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banditthewriter · 5 years

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Misdial; Redial - Billy Russo

Prompt: Wrong Number AU: Reader is going through hard times and her friend gives her number to a guy who usually helps veterans but won't say no to a civilian. But instead of talking with a polite man named Curtis she ends up texting with a guy named Billy who's incredibly witty, funny and maybe gets attached to her but doesn't want to show his face. Prompter: Anonymous

So this is my 17k word oneshot because I got really inspired by this request. It took on a life of its own.

Warnings: Discussion of past sexual abuse. Smut. Immediate angst after smut? I don’t know if that deserves a warning or not. Just be kind to yourselves darlings.

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif is mine*

Enjoy!

*****

It had been a rough year. You'd faced unemployment, homelessness, sick family members. Some of your problems were a direct correlation to your ex, some of it was just bad timing. It didn't matter which was which; it was all pretty equally ducky.

Every time something got better, two things would go wrong again. It happened over and over for over a year until you weren't sure you could take it anymore.

“I can't do it anymore,” you cried as your best friend kept his arm around you. “I'm just so tired. Of all of this.”

Kenny tugged you into his chest, quietly shushing you.

“You're one of the strongest people I know. I know this stuff is hitting you from all sides, but you're not in this alone. We’ve got you.”

He meant your circle of friends who had taken turns hosting you while you tried to find an apartment. You finally found one only for it to be taken before you had the chance.

“I hate feeling like a burden,” you said as you wiped your tears.

“No burden here except Ethan’s gym socks,” he joked as he looked over to where his boyfriend's gym bag was resting. “If I didn't love the man, I'd throw the bag out into the dumpster.”

It made you giggle which was surely his intention. Once he was satisfied that you were done crying, he pulled back a bit. The look on his face told you that he was thinking about something.

“What is it?”

Kenny held up a finger. He stood up and made his way over to the desk in the corner of the living room.

“When Ethan came back from overseas, he was a mess. He couldn't find a job, couldn't settle into a routine. We almost didn't make it,” he admitted quietly as he sorted through the drawer. “He got in touch with this guy, Curtis Hoyle. He runs a group for vets, helps them find work and adjust. He's great. And he's also just a good ear to bend when you're down.”

He pulled out a small address book and started flipping through the pages as he made his way over to you.

“Maybe you could give him a call. Or a text, if you prefer.”

You were shaking your head before he finished his sentence.

“I wasn't… I'm not military, Ken.”

Kenny shrugged and flopped down beside you, still holding out the book.

“Neither was I but he talked me through losing my dad and my brother within about two months of each other. And that was when Ethan was deployed.”

You hesitated before you finally accepted the address book from him. On the page he had turned to was about two dozen names all smushed in together.

“How can you even read these?”

He laughed as he trailed his finger along a line. The phone number was a bit jumbled but you typed it into your phone as best you could.

“Who are these other people?”

“Some are guys Ethan served with. Some are guys he met in group with Curtis. That's Ethan’s boss,” he said as he pointed to a name that was basically just a B and then a smear of pen. “He met him through Curtis.”

You nodded as you glanced at the number in your phone. You weren't sure you'd use it, but if it made Kenny feel better to give it to you?

“I promise I'll be off your couch soon,” you said somewhat miserably. “I just have to keep looking.”

“Hey, I don't care about that. I just care about you.”

You tugged Kenny close to you so that you could rest your head on his shoulder.

“You're the best.”

“I know,” he said with a grin.

------

Your ex was the kind of guy who thought things were owed to him. Paul took what he wanted, damn the consequences. You'd liked that about him in theory. You had completely different feelings about it in reality.

You stayed because you thought you had to, that you wouldn't be able to survive without him. You left your apartment to move in with him. You lost your job because he'd make you call out and stay at home instead of going in. He stopped you from seeing your family.

It kept getting worse until he turned his attention on you. It took Kenny taking you to a crisis center and talking to a therapist to learn that saying yes because you're scared to say no is still rape. At that point you were done. Kenny, Ethan, your father, and one of Ethan’s buddies from work all showed up at the townhouse you shared with Paul to help you pack up your belongings.

There wasn't much. He'd made you sell a lot of it.

Once you were out, you had to work on getting your life put back together. It just didn't seem to work that way. You felt like you were always scrambling to make it.

But you had Kenny. You had Ethan. You had your family. You weren't doing it alone anymore.

------

The new job wasn't perfect, but it was better than nothing. And the pay was pretty good considering. You went to labs, medical offices, and other places in the city to check that they were disposing of their supplies correctly and that they followed all health guidelines.

You huffed out a sigh as you settled down into the booth at the diner near the job you were on today. As the waitress brought over your drink, you felt your phone buzz with a new text.

After you ordered your lunch, you checked the message. It was from Kenny.

Have you called Curtis yet?

You sighed again, this time out of fond exasperation as you tapped out your response.

No. I don't know how I feel about it. And I don't know that I need someone to talk to.

We all need someone to talk to.

Yeah but that's why I have you!

You put your phone down when the food arrived. After the first few bites, you picked it back up curiously.

But I'll say the wrong thing because I'm insensitive and awkward. Curtis is really good at this shit.

Please Y/N? It's the only way I know how to help you

With it put like that, how could you turn it down?

I'll message him later, okay? I promise.

You got the response before you could even lock your phone.

I'm glad.

------

“Hey dad,” you called softly as you walked into the hospital room, eyeing the lump on the bed before you moved to his side. “How's she doing?”

Your father gave you a hug and kissed the top of your head.

“Stubborn as a mule,” he said with a small smile. “Doc was in here earlier to check her vitals and she damn near kicked him out.”

“His stethoscope was cold,” your sister complained as she turned her head to peek up at you. “Aren't you supposed to be at work?”

You huffed out a laugh and moved to grab her hand.

“I got off about thirty minutes ago.” You squeezed her hand as you looked at all of the machines attached to her. “How are you feeling?”

Kristen’s free hand went to her very large belly.

“Felt him kick earlier,” she said with a smile. “Dr Dunning said that was a good sign.”

You placed your hand on her belly and smiled. Before you could say anything, you felt the tiniest movement.

“Gas?”

Kris smacked your arm with a laugh.

“That was your nephew telling you to be nice to his mom,” she countered with a grin.

“He says that now. Wait until he gets here. You'll be all discipline and veggies and I'll be giving him ice cream for dinner.”

The rest of your visit went much the same. Your sister's pregnancy was high risk so she was hospitalized for the last few weeks before they would have to do a c-section. It'd been tough on everyone because you wanted to be with her as much as possible but it was hard to get out there now that you were employed.

Your parents took turns spending about six hours with her at a time. The father wasn't in the picture anymore so it was just Kris. And your soon to be nephew.

On your way home, you thought about the number in your phone. You didn't think you needed to reach out to Curtis because you were doing okay for the time being. Of course you did promise Kenny that you'd message him.

And it wasn't like you'd turn down the chance to talk to someone. You were still stressed about finding a place to live. And you were still looking for a job that fit you more than what you were doing now.

It couldn't hurt, right? Worst came to worst, he'd tell you to buzz off.

With that in mind, you told yourself that you'd send a text to appease Kenny. He'd been so worried about you lately.

------

Curled up in the guest room while Kenny and Ethan watched TV in the living room, you decided that now was as good of a time as any. It took you a few minutes to figure out what to say, but once you started? The words just seemed to flow from you.

Hey Curtis. You don't know me but a friend gave me your number. I've been having a tough time lately and he told me that you're a pretty good with that? I just have a lot going on and I'm feeling a bit like a failure. I don't know how else to explain it except I feel like I'm failing everyone and I'm a burden to the people that care about me. And I know I shouldn't lay all this at your feet but my friend really wanted me to reach out. Feel free to tell me to fuck off if this is out of line, I just thought I'd give it a try.

You hit send before you could think twice about it. You also realized you never gave him your name or who your friend was, but you figured you'd wait to see how he responded.

With the message sent, you dropped your phone onto the bedspread and moved to your luggage. You pulled out some pajamas and started to work on putting them on.

While you were pulling your shirt on, you heard your phone buzz. Instead of running over, you stuck to getting dressed. And then you tried to think of anything else you could do before you checked the message.

Unable to think of anything that wouldn’t involve you going through the apartment and depressing yourself by seeing Ethan and Kenny being so in love, you sat down on the bed and unlocked the phone to check.

Your stomach dropped when you saw the reply.

I'm sorry about this but I think you have the wrong number? I don't think anyone would have given you my number if you were looking for comfort. And my name isn't Curtis. I know a Curtis though and he's the kind of guy that would talk you through this so I can give you his number if you want?

You swore and tossed the phone away from you. Even the knowledge that this person apparently knew Curtis didn't help. All you felt was embarrassed to have unloaded on a complete stranger. And the wrong stranger at that.

All of the numbers had been so squished together on that page. He said he knew Curtis so it was probably one of the people from group. Shit.

You'd tell Kenny that you were sorry but that it didn't work out with you talking to Curtis. It'd be a lie, but you couldn't reach out to someone else after that.

You'd just keep on going the way you had been.

------

When you woke up the next morning, you checked the time on your phone. There was a notification from a number you didn't have saved.

It was just familiar enough for you to realize it was the number of Not-Curtis. You had deleted the number before you went to bed, not thinking that other person would reach back out after they told you they weren't Curtis.

Instead you were faced with another message.

I know I'm not Curtis but I am worried. You okay?

This person has claimed that no one would have given you their phone number to comfort you, but they did seem worried about you.

The clock said it was just after six. You needed to take a shower and start getting ready for work. Instead you took a moment to compose a reply.

I'm fine, just embarrassed. I'm taking this as a sign that I should just not bother people with my junk. Thanks for checking up on me. And sorry for bothering you last night.

You sent the message and locked your phone, heading to grab your stuff for your shower. You figured that would be that but when you got back to the room, you had a new message from that same number.

No worries. I get it. But I wouldn't take it as a sign not to reach out. There's no shame in reaching out. Curtis is a good guy. Let me give you his actual number. He can help you adjust to being back home.

You hesitated when you read that. It made sense the person would assume that you were military considering what Curtis did, but it just helped you feel worse.

I'm not military. Part of the reason I want to just forget this happened. Sorry for bothering you.

Phone back down once more, you moved to your clothes. You still had some time before you needed to go to work, but you usually preferred to leave early to stop and get breakfast.

When you were fully dressed, you checked your phone but there weren't any new messages. You weren't sure why you felt disappointed, but you considered it a fluke.

------

The lab you were checking was mostly empty. You were making notes on their disposal techniques when you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

Your first thought was that it was going to be about Kris. Instead you were faced with that unsaved number from earlier.

So you aren't military. Curtis would still be willing to talk to you.

This person just didn't know when to give up.

I decided that I don't want to bother Curtis with my issues. I appreciate your persistence, but I'm not going to message him.

You tucked your phone back into your pocket. Even when you felt it buzz later while you were explaining that the lab was using outdated cleaning equipment and could be fined for that, you ignored it.

It had to be a guy. A girl would have stopped pushing at some point. You weren't sure what kind of guy openly admits to not being someone to offer comfort and then go through this, but it somehow made sense.

On your way to the subway, you finally opened the one notification you'd been ignoring all day.

Well you aren't bothering me. I have nothing better to do right now. I'm Billy, btw. If you want, you can talk to me.

You started to type up a reply telling him you weren't going to do that either, but something stopped you. You glanced up to see what station was coming up and sighed.

Maybe you could use someone to talk to. Someone that didn't know you in person and someone you could easily ignore if it went bad. Someone with no real connection to you.

In the end it was the thought that Kris would want you to do it which made you change your response.

I've just been dealing with a lot in the last few months. Things seem to be getting worse before they get better. My friend thought I could benefit from talking to someone that isn't in my social circle about it.

You hesitated and then sent the text. His text had been about three hours ago so you didn't expect an immediate response. But it came through anyways.

What are you dealing with? If you wanna tell me

You appreciated him giving you the opportunity. The thought of laying everything out on someone you didn't know made you a little nervous so you decided the cliff notes version would have to do.

Lost my job so now I'm working a job I don't particularly like. Couch surfing because I can't find a place to live. My sister is in the hospital because she's having a difficult pregnancy. It's just a lot

You felt stupid the moment you sent it. If this guy was in one of the groups with Curtis and Ethan, he was obviously a vet. You were telling someone from the military that you were dealing with a lot and it was just–

A new text came in.

Shit.

Obviously he was a wordsmith, but you could see the bubble that said he was typing.

Think of it this way. Any job is better than no job. And couch surfing means you got people that care. Like the friend that gave you Curt’s number?

I can't say much about the sister thing because I've never been in that situation but I imagine it sucks

That made it sound like he didn't have any siblings. You weren't going to pry, because you weren't sure how close to get to this mysterious Billy, but it was something at least.

I know that I've been lucky. I know that and that's what makes me feel worse. I shouldn't feel like this, I know that.

Your stop was coming up so you put your phone away. Once you were back on the street, you found yourself reaching for your phone again.

That's not what I'm saying at all. Shit still hurts whether or not it could be worse. Don't judge how you feel against how you think you should feel. Doesn't work that way

That was heavy. You crossed the street carefully, checking both directions as you did. On the other side, you paused your trek to send a reply.

For someone who doesn't think people would go to you for comfort, you're pretty good at it

You tucked your phone into your pocket after you put it on silent. As much as your were—surprisingly—enjoying this conversation, you didn't want to be distracted when you got to see your sister again.

An hour and a half later as you were leaving, you finally checked your phone. There were two messages from Billy.

Maybe I'm just trying to channel Curt. Make it worth your time to talk to me.

You never gave me your name

You looked around as if you expected to see someone hovering nearby.

There was no harm in telling him your name, especially since he told you his. Although he could have used a fake name.

You could use a fake name. It wasn't like he'd ever know the truth.

I'd feel more comfortable anonymous. For now?

It took another subway ride to get you home. Or, well, to Kenny and Ethan’s. Inside you waved at Kenny who was working at his desk before you went into the guest room. You started to drop your bag onto the bed when you saw the text.

I get that. Can I know anything about you? Gender? Age? Zodiac sign?

You let out a short laugh. It was a bit of a surprise, so you smothered the instinct. If you didn't know better, you would think he was flirting with you. But it was probably just him trying to lighten the mood.

You gave him the answers, telling him you were a girl and giving him your age. You even jokingly gave him your zodiac sign.

It was a step. And a small step was better than nothing.

------

“So you don't know this guy but you've been texting him?”

You looked over at where Kris was failing to knit a baby blanket. It looked more like a really sad pot holder.

“It started as a fluke,” you admitted as you flipped through the magazine you were reading. “But it's only been the past few days. It probably won't continue.”

Even as you said it, you felt a thin curl of disappointment growing in your chest.

The past few days had involved a few conversations with Billy. Well, one conversation that didn't stop. Sometimes there'd be hours between texts, but you didn't mind. He always turned the conversation back to you, back to the things you had admitted to him that day.

You had a strange feeling that he actually wanted to help you.

“Just be careful, okay? I don't want anything to happen to this kid’s aunt. He’ll need you to keep his mommy from going insane.”

It was such a Kris thing to say that you could barely keep the smile down.

“Do you think I'm gonna do something stupid?”

Kris raised her eyebrow at you, throwing her knitting down in frustration.

“No, I feel like you get attached to people easily and sometimes you get hurt.”

You thought about Paul and how quickly everything had moved. How quickly everything had gone to hell.

“You may have a point there.”

You didn't want to stop talking to Billy, but you knew Kris was right. She usually was.

------

“You've seemed happy lately,” Kenny said as he flopped down on the bed next to you. “Well maybe not happy, but more settled.”

You looked over at him and smiled.

“I'm glad you think so.”

He rolled his head to look over at you.

“Did you text Curtis?”

You'd almost forgotten to tell him about it. And since your version of things was a little different, you wanted to tread lightly.

“I did. It really helped. It got me thinking about how to move forward.”

You knocked your knee against his, grinning a bit as you did.

“Thank you, by the way. I never said that.”

Kenny wrapped his arms around your legs and grinned up at you.

“I'm just happy to see the old you. Even as little as it is.”

------

You've mentioned your folks a few times as well as your sister. You mind if I ask why you can't stay with them?

Don't mind you asking. Parents live in Jersey now and I'm not looking to move out of the city. Kris lives with them when she's not in the hospital.

you that attached to the city?

Once you're here, who would want to be anywhere else?

I can respect that

------

You having a bad night?

Bad year. I want to get out of this apartment so that they can be alone. I'm just getting really tired of having to rely on other people.

I don't know your price range but I can look around. I have some people I could ask

You don't need to do that. I already take advantage of you enough

I'm giving you permission to take advantage of me however you want

------

That last message had made your whole body turn warm. It didn't make sense given the fact that you'd never seen Billy or knew much about him personally, but those words made you feel almost lightheaded.

At the same time, there were loud sirens going off in the back of your head. Paul had been a smooth talker. He had painted picture after picture of all these things you'd only ever let yourself dream about. And then he became the thing you had nightmares about.

You didn't respond to the text but a couple of hours later, you got another text.

I didn't mean it like that. Don't want you to think that I'm hitting on you or something.

Or something, you thought to yourself as you typed out a response.

Never crossed my mind

------

The alcohol was like grease on a wheel. You moved with the music that pumped from the stereo in the corner of the bar. For the first time in a long time, you felt alive.

“Wowza girly, you're gonna burn the place down,” Ethan cheered as he joined you on the floor.

He was careful to let you see that he was approaching before he wrapped his arms around you, moving with the music. Both him and Kenny were always careful like that. They'd been the ones to see you for the first time after Paul had gotten abusive.

You were thankful for their care and gentleness. It was thoughtful in a way a lot of people weren't.

After dancing got tiring, you dropped into a chair next to another friend. Kenny had taken your spot with Ethan and the two of them danced together.

It wasn't that Billy was on your mind constantly, but he was there a lot. Since the conversation where he'd very bluntly told you he wasn't hitting on you, your conversations had been stilted to say the least.

Oddly enough, you thought you missed him.

With that in mind, you pulled your phone out to check the thread. Mostly just general greetings, nothing like it was before.

Confidence provided by alcohol, you typed up a message.

Why do you never say anything about yourself? Something real

The lack of spelling mistakes and the fact that it actually made sense had you satisfied as you hit send.

The satisfaction went away pretty quickly when his reply came in.

You're kidding right

It didn't even deserve a question mark. You furrowed your browser as you stared at the phone.

Im not kidding. You ar3 alwaus talking about me, but never about you. I don't know anything about uou

That time you noticed the spelling mistakes, but not until you sent the message. Shit. You didn't want it to be obvious that you were drunk.

I don't even know your name. You're saved in my phone under your fucking star sign. Wanna tell me why you're drunk texting me this bs right now?

You had the sudden urge to call him and chew him out, but that was crossing a line in this timid relationship the two of you had. Instead you blinked a few times to try to focus your eyes before you began to type again.

I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about the fact that you never talk about yourself. It always about me.

But you're right, I'm drunk.

You stared at the phone for a long time, watching the little sign that said he'd read the messages. But you didn't see that he was replying.

You looked you and watched Kenny and Ethan wrapped around one another, so very much in love. Then you looked back down at your phone.

With a deep breath, you typed something else.

And my name is Y/N

------

The next morning while you nursed your hangover, your phone started to blink with a new text. You groaned as you held it a little ways away from your face so that you wouldn’t be blinded when you unlocked the device.

There was a link from Billy. There wasn’t an accompanying text, just the link. Your first thought was that it was spam, but you decided to give it a shot.

It opened up to about half a dozen rental listings in the city. They ranged from exactly your price range to ridiculously expensive. You clicked through them for a bit before you went back to the thread.

You didn't have to do that, but thank you. Those are some good leads for me to look into.

You didn't want to be beholden to Billy but something told you that he didn't see it that way. And sure enough, thirty minutes later when you got out of your shower, his reply told you as much.

I don't look at it as something I had to do. I wanted to.

You skimmed back up at the conversation from the night before and winced. You weren't at your best when you'd been drinking, but especially not with you unable to get Billy's earlier brush off out of your mind.

Why would he be flirting with you? Neither of you knew what the other looked like. Until last night, he didn't even know your name.

You should apologize. At the very least you should tell him that you hadn't meant it like it sounded.

Before you got the chance, your phone lit up with a new text.

I was safe havened in Albany. Grew up in the system. The moment I aged out, I joined the Marines. They put me through college and then they put me through hell. I came out the other side a survivor that has a lot to be thankful for.

You wanted to tell him that he didn't need to tell you this, but it would contradict your fit the night before. No, this was his way of reaching out, of showing more of himself to you.

It was your turn to offer an olive branch.

I've never been to Albany. How is it?

You didn't have to wait long for the reply.

It sucks

------

For a while, things start to look up. Your job was still kind of crappie but you started to enjoy parts of it. One of the apartments that Billy linked you to accepted your application and you were on the verge of moving in. And you and Billy were actually becoming friends.

It was the biggest surprise really. You hadn't expected much when you sent the message to Curtis, but you definitely didn't expect Billy. And upon starting to talk to him, you didn't expect for that to be the best part of your day.

The conversations changed. Instead of centering around you and your stuff, it became more of a friendship. He told you about his life, you told him about yours.

He owned a company, although he wouldn't specify what the company did. He also made it sound like he'd been on some sort of leave from the company recently but he didn't give specifics.

You knew he lived not far from Kenny and Ethan. That was probably the hardest part; knowing he was so close and yet not having a way to reach out to him. In person.

You hadn't broached the subject of meeting in person. You weren't sure how it'd go over so you held it in.

With everything starting to fall together, it made sense that something had to give. It just happened that the thing that finally did break was your sister.

A panicked phone call from your mom had you grabbing your stuff in the middle of the night to catch a taxi. Usually you'd take the subway but work had given you a raise so you weren't worried about money anymore.

You just wanted to be with your sister.

You made your way to her room. Inside was your mom and dad, but her bed was empty.

“Where's Kris?”

Your dad looked up at you, tears in his eyes.

“They took her back. They are going to check on the baby but there's a chance they may have to do an emergency c-section.”

Fear gripped you. You covered your mouth with your hand as you let yourself slump into their waiting arms.

“You said she had a seizure? Do they know what caused it?”

It was your mom who answered as she wiped away a tear from your cheek.

“They said it could be any number of things. The neurologist is with her just in case.”

For the next hour you watched your parents pace nervously around the private hospital room. At some point your mom sat down, her eyelids drooping as she tried to force herself to stay awake.

“I'm gonna go get us some coffee,” you offered quietly as you went over to your mom to squeeze her hand. “You guys want anything else?”

“No sweetie,” your mom said gratefully as she released your hand. “Coffee should do the trick.”

Despite telling them that you would get it, your dad handed you his card. You grabbed your phone and your wallet before you slipped into the hallway.

Hospitals always freaked you out, but there was something especially disconcerting about a hospital at almost four in the morning.

You'd visited Kris enough to be able to find the vending machine without any help. You stared at the coffee machine with tired eyes for a few minutes as you tried to force yourself to calm down.

Kris was fine. She was surrounded by doctors. Her and the baby were going to be fine.

Without thinking, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and pulled up your thread with Billy. After a moment of hesitation, you told him what was going on.

My sister had a seizure. They took her back to do some tests. They may have to do a c-section for the baby. I've been at the hospital for over an hour and I'm worried shitless.

You weren't sure why you sent the text at first. You'd needed comfort and he was the first person you could think of to give that to you.

While you looked around for a tray to be able to carry the cups back to the room, you felt your phone start to vibrate. Only it didn't just vibrate once, but continuously.

A phone call.

A look at the display showed Billy's name flashing. Your first instinct was to freeze but you knew that if you missed this window, chances were you wouldn't get a second chance.

You quickly swiped to answer the call.

“Hello?”

The silence that met you made you wonder if he'd dialed you on accident. But then…

“Y/N,” he greeted, his voice different than what you expected somehow. “I thought maybe a phone call would be more appropriate than a text message right now.”

His voice was smooth. There was a bit of a New York accent mixed in there, soft enough that you only hear it on some of the words. You didn't think you'd have heard it if you hadn't been listening so intently.

“Yeah, that’s uh, that's a good guess. I'm sorry if I woke you.”

There was a deep, rich chuckle on the other end of the line that made your breath catch.

“Nah, I wasn't sleeping. I was working out when I saw your text.”

Working out. Your mind tried to conjure the image but without knowing what he looked like, nothing came to you.

“You okay?” Then you heard him swear slightly under his breath. “Fuck, of course you're not okay. I just meant–”

“I know what you meant,” you offered easily, because you did. “I appreciate it, really. I can't tell you how nice it is to finally put a voice to a name.”

There was a beat of silence where you had to wonder if you'd said the wrong thing. Then he was speaking once again.

“I don't want to keep you while you're probably with your family. I just wanted to say that I'm here if you need to talk to someone. Anytime, day or night,” he added, his voice a little lower than it had been before.

A jolt of heat went through you at that tone, but you shook your head. Not only was now not the time, but he'd already told you that he wasn't flirting with you. You needed to get over yourself.

“Thanks Billy,” you said with as much sincerity as possible. “I'll text you when I know more?”

A beat of silence and then, “Or you can call. I don't have any plans so I'm here if you need me.”

A surge of affection went through you for this man you barely knew.

“Thank you for that. I'll call once I know more,” you promised.

After a quiet goodbye from both of you, you ended the call. It had been absolutely thrilling to hear his voice for the first time.

You just wished it was under better circumstances.

------

You sent the pictures to Kenny and Ethan; they had both been checking in with you since they woke up and saw your message on the bathroom mirror.

The first picture was just of the baby. He had been asleep, swaddled in a blue and white checked blanket. He had your sister’s nose and your mom swore that the face he made when he was sleeping was just like the one you’d made as a baby.

The second picture was of you holding the baby. You looked exhausted but so happy, a smile on your lips as you looked down at the bundle in your arms. Your dad had snapped the picture and sent it to you.

Kenny and Ethan reacted with multiple exclamation marks and emojis that made you laugh. Kenny was also the one that asked how your sister was doing.

She’s sleeping right now, but the doctors think she’ll be okay. She’s gotta stay here for a while, but the baby will be in the NICU for at least another week before he can be released so it works out.

The room was quiet, your sister’s breathing mixing in with the machines that were monitoring her. Your parents had gone home to rest for a few hours before they’d come back. You didn’t mind watching over your sister for the time being.

There weren’t any new messages from Billy, but you still brought up the thread. You told him you’d keep him updated and you had for the most part, but the last few hours had been so chaotic that you hadn’t reached out in a bit. You knew he wouldn’t blame you for that, but you wanted him to know that things were okay.

You tapped to add a photo to the text message. You hesitated after you added the picture of the baby, your eyes on the other photo you had been sending people. Did you want to cross that line? He’d know what you looked like if you did that. Did you care?

There was a small part of you, the part that still shied away from men with the vivid memory of Paul in your head, that told you not to send it. But the rest of you wanted to take that leap.

There was something about Billy that made him the exception to most of your rules.

With that in mind, you added the second photo as well. You went back to the text and typed in A healthy baby boy. And I swear this isn’t the first time I’ve held a baby, he’s just so small.

Your heart thundered in your chest as you sent the pictures. You closed your eyes for a second before you locked the phone and put it down on your lap.

Kris was still asleep, her nose crinkling as she dreamed. She hadn’t gotten to hold the baby yet; once she was out of surgery and the doctors were certain she wasn’t going to have another seizure, she’d been brought back to the room but she was sleeping it all off. You wanted to be here when she woke up in case she freaked out about obviously not being pregnant anymore; you weren’t sure if she was aware that the she’d had the baby.

Your phone started to buzz and you smiled down at it to see that Billy was calling you again. You went over to the corner of the room, looking out through the window as you accepted the call.

“Hey, you didn’t have to call again,” you said quietly, perching on the counter with the window at your back, “I just wanted you to know that everything was okay. My sister, the baby, they’re both fine.”

“That’s wonderful Y/N,” he said, a smile obvious in his voice, “but I also wanted to check in on you. You’ve been at the hospital for almost twelve hours. Just wanted to make sure you’re taking care of yourself while all this is happening.”

You looked over at Kris and couldn’t fight the smile that overtook you.

“I’m great. Kris, my sister, is doing great. The baby is healthy and he’ll be able to go home in about a week. I’ve been so worried about what was going to happen that this feels like a lead weight being lifted from my soul. And yeah, I’m tired, but my parents will be back up here soon and then I can go home and crash for a few hours.”

“I’m glad she’s okay. And the kid too. What’s his name?”

You laughed as you stretched out your legs a bit, leaning back against the window.

“Kris has a few ideas, but she wanted to actually hold him before she decided on a name. I’m half tempted to pretend like I named him something ridiculous while she was asleep.”

That got a laugh from him. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments. You watched your sister shift a bit in her sleep, her lips smacking as she did. You could see where the baby got it from.

You were just about to tell Billy that you should go, because you thought that Kris might be close to waking up, but his voice interrupted your thoughts.

“That was you, right, in the picture?” At your hesitant assent that yes, it was you, you heard him let out an audible breath. “You uh, don’t look how I pictured you.”

You bit your lip, ducking your head as you tried to come up with a response to that.

“Is that a good thing? Or…”

Whatever Billy’s answer would have been, you didn’t get a chance to hear it. Your sister let out a loud groan, her hand going to her stomach. You quickly told Billy you’d have to call him back, ending the call and letting the phone rest on the windowsill as you moved over to Kris’s side.

“Where–”

You grasped her hand and waited until her eyes met yours before you smiled down at her.

“Morning sis. You’re on a lot of drugs right now, so you’re probably a little out of it. How much do you remember?”

Her free hand went up to her head. She was blinking rapidly as if trying to clear her fogged senses.

“I had a headache. I think I remember a nurse asking me some questions, maybe? And then they said something about the baby?” Her hand went to her stomach once more, her eyes widening. “Is he okay?”

“He’s great,” you said with a smile, feeling her relief race through her body. “They had to do a c-section, but he’s great Kris. They want to keep an eye on him for a week, but I think they’ll be keeping an eye on you for the same amount of time so it’ll be okay.”

She slumped back into her pillows a little.

“Can I see him?”

You smiled and gave her hand a squeeze before you pulled back.

“I’ll go get a nurse so that someone can go get him.”

Once in the hall, you let out a breath to release the tension you had been holding for a while. Relief spread through you like a physical presence. The baby was okay. Your sister was okay. And in a few moments, your sister would get to meet her son for the first time.

It was going to be okay.

------

You grabbed your phone to take a few candid pictures of Kris meeting the baby for the first time. You unlocked it and saw a text from Billy. Since the nurse wasn’t there with the baby yet, you quickly opened the message.

It’s definitely not a bad thing. I’ll talk to you later.

A smile spread over you at that, warmth curling in your stomach. You didn’t want to think that way, but you wondered if maybe Billy was pleasantly surprised by your looks. If there was even a small part of him that had found you attractive.

Casting that to the side for the time being, you opened up your camera. You were just in time to catch your sister bursting in tears the moment the nurse carried the baby into the room.

------

Things started to come together after that.

The job had gotten better now that you’d been doing it longer. Your bosses had been pleased with your work and even mentioned maybe turning you into a trainer at some point.

Kris had moved in temporarily with your parents while she healed up. You went to Jersey to see them as much as you could. Well, mostly just to see baby Liam.

And then there was the thing with Billy. Since he had made the leap into phone calls, the two of you were in near constant contact. You still preferred to send a text and see if he could talk, but he never turned you down.

The only time you called him without checking first was your first night in your new apartment. Kenny and Ethan had left with the half empty pizza box, leaving you in the middle of your living room floor with a thing of beer and all of your boxes from storage.

It wasn’t a lot, but it was yours. You had been so happy that you had grabbed the phone and called Billy without hesitation.

“Hey,” he greeted sounding pleased to hear from you. “This is a nice surprise. What’s up?”

You smiled and leaned back so that you were lying down in the middle of the floor.

“I am about to spend the first night in my own apartment and I owe it all to you,” you said with a smile so wide that it hurt your cheeks. “If you hadn’t sent me those listings, I don’t think I ever would have found this place.”

Or maybe you would have but it would have taken a lot longer.

“I’m glad it’s working out for you,” he said with a smile in his voice, “you deserve it Y/N. I’m just glad that I was able to do something to help.”

You thought back to the first time you had messaged him, on accident or not, and how he had said that people wouldn’t go to him for comfort. And now when something happened to you, good or bad, he was the first person you thought of.

That thought stayed with you for a while after that conversation. Somehow this man who you hadn’t meant to contact had become very important to you. And it was more than it had started out to be. You would honestly say now that the two of you were actual friends.

But maybe you wanted more than that. Or maybe you just wanted more than you had. The texts, the phone calls, they made your days better. But you would like to actually meet the man that meant so much to you.

You just weren’t sure how to broach the subject.

A few weeks after you moved into your apartment, you were on the phone with Billy while he complained about something with his company. He always kept it vague, but from what you could tell, he was having problems with some of his outsourced help.

You weren’t sure where the courage came from, but you said the words before you could think twice.

“You know, if you wanted to get together for a drink and complain about this in person, I can think of a few places nearby that have pretty good food.”

The silence was almost deafening.

“I don’t, well, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.”

It felt like a kick to the chest. You hadn’t been aware how much you’d been hoping for this until it was pulled away.

“Oh, yeah, I understand,” you said, hoping that he couldn’t hear the disappointment in your voice. “It was just a thought. Don’t worry about it.”

Embarrassment and rejection spread over you, heat filling you face as you tried to think of any way to change the subject. You were also thinking about maybe changing your name and leaving the city, but only a little bit.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he explained quickly, his words a rush as if he knew what you were thinking. “I’d love to get a drink with you. I just don’t think right now is a good time.”

Did he mean right now as in today, a nondescript Tuesday? Or did he mean at this point in your friendship?

“Okay,” you said quietly, drawing the word out a few extra seconds. “Well let me know if you change your mind?”

“I will,” he promised, his voice a little more sure than it was before. “I will.”

------

The picture of you from the hospital was the first that you sent, but not the last. It wasn’t always of you but of something you came across, but just like the phone calls, it was a change in the routine. Every now and then there would be part of you in the photo. And then finally you just took the dive and sent him a selfie of you on the subway one day.

The longest part of my day is what you had captioned the photo. You were pulling a face to the camera, but you still thought it looked like an okay picture.

You saw when he opened the message. You saw him start to type and then watched the bubble disappear. That happened twice more before a response finally came through.

You look amazing for someone who spends all day talking about medical waste.

As if those two things were mutually exclusive, but you had a feeling he just wanted a reason to compliment you. You smiled and started to respond but a message came through from him.

It was a photo. Your heart started to race in anticipation and you couldn’t help the disappointment when you opened it to see that it wasn’t a photo of him. Not really.

It was a desk with papers scattered over it. There was a glass of some amber liquid and a hand wrapped around the glass. It was a nice hand, you thought with a smile.

This is how I spend most of my evenings these days

It might not be his face, but it was something. You weren’t sure what it was about him, but you could tell that he had walls up. Considering you had refused to give him your name for the first few weeks that you knew each other, you couldn’t really blame him.

It opened up something new once more. Now he replied to your photos with pictures of his own. There was never a picture of his face, but the photos did help you start to piece together a mostly complete image of the man you talked to.

He was tall, if the length of this legs were any indication. You were more than a little obsessed with his hands; it wasn’t just dirty thoughts although there were plenty of those. You could also tell from a few pictures that included his torso that he wore a lot of suits. There was even one picture where he’d been in bed that you spent a lot of time thinking about.

There’s no way he could take a picture of his bare stomach and his legs which were barely covered by a sheet and think that it was in any way platonic. You spent a lot of time staring at the lines of his abs because it kept you from trying to figure out if the bulge was from the sheet being bunched up or… from something else.

You decided to test a theory. If he was going to send that picture without a hint as to if you should comment or not, you were going to do the same. As you got ready for sleep, you decided to do something different than your usual ratty t-shirt and sweats.

It wasn’t easy to take the picture. You weren’t wearing a shirt or a bra, but you were on your stomach so nothing was visible except your bare back. And the soft cotton shorts that looked more like underwear than anything else. You positioned the camera so that it caught the fact that you were nude from the waist up. With your head on the pillow, you gave a lazy smile to the camera and snapped the picture.

Once you were satisfied that it looked alright but not like you were trying too hard, you added a caption and sent the photo to Billy.

Sweet dreams!

You quickly got up and put on the ratty t-shirt that you had had on standby. You left on the shorts because they were actually pretty comfortable. By time you got back to the bed, your phone was blinking with a message.

From Billy. As if it could have been anyone else.

I don’t think sweet is the word to describe my dreams after that

You bit your lip as you rolled over in the bed, typing up a response.

Oh? And what word would you use?

His reply came in seconds of him reading your text.

Wet

Your breath caught in your throat at that simple word and what he meant by it. Heat spread down your chest and lower, so much lower. You clenched your legs together, burying your face into your pillow as you tried to calm your breathing. So he wasn’t as unaffected by you as you had once thought.

Your phone buzzing had you sitting up in a hurry. Billy was calling you. After those texts, you weren’t sure you could talk to him without bursting into flames.

Finally, something good came from the two of you only talking over the phone and not in person.

“Hello?” God, were you really that breathless? Way to be obvious.

“Hey,” he greeted back, his voice almost apprehensive. “Listen, I didn’t want to do this over a text. If I overstepped with that, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said something like that without–”

“Yeah, please don’t take that back. Not unless you didn’t mean it,” you added because now you were feeling a little insecure.

You heard him let out an audible sigh.

“I meant it,” he said lowly, his voice making your stomach flip. “You’re gorgeous. And that photo? Kind of broke me.”

“Oh. Well there’s always more where that came from,” you teased as you fingered the hem of your shirt.

He groaned, the noise loud in your ears. You couldn’t help but wonder in what other circumstances he’d make noises like that. If you could make him make that sound again. How it would feel against your skin.

“Y/N, if you–”

He was going to give you a chance to back down with your dignity intact but you’d decided that dignity wasn’t that important right then.

“Do you want me to tell you what I thought when you sent me that first picture? The one where you were holding a glass of alcohol and surrounded by papers?”

“Sure.” His voice was so low that you barely heard it.

“I was thinking about your fingers. They looked long, strong. I couldn’t help but wonder what they’d be good at. Playing the piano, maybe. But I also thought they’d be good at other things. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what they’d look like against my skin.”

It wasn’t the sexiest thing you’d ever said, but you’d never done this before. It was new territory for you but like so many other times, you jumped head first in with Billy at your side.

“You sent that one picture of you in a skirt and all I could think about was sliding my hand up your thighs.” He seemed almost timid as he spoke, as if he wasn’t sure this is what you wanted. At your very approving noise, his tone got a little more confident. “Wanted to know if I could make you come apart with just my hands.”

You bit your lip as you squeezed your thighs together again.

“Considering how good you’re doing with just your voice? I’m pretty sure you’d have no trouble with your hands.”

He laughed, low and short. You had the phone pressed so hard to your ear that you were pretty sure you could hear his breathing pick up at that.

“You thinking about my hands on you? Running up your thighs? That picture didn’t leave much to the imagination,” he reminded you in a downright filthy tone, earning a muffled moan as your hips gave aborted little thrusts. “What about you, huh? Have you ever touched yourself and thought about me?”

You hadn’t. It felt like a betrayal of your friendship so you never crossed that line. But now? You dragged your nails up your thigh, biting your lip at the feeling. Then you cupped yourself, the heel of your palm pressing down against your clit through the shorts.

“I am now,” you whispered, voice breathy and stuttered as you thrust against your hand. “Have you? Thought about me like that?”

You needed to know. His answer was a moan, deep and guttural as if he was taking himself in hand.

“I wish I could see that,” you said with a laugh as you slipped your hand under your shorts, fingers slipping between your folds to tease at your clit. “It’s not just your dreams that are wet,” you teased breathlessly.

He moaned again, earning a grin from you.

“You’re wet just from my voice? Like it that much?” His breath audibly hitched. “Fuck I don’t think I’ve been this hard this fast before. Pretty sure I’m lightheaded.”

You laughed, biting your lip as your fingers continued to play with your clit. You’d never laughed while doing something like this before. Sex with Paul had always been either perfunctory or a terrifying experience. And before then it was always just both you and your partners trying to get off and get gone.

Your relationship with Billy, as strange as it was, was the first time you’d ever felt like this before.

“Only enough blood to work one head at a time,” you joked, your eyes closing as you started to push a finger inside. “Your hands look bigger than mine. I wonder how many fingers I could take.”

“Fuck Y/N,” he said around a groan, a slight laugh at the end. “I bet you could take however many I gave you. Bet I could make you scream.”

You bet he could too. You back arched as you pumped two fingers in and out, the heel of your palm rubbing almost painfully against your clit. It’d been a long, long time since you’d been this turned on and you knew you wouldn’t last long. You bit your lip to hold in a whine, but Billy’s voice called out to you.

“C’mon, you don’t have roommates anymore. Lemme hear you. Don’t hold back,” he half pleaded, half demanded, his own breathing coming out in bursts. He must be close too.

You let down your guard, letting him hear the noises you made. Normally you’d be too embarrassed but right then, all you wanted to do is let him hear you as you came apart at the seams. You arched and writhed as your hand moved, fucking yourself hard and fast. Your other hand released the phone, trapping it between your ear and shoulder so that you could reach under your shirt and squeeze your breast.

“Billy,” you called on a gasp, his name tearing out of you as you got closer to your climax. “Please Billy, I’m so close.”

You weren’t sure what you were asking for. You were dizzy with arousal, your whole body aching with need and so close to release. Whatever you wanted, Billy seemed to understand your pleas.

“C’mon Y/N, come for me. Lemme hear you. Imagine it’s my hand on you, making you feel that good. C’mon, let go.”

You cried out wordlessly as your orgasm finally crashed over you, clamping your thighs together so hard you were worried you might break your own hand. You came back to your senses in time to hear as Billy swore through his own orgasm, your name falling off his lips a few times.

You slumped back on the bed, chest heaving as you fought for air. You knew you’d never come like that before, never felt your body lose all energy the moment it passed. If that’s what you had been missing all this time, no wonder people talked about sex all the time.

And that wasn’t even sex. That was just you with your own hand and Billy’s voice in your ear. Imagine how it’d be in person.

That felt like a splash of ice cold water. You sat up in the bed, pulling your hand out of your shorts and wincing as wiped your hand off on your shirt. You were holding the phone to your ear still, but it was quiet on the other line.

Maybe he had fallen asleep? It would be for the best. You needed to think. Before you could figure out if you should just hang up, Billy’s voice called to you.

“Is it… are you okay?”

How honest should you be? You bit your lip. Then you curled your legs up and into your chest.

“I just… wasn’t expecting that? That we did something like that and I’ve never even seen your face.”

You just wanted to be honest with him. After what you’d just shared, surely you owed him that much. His continued silence made you start to feel a little uncomfortable but you didn’t say anything.

“Without seeing my face, you can imagine whatever you want,” he said bitterly, surprising you.

“I don’t want to imagine anything or anyone else. I just would like to have been able to picture you, is all.”

He spoke before you could try to explain.

“Well we don’t have to worry about it, because it won’t happen again.”

You called his name, but the line dropped. With tears starting to gather in your eyes, you tried to call him back but it went straight to voicemail.

You hesitated as you brought up your text thread. Biting your lip, you typed up a message to him.

I don’t know what I did wrong. I know that you have your reasons for not showing me your face, but after that? You have to know that I don’t care what you look like. If that’s what this is about. I just want you Billy, no matter what.

You hadn’t meant to be that honest with him, but you couldn’t deny it anymore. You wanted Billy; you wanted his friendship, you wanted his wit, you wanted his deep philosophies, you wanted his corny jokes. You wanted a chance to meet the man you were falling for.

You stared at the little notification that would tell you he had read the message, but it didn’t appear. The longer you stared, the harder it got to see because tears had started to fall.

Even when you finally went to sleep, there was nothing to show that Billy had read your message.

------

“You look like shit,” Kenny said as he stepped into your apartment. “No seriously, I haven’t seen you this bad since Paul. What’s going on?”

You wiped at your eyes and gestured for him to follow you to the couch. There you grabbed your phone, a comforting gesture. It’d been five days and you still hadn’t heard from Billy. Sometime the morning after he’d hung up on you, you’d noticed that he had read the message you sent. But there still hadn’t been a reply.

He ignored all of your phone calls. You sent a few more texts, asking him to please talk to you, but they were met with silence.

They were all read, but none of them were replied to. It hurt so much that you finally stopped texting him. But it didn’t mean you gave up on hoping for a reply.

Kenny mentioning that he hadn’t seen you like this since Paul had almost made you laugh. You felt pathetic, but you knew it was true. As your best friend wrapped his arm around you, you buried your face into his shoulder and let yourself cry for the first time since that night.

“Y/N, you’re scaring me. What happened?”

It took a few tries before you finally explained it.

“Remember how I said I contacted that Curtis guy? Well, it turns out I had the number wrong and I got someone else instead.” Kenny started to get worried, but you shook your head as you tried to wipe away your tears. “It was this guy who was funny and nice and even though he wasn’t who I meant to talk to, I kept in touch with him. We’ve been talking for a few months now.”

You explained it all to him. For the first time, you laid it all out on the table. You started with how much his original messages helped you, to your drunken text about him not talking about himself, to him calling while you were at the hospital with Kris, to the flirty texts and pictures. You didn’t exactly mince words when you told him about the phone sex, although you didn’t go into detail.

And you ended it by telling him about Billy’s reaction when you mentioned how you’d never seen his face before.

“He just hung up? And now the bastard is ghosting you? Give me your phone, let me give him a piece of my mind,” he joked as he reached for your phone. Then he reached out to cup your cheek. “Forget him babe. If he can’t see that you were genuinely interested in him without even seeing him and therefore wouldn’t give a damn if he looked like a tree, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

You knew he’d say something like that because that was just the kind of guy Kenny was. You leaned into his arm and sighed, your eyes darting over to your phone.

“Easier said than done,” you complained lightly.

Even if you could forget him, you weren’t sure you really wanted to. Despite how it ended, knowing Billy had really opened you up. You didn’t want to forget that too.

------

“Who is a handsome boy? That’s right, it’s you,” you cooed at Liam, bouncing him a bit in your arms. “God you made one cute kid sis. It must have skipped you and gone straight to him.”

Kris swatted at you with the towel she was folding.

“I thought you came over here to spend time with us, not insult me. Just for that, you’re on diaper duty.”

You grinned at her and then looked back down at the baby in your arms. As far as you could tell, he didn’t look anything like his deadbeat dad who had disappeared the moment he found out he’d knocked your sister up. She had never really been scared to do it alone, not in the way you had expected her to be. No, her fear hadn’t come until they told her it was a high risk pregnancy.

But it worked out in the end. There was a happy baby boy that was healthy as an ox and your sister was all patched up too. She’d even probably be able to have more kids down the road if she wanted.

You’d finally told Kris everything about Billy. She had taken the high road and hadn’t said ‘I told you so’ even though she had. She’d told you that you’d get attached and get hurt, but you’d ignored her.

It was your job as her little sister to not listen to her. You were pretty sure you’d signed a contract at birth.

“You thinking about that douchebag again?”

You snorted as you looked over at Kris. She was sitting in the recliner with laundry piled up on the coffee table, grinning at you as she folded it all. And while once upon a time douchebag would have referred to Paul, you knew she meant it about Billy this time.

“Kenny said I should forget him,” you replied as you looked back down at Liam who was yawning, his eyes starting to droop.

“I always liked that guy,” Kris said as she handed you Liam’s pacifier.

You pressed it against his lips and watched as he immediately put it into his mouth, the gentle sound of sucking filling the silence as he slowly started to drift off. You tucked him up into your arms and rocked back and forth to help lull him to sleep.

“The thing is, I don’t want to forget Billy. Meeting him, our conversations and what came of it? It showed me that I can open up to people still. After everything with Paul, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to that point again, but I did. And it’s because of Billy.”

Kris raised her eyebrow at you, obviously not believing that was all.

“And because you’re still in love with him, right?”

Well. You’d never been able to lie to your sister.

“Yeah, apparently,” you sighed as you looked down at Liam. “It’s been almost two weeks. If I can’t forget Billy, maybe it’s at least time for me to try to move on.”

It was the least you could do.

------

The company you were going to was actually the one that Ethan worked for. He had told you that he’d meet you at the front door so he could lead you around. Apparently the company had recently added a medical aspect and your company needed to make sure that they were not only equipped for anything they might take on, but also that they were prepared for any disposals.

Ethan met you at the front of the large warehouse like he said, grinning at you as he did.

“Welcome to Anvil,” he said as he held the door open for you. “I don’t know what all you need to see or do; Mr Russo doesn’t work from the office much since the accident.”

You pulled your tablet out of your bag and looked over at Ethan curiously as you unlocked it.

“The accident?”

Ethan motioned to his face before he opened another door for you, showing you into a large open space where people were working out and sparring.

“It’s the reason he looked into expanding with a few medics on the payroll. He was doing a job with one of his teams and there was an accident. Huge explosion, killed a few guys. He had been pulling the client to safety and got hit in the face by shrapnel.” He gestured to his face again, lowering his voice as the two of you passed by some of the recruits that were sparring. “He’s pretty scarred up. Guy was ridiculously hot before the accident and I think it’s the vanity that makes him stay home as much as he does now.”

You felt sympathy for this Mr Russo. You couldn’t imagine having to face a life after becoming disfigured like that. Hopefully he had people in his life that helped him.

“He’s still pretty hot, actually,” Ethan said as he bumped into your arm. “I’ve thought about hitting on him just so he knows that he’s not some kind of monster.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes. Before you could say anything else, Ethan gestured to a set of doors that were labeled Medical Office. When you pushed them open, you saw a few people milling around what resembled a doctor’s office.

“Guys, this is Y/N Y/L/N from that one medical company. She’s here to make sure we aren’t idiots when it comes to syringes,” Ethan joked with a wink in your direction. “Y/N, this is Jake Pell, Lorraine Morrow, and Curtis Hoyle. They are our medics.”

The name almost didn’t register, but then you were struck with it. The black man who was the third to shake your hand was the guy you were supposed to have sent a text to. Kenny had given you this man’s number in your time of need.

“Uh, hi,” you greeted, pulling your hand back and clearing your throat. You needed to be professional right now. “It’s not that we think you guys are idiots, but the government has very specific regulations for these kind of things. It’s my job to go to labs, medical offices, and apparently security firms who open medical offices to make sure that everyone is properly trained.”

Lorraine and Jake seemed to defer to Curtis, so you ended up spending more one on one time with him that you thought you would. Somehow you were able to curb your urge to tell him that you’d almost met him once more.

But every time you thought about mentioning it, mentioning that Kenny had tried to give you his number so that you could talk to someone, you thought about who you ended up talking to instead. At least this time when your mind went to Billy, there was a reason.

And you remembered that Billy had mentioned that he thought he knew the Curtis you had mentioned. The thought of Curtis knowing Billy, maybe knowing how to reach him since you had been ignored, made your chest hurt.

And yeah, maybe part of you wondered if there was any chance that Billy had mentioned you. Somehow you doubted it.

At some point in your tour around the office, making sure everything was up to standards, Curtis got a text message.

“Ah, the boss man is here,” he said as he looked up at you. “Does he need to be down here for this?”

“Well you three are the medics, so technically I just need to make sure that you guys know what you’re doing. But I do need him to sign a few things actually.”

Curtis nodded and typed something up. After a few moments, his phone dinged and he read it quickly.

“He’s gonna be in his office for a while. Once we’re done here, I can walk you up that way.”

You kept that in mind as you went over the rest of the information with them. Once you were satisfied, you had them sign off on the procedures. Then you turned to Curtis and gave him a smile.

“Lead the way Mr Hoyle,” you said with a nod.

Curtis walked beside you through the halls. You’d noticed the peculiar gait he had and it took a moment to realize that he probably had a prosthetic limb. You started to feel bad for asking him to take you but you remembered that he had offered.

At the office, you remembered what Ethan had said about Mr Russo’s scars. At least you would be prepared. You didn’t want the man to feel worse than he probably already did considering he apparently often hid himself from the world.

Curtis knocked on the door and pushed it open.

“Miss Y/L/N needs your signature,” he said before he stepped out. “It was nice to meet you. Thanks for the training.”

“Of course Mr Hoyle, thank you. I’ll email you all the copies of what you signed when I get back to the office.”

When you stepped into the office, you saw Mr Russo behind his desk. He was looking up at you curiously and you tried not to stare. You crossed over to his desk with the tablet in hand.

You knew what Ethan had meant. Yeah, the scars were bad, but he was still ridiculously attractive. It really wasn’t fair.

“Good afternoon Mr Russo. I just need a few signatures on these procedures. I’m going to email you and your people copies so you can look over it and reach out if you have any questions.”

Mr Russo still stared up at you, but the curiosity had turned to blatant staring at some point. You shifted on your feet as you held the tablet out, wondering why he wasn’t reacting at all.

Did you need to go get Curtis again?

“Mr Russo?”

He seemed to snap back to focus. He grabbed the tablet from you, standing up and walking over to your side as he looked it over. He removed the stylus and signed the first page, gesturing to you with it. You looked it over from the side and flipped through to the next page where you needed his signature.

“Right there,” you said as you tapped the box so he could sign something hastily. “Aaaaand here,” you added as you flipped to the next one.

Once he had finished signing, he held the tablet out to you. You reached out for it with a smile, your eyes darting from his intense gaze to the device. You reached out to accept the stylus but froze.

You had stared at some of the photos Billy had sent you for a long time. Almost to the point where you thought you could draw his hands from memory. Was it completely insane for you to think that these hands looked so much like his?

You looked back up and met his eyes as you took the stylus, your finger brushing against his. His mouth opened slightly, those dark eyes narrowing in on you.

“Thank you Mr Russo,” you said softly, uncertain. It was all in your head, right? You just missed Billy. “I’ll email the copies as soon as I can. It’s been a pleasure.”

You held your hand out to him and waited. After a moment, he wrapped his hand around yours, giving it a quick, perfunctory shake.

After you had your hand back, you slid the tablet back into your bag. You were very aware that Mr Russo was still staring at you. You gave him a brief smile and turned to leave, unsure what else to do.

As you reached the door, he spoke for the first time since you’d walked in.

“Y/N,” he called, his voice strained.

How… Curtis had referred to you as Miss Y/L/N and you hadn’t introduced yourself. It was the first thing that you thought when he’d said your name.

And then you realized that you recognized the voice. It was different in person, but it was still so familiar.

You’d missed it so much these past few weeks.

Back tense, you turned to look at him. He was still standing where you’d left him, his eyes wide as he looked at you. And even though there was no way that this was real, you couldn’t help but respond.

“Billy?”

His eyes widened and you watched him slump against the desk. It was him. After weeks of radio silence, weeks of missing someone you kept being told to get over, you were face to face with him.

You watched him swallow, his mouth working silently for a moment before he said your name again.

“Y/N, I can–”

No. Even the pleasure at hearing him say your name again, in person no less, wasn’t enough to overturn the pain you’d gone through for weeks.

“I’ll forward you the finalized copies shortly Mr Russo,” you said in what you hoped was a professional voice before you turned around to leave.

You barely refrained from running from his office, taking the steps two at a time to the front of the warehouse. You heard your name being called, but it wasn’t from Billy. Ethan was standing nearby, confusion on his face. He made his way over to you, his arm immediately going around your shoulders.

“You okay? You’re shaking,” he said as he looked over his shoulder in the direction you’d just come from. “What the hell happened in there?”

“It’s nothing,” you said, voice shaking and undermining what you were saying. “I’ll explain it to you later E, I promise, but I gotta get out of here.”

He nodded, guiding you towards the doors. You couldn’t help but peek over his shoulder. Billy was in the windows that had been behind his desk, overlooking the training area. You knew he could see you so you turned to look forward again.

“I’m calling Ken though. He’s off work today. I don’t like you leaving while you’re like this. I can ask Russo if I can leave early–”

“No, don’t,” you said in a rush, your eyes almost darting back up to where you’d seen Billy moments ago. “I’ll go straight to my office and finish this up and then I’ll go to your place. Please, don’t leave work because of this.”

You could tell that he wanted to push back, but instead he nodded. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead, walking you the rest of the way to the front.

“I’m still calling Kenny,” he said with a smile.

You didn’t expect any less.

------

Kenny had pulled you into the office and marched you over to the couch before you even had a chance to knock. After you’d gone to your office to email the papers to the people that needed them, you’d left work a little early and went straight to Kenny and Ethan’s place. And it seemed that Kenny had been waiting for you.

“So I get this long text from Ethan while I’m doing dishes, right? About how you had been at Anvil and the last he’d seen, you were fine, but then you come back and you look like you just saw a ghost. He told me that you wouldn’t let him ask off work to stay with you and he was worried. And I already don’t like my best friend being upset and my boyfriend being upset, but both of them? It was a fun afternoon.”

“Kenny,” you started, but he held up a hand and didn’t let you finish.

“I started to think about what it could have been because you’ve been doing great. Then I remembered that Curtis started to work for Anvil recently. Of course I discarded that idea because Curtis wouldn’t have done anything to hurt you. But then,” he said pointedly, letting you know that this was the part for you to focus on, “then I remembered his boss’s name. William Russo; known to most people as Billy.”

You felt sick. You weren’t even sure if you were crying or if your body was just shaking, but Kenny immediately wrapped his arms around you.

“It was him, wasn’t it? And he was there? How’d you recognize him?”

You wiped at your face but your hand came back dry.

“He uh, he recognized me. He just kept staring at me and I thought… but I wasn’t sure. I was just about to leave and he said my name.”

Him saying your name had always been one of your favorite parts of your phone calls. And the night… well, the night things had gone to hell, him calling out your name? You wished you could say that you didn’t hear it in your dreams, but it’d be a lie.

“Shit. Did he even try to explain why he ghosted you?”

You could vaguely remember him starting to say something before you cut him off. Maybe he had been about to explain, but you couldn’t hear it. You couldn’t listen to anything he had to say.

Kenny took your silence to mean that Billy hadn’t explained. He tugged you back into a hug and sighed, his hand pressing to the back of your head as he held you.

You would have to explain it all to Ethan. You doubted Kenny had betrayed your privacy by telling him before now, but he deserved to know.

You just hoped it wouldn’t affect him at work.

------

It was quiet in your apartment. You’d settled down in the chair, your legs drawn up to your chest as you stared at the muted television. Ethan now knew everything. After you told him what happened and talked to the two of them for a while longer, you had come home.

It’d been a long day and you should want to go to bed, but you knew your dreams would be of Billy. Now you knew what he looked like so it would give those memories and fantasies a face.

Was that why he’d been so against you seeing his face? The scars were bad, sure, but you didn’t care. Even if he hadn’t still been ridiculously attractive, you didn’t think those scars would have changed how you felt about him.

Your phone lit up on the coffee table and you sighed. Kenny had told you he’d call and check in, but you thought he had meant tomorrow.

When you grabbed the device, you nearly dropped it when you saw that Billy’s name was flashing on the screen. In your shock, you let it ring through. Once the screen went dark, you wondered if you should try to call him back.

Did you want to talk to him? You deserved an explanation at least.

Before you could convince yourself to call him back and demand an explanation, the phone started to ring again. This time you answered.

“Well it only took you three weeks,” you said in a flat voice, your hand shaking against your knee. “Granted I’m well aware you wouldn’t have called if I hadn’t come to Anvil, so I guess it shouldn’t count.”

“I wanted to explain at the office, but you didn’t seem like you wanted to hear it.”

You settled into the chair with a frown.

“Because it was three weeks too late, Billy. I tried, you know, I tried to get an explanation from you. Hell, I would have accepted you telling me to fuck off. But instead I just got ghosted. And right after…” You couldn’t fill in that blank, but you didn’t think he needed you to. “So no, I didn’t want to hear your explanation today. I shouldn’t have to hear some bullshit three weeks later just because I was there.”

There was nothing but silence on the other line. You pulled the phone back and saw that it was still connected, so you knew he hadn’t hung up. This time.

“Why did you even… you could have just stayed quiet. I wouldn’t have known that it really was you. I could have just left, no drama.”

He would have known it was you, but you could have been blissfully unaware.

“I thought you deserved to know,” he said softly, to the point that you had to strain your ears just to hear him. And then a little clearer, “What do you mean you wouldn’t have known it really was me?”

You hadn’t realized you’d said that. You closed your eyes but decided what did this matter? You’d already had your heart broken; a little embarrassment was nothing, right?

“Your hands. When I was taking the stylus from you, I saw your hands. They just, well, they just looked familiar. I told myself it was just in my head. That I missed you and that’s why I thought they looked like yours.”

This time the silence was a little more pronounced. You were just about to pull the phone back and check again when he cleared his throat.

“You missed me?”

You felt like cold water had been dumped over your head. It was your turn to clear your throat as you tried to come up with something to say to that, some response. You weren’t sure why you decided to just lay it all out for him, but you were tired of holding it in.

“Yeah, I missed you. You were important to me. You made me happy, even just… just as friends. And then what happened after, well, after what we did, it…” You felt like you couldn’t breathe. You took a deep breath, your eyes screwed shut as you continued. “I don’t think I ever told you about Paul, my ex. He made it so that my whole world revolved around him and then when that wasn’t enough, he got violent. And because of that, you know, I thought I wouldn’t ever get to that place again. I thought that I couldn’t handle intimacy in any form because it was going to make me vulnerable and I never wanted to be in that place again.”

You were crying. You wiped at the tears, but it didn’t matter. It was plain in your voice that you were crying.

“And then I get to that point again, for the first time since everything went to hell, and it’s great. Not just because it’s great,” you stressed, unable to help the little laugh you let out at the word play, “but because it was someone that I trusted and that I thought… someone I cared about. And for a split second, I let myself think that being vulnerable wasn’t that bad. And then my heart is being ripped out of my chest and I’m left to pick up the pathetic pieces.”

The tears were still falling. You felt like your body had been dragged behind a car and all you wanted to do is hang up and go to bed, but you didn’t move. You tried to get your breathing under control, focusing on that first. Once you were sure you weren’t about to break down into sobs again, you tried again.

“I should have listened when my sister and Kenny and Ethan told me to get over you,” you whispered as you wrapped your arm around your legs.

And yet you still didn’t hang up. You rested your head on your knees and waited.

From the other end of the call, you heard his breath catch at that last part. Maybe you shouldn’t have included Ethan in the list, but it was true.

“I pushed you away,” he admitted, his voice thick with tension. “I know it was the coward’s way out, but I had my reasons. I figured if you saw my face that you’d–”

“That I’d what, run away screaming? You thought so little of me that you didn’t trust that I wouldn’t give a damn about some scars?”

“No,” he said in a raised voice, not quite yelling but close enough to make you jerk upwards in surprise, “no, I didn’t think that little of you. I think that little of myself. You never saw me before the accident, but yeah, I’ll admit to being insecure. And I didn’t think I was worthy of this thing with you unless it was anonymous. I figured that way you wouldn’t know what you were missing.”

He had said that without seeing his face, you could imagine whatever you wanted. It made sense, looking back, but it didn’t stop the hurt you felt. He had run away from you because of his scars; he didn’t even give you a chance to show him that it didn’t matter to you.

“If that’s how you felt, you should have just told me to stop. To stop sending the pictures, to stop flirting. When you called me, the things you said, I thought that you wanted me too, but if you didn’t want that, you should have–”

“Of course I wanted you,” he said quickly, drawing you up short in your emotional ramble. “When I realized it was you in my office this afternoon, I felt like I was having a heart attack. I heard your voice and I thought it was you, and then you were there—close enough to touch, to smell your perfume—and you looked so much better in person than you do in pictures. And you weren’t looking at me in fear or disgust. You just… looked at me.”

You let out a watery laugh, running your nails over the cloth that covered your knee.

“My first thought when I saw you was that it wasn’t fair that you were that attractive, actually,” you informed him as you sniffled, wiping under your eyes.

He sighed and you wondered what was going through his head.

“That night when you texted me, after I hung up, you said that you wanted me.”

There was a lump in your throat and no matter how many times you swallowed, it didn’t disappear. It felt like your heart was going to break all over again.

“Yeah, I d–did,” you said, stumbling over the last word and which tense you wanted to use.

You could hear him sigh again, the noise carrying over the line. You bit your lip to keep it from wobbling as you waited to see what he’d say.

“If there’s any chance that you still feel that way or that you might, some day, feel that way again, I just want you to know that I want to try again. No walls this time. I want to take you out on a date and meet your sister and your nephew and Kenny and Ethan—although I already know Ethan, actually—and I want to show you that I can do better. You deserve better and I want to give that to you.”

The tears on your cheeks were fresh. You dropped your forehead to your knees, not sure if you wanted to cry or laugh at that moment.

“You think it’ll just work like that? You want to do better and I deserve better and that erases what happened? Suddenly it doesn’t matter that we have phone sex and then two minutes later you break my heart?”

“I didn’t say that,” he said softly. And then a little firmer, “I know that I fucked up; I’m not denying that. What I’m saying is that I want to make it up to you. I’m sorry for what I did. I was sorry the moment I did it, but I stupidly thought I knew how it’d end so I decided to end it before it got that far. I fucked up. Let me show you how it should have gone.”

You sniffled as you sat up again, the beginning of something brewing in your chest.

“How should it have gone?”

There was an audible sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Well when you said that you didn’t want to imagine anyone else, I should have told you about my accident. I should have told you about the scars so that when I sent you a picture, you wouldn’t have been surprised. And then if you were sure that they didn’t bother you, I should have asked you out on a date. Maybe not somewhere too public because I still get looks and I haven’t figured out how to react yet, but somewhere with the two of us. I should have shown you that I was falling for you. And that you were the only thing that I wanted more than I wanted my face back.”

You were crying again, but it wasn’t in pain this time. Or maybe it was, but a different kind of pain. This was loss of something you could have had. Three weeks of silence when it could have been handled so differently.

But you didn’t want to dwell on that. You needed to make a decision.

You looked at the clock on your bookshelf and bit your lip. It was just after eight.

“Do you know that diner a few blocks down from Anvil, the one that’s open all night? I can’t remember the name,” you offered a little helplessly.

“Yeah?” He sounded so hopeful.

“It’s usually empty around this time except for the people that work there and a few college kids. Do you uh, would you want to meet me there?”

You held your breath as you waited for a response, but it was there before you had a chance to think twice.

“I can be there in twenty,” he replied easily. “And Y/N?”

Your name on his lips once more. Butterflies erupted in your stomach at the sound.

“Yeah?”

You could hear a smile in his voice.

“Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Don’t make me regret it Billy, please. I don’t think I could handle that again.”

------

A kiss was placed to your cheek and you looked up, smiling as lips met yours in retaliation.

“Hi,” you mumbled into the kiss, clutching Billy’s collar and pulling him in a little closer. “I missed you.”

He pulled back long enough to mumble the words back before he kissed you again, diving in a bit deeper this time.

“Okay guys, there’s a baby present,” Kris complained with a grin as she switched Liam over to her other arm. “We gotta tell auntie to keep it PG, don’t we? Because she can’t keep her hands off her man and it’s gross.”

Billy settled in next to you in the booth, grinning over at Kris. Kenny and Ethan were on the inside of the half moon shaped booth, both of them rolling their eyes.

“Sorry Kris,” he offered, leaning over to tug on the blanket so that he could see Liam’s face. “And sorry Liam, but one day you’ll meet some girl and you’ll understand.”

“Hey, he could meet some guy,” Kenny complained with a pout, earning a kiss to the cheek from Ethan.

“Let’s not start debating the kid’s sexuality before he’s even a year old,” Ethan said, grinning at Kris as he did so.

“Touche,” Billy said as he raised the beer you had ordered him to his employee. Then he leaned into your shoulder. “Sorry I’m late, by the way. I got stuck in traffic.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, a move that had taken you a while to get him used to. You barely noticed the scars on his cheeks and while he was a great deal better now, you knew he still had moments of insecurity.

Hell, it’d taken all this time for him to start being able to go in public again.

“I’ll forgive you this time,” you joked as you laced your fingers with his, pushing a menu between the two of you so that you could both look. “Kenny was just telling us about him walking into his boss’s office and seeing her changing. He’s traumatized and it’s hilarious.”

Billy didn’t even get a chance to say anything before Ethan cut in.

“That’s why I always knock before I go into your office Billy,” he said with a grin, his eyes going between the two of you, “because I feel like I’d respect you more as a boss and Y/N more as a friend if I don’t see you two having sex.”

“Hey!” you cried, laughing even as you felt your cheeks heat up.

“Wait, you two haven’t actually had sex in his office, have you?” Kris looked between your ashamed face and Billy’s very satisfied smirk and let out a loud groan. “You two aren’t allowed to babysit Liam anymore. I don’t trust you guys not to go off into a dark corner to boink. Seriously, at what point in a relationship do you stop wanting to be all over each other?”

“Hopefully never,” Billy said as he brushed his nose against your cheek, making you smile.

“They’ll get out of that stage,” Kenny said with a wave of his hand. “Ethan and I have been together for five years and we’re not that bad.”

You gaped as you looked between the two of them.

“You’re kidding me, right? I had to buy earplugs my third day living with you guys and I was on the other side of the apartment. I feel bad for the people that share a wall with your bedroom.”

As the group dissolved into laughter at that, Kris jokingly scolding the two of them for scarring her baby sister, Billy wrapped his arm around your waist and tugged you in closer to him.

“Maybe because I almost lost the chance to ever get this, I don’t ever want to miss a chance again,” he whispered into your ear, just for you.

You looked up at him and smiled softly. The memory of the pain was so faint that you could almost laugh about it now. He’d more than made up for his poor reaction in the time that passed.

“I love you,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“I love you,” he replied back just as quietly, his lips brushing yours as he spoke. You could see the mischief in his eyes as he glanced over at the table where your friends and family were still distracted. “Wouldn’t want to sneak away to the bathroom or my car, would you?”

You grinned wide, kissing him again.

You really needed to thank Kenny and Ethan for having such horrible handwriting that you couldn’t tell the difference between Billy’s number and Curtis’s. The difference it made in your life was palpable and you couldn’t imagine a life without Billy.

Guess there was no such thing as a wrong number.

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scatter-kinnin-patter · 5 years

Note

Do you have memories? Which characters do you have memories as?

Ohhhhh thank you for asking!!! I don’t have memories for everyone but I’ll write out a few for each one I do~!

Michael Afton[FNaF]: I have memories of before everything went wrong- when it was just me and my siblings and everything was okay. I’d spend a lot of time in our basement, which was cold and dark and full of spare animatronic parts, but I loooved exploring the place. I remember Sister Location pretty vividly, especially the vents. Remember the scooping scene a bit too well. I remember how it felt when Father held me and how devastated I was I met Scraptrap for the first time. Died in FFPS :(

Damien/Darkiplier[Markiplier’s egos]: I uh- remember how Wilford killed me, actually. Got into a fight, he confessed to murdering Mark, and as I went to turn around and tell the others, got shot in the back. Of course, water under the bridge, and we’ve since reconciled. I dated my Anti and Wil and- believe it or not- lived with the other Markiplier egos. I think Google and Host were my platonic favorites. Yan was like a daughter to me. I died from health complications due to being so unstable as a demon.

Geno[SMRPG]: Okay, biggest deviation from canon: I HAD CLOTHES. ... Actually I’ll do you one better: I was Smithy’s son, sooo... yeah, awkward. He adopted the Weapons, so every member of the Smithy Gang was technically my half-sibling! I was closest with Yaridovich and Bowyer. I frequently came back to Earth after the events of SMRPG, though I had a tangible “spirit form” rather than having to possess a doll every time. My Mario was mute, and I was good friends with Luigi. Bowser and I were like- platonic husbands. Had a huge thing for Dreambert from Mario and Luigi: Dream Team tho

Roxas[Kingdom Hearts]: Twilight Town and The World That Never Was always felt like home to me. Remember the scraped knees from falling off my skateboard. I remember how close I was to Axel(Xion too, though those memories are more faint). My strongest memories are from KH2. Axel and I were like brothers and Sora and I actually dated! I was so relieved in KH3 when I could finally meet him face to face and fight alongside him, all while protecting my squad!

Scott/PG[FNaF]: I remember where I worked. It wasn’t in Hurricane Utah, but rather somewhere Pacific Northwest. I would always sneak away to the woods, only to look out onto the city that stretched out below. Cold nights of exploring abandoned playgrounds and buildings. Working at the FNaF 1 location- Freddy and I grew pretty close, actually. We had sort of a platonic relationship going on! I died FNaF 1 though, remember THAT pretty vividly. Strangled via phone cord and shove in a suit :(

Bendy[BatIM]: I remember the studio, and how the wooden boards would feel as I walked around. It got cold in the winter. I could flow between my normal cartoon form, my ink demon form, and my beast form- though that one took the most out of me. I had a tail, and lemme tell ya I was essentially a cat. I remember my Henry and how much I loved being with him(after I tried to kill him, whoops), and he would always carry my around or let me ride on his shoulders. Sammy and I were tight too after he got over his whole cult shtick. ... Okay Sammy and I actually had a romance thing going on ;) I remember spending a lot of time around Joey- how he moved and how his voice sounded and how he talked to us- though oddly I can’t seem to remember his face.

Lawless[Servamp]: MY LICHT WAS THE BEST! Sorry, had to get that off my chest, I just love my angel! Though we were a lot more of a healthy relationship than what was shown in canon, my Licht wasn’t as tsundere... at least, after our big fight he wasn’t. I vividly remember when my dogtag was broken and how it nearly killed me, and I remember Licht holding me tight when I needed him most. I was closest to Kuro out of all of my siblings, though I loved them all.

Link/Masky[Zelda: OoT+MM]: I mainly only remember my time in Majora’s Mask, though I have quite a few memories of Ocarina of Time, too(mainly Kokiri Forest, Castle Town, and Death Mountain). I would often wear a Keaton mask, and actually had a “I’m not a hero” complex. I was meticulous, analytical, and didn’t speak much. Lived in my journal, actually. My favorite weapon other than my sword was my bow! I remember the “into the moon” scene extremely vividly. After my death, I came in contact with the other reincarnations of Link, befriending them all. I was closest with Twilight Princess Link(we called him Wolfy), for obvious reasons.

Virgil Sanders[Sanders Sides]: Tis I, the former dark side, muahaha! There isn’t much I remember outside of what we see in canon, but I remember Patton being like a father to me. I was also in a poly relationship with Logan, Roman, and Deceit! I’d often spend my time chilling in everyone else’s rooms, especially Logan’s, and was big on stargazing.

Taako Taako[The Adventure Zone: Balance]: hOW COULD I FORGET MY SISTERRRRR,,, I pretty vividly remember the race from Pedals to the Metal(esp throwing myself off our car and how goofy we were crossing the finish line) and The Eleventh Hour+The Suffering Game. I had a normal/human skin tone instead of the canon blue, and had REALLY colorful hair. I loved Kravitz, but I was also r e a l l y in love with Magnus. Like- I can’t stress enough how gay I was for the bisaster that is Maggy.

Ethan[Pokemon Silver]: I’m Gold from Silver(not SoulSilver, for some reason). I was always on a pair of roller blades or some other wheeled device, and I was pretty loud and arrogant XD I had a Cyndaquil and toootally dated Silver. I remember fighting Red atop Mt. Silver... where we both ended up needing medical attention due to hypothermia, oops. I was also tight with Blue and Kris! I remember befriending Lugia, though never caught them. For me, Johto was very mountainous and woodsy, with lots of golds and autumn colors- the buildings were also older(typically wooden) and traditional!

#~asks~#💜Michael💜#🖤Dark🖤#💙Geno💙#💛Roxas💛#💖PG💖#🖤Bendy🖤#🧡Lawless🧡#💚Link💚#💜Virgil💜#💙Taako💙#💛Ethan💛#fictionkin #thank you for this ask!!! it was fun to remember~!!!#Nonnies

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abloodymess · 7 years

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As I mentioned I watched Martin Scorsese’s “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” from 1974 and re-fell in love with it. When I was watching the film I was doing so half heartedly through a Feminist lens and also just for pure pleasure. If you haven’t seen the film its about lower middle class Alice (Ellen Burstyn), an early 30′s mom whose shitty husband is suddenly killed in a car accident. We feel great relief that this asshole is gone, but Alice soon realizes with this new freedom comes terror. The terror from being a woman whose husband refused to let her work and now finds herself having to provide for her and her son without many skills. Alice remembers she was happy once in Monterey, CA when before she was married she wanted to be a singer; so she sells the house and her and her son Tommy get in station wagon and try for a new start. It is hard to find a working gig as a singer, so soon Alice is “stuck” waitressing in little diners.

I don’t want to spoil this old film for you, but it boils down to Alice (and women) are always expected to put their dreams or wants on hold to support some man’s dream or a family she wasn’t even sure she wanted. While doing things her way Alice finally runs into a mostly good rancher named David played by Kris Kristofferson who genuinely loves Alice and Tommy, Alice is cautious (because you know, men), but she soon falls for him too. At the end of the picture they have a falling out because as you might have guessed it, David wants the family and draws a line in the sand, “Is it me or is it singing in Monterrey?” Alice knows she could be happy here and she loves David, but she walks because no one is going to put her wants or Tommy in the backseat ever again.

David shows back up at the diner and Alice goes to take his order and they stare in silence. All David can say is, “Please.” Alice turns to go back into the kitchen and David storms out, but stops just before the door and yells in front of the diner “God damn it Alice I said please!” This infuriates Alice who snaps back, “My life --- and I’m supposed to give it away on a please?! Just because you say please I am supposed to turn into Dale Evans!?” David, stammers back, “What’s the matter with you I never said that.” “You didn’t have to say it.”

Now, this is interesting because this reinforces that even good men expect women to change because they did the bare minimum, he said, “please” and he expects that to be enough for Alice to change what she wants from life. But Scorsese is smart here because during this David also starts to realize this.

“What do you want Alice?”

“I want to sing. I’m a singer! Whatever I do that’s going to be part of it.”

“Are you any good?”

“I. Don’t. Know.”

“If you don’t know, is it worth all of this?”

“...yes. Yes. YES!”

“Is Monterey part of it too?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Explain it to me.”

“I was happy when I lived in Monterey--”

“You’re not a little girl anymore, you can be happy here!”

Alice almost crying, “You don’t understand. I was stopped once before, and I am not going to be stopped again.”

“Who’s stopping you? Sing for God’s sake, sing! I TOLD YOU BEFORE WHATEVER YOU DO, I’LL BACK YOU UP!”

“You have to understand what I just said.”

“I do. <beat> I don’t give a good god damn about that ranch, I’ll sell it let’s go. Alright?”

And it is at that moment that a man was willing to give up their life and dreams for Alice, that a woman could be put first, even if her dream isn’t “good” or even if Alice won’t make it, her desires and hopes have value and are of worth because she is a person whose dreams are equal to any ranch or family fantasy. The film ends with Alice and Tommy (David is nowhere to be seen because this has never been about David) saying maybe they will hang around here a little longer to see what happens. In the background is a hotel with the name “Monterey”, suggesting maybe Alice has found her home on her terms.

So this all felt Feminist as fuck to me. So I dug up some books and wanted to see what Scorsese had to say about the subject and what I found was pretty interesting. When asked if the film was Feminist, Scorsese said, he didn’t think so because he was a dude and he had never been through what Alice had to go through, he fears that Alice will still end up washing David’s dishes. “I can only show Alice’s truth as honestly as I can, it doesn’t feel right for me to declare Alice a feminist picture, I would guess that is up to the ladies who watch the film to decide, but I can say I understand Alice. No, Alice wasn’t intended to be my feminist film, my feminist film was Taxi Driver.”

Scorsese talks about how the best way he can make a feminist statement as a man is to tackle masculinity and show what the endgame of macho bullshit will be. In Travis Bickle Scorsese finds a violent man and shows the violence clogging up his insides and his inability to communicate with a society. “All this violence comes out because he was rejected by a girl. I mean we have all been rejected-- but there is now a certain kind of man that all of a sudden is all around us that feels he is owed something if things don’t work out.”

Maybe Travis was able to ease the violent pressure valve inside him while at war (he is a Vet) or maybe it made it worse and now there is no place to put it. He is drawn over and over to vulgarity and ugliness, he continues to drive his Taxi down areas that only fuel his rage. Travis sees himself as a nice man, who sends his parents cards, but he also takes his date to a porn film and when she isn’t interested there is something wrong with her not him. It is the politicians that are wrong not him. He views himself as moral as pure as an white avenger who is going to free Iris, a 13 year old prostitute in a hail of bullets. When Travis reaches Iris, a woman he claims to care about or love; much like Ethan Edwards in John Ford’s “The Searchers” we do not know if Travis is going to “rescue” her or kill her. Surrounded by blood and bodies Travis attempts to kill himself, but there are no more bullets, his violence has been released, at least for a little while, and it’s ok anways because he is such a nice guy who one day is going to get organized.

When I think about Taxi Driver I can see Scorsese even then warning us about 4*Chaners, Gamegaters, MRAs, with Travis, maybe we should have worried when people were viewing Travis as heroic, maybe we should have took notice when Travis literally looked into the mirror that Scorsese was holding up at toxic masculinity and when he asked “Are you talking to me?” We should have replied, “Yes, we are and we are fucking terrified.”

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donaldscene98-blog · 5 years

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Trade Targets – Part Two: Teams in cap hell

In part one of my trade targets series, I took a look at some teams that are currently heading towards the rebuilding process. This week, I’m looking at a handful of teams who are really tight up against the salary cap and could be forced to move on from some talented young players this summer.

Now, the fact that the Oilers are also up against the cap is a challenge and if they want to really make changes to their roster, they’ll have to send out some money in a separate deal. If they could do that without blowing away any assets, then they could be in a spot to take advantage of one of these teams:

WINNIPEG JETS

The Jets will have around $27 million to sign Kyle Connor, Patrik Laine, and Jacob Trouba. They’ll also have to replace Tyler Myers and Ben Chariot, who are heading for free agency. Brandon Tanev and Andrew Copp are valuable bottom six pieces that need new deals as well.

They have some pricey vets in Bryan Little (5 years at $5.29 million), Mathieu Perreault (2 years at $4.1 million), and Dmitry Kulikov (one year at $4.33 million). Kevin Cheveldayoff will no doubt try to unload two of those deals before he makes a big change to his core just for the sake of cap relief.

There have been plenty of rumours surrounding both of Jacob Trouba and Nik Ehlers as well. Trouba had a contract dispute with the Jets not too long ago, so I think there is a real chance he is dealt. I’ve also heard that he’s not interested in signing long-term in a Canadian market. Ehlers would be a great fit here and while part of me doubts that the Jets would part ways with a good, young winger, he does make $6 million dollars for the next six years and hasn’t scored a goal in over 20 playoff games. I could see the Jets wanting to shake things up after a disappointing playoff exit.

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

The Leafs are really strapped for cap space this summer and the threat of an offer sheet to Mitch Marner could have them wanting to clear out salary sooner rather than later.

They should have between $8-9 million to start the offseason and they have a long list of RFA’s aside from Marner, who should get more than $10 million. Andreas Johnson is fresh off scoring 20 goals in his rookie season and Kasperi Kapanen potted 20 himself. Both of those guys should fetch between $3-4 million.

They will also have to either sign or replace Ron Hainsey and Jake Gardiner who are both pending UFA’s. They need defenseman and it will cost some serious money to replace those two.

They have two bad contracts. The first is Patrick Marleau who has one more season at $6.25 million and Nikita Zaitsev who has five more years at $4.5 million. Even if they move both of those contracts, they’ll likely still need to move a young forward.

There was the rumoured Connor Brown for Matt Benning deal at the deadline. I wouldn’t be surprised if the two sides revisited that. Based on the fact that the Leafs need defenseman, I could see them being interested in one of Adam Larsson or Darnell Nurse. If that is the case, the Oilers would no doubt be able to bring back one of Andreas Johnsson, Kasperi Kapanen, or if the deal is bigger, maybe even William Nylander. These two teams appear to be a good match.

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING

GM Julien Brisebois will have some hard work to do in his first full offseason as Lightning General Manager. He’ll have around $8-9 million to play with but most of that will evaporate with the signing of Brayden Point. On top of that, he has RFA’s Cedric Paquette and Adam Erne along and he has four defensemen that are pending UFA’s. There’s not a lot of money to replace the likes of Anton Stralman, Dan Girardi, Jan Ruuta, and Brayden Cobourn.

They do have Mikhail Sergachev and Eric Cernak who should be able to step up next season but both of those players are RFA’s after next season. Brisebois will have to keep that in his plans.

The really bad contract they’ll likely try to move is Ryan Callahan who has one more year at $5.8 million. Just based on the fact that deal is done after this year, they could probably move that out without much trouble.

I believe we’ll see them try to move out one of their forwards this summer. Tyler Johnson (five years at $5.0 million), Ondrej Palat (three years at $5.3 million), Alex Killorn (four years at $4.45 million), and JT Miller (four years at $5.25 million) are all candidates and are all players I think the Oilers should be interested in.

The issue is that all of those players but Miller have no-trade clauses. That probably means the Oilers would have trouble acquiring them. The Oilers would also have to clear out some money to make those deals work. But I think it’s worth a phone call. The Lightning have forwards to move and the Oilers need scoring.

VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS

After making the NHL’s expansion process seem like a joke, the Golden Knights suddenly find themselves in a tough situation with the salary cap. If the cap goes up $4 million, they will still just have $1.25 million in cap space and they only have one goalie, six defensemen, and ten forwards on their roster. They’ll need to add at least five contracts. They’re also facing an interesting situation with first-line centre William Karlsson who is coming off a down season, but still had 24 goals and 32 assists. He’ll command a minimum of $5.5 million. They’ll need to move some contracts.

I could see them looking to move on from someone like Reilly Smith, who have averaged just over 20 goals a season with the Knights but makes $5 million for the next three seasons. Cody Eakin and his $3.87 million cap hit. He would be interesting on the Oilers third line. He can kill penalties, give you reliable even strength minutes and he scored 22 goals last season. I really don’t like his cap hit, but it’s only for one year.

They could be forced to move a blueliner as well. On the left side, they have Shea Theodore, Brayden McNabb, Jon Merril, and newly signed college free agent Jimmy Schudt. They might move on from a veteran, but the Oilers have enough left-handed defensemen so I don’t think they’d be interested. On the right side, they have Nate Schmidt, Colin Miller, pending UFA Deryk Engelland, and Nick Holden. They could let Engelland walk, but they really like him in Vegas. Colin Miller would be a name for the Oilers to target. He’s 26-years-old, shoots right, and was anchoring a Golden Knights powerplay unit in the postseason. He was also healthy scratched at some points, so that leads me to believe the Knights would be open to moving him in a cap dump situation or for a young defenseman, maybe someone like Ethan Bear.

For the Oilers to make a splash on the trade market, they need to clear out some salary of their own. Whether it’s Sekera, Russell, or Lucic, they need to find some money.

Here’s a rough trade proposal: the Oilers send Kris Russell out in exchange for a mid-round draft pick and then flip Ethan Bear and that draft pick for Colin Miller. They’d get a younger right-shot defenseman who can chip in some offence and they’d save $125k against the cap. Vegas would get a draft pick, a young defenseman who could be a third pairing guy in the next 18 months and some salary relief. It might seem like the Oilers are giving up a lot here, but I think Miller would be a good upgrade to their blueline.

Source: https://oilersnation.com/2019/05/17/edmonton-oilers-trade-targets-part-two-teams-in-cap-hell/

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bubsdolan · 3 years

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concept: reader and grayson are in a long distance relationship and for his birthday ethan or kris or someone surprises him and flys her out 🥺🥺

{since im one bit fat mess of a human, i failed to get this done for their birthday... so here’s you surprising gray for christmas!! ho ho ho just call me santa x}

“ok, ive landed! are you sure he doesn’t suspect im here?” you nibble at your fingernails, pacing up and the down the airport arrivals lounge as you panic over the phone to kristina. wondering if your surprise had been or was going to be ruined. scared some fans may have spotted you on your journey cross country to reunite with your boyfriend.

being in a long distance relationship was hard. it certainly wasn’t for the faint hearted, the weak minded and untrustworthy. sure you and grayson had your down days, finding the distance and time difference excruciating, but if anything it made your relationship stronger. making your romance blossom in ways being around each other 24 hours 7 days a week could never. it made every conversation shared between you both special. it made being back in each others arms after many painful months apart meaningful and reminded you that no matter where you were in the world, grayson dolan will always be your final destination.

“stop stressing, y/n! he doesn't have any idea that you're here. to be perfectly honest he thinks you’re asleep, s’constantly checking his phone every five minutes for a text or call from you.” kristina calmed your nerves, sat in the passenger seat next to ethan as they drove to collect you from the airport. making up an excuse to grayson that they were going to get some lunch. leaving him alone to await your good morning message he valued the most- his day never fully began until he heard from you.

‘bro, i can't wait to see him cry,” you heard ethan tease, indicating to you that you were on loud speaker and ethan too, had just witnessed your mental breakdown.

when the happy couple finally arrive at lax, lots of happy greetings and cuddles were exchanged as you finally got to catch up with your bestfriends. you couldn’t help but feel the pit of your stomach bubble up with nerves and anxiety as you approach closer and closer to the dolan resistance. you had been resisting to temptation of texting grayson, holding off all contact with him untill you were back safely in his arms.

“relax, y/n. you’re his christmas miracle.” kristina felt how tense you were, providing you with a one armed side hug as ethan lead you up the pathway into the oddly quite house. allowing you time to take in the awe and beauty of the decorations. the absence of nutcrackers lines up on the mantelpiece that made you feel like home, the deliciousness and comforting scent of wakeheart christmas candles being burnt and christmas tree you got to witness brewing up a storm between the brothers as they figure out how to assemble it, live on facetime. you breathe in the change of air, your nostrils filling with nostalgia, safety and comfort.

“yo gray! c’mere!” ethan shouts from beside you, sending you a toothy grin as he and kristina move off to the side of the living room and get their cameras ready to film the reunion of the two lovers- which can only be described as a scene from a movie.

your heart rate picks up as you hear the heavy footsteps of your boyfriend draw closer. his head buried deep into his phone and fingers working rapidly at his keyboard as he was so panaorid and caught up with the lack of communication he was yet to receive from you.

“bro, y/n still hasn't messaged me. you think something-” his voice stopped. his chest tightening as he finally makes eye contact with you after looking up from his phone. standing there in all your glory, eyes shining directly into his as you hold your arms out and make grabby needy hands his way.

“merry christmas, bear,” your voice just above a whisper. quickly being replaced with a squeal of delight and your body distancing itself from the ground. graysons arms engulfed your waist as he’s lifting you up and spinning you around in his arms. twirling your entwined bodies around untill he felt dizzy, sick with love and happiness.

“no way! no, oh my god! you’re here! baby, you’re actually here!” grayson chokes out through his sobs. placing you gently back to the floor and immediately smashing his lips to yours in a long waited, desperate kiss, not even giving you time to reply to his excitement. the two of you only pulling away when grayson’s body can't contain the trembling due to his heavy tears. you reach your hand up to wipe under his eyes, face softening as your hands trace patterns soothingly over his inflamed skin.

“how-how? i thought you weren't able to fly over for chirstmas? he questioned, referring to that one heartbreaking call you had to make when you explained to your boyfriemd how your mum was unwilling to let you travel this christmas. making false statements that you had to spend it in your town country with your family. “what changed?”

you nod your head over in the direction of ethan and kristina, both watching in awe, displaying contagious and heartfelt smiles. grayson follows your eyeline, sending the pair a thankful smile as he drags your body closer to his. kissing you once more to make up for lost time. ethan and kristina high five each other out of success, taking the hint and heading in the direction of their own room to give you and grayson your much needed time alone.

grayson drags you over to the sofa, wasting no time in wanting to wrap you up in his arms for the forceable future. but before he has the change to drag your body down with his own, you’re pulling away. running over to collect your carry on case and rummaging through it to find exactly what you were looking for.

grayson sits patiently with a frown upon his face, already missing the warmth and scent of your body. but he lets you be, seeing the corners of your mouth them upright as you walk back in his direction. standing over him between his legs as you hold a neatly wrapped box under his nose.

“i wanted to give you a little something early. its nothing big but- here just open it.” you hand him the gift he’s been eyes up, detailed with a red and gold bow and finished with a handwritten ‘G♡’

grayson chuckes slight, watching as you become flustered under his assumed gaze. his eyes going soft at the care and delicacy of the present. witnessing your cheeks heat up in an adorable blush as you fidget with the chain around his neck. needing something to occupy your mind away the your anxiety and sentiment your early christmas gift held.

he unwrapped the present, untying the bow carefully as he knew you were bound to keep it in your relationship memory box after he was done with it. unpacking an even smaller, securely wrapped box inside which kept his suspicions growing.

‘’its a bond touch bracelet’” you explain watching as he inspected the thin black watch, almost comparable to a fitbit. he didn't have the heart to tell you he hated it at first glance, it definitely wasnt up to par with his $40,000 rolex. but as you went on to explain the inner workings and meaning behind the jewellery, it quickly became his most prized procession- after you.

“it connects to mine, see here.” you lift your wrist up eye level to his face, flashing the identically watch that was flashing green. a heart beat symbol vibrating across the narrow screen as your own increased in the presence of your soulmate.

“even when we are miles apart, across the other side of the globe, you just simply tap the screen and you’ll feel a gentle vibration. a light will flash up to let you know im thinking of you. no matter where we are in the world, we stay connected.”

if grayson wasn’t crying before hand, he certainly was now. strapping the band securely to his wrist. hearing the soft buzzes from your own as he taps the screen three times. a small heart beating on display as he lets you know how much he loves you.

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reactingtosomething · 7 years

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Reacting to Friends from College

I Write and I’m Never Sad

The Setup: It’s a dream comedy cast. Keegan-Michael Key and Cobie Smulders lead the ensemble, Fred Savage does cocaine, and guest appearances include Billy Eichner playing against type and Kate McKinnon playing very much to type. So there was a lot of excitement in our film school cohort about Netflix’s original series Friends from College.

Then it premiered, and, well, maybe you saw the critical response. Like 69 percent of critics, our friend Adam was extremely not impressed. But Marchae, whose default response to comedy is extreme side-eye, loved it. An argument ensued in the group video messaging app Marco Polo (which we heartily endorse), and Marchae threw down the Guest Reactor gauntlet, so here we are.

Post-chat notes from Kris (who was somewhere in between, but closer to Adam) are in italics.

SPOILERS for the entire first season of Friends from College after the jump.

MARCHAE: So I know you had strong opinions about Friends from College.

And I guess we can start there

ADAM: That would be a bit of an understatement. I would like to know your opinion first. I need to see if I’m missing something.

MARCHAE: Well I really LOVED it. I thought it was smart

HILARIOUS

And I was delighted to see people kind of stuck in the throws of yesteryear while simultaneously trying to move forward and be productive

I also liked that it doesn't matter how adult you think you are you're always trapped somewhere between 13 and 23

ADAM: But here’s the thing

These are a bunch of affluent people that are afraid that they aren’t as cool as they think they are.

Just a bunch of

Can I swear on here?

MARCHAE: You may

That almost didn't bother me because they are so flawed

ADAM: But they aren’t flawed in an empathetic way

The audience does not have to sympathize with them, but they should at least have some sort of empathy for what is going on in their life.

Not to mention the complete tonal shifts that occur throughout the season

MARCHAE: Ok time out. I did feel bad for them sooo often

Infertility

A failing marriage

Failing career and sexual harassment at work

AWFUL

and it's a dramedy

I appreciated the antics

And I DO NOT generally appreciate comedies very much

So hats all the way off and in the air for Friends from College

KRIS: Marchae’s case here has been that because she doesn’t like comedies, anything that makes her laugh must be EXTRA funny. But I think this is faulty reasoning, and that if you are a fan of things Marchae does not find funny, you are likely not be a fan of the things she does.

The golden exception here, of course, is Sweet/Vicious, which she rightly adores.

ADAM: When whats her face [Sam] was at therapy talking about how she wants to blow her life, THEN turns around and says, “No don’t wreck my life.”

[SPOILERS coming for I guess the first like five minutes of the show]

To Keagan Michael Key [Ethan] when he wants to come clean about the affair makes me angry

MARCHAE: Sam and Ethan

But I think it's supposed to make you kind of angry

But you know they are miserable

It's kind of like the payment they get for having, excuse my language, dicked their partners around

ADAM: The creators watched shows like Casual, Difficult People, You’re the Worst, Girls and tried to replicate that form. They are doing it because they think people want unlikeable characters.

MARCHAE: Simultaneously it's kind of a tragic love story

I don't find them entirely unlikable though

ADAM: A show like You’re The Worst has terrible fucking people in it, but when everything boils down to the core there is some humanity in them.

With Friends From College these characters are just plain terrible trying to justify that they aren’t terrible.

K: Caroline Framke at Vox called it a bad show about worse people

MARCHAE: I don't think they are terrible!!!!

Lisa isn't

Tell me how Lisa is terrible?!?!

K: I will agree I don’t actually think Lisa is terrible, or at least unlike the others she’s never actively insufferable

They are all kind of midlife crisis

ADAM: Which one is Lisa again?

MARCHAE: Married to Ethan (Keegan Key)

ADAM: She sleeps cheats on her husband

MARCHAE: *Sighs*

She explains why and of those cheating she actually has the "most justifiable" reason

K: She does immediately regret it and almost-immediately come clean, and Ethan takes the opportunity to be Generously Forgiving instead of coming clean like he’d planned, which makes him King Asshole

ADAM: She forces Ethan to break into a pharmacy

MARCHAE: Because SHE WANTS A BABY

K: This is one of the only storylines I like, because it lets Smulders do some actually great dramatic acting. But I wouldn’t even call it an arc, because it never feels resolved so much as dropped halfway through the season.

ADAM: And ruins Felix’s birthday surprise

MARCHAE: and it's funny

ADAM: So what

MARCHAE: I think it is a study in the absurdity of being privileged

They do whatever they want

And have minimal consequences until there are consequences

While the show comments to that it does so using HUMOR

So I personally feel like you should have laughed

Hard

And often

ADAM: It’s privileged assholes with a token black friend

K: Hey now, they also have an Asian friend. Who arguably feels more like a token than Ethan.

But I don’t know that I’d charge the show with tokenism; or at least, the cross-section feels pretty familiar to me, as Expensive New England Liberal Arts College demographics go.

MARCHAE: (Ok you have a point there)

Ethan also notes that in one episode by making a remark about what black men can't do

I really think it's a social commentary

ADAM: Social commentary on what

MARCHAE: The fact that privileged people can do whatever they want with few repercussions and that their problems are clearly as the kids say #firstworld

I mean come on

These people know all the right people they aren't terribly efficient or socially prepared to be in the world yet they all make it

And that's how the world works

And I think the show knows it

K: But how is it a commentary? It shows privilege, but that’s not the same thing.

ADAM: I wouldn’t say they make it. When it’s handed to them

MARCHAE: No they are all surviving and thriving there

Sam has her fancy job

I still don't entirely know what she does (I have to rewatch)

K: I think she sells furniture?

Nick is a trust fund baby

AND THEY ALL WENT TO HARVARD

K: But the creators/showrunners also went to Harvard, and no one in the show is anything but affectionate about it, and I never get critique vibes at all as opposed to maybe some self-congratulatory vibes. Which would be totally fine! If the show was better.

ADAM: There is no true arc to these characters either

MARCHAE: it's great they're lives suck and they have it all

DONT EVEN

they dooooo

(Well some of them)

Explain though

ADAM: Sam wants to keep her perfect life does not feel guilty about cheating

Fred Savage just keeps doing what he is doing even after his partner (the only good thing about the show) leaves him

Nat Faxon floats in and out of episodes to be a comedic partner for Colby Smulders

K: And the main ostensible arc, of Ethan and Sam reckoning with their affair, is very deliberately not resolved, in a weirdly abrupt series ending

MARCHAE: I beg to differ we do see Sam finally realize she's wrong -and Max (Savage) does change a bit and we see the evolution of him kind of realizing: wait these folks might be ruining my life

Nat’s character I WILL give you

ADAM: He NEVER realizes that

MARCHAE: He doooeeeessssssss

He does we know he does he says it all when he's drunk

And also admits he might have a crush on Ethan

ADAM: He threw a temper tantrum at the end when they weren’t doing the bill Clinton musical

MARCHAE: He did and that musical was hilarious

Admit that much at least

ADAM: We never saw the musical

MARCHAE: We saw a number from it

Did we watch the same show?

K: Even the show thinks the musical is terrible

ADAM: Clearly not

Can we talk about how the tone always shifts?

MARCHAE: I didn't think so

But go maybe I'll change my mind I'm flexible

ADAM: The two big stand outs are the wine tasting tour

And the one where they go back to Harvard

The wine tasting tour especially

The let’s get them all drunk and see what happens

K: I agree about the tonal inconsistency, and also particularly hate this episode, except the very end when Felix tells Max the group’s whole deal is pathetic. I want to like this episode because it seems to know that it should be told from Felix’s point of view, but it mostly doesn’t come across that way. It’s just a lot of insufferable antics, with some Lisa angst interspersed.

I think it also with the uneven performance by Keegan Michael Key

The director/creator never really knew how to work with him

At moments he’s just doing impressions and voices that you would see on Key and Peele then he’s this starving unappreciated writer

MARCHAE: The impressions were a personality flaw that they explain in the first or second episode

K: Lampshading is not the same as justifying! Just because there are some lines about it doesn’t mean it works.

I loved the Harvard episode

K: I wanted to, for reasons that will be obvious to our former classmates, but I feel like they crammed two A-stories in under half an hour and neither Harvard nor the Caymans got enough real-estate

ADAM: They threw Kate McKinnon in there to be this weird YA author

I know that, but he is doing them at weird times

MARCHAE: It's his tick. They call him on it too

I could have honestly done without Kate

It was weird. I'll give you that one

K: I didn’t hate it, but I also don't keep up with SNL so maybe my Kate McKinnon oversaturation point is just way different from everyone else’s

His voice impressions were supposed to be anytime he was angry or disagrees with something. I think it added levity to some of the more stressful moments

ADAM: I liked how they poked fun at YA and the twist with Wolf Trials

K: But our readers may appreciate this Mary Sue article defending YA

MARCHAE: HA!

MARCHAE: but i feel like there was so much to like there

ADAM: Here’s a question: In two parts. Sam and Ethan got together when they were Freshmen right?

MARCHAE: yup i think so ( I feel like now I have the PLEASURE of going back to rewatch)

ADAM: Ethan and Lisa got together when he was a Senior and she was Freshmen

MARCHAE: yeah

ADAM: Sam explains they kept having these flings why didn’t they just stay together?

MARCHAE: I honestly thought the same thing - however, I assumed it was because she said whenever they are together she makes poor choices

ADAM: I mean shit, he carved their initials into his dorm wall

MARCHAE: RIGHT!

I will say I questioned the same thing many many many many times and if it was anything that bugged me that was kind of it

ADAM: Smart thing to do is that they never got together in college and are now doing it

MARCHAE: AGREED on that front

ADAM: That speaks to the unevenness of the story

MARCHAE: I think I explained it kind of like they are magnetic for each other ( I don’t necessarily mean it romantically though)

K: Does the show ever really sell this? I don’t think it gives Annie Parisse enough to work with as Sam.

ADAM: They NEVER explain why they didn’t just stay together

MARCHAE: they can’t not be together. Although I probably assigned more of a narrative to the relationship than the show provided

ADAM: its possible because the creators did not. It seems like a pretty big plot device to really overlook

MARCHAE: I think we are supposed to assume that they were each others one who got away yet never got away because they are all still very much good friends?

K: We shouldn’t have to assume!

ADAM: Also, if he writes these critical acclaimed books why is he so sad?

MARCHAE: CAUSE WRITING IS SAD

You know this

I know this!

ADAM: i write and I’m never sad

K: Wait what

MARCHAE: LOL

I think it’s been awhile since his last well received publication. he’s in a bit of a dry spell is how I read it…

(I feel like you’re making me question what I liked about this show?!?!?!)

(Suddenly I’m like wait a minute?)

ADAM: isn’t that the point?

I took it that he is coming off of another critically acclaimed novel that no one is buying because print is dead, and he’s pissed because he wants Harry Potter money

MARCHAE: I totally didn’t get that at all! I thought he didn’t want to be like that at all... he’s into Literature and Max knows that that’s where the money is and Max’s reputation is on the line as well. I think that Ethan would be happy writing his broody novels featuring a teen

ADAM: Ok I would say that it is Max pulling the strings on that

If I had several books that many critics loved I would be happy because I know that it will live on through the ages and be taught in freshmen lit classes

K: I grant this given the additional condition that Ethan is obviously not hurting for money, whether it’s because of his own sales or because of Lisa’s career. But if I had only critical acclaim and had trouble supporting myself I would not be happy

It goes back to my argument of these are not interesting people

Just because they’re dicks does not make them interesting

K: EXACTLY. It’s not good enough in prestige drama, and it’s definitely not good enough in a comedy that wants to be feel-good at least some of the time.

MARCHAE: I think he had two... and when you have some fame you always want more

THEY ARE INTERESTING. don’t you want to know the answers to all of the questions you’ve posed? Why did Sam and Ethan just not stay together?

K: The show should have answered all these questions by the end of the season, because they’re mostly not plot mysteries, they’re essential to character motivation.

ADAM: I don’t think it will get a second season

MARCHAE: What happens with Felix and Max?

IT BETTER!!!! I legitimately thought it was hilarious

it reminded me of Melvin Goes to Dinner

ADAM: I haven’t seen Melvin Goes to Dinner so I cannot relate

MARCHAE: Watch it..it’s a great little indie flick

ADAM: I will

MARCHAE: So what did you like about it

ADAM: Can I say one more thing about the non interesting part then I will say what I liked about it.

MARCHAE: go for it

ADAM: These are white collar people, living in upper crust urban areas, with country houses worrying about how they can keep their upper crust life when they are the ones who put themselves in this situation

MARCHAE: and it’s all falling apart (also Ethan and Sam Lisa are living on Marianne’s couch)

ADAM: meh. I will say this:

MARCHAE: MEH! ADAM come on!!!

ADAM: Even though I had my thoughts on Lisa she is the most interesting person on that show

K: YES

MARCHAE: BOOM!!!

I like Sam too. I think she’s the most complicated character

ADAM: Well and Felix because Billy Eichner plays a great straight man

She’s the most real

Billy Eichner does a great straight man which is different from his normal routine.

Nat Faxon has the best one liners. But I think that is Nat Faxon and not the writers

K: Everyone should watch the short-lived Ben and Kate, also starring a pre-50 Shades Dakota Johnson. But I think Marianne had the best one-liners.

Because Nat Faxon is actually a talented writer

K: With director Alexander Payne and fellow comedy actor Jim Rash, Faxon won a Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for The Descendants.

That’s all I somewhat enjoyed, but that’s not enough when the show clearly hinges on Ethan and Sam.

MARCHAE: WOW!

I thought that Sam was great. I liked not knowing what the heck had happened at some points... think about it

when we meet people we only know what we know about them from that moment forward - anything else is their retelling of it - so it was nice to not know and try to figure it out

ADAM: Not knowing what?

What are we not knowing?

MARCHAE: I think Sam’s psychology as well as the how and why she and Ethan stayed together

ADAM: She has no problem fucking around and screwing over Lisa when she knows Ethan and Lisa are trying to conceive

MARCHAE: No that doesn’t make her likable but it does make her complicated

ADAM: Plus she would rather cheat on her husband, who all accounts loves and adores her, he threw her that amazing birthday party, than have Ethan say something and ruin her life

MARCHAE: (btw I think what she did was WRONG on so many levels and I wanted to fight her...she was selfish and needed to be punched and I was sad Lisa never did it)

ADAM: She would just rather ruin everyone else’s life

MARCHAE: I think her husband loves the idea of her and her family but she is selfish that makes her complicated

ADAM: She’s not complicated

She’s spoiled

MARCHAE: But I think she might be there has to be something going on that makes a person say hey I know I make bad choices when I am with person X

and engage in illicit behavior but I am going to keep doing it

I found myself the whole show trying to figure her out

K: I don’t think this is to the show’s credit, though, I think it’s evidence that the show fails to flesh her out or make her internally coherent.

ADAM: I just kept yelling at her

She deserves NOTHING!

MARCHAE: Oh my god! But that’s what I mean we don’t know how she got there

ADAM: Yes we do

She couldn’t/wouldn’t be with Ethan so she married a rich guy, but still realized that she wanted Ethan and would sleep with him every time she visited.

MARCHAE: LOLOL

ADAM: Then instead of breaking things off when Ethan moved to NY she kept at it

MARCHAE: But we don’t know WHY she couldn’t or wouldn’t, which is the FUN of the character but tried to get help

ADAM: But she does not want her privileged life to go away and still wants to fuck around

MARCHAE: but like I said they are magnetic for each other

she doesn’t want to lose her kids

K: But Sam just keeps saying this, and we don’t ever see her interact with her kids in a meaningful way -- even in the Harvard episode, which would’ve been great for that -- or see how incredible the life is that she would lose. It’s the opposite of Show Don’t Tell! But also, if they actually showed her incredible life, she’d be even harder to empathize with.

ADAM: I don’t care for the why on that deep of a level

MARCHAE: she’d still be very much privileged

and I think that’s kind of the cool thing, cool being relative, is that it is going to implode on them. And it’s going to be epic when it does. And we will watch and laugh

ADAM: Doubtful because I don’t think it will get renewed

MARCHAE: SMH

ADAM: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/friends_from_college/s01/

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/07/163100/friends-from-college-ethan-sam-cheating-infidelity-

MARCHAE: AUDIENCE SCORE 55%!!!

ADAM: That’s an F

MARCHAE: see that’s the problem - don’t base your opinion on the critics

that’s over half and there are a lot of things that win with just over half

ADAM: I’m not

MARCHAE: LOTS

ADAM: I watched it

MARCHAE: *sighs* look I am onboard to stick around next season and I feel like in that season they will explore some of the why’s that we need in order to feel more “complete” if you will

K: THEY SHOULD TELL A COMPLETE STORY IN ONE SEASON

ADAM: I’ll watch it see the train wreck that it will be. IF they bring it back

MARCHAE: They WILL bring it back and you and I will be right back here AGAIN.

Anything else you want to mention about how much you LOVED the show?

ADAM: If you want, I can include all the reviews that agree with me that hate it

Ok you asked what I liked. What didn’t you like?

MARCHAE: that would be hilarious. Do it

Well I thought it was hilarious for one thing. just the sheer level of immaturity

I also appreciated seeing folks questioning their lives at this age

ADAM: I think that’s a played out trope

MARCHAE: in theory they are “supposed to” have it all together and they don’t

I think we see it in movies like Sisters or what’s the one with the guys

the man gets a face tat

K: The Hangover? 2, maybe?

but I don’t think we see it with a group of people just trying to be somewhat functional and live their lives

Sam Lisa and Ethan are for all practical purposes homeless

we don’t know why they have enough money for IVF but can’t buy a house but who cares

K: ME

they are a hot mess

and i think that’s what I appreciated is that it was a hot mess

and your clothes can look nice

and your job be great and you are still at the end of the day unhappy and wanting more

and you are fumbling to figure out how to get to that point

and that you do it at 20, 30, 40 and they’ll still be at it at 50 or 60

that no one is actualized enough to be transparent enough to say: YOU MAKE ME UNHAPPY. but we fall into this routine of doing things because we are supposed to...they are supposed to be friends

supposed to marry the guy with all the money

supposed to have kids

and it’s all crumbling because they are ultimately toxic for one another

that’s fun to watch!

K: This is a very eloquent case for the show in theory, but I just don’t see it in practice. I think you’re doing a lot of the heavy lifting for the show. I’m glad it works for you, but I don’t think that’s how madcap ensemble comedies are supposed to function.

ADAM: This whole I’m turning 40 mid life crisis thing does not entertain me.

Especially when you have these well off people. It’s like the Breakfast Club. I hate that movie

A bunch of whiny teens with no real problems, other than Bender.

MARCHAE: but those are kids. watching adults still fumble isn’t terrible to me especially those who are doing the most

(Also i thought it was HILARIOUS)

ADAM: Wait did you think it was hilarious?

MARCHAE: The whole thing!

I thought it was witty. There were literally points where I laughed out loud

The vineyard

The brainstorm at Max and Felix’s

The throwing of the chair though the pharmacy

ADAM: That is the directors asking Ethan to do Key and Peele shit

MARCHAE: it’s funny though

K: I hated all of these things because they’re just free-standing slapstick sequences, and didn’t feel motivated by the story.

now to speak to some of the things you didn’t like

I would have liked a bit more drama

(but I prefer drama to comedy 7 out of 7 days of the week...)

I also wanted more backstory somehow about WHY these people are still friends

so I don’t think it was perfect

but it was easily one of the better things I’ve watch for a comedy in a while

barring like Insecure

ADAM: That seems like a pretty big concern

MARCHAE: I can usually forgive it if the characters are interesting...WHICH THEY WERE

and I think we will be explained more of that in SEASON 2!

ADAM: I don’t have faith in that

MARCHAE: 😟

Do you have anything else you want to add about this show that you ...er... love so much 😊

(Also I swear if it gets a season 2 we. will. react.)

K: I actually will not be surprised if it gets a second season, assuming the cast is in. It doesn’t seem cheap to shoot but it’s also relatively limited in its locations.

ADAM: I swear to react IF it gets a second season

MARCHAE: YES!!!

ADAM: I don’t think I have really anything else to say about these boring people

K: And you guys never even touched on Marianne, Jae Suh Park’s character. Maybe because she’s barely a character. Park gave killer readings to her one-liners (“Has it ever worked?” “Not to my knowledge.”), and I personally would love to see her in more things. But every time it seemed like she might have an actual story, it fizzled out pretty much immediately. Plus a lot of her New Agey GOOP bullshit seems like it should’ve come from an insufferable white lady, not the show’s only Asian character.

MARCHAE: had to get one last dig in didn’t ya?

Well I say this has been a joy!!!

ADAM: It really has

Maybe next time we can react to something we agree on...

Like Die Hard

MARCHAE: YESSSSS!!!!!!

Let’s plan for this!

ADAM: Whenever wherever

Kris was agitating for a Marchae-Adam Die Hard reaction even before Friends from College came up, and would endorse an ongoing Marchae and Adam React to the 80s series. Expect to see more from Adam in the not-too-distant future! And we have yet another excellent Guest Reactor on deck, so you might want to brush up on your X-Men cartoons...

In the meantime, you can follow us on Twitter, where Kris retweets a lot of critics, screenwriters, and actors in between posting Reactions.

#Friends from College #Netflix #Keegan-Michael Key #Cobie Smulders #Fred Savage #Annie Parisse #Nat Faxon #Jae Suh Park #Billy Eichner #TV #guest reactors #Marchae #Adam #Kris after the fact #reaction

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americanahighways · 5 years

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photos by Jimmy Faber

There’s something relaxed and comfortable about Hayes Carll, so that listening to his tunes sometimes feels like slipping into an old, favorite pair of jeans. He’s easy to get into, doesn’t chafe, and feels snug and familiar. After a while you start feeling like you could happily sit around with him all evening, just telling stories and shootin’ the breeze.

That’s partly because his chord changes and melodies really ARE familiar, since he borrows copiously — though nimbly and tastefully — from his Austin-area influences: Ray Wylie Hubbard, Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson and Guy Clark. He has also clearly studied the song-craft of folks like Bob Dylan, John Prine and Steve Earle — whose former -ex, Allison Moorer, Carll legendarily “stole,” to Earle’s dismay — along with other, younger Americana penmen like Todd Snider and Ryan Adams. Nevertheless, Carll’s is an original and invigorating voice rather than a merely derivative one.

Carll also has the kind of laid-back, drawling persona that can lull you into thinking he’s not going anywhere quick, when all of a sudden — WHAM! — it hits you that he just snuck another genius line or unshakeable melody deep into your subconscious, where it’s likely to sit and ferment until it hits you hard between the eyes.

He’s a sneaky puncher, that guy.

And then every once in a while his serious, more edgy, political side shows up to remind you that he has a less laid-back, more observant side, too. Though he’s only 43 years old, with just six albums to his credit, it seems like he’s been around (and been through) a whole lot more. In short, he seems like an old, wise soul at times, who has maybe gleaned more than a few nuggets of wisdom from his friend and mentor Ray Wylie.

Carll’s performance with his band The Gulf Coast Orchestra (featuring Travis Linville on steel, guitar, and dobro, Mike Meadows on drums, Geena Spigarelli on bass, and Cory Younts on piano, mandolin, and harmonica) at the Ardmore Music Hall on April 4 exhibited all of the above-mentioned qualities. His 22 song set (including three encore numbers) spanned his entire career, with a natural emphasis on his new album, What It Is.

Dressed in his customary blue, Western-cut workshirt, jeans and boots, and playing a trusty, scratched-up Gibson J-45, Carll choose to open the show with the train-beat propelled country honker “If I May Be So Bold.” Interestingly, No Depression had recently published an essay/statement of Hayes’ by the same title, in which he took a public stance with regard the country’s wide political divide. Though he felt uncomfortable about “being seen” in that way, he felt he finally had to do so after suffering an ugly on-line incident. (In brief: after Carll announced via social media that he would be playing a concert in support of Beto O’Rourke, “someone left a comment stating that he hoped I got shot on stage.” You can read his full response to the incident via the link provided below.)

In a way, starting the show with that particular song was like making a statement about a statement, saying in effect: This is who I am, take it or leave it. Or as he says in the essay, “I’ve decided I would rather be criticized for the things I believe in than be embraced for the things I don’t.”

Statement made, Carll proceeded to show his kinder, gentler side via ballads like “Nonya Business,” “In Times Like These” (which he introduced via a story about the time he and Allison Moorer made up a persona — a librarian — during a Southwestern Airlines flight), and “Jesus and Elvis” (about Lala’s Little Nugget, in North Austin). He interspersed those tunes with others highlighting his pointedly political side, such as the irony-laced “Fragile Men,” as well as his rowdier side with rockers like the joyous “Beautiful Thing” (from the new album) and the scorcher “KMAG YOYO” (an abbreviation for the military phrase “Kiss my ass goodbye, you’re on your own).

The band exited the stage after that last number, leaving Carll to accompany himself on the lovely “Beaumont” from 2008’s breakthrough Trouble in Mind, which he followed with his lilting, cheerful tale about the quirky courtship of Billy and Katey, “Girl Downtown.” Linville returned to the stage to accompany Hayes on dobro for the latter tune.

The rest of the band rejoined Carll and Linville and quickly picked up where they had left off with a rousing version of the Hubbard classic “Drunken Poet’s Dream.” They followed that with “What It Is” off the new album, which featured a tasteful dobro solo by Linville; the humorous “I Got a Gig” from Trouble in Mind, Carll’s rocking version of Scott Nolan’s “Bad Liver and a Broken Heart,” which drew thunderous applause from the crowd; “It’s a Shame,” solidly anchored by Spigarelli’s loping bass; and finally a kickass version of “Stomp and Holler,” which got the audience doing exactly what the title says.

Carll and company’s encore consisted of three tunes: the ballad “I Will Stay,” during which Carll held the audience completely in thrall (you could hear the proverbial pin drop as it ended); “Wild as a Turkey,” whose steady thumping beat was ably provided by Meadows, while Linville added another nice dobro/slide solo; and finally, Carll’s lyrical tour de force, “Sake of the Song.”

By show’s end the comfort level between Carll and the audience was beyond that of a cowboy and his favorite pair of jeans; it was well nigh down to the skivvies. Carll seemed particularly happy with the venue, noting that he usually plays “The type of place that has a mechanical sheep.” I’m not exactly sure what that means, but like the rest of the audience I enjoyed the casual, drawling way he said it.

—————

Ben Dickey, who opened for Carll and his band, was a bit more of an enigma to me. Like many other audience members, no doubt, I was intrigued to see how Dickey’s on-stage persona might align (or not) with his amazing on-screen portrayal of Blaze Foley in Ethan Hawke’s film “Blaze.” Despite his lack of experience as an actor Dickey absolutely owned that role and seemed completely comfortable and convincing in conveying the title character’s legendarily cantankerous, outsized personality.

He didn’t seem quite as outsized as a solo, live performer on stage, however, though his guitar chops were pretty darned impressive. Playing a black semi- hollow 1935 Gibson archtop through a chorus pedal, and at times running that combo through a looper pedal to stack multiple layers of guitar tones, Dickey provided a nifty nine-song set that culminated with a trio of tunes by John Prine (“Long Monday”), Blaze Foley (the unmistakable “Clay Pigeons”) and Townes van Zandt (“No Place to Fall”). Dickey sang that last tune with conviction, delivering its dark delicacy beautifully. Its legendary author no doubt would have approved.

Dickey seemed slightly more circumspect in delivering his originals, however. Perhaps it was nervousness in returning to the city (Philadelphia) where he’d struggled through some hard times, working feverishly as a chef at the fabled music club Johnny Brenda’s and experiencing “some kind of breakdown” after his band Blood Feathers broke up and a good friend died in a bicycle accident — this was before Hawke drafted him for the lead role in Blaze — but Dickey’s interactions with the audience seemed a bit halting at times. The only reference he made to his Philly past came when he mentioned the local phrase “down the shore” — “I never heard that phrase before I came here,” he said. No further comment was extended.

He was similarly reticent on the topic of portraying a songwriting legend like Foley. That experience was “really strange,” he said — “mystical and magical” — but he did not proffer any specifics about why, or what had made it so.

Which was just fine, as long as he was dazzling us with his nimble guitar playing and somewhat unexpected tunes. The chorus of the balled “Man with a Hammer” goes “Tallyhoo, time to go / Lay down your bones to be free, old soul,” which sounds rather old-timey; but when mated with chorus and tremolo effects pushed through a slowly distorting looper pedal, it became something else entirely. During an upbeat blues number with a strong affinity to Dylan’s “Highway 61,” Dickey shredded on a rockabilly style solo; another song had the flavor of surf music-meets-psychedelic rock, while a fourth featured a nifty bridge with R & B flavored stops.

The man definitely has some chops, and his voice has a husky, pleasantly Dylanesque quality to it. I’m hopeful that Dickey will begin to open up and establish even more of a rapport with his audiences, so he can convey the kind of breathtaking intimacy his portrayal of Foley delivers. He’s definitely a talent to keep your eyes on, whether for his acting or musical endeavors.

—————

Upcoming tour dates for Hayes Carll, along with videos, recordings and merchandise, can be found at: http://www.hayescarll.com

Carll’s essay “If I May Be So Bold” can be found at: https://www.nodepression.com/if-i-may-be-so-bold-an-essay-by-hayes-carll/

Americana Highways’ review of Hayes Carll’s What It Is can be found at: https:// americanahighways.org/2019/02/14/review-hayes-carlls-what-it-is/ and interview with Hayes Carll is here: Interview: Hayes Carll on “What It Is,” Reading More and a Sense of Humor

More info on Ben Dickey, along with tour dates, videos and music can be found at: https://www.bendickeymusic.com

An account of Dickey’s time in Philadelphia (entitled “When musician Ben Dickey left Philadelphia, he was depressed. Now, he’s a movie star”) can be read at: https://www.philly.com/entertainment/music/ben-dickey-ethan-hawke-blaze-foley-20190329.html

Americana Highways’ recent interview with Ben Dickey’s can be found at: Ben Dickey Releases “A Glimmer on the Outskirts”

Review: Hayes Carll and Ben Dickey: An Old, Comfy Pair of Jeans and a Bit of An Enigma @hayescarll @bendickeymusic @alleyesmedia @ardmoremusicPA photos by Jimmy Faber There's something relaxed and comfortable about Hayes Carll, so that listening to his tunes sometimes feels like slipping into an old, favorite pair of jeans.

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diamondzwithsoundz-blog · 5 years

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Session 8: Performance Day

Today was our last practice session before tonights performance. We were all feeling positive, despite it being a 9am start.

Our aim today was to run through the songs in order, as many times as we could. Our confirmed song order is 1. Come Together, 2. Somebody Else and then ending the performance on a cheerful note with the third song being, Dancing In The Moonlight. We focused predominately on ‘Come Together’ as it seemed to be the song we all felt needed additional attention. After we felt it was up to the highest standard, we then continued to play through the other songs.

We have decided that for the last few choruses towards the end of ‘Somebody Else’, Ethan will sing the melody line, and I will do a higher harmony over him just to mix things up a little. Furthermore, in come together I will be playing short staccato notes throughout the song but only during in verses to thicken the texture and then when Brad sings the iconic, ‘Come Together right now’ I play the same notes that he sings. I also have a small section whereby I have a solo and I believe this will really make us as a band stand out as there is a sax part incorporated into every song. Towards the end of the song, I show off my lower range on sax and start playing drone notes which are then followed by the correlating vocal and sax, ‘Come together right now’ notes.

Throughout the practice, if someone felt we could perform a song better, we would start the song again, identify what we could improve and then perform with more energy whilst considering what we could work on. An example of this can be seen when I felt I needed to project more with my vocals so I asked if we could start the song again, and then I ensured I used my diaphragm for additional support with projection.

The rehearsals went well, the harmonies blend nicely and the band as a whole sounds great and professional.

Tonight, I need to focus on being confident when playing sax (as it is the first time I have played in front of an audience in around a year and a half- I have never played alone only in a big school band) and not worry about getting the odd squeak. I need to think about my stage presence as well. Looking up and out towards the spectators rather than down as this implies that I am lacking confidence and nervous. Looking up and out will help with projection and posture for both vocals and saxophone too.

Everyone sounds so brilliant and I am so excited to perform tonight. I feel like our band has a great team spirit, energy, we all support, listen and there is a family like feel; I hope this is reflected throughout the performance.

The performance

I personally loved every moment of it. I loved seeing all of my class peers perform everyone has such talent and is just outstanding. Our band did so well; we had band chemistry, on stage communication and we had fun which is the most important thing. I believe our performance was natural and genuine. Even our lecturer Bob, came up to us and complimented us on how real our performance was as we were all having fun and dancing around.

As it went so well we all went out and celebrated after and had a fair few drinks!

Feedback from our lecturer included:

Guitar tone was a bit boomy

Ensure sax is in pitch

Let yourself go on sax and trumpet so more confidence

Embouchure

get a guitar stand, sax stand, trumpet stand as dan was playing bass and trumpet in one song

Fun

good performance skills

best ‘come together’ due to the energy, stage craft, communication and vibe on stage. We were the only group to not play the classic bass riff from the song- we really made it our own

different lead singer for each song made it exciting

good sax solo around melody

great drums/ drum beats: Kris the drummer did a fab job as he was seriously out of his comfort zone with the style of music we were playing he prefers pop punk

Dancing in the moonlight was tight and effective with the drum patterns

I look forward to gigging more often.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v40Lpi-Fyg

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thrashermaxey · 6 years

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Ramblings: DeBrusk’s Future, Sekera’s Injury, Ellis in 2018-19, and More – August 16

We are seven weeks away from the beginning of the season and that time will pass quickly. Before we know it, parts of the fantasy hockey community will be scrambling to prepare for drafts.

Don’t be one of those people scrambling for drafts by grabbing your copy of the 2018-19 Dobber Hockey fantasy guide! It has projections, articles, and a whole lot more. Head to the Dobber Shop and procure yours now.

In my Ramblings a couple days ago, I implored readers to keep Jake DeBrusk high on the draft lists, drafting him as often as possible. I went back through the archives and thought I had written on DeBrusk’s 2017-18 season but apparently that is not the case. Let’s rectify that.

I don’t want to keep looking back on last year but it gives us good insight into 2018-19.

At first blush, DeBrusk’s time in the AHL wasn’t overly impressive. While 49 points in 74 games in his age-20 season is nothing to dismiss out of hand, it was nowhere near the best in the league. The thing is, that Providence Bruins team wasn’t a high-scoring one, or at least they spread the scoring around; DeBrusk finished second on the team in points while Jordan Szwarz led with 54. Not bad.

Fast forward to 2017-18 and DeBrusk had 43 points in 70 games in the NHL. How did he get there?

The first thing that stuck out to me early in the season was DeBrusk’s ability to get to the net. I even wrote about that after their first game! While getting to the net isn’t in and of itself a guarantee of production, we’ve seen how it can help players like Patric Hornqvist and Brendan Gallagher have very successful seasons.

To better visualize DeBrusk’s shot locations, here is his 2017-18 shot density compared to Gallagher’s, with the viz pulled from Hockeyviz.com:

Beyond shot location is shot rate. DeBrusk launched 14.45 shot attempts per 60 minutes at five-on-five last year. That was slightly below David Pastrnak and slightly above Brad Marchand. League-wide, that rate compares to Artemi Panarin (14.57) and Sebastian Aho (14.44). Those are all very impressive names to be around.

If you want to compare shot rates to players close to his age, the only players with higher shot rates last year who were also in their age-21 season or younger were Kevin Fiala (17.92), Alex DeBrincat (16.47), Sam Bennett (16.02), Brock Boeser (15.22), Pastrnak, Jack Eichel (14.71), and Mitch Marner (14.56). Depending on your view of Bennett, those are all exceptional young talents with whom DeBrusk finds himself in company.

DeBrusk was eighth in 5v5 TOI per game last year, eighth among Bruins forwards. He was below David Krejci, David Backes, Riley Nash, and Danton Heinen, on top of the Big Three. That third line, which was so good last year, won’t look the same this year. With natural progression, we could see about another minute added to DeBrusk’s TOI totals, which should add a few points alone.

Finally, there’s the question of the power play. That was brought up in my Ramblings yesterday and the immediate threat is Ryan Donato. It was Donato given top PP minutes when he was called up whereas DeBrusk almost exclusively stayed on the second PP unit. It is a fair concern, but my thinking is that DeBrusk is more of a net-front player (as evidenced by his shot locations) than Donato, and that’s the role they need to fill with the departure of Rick Nash. I will fully admit that it may be Donato, in which case DeBrusk’s upside takes a big ding, but this is a case where I think one player fits the role better than the other.

I won't dig into all the other stats like expected goals and on-ice shooting percentage but they will be factored into my projections.

There are a large range of outcomes for DeBrusk depending on his PP usage. He has 60-point upside if he can get those top minutes. If not, he could slide into the 45-50 range. More than anything, the point is I believe he’ll return a profit on his ADP, especially if he keeps improving those hit totals (he averaged one per game last year playing under 15 minutes a night). I’ve mentioned before my projections won’t be ready for a few weeks yet, but I can say with certainty that DeBrusk will be one of my most-drafted players this year.

Feel free to disagree in the comments.

The Ducks signed winger Ondrej Kase to a three-year deal carrying at $2.6-million AAV.

I wrote about Kase back in early July and the same thoughts hold up. I will be writing about him more over the coming month or so.

While I’m thinking of it, it’ll be interesting to see the ADPs of both Donato and DeBrusk. Donato was only around in limited minutes and it’s easy to overlook DeBrusk on a team with names like Bergeron, Marchand, Pastrnak, McAvoy, and Krug. Fortunately, we won’t have to wait much longer to see where some ADPs fall:

.@YahooSports confirms @YahooSportsNHL team and league registration will open August 16, 2018 and run until March 10, 2019.

First day for live draft – August 20, 2018

Last day for live draft – March 3, 2019 #FantasyHockey #NHL pic.twitter.com/nEX71D7YaV

— Fantasy Hockey Geek (@FantasyHockeyGk) August 15, 2018

Hurray!

Andrej Sekera has undergone surgery to repair a torn Achilles. While some initial speculation puts the timeframe at around six months, I will say I’ll be stunned if he’s back anytime around the All-Star Game. If he can make it back at any point in the 2018-19 season, that should be seen as a win.

No, I’m not a doctor.

Ian covered the injury from his perspective in his Ramblings yesterday.

On top of Ethan Bear and Evan Bouchard, I want to just say this: it was better for an injury for the Oilers to come from the left side than the right. They still have Oscar Klefbom and Darnell Nurse (once he’s signed), and they can run (or will have to run) Kris Russell on the third pair. It’s the right side where they’re shallow so at least it’s from a position of relative strength.

What this injury does is a few things. It locks Klefbom into the top pair role, it locks Nurse into the second pair, and it eliminates competition for the top PP unit. Remember that a couple years ago, Sekera had taken some top PP minutes from Klefbom. There is still Nurse lurking around, but it’s one fewer guy for Klefbom owners to worry about. Whether those top PP minutes bring substantial production is uncertain given how they performed last year, but at the least, the minutes will be there.

It’s very unfortunate for this injury to hit, though. Even if they’re strong on the left side, the Oilers can ill afford to lose any impact defenceman and he’s just a fun defenceman to watch anyway. Let’s hope he can return faster than I think he can.

For those wanting to read more on Bouchard, visit his Dobber Prospects profile here. One thing working in his favour is they desperately need right-shooting defencemen; right now, it’s Adam Larsson and Matt Benning. If they don’t sign anyone else, it’s plausible he makes the roster. Though I assume they’ll give him at least another year before making the roster full time. We’ll see.

Ryan Ellis signed a new contract and this is probably one of those situations where he’s going to be a much better real-world asset than fantasy asset.

A lot of people will be excited with his 32 points in 44 games. That’s all well and good. There are red flags, though.

First is the injuries. He’s played 332 games since the 2012-13 lockout year out of a possible 410. That’s an average of 66.4 games played per 82. Now, that’s an average dragged down by two significant injuries because he’s played at least 70 games in three of the last five years. But he’s also missed at least 10 games in three of the last five years. That’s always something with which to be concerned.

There’s also the assist rate. He had 23 assists last year (remember, in 44 games), and that was a career high. His secondary assist rate at five-on-five was 0.7 per 60 minutes, a career-high. He had never cracked the 0.5 mark before, and his previous three seasons were 0.19, 0.32, and 0.4. If he had that secondary assist rate last year, it would have more than tripled his total of secondary assists at five-on-five. We know that second assists are usually random and expecting him to replicate anything close to the rate he had in 2017-18 is misguided.

His shot rate did jump which is a big reason to think he’ll have a solid goal-scoring floor. The problem is that it’s just a 44-game sample. He had a shot attempt/60 minutes rate at five-on-five of 12.3 last year. He had never cracked double-digits before, so it was a significant deviation from his norm. Shot rates across the league increased, but if I recall correctly, it was around 4-5% on average. Ellis’s rate jumped over 24 percent. It could be a new norm, or it could be a blip due to a half-season sample.

Remember that Ellis has never broken the 40-point mark. If he played a full 82-game season, maybe he can get there. But he’s also third on the depth chart for PP minutes and won’t come close to that top PP unit as long as both Roman Josi and PK Subban are in the lineup. I think extrapolating Ellis’s 2017-18 year to 2018-19 will lead a lot of people astray. I’ll be drafting him with the expectation of 40 points, not 50 or more. That likely means he won’t be on any of my teams this year.

I’m aware this is a significant deviation from what Dobber has in the guide. There will be many instances where he and I do not agree (DeBrusk’s PP role was another). That’s fine! Good-faith debate among reasonable people is important to learning in fantasy, or just in life in general. If we all agreed all the time, it would render fantasy sports rather boring.

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-debrusks-future-sekeras-injury-ellis-in-2018-19-and-more-august-16/

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mitchbeck · 4 years

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CANTLON: (WED) PACK KNOCK OFF SPRINGFIELD IN HISTORIC WIN

BY: Gerry Cantlon, Howlings HARTFORD, CT - The Hartford Wolf Pack got two goals each from Patrick Newell and Vinni Lettieri and outlasted the Springfield Thunderbirds, 7-4, for the team's 27th win of the season and the 500th in franchise history. The game featured five lead changes and 64 shots. The game-winner came as a result of hard work and a little bit of luck as Newell easily deposited his sixth of the season and second of the game into an open net. While on a shift change, Newell found himself on the receiving of a Nick Jones pass from the left-wing circle “I got a fortunate change on that second one. I was (lucky) to be on the ice with (Jones). The puck was just sitting there for me, and I was able to put in,” Newell, in a laconic, low-key, So-Cal speaking style said of the goal that gave him his first professional multiple-goal game. The first place Wolf Pack has a record of 27-11-4-5 (63 points) and pulled ahead of the idle Hershey Bears by two points. The team continues its red-hot home record of 20-1-0-2. They have won 12 straight. The team's record when leading after two periods remains unblemished at 19-0-1-2. “We didn’t talk about too much before the game actually. Just a couple of items. We're much better on those (than Saturday) in Springfield. Our D corps played so very well and our scoring did so well. It's because of our D corps.” The Wolf Pack had 11 different players pick up points. “We do so much better when we have four lines contributing like they did tonight. Everybody had a hand in it tonight. We just gotta keep it rolling into the weekend,” remarked Tim Gettinger, one of the 11 previously mentioned. In the third period, the Pack was able to pull away on a right-wing rush by Vitali Kravtsov, who put a smooth pass beyond the reach of two Springfield d-men, Tommy Cross and Brady Keeper. Lettieri with a wide-open net didn’t miss and tallied his second of the night and 21st of the season. Jones had another quite effective night and made himself the fourth Wolf Pack player to have multiple points in the game with an empty netter with 17.4 seconds left. Adam Huska earned his first pro point with an assist to close out the Thunderbirds at 7-4. “We rely on him for his defensive play a lot, winning key faceoffs, penalty kill work. It’s really nice to see guys like that get rewarded. They deserve it because they’re playing the right way. Jones played an excellent game tonight,” said Pack head coach, Kris Knoblauch. Huska (26 saves) was not perfect, but in the third period, he made terrific saves that kept Springfield from tying the game. “Credit to Huska in the third period. We needed him, and he stood strong making big saves and playing the puck strongly.” Knoblauch said. In the second period, the Thunderbirds head coach, Geordie Kinnear, switched goalies bringing in Philippe Desrosiers for Ryan Bednard. The two teams managed just five shots in the list 7:40 missing the net several times as well. Springfield managed to tie the game at three. Daniel Audette collected his second goal of the night taking a short pass from Jack Rodewald. He moved in the slot put the puck through Gettinger's legs and under his stick. Audette collected the puck and lifted a backhander and deposited it on the top shelf at 10:42. At 12:13 the Pack answered back to restore the lead at 4-3. After missing the net seconds earlier, Steven Fogarty didn’t miss the second time. Fogarty got a perfect short pass from Kravtsov and got inside position on the Thunderbirds' Rodrigo Abols and lifted his 12th goal of the season with the backhand past Desrosiers. The goal and the captain scoring it was big for the Wolf Pack. “Fogarty is a big part of why we have success. He pushes everyone to do well and leads by example,” Lettieri said in speaking of the team captain. Ethan Prow got the puck off the right-wing boards on a cross-ice pass on a break-in as the Thunderbirds Jonathan Ang took Libor Hajek out, leaving a wide-open lane. Prow’s shot cleanly beat Huska to the far side for his sixth goal matching his jersey number. The Wolf Pack struck first in this game. Danny O’Regan won a faceoff from Springfield’s Alexei Saarela and Newell, his new, old linemate, picked up the puck and circled around the linesman using him as a pick then fired off wing a high-shot. The puck hit Bednard in the arm and went over the goal line for Newell's fourth goal of the season at 2:35. “I was happy for Newy he played well and didn’t surprise us that’s what we expect of him. He and Danny have a thing together back in November and December when we had them together so we reunited them and they played well together. Ski’s (Matt Beleskey) complimented them well. O’Regan's veteran value was shown on that play before it started. “Not only is Danny a good faceoff guy, but he's a good coach. Before they went out on the ice, Danny told Newell what they were doing and they got the goal. Maybe we'll have Danny call up more plays,” Knoblauch jokingly said of his “new” would-be assistant coach. The Thunderbirds tied the game at one converting an offensive zone turnover into a scoring play. Fogarty had a left-wing shot stopped and Lettieri retrieved the loose puck. Fogarty cut to the middle and Lettieri’s pass went the other way. Tommy Cross (Simsbury/Westminster Prep) got the puck put a quick pass on Saarela's stick, the former Rangers draft pick came across the Wolf Pack blue line at full speed. Saarela made a nice move on Vincent LoVerde at the blue line and had two wingers open on the left side. He hit Danielle Audette, the son of former NHL’er Donald Audette with a perfect cross-ice pass. Audette wasted little time putting his 11th of the season into the back of the net at 10:05. The Wolf Pack answered back 2:42 later. Gettinger got to a loose puck and snapped a hard wrister from 35 feet out that cleanly went between Bednard's left arm to regain the lead at 2-1. Springfield answered back in kind to tie the game at two. Henrik Bogstrom won a one-on-one battle along the right-wing boards and shuffled the puck to Matt Mangene at the right point. He sent a shot that kept rising and eluded Huska at 13:01. It was Mangene’s first of the season. The Wolf Pack came back yet again as Lettieri pocketed his 20th of the season at 16:27 to make it 3-2. Jeff Taylor at the left point took Joey Keane’s pass put a short pass on Lettieri's stick blade as he cut to the middle the lane was blocked. Lettieri curled back into the left-wing circle and then with Fogarty at the net he used Springfield defenseman Thomas Schmetisch as a screen and fired the shot that Bednard never saw beating him short-side. Lettieri’s goal made it 23 straight seasons the Wolf Pack have had at least one 20 goal scorer. “Taylor had the patience of a kindergarten teacher waiting to find me,” joked Lettieri with a wry smile. “He made a great pass.” Now it's on to Charlotte for a pair of weekend games. Gettinger, with his hoody shading his eyes, set the tone for the weekend as the team seeks redemption for a lost weekend in December with two tough losses. “We're going down determined on Friday, we know what happened last time down there. We have some unfinished business." LINES: Fogarty-Kravtsov-Lettieri O’Regan-Newell-Beleskey Jones-Gropp-Gettinger McBride-Dmowski-Zerter-Gossage Hajek-Raddysh Keane-Geersten Taylor-LoVerde SCRATCHES: Nick Ebert (Lower-body, still day-to-day) Boo Nieves (Flu, day-to-day) Yegor Rykov (Healthy) Ty Ronning (Healthy) Gabriel Fontaine (Shoulder-surgery, Season-ending) NOTES: During an ice cleaning timeout, Jared Doyon of Meriden who handles a lot of game night operation duties, including as a fill-in PA announcer, slipped and fell on the ice. He suffered a concussion but seemed to be OK giving the thumbs-up sign to the crowd while being wheeled off on a stretcher. 1,807 was the announced attendance, though it appeared to be quite smaller based upon observation. It was the 24th worst-attended crowd in Wolf Pack history. 28 of the 39 times the crowd has been under 2,000 for Wolf Pack games have come on Wednesday nights. Next Wolf Pack home next Wednesday against the Wilkes Barre/Scranton Penguins. Lias Andersson was scoreless in his debut with HV71 (Sweden-SHL). Ex-Pack, Akim Aliu, has a goal and an assist for HC Litvinov (Czech Republic-CEL) in four games. Logan Roe (Kent Prep) of the Florida Everblades (ECHL) was named ECHL Player of the Month. He was loaned to the Syracuse Crunch (AHL) and signed a PTO deal. Ex-Pack goalie, Brandon Halverson, was suspended and taken off the roster of the Norfolk Admirals (ECHL). This season he was a weekend emergency recall backup for Providence and had a poor two-game recall to the Tucson Roadrunners (AHL) posting two losses and a 7.90 GAA. The Sound Tigers lose forward, Kieffer Bellows, to recall but get back defenseman, Sebastien Aho. Ex-Sound Tiger goalie, Kevin Poulin, was released from his PTO deal with the Grand Rapids Griffins (AHL). Ulf Samuelsson, a former Whaler great, Rangers player, and assistant coach, as well as a Wolf Pack assistant coach and Avon Old Farms assistant, has taken the head coaching job with Leksands IF (Sweden-SHL). His eldest son, Philip, and ex-Pack, Marek Hrivik, are currently playing there. He coached Philip when he was Charlotte’s head coach. The team is in dead last place in the SHL with an 11-24-3 record. He started his pro career with the team (1981-1984) and was granted permission by Seattle, and long-time friend, and another Whaler great, Seattle GM, Ron Francis. In addition, he is still being paid by the Blackhawks and had to seek permission from them as well. Samuelsson was just named a pro scout for expansion NHL Seattle team just a few months ago. Jordan Samuel-Thomas (Quinnipiac University/Canterbury Prep/Hartford Jr. Wolf Pack/West Hartford) leaves Worcester (ECHL) where he had 29 points in 33 games and was a minus-21 for Heilbronner (Germany DEL-2) for the remainder of the year. Ex-Pack, Kale Kerbashian, goes from HK Nitra (Slovakia-SLEL) to Lausitzer (Germany DEL-2) for the rest of the season. Two ex-Packers switched places. Casey Wellman has left SC Rapperswil-Jona (Switzerland-LNA) and signs with SC Bern (Switzerland-LNA) for the rest of the season. Tom Pyatt has taken his spot with Rapperswil after leaving Skellftea AIK (Sweden-SHL). Ex-Pack, Malte Stromwall, had 19 goals in 44 games, the highest-scoring Swede that was selected to the KHL All-Star Game. He's representing HK Sochi, but due to his illness, he was unable to play in the game. Stromwell is a prime example of how some Europeans are unable to make the adjustment to the North American game/rinks, but that still thrives playing in Europe. In ex-Pack news here is an article on Marek Mazanec. Read it HERE. Wonder what former goalie Mackenzie Skapski is doing showing off his hockey den. Read about it HERE. Wolf Pack fan jersey of the night: #3 that was worn by both Terry Virtue and later, Pat Aufiero, who wore it for 35 games after Virtue left to return to Worcester. #25 Mathieu Dandenault who played his last 19 pro games in Hartford. The all-time classic #20 P.J. Stock. Of the four, only two are still involved in hockey. Stock is an assistant coach for Lac-St. Louis Warriors, a local girls program in Quebec. Virtue is the head coach for Shrewsbury High Colonials, a Massachusetts Division I MIAA public school program. One of his two assistants is former UCONN Husky (last two Division III teams and first two AHA teams), Marc Busenburg. He played for Springfield and Worcester in the AHL in his pro career. Read the full article

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weekendwarriorblog · 6 years

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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND 8/17/18 – Crazy Rich Asians, Mile 22, Alpha and More

I’m going to do things a little different this week, because one of my absolutely favorites from Sundance is coming out this weekend, and after seeing it again last week, it’s probably going to end up in my Top 5 for the year, and that is…

JULIET, NAKED (Lionsgate/Roadside Attractions)

I’ve been a fan of Nick Hornby’s writing for a very long time, but when I received a copy of his new book in 2009, I was immediately caught up in its story of a has-been musician, his diehard fan and his ignored wife. I was really excited to hear that it would be adapted by director Jesse Peretz, who had been making big waves (and got an Emmy nod) for directing shows like Girls, New Girl and GLOW. The general story revolves around Rose Byrne’s Annie, a woman living in a British seaside town married to Chris O’Dowd’s Duncan, an avid fan of an American singer-songwriter named Tucker Crowe. Duncan runs a website dedicated to his idol, but when he receives a previously unheard demo recording called “Juliet, Naked,” he gets into a squabble with Annie, because she is quite vocal about how much she hates it (mainly to get Duncan’s goat). When Duncan sleeps with a co-worker, Annie kicks him out, but then the real Tucker Crowe (played by Ethan Hawke) gets in touch with Annie (over her negative review of the rare demos), they begin a transatlantic correspondence that leads to them meeting and more. It’s another great story from Hornby in the vein of About a Boy and High Fidelity, one that creates an amazing portrait of this woman who feels she’s in a rut and how she connects with the famous musician who walked out of a concert 20 years earlier and has been raising a young son in upstate New York.

This is a fantastic romantic comedy from Peretz that’s produced by Judd Apatow and others with all-star writing team including Peretz’s sister Eugenia, Jim Taylor (Sideways) and his wife Tamara Jenkins (The Savages), who all did an amazing job adapting Hornby’s work.

Here’s my interview with Jesse Peretz over at NextBestPicture... Enjoy!

INTERVIEW WITH JESSE PERETZ

Juliet, Naked will open in New York and Los Angeles on Friday, expand to more cities next week and then hopefully be fairly wide on August 31.

But that isn’t the only Ethan Hawke movie this week, nope. The actor is having quite a good year indeed...

On top of that, Hawke’s latest film as a director, Blaze (Sundance Selects), will be released in Austin on Friday, as it slowly rolls out to arrive in New York City on September 6 and then in L.A. later in September.

Blaze tells the story of Blaze Foley, played by musician Ben Dickey, who was the lesser-known blues singer who collaborated with his friend Townes Van Zandt. Not knowing much about the Austin native, this is a fascinating film by Hawke that shows a lot of his dysfunctional relationship with his Jewish writer wife (and the film’s co-writer) Sybil Rosen, played by Alia Shakat (who is simply fantastic in the role). Musician Charlie Sexton pulls off a respectable version of Van Zandt, and look for cameos by the likes of Sam Rockwell, Steve Zahn, Kris Kristofferson and Hawke’s long-time collaborator, Richard Linklater.

This is another great music-based film from Hawke, and a much better narrative feature than his earlier features, 2006’s The Hottest State and 2001’s Chelsea Walls. There’s also a connection between Foley and Hawke’s Juliet, Naked character, because the fictional Tucker Crowe similarly became the subject of urban legends after vanishing from the public eye following a concert. (Foley was actually killed in a scuffle after recording a live album at one of his club performances, which acts as the framing device for the film.)

And now, back to our previously scheduled wide releases, and how ironic that the proverbial “Dog Days of Summer” would begin last weekend with an actual movie called Dog Days, and it bombed? And a giant shark movie starring Jason Statham opened with almost $45 million… crazy times! Yeah, these last few weekends of August have never been known as a good time to release movies, and most movies that end up here are ones that studios just want to get off their coffers before their even slower fall months. That would normally be the case, but that is definitely not the case with…

CRAZY RICH ASIANS (New Line)

The first August anomaly is this romantic-comedy based on Kevin Kwan’s best-selling book, which is the first major studio movie since The Joy Luck Club25 years ago to feature a predominantly Asian cast. This one is about an Asian college professor who takes his Asian girlfriend to Singapore for his best friend’s wedding where she discovers that his family is super-rich and he’s a very in-demand bachelor.

The movie features an amazing cast that includes Constance Wu from the hit ABC sitcom Fresh off the Boat, veteran Chinese actress Michelle Yeoh, comic superstar Ken Jeong (Dr. Ken) as well as fresher talent like rapper Awkwafina, last seen in Ocean’s 8, Gemma Chan and newcomer Henry Golding as the male lead. The movie is directed by Jon M. Chu, who has directed an odd number of movies from G.I. Joe: Retaliationto Step Up 3 and the Jem and the Holograms movie, the latter a huge bomb despite being made for not so much money.

Crazy Rich Asians is a romantic comedy, and obviously, there’s a limited audience for the genre normally, but possibly even more when you have Asians in every role, because you’re never sure whether women of other ethnicities will be as interested in this as they might be with Valentine’s Day or other rom-com hits like The Proposal or Pretty Woman. Of course, we can also look at the long-standing legs of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which drew in a large Greek audience at first, but word-of-mouth helped lead it to $241 million domestic, the highest gross for a rom-com ever.

There haven’t been that many successful rom-coms in recent years unless you include Mamma Mia: Here We go Again or Greg Berlanti’s Love Simon, the latter which grossed $40.8 million opening in March with $11.7 million. Crazy Rich Asians is likely to sway more towards the former, I’d imagine.

What’s interesting and maybe not unexpected is that the Asian-American community has been rallying around the movie, whether or not they’ve read the book or even like romantic comedy films, with many entire theaters/screenings being bought up in advance. It’s likely the community realizes that Crazy Rich Asians will need to succeed if they’re going to see more Asians and Asian-Americans in significant leading roles. Even so, you have to remember that Asians only make up 6% of the U.S. population and maybe a little more in Canada, so how much impact can a movie have even if every single Asian person in the country goes to see it? I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Crazy Rich Asians is opening on Wednesday, which kind of throws a wrench in trying to project how the movie might do, because a.) people who desperately want to see the movie might rush out to see it on Weds if b.) some might not even realize it opens on Wednesday and will wait for Thursday or Friday. (There weren’t any Tuesday previews to give us any sort of hint of what’s to come.) One presumes the point of the earlier opening is to help drive word-of-mouth for the weekend, although New Line also gave the movie sneak previews last Wednesday, which might do the trick. Reviews are excellent with it currently holding a respectable 96% on Rotten Tomatoes but there are many more reviews to come.

Expect the movie to do big business on Wednesday and Thursday, possibly $9 to 10 million, and then another $20 million plus over the weekend, although it shouldn’t be surprising if it does more than $30 million in its first five days. After all, we’re definitely entering new territory here. Even so, word-of-mouth should help it over the rest of the summer and into September, so don’t be surprised if it ends up making close to $100 million or more, especially if it’s as good as I’ve heard.

MILE 22 (STXfilms)

A movie hoping to bring in the business that will have little to no interest in Crazy Rich Asiansis this new action-thriller from actor Mark Wahlberg and director Peter Berg, who now have made three movies based on real events: Lone Survivor (’13, $125 mil. Gross), Deepwater Horizon (’16, $61.4 mil.) and Patriots Day (’16, $31.9 mil.). That’s a fairly dramatic drop from their first movie to their last one, and Mile 22 is an original story not based on real events about a CIA task force who have to protect an asset from terrorists over the course of 22 miles. (And yes, that does sound a lot like the Bruce Willis-Mos Def movie 16 Blocksfrom 2006, thanks for noticing.)

Besides Wahlberg, it stars Lauren Cohan from The Walking Dead, John Malkovich (who also was in Deepwater Horizon), MMA champ and WWE contender Ronda Rousy, Indonesian martial arts star Iko Uwais (The Raid) and Berg himself. It’s a great cast but we’ve seen similar movies like this one with great casts that don’t do so well from Hotel Artemis earlier this summer to John Hillcoat’s Triple 9 in 2016, although both of them looked like they could be good.

Obviously, Wahlberg is going to be this film’s biggest draw, but his filmography has also run the gamut of hits and bombs. Last year, Wahlberg appeared in Michael Bay’s Transformers: The Last Knight, the comedy sequel Daddy’s Home 2 and the beleaguered Ridley Scott drama All the Money in the World, continuing his run of two to three movies a year with varying degrees of quality and success.

Like so many other movies in theaters and quite a few from STX, Mile 22 is a Chinese co-production, which doesn’t mean a heck of a lot for the film’s domestic success. Last year’s The Foreigner starring Pierce Brosnan and Jackie Chan is a good example as that topped out at $34.3 million domestic after a $13.1 million opening, although that movie did three times its domestic take overseas.

This might be why STX decided to dump the movie into late August, because maybe it isn’t as strong as some of the Berg-Wahlberg’s previous offerings, but is more of a throwaway action-thriller instead. The studio also isn’t screening for critics until Wednesday night, the day before it opens for Thursday previews, so I wouldn’t expect it to be one of “Da Bergs’” better-reviewed films.

On top of that, there’s also just too much competition for older males in theaters, so this might have a hard time doing more than $15 million this weekend, a third place showing, as it struggles to make $35 million by summer’s end.

(Note: I may run a mini-review and make a few changes above after I see the movie tonight.)

ALPHA (Sony)

The odd dog or wolf of the weekend is this big screen adventure epic set during the Ice Age starring Kodi Smit-McPhee (X-Men: Apocalypse), which looks a lot like Roland Emmerich’s 10,000 BC. Hopefully, it isn’t nearly as bad. (See my review below. It isn’t.)

Alphais the new movie from Albert Hughes, one half of the Hughes Brothers, who broke out with urban crime films like Menace II Society and Dead Presidents before making From Hell with Johnny Depp and The Book of Eli with Denzel Washington. After the latter, the two went their separate ways and after a couple failed projects, Albert decided to make this very different movie as his solo dramatic feature as a director. It’s a strange choice for sure, but Sony have doubled down by giving the movie an IMAX release to push its big-screen nature.

There should be enough awareness of this movie being that it was supposed to come out last November and then earlier this year – I was seeing trailers for this in front of Thor: Ragnarok in early November and over the Christmas holidays as well – but Sony clearly doesn’t have much faith in the movie as they moved it to the dumping ground of late August. The studio has also completely changed the marketing as the movie’s release neared, pushing it more for the wolves that might get women and kids excited to see it. Personally, I don’t see the switch in marketing gears helping much, as I was already tuning out about the movie after seeing the trailers too much last year. (Reviews, surprisingly, are STELLAR so far, but there are only eight on Rotten Tomatoes, so that might change?)

Although people might know about the movie, it really doesn’t look that appealing from the marketing, and it won’t help that schools have already started in many places cutting potential business for Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Frankly, it will be a shocker to me if Alpha makes more than $7 million this weekend even with the higher incent and price for IMAX tickets.

Mini-Review: When I was younger, I used to love watching pre-historic epics like 1 Million Years B.C. on television. Hopefully, some young boys and girls will be as inspired by watching Albert Hughes’ solo narrative debut as a director, but Alpha is definitely not the type of movie that should be watched on a television set.

It gets off to a rough start with young Keda (Kodi Smit-Mcphee) not living up to his chieftain father’s hopes as a warrior. When the tribe takes on a herd of buffalo, Keda gets knocked off a cliff and he’s left behind for dead by the tribe. Trying to survive, Keda faces off against a pack of wolves and one of the wolf pack is injured in the melée. The caring young man brings the injured wolf along on his journey of survival as the two of them work together to catch prey and survive.

This is where Alpha picks up greatly, becoming tale of a boy and his “dog” survival tale that’s charming and heart-warming and not nearly as corny or obvious as the earlier storytelling might lead you to believe. (It doesn’t take long to get over the awkward decision to begin with the buffalo hunt, then cut back a week as Keda is about to go over the cliff, and then show the buffalo hunt again, throwing Keda over the cliff for real the second time.)

If nothing else, one needs to commend the impressive job by Hughes and team -- from the animal trainers to the visual FX department, sound and music – for bringing this tale to life in a way that keeps you glued to the screen and benefits greatly from the IMAX 3D projection. It might be good to note that all of the film’s dialogue is in some ancient prehistoric dialect, so if your kids are too young to read subtitles, then they may get frustrated by not understanding what is being said.

Though there are problems in the first third, the fact is that if Terrence Malick or Alejandro Innaritu made this exact same movie, it would be thought of as a revelation. The late August release and lesser status of Hughes as a filmmaker will mean this film will mostly be overlooked, which is a true shame.

Rating: 7.5/10

Either way, this weekend could be a close call for #1 between Crazy Rich Asians and the second weekend of The Meg as both are vying for somewhere in the high-teens to low-$20 millions. Even so, I think the marketing/hype behind the New Line romantic-comedy will be enough to push it over the top to win the weekend.

This week’s top 10 should look something like this…

1. Crazy Rich Asians (New Line) - $21.5 million N/A 2. The Meg (Warner Bros.) - $19.5 million -56% 3. Mile 22 (STXfilms) - $15.3 million N/A 4. Mission: Impossible – Fallout (Paramount) - $12 million -40% 5. Christopher Robin (Disney) - $7.7 million -38% 6. Alpha (Sony) - $7.5 million N/A 7. BlacKkKlansman (Focus Features) - $7 million -35% 8. The Spy Who Dumped Me (Lionsgate) - $3.9 million -48% 9. Slender Man (Screen Gems) - $3.7 million -67% 10. Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again (Universal) - $3.5 million -40%

LIMITED RELEASES

While I gave some extra attention to Juliet, Naked above, there are a bunch of other limited releases worth checking out this weekend, especially as the wider releases become less interesting to the masses.

First up is The Wife (Sony Pictures Classics), an amazing drama starring Glenn Close as Joan Castleman, wife of the elderly reknowned author Joseph Castleman (Jonathan Pryce), as the couple travel to Stockholm for him to receive the Nobel Prize in Literature along with their son David (Max Irons). Joe can be a handful and Joan finds herself caught in the middle of a domestic feud between her husband and David, while a pesky biographer played by Christian Slater tries to get info from both Joan and David about Joe, a known philanderer. Directed by Swedish filmmaker Björn Runge, best known for his film Happy End, this is a terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside. The Wife will open in New York and L.A., and there will be QnAs in both cities on Friday and Saturday. Glenn Close and screenwriter Meg Wolitzer will be doing QnAs at the Paris Theater in NYC on Friday night after the 7:30 screening, while Wolitzer will also do a QnA on Saturday night. In LA, actress Annie Starke (who plays the younger version of Close’s character) will be doing QnAs on Friday and Saturday nights at the Arclight Hollywood and the Landmark.

A terrific doc worth checking out is Megumi Sasaki’s A Whale of a Tale (Fine Line Media), which opens at the Quad Cinema in New York and then in L.A. on August 24. If you liked the Oscar-winning doc The Cove, this is sort of a follow-up as the filmmaker travels to the town of Taiji in Japan where the dolphin killings continue. AP journalist Jay Alabaster has embedded himself in Taiji since The Cove came out and along with Sasaki, they document the town’s attempts at making necessary changes without giving up their legacy of “whale-hunting” that’s hundreds of years old. This is the type of movie that might make you question your own ecological leanings even as it gives a fairly well-balanced overview of the situation, particularly between the townspeople of Taiji and the world at large.

Another worthwhile doc is Bing Liu’s Minding the Gap (Hulu/Magnolia), a very personal look at the life of the filmmaker over 12 years living in Rockford, Illinois, focusing on two of his skateboarder friends’ whose upbringings affect their lives, including 23-year-old Zack whose relationship deteriorates after the birth of his son, and 17-year-old Keire trying to deal with the death of his father. The film won a jury prize at Sundance for Breakthrough Filmmaking with Steve James acting as exec. producer. It will get a theatrical release at the Metrograph on Friday as well as being available on Hulu before screening on PBS POV in 2019. (I want to add that this is a fantastic film well worth seeking out... Liu is an amazing new and young filmmaker to watch.)

After premiering at the Tribeca Film Festival, the self-explanatory doc Ed Sheeran: Songwriter (Apple Music/Abramorama) will open in select cities. I never got around to watching it, but I’m not really a fan of Sheeran other than him helping to bring the Electric Light Orchestra back together for the Grammys. It opens at the IFC Center on Friday, in L.A. on Aug. 24 and then will be available on Apple Music starting Aug. 28.

A venerable horror franchise returns with its 13th(!) installment Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (RLJE Films), co-directed by Sonny Laguna and Tommy Wiklund from a script by S. Craig Zahler (Brawl in Cell Block 99). It stars Thomas Lennon from the State as Edgar, as a recently-divorced man who returns to his childhood home where he finds an evil-looking Nazi puppet in his brother’s room. For this one, the unmistakable Udo Kier plays the evil puppet master André Toulon, and it also stars Charlyne Yi, Barbara Crampton, Jenny Pellicer and Nelson Franklin. I hope to watch it soon, but I’ve heard some atrocious things about the overt racism in the movie.

As far as other and hopefully tamer genre films, if you’re in New York City, you can see The Ranger, the directorial debut by Larry Fessenden’s producing partner Jenn Wexler, when it plays at the IFC Center, following its Closing Night premiere at What the Fest?! and Fantasia in Montreal. It will also screen in L.A. on Sept. 7. It stars Chloë Levine as Chelsea, a girl who hangs out with her punk friends who get in trouble when her boyfriend stashes drugs in her bag, so they head to a cabin in the wilderness where they encounter a ranger. It premieres on Thursday night with many QnAs with Wexler, producer Heather Buckley and the cast over the weekend.

A movie that premiered at Sundance that I wasn’t that into was Jeremy Zagar’s adaptation of Justin Torres’ novel We the Animals (The Orchard), about three young boys going through their adolescence under the gaze of parents (Raul Castillo, Sheila Vand) who have their own tumultuous relationship, and are trying to protect the youngest Jonah from heading the same direction as his older siblings. It opens in New York Friday at the Angelika and Landmark 57 West, then will expand to L.A., San Francisco, Boston and Philadelphia next Friday. Although I wasn’t a huge fan of the movie, it is a nice fictional counterpart to Minding the Gap.

Ricky D’Ambrose’s Notes on an Appearance (Grasshopper Films) deals with the disappearance of a young man named David and the two people who go looking for him but become diverted by the strangers they meet on the journey. It opens at New York’s Film Society of Lincoln Center on Friday.

Opening in New York and L.A. on Friday and on Demand Sept. 4is Josh Crockett’s dark comedy Dr. Brinks & Dr. Brinks (Gravitas Ventures) about estranged brother and sister who reunite after the death of their parents.

Based on Lois Duncan’s Y.A. novel of the same name, Down a Dark Hall (Summit/Lionsgate Premiere) stars AnnaSophia Robb as Kit, a difficult girl set to a boarding school to deal with her temper via the headmistress Madame Duret (Uma Thurman) and the other four young women. Also starring Isabelle Fuhrman from Orphan, it opens in select cities, On Demand and on iTunes Friday.

Emmanuel Finkiel’s Memoir of War (Music Box films), opening in New York this Friday at the Film Forum and Film Society of New York and in L.A. at the Laemmle Royal and Regal Edwards Westpark 8 next Friday, adapts Marguerite Duras’ novel The War: A Memoir, and it stars the ever-present Mélanie Thierry as Duras. In 1944, Duras was a Resistance member along with her writer husband Robert Antelme. When he is sent to the Dachau concentration camp, she becomes friendly with a French collaborator (Benoît Magimel)to get information to help her group. (Interesting fact: Duras was the Oscar-nominated screenwriter of Alain Resnais’ Hiroshima, Mon Amour.)

A few more odds and ends…

Shirley McLane and Gina Gershon star in a modernized live action adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid co-directed by Blake Harris and Chris Bouchard. Not sure what more can be said about that.

Opening in New York at the Cinema VillageFriday before its digital release on Sept 4 is the doc Davi’s Way (2B Films) about Italian-American Robert Davi, a Frank Sinatra enthusiast and stylist who prepares to recreate Sinatra’s famous 1974 concert at Madison Square Garden.

Actor Peter Facinelli makes his directorial debut with the dark comedy Breaking & Exiting (Kali Pictures / Freestyle Digital Media), starring Milo Gibson as house thief Harry who stumbles upon (film co-writer) Jordan Hinson’s Daisy and tries to save her from herself.

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Not a ton of repertory things on my radar other than a Winona Ryder retrospective at the Quad Cinema called “Utterly Winona,” including all her great movies from the ‘80s and ‘90s. I guess there’s a Truffaut retrospective at the Metrograph, but you know what I always say: Truffaut... Tru-cares? (I don’t always say that so don’t write me angry letters Truffaut-fans. I don’t mean to cause a Trufuffle for anyone.)

Last but not least, streaming giant Netflix offers the Spanish film The Motive from Manuel Martin Cuenca based on the novel by Javier Cercas, about an aspiring writer who seeks inspiration for his novel by manipulating lives.

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