explained things was interesting and enlightening and I'm kind of a mediocre writer who hasn't written anything in ages.

Like idk, if reading something from a writer who is fucking around and only somewhat talented can genuinely impact someone because they've not seen anything like them reflected back at them in life or media I don't think pushing for representation in media is as "needless" as some people seem to think and caring about that doesn't mean you don't care about more "important" (although if you think seeing people like you in media ISNT important it's because you already have that representation or are privileged enough to not care if you do, in which case maybe pipe down) stuff. Hell, I even got a Facebook message ages ago from someone who found a comment I left in an ace group about QPR's and what they meant to me and how I perceived them and the person no joke said what I wrote two years before they even found it changed their life forever because they finally knew what kind of relationship they actually wanted.

So like sure, of course there's always bigger fish to fry them diversity in media (you know, like diversity in real life lol) but I don't think it's as frivolous as some people are beginning to act like it is. At least not if you're an aspec person it's not, I STILL don't see ace characters almost ever and I'll bet my whole everything if I asked a writer of a show why they'd tell me that EVERYONE has to be in a sexual relationship and characters that aren't won't sell and are boring- I say this because in film school I had a teacher TELL ME every character needed to basically be sex obsessed and when I pointed out a GREAT MANY CHARACTERS are not revolved around sex (Supernatural stars two brothers, I pointed out) and when she asked if I had love interests I was like ??? That doesn't matter- using my aforementioned supernatural example almost all their love interests die or get mind wiped because at the end of the day that's not what the story was about. So actually I think writers who act like that teacher need like 50 reality checks, and representation in stories isn't unimportant and also support indie writers you'll probably find more funky shit there then Disney anyway lmao.

And also even the asexual characters I DO see in media don't remind me at all of myself even if I appreciate the effort, but they never feel real or genuine and their sexuality doesn't get a lot of exploration so 🤷🏻‍♀️ I actually could use more media focused on characters that I can genuinely see my sexuality reflected in in a meaningful and narratively impactful way because I've got nothing.

#winters ramblings #todd from bojack horseman im sure is SOMEONES version of asexuality but i dont see ANYTHING of myself in him #great character dont get me wrong but not relatable to me on any level including our shared sexuality #sex ed got a bit closer with their brief ace character although maybe she got more exploration in season three or four?? #the latest one i havent watched lmao. but being closer and having a moment wjere shes told shes not broken #while DEEPLY vindicating isnt necessarily all im looking for either #like i wamt a REAL character thats ace or aro or both thats written by people who UNDERSTAND what theyre writting #not just well meaning people who dont know what theyre doing its kind of tiring #also idk why theres no dating shows with gay men because reality dating shows are ALL ABOUT who fucks who and who gets together #gay men would be hooking up ALL OVER THE PLACE and the DRAMA youd think reality tv freaks would be SALIVATING #but no none of that lmao. just ru pauls drag race and thats great it is like its not my bag but people love it #back on yrack though the weord blowback representation is getting is strange and its VERY clear to me #the people writing those posts havent gotten dozens on dozens of messages from people like them who found their writing #and haf their life altered forever for the better because someone who KNOWS what theyre talking about wrote a character like them #and it opened doors they never knew existed. doesnt even need to happen with fiction either i had a friend i had in toronto #tell me the info i sent to her on being aromantic changed her life- THAT'S the phrase i keep getting thats TELLING- because it describefld #described** how shes felt her whole life but didnt have words for. how frivolous IS representation if im getting these messages? #not very i dont think if some rsndom indie fic writer who hadnt written anything substantial in years can change someones life #REPEATEDLY might i add. ive been getting a LOT of messages like this lately and seeing this new bramd of discourse latetly too #like maybe YALL have enough that you dont care anymore but speak for your fucking selves

[pennyserenade]

i ache for tigris snow because if the little boy who i loved more than anything and would do anything for turned into an evil dictator before my eyes i wouldn’t be able to breathe. she believed so much in what she thought was his innate goodness that she would’ve tossed her entire future out for him. she loved him dearly, to the point that she had sold her body so he could eat as a child. she wholeheartedly believed that he would save them with his intelligence, and she carried the weight of their family’s burdens so he wouldn’t have to. from his shirt to assuring him that she and their grandma’am were okay even after they had to sell the apartment, all she did was for coriolanus—and he turned into someone she hated, someone she wanted to die in the end. terrible

#misc. #this is actually my real and true living nightmare #and idk i think this dynamic was important bc it broached a scary subject #it’s something we see happen in our every day lives. so many women i know know little boys who grew up to be terrible men #no matter what kind of rearing the women in their lives do. sometimes the forces outside of them are too strong #and it’s scary bc this is so so so so common especially now with the internet #the other day my nephew came home from school and told me he didn’t like girls #and he wouldn’t tell me he loved me for about a month and i understand that’s just children for you #but at the same time — how did that happen? #he’s a wonderful child. the Best. the thing i’m most proud of #and yet it got to him too. it’s terrible #he’s back to saying i love you almost on a minute to minute basis now lol but it’s just awful to think abt