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siphonophive · 2 months

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hello I am finally posting about all the sex toys I have acquired and what I think about them. Under the cut will include some basic info about silicone fantasy toys in general, but will mostly go in-depth about some of my own in-use experiences. I can't talk about every single model I've tried, but I talk about my favorites and try to get into some pros and cons of using grinders and strokers as a trans guy specifically.

Apologies this post is kind of all over the place! Silicone toy 101 is at the top, personal experiences with specific toys are below with the other photos.

Silicone Basics

The key words you're looking for in a toy is platinum cure silicone, which is nonporous, nontoxic, durable, and can be easily sterilized by boiling or bleaching if needed (though in general a good wash with non-scented soap is all that's needed for basic upkeep). If you got a cheap toy from amazon or an online sex store, there's a good chance it's not platinum cure silicone and since sex toys are unregulated, you could be unknowingly causing yourself irritation or using a toy that harbors bacteria growth.

New to silicone? Here's what you need to know: Silicone used for fantasy toys is generally not as rigid as materials used in cheap mass-produced toys. There are different firmnesses but in general the options offered by indie shops will be softer than you may be used to, and you might have a learning curve at first. Here's the most typical firmnesses you'll see on scale from softest to hardest with the most commonly used names:

00-20 (SuperSoft) 00-30 (Soft) 00-31 (*NC31/Soft+) 00-50 (Medium/Regular) 00-45 (*NC45/Medium+) 10A (Firm)

Strange Bedfellas has a good detailed guide on what you can expect from different firmnesses.

*Near Clear is a... well, nearly clear silicone (no silicone is fully transparent). Regular silicone is opaque, but NC has less opacity and many shops now use it to make really visually striking toys with a lot of depth. Near Clear "soft" or "medium" is firmer than soft or medium in regular silicone. To me, 00-31 feels like 00-50, and I have found that as a person who prefers softer toys, even the "soft" NC is much too firm for me to use comfortably. Also be aware that some shops say that boiling NC toys can make them firmer and discourage that.

Shops I've bought from:

I own toys from Strange Bedfellas, Dread the Empire, Paladin Pleasure Sculptors, Made to Were, Hodge Podge Entourage, Kudu Voodoo, Gelatinous Creations, The Wicked Hunt, XenoCat Artifacts, Masterwork Toys, and Fantasticocks. These are all US based, and are only a fraction of the great indie shops making toys in the US and internationally.

-> For a more complete list of shops (along with MUCH MORE info about body safe toys), please see Fantastic Frost's Guide to Fantasy Sex Toys. <-

Heads up: Indie shops tend to upload their inventory in batches. Most sites will have a banner somewhere indicating the day/time of the next drop, or they will state it on their twitter, where they also post upcoming inventory photos. Be aware that some popular shops/models can sell out quickly or even instantly. There's a whole collector community that can be really intense about drops, and it's kind of funny to see when you're just passing through casually.

Choosing an Insertable Toy

If you're looking at my photos thinking "I'm intrigued but how am I supposed to know what I'd like?", good question! You ultimately have to just try something and see.

It's difficult to recommend specific toys because everyone's preferences are so different. I'm learning that a lot of people prefer firmer toys than I do, and since I'm a small person, even "Small" toys can be big to me. In general, fantasy toys tend to run BIG, so make sure to double check the measurements! For me, the restricting factor is usually circumference, and I recommend that if you have a toy (or a partner I guess!) that is a good size for you, physically measure the circumference so you have something to reference. I've found for me that anything bigger than 5.5" around will take warm up with a smaller toy first, and 6" is typically the max I can do without committing to a longer stretch session. But I've seen other people use my max sizes as their warm-up toys! So it really depends on your body.

My personal favorites

(disclaimer- I only use dildos vaginally, without lube, and I'm a trans guy who's been on testosterone for 15 years. ymmv etc.)

The photo below shows the insertable toys I personally reach for the most often. Shop/model details listed along with the circumference because I feel like a visual comparison is helpful for people who don't know what these measurements look like. In-use talk about why I like these and how I use them is below.

Slim Deelit is nice to have because I can use it with zero prep or before I'm even turned on; it's a great warm up, and a good starter toy for people not experienced with penetration.

Small Batou is probably the toy I would recommend the most highly for anyone looking to try out fantasy toys–it's a basic shape with a slight swell, it's short so it's impossible to go too deep, but the ridge on the head feels very nice, and I've found it all around a great toy for anything from thrusting to just shoving it in and rocking on it.

Isonade is also a great basic model (though HPE is more expensive)–it's also got a slight swell and texture which feels good but is gentle, and it has more length so it's nice if you've got a deep spot you're trying to ram.

Adventurer reminds me of Isonade but with the addition of a significant head ridge–I need to be in the mood for the extra stimulation, but when I am it's great. The sculpt is very detailed and they offer realistic colors as well that look very beautiful. Masterwork Toys is an underrated shop imo–they don't do a lot of inventory drops and take long breaks, so this model was one I was after for a while.

Sahl is a gem when I want a lot of stimulation with basically no effort–stick it in and the hard curve, thick middle, and texture do all the work. I need to be very worked up to use it and it tends to be something I use to finish off quickly.

Knight is also an underrated model I think. It's got a swell and a flared, split, heavily textured head, but the rest of the shaft is smooth and narrower, so the stimulation when thrusting hits twice and is direct, sharp, and intense. It's what I grab when I want to be overstimulated and maybe involuntarily cry a little.

You'll notice three of these are from Strange Bedfellas, and they're definitely the first shop I recommend to people new to fantasy toys because of their combination of affordability (plus email coupons and sales!), consistent quality, variety of models including slim sizes, and the matte/satin finish (holds onto lubrication better than high gloss).

Grinders???

Grinders! I feel like so many people do not know what these are or how to use them and that is a real shame because they are a staple for me and are a great option for people with vulvas who may not want penetration all the time (or ever) or are specifically looking for external stimulation. Every once in a while I see someone shyly asking how to use them, so I think not knowing and being afraid to ask is the biggest reason for people overlooking them. Depending on the size, they can be used handheld, or some people might sit on them on a chair or strap ones that have loops to something (or to a partner's leg), but the way I use them typically just involves putting one on a sturdy pillow between my legs, kneeling or laying down over it and grinding against or thrusting into it depending on the toy and if it has a big enough hole for me to penetrate. Using them this way can be extra fun cause you can ride a long dildo at the same time if you so desire. :) Just remember to use lube if you're not wet enough or it'll chafe.

I want to talk a little about the different features of the ones I own, and how they work or do not for me based on the anatomy I have. For reference, I am a trans guy on t and my dick is the size of my thumb (my hands in photos for reference). A note about firmness: a lot of people seem to prefer grinders in at least medium firmness, but I strongly prefer SuperSoft 00-20, I think because of my dick's size and position. I still enjoy my Soft 00-30 ones a lot, but they usually leave my dick or pubic bone sore, especially because I mostly use them laying down, so my full weight is pressing me against the surface without much give. My SuperSoft ones rarely leave me feeling sore after.

Here's some thoughts about the ones I own:

Isonade grinder comes in erect and flaccid. I find the main thing I like is using it to penetrate myself cause it's the same size as me and good for fantasizing about sex with other trans guys. I wish the bottom of the lips were connected, because they just open up when you penetrate them (no friction/pressure) and there's no outer labia to grind against either.

Made to Were's Zayn comes in two sizes and varieties. Large with a bullet vibe hole, and small; smooth or barbed texture. I enjoy both, but I like how the large feels more like another person, I like the height, and using it with a vibe is very fun. I reach for it a lot.

Claudette and Ludisia Grinder are similar to one another in-use and are good for when I am in the mood to fully penetrate something, though in my experience openings that are the same width inside as at the entrance don't stimulate super well. My dick's also longer than the channels and since they're open backed I end up with my head rubbing against a towel or pillow, which is not ideal.

On that note, Lydia is my favorite grinder for when I want to penetrate. It's got a shallow, textured interior with a closed back, so once you're inside you've still got something to rub against. The opening is long and pinches in, so there's constant stimulation when you move and it's shaped just right to accommodate the whole dick-with-inner-labia-attached arrangement. (I feel like most people with vulvas would like the mini size- the small is almost too big to work well for me.)

Calypso is king in my book. I wish I had it in SuperSoft 00-20 because the raised clit at the top makes me sore, but despite that it's still the easiest to use and most guaranteed to get me off quickly. There's just something about the ridge of the lips that WORKS. My only wish is that the opening was deeper so it was more penetrable, like the Lydia model. Still, if you're gonna get one grinder, Calypso would be my first recommendation.

I'll just briefly touch on the three non-vulva inspired ones. Stella's Chest is boobs! What else is there to say. Good for titfucking or oral stim. Fantasticocks' Rubbies come in different textures. I don't use it often cause it works best strapped to a pillow and I'm lazy, but it's good! Strange Bedfellas has three Xymon tentacle grinders; this is the biggest and I like it a lot for the unique sensations. I don't use it as much as my other grinders cause I like the mental aspect of vulva shapes, but it feels great to use.

(Mini) Strokers, etc.

I usually see other trans guys asking about strokers before grinders, which makes me a little sad cause I find grinders much more satisfying. Not to say that strokers don't have their place! I'm just going to talk about mini strokers intended for people with vulvas who have large clits/dicks, but tons of shops offer full size strokers. Like I've said before, for reference, my dick is the size of my thumb, and important for this section, I have fairly large inner labia that attach right underneath the head.

So I dunno how other trans guy's dicks function generally, but I don't really stay hard enough to penetrate toys with tight openings, and even if I could, my inner labia kind of get in the way, so small round openings are not ideal. This is just my experience, but for me strokers aren't really effective for stroking so much as providing sustained suction, like a mild pumping effect. I tend to use them if I want to be able to stay harder for a while after. Both the ones I have are open backed, which means to get suction I have to squeeze shut and hold, or plug up the back. I use a silicone plug that came with my Claudette grinder, but the holes are sized for bullet vibes also and I think a lot of people use them mostly in concert with a bullet vibe (which is fine; I'm not wild about it though). I'll talk about my personal in-use experience below, but I am honestly so curious what other people's experiences with strokers are like, cause it seems SO dependent on anatomy shape, size, hardness, etc.

Marri takes effort for me to use. I have to manually open up the hole and jam my dick and labia into it with my fingers, then try to squeeze out the air to get good suction. It can feel really good but also I lose suction if I tug too hard. Once my dick shifts inside it at all, I lose suction. Can be frustrating. It's got good reviews overall though, so maybe I'm too big or too floppy? idk

Naveah is much easier for me to use because of the wide opening that narrows inside. The tips of the beak can be a little annoying (are maybe a little long?), but also help keep suction by providing lots of surface contact, and can feel good used to tease. I can achieve good suction either with one beak positioned between my inner labia, though this can irritate my urethra if I'm not gentle, or rotated 90 degrees, letting my inner labia hang out of the V. I can still get good sealed suction this way. I can get deeper into this stroker, and it just seems to fit my anatomy better. I still tend to only use it as a warm up though–prep for jerking off or before using a grinder.

edit: since I wrote this I picked up another stroker and wrote a review plus extended thoughts here

And that's it! Thanks for reading whatever this was and I hope it helps choosing a toy feel a little less intimidating. I’m happy to answer questions about stuff I didn’t cover.

#I have no idea if this will be useful for anybody but I had fun writing it anyway #fantasy toys #silicone toys

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