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You were livid, not angry, livid. You didn’t know how to process the many emotions of just anger all attacking your mind and body at once. This had been your final straw, well maybe, it wasn’t one of those drastic issues where you’d have to do something drastic. You could say you were getting a little dramatic, but it was only because you cared. What got you so riled up was seeing your young movie star boyfriend slowly allow himself to get swallowed into the dark side of Hollywood.
Young Leonardo DiCaprio was now Hollywood’s new IT boy along with other actors such as Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt. He was raising up in world quicker each and every night and as the fame rose up, so did he. He rose to the occasion, it first started with a small house party in the hills, but it gradually got bigger. The Leo you once knew didn’t spend his weekdays and weekends constantly just partying it up and getting drunk. He was a neat boy and now he was getting sloppy, but you had only thought it was just booze and a good time until you were hit with a wake up call today.
Earlier you had gone to the Warner Brother’s studio to surprise Leo with lunch, but you were the one surprised instead. You had caught him in the back parking lot with a few of his older co-stars smoking a cigarette. You were shocked to the core and did a complete 180 coming back home. You couldn’t believe, because it was just a cigarette, it was a small slow killing poison. That the both of you watch kill someone very important to the two of you in front of your eyes.
Both you and Leo had grown up in the same town and around the same neighborhood. Went to the same school, church, and even ran with the same crowd. Growing up the two of you belonged to the same friend group ever since the sandbox days, it was a group of six of you, two girls and four guys. All six of you lived on the same block, hung out together, and ultimately you all did every little thing together. Tried alcohol together, snuck into movies together, and even told each other deep secrets. However, everything changed within your group when the six of you got to highschool. That is when drugs were introduced to you all and that caused a rift in the group.
Leo and yourself ended up leaving those friends behind after on unfortunate homecoming night when the rest of the group decided to go outside with the seniors and try cigarettes. It all started because this one girl had gone to Europe for the summer and raved on and on about the legal drinking age and the trend surrounding smoking. At that point the school had created a new form of “cool” and in order to be part of that you had to smoke. So of course like any other doe eyed freshmen your friends followed, but you and Leo restrained yourselves deciding the focus on the things that would get the two of you out of your hometown.
Most of the kids who hopped on the smoking trend at that time quickly found themselves in addiction. Loosing both their health and money just to get a smoke. Unlucky for you and Leo, the two of you had front row seats to watching one of the boys of the group, Robert, start to decline. Unlike the others, Robert’s body was more sensitive to the drug and it killed it before you could end highschool. Instead of walking the stage senior year, Robert lied in a casket six feet under. making him stuck in that town forever.
After that Leo and yourself swore to one another that you wouldn’t dare touch the very thing that killed Robert and that was his addiction. However, now it wasn’t a bratty rich girl bragging about her trip to Europe, it was a new wave a fame and influence taking over Leo as it took Robert.
“Baby, I’m home!”
You heard Leo yell from front door. You sat in the kitchen, at the table with the picnic basket that had Leo’s surprise lunch in it wasting away. You waited until he entered the kitchen, once he spotted you he immediately could tell your energy was off.
He questioned, not really knowing what to do, You looked up at him and you watched at confusion danced around in his eyes.
“You remember Heather Chandler from high school? You know the girl that was stupid rich and basically got the whole school hooked on the “London Look”.”
He responded unsure at first to where you were going with that statement, but it slowly clicked for him after a moment. Heather Chandler was taken out of school after Robert’s death, because everyone ultimately blamed her for getting him addicted, as well as other kids.
“I saw you today Leo, when you were out by Johnny’s car.”
You watched as instant shock ran across his face. Just like you were before, he couldn’t believe it. But that quickly changed, when he just shrugged his shoulders, turning to grab a beer from the fridge. You watched him a silent horror as he opened the beer and took a long sip.
“Okay. Y/N it’s really no big deal. You’re acting as if I took a hot comb to your hair.”
He laughed at his own joke, but you only nodded your head. Reaching down beside you, you brought out the yearbook from your senior year and opened the book up to Robert’s memorial. You gently placed the book on the table and got up leaving Leo and book alone together. You left him to go upstairs to your bedroom. Upstairs you pulled out a suitcase and began to fill it was clothing and other items. Minutes later you could hear Leonardo coming up the stairs, angrily he burst into the room. He chucked the yearbook onto the bed.
“You think I’m going to end up like Robert?! Seriously Y/N how low do you think of me?!”
Ignoring him, you continued your task and kept your silence. After a couple of seconds Leo spoke up again and still you ignored him and kept your silence. This went on for about ten minutes and right as you were about to place the last item in the case Leo came over to you slapping the toiletry bag out of your hands.
“Am I speaking to myself here? Or are you hearing impaired?”
Still keeping your silence you just bent down and picked up the bag. Picking up the bag you side stepped him and walked back over to the bed where the case lay. Placing the bag in the case and zipping the case up, setting in down on the floor.
“B-baby w-w-what’s the case for?”
Now there was no more boom to his voice and it had gone soft now. Shaking your head and pulling the hand up from the case you began towards the door. Quickly throwing himself onto your lower body, Leo was on his knees and shaking.
“No, no, no. Please don’t leave, you can’t. Baby I’ll do anything.”
Anything you thought. Now knowing you held the upper hand in the situation.
“Leo get yourself together. Like you said it isn’t a big deal, but that is your opinion. Robert was loosing himself just like you are now and I will not sit around to watch another one of the people I deeply care about loose not only themselves but their lives too!”
“No baby I’ll change. Everything stops now! No more drinking, smoking, all of it.”
“Really Leo you think-”
“No baby! I know I can! If it’s for you, I’ll do anything. Baby even if you wanted me to stop this acting thing I’d put it to an end right away! Nothing is worth loosing you over. You’re the only thing I know truly in my heart that I want and need.”
Tears were running down his face and once you finally looked down at him, your heart shattered. You gave in instantly and dropped down to your knees pulling him into your arms.
“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry! Baby you say the word and it’s done.”
“It’s okay Leo, just calm down and we can talk. Maybe so fresh-”
“NO! I don’t need fresh air I need you!!”
“Leo I’m not going to leave, I promise!”
You said rubbing his back softly as his grip on you tightened.
“Baby I can’t loose you and I’m sorry to Robert too. I know we made a promise to each other and now I’m going to take in seriously! I owe it to both you and Robert.”
“I know, I know.”
You said holding onto him. You were hoping he was serious, because you seriously couldn’t put yourself through watching him loose himself to addiction. Especially if it was going to be the boy you loved.
**NOT MY GIF**
**If you would like to repost my work please give credit**
Tomorrow I will be posting money manifestation tips. This week post will be dedicated to finance, stability, self image & independence
You loved Jordan a lot, but you also loved yourself. Well, you needed to. Which is exactly why the two of you needed a break. You didn’t know how to love yourself and that made you realize that you also didn’t know how to love Jordan properly. You wanted to learn for the sake of the relationship so the two of you could go on to new heights, because for the past couple of months you felt stuck in the same place. You knew he knew it too, but it was as if he didn’t care as much as you did.
So when it came to telling him that you wanted a break, you tried explaining the best you could, but even though he nodded his head and smiled at you, you knew what you were saying were falling onto deaf ears. Still, you tried remaining friends with him and keep some relationship like tendencies going between the two of you, but you felt something was off. It wasn’t the fact that the two of you took a break that made you feel weird, because you technically were no longer dating, it as how quick Jordan got back in the game.
Even though you were the one who wanted this break, you still had some moments where you wanted to run back into his arms forgetting all about this break. However, on Jordan’s end he was on a high. You watched him go from declining JJ’s invites to planning functions with him. They’d be at each other’s lockers discussing themes and party snacks. As they did so you watched the excitement dance around in Jordan’s eyes and his smile get wider as the two spoke. The two of them had already thrown a couple of get togethers, but according to your peers this one they were throwing this weekend was supposed to be the biggest yet.
“You know staring at him won’t help.”
Olivia suddenly came out of nowhere from behind you. Quickly you gathered the rest of your books and shut your locker.
“Oh! I was just trying-“
“It’s okay Y/N, you miss him and it’s okay to say so. You don’t always have to be strong and put on a brave face. You’re human like everyone else.”
She gave you a light hug and a smile, rubbing your back a little. She turned to look at her brother for a moment before turning back to you.
“So will the infamous Y/N make an appearance at Casa de JJ this weekend or do Layla and I have to drag you away from your Spanish soap operas?”
Letting out a laugh, you playfully rolled your eyes at Olivia
“You got jokes, but I can’t this weekend. It’s wash day.”
You said pulling at one of your curls. As Olivia shuddered in horror, you laughed again.
“Yeah let me know how Cantu and Shea Moisture treat you this weekend.”
She said before walking off and jokingly making a cutting throat motion. You laughed at your friend’s silliness as you turned to leave for you class. At least Shea Moisture and Cantu wouldn’t be a drunk ex you’d have to deal with.
The moment you got home and started on hair, you didn’t notice as you were working on your hair, but you rushed and you were actually done in record time. Now you sat at your vanity finishing your makeup, applying the last of you highlight you looked at yourself in the mirror. You seriously contemplating going into your bathroom and wiping all this makeup off and giving yourself a real good deep condition treatment. However, your body decided against that and soon you were in an Uber minuets away from JJ’s house.
Soon enough you were standing in front of the door, yet again contemplating this decision of yours. Just as you were to turn away the door suddenly swings open, revealing a very plastered JJ. Immediately he spots you and you see a quick emotion of panic cross his eyes, but he quickly covers it with big fake smile.
He say quickly embraces you, but he embraces you a little too tight. Now you knew for sure something was up and you were about to push JJ off you, turn around, and go right back home. Instead you pushed JJ off of you and stormed inside in an instant regret him you like a punch in the face. There were for sure a good hundred people around you, but it was as if you had gone completely deaf and the only people you could see was the two of them. On the couch, displayed for everyone to see, sat Jordan heavily making out with a girl. You couldn’t help, but watch as his hands roamed all over her body, gripping onto her here and there, and putting his hands up her shirt. For some odd reason you couldn’t turn away, but you suddenly felt a hand on your back. Quickly turning away from the two of them, you turned around to meet Olivia’s eyes. She looked at you with pity and you felt like even more of a fool for coming.
“It’s okay Olivia.”
You gave her a small smile and took one more look at Jordan before walking out the door. Yes the two of you were on a break, but the real break was in your heart and you could feel the strength of your heart get weaker as you walked away. However, you knew your strength deeply and you weren’t just any kind of woman, you were a black woman, a black woman who crashing, but also a black woman who was going to snap back and finally learn to love herself without the need of any man, especially Jordan Baker.
**NOT MY GIF**
**If you would like to repost my work please give credit**
I did some wrong but I’m always right 🤪🤪🤪🤪
I would love to connect with fellow black women who are pursuing STEM and medical degrees! 😊
reppin one time for the natural dykes 🤘🏾