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winryofresembool · 3 years

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Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 25

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Halloween aftermath

A/N: Sorry for the wait again! This chapter wanted to become long (for my chapter) so I just couldn't finish it in time. About the future schedule, there won't be another chapter this week but given it's only Tuesday now, I think I may be able to update again Friday next week. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for all the comments again, you guys make me so motivated to continue! ♥ But I won't rant more, now I'll let you know what happens after the cliffhanger of ch 24.

Words: 3,8k+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

Calypso woke up with her head banging in pain and a sour taste in her mouth. She also felt like throwing up. What was even worse than that, though, was that she had no idea where she was. She was still wearing a flowy, white dress instead of her pajamas and she didn’t recognize the bed she had slept in. Perhaps the strangest part was that she could hear light snoring from the floor behind the foot of the bed. She sat up on the bed so she could see who caused the sound, panic starting to surge in her veins when she recognized the dark mop of hair under a blanket.

It was Leo, sleeping on a mattress that had been taken from the other side of the double bed she had been sleeping in. What on earth had possessed him to sleep there, Calypso wondered worriedly.

Pulling a cover over her (which, she knew, was silly because obviously Leo had already seen her in her dress earlier) she continued scanning her surroundings and slowly started making some conclusions. This had to be Jason and Piper’s house, where they had stayed the night after the Halloween party. A party. Right. Her last clear thoughts were from the moment when she had seen the two Hunter girls arrive at the party. After that, she remembered vaguely fleeing the room and finding something to drink, and that’s when her memory got really blurry. And that was the truly scary part. She hadn’t been truly drunk even once within the past five years but she did know way too well what had happened the previous time she had done that. The biggest mistake of her life.

Before she allowed her mind to draw any more conclusions, she decided to rise from her bed and check up on Leo. He was still sound asleep and since the blanket had partially fallen off of him, she could see that he was wearing a tank top and boxers, which she took as a good sign. Since they both were at least somewhat clothed, she thought it was quite unlikely that they had crossed the line that she was not ready to cross. But that didn’t mean that nothing had happened.

“Ahem,” she cleared her throat while wrapping the bed cover around her a bit better, trying to make Leo wake up. She needed to do that at least twice more before he finally stirred.

“Wha… Woah!” He yelped with surprise when he realized where he was and with whom, quickly pulling his blanket over his mostly bare legs. “Morning, Sunshine. How are you feeling today?”

The panic had momentarily made Calypso forget about her headache and dizziness but now that Leo reminded her of it, she realized they hadn’t disappeared anywhere. Sitting back on her bed, she sighed.

“I’ve been better, that’s for sure.” She rubbed her forehead for a moment. “The worst part is that I have no idea what happened last night.”

“You… don’t remember any of it?” Leo asked while sitting up, and Calypso thought she could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“I do remember what happened before my first drink,” Calypso clarified. “But not much after that.”

“In that case, I think I can help you fill some gaps,” Leo replied. “If you want to.”

“That would be good.” Calypso tried to undo some knots in her hair with her fingers, sighing with frustration. “Maybe you can start with explaining why we are both here. I mean, in this room. I think Piper and Jason have several extra rooms in their house.”

Leo’s face turned bright red at the implications of Calypso’s question. He had to clear his throat before he managed to answer. “Um… You were really not feeling well last night… And to be honest, some moments you seemed pretty desperate to… I don’t know, it seemed like you were trying to escape from Thalia and Reyna every time they tried to talk to you. So, um, we, as in, me, Piper, Jason, Annabeth and Percy thought that someone should probably keep an eye on you. Just in case. So. I volunteered.”

Calypso wanted to keep Leo distracted so he wouldn’t ask more about Thalia and Reyna so she asked: “But why you, and not for example Piper? She lives here so it would have been easier for her. You could have just driven home and come to pick me up today or something.”

“That’s… that’s true but I felt it was my duty… as your flatmate, of course… to make sure you’re OK,” Leo stuttered. Calypso had a feeling it wasn’t the whole truth but she didn’t push it. “Alright,” Calypso said. “But why were you sleeping in this room? Like I said earlier, there are other places…”

“Ahem,” Leo made a coughing sound again. “That’s because you asked me to stay here. And I’m not lying about that. You can think anything you want about me but I would not do anything without your consent… um, not that any of that has even crossed my mind, gods.”

Even though Calypso was relieved to hear that because it proved that nothing had happened between them, she had to admit to herself that perhaps a tiny part of her was a bit disappointed. Leo’s reply made it sound like he did not have any romantic feelings towards her. Or then he was a liar. Either way, Calypso wasn’t sure what she should think.

“I… asked you to stay with me?” she repeated instead.

“Um, yeah,” Leo replied, his fingers tapping on his blanket absentmindedly. “You said something about nightmares… and I dunno, you just didn’t wanna be alone. Piper asked if you’d like her to stay but… you picked me? I don’t know why.”

There was a long pause before Calypso answered. Maybe it was her dizzy head making her make decisions she usually wouldn’t, but she thought there was no reason to deny it anymore. Feeling the warmth on her cheeks, she finally replied: “That’s because – I hate myself for this, but - you… you mean more to me than her.”

“I… what?” Leo frowned, looking like he was wondering if he had heard right.

Calypso sighed deeply and hid her face into her hands. She hated how fast her heart was racing in that moment. “I’ve been trying to deny that for several weeks now, but… I guess the drunk me was more honest than what I usually am.”

Leo crossed his arms, inching closer to Calypso on his mattress so he could look at her directly. “But… but… what does it mean? I mean, I do have an idea because I’m not an idiot even if I seem like one – but I need to hear it from you.”

“Leo Valdez, it means I like you! In a very non flatmate like way! There, are you happy now?” Calypso’s voice started cracking and she felt like she was on the verge of tears.

“Of course I am!” He exclaimed, almost jumping up from his mattress. “I think I’ve had a crush on you ever since you got mad at me for smashing your table!”

Calypso’s mouth opened in surprise. “You… have? But… how?”

“When you got mad at me that time, I saw some fire in your eyes. Like, OK, I’m gonna admit that you looked hot from moment one but I didn’t care about that. I didn’t,” he repeated when Calypso looked at him skeptically. “I know a lot of girls who kinda remind me of you with their shiny long hair, perfect eyelashes, et cetera, but many of them are the type of people who used to laugh at me at high school. And I mean, not in a good way. But when I saw that fire, somehow I was convinced that you were different. You have just the kind of spunk that I like and you’re not afraid to call me out when I deserve it – but you’re still fair and don’t judge the book by its cover. Fine, of course I was worried I was wrong and you wouldn’t forgive me for that mistake. But, somehow, this one time, I was right. And I only got more convinced as I learned to know you better.”

“Leo…” Calypso was starting to lose the fight against the tears.

Leo looked extremely worried when he realized she was crying. “What? I thought you’d be happy to hear that? I like you – you apparently like me for whatever crazy reason – what’s the problem?”

Calypso tried to brush off the tears from her face before answering, her eyes sparkling with frustration. “The problem is that you just made this – what I should do – a hundred times harder! If… if you hadn’t answered to my feelings, I could have just tried to accept that and eventually moved on. But… how are we going to live with this knowledge, live under the same roof… when nothing can happen?!”

Leo started to freak out. “What do you mean ‘nothing can happen’? Calypso, could you please finally be clear with me? Why did you just confess your feelings and then say… that?”

Calypso didn’t miss that Leo used her full first name, a thing he did quite rarely. Her voice was still a bit hoarse when she answered:

“Alright. I have plenty of reasons but here’s the first one: In the past… I’ve had nothing but unsuccessful relationships. I may have been really young back then, but it made me doubt myself, Leo. Several guys I really liked - and I imagined they liked me back - told me some big words… only to run to their ‘real’ girlfriends at the first possible opportunity. You’d probably say ‘but that was many years ago, screw those guys’!”

“Damn right, I would!” Leo exclaimed, slamming his fist on the floor next to him to emphasize his point.

“… And I wish it was that simple but it isn’t.” Calypso shook her head. “There’s more to that story than I care to explain right now. And then I met Percy a couple of years later and thought that maybe I’d be ready to try again. Well, you know what happened. It did not work out and I decided that when I’d finally have my freedom… I mean, when I’d move out and start my studies, I would make sure that I really am ready for a relationship before starting one. And I’m sorry, but… I don’t think I’m quite there yet. I want to learn to love myself before… you know.”

Leo finally stood up from his mattress and sat down next to her on the bed, not even caring about the fact that he was still wearing only a thin tank top and boxers anymore.

“I guess I can understand that,” he said, spontaneously taking her hand into his as a comforting gesture. “I’m no stranger to self doubt.”

“Then I guess we have that in common…” Calypso sighed, allowing Leo’s hands to remain on hers. “However… that’s not the only reason why I think it would not be a good idea.”

“What else is there?” Leo asked.

Calypso looked down at their intertwined hands sadly. “Well… I think I’ve told you my father is not the nicest of guys… But the truth is, I left home without his consent or knowledge. So, he’s probably looking for me right now. And if he does find me, I don’t know what will happen. I may have to go back. And I definitely don’t want him to find out about you. He has money and a lot of power and he’s capable of ruining anyone’s life if he wants to. He’d probably blame you for hiding me and have you arrested or something… It would break me if something happened to any of you, because of me.”

“Why… Why haven’t you told this to me before?” Leo’s grip on her hand tightened slightly and even though Calypso didn’t dare to look into his eyes, she imagined that they were burning in anger like she had seen a couple of times before.

Calypso rubbed her forehead tiredly with her free hand. “Because… what would you do in that situation?! I’d arrive at your home and introduce myself: ‘hey, I’m Calypso, your new flatmate, and by the way, I’m running away from my father who may or may not have kept me as a hostage for several years, but yeah, nice to meet you!’”

“A hostage?” Leo was practically growling now.

“Well… “ Calypso was suddenly hesitant, realizing she had revealed more than intended. “I was allowed to go to places… sometimes… but never alone… And I was homeschooled so… I did spend a lot of time at home… but we had a huge mansion… So it wasn’t like I was trapped in a basement or something…”

“But that doesn’t make it any more right!” Leo was almost yelling now. “I want to do something, I want to let people know what kind of person he is so he can’t keep doing that to you or anyone else anymore!”

“Leo, you can’t!” Calypso squeezed his hand, finally looking up at him. “Do you know how dangerous that would be?! And I swear, with his money he would only make the police go quiet about the whole situation… The main thing is that I’m here, right now, and relatively safe. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he doesn’t care where I am. I don’t know what he’s thinking, to be honest.”

Leo was quiet for a while, breathing heavily and fiddling with the bed covers. “Well… Fine, I’ll let that be, for now. But I swear to gods, or the River Styx, or whatever the hell those ancient Greeks used to swear on, that if he does something to you, I will not let it be anymore. I… and I think I can speak for all of our friends, that we all… will make sure that he will go down with a bang.”

Leo’s comment about the ancient Greeks managed to cheer Calypso up a bit. “You sound like you would physically fight him. And how exactly would you do that?” she asked. “With your tools?”

“That’s not a bad idea!” Leo exclaimed, getting into his fantasies. “I would definitely bring my trusty hammer. Or, I could build a…”

“Hey, now, I was not being serious! But you sound like you are,” Calypso stopped him by putting a finger on his lips. “I absolutely don’t want you to do anything where you could get hurt.”

“Me? Getting hurt? That’s unheard of,” Leo attempted to joke once Calypso removed her finger from his lips.

“Alright, now you’re not being serious. Didn’t you once tell me that you joke especially when you’re nervous?” Calypso remembered one of their earlier conversations.

Leo’s smirk disappeared. “Want me to be honest? I’m not great at the feelings stuff. But I just heard you tell me that you like me. For a moment I was like: ‘hey, for once the chick you like likes you back, maybe this could work out’. And then you told me that apparently your father is some kind of psycho who is still controlling you, his adult daughter. I am glad that you told me about all this but you can’t expect me to stay calm when someone I care about is in danger. You wouldn’t stay calm either, would you?”

Calypso shook her head. “No. You’re right. I would also want to help you. And I really am sorry, I wish things were different and we could… Maybe one day. That’s all I can say.”

Leo sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. “OK. I get it.”,

A silence fell into the room as they both tried to take in what had just happened. Some automatic reaction made Calypso lean her head against Leo’s shoulder as if she was trying to tell him with the touch that she really was sorry. She was thankful he did not shift away. Eventually, she asked:

“So… tell me more about last night. Did I embarrass myself badly?”

“Naah…” Leo lied at first, a smile returning to his face as he remembered some of the things that had happened.

“You just flinched,” Calypso noted. “I felt it. You’re totally lying.”

“Fine. It was pretty funny when you had a karaoke duet with Piper and were too drunk to be able to read the lyrics from the screen so you came up with the words yourself. And at one point you just suddenly switched to Greek and none of us could understand what you were saying. But it wasn’t that bad. And even drunk your voice was kinda impressive. And your dance moves were definitely better than mine.”

“Wait, what? I danced too? Gods, please tell me no one filmed that,” Calypso asked, horrified.

“I can promise no such thing!” Leo grinned, and Calypso stopped leaning her head against him, instead elbowing him on the ribs. “Ow! I’m just joking! I don’t know if Piper got any photo material of that but I was busy dancing with you so I didn’t have time to film anything. Promise.”

“Alright. Sorry.” She lowered her head on his shoulder again.

“Guess we’ll have to hunt down Piper after this,” Leo said with amusement before recalling something. “Anyway, something kinda weird happened too. Like I said, it really seemed like you were trying to avoid Reyna and Thalia and I have no idea why. Every time they got close, you were like ‘gotta get a drink’ or ‘let’s go dance’ or ‘bathroom break’. I’m not even sure if you greeted them. Can you explain that?”

“I… uh,” Calypso tried to come up with something that she wouldn’t have to tell the whole story. “My half sister Zoë… She used to be a Hunter. But she died some years ago. An accident. I think those two probably knew her and… the wound is still too deep so I didn’t want to have to talk about her. It would have ruined everyone’s night.”

“I’m sorry,” Leo said, causing chills in Calypso’s back by running his thumb on the palm of her hand. “I had no idea... Feels like I’m learning a lot more about you now than I have the past few months…” “I probably should have told you about that earlier… So I’m sorry too.”

Leo bit his lip as if he was struggling to decide something. “If it makes you feel any better… I know how it feels to lose someone important. My mum. She died in a fire. Yeah, the fire that started my fear,” Leo confirmed Calypso’s suspicions. “She was the only family I had and after that I went from home to home and no one wanted to keep me… Sometimes I ran away too… That kept going until Emmie and Jo finally found me. It… doesn’t really get easier, but somehow… you still learn to live with it. Because you have to.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling. But if you have to find something positive out of this situation… at least we’re safe now. And we’re not alone, right? That’s what they’d want for us, right?” Calypso sounded a bit unsure, though.

“Yeah. You’re right.” They stayed quiet for a while, but this time the silence was comforting. Finally, Leo decided to break it, in his typical way.

“No offense, Cal, but you could use a shower. For all of our sake.”

Calypso quickly sat farther from him. “Oh my gods, Leo, that is so not appropriate, especially in a situation like this! What’s wrong with you?”

Leo put his hands up defensively. “Was just trying to be honest! The alcohol and the throwing up did not do good to you.” “Geez, I hate you,” Calypso mumbled.

“That’s fine because I hate you too,” Leo claimed.

“Not what you said a moment ago,” Calypso retorted.

“I could say the same back at you.”

Suddenly both Leo and Calypso burst out laughing, needing to release the tension the whole conversation had created. Calypso didn’t remember when she had last laughed that long or hard but she didn’t care, it simply felt right in that moment. When she and Leo finally calmed down, she said quietly:

“Maybe we are idiots, both of us.”

“Maybe. But normalcy is not for me. I learned that a while ago.”

“Same, to be honest.”

Calypso and Leo’s eyes met. Some barriers had been broken that day and even though there was still a lot of work to do, Calypso realized that it had felt good to talk to Leo. He hadn’t judged or questioned, at least not in the way she had expected. He had seemed to accept that she’d come out of her shell with her own terms. Something about it all just felt so right, and when she remembered that he had also admitted he liked her back… she decided it was time to get a bit crazy. Screw the consequences, if they couldn’t enjoy this moment, then what could they enjoy? That’s why she let her hand brush his cheek before resting it in his hair, gently lifting his chin with her other hand so he’d know her intentions…

“Do you think… we could forget about the stupid rules just for a moment?” She asked, resting her forehead on his.

“I think I’m down with that,” Leo smiled at her softly (Calypso didn’t like admitting it but that soft smile never failed to get to her).

They closed their eyes and started leaning even closer, but just when their lips were about to meet, the door opened. The couple quickly separated when Piper peeked in.

“I heard some laughter from here so I thought I’d come to check…” Then she noticed their expressions. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

“Didn’t interrupt anything,” Leo mumbled, although it was quite clear from his voice he was disappointed.

“Yeah, no worries,” Calypso tried to reassure her as well, although her eyes seemed to be interested in a wrinkle on her dress.

“OK…” Piper wasn’t at all convinced but she didn’t comment on it more. “Well, I just wanted to tell you that we have breakfast downstairs. Whenever you’re up to it.”

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute! Just let me… clean up a bit.” Calypso exclaimed, getting up and starting to head to the closest bathroom. Leo also got up from the bed and started pulling on the clothes he had had under his costume the previous day.

“See you soon then,” Piper said, leaving the very flustered couple to get prepared for the day. Calypso could imagine that she and Jason would probably get good laughs from this once she and Leo would leave.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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thesassenachswiftie · 4 years

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Lover Chapter 3 - “Cruel Summer”

Read on AO3

Summary:

Our "lovers" have reason to keep their blossoming relationship a secret, but that doesn't mean they can't go on a proper date, right? What will happen to our flirty couple when Claire has a few two many whiskeys loosening her emotions (and her lips?).

Notes:

Thank you for all your likes and comments!! Feel free to follow me on Twitter! (@SassenachSwifty). It's mostly writing/Outlander/Taylor Swift related content, and I occasionally post cryptic updates about what I'm writing. Also, I have no idea why some paragraphs are indented and others are not, or how to fix it. I haven't worked with HTML since my Myspace days. If anyone has any advice feel free to reach out to me.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter 3: Cruel Summer

The end of May passed into the heat of June and July and eventually into August while Claire and Jamie continued to live blissfully in their breakable heaven. The end of June brought the end of school, which meant Claire’s summer furlough from being a school nurse and plenty of free time to spend with Jamie. Unfortunately, Jamie spent much of the long summer days working on his family’s farms, but the nights were theirs. Claire spent most of her days sleeping and most of her nights sneaking out to see Jamie. She often left late to avoid the ever watchful eye of her next-door neighbor Laoghaire. Laoghaire was recently divorced and had been on a couple of dates with Jamie earlier that year. Claire was thankful for that, because she may have never met Jamie otherwise, but Laoghaire was the neighborhood busybody and would be more than interested to know about their blooming relationship.

Jamie had agreed to keep their relationship a secret until Claire was ready. He understood why she would want to keep things under wraps. Frank had so recently broken off their engagement, it wouldn’t have been tactful to rush into something new so quickly. People were bound to talk, especially in their sorts of circles. No, it was better kept in the quiet of the night. However, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, inside and out and it was killing him slowly not to shout it from the rooftops. I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you. In spite of the fact that they always texted prior to their late night rendezvous, he found himself staring out the window of his apartment above his sister’s detached garage. Even on nights they didn’t have plans, he’d find himself at the window always waiting for her to be waiting below. They’d never even been able to have a proper date. He decided he needed to remedy that. He pulled out his phone to Google the perfect place. After some time, he located an establishment, but he found he was nervous to ask her. He felt like a school boy asking his date to prom. Devil’s roll the dice, angels roll their eyes, he mused, texting Claire: “Sassenach, I ken we’re trying to keep this thing we have under wraps, but I wanna take ya on a proper date. I found a wee pub on the other side of the island where I think we’ll be safe. I thought we could get a room for the night since it’s so far out. What d’ya think?”

“Really? I’d love to”

“Pick you up at 10?”

“Cut the headlights when you turn onto my street, and don’t park in the driveway, I’ll sneak out through the garden gate and meet you at the curb.”

“Curbside service coming to ya at 10 o’clock sharp madame.”

“:) can’t wait”

“The World’s End” in Montauk was a bit of a dive bar, but clean, and had an old-world charm akin to the pubs of the British Isles. Claire could see why Jamie chose this place. As a bonus, it definitely was not the kind of place Frank and the NYU crowd would frequent, which made Claire feel at ease. There were more than several groups of locals there, but it was by no means packed as Jamie and Claire made their way to the bar. In the glow of an old fashioned cigarette vending machine, Jamie hung his head towards Claire “I’m sorry it’s not a nicer place Sassenach, if I could I’d take you to a nice restaurant, but there’s only so many places that are open at this hour, ya ken?”

“It’s cool. I like it. We can just be us here.” she assured him. He looked up, grinning like the devil at her response.

Jamie ordered them whiskeys, citing his expertise as a Scotsman to get the best kind.

“Well aren’t you fancy?” quipped Claire.

“You know that I bought it” he replied in sarcastic arrogance.

They found a cozy booth and sat on the same side, like any new couple so infatuated with each other they had to always be touching. The shape of their body’s fitting together just right. Jamie was in a fever dream high just from being in such close proximity to her in public. He was finally free to flirt with her in public, there were no rules here about keeping distance or pretending not to notice each other across the room. They were simply Jamie and Claire, Claire and Jamie. He put his arm around her pulling her close and kissing her curls. “I’m so happy to be with you like this, Sassenach.”

“Me too.” she replied, looking up at him with those whisky eyes, “I know it’s a cruel summer for you, but--”

“I understand, I’m not dying.” he interjected, “besides, what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more”

“Oh is that so? Take me out in public and you already can’t wait to get me in private” she quipped, barely stifling a flirtatious giggle.

“Who says we have to be in private” he insinuated, raising an eyebrow before kissing her behind the ear.

“Jamie! You bad bad boy!” she shrieked, giggling uncontrollably. They were both several whiskeys in and Claire, who was not used to hard liquor was a bit more than tipsy.

Jamie pulled out his phone, making it obvious to Claire that he was opening the Uber app, “Perhaps, it’s time we get out of here, if ye want”

“Oh yeah, you’re right I want it” she purred in his ear.

----------

Claire had caught it--feelings, fever, perhaps love? Whatever you wanted to call it, she had it bad for Jamie. Even in her whiskey-induced fog, she knew she was getting in too deep. Damn this feeling I’ve got she thought to herself. This wasn’t just a summer fling anymore. Suddenly, summer felt like a knife waiting to cut her to the bone. How could she live without him after he went back home? It wasn’t supposed to be like this, they weren’t supposed to discuss things like feelings and distance, certainly not the “L” word. It seemed she had sealed her fate by spending so much time sneaking around with him. Between the whisky and her feelings Claire’s head was swirling in the back of the Uber. Her glass face revealed something was awry to Jamie, concerned he asked “Claire, is something amiss?” Determined not to screw it up in these trying times, Claire decided not to tell him how she felt. If I bleed you’ll be the last to know.

She said “I’m fine” but it wasn’t true and tears filled her eyes. The next thing she knew she was crying like a baby into Jamie’s chest, his arms wrapped protectively around her.

“Dinna fash mo chride, much, mo naoidheachan, much” he soothed. Claire didn’t understand a word he was saying, but it helped assuage her tears. He hoped now that she was settled down he could learn the truth of what was bothering her. “Claire, mo chride, what is it? You can tell me, it’s ok”

She felt so safe there in his arms, so able to be vulnerable that she suddenly couldn’t help but pour her heart out to him. In a voice louder than it needed to be in the back of the Uber, Claire exclaimed, “For whatever it’s worth, I love you. Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Notes:

Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger like that, I have finished the next chapter and will post next Friday, so you won't have to wait too long for Jamie's response. In my defense, Claire was *supposed to* keep that lyric in her own head, but she went full Taylor on me in the back of the Uber so here we are. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#lover #outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander fic #jamie x claire #claire beauchamp #jamie fraser #modern au #inspired by taylor swift #cruel summer

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to-come-alive · 3 years

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Ada Masalı 1x03

Wow, I watched Ada Masalı and it felt like I don't watch it for a long time! Maybe because it really took me some time to watch it. Let's go over my thoughts:

Can I just say how it bothered me that Poyraz always gotta have the last word in a discussion? Ok, he’s stubborn. I understand that! But they have a partnership, that means she’s his partner and she also gotta have a word on things. And I get really annoyed when he says that it has to be his way bc his way is the best way. SO ANNOYING!!

In this ep they’ve shown Poyraz to be socially awkward. So, again, he’s a total Darcy! And since I said before how I’m bothered by his stubbornness, I was thinking that maybe they could do a redemption arc with him a la Darcy, in which he changes this trait of his for her bc it’s SUPER annoying!

But overall they’re a beautiful couple and they look great together (I think I’ve said this before right, but whatever cause it’s true) and I still love them.

Gotta say I never liked Idil, but in this ep she was specially irritating. To be clear, if I didn’t like her before, now I hate her! She’s a snake that’s trying to ruin Poyraz and Haziran’s plans, but fortunately her plans aways go wrong. Smth I hate in narratives in general, not only in dizis, is when the villain always wins. I can’t handle a story that the leads are always suffering, crying or just in a bad situation bc of the antagonist. It’s the worst!! So I liked that Haziran and Poyraz managed the situation and that they got closer bc of Idil’s plans.

I didn’t quite understand why Hakan is not going to say anything. So he really appreciates Poyraz’s friendship? He seems not to like the island, so why does he care that much for the people there, for what they think about him? Anyways, it doesn’t matter cause he’s not gonna say anything and that’s what matters for now.

Now I must say I like Hakan and Idil together, at least Hakan would be good for something, which is getting Idil out of Poyraz’s foot. But I don’t know if they’re gonna go through with it bc Idil’s only use for the story is to run after Poyraz, at least for now.

In the beginning I thought it would be interesting our second love story between Alper, Biricik and Melisa, but now I don’t like it anymore. First, I don’t like love triangles, it’s a trope that doesn’t appeal to me bc either someone gets left out and I feel sad for them or one of the parts just messes up with the two that are supposed to end up together. Idk why I thought this would be a good idea in the beginning (maybe I was under the effect of the first ep which was amazing). Second, I don’t like Melisa’s role in this triangle. Alper is interested in Biricik and vice-versa. Melisa likes Alper so she just get stressed out and jealous of him and I don’t like jealousy stories, especially when Alper doesn’t like her the way she likes him (at least this was never implied). So I want Melisa to just get out of this triangle.

I like Sadık, he’s funny, well-intentioned and always trying to help everybody. Idk why Poyraz has to be so rude to him. I like aunt Selma and Nehir too. Aunt Selma is cute and loving with everyone, I appreciate that. As for Nehir, I like that she tries to help Haziran and to be her friend, I enjoy her character. But I must confess I don’t like Görkem that much. I loved his scenes looking for some gossip in the island and then gossiping with Nehir. But I don’t think he’s THAT funny.

I’m afraid of all the drama that’s gonna come when Poyraz finds out the truth. Hakan kept repeating how she doesn’t know the angry Poyraz and how he turns into another person in this state. So I’m expecting A LOT of drama coming from this and I’m afraid they’ll drag on this story bc if he’ll be so furious then maybe it’s gonna take a whole lot of time for him to forgive her.

Loved him consoling her after her fight with her mother on the phone. Especially after him being so rude to her earlier. And the ep didn’t end with some cliffhanger. I think cliffhangers are overrated and I much rather end an episode on a good note. Although some drama once in a while is very much welcome.

That's it. Thanks for reading my thoughts!

#ada masalı #ada masali #am review

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sapphiresassenach · 7 years

Text

A Far Away Infinity

Sorry for the delayed update, especially with that cliffhanger. But exams are the worst. I am really going to try and finish this story up in the next few weeks. I intended for it to only be like five parts, but I think it’s going to be a few more than that! Anyway, finals are coming, so I am going to try really hard to write it all before I have to go back into exam mode. I hope you enjoy and as always, let me know what you think! Also, thanks again for all the love for this story :)

Part 1 2 3

Part 4 // I carry your heart with me ( I carry it in my heart) //

The focus of her last few hours of existence has been staring at a small scar on Jamie’s left arm. She had never seen it before. It was something he had acquired since he had left for the states. Just one more thing she had missed. One more thing she didn’t know.

Had his ex known about the scar? Did the perfect blonde with the bright smile see him get the original cut? Did she know the sound he made when someone bit his inner thigh? Did she know what his face looked like when he fell of the edge? Staring at Jamie’s coma-induced form caused her to question a lot of things.

The insistent beeping from his monitor faded in and out of the background as did the sound of the nurses and doctors shuffling around the outside of the curtains that made up his small room. The constant beeping gave her comfort though, for it meant he lived.

They had put him into a shared room after surgery, but she had used her connection to get him some privacy. And privacy was something that was to be cherished as the hospital was full of patients in need of rooms and care.

A delivery truck driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and plowed into incoming traffic, causing a massive domino affect of accidents in the city. Apparently, Jamie had been hit while walking on the side walk by a car spinning out of control.

The surgeon who had worked on and tried to repair Jamie’s crushed hand told her that he was lucky. If the car hitting him had been going only a little faster, the force would have crushed his chest, killing him instantly.

Lucky. Lucky seemed like a funny word as he lie on the small white bed, covered from head to feet in white bandages, sprinkled with red from the blood that had seeped through since his last change. She could never thought Jamie could look small to her, but he did. And she wanted nothing more than to cradle his head in her lap, but she couldn’t and it hurt.

It had only been six hours since she had seen him in the ER, but it had felt like 10 years. Joe had transferred her to the break room and had allowed her to wake from her shock-induced faint. The moment she had seen him there, bloodied and broken, something in her heart snapped. It had dropped to her stomach and she felt that it would never come back until she saw his blue eyes open and smile crookedly at her.

After he had come out of the surgery, all she wanted to do was see him, but he had been taken to get a skin graph for his back almost immediately after he had come out from his first surgery.

Calling Jenny had been hard, not knowing how or what to say. The call was at 2 a.m. and she didn’t answer her phone, so she had to leave a message.

Jenny…I don’t know how to…I’m sorry I haven’t called…it’s Jamie. He’s hurt. You need to come to Glasgow. I’ll…I’m here, I’ll call if anything changes.

The thought of seeing Jenny and Brian made her feel queasier then she already was. They would be waking up and calling her soon, no doubt.

But she tried not to think about it, just to concentrate on the feel of Jamie’s blood pulsing through the hands that she held tightly in hers and looking at his eyes, waiting for them to flutter open.

She talked to him almost constantly, telling him all her regrets, all the things she would have done differently, all the things she wanted.

“Jamie, I love you. You know I do. I didn’t want you to go to California without me. I want you to stay here. I wanted to marry you. I wanted to carry our babies and live at Lallybroch. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she choked out through the tears, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Wishing with all her heart that this could be like the movies and he would wake up at the admission of her love. But Jamie didn’t move, nor did his eyes open.

The time slugged by, with each ticking of the clock a silent reminder that Jamie’s life was hanging in the balance. He lived somewhere in the limbo between reality and his mind.

But nothing was worse than waiting for him to come out of surgery. She had had to sit in the emergency waiting room with other families weeping and shaking along with her. She was used to being on the opposite side of the room and there feeling was quite unsettling.

The trauma to his head was what scared her the most. She knew the moments in and after surgery were the most vital in telling how he would recover…if he would recovery.

The moment of truth would be when he woke from his induced coma. Or if he would wake up. Would he be damaged? Would he remember her?

God, the chaos of her head screamed and spun until she finally had to get up. Kissing his cheek lightly before hesitating and pressing a chaste kiss to his bloodied, chapped lips, patting his hand, she got up from her hard chair and stretched.

She would kill for a strong cup of coffee. She needed to be aware until he woke up. Hopefully, there would be some in the intern break room.

It physically hurt her, leaving his helpless form on the bed, but he needed this rest. Rest so his mind can try and repair itself from the trauma of not only the force that had hit him but from the trauma of the accident itself. He would wake when he was ready.

Reluctantly, she turned out into the bright hallway, squinting until suddenly the bright light was blocked.

The man that stood before her wasn’t something that she remembered. Gaunt cheeks, pale skin, dark, black circles under his eyes. A shell of the man she had last seen when he told her to break her own heart and the heart of his son.

“Brian?”

~Five Years Earlier~

The next few days were bliss. All she could think about was Jamie, which was slightly inconvenient because of her exams. They hadn’t been able to see each other much because of finals in the last few days, but they were in constant contact.

Will ye come to Lallybroch this weekend with me?

The thought of the rolling hills and smell of fresh air made her almost relax. The city could be a bit much after a while. And the thought of returning to his land as his….a wide smile spread across her face at the thought.

Of course ;)

Her phone buzzed immediately.

Pick you up Friday afternoon, mnd

Happiness flooded her and she was just about to put her phone away when it buzzed one more time.

She had told him in a late night phone conversation the other day that he was too serious of a texter in jest. The smiley face was his effort of being more silly with her. Butterflies made her stomach flutter in the best kind of way.

The beginnings were always the best. A time where possibilities were endless and anything could happen. She saw everything with Jamie, more than she had ever felt before. The future blossomed before her eyes. A few years of dating, a wedding, perhaps on Lallybroch’s fields in spring. A few children running around with his mop of copper hair and her eyes.

They hadn’t discussed their intentions or what exactly they were to each other now, but she suspected that the talk would come this weekend as they walked at sunset through the fields and watched the sun dip below the horizon as they came together in the grassy hills.

Da had to come into town last night, we can drive back with him.

Sounds good! See you tomorrow.

She walked around campus that day with the most ridiculous smile on her face. The thought of seeing Jamie tomorrow made her heart feel like it had grown three times in size. All she wanted was to kiss his red lips and hug him hard enough so he dissolved into her.

So, later that night when there was a knock on her apartment door, she flung her textbooks down. It had to be Jamie.

Running to the door, she ripped it open, almost embarrassingly fast, but she stopped herself short of jumping into his arms when she noticed that the man in front of her wasn’t Jamie, but his father.

“Brain? What-

She turned to see past him and if Jamie was jumping up the steps, but nothing.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, looking down at her door mat with his mouth turned to the side. Her stomach did a flip-flop.

“Is Jamie ok?”

The pounding of her heart that was starting calmed a little when he looked up and tried to smile and shook his head.

“Jamie’s fine. I just came from a quick dinner with him. Though, he rushed me out to keep studying, but I’m proud of my boy,” the smile became more genuine as he spoke of all Jamie’s hard work.

“May I?” He inclined his head towards the inside of her apartment

“Oh, of course,” she opened the door to him and stepped aside as he walked in, glancing behind him one more time to see if Jamie was there.

Sighing, she shut the door and shuffled into the small living space she shared with her roommate as Brian sat down on the sofa.

“I ken yer disappointed that Jamie’s no here,” he smiled at her and motioned for her to sit. “Trust me, all he did was speak of ye at dinner.”

Looking down with red cheeks, she smiled a little, trying to understand why he was here. Not that it was strange all together. He, Jenny and Jamie had been to her place more than once and she did love those visits, but Brian certainly had never dropped in without notice or without one of his children.

Reading her mind, he said, “I ken yer wondering why I am here without Jamie, but I needed to talk to ye about something important.”

Folding her hands in her lap, she nodded and waited for him to continue, her nerves revving up again as he fought for the right words. Did he not like she was with Jamie? He and Jenny used to joke about her and Jamie running Lallybroch with their 10 children all the time. But now, when that image may be coming a little more realistic, his face was far from joyous

“Claire…ye ken that I love ye. If circumstances were different, I would be over the moon that ye and Jamie were together.”

Looking out the window, he hesitated again.

“But…” she said, trying not to let the tears she felt brimming in her eyes escape.

“You know that Jamie was offered a position to work under a world renowned editor in California,” he spoke, looking back to her and reading the shock on her face.

“No, I didn’t,” she said quietly.

“Well, I suspect he didn’t want to tell ye yet, but he has only know for about a week.”

A week. So, he knew when they were together the other night. Her mind was spinning out of control. California? That may as well have been a different planet. Had he accepted already? Brian interrupted her thoughts.

“Now, you’ll see the problem. Jamie won’t want to leave ye and I ken you are staying here for medical school since ye got a full ride, as ye should,” he smiled at her. “Congratulations, by the way.”

Sputtering out, she managed to find a few words. “How did you know that? I haven’t even told, Jamie.”

“I ken someone who works at the hospital, they told it to me in passing today.”

Her mouth was open as she fought for words. “I-

“But ye canna keep Jamie from this opportunity,” Brian put his hands on his knees, looking at his spread fingers, not making eye contact as he spoke. His tone was almost desperate, like he was begging her to let him go.

Feebly, she tried to respond without breaking down.

“We can do long distance,” she started to say but Brian was already shaking his head. “And maybe he wants to stay here, he always wanted to run Lallybroch someday.”

“No! He canna stay here,” he said harshly, then cleared his throat and looked at her apologetically.

“No, I ken how he looks at ye, he would never have his head about him if he spent all his time thinking about ye and the next time he will see ye.”

Brian got up and walked over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“He loves ye, Claire. He always has…and if you love him, you will do what’s best for him.”

He patted her shoulder one more time and then walked out the front door, leaving nothing but pain in his wake.

Continued here

#outlander #outlander fanfic #a far away infinity #jamie and claire #modern au #fanfic #outlander fanfiction #my fanfic

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