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#my mental illness is showing... ha.. haha.... ha..... 😭
frecklystars · 6 days
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I know stsc isn’t one of your main f/os anymore, but I was binging TFP while putting together a cosplay and every time he popped up, I just thought “yeah this is what he does when keri isn’t around.” sorry if that’s weird T-T but your s/i feels like a part of the show to me now
Aww... thank you for saying that. That's not weird, that's sweet 😭😭 wow I'm gonna cry
I miss my starlight so bad. I'm really touched you still think I'm a part of that world. I feel like a part of my heart is still "in" the TFP universe and stuck there, even though it hurts so bad. but it was my greatest comfort I've ever had, and I have had sooo many amazing experiences and opportunities because of TF, it's going to take me a really long time to fully let go of it. but I don't know what's better for my mental health: never touching it ever again (which I've tried since July 2023, it has NOT worked, in fact it has just made me more miserable) or I can try reclaiming it slowly over time (difficult asf I am literally physically ill every time I look at it or think of it). I feel like I can't win here lol. I'll uhhh.... I'll figure something out.
Learning how to make literally hundreds of these characters Not A Trigger Anymore is gonna be super fucking hard, but it's kind messages like this one that make me miss it the most. I don't want my view of TF to stay the same, I want to make it Better, I don't know how though. But nice asks like yours always make me want to do that. i'm a mess rn... "this is what he does when Keri's not around" I always used to think that too!!! haha I always used to think "aww my s/i is off in another dimension and he's committing crimes 🥰🥰" agh... I remember the Red Energon centered episodes were my favorite because I always thought of him making me that necklace from a shard of it. I still have it packed away in a box, I still have starflower seeds I never planted. I used to watch those episodes religiously and heave this big loving SIGH because the idea of him gifting me that and me saying "aw, that's so nice, ty" and he's like "...yes I'm being... nice" and he hisses it like it's a swear word... used to make me feel so good. that's when we'd become Official™. I had it all planned out... Rock Bottom was when we'd finally become friends, Operation BB episodes is when we'd start meeting in the starflower meadow... sometime around Armada we'd have this mutual pining thing going on...
;-; tell my Starlight and my Honeybee that I miss them more than anything and I will come home someday. please. and thank you so much for sending me this ❤
AGH you know what, I can put this under a readmore so I won't accidentally trigger myself with it if I see it tomorrow and I'm in a bad headspace or something. I miss him!!! look at him. ahh. he is everything to me even though its like there's this huge invisible force field around TF that makes me feel like I cannot touch it. he is so-- god. look at him. he's so beautiful. there is nobody I'm gonna love like i've loved him.
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i even remember when i made this gif, i was just. ahh. so full of butterflies. that feels so long ago. i miss him!! and!!! i am gonna get him back one day. i just don't know how. 😭 but god damn it ONE day!!!! we were engaged, damn it!!!
anyway. i'm so sorry to ramble holy shit. but thank you so much for thinking of me when rewatching TFP ;-; that means so much to me... makes me feel like I really am still meant to Be There, even if i'm so far away from it now. i was conditioned into believing my ship with him was just some foolish, stupid joke, like I've just been kidding myself for years and there's no way any of the robots wouldn't harm me or do horrible things to me, let alone love me. but this message suckerpunched me in the heart guts like a "hey wait a minute" kind of feeling. ok ok I'll shut up now. i love you anon.
also, your cosplay is gonna be absolutely amazing, i hope you have fun putting it together!!
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abiiors · 1 month
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Hiya,
I'm doing a presentation for my degree on audience theory in relation to the at their very best tour, it's due tomorrow so I know I've left this quite late 🥲
According to my lecturer, one question I need to develop a bit further for my argument is how a 1975 fan would 'identify' themselves and what qualities they might share?
Do you have any answers you could provide for this? Also if anyone else reading would like to share I'll take as many answers as I can get 😭😭
No pressure to answer, I'm aware I'm springing this on you haha
Also, any general reviews of at their very best (specifically the recorded show at madison Square garden) are welcome
Thanks vee!! :)
if anyone else wants to answer this too pls send @partoftheband04 an ask :)
hello!!
okay so about identifying as a fan -- out of all the fandoms i've been in, i've specifically seen this weird phenomenon for the 1975 which is that there's no "casual fan". you either hate the band/matty/their music or you're absolutely obsessed. there's no middle ground, which i genuinely can't say about a lot of other things.
i'd say there's no specific definition for a fan because it can't just be a certain group of people who, for eg, have seen them live, have collectible items, have met the members, have been in the fandom for a certain number of years etc etc. i'd rather describe it as someone who understands the context behind the music and understands the songs as opposed to just listening to them.
a good example would be "it's not living (if it's not with you)" because without the context it can be (and has been) mistaken for a love song. a lot of their songs have been mistaken for love songs when they're in fact about addiction/drugs etc. because matty's and the band's personal life drives their music so so much, i'd say a fan would be someone who has a good grasp of matty as a person (and i'm mostly saying matty here because he is essentially the spokesman for the band)
as for what i've seen in common amongst all the fans is the fact that majority of us seem to be a part of the queer community, majority of us seem to be politically aware and opinionated because the band's music is politically aware and opinionated. and like i know it's a joke at this point that you have to be mentally ill to be a fan of the 1975 but i think it's true because matty has been so open and honest about his own struggles with mental health. that's what makes a lot of people be comfortable about being open about their struggles too.
i can't really give you a specific review of the atvb show at the moment because it's been a while since i watched it :( and with watching satvb so much for the past few months all i can think about is how much the band has improved since their msg performance for atvb.
but yeah, i really hope this helps!!
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fapper · 4 months
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yall YALLLLL WHEN IT COMES TO MY INTUITION I JUST KNOW WHEN A GUY LIKES ME OKAYYYY AND YOU GUYS KNOW EVEYRTING THIS TA DID LIKE WE ALL DEDUCED THAT HE WAS COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR ME AND I EVEN LISTED OUT ALL THE REAOSNS HELP ME I THIN =K I WAS BEING GENUINELY MENTALLY ILL SINCE OCTOBER
flustered interaction in office hours - couldnt answer my question and whenever i looked at him he closed his eyes, smiled, and lowered his head, and gave up and said "dont tell anybody this but im just gonna show you the solution" with a blushed face - [DEBUNKED] HE WAS FLUSTERED AND EMBARRASSED BECAUSE HE COULDNT EXPLAIN THE PROBLEM TO ME
eye contact during review session - i caught him looking at me so he quickly looked away and then looked at me again and then looked away AGAIN and then SMILED. [DEBUNKED] it was JUST AN AWKWARD EYE CONTACT THAT DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING <3 he probably smiled bc why was my ass still staring back at him HELPPPP
prolonged help during office hours on zoom - when i said "okay im gonna make this question quick because i know theres like a million people waiting in office hrs" he said "noo haha its fine theres like, 6 TAs working tonight" [DEBUNKED] he answered this to be polite, WTF ELSE WOULD YOU SAY TO MY QUESTION BRUH "NO UR RIGHT, MAKE IT QUICK" ? 💀
awkwardness when passing each other on campus - one time i saw him w his friends passing by (i was also w a friend) he looked away with a huge grin on his face [DEBUNKED] he probably ignored me because he thinks im that girl who has an undying crush on him 😭💀
HE PROBABLY THINKS I WANT HIM SO BADDDD BUT NOOOO HELPP FSLJSL ITS NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL HELP ME UMMMM. WOWWWWWW
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lunargrapejuice · 5 months
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hi luna! hope you’re doing well <3
here’s a fun little question to distract you from the busyness of life :)
how would you and kaveh design your dream home together? you two seem like you would be inseparable, so when it comes to taking the next step and moving in together, of course he wants to know about all your opinions and ideas!
hi awea love🩷🩷🩷🩷
i have been doing good, thank you so much for checking in! i hope you've been doing well too🥰🩷
im so sorry for the late reply on this! i wanted to be on my computer instead of my phone when i answered this since i knew it would be a long one LOL i'll also put it under the cut for that reason too haha
i'm already a mess thinking about it sfkshdglkhd i just got off work too so im ready to be thinking about anything but work
kaveh and i are 10000% inseparable. we spent years apart always thinking of the other and wishing we could be together but neither of us thinking we were worthy of it and that surely it was insane, or the other would think it was, if he come back to liyue for me or if i moved to sumeru for him so for a long time there was so much distance between us until i moved to sumeru and we tried to just be friends but it wasn't long till our feelings came spilling out and we were both in tears over how much we've loved each other and that it had been that way since the moment we met. after meeting me in liyue and spending time with me, little things i said i liked or noted were beautiful in architecture he remembered, found himself including them into sketches when he just needed to create something for him and when we finally became a couple, that night he started working on the actual draft of what would be our forever home<3 he didn't tell me he was doing this but he continued to take mental notes of my likes and comfortabily basically anywhere we went and would try to not be obvious when he was wanting to know about something specific, he was totally obvious every time though hehe what a cutie when he finally showed me his latest draft of our forever home, the night after he purchased an engagement ring (though i didn't know that haha) i was a sobbing little baby. you could tell how much love and thought he put into every room and it was perfect, hints of liyue and the new place i called home, so bright and full, not too big but just right for us and even though he said there was still so much work to be done on it when it came time to actually make it come to reality, it had always been perfect
anyways now that story time is over i wanna tell you a bit about what he created for me hehe there are so many windows in our house, i love the natural light and he was sure no matter where i went i'd be able to be in it. he spent so much time on my little reading nook that's shared with his office and it's the place i spend most of my free time, big enough for him to come lay with me too when i no doubt fall alseep there. a beautiful library that leads into our backyard, with two book shelves reachinig the ceiling on two sides of the room and another where he paints and sketches, a bathtub that easily fits the two of us and then some and deep enough to actually cover my whole body lol. the kitchen is so full of love and yummy spices and has a little greenhouse attached to the side of it where i grow herbs and such and there’s always room for both of us to be cooking i could go on but im afraid ill never shut up fjdjdjd
thank you so so much for asking babes 😭🩷 i was so warm & fuzzy over this hehe
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I’m getting so excited for my show but I’m started to get nervous about camping on my own now. Not for safety reasons, but the socializing aspect of it. It seems like everyone has friends/groups out there with them with full set ups. I was gonna raw dog it with a blanket, pillow, a portable charger 😭
My moms coming with me and we got a hotel that’s literally 70ft from the venue so she can walk over and take my spot if I need to go to the bathroom or get food for a minute, but otherwise I’m on my own.
I’m also undecided on if it’s even worth it to camp for barricade, since it seems like people are getting pretty good spots turning up a few hours before doors (and I’m going to Charlotte, a show that the usual barricade group aren’t going to be at), plus the addition of the b-stage. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how soon the line starts. If it comes down to it I can do 18 hours max but I’m gonna feel real silly if I sit out there for almost an entire day when it wasn’t really necessary.
awwwww. Babe I’m so glad you have your mom with you that’s so cool!!
I know what you mean though. I’m slightly nervous myself. My social anxiety can get overwhelming sometimes. But honestly the 1975 fans are some of the coolest most chill people ever. I’m sure that they’ll be king and inclusive. also like the odds of other shy people being there are great. After all we are all sexy intelligent mentally ill people. The person in front of or behind you could be just as scared. Maybe you can comfort them and include them? You could make friends that way! I’m really pushing my comfort zone by going at all tbh hahah. But idk. This fandom has generally made me a better person so it could be good haha.
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starleska · 1 year
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Hello! I'm one of the people who made a request and I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have taken from granted that you write for everyone, haha- This... Is embarrasing- Don't worry at all and thank you for let us know how requests make you feel! Again, I'm so sorry if seeing so many requests made you stressed, I didn't mean to contribute to that uneasiness! If you are okay with sharing headcanons though, please let me know! I have a few in store that may be of your interest, hehe! Again, if you are not okay with that either it's also totally okay! Have a lovely day! 💘
😭😭😭😭😭 oh angel, thank you so much!!! but please, don't feel any need to apologise - you haven't done anything wrong, neither has anyone else!! i promise 🥰 i really, really appreciate that you spent the time to send in a request, and doubly so for being so kind and considerate and responding! i'm gonna get a little bit personal under the cut;;
honestly, don't worry yourself at all - this is totally a me problem. i reckon a lot of mentally ill fandom creatives can relate to this: trauma stuff i won't get into can manifest in compulsive people-pleasing, even in spaces that are supposed to be stress-relieving, like fandom! when i used to run that other blog, i would spend hours making content that i didn't really want to make. you end up creating because it makes others happy, so you feel useful, and as an apology for existing: like, a living tax. and that is not a healthy way to live 💖 one of the hardest things you learn in therapy is that you are ultimately in control of your own boundaries, and you don't have to reply to anything online. you don't have to answer an ask, or fill out a request, or participate in a prompt, or make a gift, or give your opinion on a specific topic...yet, it's still so tough to let go of the idea that you're being rude if you say no to a request. but it's never a personal slight! all of the asks in my ask box right now are full of so much love, and passion, and creativity, and i often wish i was one of those people who pumps out ten drabbles a day and can fulfil everyone's deepest, darkest fantasies. but i've been down that road, and it just...isn't for me 😅 i've spent years crafting what i think most will agree is a wholly self-indulgent space, where i get to gush about whatever weird-ass fictional show or character seizes the autism in the right way. that makes me really happy, and it makes me even happier knowing that other people are drawn to it 🥰 i really love interacting with people who have similarly strange interests - and i came in expecting 'Big' Jack Horner to be another niche choice (oh, how wrong i was 😂). i will admit the times where i've accidentally created content for a hugely popular character (looking at you, Warren the Eagle) i have become overwhelmed quickly by the sheer volume and demand. however - this burnout it something i have to manage. i don't believe anyone is imposing on me by sending asks about something they really enjoy!! it's very silly of me to be intimidated by lots of people being excited about a cool, sexy character and wanting to hear my thoughts about him. i'm trying to remember that it's normal for people to have a backlog of requests, and that we're allowed to just...let it sit, or say no, if we don't want to answer. that's okay! tldr; you are very sweet and you've made me feel a lot less stressed about all of this;;; it's my own fault for doing so much in such a short space of time! i'm gonna keep your words in mind and try responding at a more measured pace. i would absolutely love to hear about your Jack headcanons if you're happy to share 🥰💖
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neo-shitty · 10 months
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hope you dont mind me popping in to your inbox to scream abt whc1 bc you are truly the only person out of my friend circle that has watched it 😭😭 first of all
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facts. he can do no wrong.
second of all its been days and i am still processing like this has never happened to me before ?? usually i am a lil :// until the rest of the day when i finish a sad drama but with this im just so heartbroken still. yesterday during a big mental breakdown (unrelated to the drama i am not THAT crazy ok) i realised why it hit me so hard and i think its bc i somehow relate to sieun (anger issues and all /j) and so i somehow projected into his character and so when it all went down with suho i just couldnt deal w it ?? I LEGIT HAD A MINI PANIC ATTACK it felt like it was happening to me 😭😭😭 like he was such comfort for me. he broke the cycle of loneliness and stereotype for sieun and i just really adored each interaction they had. the fact that they would both kill and die for each other makes me bawl my eyes out.
but when it all comes down to it, i understand beomseok, i really do, but i also dont. i dont think ill ever forgive that character, i just cant. i cant imagine how it must have felt for him and i couldnt be able to deal w life either if i was in his shoes, but my brain just cant grasp the lengths he went to hurt people that did nothing but care for him and tried to help him with everything. he's a complex character for sure, one you have to analyze to get, but i dont have it in me to have a single ounce of sympathy after the ending of the drama.
but to think that the parents and the adults were truly at fault here ?? beomseok being abused, sieun abandoned and neglected, suho not really having parents around either (i read somewhere that they are canonically abroad or something?? not too sure), the policemen not taking sieun seriously at first, the teachers seeing the shit happening and not doing anything to stop the bullying... where were everyones parents when all those kids got caught up w the gang? its truly sickening and heartbreaking to think that this truly could be happening anywhere and to anyone.
and it broke me so much bc i could accept beomseok drifting away from them and stuff, but to gang up on suho on his fucking birthday? sieun cooking and decorating with young yi and taking pics for her insta (i strongly believe her and sieuns friendship is SO underrated they were so cute together) and both of them just hid it from everyone to protect suho,, their sunshine ??? the poor boy must have been so confused and lonely on his bday and it makes me :( and then when he saw sieuns cast and went to avenge him ?? I read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.
also i find it funny how i found the drama through a clip on tiktok where jihoon cried at watching the last scene where sieun breaks the window and i was like oh this should be just the right amount of sad for me rn and then i got emotionally damaged. :,)
yeah anyways my fav trope is found family and FUCK all of those who hurt my sunshine bc now im forever heartbroken.
sorry for the rant toffee but it did felt cathartic to write this all out
bar, please don't worry about it. feel free to come back any time you have to yell about it and i'll try to get back to you as soon as i can.
sooho was just too easy to love. we headed into that show blind HAHA we should've known it was too good to be true! i never saw it coming actually.
same !! took me days to get over this too. *hugs* i'm sorry about the mental breakdown, i hope you're feeling a bit better now !! oh the projection must've made the whole thing twice as hard. again, sooho was such a comfort character :( his happy go lucky nature was such a breath of fresh air esp when the themes occasionally got dark. i want that dynamic for me actually (to kill and die for each other, yes). i usually find it corny but it was so well executed here.
oh bumseok :( i think it's valid to simultaneously understand him but at the same time, find what he did unforgivable. i get where he was coming from and how he was just looking for a place to fit in—where he wasn't looked down on. idk how to describe it but when he started misreading the situation (like that whole bit abt sooho not following him on ig but following young yi), i think something in him snapped. he was so fed up with being helpless at home and at his previous school that when it happened a third time, he did everything to get back and lashed out.
I 100% BELIEVE THE ADULTS WERE ABSOLUTE SHITTIEST NEGLIGENT FUCKERS AROUND. like???? leaving a scamming syndicate to be dealt with by high schoolers?????? bumseok's fake ass politician dad??????? sure, sieun's parents were 'present' but emotionally distant, like check on your kids bitches or not have them at all god dAMN. i thought some of the aspects of the bullying were exaggerated bc from where i'm from it never gets that bad but hearing that to an extent, it was truthful about it just left me dumbfounded. how could parents allow things like this to happen under the radar? it's unbelievable and heartbreaking to me.
yeah, i thought bumseok would just join his cool boy squad but he really had to do whatever the fuck he did :D my girl, i know you read my tags and i was vile as fuck towards him but at the time i was just so angry too. also yes! youngyi and sieun's friendship <3 i wish they had more time </3 and honestly, if bumseok didn't do a whole 180, i think the four of them would make such a cute squad. like the way they would protect each other??? hmp :/
'i read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.' i saw that the other day and that broke me to fucking hell i could sell anyone's soul to see them together again (SPECIFICALLY, with the other one being fine and out of comatose yes i would love that for me.
ohhh, i've been meaning to watch that vid of them reacting to whc1 but at the time it didn't have subs. jihoon's acting was so fucking effective like??? the sadness the eyes of that man has can sway me to do anything !! so sorry that you got so much more than just a little sad bout. heading into this drama blind was like bringing a knife to a whole war.
this show made me realize that tragedy could strike any pairing on any show and i wouldn't bat an eye but have the same happen to a found family and then i'm instantly destroyed. THE SHOW ACTUALLY REMINDED ME OF YOUR CHENJI FIC????? FUCK. please do let me know if you ever get around to writing something related to them haha i'm ready to be destroyed.
please do not ever apologize for ranting especially about this show !! i went through this whole phase ALONE last year (watching it after christmas was the biggest mistake, i ended my year DEPRESSED as FUCK) so i'm offering as much help as i can.
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berryunho · 2 years
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LOL sorry omg i really died. like am still dying. i spent all day yesterday crying over my coursework and shit but i talked to that guy and he really knocked some sense into me and told me to not be so hard on myself... so now im crying internally and not externally 😭
ive been thinking about it now and i think i might switch majors for the sake of my sanity bc real talk the amount of work is insane and i cant properly function it's crazy out here idk how people do this... i was thinking maybe health sci since i already have most of the credits for the degree and ive always wanted to be involved in the healthcare field... im gonna see my academic advisor on monday and see what they say because holy guacamole i want to be able to enjoy school w/o crying every time i think about it
omg that got long but those have been my thoughts for the past few days BUT ANYWAY that's so good!!!! im so happy for you big brain energy we love to see it!! ive got a biochem midterm this week (which is the cause of my mental breakdowns BUT KLSJFRG) and ochem is in 2 weeks but as i said might change majors and ochem is not necessary... so i'll prob drop it haha
the last season was so good. i found it a bit slow in the beginning but once it picks up it's going like i could not stop watching it!! i havent watched bcs but i heard it gets better near the end again?? ive watched el camino tho
that's how i felt abt crocheting at first like im the type of person to try something for a little bit and then give up right after but honestly!!! it's so fun because you can make all kinds of different things like clothing, bags, accessories and it's so fun!! i've been picking up knitting too and i've made some socks and i'm working on a sweater rn
WOIEFJWE that man is so wonderful like i feel like he really understands me and !!!!!!!!!!! i feel like he really balances out the "negative" parts/thoughts of me and is so reassuring IM WHIPPED LOL
omg yes i had a bad cold too like a week ago (no covid as well) and i think i might be good now knock on wood!! what a slay im glad your classes are going so well for you! i dont follow hockey (gasp) but i can see the thrill of it!! hopefully they can win the next game!
highly enjoyed the break. have a great weekend too!! <3
-mightychondria
no no no worries lol i totally get being busy and everything <33
but omg :[[ im sorry that school has been so overwhelming and stressful for you aaaaa yeah if its at the point where you're upset everyday and completely overwhelmed and don't like school then i definitely agree w changing your major.... you don't want the rest of your life to be like this lol health science would be interesting for sure !! there are so many ways to be involved in health care and the health system without being a doctor/nurse/etc so im sure you'll be able to find something that works !!
?!*%*$???($*@)? you're taking ochem AND biochem at the same time ?!!?($*@)@ i understand the breakdowns wtf id lose it fr but lol fingers crossed changing your major works out so that you don't have to take that ochem exam
fr i definitely understand why breaking bad is considered like one of the best shows of all time ... the writing was so good and the story was so compelling and even when it got to the point where you were like 'wtf thats sick and messed up' you couldnt stop watching bc you were in so deep lol but !! ive yet to watch el camino ... hmmm
oooo man thats so cool !! you're so right like i always see crochet tutorials on tiktok for like the most random things ever and you can make like. anything. its amazing. hehe maybe ill try it out once i have more free time :]
YAAAYYY FOR THE MAN!! im glad that he's good for you :] its very nice that he's sticking w you through all of your stress and helping you out!! hehe have yall gone on any fun dates or are you just ~talking~ ?
tis the time of year for colds lol this one i think is just about done ... my cough is significantly better today but i can't decide if its actually better or if its just bc i havent been talking today .... lol ig ill see tomorrow! KFLJDSKFJ [gasp] a canadian that doesn't follow hockey ... an incredible find ... hehehe im joking but yes fr hockey is so crazy compared to other sports like even though its kinda like soccer its still so different and sooooo entertaining to me lol ty for the support for my team they definitely need it [muffled through fake coughing] they're bad [more fake coughing]
yay! i hope this week of classes goes better! tyyyy <3 <3 <3
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anakinskywalkerog · 2 years
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I feel weird about saying I have ocd cuz I'm more or less cured like I wouldn't say that I'm in a state of disorder my life is no longer just hours upon hours of compulsions but like I still do some weird shit I would say I have residue from the disorder that won't leave and that depending on anxiety and situation the ocd can take stronger hold but as I said I'm no longer in a state of disorder so I dunno what the heck to say to people when they question my weird little behaviours and anxiety. I feel kind of guilty just going oh yeah I do that cuz ocd because I'm no longer in disorder but then again I'm not gonna go into my whole psychological history y'know 🤣
Girl kinda same about the fandom obsession thing, that's what I'm doing with starwars rn for avoidance and now I'm over 3 months behind in my assignments whoops P.s this is SandArt anon lol The kenobi show was soooo good though
The media portrayal of ocd and a lot of other mental disorders is so crap and surface level that I just ignore it or it'll make me mad, I'd rather media just not go there. The one thing I've seen that is pretty accurate is Leonard Decaprio in The Aviator. That showed how strange and weird or even kind of asshole-ish the sufferer appears to 'normal' people. And the complete decline of the character until he wasn't even a person anymore, he was just a vessel for whatever nonsensical torture the disorder needed carried out. The sheer disfunction was shown. Like boy ended up cording off parts of his house because they weren't 'clean' enough til he ended up with one room that he deemed 'uncontaminated/safe' and lo and behold that room didn't have bathroom facilties so he was urinating in bottles. In real life I would never admit to relating to that but yeah
In your fic master yuma and readers emotional force connection thing would be SO good for ocd therapy/cbt like yuma's force presence and emotional knowledge could be used to kind of insert itself into your own force presence and alleviate the anxiety to the point where the obsession or thought no longer has any power and then you'd be free from compulsions
I haven't seen the Aviator in a long time so I can't remember how it ends, I'm gonna maybe watch it again, there is a dinner scene in it though that is so relatable it's kinda funny like just the way everyone was looking at him like he was deranged and you could see in his eyes that he was like silently communicating that yes he is in fact aware that this is crazy but he still has to 🤣
i haven’t actually seen Aviator. i do definitely relate to having some weird needs/preferences, or getting upset about something that my ex partner/family/friends would have no idea why anyone would get upset about haha
i’m not sure anyone is ever cured of any mental illness, but they definitely change and evolve over time and can get better or different. even as i talk about these obsessive symptoms i’ve had, i definitely recognize my illness has gotten a lot better over the years, or maybe i’ve gotten better at dealing with it? idk 🤷‍♀️
i would LOVE IT if Master Yuma is real i mean i know the whole fic is the Anakin fantasy but honestly it’s also a parental fantasy lol having an older mentor to watch over you and take care of you? sounds nice 😭
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saxxuki · 2 years
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SACHI NAKAMURA (中村さち), MY DIABOLIK LOVERS OC
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-Sachi Nakamura
17 y.o
168 cm
59 kg
Race: Human
She’s an introvert and loves reading, mostly romance novels.
Anxiety over 9000
LIKES: reading, drawing, art, insects (has a praying mantis called Francis)
DISLIKES: almost everything else, her mother, herself
Random stuff:
-she has a small scar on her shoulder which she touches when she’s nervous/anxious.
-she has trouble looking people in the eye.
-she has a very difficult relationship with her mother, a seriously mentally ill and a radical catholic, and was recently abandoned by her father, making her to live immersed in her romance novels, aiming for a partner who could change her daily life.
-at first she had a crush (or at least showed interest) on Ayato.
-but then someone appeared in her life
-and they started using each other…
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Sachi: Nice to meet you all, I hope we can get along… now if you excuse me, i’d like to read for a bit, see you!
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[SHE'S MY OC, PLEASE DO NOT STEAL HER OR HER DESIGN, THANKS ✨]
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I-I did it, I posted my OC 😳😳😳😳😳
I’M SO EMBARRASSED!!! 🙈🙈🙈 i’ve been delaying this moment for months, insecurity sucks 😭😭
I want to post fanarts, scenarios and more info about Sachi and her relationship with the Sakamaki family and Yui, and maybe rewrite my fanfic about her, who knows?? It depends on my free time and my motivation haha
Hope you like her, she’s my girl and she deserves to have some friends 🥺🥺
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I think im fine now lol ofc i was really shaken bc that was SUPER horrible and bc of past car related loss 🤩 Do it like This by p1harmony was playing as the accident happened and i couldnt listen to it without my brain immediately going 🌫🌫🌫 for like a week (tf kind of coping mechanism is having your mind and body literally shut off involuntarily when distressed lmao its so inconvenient and embarrassing) 😭 👎 on a more positive note i got a job 🤩 im so excited cuz im broke (and i want ateez stuff since i got into them in january and have nothing 🤕) and bc i had a dissociative seizure at work in september that left me extremely weak and unable to walk so i had to leave my job 😵‍💫 i think ive fully regained my strength and ability to walk now tho 😌 so the lesson of the day is prioritize your mental health bc you never know what unexpected and massive inconvenience can happen until it happens to you 😭 ANYWAYSssss ill stop or else i wont shut up lol
lmAOOO THE SWORD POST 👹👹👹 SO EXCITED TO SEE HOW PROMINENCE PROGRESSES 👹👹👹👹 and nOT KYUNGJAE 😭✋✋✋👎👎👎👎 i remember when you first introduced him and i jus thought he was just really friendly 💀 now hes getting in thE WAYYYY LMAOOO thatd be funny if the other members just regularly barged in and took up his job of doing yns makeup also random and off topic but ateez’s cover of rhythm ta on kingdom jus 👹👹👹 i rewatch it like everyday bro i love it in fact im listening to it rn cuz its in my musi playlist 👹 bro my mind is all over the place lmao sorry
-🦑
I've heard of more inconvenient coping mechanisms, if it makes you feel any better. I knew someone who would eat stuffed animal stuffing, but of course everyone has their coping mechanisms that work so never feel too embarrassed or shocked by them, love. But ahhh I'm glad you found a job <3 I hope it's a good fit and the working environment is fun!! Mental health really is so important nowadays, it's important to know your limits, how much you can handle, and when to step away.
Also yeah ahahaha there's a bit more context leading up to that so ahhhh i can't wait to post it djfdfjgd but fr Kyungjae's a little gossip 🙄 BUT FR No imagine Jeno showing up out of nowhere like "(Y/N). (Y/N) I watched three hours worth of eyeliner tutorials on YouTube and used all of Jihyun's eyeliner on Jisung and now I think I've mastered puppy eyeliner can I try it on you?" also AHHH it's okay my mind works on overdrive too haha
Also, yes, Rhythm Ta ATEEZ cover supremacyyyy
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marlaluster · 5 years
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Emptying the cliptray on the new phone. ....
1. https://youtu.be/QeKDt35snjg 2. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u4Ku17CqdZg 3. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IG7niM9PzeE 4. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RjtDoKDIVIw 5. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RjtDoKDIVIw 6. DUI checkpoint refusal, officer gets OWNED. Johndeaux225,229,038 views 4.4K Published on Aug 31, 2013 8/30/13 22:25. MLK x W Cheyenne ave, north Las Vegas NV. Driver refuses to answer questions, first officer aggravated, calls in NHP Sgt. Cook and proceeds to get an education on the laws surrounding suspicion-less stops/searches. Category News & Politics Source videos View attributions Up nextAutoplay 10:21 Illegal Traffic Stop After Big Loop Rodeo SHARK 1.8M views 7. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uVPZ-V0EyyM 8. Why Dr. Phil Abruptly Ends Interview And Asks Guest To Leave Stage Dr. Phil14,380,996 views 3.7M Published on Feb 1, 2018 After speaking with a 21-year-old about her relationship with a woman she's never met, Dr. Phil says, "I think we're just going to shut this down." Why? http://drphil.com Subscribe to Dr. Phil: http://bitly.com/SubscribeDrPhil LIKE us on Facebook: http://bitly.com/DrPhilFacebook Follow us on Twitter: http://bitly.com/DrPhilTwitter Dr. Phil uses the power of television to tell compelling stories about real people. The Dr. Phil show provides the most comprehensive forum on mental health issues in the history of television. For over a decade, Dr. McGraw has used the show's platform to make psychology accessible and understandable to the general public by addressing important personal and social issues. Using his top-rated show as a teaching tool, he takes aim at the critical issues of our time, including the "silent epidemics" of bullying, drug abuse, domestic violence, depression, child abuse, suicide and various forms of severe mental illness. Category Entertainment Up nextAutoplay 3:23 ‘Nobody Tells Me Who To Put On My Show, Including You,’ Dr. Phil Tells Guest Dr. Phil 5.3M views 6:19 Wipe That Smirk Off Bryon Wilson 9. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AY5qtpcI7bU 10. https://www.instagram.com/p/BshNQPVnOou/ 11. chrishemsworth's profile picture chrishemsworth Verified • Tap video for sound 6,051,074 views chrishemsworth Trying to lock in on my workout spirit animal for 2019 @zocobodypro @da_rulk debbymarcon @analaura_2805 kkkkkk vamos combinar 😱😱😂😂 lauritasanchez.95 @lydia_vergara madremia parece un lagarto de comodo jajajaja kevykev38 Gimme 4 weeks I’ll be right there with ya bro lorenaflores.n Yo también puedo hacer eso 🙄 kts_117 @ella.stack juliafmota @estevesaraujo inspiração aí saul_aguillon @lauraaguillon esta papa aryanizerrr @sheinpotss have a good day ♥️ allie1404 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 taesyv @jadeykathleen I know right 😰haha @dimiklioufis babes I need to be 20 kilos lighter to do a frog squat 😂😂😭 juzinha2 @deadormonster hahahahhahaha let_it_bb @andymcl inspo for you! i.am_tess 🤣 I love Australia. So proud! Nice work @chrishemsworth that’s intense. 🙌🏻 albamarin99 @paula_sv_12 😂 ehnglo Lower in those lunges!!! :p Well done otherwise :) jennyferreiras @wanjimenez hasta corriendo como Gorila es hermoso!...espero que Elsa no lea español😁😁😁😁 angeli_kjm @angy_jacky, mi novio! 😁 carlyjjones @sheree_r he is a fine fine specimen 😍😂 joshvaladon @em_buchanan_ ok judithperez2_ @kelvinreyes23_ dale asi sheinpotss @aryanizerrr myghaaaad boo!!!!! My bby #2 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ vkknudsen Wow arianecg3 To me sentindo mal agora por a gente ficar quase morrendo por ter pulado corda @thiaguinho2206 @jenny_andrade2 kkkk creacionly @chrishemsworth bello !!! Saludos desde Venezuela 😘😍 20 HOURS AGO ABOUT USSUPPORTPRESSAPIJOBSPRIVACYTERMSDIRECTORYPROFILESHASHTAGSLANGUAGE © 2019 INSTAGRAM 12. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nG4E6VA2iSw 13. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theladders.com/career-advice/3-insights-from-gisele-bundchen-that-can-help-you-live-your-best-life/amp 14. THE WHOLE HUMANJANUARY 11, 2019 3 insights from Gisele Bundchen that can help you live your best lifeSTEPHANIE FAIRYINGTON The supermodel, U.N. Goodwill Ambassador, and environmentalist offers poignant insights to live by in a contemplative exchange with Arianna Huffington. PHOTO: TIAGO CHEDIAK At the center of Gisele Bündchen’s life philosophy, and the core message underlying her newly published best-selling memoir, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, is the highest valued human emotion: Love. “The most important thing that I want everyone to take from the book is: Live your life with love. If we’re not loving toward ourselves, we can’t be loving toward others. Everything starts with ourselves,” she says. The supermodel, U.N. Goodwill Ambassador, and environmentalist offers poignant insights to live by in a contemplative exchange with Arianna Huffington on the Thrive Global Podcast, in partnership with iHeartRadio and Sleep Number. Their conversation included three valuable science-backed takeaways that will improve your life. Advertising Advertising Make love your creed Love is the engine that fuels every facet of Bündchen’s life – and her spiritual practice. “Love is my religion because love is the only thing that [communicates] across the board,” she says. “It is the only truth… the only guiding light in my life.” Adopting Bündchen’s point of view could benefit you immensely. Studies spearheaded by Kory Floyd, Ph.D., a communications professor at the University of Arizona whose research focuses on how affectionate communication affects human health, demonstrate that expressing our love in word or deed increases immunity and lowers stress hormones, cholesterol, and blood pressure. Don’t be controlled or defined by what others think Bündchen actively resists being defined by others. “Anytime that you become so defined by a title, or something, you can become enslaved by it,” she tells Huffington. “That can put you in a box… We are not just one thing.” And not only do we “contain multitudes,” as the poet Walt Whitman once wrote, we also can be more fully ourselves if we avoid getting caught up in the trap of worrying about what others think of us. “Most of the time what people think of us has nothing to do with us. It’s mostly to do with what they feel about themselves,” Bündchen points out. Science proves she’s right about that: A 2004 study showed that egocentricism muddles our ability to see one another accurately. Keeping that in mind will help liberate you from being preoccupied with other people, and will allow you to focus on your own personal development instead. Get rid of the clutter When Huffington asks if Bündchen’s extremely tidy and spare home helps her remain present and productive, she responds, “I think so for sure. I can’t think in a messy or cluttered environment. I like only the necessary.” The reason she likes things to be “very clean and neat and organized” is because she thinks her energy can flow better in those environments, boosting her creativity. Studies buttress her point of view. A Princeton study found that an accumulation of detritus challenges our ability to concentrate and complete tasks efficiently. To boot, if we think of our homes as healing sanctuaries, as Bündchen does hers, it can improve our mental wellbeing, according to a 2010 study. Advertising Advertising To find out more, listen to the full conversation on iHeartRadio, here. You can also listen to the Thrive Global podcast internationally for free on iTunes. This article was originally published on Thrive Global. More:BooksHappinessHealthInnovationLifeMental HealthpassionPersonal OrganizingRelationshipsThe Whole Human MORE FROM LADDERS This is the point when cold weather becomes dangerous 7 wellness reads that will help you live your best life Has ‘working from home’ put the sick day on its death bed? 3 insights from Gisele Bundchen that can help you live your best life This is exactly how much coffee Kelly Ripa drinks before her very long day STEPHANIE FAIRYINGTON 15. https://www.google.com/amp/s/people.com/sports/tom-brady-doesnt-trust-a-lot-of-people/amp/ 16. SUBSCRIBE SPORTS Tom Brady on Why He Doesn’t Trust People Off of the Football Field: 'I Don’t Feel Protected' JASON DUAINE HAHNPosted on January 11, 2019 3:15PM While Tom Brady might love competing in front of tens of thousands of people on the field, he’s very careful about who he lets into his circle when he’s off of it. Brady, 41, who is gearing up to face the Los Angeles Chargers on Sunday for a chance to go to the AFC Championship Game, sat down with the “Religion of Sports” podcast recently to talk about what playing in the NFL means to him as he enters an age when many athletes consider retirement. “When I’m out on the field in front of 70,000 people, I can kind of do what I want,” Brady — who shares two children with model Gisele Bündchen — said, according to Boston.com. While the New England Patriots earned a promising 11-5 record this season, there has been much discussion around how long Brady — who many football fans consider the greatest quarterback of all-time — will be able to perform at an elite level. Brady would be the first to admit he plays differently now than he did in his early 20s, but feels the game is too important for him to step away just yet. LARRY BUSACCA/GETTY “I can really be who I am,” Brady said on the radio show of continuing to play football. “I get to be me with my raw emotion and energy. If I want to scream at somebody, I can scream at somebody. But you don’t really see me do that any place else.” But when he is off the field, Brady told the hosts he closes himself off from strangers. It’s his way of protecting himself, he said, according to Boston.com. “In so many ways I can be myself out there on the field that, in a lot of ways, I can’t be myself if I don’t feel protected,” the five-time Super Bowl champion explained. “If I’m around people I don’t know, and I know that a conversation is going to go outside the people that I’m having a conversation with, I don’t say much.” “I think that my way of protecting myself from that is to isolate myself, because I’m protective of who I am, and I don’t trust a lot of people,” he continued, according to the outlet. “So that’s probably why I love football so much, because it allows me to be who I am in a very authentic way that is hard for me to be when I walk off the field.” RELATED: Tom Brady Picks ‘Boston Legend’ Mark Wahlberg to Play Him in a Movie: He’s a ‘Grind It Out’ Guy While the questions around how long Brady has left before retirement are bound to continue into the offseason — especially considering how he performs against the Chargers on Sunday — the former NFL MVP remains focused on everything he still wants to do before the time comes to hang up his jersey. “I mean I think the last eight years of my career were better than the first 10,” he explained on “Religion of Sports,” according to Boston.com. “So I should just prolong it, and that’s what I’m trying to do. It’d be like getting close to the top of the mountain and be like, ‘That’s it, I’m good.’ And it’s like no, you worked really hard to get to this point, why not finish it off?” Last year, Brady told PEOPLE that he has the full backing of his wife to continue his career. “I love playing and I want to keep going ’cause I think there’s more to achieve and I still think I can play at a really high level,” he told PEOPLE. “As long as I’m willing to make the commitment, my family gets the time they need, [then] hopefully I can keep playing the game I love.” Stay in the Know Subscribe to PEOPLE’s newsletters so you never miss out on a must-read story SIGN UP NOW MORE FROM PEOPLE.COM And They Lived Happily Ever After! Tim Tebow and Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters Celebrate Their Engagement at Disney World Inside Tim Tebow and New Fiancée Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters' Whirlwind Romance Hockey Players Say They Can’t Find Jeans to Fit Their Bigger Butts — and It's 'an Absolute Nightmare' Tim Tebow & Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters Are Considering a Destination Wedding: 'I'm Really Ready to Get Married' NHL Player Rick Nash Is Retiring Due to 'Unresolved Issues' from Concussion Tags # NEWS # SPORTS # TOM BRADY SUBSCRIBE GIVE A GIFT All products featured were editorially selected. PEOPLE.com may receive a percentage of sales for items purchased from these links. © 2018 Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy (Your California Privacy Rights). | EU Data Subject Requests 17. https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2019/01/08/former-model-stomped-on-black-kid-while-shouting-n-word-cops/amp/ 18. Menu NEWS Former model stomped on black kid while shouting N-word: cops By Tamar Lapin January 8, 2019 | 2:02pm Trace Riff Trace Riff Sedgwick County Jail A former Big Apple model who once appeared in a shoot alongside Gisele Bündchen allegedly kicked a tot to the ground in a Kansas grocery store while shouting racial slurs, authorities allege. Chisel-jawed Trace Riff was charged Monday for the ugly Dec. 31. attack — where he allegedly stomped on a black one-year-old boy while declaring himself a white supremacist and using the n-word. Riff, 31, — who once strutted his stuff for the likes of Hugo Boss and Emporio Armani — “sounded like a madman” as he ranted, the child’s mother, Lashantai Whitaker, told the Wichita Eagle. In his first court appearance Monday, Riff appeared via video monitor in a lemon-yellow prison jumpsuit, mumbling incoherently as his long, stringy hair fell over his face. That’s a far cry from 2005, when the Oklahoma native appeared with his arms wrapped around Tom Brady’s future wife in Harper’s Bazaar. When he started his career in New York City that year at 18, “Everybody was trying to sign him,” his paternal grandmother, Twila LaRue told the paper. “He is a real pretty boy and the modeling agencies were just after him,” she said. He walked in runways for Marc Jacobs and Louis Vuitton and traveled all over Europe, reveling in the glitz and attention, according to his family and MySpace page. But his life started spiraling out of control when he began using drugs, his family said. He moved back to Oklahoma and couldn’t find work, his granny told the outlet. “I think he just wants to be out of reality,” LaRue said. For years, he’s been homeless in the Wichita area, and his last gig was as a plumber, according to court records. But Riff still believes he’s Hollywood-bound and has a “delusional feeling on entitlement,” LaRue said. He has a long rap sheet, most recently for felony possession of meth on Jan 3. Hours after the grocery-store attack, Riff was arrested and then released. He was collared again Monday, this time on attempted aggravated battery charges. “I’m happy,” said Whitaker, the mother of one-year-old Jhavii Fry. “Because I though they were going to blow it off.” Riff is being held in Sedgwick County Jail on $100,000 bond. His next court appearance is Jan. 14. FILED UNDER ASSAULTS , KANSAS , MODELS , RACIAL SLURS , RACISM TRENDING NOW Former model stomped on black kid while shouting N-word: cops Jeff Bezos' racy texts to Lauren Sanchez revealed Former model stomped on black kid while shouting N-word: cops Meghan Markle reportedly 'miserable' in her new royal role Former model stomped on black kid while shouting N-word: cops Tim Tebow engaged to former Miss Universe Former model stomped on black kid while shouting N-word: cops WFAN's Joe Benigno goes on epic Jets-Adam Gase rant Former model stomped on black kid while shouting N-word: cops Jeff Bezos' texts to Lauren Sanchez reportedly include nude pics Former model stomped on black kid while shouting N-word: cops Jeff Bezos used Lin-Manuel Miranda to spend time with Lauren Sanchez MORE ON: RACISM Weatherman who used racial slur shouldn't have been fired: MLK's daughter Parents allege school 'cover-up' as photo of noose surfaces online Racist Uber driver meets his match Man learns his fate for Trump-inspired tirade toward Hispanic family at pool Email Newsletters Mobile Apps Contact Us Tips Facebook Twitter Instagram Messenger Email © 2019 NYP Holdings, Inc. All Rights Reserved Terms of Use | Privacy Powered by WordPress.com VIP 19. https://nypost.com/2019/01/11/ex-teammate-rips-tom-brady-for-brain-comment-made-me-throw-up-in-mouth/ 20. News Metro Page Six Sports Business Opinion Entertainment Fashion Living Media Tech Real Estate Video Photos Covers Columnists Horoscopes Sports Odds Email Newsletters Home Delivery Coupons Page Six TV New York Post SPORTS Facebook Twitter Flipboard WhatsApp Email Copy Ex-teammate rips Tom Brady for brain comment: ‘Made me throw up in my mouth’ By Justin Terranova January 11, 2019 | 10:06am | Updated Ted Johnson; Tom Brady Ted Johnson; Tom Brady Getty Images One of Tom Brady’s former teammates is disgusted by the quarterback’s “irresponsible” opinion on concussions. Linebacker Ted Johnson, who won three Super Bowls with the Patriots, said Brady’s claim that his “brain is wired for contact” sends a dangerous message. “I’ll be honest, and I love Tom, it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit,” Johnson told Boston’s The Sports Hub on Thursday. “It was very irresponsible for Tom to talk like that. ‘My brain’s wired for contact.’ “So, what, Kevin Turner’s wasn’t? Junior Seau’s wasn’t? Justin Strzelczyk’s brain wasn’t? Andre Waters’ brain wasn’t wired for contact? But yours is (wired for contact)? It was very insensitive and I thought irresponsible to talk like that.” Those are just four of the players whose deaths have been linked to CTE after suffering numerous concussions during their football careers. Johnson has dealt with depression since retiring in 2004. He told CNN in 2009 that he barely left his house in the years after leaving the game. Advertisement “I’d [leave to] go see my kids for maybe 15 minutes,” Johnson said. “Then I would go back home and close the curtains, turn the lights off and I’d stay in bed. That was my routine for two years. Those were bad days.” Brady made the comments in a Dec. 13 interview with Westwood One as he touts his TB12 workout method. The 41-year-old, who has the Patriots in the Divisional Round of the playoffs, plans to play into his mid-40s. He has shrugged off concussion concerns, though his wife, Gisele Bündchen, briefly voiced them in the past and has implored him to retire. “I don’t. I don’t,” Johnson said when asked if he shares Brady’s confidence in the TB12 method when it comes to brain injuries. “I haven’t seen it in the medical journals, right? It’s in his book, right? But I haven’t seen any other scientists back it up and validate it. (If) that happens, maybe I’ll start taking it serious. 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