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junos-office-drama · 1 year

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Let's talk about concrit!

First, to be clear: I am against unsolicited concrit.

I have worked as both a professional writer and a professional editor. It has literally been my job to be open to and accepting of criticism, and to provide high-quality constructive criticism that helps other writers grow.

I understand how important objective criticism is for improving a writer's skill.

And I still think unsolicited concrit is unhelpful at best and harmful at worst.

But, let's pretend we're in a situation where fanfic concrit is appropriate.

(That situation being: The author has explicitly requested it.)

Here's are a few tips for providing concrit that will actually encourage an author and help them grow, specifically for scenarios where concrit is being provided via a comment (such as on a work on AO3) where the commenter doesn't already have a close/established relationship with the author:

The 10-Minute Rule

Perhaps you've heard of the 5-second rule for commenting on someone's appearance? "Don't criticize another person's appearance if they can't fix it in 5 seconds or less."

Basically: Food stuck in teeth? Toliet paper stuck to shoe? Tag showing? Fly is down? Gently, privately let them know. Bigger issues (like someone's weight, scars, acne, etc.) that cannot be fixed in 5 seconds or less should not be commented on.

For concrit via comments, I think there should be an equivalent 10-minute rule: "Don't criticize another person's already published material if they can't fix it in 10 minutes or less."

Basically: Typos? Weird phrases, spots of poor grammar, confusing sentences, etc.? Gently let them know. (Again, assuming a scenario in which the author has clearly asked for concrit.)

But bigger issues that require a partial or full chapter re-write -- or re-working multiple chapters? Coming from someone who is essentially a random internet commenter (especially if it's your first comment!), that's most likely going to result in the author feeling bad, frustrated, or defeated. Remember, a lot of authors write fics well in advance, so a major change in Chapter 5 might not just mean re-writing Chapter 5… it might mean major re-writes for 20+ unpublished chapters as well.

These deeper conversations belong between the author and someone they have built trust in (friends, long-time fans, beta readers, editors, co-authors, etc.), ideally before a work has been published.

Even if you have something helpful to say, you might not be the right person to say it. Think deeply about your prior relationship with the author. Do you know how they will react to challenging feedback? If you don't know the answer, you probably don't know the author well enough to deliver that type of feedback.

Positive vs. Negative Feedback

Supposedly the ideal praise-to-criticism ratio is 5:1, or basically 5 compliments are needed to balance out 1 criticism.

In other words, if you want your comment to be received as overall positive, you need to have most of your comment be complimentary.

Too often, I see "concrit" that is 90% or 100% criticism, and all I can think is -- what reason has this commenter given for the author to give their thoughts any weight? At that point, it can come across as if you hate what you're reading. And why should authors care what haters have to say about their works? What author thinks a hater is actually going to help them improve?

Remember, random internet commenter: The author doesn't know you at all, they can't see inside your head and discover whether you're loving or hating a fic, and they have no reason to listen to you at all unless you go out of your way to provide that reason.

Unless you've built up a relationship with them (ex: readers who comment on every fic and every chapter, and/or have previously engaged in lengthy discussions with the author), you're literally some internet rando. You need to prove your worth and good intent if you want your concrit to be taken seriously (or at all).

[If the idea that you need to prove your worth and good intent before you can deliver concrit makes you angry -- you shouldn't be delivering concrit to anyone, at all, ever, in any scenario. Even in a professional environment, when I am a writer's direct supervisor and they have to listen to my feedback because their job literally depends on it, I still feel it's a necessary step to establish my worth (at work, this is my skillset, past experience, and expertise) and good intent before I deliver any type of feedback.]

Now, I've heard a lot of authors say they hate the sandwich technique (compliment, criticism, compliment) because it's overdone and obvious, so I'm not saying you need to "sandwich" your criticism. It's totally fine to frontload your compliments (shove them all at the beginning).

Easy and effective compliments include:

I love how you described [character, thing, scene]

It was awesome when [thing] happened because it made me feel [emotion]

The interactions between [Character A] and [Character B] are amazing to read

You've really captured the essence of [Character]

HAPPY SQUEEING DONE IN ALL CAPS!! EEEEEE I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!

Quote a sentence or passage you enjoyed, and explain why you enjoyed it

Personal Preference vs. Authorial Intent

Too often, I see commenters claiming their feedback is "concrit" when it's really just a difference of opinion with the author. This is especially common with "concrit" that focuses on less on writing technique and more on plot, character relationships, character development, etc.

For example, anything along the lines of "instead of [X event] happening, it would have worked better if [Y event] happened instead."

Good concrit helps the author achieve their goal.

Do you know the author's goal? Do you know what story they're trying to tell? The mood and tone they're trying to achieve? The character relationships they're trying to develop? The direction they want the character development to go in?

Are they trying to stay compliant with canon, or are they purposefully breaking canon? Is it their intention for a character to be in-character, or is their goal to make them behave out-of-character? Is that actually a plot hole, or is the author leveraging an unreliable narrator?

If you don't know the answers to all of these questions, your "concrit" about the plot may just be a difference in personal preference -- and there's nothing constructive about that. Keep it to yourself, discuss with fellow readers in a private space (read: not the comments!), blog about it, etc., but don't share it directly with the author.

In many cases, the author may have made a plot or character choice that you disagree with because they are trying to achieve a specific goal, and your "concrit" is actually counterproductive to achieving that goal -- and it does not matter at all if you agree with the author's goal, because it's not your work. It's the author's work. They have ultimate, unilateral say on what the goal is.

Precision

Good concrit is specific, supported, and actionable.

For example: "You have some mispelled words" is not good concrit. Meanwhile, "I noticed you misspelled 'mischief' as 'mischeef' -- I think this might be a typo!" is good concrit. The author knows exactly what is wrong, why it's wrong, and how to fix it.

Here's another example: BAD: "The pacing is slow and boring." GOOD: "I noticed the pacing is a little slow in your opening paragraph, because you repeat several descriptions. For example, you say 'the children played happily in the field' in the second sentence, and 'the kids were frolicking joyously in the field' in the fourth sentence, but these convey the same information to the reader. If you had one or the other, this might tighten things up."

Once again, the "good" concrit explains what is wrong, why it's wrong, and how to fix it.

Remember: A list of everything you find wrong with a fic, without any clear action steps on how to fix them, is never concrit.

Word Choice

When delivering concrit, choose words that build authors up, not tear them down.

For example, I once had a reader who told me that something that happened in my fic "felt awkward and grade-schoolish."

They later explained that this was their attempt at "concrit."

It was not concrit. It was just crit. (Not even good crit; really just an insult.)

The actual concrit version of this is probably something like "I had trouble understanding the motivations of the two characters in this scene. I didn't notice any foreshadowing of [thing], so it felt like it came out of nowhere and it didn't seem to fit with the [Character A's] personality as it's been presented so far. Was this supposed to be a surprise that came out of left field, or was it supposed to feel like a natural development? If the latter, I'd be happy to point out some spots where foreshadowing might work."

(Notice this follows the earlier rule of precision: It describes what is wrong, why it's wrong, and provides a potential fix.)

When delivering concrit, choose words that are positive or neutral. If it sounds like an insult, it'll probably be taken as an insult. For example, calling something "grade-schoolish" in any context other than an author writing about a literal grade school is likely going to be taken as an insult.

Avoid words that have primarily negative connotations (things like: cringe, cringy, flimsy, cheap, gross, trite, childish, boring). Including insults in your concrit completely invalidates the "constructive" part.

Betas

If you are really, truly interested in helping an author improve and you think you have the skillset to do so, you can always volunteer to be their beta! This is a simple and easy statement: "If you're ever looking for a beta reader, I would love to be one."

Beta'ing is where the big fixes can and should take place -- finding issues with plot, pacing, character development, etc., before works are published.

In Conclusion

The truth of the matter is that good concrit is really, really hard to deliver -- it takes a lot of time, effort, and skill.

The harder truth is that the vast majority of readers are not equipped to provide high-quality concrit. So before you start typing out that "concrit," ask yourself:

Is this actually concrit, or am I just making a list of things I find wrong with the work?

Is this actionable feedback with clear, specific steps the author can take to improve their work?

Am I providing more compliments than criticism, so that my comment is more positive than negative?

Am I delivering the message in a kind and supportive manner, using neutral or positive terms, and careful not to include any phrases that might be taken as insult or put-down?

Can each of the identified points be fixed/resolved by the author in 10 minutes or less?

Do I fully understand the author's goal for this work? Is my feedback purposefully designed to help them better achieve that goal?

Really good concrit is a lot of work -- almost as much work as writing a fic (in some cases: more). Unless you're putting that level of time and effort into your concrit, it's probably not actually concrit.

And if you're ever unsure if an author wants concrit on a topic?

Ask.

Don't just deliver the concrit.

"Hey, I have some concrit regarding [topic], would you like me to share?"

Then respect the author's answer, even if it's not the answer you wanted to hear -- especially if it's not the answer you wanted to hear.

And if you're an author getting unsolicited, unwelcome "concrit"?

Try giving them "concrit" on their comments. I've started doing this, and I'm continually amused by the number of people who have no problem giving me "concrit" on a chapter I spent hours writing and editing, but who have total meltdowns when I give them "concrit" on the comment they spent 5 minutes slapping together.

But it has been highly effective at reducing how much unsolicited concrit I receive.

Happy writing!

#fanfiction #fanfic #concrit #constructive criticism #ao3 #unsolicited concrit #writing criticism #writing critique #fanfic comments #ao3 comments

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rubberduckyrye · 2 months

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HEY THERE RANDOM FANFIC AUTHOR!

My dear fanfic author, welcome, welcome!

Have you ever posted a fanfiction you've lovingly crafted from your very soul, only to get some wannabe snob commenting on your fanfiction and telling you how bad of a job they think you did? Perhaps they comment on everything you post, or just dip and go, snickering to themselves thinking that they've ruined your entire career and being so fucking proud of themselves for being such nasty little shits?

Well, I have the solution for you!

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For just 5 dollars, you can hire my "Concrit the Concrit" service! As an expert on English/Creative Writing and the subject of Constructive Criticism, you can hire me to comment a reply on that nasty little commenter's mean comment, telling them exactly how incorrectly they are trying to constructively criticize you!

Show them that they know nothing by hiring someone who actually knows what they are talking about! That random stranger will feel so flustered and flabbergasted they won't know what hit them!

Again for just $5.00 USD per comment, you too can show up those pesky """ConCrit""" commenters and scare them away, or set them straight!

Contact me at (555-555-5555) for more details!

*Note: Constructive Criticism should never include hateful language or negative commentary. The Ryebread will uphold themselves to this standard and only perform proper constructive criticism on the comment of your choosing The Ryebread is not responsible for any trolls that may or may not come back thinking they can one-up the Ryebread Each Constructive Criticism Comment is independent and should the commentor reply with a snarky remark, you may be compensated by Ryebread snarking back.

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#For reference this is a joke #Unsolicited concrit is never concrit BTW #never is and never will be

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bad-at-names-and-faces · 1 year

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Half serious project idea: unsolicited concrit for the unsolicited concrit.

One argument of people who insist on giving unsolicited concrit is that anything posted publicly on the internet is subject to criticism. Well, same goes for unsolicited concrit!

Someone posts unsolicited concrit, go in full force and critique the concrit itself. Did the commenter/reviewer mistake their personal preferences for objective fact? Are there any suggestions for improvement? Would those suggestions actually be an improvement for most readers? Is the critique taking into account any tags regarding tropes or genre? Does the concrit even give specific problems with the original text, or does it look like it could have come from a generic 8th grade English textbook? If the "sandwich method" is used, does the praise actually sound genuine, or is it condescending and possibly more hurtful than the actual critique?

Also: Is there a way to reply to the review, and is the commenter/reviewer willing to have some back and forth with the writer? After all, good critique is really about communication.

This isn't even getting into the potential for critiquing the writing itself in unsolicited concrit. I've certainly seen some that is lacking. By their own argument, by publicly posting, they are opening themselves up for any and all critique.

Again, let me emphasize "unsolicited". Beta readers and others who have been specifically asked for feedback are doing writers a favor and are wonderful people.

#unsolicited concrit critique

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whereistheonepiece · 1 year

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Thinking about unsolicited concrit (because of my own experience with it) and you know, I get where these critics are coming from. You see potential in the thing and want the author to do better.

But... Fanfic isn't about offering the most polished version of your work for some people. Fanfic, for some people, is to write something so your mind finally shuts up. It's like a cat having the zoomies for some, and they just need to get it all out of their system. It's why you have "No beta, we die like x" tags or "I wrote this last night instead of sleeping" tags.

I saw someone say on here that you're not morally obligated to get better at your hobby, and I have to agree. And fanfic is a hobby.

#okay this is a little complicated in my case because the unsolicited concrit actually was a wake up call #BUT on the other hand it kind of made me sad because they told me my fic was short #and i'm like #I KNOW THAT #i've written most of this fic in the dank dark pit that is depression and i just wanted to have something to show for it #and it bothers me that the fic is short because it's all i can manage #but i'm not getting paid for this #it's my hobby #personal

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elytrafemme · 2 years

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ART FOR MY HORROR FIC! The cropping and focus is a bit off but my pajamas look cool and I’m too lazy to bother w/ positioning.

Quick note that I’m not super experienced w/ drawing faces -- hence why tubbo has none lol -- nor am I great w/ body proportions. i wrote on here that im a shit artist which i dont think is true nor good to say BUT i am still learning! I used a ref to try n get the general body shape right but im aware i kinda fucked up the arms so. Just know im working on that and that im hoping 2 practice more w/ anatomy :]

also tubbo isn’t the protagonist though he’s one of the main characters, tommy’s technically the protagonist but i didn’t want to bother with drawing blonde hair considering i have no markers nor any good colored pencils for it. on that note the tree at the bottom was meant to be art of younger Tubbo in this AU, who did have blonde and slightly longer hair, but the colors didn’t work so I covered it up with the tree.

reblogs appreciated! everything below this is the ID!

[start ID: photo of a sketchbook, with a computer and flowery pajama pants out of frame. at the top of the sketchbook there is brown marker print saying, “UNTITLED HORROR AU - C!TUBBO DESIGNS”. underneath it in teal it says, smaller, “by @nightmare-rivulets, 05/21/22″. Beside the writing is a drawing of a pond, with a brown edge to the dark teal-blue water, and some rocks with dead ferns coming out. above it says, “my attempt at the pond”. Below is a sketch of tall brown evergreen trees with a shadowing figure standing between them, captioned, “this isn’t Tubbo lol”. Below is a snail drawing captioned, “SORRY I’M A TUBBLING AND I’M SHIT AT ART. LIKE ITS MY FAULT.” under that is a messy drawing of a tree withh teal leaves, and a small drawing of Tubbo’s face. he has a small scar on his jaw and short brown hair with bangs, but otherwise no facial features.

The main drawing is a full body reference, with the lower half of the calves cut off, of Tubbo. he is wearing a green and turquoise hoodie with a dinosaur and some circles on it, and jeans that are covered in dirt. under his hoodie is a simple white t-shirt that looks a little dirty. His hair is the same as the aforementioned doodle, but the scar continues down to his collarbone. There are no facial features. Beside him are swatches of the color palette, mainly brown and green. At the top there’s a quote saying, “Three, Tubbo refuses to tell Tommy where he’s from. (Ch. 1)”. Below that it says “TUBBO” and then has three bullet points: “ignore height i fucking suck at that”, “lower half carries more weight, so more like [drawing of pear-like shape] shape!”, “why does he fucking. look like frisk???” end ID]

#nightmare.art #nightmare.wips #I'M. SO NERVOUS ABOUT POSTING ART LOL.#also I never know how much detail to put in IDs so sorry if i went on too long #i'd prefer not getting unsolicited art concrit but if a close friend wants 2 dm me im cool w/ it :]

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tenshinokorin · 2 years

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(the duel)

The fire and the sword came together, unleashed in a single instant of heartbroken fury, and Kaeya was only surprised, really, by the fact that he was surprised at all. On reflection his timing might not have been the greatest--he was never very good at those things and had learned only by meticulous study of the people around him. But there were times--and that night was absolutely one of those times--that the shifting fractures inside him turned all their edges outward, and pain overrode whatever good sense he had managed to learn. He had never had the chance to come clean to his adoptive father, to confess his sins and beg forgiveness, and now he never would again. He could not bear to let the same thing happen with Diluc, for if he lost them both, then what was Mondstadt, or anything, to him? He might as well follow through with his true father's wishes after all, and bring it all to ruin.

On Diluc's hollow face, confusion turned to disbelief, to comprehension, to betrayal, to rage. It happened with the speed of a wildfire shifting direction in a change of wind; flaring up into a roar that sucked all the oxygen from the room and set the curtains to smoldering. Kaeya skipped a step back on instinct, and it was the same instinct that brought his sword to his hand and in front of his face just in time to parry the downward crush of Diluc's blade. His words, however, blazed past all parrying, and seared Kaeya to smoking bone.

Liar. Spy. Traitor. Better father should be dead than to hear this.

Kaeya could not afford a halfhearted defense, though he did not retaliate as he should, and somehow this only made Diluc more angry, his deflected blow falling onto a delicate tea-table and shattering it to splinters.

"Diluc, Listen-- "

"I've heard enough!"

Kaeya narrowly dodged a thrust that would have pinned him to the wall, and the wainscoting buckled like crumpled fabric where he had been standing. Diluc was exhausted, it was clear, and not recovered from the twin ravages of injury and grief. But it only made him more dangerous, maddened like a wounded animal. Kaeya went over the back of a settee only to have it flung after him by the upswing of Diluc's greatsword. It crashed into the window, and the burning curtains engulfed the damask cushions with greedy flame.

More of this and he'll burn the whole damn house down, Kaeya thought, and then realized that it might well be what Diluc fully intended to do. He had not used his vision against his brother, not since that first uncontrolled flare that had escaped him. But as the fire licked up the walls his assault only hardened, and Kaeya was soon defending for his life. Somehow he had to shake Diluc's rage, but he had the feeling that the only way of doing that might kill them both.

The sound of broken glass and the boiling smoke brought all the servants tearing up the stairs. Adelinde rattled the locked door and screamed for them both before Diluc tipped over a bookcase to block the door and shouted at them all to get out.

"Diluc, the house--" Kaeya began.

"What do you care about this house?" Diluc demanded, focusing his full attention on Kaeya again, while the panicked and coughing servants fled. Diluc's blows were so hard now that they numbed Kaeya's hands; his blade shivered like a windmill in an earthquake. "What do you care about Father? About me?"

Everything, Kaeya thought, as his sword, not meant to withstand a claymore, shattered in his hand. You are everything. So much that I would rather lose you than lie to you, ever again.

Diluc's sword flashed in front of his eyes and Kaeya felt its razor edge graze across his face like a ribbon blowing on a spring wind. In the split second before the pain followed, he looked into his brother's eyes. They overflowed with tears.

Hot, crimson agony caught up with Kaeya, his face ran with blood and he dropped his useless sword hilt to press his hand to his wounded eye. Through blurred vision he saw Diluc's form wavering in front of him, his sword lowered, his face like an effigy. Fire and smoke billowed all around him, and Kaeya's blood flowed over his fingers as he staggered against the wall.

"If this is what you want," he coughed, "then finish it. Finish me. Blame me for all of it. It's what I was supposed to do, anyway."

"Would you have?" Diluc asked, incredibly calm in the midst of the inferno. "Now? Or ever?"

Kaeya's injured eye throbbed like an ember as he shoved himself to his feet. "Never. Never for a thousand fallen kingdoms would I ever let you burn--!" He flung his bloody hand out to catch Diluc by the shirt, ready to throw them both out of the one remaining window: their only hope of survival a twenty-foot fall beyond. One drop of Kaeya's blood splattered onto Diluc's pale cheek, but then all the rest of them clattered around their boots in a rain of glittering, impossible rubies.

Ice bloomed around Kaeya like hoarfost on a midwinter morning, freezing blood and freezing fire, rushing up the walls and turning the chandelier into a frozen geode. Spikes of elemental power lanced up through the floorboards, upending the burning furniture, re-glazing, if only briefly, all the shattered windows. The ends of Diluc's hair were white with frost, and their panting breaths mingled in a confused fog. Kaeya could not throw them out the window now, not even had he still needed to do so. Their boots were frozen to the floor, along with the tiny rubies of Kaeya's blood.

And in the red-smeared palm of Kaeya's right hand lay a gleaming, cold stone, pale and quiet as the heart of winter.

#genshin impact spoilers #genshin impact fanfic #tnk wip #tnk fic #diluc #kaeya #fic in progress #untitled but #I had to get it out before it burned me #or gave me frostbite #or both #no unsolicited concrit please

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lethal-liability · 2 years

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We need to take word processing software away from certain people. Some of you need to stop writing fics

#unsolicited constructive criticism is annoying but its not bullying #and when you make a call out because someone wrote a big meanie concrit comment on your fic #maybe you need to go outside #posting your work in a public space means that you are opening yourself up to all kinds of criticism #artists who open up galleries don't start smear campaigns on people who make negative coments about their work #and if you cant handle a little bit of (very politely offered by the way! i read the comment) criticism #maybe you shouldnt be posting your works #ari screams into the void

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niamhuncensored · 2 years

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imagine publishing a shitty fanfic when you were a teenager and then, a decade and a half later, your fic is synonymous with shit writing

like it could have so easily been something you cringe at later that no one else really remembers but nope it had to be you and it had to be that fic and now something that, even if you are embarrassed now, you poured your heart and soul into then, has become a meme about bad writing

#and i make jokes about it too sometimes #but i can't help but feel kinda bad for the author #if fic is made for fun and therefore you shouldn't give unsolicited concrit #you DEFINITELY shouldn't make the existence of someone's fic into a joke about shit writing?????#it's just bullying

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anarchycox · 2 years

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Ahhhhh been a while since I got one of these on a fic:

My intention is not to make you mad, upset, or even disheartened. I'm just pointing out the inconsistencies from your reply and what you've actually written. If you can't handle constructive criticism or someone trying to clarify and help you be aware of what doesn't sound right, then I will not bother you further.

Yes, dear rando person I don’t know at all, yours is the advice I will 100% listen to because you clearly are a vastly superior expert. How have I ever survived writing 307 fics without your perfection guiding my way?

General eternal reminder you don’t owe randos fuck all, and their constructive criticism is useless. When they imply you are weak and can’t handle it - they are wrong. You can handle it WHEN YOU ASK FOR IT. When it is unsolicited fuck it and fuck them.

#unsolicited concrit

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daddywright · 9 months

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#saw an artist version of this and wanted to do one myself...#i genuinely hate all of these #poll tag #polls #fic tag #ao3 #writing #fanfiction

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olderthannetfic · 8 months

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i feel like all this discussion of bookmarks wouldn't be happening if it weren't considered so gauche to leave even slightly negative/concrit style comments in the actual comments of a fic, so people have to do it in a place where the author can't get mad at them. and i get why in general people aren't interested in unsolicited concrit, but like, I had a friend who left a 90% positive gushing comment with 10% concrit on a fic and the super fragile author is now slurring her as a "harasser"

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mikkeneko · 4 months

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Have been pondering, following the latest round of "But why don't authors LIKE it when we leave unsolicited concrit on their stuff? :|a Don't they want to IMPROVE?" discourse:

How do fan authors improve? Because it's not, by and large, through concrit. Some authors have never gotten any kind of concrit, and still improve. I've gotten some in the past, and it definitely was not helpful towards improving my growth as an author. Some authors never have a beta, and yet they still improve.

So. If not through a workshop devoted to the process, or a classroom style series of lectures, or a dedicated editor, how do authors improve over time?

I would say, based on my 20+ years of experience and observation, that improvement as a writer comes in three ways: Practice shaped by self-observation, practice shaped by non-critical feedback as positive reinforcement, and observation of other authors.

Fandom has always been a space where people of different ages and skill levels interact. How it works, generally, is that a new author comes into the scene and presents their work. Readers -- some of whom are authors themselves -- will leave feedback praising the parts they like. Writers will then adjust their style on the next piece geared towards eliciting more of the things that readers said they like. However, in a vacuum, they won't necessarily know what to adjust towards, or what new things to try that they aren't already trying.

But at the same time, these young authors are usually (though not always) reading works by more experienced authors in the fandom. They can see, based on popularity stats and feedback left by others, what people like. If they want more of that attention themselves -- or, just generally, if they want to be part of the community -- they will adjust their works to incorporate more of the parts they perceive as successful with the audience.

They will also -- the more they read, and the more they write -- come to internalize an understanding (often, not even a conscious understanding) of the moving parts that go into a story, of what makes the work work. How to pace a scene, a chapter, or a longer work. How the characters talk, and how different characters talk in ways that distinguish their voices. What sort of language works well to describe an action scene, and what is confusing and uncertain. What words are sexy and what words will jar you right out of the mood. They will pick up these tools by observation, and hone them through practice.

The down side of this, of course, is that sometimes the authors they are observing and imitating may have... less than ideal writing habits themselves. Certain tropes, flanderization, headcanons divorced from the original canon, or various other things can become endemic in a fandom due to this -- but also much simpler and more straightforward writing quirks. (The infamous oh is an example of these.) Sometimes things that I won't necessarily say are bad, I will just observe that they are not correct.

And this is how you got an entire generation of fanfic writers using strong endings on verbs that, in modern English, take the weak ending.

#long post #fandom meta

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momo-t-daye · 8 months

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Despite being half-baked, this idea has been running around in my head

So, yes, Legilimency needs eye contact and so forth, but I’ve got a soft spot for a Legilimens!Severus Snape and I’m happy to bend magical rules for the sake of silliness. (Alright, I’ve got quite a fondness for Legilimens Eileen Prince, who taught her classmate Tom Riddle a thing or two before, inadvertently, discovering that he knew more about mind magics than he let on and there was quite a dreadful mind under that handsome smiling face. I imagine she left the magical world for more than one reason, but she stayed away so long because she knew that Tom knew that she knew that…)

Well then, although Legilimency is “reading” and Occlumency is “hiding” and those two things are put in opposition, they aren’t exactly two sides of the same coin, are they (or maybe this conceptual coin might have more than two sides)? There is reading another’s self-story and trying to hide one’s self, might there not be a broadcasting of one’s self, a leakage of one’s internal subjective reality into the minds of others? Couldn’t the opposite of Occlumency be like the psychic equivalent of playing a short-form video in public without headphones or driving around in one of those cars with the speakers on the outside that make windows rattle and what not? Maybe it doesn’t have a fancy name like, I suppose, “Narratamency” or “Fabulamency” or some other butchering of Latin. Maybe it gets called “charisma” or “a charming manner” or “magnetic personality” (or “a lot of personality”) or something else indirect and more polite than “you are imposing your subjective reality into other people’s subjective realities”. Maybe it’s considered too Dark to be given a name and any study at all (in such a small society in which reputation and connections and the old school tie matter so much for success, in which asking an older student to do a favor like sticking one’s name in a Goblet is apparently so outlandish that they didn’t bother making some sort of protection against that event, imposing one’s mental concept of the world over someone else’s self-world would really be beyond the pale), maybe it is the foundational practice from which spells like Imperius and Oblivate (which ought to be an Unforgivable, if only it wasn’t so useful for muggle-control) derive. Then you get to having folks who go around with their personal self-story leaking out of them and nudging others into playing supporting roles, getting called “charismatic” or “charming” or “has great leadership potential” etc., Tom Riddles, Gilderoy Lockharts, James Potters, and so forth. Sure, you could take this in a dark and angsty direction, but I like to think that I am rather silly.

And so, as a point to this rambling, a James Potter who has an internal narration that projects like an opera singer enjoying the echos off the Grand Canyon, who constantly tells himself the story of “boy-hero James Potter, who always saves the day and gets the girl and is the coolest bloke on the block” would be the terror and nemesis of any Legilimens within a hundred miles. Legilimens!Severus Snape (who would appreciate a two hundred mile buffer between himself and James Potter) has suffered greatly, has gotten James Potter’s stupid little theme song stuck in his head day after day, has decided that putting his two cents in is worth it even though he’s broke.

James Potter, for his part, does not appreciate the unsolicited concrit on his daydreams.

#Severus Snape #James Potter #It's late and I ought to go to bed but I wanted to play around with the concept a tad bit first

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