#opal I LEARNED HER LAST NAME NOW YOU FUCKERS

[jeeyonshim]

finished another composition sketch for more starling house fanart because i finished chapter 17 and now that's where i live i guess

#starling house spoilers #jeeyon shim art #starling house #arthur starling #opal I LEARNED HER LAST NAME NOW YOU FUCKERS #i finished chapter 17 and i'm normal about it #no i'm not #this book has been continuously waiting for me in a dark alley with a baseball bat labeled EMOTIONS #don't send a medic i don't want help

[diddlesanddoodles]

DUMPLING ch 38

“Now, my dear,” Maevis said, as he laid out several large candlesticks as tall as a human. “Your first lesson will be a simple one: I want you to keep these candles lit.”

The morning was brisk and as the sun began to peak over the castle’s rooftops, the frost on the ground was beginning to thaw, but it still crunched under her shoes. Maevis had brought her to the kitchen camp rather than the library as he felt it would be better for her to learn how to better control her flames away from a room full of material that was known to be very flammable. He set up a small area in the corner to be out of the way of Farris and the others.

Breakfast was done and over and they were now onto prepping for luncheon, which was always marked with a sudden increase in activity. Farris was in top form, barking out orders and demanding updates on how one task or another was progressing. Kol, though bruised and battered, was at his station as though nothing were amiss, but Quinn seemed more agitated and wasn’t his cheerful self. At one point Kol yelled at his fellow baker, “Fer fuck sake’s Quinn, it’s just a bruise! I ain’t gonna drop dead ‘er nothin’.”

All of this served as a backdrop to her first magic lesson.

In front of her, Maevis had dug shallow holes into the cold ground, into which he inserted a candle. Much in the same way he had with the dagger the day before, he pinched the wicks between his fingers and said something under his breath. The cotton strings glowed a dim blue and he repeated this with each one until all five were done.

“I’ve placed a charm on each candle,” he explained. “With each becoming incrementally stronger. So, if you would try to light this one here, Nenani, we shall begin.”

Nenani adjusted her scarf, throwing the excess length over her shoulder and walked up to the first candle. She held her hands out, focusing on the tip of the wick, and pulled her magic out from the fire opal amulet. It pulled out easily enough and flames twirled around her fingers and then around the wick. The cotton wick took her magic held a happy little ball of mage fire...

...which promptly extinguished itself.

Nenani made an annoyed sound of surprise and above her, Maevis chuckled. “This time, try giving it a little more oomph. All right? Now, once again.”

And so the drill went on for the next half hour. Every time the wick was lit, it only stayed lit for a few seconds before burning out. Maevis explained that the greatest property of mage fire was its use in dispelling of charms and spells and the deflecting of magic. Over time, her mage fire would eat away at his charm and once it was gone, the wick would stay lit. Her goal was to use her mage fire to burn away his spell and light the candles one by one. It took an hour for her to light the first two candles and as she stepped up to begin working on the third, she was beginning to feel the exhaustion.

“This exercise will also help with your stamina,” Maevis said. “That and control are the two most important things for anyone learning the arcane arts needs to master. And for you especially.”

“This...this is a lot harder than I thought it would be,” Nenani admitted, looking at the third candle with a vague reluctance. “Without the amulet it’s so much easier.”

He gave her a pitying smile.

“It only seems easier because the pathways are open wide and unobstructed,” Maevis explained. “Which is where the danger lies. Think of that amulet as a dam controlling the flow of a river. Though it hold much of your power back, it is absolutely vital in controlling the flow. Until you have mastered it yourself.”

After another failed attempt, she made an unhappy noise of frustration and kicked at the grass.

“Do not worry,” he said to her. “You’re doing beautifully, Nenani. Come now, once more.”

Nenani privately named the third candle ‘Bastard’ since the word flashed repeatedly in her head every time she attempted and failed to keep the wick lit. Somewhere around the twentieth attempt, she became frustrated with the whole exercise and held her concentration longer than before and began to ‘push’ more of her magic out. Her arms shook, but as she approached the threshold where she normally would have stopped to take a breather or to start again, she pressed on. Maevis was saying something, but she couldn’t spare any of her focus to listen. The candle began to tremble and she thought that perhaps she was breaking the charm down and gave it one last heaving push and…

“Nenani, careful now. You might...”

There was a very loud pop and the space where Bastard the candle use to be was empty, save for a few spare drops of wax and then far behind them there was a surprised shout and a curse.

“Seven fucking hells!”

“What the...ye alright, Quinn?”

“What the fuck was...i-is that a candle?”

Kol started laughing loudly. Nenani and Maevis shared a worried look and turned to peer back towards the cook camp.

“OI!” Quinn yelled in their direction, holding something in one hand as the other rubbed his head. Presumably where Bastard the candle had struck him. “IS THIS YER’S?”

“Well. Not the goal of today’s lesson,” Maevis said thoughtfully. “But an impressive distance, I must say.”

“Sorry, Quinn!” she called back to the baker through cupped hands. “It was an accident!”

“I hope ye ain’t needin’ it back, lass,” Quinn told her. “’Cause this fucker goin’ into the fire!”

She looked at Maevis. “Will regular fire burn it with your charm still on it?”

Maevis suppressed a small grin. “Nope.”

“Okay,” she called back to Quinn, grinning. “You can have it!”

Quinn turned and tossed the candle into the fire with a curse and went went about his work. Nenani and Maevis waited a few moments and then Kol began to laugh again.

“What?” Quinn demanded.

“It ain’t meltin’,” Kol said. “Look there!”

“Huh?” Quinn paused to bent down and peer into the fire.

“The candle,” Kol laughed. “It ain’t meltin’. It’s just sittin’ there.”

Quinn’s blond head whirled to glare in their direction. “This thing ain’t gonna explode or nothin’ is it, Maevis?”

Once the bakers were assured that Bastard the candle was not going to explode, Maevis had her move onto the fourth one. She immediately decided to name it Fucker. And it indeed lived up to its name as she tried again and again to keep the wick lit and time and time again, the spell breathed the flame out.

She growled and mumbled something uncharitable under her breath. Flopping down onto the ground to rest, she glared at the candle and repeated its name in her head over and over. Lolly might faint from shock at her saying any curse words, but she was free to think whatever she wanted in her head and Nenani took full advantage, recalling every curse and swear she had ever heard anyone in the kitchens so much as mutter.

“Now, it may help to visualize what it is you are doing,” Maevis suggested. “Picture it in your mind, the charm being burned away.”

“...okay,” she said, easing back to her feet and taking a restorative breathe and released it as a sigh. As she tried to do as he had suggested, she held in her mind the image of the candle burning clearly and cleanly, the flame never going out. Raising her hands, she pulled out her fire and set the wick to burning and pushed more magic at it to keep it lit. Inside her head, she imagined the charm wearing away and the flame staying lit. But as the image stayed fixed in her head, the imaginary flame grew bigger and smoke began to spill out of it as the candle below began to melt. The smoke swirled and take shape. A hand, a foot, a torso, and then finally the stag skull mask. In her mind, the candle was no longer there and instead, there stood Aidus. Red eyed and looming over her.

Hate pulsed inside her chest and still holding the image of Aidus in her mind, she pushed her magic at the charmed wick one more time. There was a crack and shards of blue fell away from the candle as the charm shattered and dissipated.

“Bravo, my girl!” Maevis cheered. “Very well done!”

She looked at the happily burning candle, slightly winded, and grinned. “I...I did it.”

“Yes, you did,” Maevis said proudly. He put a hand to her back and leaned down close to her, one hand pointing to the last candle. “Now, let us see how you do with this last one, my dear.”

With a little more confidence than before, she walked up to the last candle and gave it a name. The wick became a stag skull in her mind and she held out her hand, palm to the sky. A ball of mage fire flickered to life, round and swaying gently, but when she visualize the smoke mage in her mind, the flame began to jerk and hiss. She pushed the angry fire at the candle and there was a pop and the spell fell apart like broken glass. The wick was lit and after a moment, settled once more into a round ball of happy fire. The wax began to melt and dribble lazily down the sides of the candle.

Maevis was silent for a moment and looked down at Nenani, appearing a little disconcerted. He began to say something, but whatever he was about to say was lost as he gave a startled cry of surprise as Nenani abruptly crumbled onto the ground. “Oh! Nenani, are you alright?”

Gloved hands pulled her off the frozen ground and brought her close to his face.

“I’m fine,” she said, breathing hard. “I just...felt a little...light headed...all of a sudden...”

Maevis sighed in relief. “Ah. Yes, well. If you ever feel like you need a rest at any point during these lessons, please do not hesitate to tell me. We are in no hurry and it wouldn’t do at all to overtax you when you’re still learning.” He studied her for a moment. “I think that shall do for you first lesson. Tomorrow perhaps we’ll...”

His words died on his lips as his face fell, eyes narrowing as they darted to the side. The fingers around her curled in protectively. She gripped his thumb and called out to him, disquieted by the sudden change. “Maevis?”

Instead of answering her, however, the magician carefully eased himself back to his feet and turned towards the cook camp with purposeful strides. Shifting his hold on Nenani so that he had a better hold of her, Maevis made a beeline for the tent just as Farris exited. He was reading a piece of parchment and looked up as Maevis approached. He raised an eyebrow at the magician inquisitively.

“Everythin’ goin’ fine out there Maevis?” he asked mildly.

“Farris,” Maevis said, voice low and rigid. “Could I trouble you for a jar? One with a stopper. A metal one if you have it.”

The kitchen master eyed Maevis for a moment in confusion at the odd tone, but he nodded. Sensing well enough that something was amiss. “Aye. I’ll go fetch one.”

“I would appreciate it,” Maevis said with a nod. “Very much.”

Nenani opened her mouth to ask Maevis what was going on, but one of his hands rose up and covered her as though trying to hide her from sight. “Shhh...”

“Will this do?” Farris asked, stepping from the tent and offering a wide mouth jar.

“Yes,” Maevis replied and Nenani felt him pull her away from him. “If you would take her, please.”

Nenani was traded between the giant’s hands and now sitting on Farris’s hold, she got a proper look at Maevis. His expression was a hard and almost angry as he popped the lid off the jar and slowly turned his head back towards where they had been having their magic lesson. Seeming to sense something was off, Farris stepped back several paces and waved at Saen and Avery to do the same.

Maevis abruptly whirled around, free hand flying up into the air and a ball of blue light formed in his palm. He began to chant something unintelligible and quick as the blue orb split apart into many smaller beads of light that swirled around in the air a few dozen feet away. They began to form a sort of ring, but then at the center of the frenzy there was a flash of gold light and Nenani could heard wind-chimes and a small voice cry out in panic.

The ring of blue lights pulled the gold orb towards Maevis as his chanting became more fervent and the whole mass of light, gold and blue alike, were pulled into the jar. The stopper was pushed in forcefully and Maevis cried out in triumph.

“Ah ha! Got you!”

Maevis held the jar up to his face, but to Nenani’s eyes, it appeared to be empty.

“What the seven hells was that all about?” Saen asked.

“Is it that fuckin’ Mage again?” Farris growled.

“No,” Maevis replied, squinting at the empty jar. “No, I don’t believe so. I had thought I sensed something earlier, but...well. Frankly, I haven’t a clue as to what it is, but whatever the origins, it’s contained now. I will take it back to my study and secure it on the off chance it is related to the Mage.” The magician turned to Farris. “Nenani’s done with her lesson for today. Would you have any objections with my leaving her with you, Farris?”

“Not ‘a one,” Farris replied, suddenly smirking down at her and jostling her lightly. “Besides, got somethin’ new fer ‘er to learn.”

Maevis nodded and took his leave and the jar with him. After making a quick trip around the camp to make sure everything was moving along to his liking, Farris took Nenani into the tent and set her in her usual spot atop the table. He dug through a small chest and pulled out a small pot with a wax seal, long broken, and was now being held closed with a piece of twine.

“Take a sniff ‘a that and tell me ye smell,” he said, pulling the broke wax seal off. Obediently, Nenani bent down over the pot and sniffed.

“Peppermint,” she said, rubbing her nose and tuning away to sneeze.

“This is a burn salve,” Farris explained. “Also works fer rashes and sores. Anything that makes ye skin turn red.”

She glared up at Farris.

“Are you teaching me this because you think I’ll end up burning someone?” she asked, not entirely able to mask the hurt in her voice. The giant eyed her as he leaned forward, resting his arm on the table, the other at his hip.

“Yer a walkin’ ball a’ fire now, lass,” he told her flatly. “And still learnin’ to control it. Won’t be a question of if but when ye burn something or someone ye didn’t mean’ta.”

She did not like that answer and looking at the little pot, her frowned deepened. A large finger swept in and caught her chin, pulling her attention back to him.

“Ah, don’t be gettin’ all pissy on me now, lil’un,” Farris said with a slight warning to his tone. “Ain’t no one perfect and we all make mistakes. Good intentions or naught. Yer old enough now to be able to understand that.”

“I guess,” she replied, dejectedly. “I just...”

“Ye could be tryin’ yer best and still mess up. Might be as bad burnin’ someone or as small as smackin’ Quinn over the head with a candle.”

Despite herself, she giggled.

“Hm,” he said hummed thoughtfully, releasing her chin and regarding her silently for a moment. “Still sore over what Lord Fancy Britches said about ye, are ye?”

After a moment, she nodded. “Yes.”

“Just remember what Yale told ye, lass. Ain’t one of us down here that’d let that happen. Understand me? That marker don’t have Lord anyone’s seal on it. It’s got the King’s and mine. Even if yer a Princess, that lil’ thing still matters. Yer still my ward.”

She nodded, reaching up and running a finger over the cold metal.

“Good. Now do me a favor and don’t worry about what some pox faced, velted arse Lord of who-gives-a-damn has to say about ye.”

Nenani could not help but break out into a smile and she laughed.

“So, ye wanna be learnin’ all this still then?”

“Yes,” she replied, eyes bright and Farris grinned.

“Alright then.”

………………………………………………….

The burn salve was a two part process involving several various oil infusions that were then mixed in a specific amount and added to melted beewax with a small amount of rose water and left to cool in easy to use pots. All the flowers were dried, having been collected during spring and stored into large sacks. Yellow rose petals, chamomile blossoms, lavender buds, calendula petals, hypercium flowers, and of course peppermint.

“Yaesha normally makes these, but they get used up so fast during the summer, I started makin’ my own fer the boys. Helps with sunburns,” Farris explained, opening each of the bags of dried flowers and letting Nenani inspect each one. “Gjerk turns into a fuckin’ boiled fish whenever he stays in the sun fer more than a few moments. And Kol and Quinn go through a pot each a month dependin’ on how careless they are.”

He portioned out several jars with oil and instructed her how to measure out the appropriate amount of each flower to put into each jar for the amount of oil. As she poured the last bucketful of rose petals into the jar Nenani regarded Farris curiously. “Is this the same stuff you put on my eyes when I was sick?”

“Aye,” he replied with a grin. “It is. Might’ve been what saved ye from going blind. That’er yer magic. Suppose being a fire mage might make ye a bit more well prepared to fight off the red reap.”

“You think so?”

“Bah, who knows,” he replied. “I don’t know shit about magic. That’s Maevis’s area ‘a expertise.”

Yale popped his head into the tent, frowning and looking annoyed. “Uh...Farris?”

“What is it?” Farris asked as he closed the lid on the last of the infusions.

Yale opened his mouth and seemed to have trouble finding the appropriate words. “So...there’s a...um...some folks out here. Wantin’ to speak with the Dumplin’.”

“What? Who?” Farris asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Humans,” Yale replied. “They’re from the Hill Tribe and...I think one of ‘em might be one a’ the elders.”

“What?” Farris asked. Nenani could see a single vein on his temple throb. “Why’re they back here and what th’ fuck do they want with the lass?”

“...they wouldn’t tell me. The scruffy one’s a right arse.”

Farris jerked his head, scowling. “Stay with her, Yale. I’ll deal with it.”

“Aye,” Yale said, pushing into the tent as Farris marched out. Leaning back against the table with his arms crossed, Yale looked down at Nenani. “Ye got mighty popular all of a sudden, Dumplin’.”

She tugged on her sleeves nervously. “Why would someone from the Hill tribes want to see me?”

“Probably heard ye were a Princess,” Yale said with a shrug. She groaned, letting her head fall back as she stared at the ceiling and an impish grin spread across Yale’s face. “Sorry, Dumplin’. That’s just the sort ‘a stuff folks do around lord and ladies and the like; throw themselves at ‘em. Hopin’ fer a favor or two. Ye might have t’start holding court soon to hear all their requests, eh?”

Nenani gave Yale a flat look. “They should go throw themselves at someone who could actually do something. Unless they need an enchanted candle lit or some heartburn tonic, I can’t help them.”

He laughed, but the sound of Farris hollering drew their focus to the outside. They both strained their ears as Farris spoke with the newcomers and no one seemed to be in a good mood.

“Just what do all of ye think yer doin’ here? If ye want an audience with the King, yer in the wrong place.”

“We are not here to speak with the King,” came another voice, unfamiliar and not sounding at all intimidated by Farris. “We are here to pay homage to our Princess. We have it on good authority that she is here.”

“Well ye ain’t seein’ ‘er.”

“And just what gives you the right to deny us, giant?”

“The same right that gives me the authority t’throw all yer sorry arses out the gate.”

“If your or any of your fellows so much as touch any of our company we will not hesitate to defend ourselves.”

Farris snorted dismissivly. “Does Warrick know yer here? ‘Cause I’m bettin’ he didn’t authorize ye lil’fuckers to come and waste my time. Now did he?”

“Warrick does not speak for all of us...”

“Clearly.”

“Now, giant. Will you let us speak with Her Grace or...”

“Like I said, boy. Ye ain’t seein’ her.”

“Oh for pete’s sake, you two squabble worse than my granddaughters,” said another voice, feminine and much older.

“Nonna, wait –!”

“Oi! Get away from there woman!”

“Don’t you lay a finger on her!”

“Wave that toothpick at me some more and I’ll bend it th’ fuck in half!”

The flap to the tent pushed open down near the floor and a small old human woman dressed in a gray cloak with white hair pulled back into a bushy ponytail, stepped through, a carved walking stick in her hand. She looked up at Yale with gray blue eyes and she blinked at him curiously. “Oh. Hello, young man. My apologies for bursting in so rudely, but I was hoping for a chance to meet my grandniece if it pleases you.”

Yale gaped at the woman in confusion and he flicked an uncertain gaze back at the tent flap then to Nenani and then back to the old woman. “Uh...ah, well...um.”

Nenani crept over to the edge of the table and peered down. Her eyes met those of the old woman and upon spying her, the woman’s face broke out into a wide smile. Despite her clear age, she had all her teeth and like her hair, they were a bright white. “Oh! Oh my stars, there you are my girl!”

Nenani looked to Yale, confused, who returned the look and shrugged.

“Well?” said the old woman to Yale expectantly. “I’m an old woman, son. And I may look like a witch, but I certainly ain’t flying no where. So be a dear and help me up.”

“Oh...uh, sure,” Yale said, bending down obediently and setting both his hands down on the ground. The old woman shuffled over and sat herself down onto his palms. Very slowly, he raised her up to the table and waited patiently for her to shuffle off again.

“Alright, let’s see this girl child,” said the woman, reaching out with a thin bony hand to cup Nenani’s chin and turn her face this way and that, studying and humming to herself. “Well. You’re a Daelg, that’s for sure. No mistaking that wild brush of hair. Oh, you look so much like him when he was a little scamp.”

“Huh?” Nenani asked when the woman released her face. Her hands were shockingly cold. “Like who?”

“Why, Hayron you silly thing! Your dear father,” said the woman with a wide smile, her eyes sparkling. She tapped Nenani on the nose with a thin finger. “You have his nose.”

“I...do?” she asked, feeling very confused. She rubbed her nose.

“And what is this?” Nonna asked, plucking up the amulet and she grinned knowingly at Nenani. “Well, I suppose given your mother’s heritage, it’s hardly surprising you would have the gift as well.” Nenani pulled the amulet from the woman’s hands and stepped back, feeling unsure about her. The old woman regarded her with a warm smile. “Dearie me. You haven’t a clue who I am do you?”

Nenani shook her head. “No. Sorry.”

“Never mind all that. Can’t be helped. I suppose there’s a great many more things you don’t know as well, but that all can wait. Call me Nonna, dear,” she said, or rather insisted. “I am your great aunt. Your grandfather Haiyer’s sister.”

…………………………….

“How did ye hear she’d be down this way?” Yale asked, looking at Nonna, but periodically glancing to the tent flap. There was a great commotion outside and they could hear the panicked voices of several humans and some of the staff laughing. Nenani could have sworn she heard Saen say, “...wouldn’t mind addin’ a few of ye to the stew...” followed by a raucous round of laughter from the others.

“From the guards posted near the village, of course,” Nonna replied, either ignoring or not hearing all that was going on outside. She had made herself comfortable on a stack of books, her walking stick laid across her lap. “Wonderful lads the lot of them, but they gossip like hens. Couldn’t keep a secret to save their skins.”

There was a sudden shout from outside the tent and Farris pushed his way in, looking quite fearsome and irritated as he looked around the floor. “Where’d that old bat go?”

“Oh, no need for insults now, Farris,” Nonna said, waving a hand at him from atop the table. “I’m plenty old, but I ain’t no bat.”

Farris looked up and upon seeing Nonna on the table, he leveled a fierce glare at Yale who shrank back with a helpless shrug. “What? She’s just a lil’ old lady, boss.”

He turned is ire then to the old woman and, seeing Nenani standing only a few feet away, reached out and swept her off the table. Nonna watched with a disproving eye and huffed. “Not so much as an ‘If you please?’”

Farris set his baffled ward firmly in the crook of his arm, his hand curling around her feet. “There are protocols in place fer ye lil’ fuckers to have yer say and ye need t’see Rheil or Donal about it. Not sneakin’ in through the back door and disruptin’ my kitchen,” Farris told her, returning her disapproval with a huff of his own. “I have a right mind to toss ye lot into a crate and ship ye all back t’the Hill Tribe and let Warrick deal with ye.”

She waved dismissively at him.

“Warrick has plenty to do all on his own without you helping him along none, thank you,” Nonna replied nonchalantly. Nenani was a more than a little surprised at how easily she spoke to Farris. Even other giants shrank back from his ire when he was truly and proper mad. “But I do realize we have made a muddle of this and put you all out of sorts and for that I do apologize. But when you hear that your late brother’s granddaughter is alive after all this time and so very close...well, you can’t rightly give two shits about proper channels and protocols. I wanted to meet my grandniece and I wasn’t going to wait for an invitation.”

“Yer grandniece?” Farris echoed dubiously.

“That’s right. Her grandfather, Captain Haiyer, was my younger brother,” Nonna explained. “And her father and uncle are my nephews. And if you still doubt me...”

Nonna trailed off and reached behind her head and undid the ribbon tying her hair back and the whole mess of her thick white hair poofed into a wild bushy mane, tendrils falling about her face and obscuring her eyes. Farris and Yale looked between Nenani and the old woman and it was painfully obvious they were related. The hair did not lie. Nenani stared at the woman in mute fascination, unconsciously reaching up to feel her own bushy locks.  

Yale snorted, turning his head and tried to disguise his amusement in a fake cough.

Nonna brushed aside her hair and smiled in sympathy at Nenani. “I’m afraid all Daelg women suffer from this curse. My daughter had it and my granddaughters have it and so do you. And should you ever have a daughter of your own, be ready for her to have it as well. Of course none of the men in the family have any problems. Heads of full luscious locks well into their eighties, not a problem to be seen. The lucky sods.”

Farris snorted with a lopsided smirk and begrudgingly nodded to the woman. He sat Nenani back down onto the table, rubbing a finger across her hair and chuckled when she batted at him. “Fine, then,” he said to Nonna. “I believe ye. But ye seem t’know my name and I haven’t a clue who ye are.”

“Oh phooey. Everyone in the village knows who you are, Farris. No mistaking you at all. Though, I suppose you wouldn’t know my name or face,” she conceded with a mild smile. “You always drop off your waifs and strays with us so late at night when I tend to be asleep. Never was one to hold late hours, I like my sleep. But I’m one of those who help settle in those you bring us. Everyone calls me Nonna.”  

Farris tiled his head and gestured vaguely behind him. “Well, Nonna, ye may want to go talk some sense into yer mates out there. My boys’ have ‘em rounded up, but that lil’ fella with the sword is askin’ fer a right arse kickin’ and I have it in my mind to go ahead and let Bart get on with it.”

Nonna sighed. “That stupid boy. Always itchin’ fer fight he can’t hope to win. He’s harmless, understand. More hot air than anything and couldn’t swing that sword to cut his bread.” For her age, Nonna was quite spry and demonstrated it by easily hopping down off the of book stack. After securing her hair back, she looked up at Farris with a long suffering sigh. “Well, no matter how badly they’re behaving, I suppose it would rude for me to let you cook them. It would be a bit hard to explain to Warrick why his squire’s been turned into a pie.”

Farris grinned darkly and offered her a hand up. “Don’t think Warrick would need much an explanation if he let that one be his squire. I’m sure he’d understand perfectly well.” He laughed. “Might even thank me fer it.”

“Farris, my good man, you have no idea.”

BONUS ART:

#DUMPLING #Giant/tiny #g/t fantasy story #magic #Nenani #Maevis #Farris #Yale #Quinn #Kol #Nonna #fantasy giant #g/t #bonus art

[medea10]

Medea Plays Pokemon Sword: Part II

After a long week of work and watching idiots doing idiot things because they’re idiots (a.k.a. Impeachment Hearings), it’s time to sit back and spaz over cute Yampers doing cute Yamper things.

I know, I’m a Clefairy-line fan. And I cannot wait to get one so I can get my Missy the Clefable. But...

Look at this cute, wittle breadloaf.

Aw, I want to be with you forever too, Winston Corgles Ein Handbanana the Breadloaf.

Hey, no! No.

We’re not evolving you...yet.

On another subject I forgot to mention in the last shit-post. If you played Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee, there’s a fella that gives you a Pikachu and Eevee. Downside is, NO you cannot evolve them. And on another another subject, check out the first sentence on Piki’s bio.

Piki is total bad-ass. She’s a lost member of Naughty by Nature and is down with O.P.P.

I will always be a child of early 90′s Hip Hop. Back to the shit-post.

Another run-in with this butt-wipe. Let’s see how far he’s past in my characters I hate list. Um, he is now at Trip levels!

Thinks he’s better than you and has this notice-me-senpai syndrome for an older gentleman. Let’s hope Bede stays at this level and doesn’t go any further than this.

I beat Nessa. And I now ship Nessa x Sonia. Now it’s time to...

What crawled out your vagina to make you so fucking crabby?

Yeah, as you can plainly see I still have severe distrust for Chairman Rose and bitchy-locks here.

Hey, a thought occurs. What pokemon am I eating at this seafood restaurant? I know I love calamari. Am I eating Octillery? Oh God, I’m a monster!

Oh my God, this game is making me question everything in life and it’s getting too real man. Show me some cute pokemon!

Close enough. This would probably be my mother’s house since Wooper is her favorite pokemon.

Oh, fuck me, guy! This turd again?

Okay, now we blast past hating you on the same level as Trip.

Bede is now at...

Motoyasu from Shield Hero. An asshole I’m hoping gets whammed in the nuts more than once.

So far this game is giving me Hau 2.0 and a rival I wish would develop cancer and die quickly. Is it so much to ask for that we get a rival that...

Oh shit, there’s Marnie. I know I haven’t seen her in a while, but I do like her.

*snorts* Her cheering crowd is funny sometimes. Just look at these tossers!

They’re so fucking stupid I just have to laugh whenever I see them. They’re so amusing.

Meanwhile...

Got my third badge. And now onto...YOU AGAIN?!

Okay, Motoyasu is starting to look good compared to you Bede-wipe. Even my co-worker called you a douchebag.

You are now at Dilandau from Escaflowne levels. Please Bede, stop frequently coming in my direction.

Okay, made it to Hammerlocke. Did some stuff here, like...

Help a young boy with saying goodbye to a possible crush.

And get me a Flapple.

Resisted the urge to laugh at this dude’s shorts.

And learned that Pokemon can still talk about poop.

Just like when Gary Oak found fossilized pokemon poop.

Season one will always amuse me.

Geez, Galar’s got some major pigeon problems too.

Well, I’m done here if I can’t fight the gym leader yet. Time to hit the road to the next town. But not before running into...

Swinging Belleville Rendez-vous

I will never tire of saying that.

Time for the next town.

Oh fuck, I think this kid’s about to learn what a “golden shower” is if he stands under Bronzong like that any longer.

Fought and beat Bea.

And as much as I give flack to Hop for being Hau’s doppelganger, what with the one-syllable name, the same animation movements, and a need to be as strong as *insert family member here*, I feel for the kid.

He ended up fighting Bede and losing badly. And I feel sorry for this guy.

*sighs* Yeah, it’s time I have to see this little asshole AGAIN. Like the fucking herpes, this kid doesn’t go away. What’s he doing now?

Fucking shit, kid!

Welcome to Shinji Matou levels!

I just pray that Bede gets punched like that in this game by Milo or Cinderace or Leon or anyone really.

That’s why I was actually caught off guard when THIS happened.

And he freakin’ strips Bede from being a challenger right in front of us. I’m just, wow. Okay, give a star to the potential bad guy.

Wait, what?

Fuck.

No. Not doing this. Nope. I’m sick of the sad backstory coming out of nowhere to make me feel sorry for a character who has been an absolute pile of shit since the moment you saw him. Hell, even during the PV stage of this game, you knew you were going to hate this kid. So, no. I still hate him. Now that may change as I progress. But for now, fuck him!

Next town!

Okay, officially found the place I would gladly live in the Pokemon world. Well, I’d still be in Pallet Town for certain stalking reasons. But vacation home here!

Time to challenge Opal...and also go through an audition.

I seriously got some severe deja vu here. I thought I time-traveled back to high school, it was that freaky.

Yeah, um, screw you. I like wearing all black. Clefable may be my favorite pokemon, but I dress like a goth-moth 24/7.

Leave me alone about not wearing pink. For fuck’s sake, you tripped me up with your stupid question about favorite colors. How was I supposed to know purple was your favorite color when you keep saying I should wear more pink?

Say it again. Say pink again. I dare you. I double dare you, mother fucker! Say pink one more time!

Okay, I thought I would go straight-up Sam Jackson here. But this is a pretty funny moment. Though this next moment does get a little too stranger danger-y for my liking.

HA!

Okay Bede, don’t come back until you’re back to a tolerable-Trip level.

Back on the journey and I saw...

Many inventive curries.

Another whack-ass, white boy rapper.

The love child of the cactus and centipede from the Mario games.

And...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

MA! CALL THE FUCKING COPS!

THAT FUCKING CAT IS BACK! IT EVOLVED!

Okay, I’m done.

To be continued.

#pokemon sword and shield #pokemon #bede #yamper #chairman rose #oleana #perrserker #bea #kabu #nessa #opal #team yell #marnie #hop #pikachu #flapple #bronzong #pidove

[firebenderbreath]

Fire Breath Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Start of a Revolution

(Disclaimer! I own nothing of Korra or Lemonade Mouth!)

We were all sitting in the office with Raiko.

He clapped his hands.

"Well, well, well…. That was quite a show you did at the bash," he said, "You should all consider yourselves very talented."

Korra smiled.

"Your two songs you had were out of this world, and surprisingly caught the entire crowd by surprise," he continued.

His smile started to vanish a bit.

"But for your information…. A High School dance is no place for a… political tirade," he said, "What you did that night was completely disruptive, and a distraction to the board of education."

He looked at Korra.

"As for you Onuki," he said, "You promised Principal Tenzin and me that there would be no more shenanigans."

"That wasn't a shenanigan," Korra said defending us.

"Well what would you call it then?" Asked Vice Principal Raiko.

"A freedom of expression," Korra said, "We were trying to speak our minds and you shut us down…."

"Yes, I shut you down, because the decisions I make, and Principal Tenzin make are for the good of this school," said Raiko, "And with that good in mind… Fire Breath is finished."

"What?" I asked.

"You heard me," said Raiko, "And I am officially putting the music room off limits. I forbid you all from using the instruments."

"You can't do that," Bolin said.

"I can and I have, and if I hear so much as a hum COMING FROM THE LOCKER ROOM….. I will not hesitate to suspend all of you," he said, "Are we clear?"

We all nodded.

"Dismissed," he said.

We all left.

"I can't believe this," Korra said.

Kai was in his science class with one of his friends.

A classmate of his Jinora tapped his shoulder.

"Hey, I thought you might wanna see this," she said.

It was a CD titled "Fire Breath at the Bash"

"Its the show you did," Jinora said, "I took pleasure in recording your performances, and Dad said I should give it to you."

"Whoa," Kai said.

"And a couple of kids were asking if they could buy copies and I sold some," said Jinora, "I hope you don't mind."

Korra and the rest of us were looking at an article.

"This year's halloween bash will be remembered by outstanding performance of the band, Fire Breath."

"Wow, our first review," Korra said.

"And our last apparently," Opal said, "Since he shut us down."

Some girls were coming by us.

Jinora was one of them grinning at Kai.

"Wow, they actually like us," said Kai.

"I'm not sure its us they like Kai," Bolin said grinning at him.

"Oh…." Kai said.

As we continued our day we saw posters about our band.

"Whoa," Korra said.

She saw a bunch of kids wearing flannels like her.

They were greeting us.

"You all seeing this?" Opal said.

A janitor was taking a sign down.

Raiko saw Korra walking by.

"You!" He said, "I thought I made it clear that this Fire Breath business is over."

"Um…. I hate to break it to you buddy but that wasn't us," Korra said.

"First off I'm not your buddy, I'm your principal," Raiko said, "And secondly you're playing a dangerous game…. And you're gonna lose."

He took the broom and knocked the poster down.

We met at the same diner.

"Soooooo what if I told you we managed to get ourselves a new gig?" Asked Korra.

"I'd say you're nuts," said Opal, "He's never gonna change our mind."

"Not at school, at this diner," Korra said, "Principal Tenzin knows a person that works here and showed him the video footage."

"Raiko can tell us not to play at school but he can't say we can't play anywhere else," said Kai.

"I don't know about anybody else but… I wanna keep going with this," said Opal, "This band thing has completely changed who I am as a person, but I just gotta keep it from my parents for a bit."

"Just tell them we formed a study group or something," Korra said.

"Right," said Opal.

She passed us some lyrics.

"I actually wrote a song," said Opal, "And I got chord charts and everything. All we gotta do is put it together."

I smiled.

"GUYS!" Bolin said.

We all went outside.

"Bolin you alright?" Asked Korra.

We were looking at a poster of us performing.

It was the beginning of a new revolution.

Every day we started playing at Kwong's Cuisine.

She's so gone

Opal: Insecure

In her skin

Like a puppet, a girl on a string

Broke away

Learned to fly

If you want her back gotta let her shine

So it looks like the joke's on you

'Cause the girl that you thought you knew

She's so gone

That's so over now

She's so gone

You won't find her around

You can look but you won't see

The girl I used to be

'Cause she's

She's so gone

Here I am

This is me

And I'm stronger than you ever thought I'd be

Are you shocked?

Are you mad?

That you're missing out on who I really am

Now it looks like the joke's on you

'Cause the girl that you thought you knew

She's so gone

That's so over now

She's so gone

You won't find her around

You can look but you won't see

The girl I used to be

'Cause she's

She's so gone away

Like history

She's so gone

Baby, this is me, yeah

Bolin smiled at Opal.

Opal was having the time of her life, while Mako was watching us.

"They're really that good," he said.

Opal: She's so gone

That's so over now

She's so gone

You won't find her around

You can look but you won't see

The girl I used to be

'Cause she's

She's so gone

She's so gone

You can look but you won't see

The girl I used to be

'Cause she's

She's so gone

So long

She's so gone

Gone, gone, gone

The crowd cheered our band name.

Kuvira walked away.

"One way or another I'll show those worthless fuckers who really rocks the stage," she said.

#korrasami #korrasami au #lemonade mouth #opal beifong #bopal #bolin #mako #kai legend of korra #kuvira

[abarbaricyalp]

Energize This

Ronan and Adam had done a lot of crazy things. Searching for dead Welsh kings. Finding non-dead Welsh princesses. Killing a Latin professor and leading to another’s demise. Demon possession. Death several times over. Felony assault. Dreaming up children. Then all the normal stupid teenage shit. Blowjobs outside churches. Sex above it. Street racing. Sex in the back of cars that street raced. Breaking into old houses (even if one of them did technically own it). Dropping out of high school. Questionable decisions were basically most of their life and Adam wasn’t sure how he’d felt about that. The memories of Aglionby and who they’d been then were a little blurry in his mind. Times ran together and memories tangled in his sleep until he couldn’t quite remember what happened when and what happened to him.

But things were quieter now. They had a house that they (legally) owned. They’d worked out what Opal was and how to handle this dream creature. Adam had gone to school and was taking a year off before heading off to Harvard for his doctorates. They’d been looking at places up there they could all stay. They painted the house. They bought the appliances they needed. They decorated Opal’s room. They named farm animals and brought baby lambs into the house when it rained. They were normal. For God’s sake, Adam taught at a summer school for gifted children. They couldn’t be more vanilla if they tried.

Gansey was the one who’d gone on to continue searching out crazy tidbits of science and history. It was poor Blue who was spending most of the time she wasn’t in class out exploring rainforests with him. It was Henry who fully encouraged this behavior from whatever beautiful South American home they were renting together. So Adam didn’t understand why he was sitting on the edge of his and Ronan bed in their dark house in the middle of Nowhere Henrietta, Virginia as he watched a cow levitate in the air.

It was one of Ronan’s dream cows. Not one of Niall’s sleeping ones. Not one that Ronan had bought from someone else. It floated in the air, continuing to chew whatever it was that dream cows ate. Adam reached behind him and hit Ronan’s arm lightly until he figured out what he was holding and then shaking the man.

“Opal, go the fuck to sleep,” Ronan muttered.

“It’s me, dipshit,” Adam answered before shaking him more vigorously.

“Parrish, go the fuck to sleep,” Ronan snarled instead, reaching up to bat away Adam’s arm.

Gansey and Blue and Henry had gone to Roswell on their roadtrip before Blue packed up for school. They hadn’t actually been searching for anything but it was something none of them wanted to deny themselves if they were going to go through New Mexico anyway. They hadn’t found anything and Gansey was a particularly good finder.

Yet here was a cow, levitating in air in a beam of light.

“Lynch, one of your cows is being abducted.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Go to sleep,” Ronan growled, propping himself up on an elbow and glaring up at Adam. he seemed to realize that Adam’s face was well lit in what was supposed to be their dark room. He scrambled up to sit next to Adam, hand on his thigh and digging into the bare skin roughly. “What the fuck is that?”

“You didn’t dream that up?” Adam asked, looking at him exasperatedly.

“Hell no I didn’t dream up moonlight that floats my cow!”

“Opal,” Adam gasped. Both men scrambled over each other to get to her room but she was curled up in bed, quietly bleating into a stuffed animal that was pressed to her face. Adam had never been so happy to see her messy hair tangled up on her pillow.

“So what’s outside?” Adam asked.

“And what does it want?”

They both grabbed a pair of sweatpants from wherever they’d last been discarded. If the way they were sliding off his hips was any indication, Adam had grabbed some of Ronan’s. Ronan found a tank top of his that was rank even from the distance Adam was standing from him and Adam pulled on a sweatjacket he’d left on the couch. (Actually, Ronan had been the one to yank it off and then carry Adam away from his pile of clothes so technically he left it there)

They tugged on mud boots that were by the door. They were domestic. They had clothes scattered around and boots ready to go by the door so they could tromp after their kid in the rain. There should not be a levitating cow in a field.

Adam knew what it was before they went outside. He’d had a vague sense of it the whole time. But, dammit, it was still damn irritating to see it and be right. Above their west field, there was a large UFO, beaming down light and pulling up the dream cow still. It was slow going but the cow was looking around now, bits of food occasionally falling from its velvety mouth. This was unbelievable.

Ronan Lynch was unbelievable because he was waving his arms wildly and shouting. “Put my fucking cow down! Hey! I dream that! Put it down!”

The field went dark and then the cow fell back to the earth a pretty terrible thud. “You fuckers!” Ronan shouted, running to the small crater the cow had created.

Adam chased after him because of course he did. He’d only just caught Ronan’s arm and started to shout about not knowing what was wrong with the cow now when the light burst on again. Directly over them. Adam’s fingers went even tighter around Ronan’s arm and Ronan turned into him to hold onto Adam tightly as they lifted from the ground. When Adam dared look down, he realized they were going a lot faster than the cow had. He pressed his face back into Ronan’s shoulder.

At least if they died, everything at the farms would fall asleep. Opal would be asleep. The thought was enough to make Adam want to lean over and throw up. What would Gansey think when he inevitably made his way home and found the Barns slumbering yet again? What would he think to find no body for either Adam or Ronan? Would he think Adam had killed Ronan and fled? Would he suspect foul play? Would Cabeswater be a suspect?

And, worse yet, if they didn’t die and Opal woke up alone, what would she do? Gansey, Henry, and Blue were thousands of miles away. She’d wait at least a day to call them, probably. Would she be smart enough to call the psychics? Would the trio believe her enough to call them for her? Would she be okay? Did she still know the number? What if the aliens came back for her?

Adam suddenly started struggling, wanting desperately to protect his daughter. She was his daughter dammit. They were a family. They had specific cups and plates that each of them liked and Adam couldn’t bear to lose that now.

Struggling only made them rise faster and Adam realized he was openly sobbing against Ronan’s shoulder. Why them? Why not Gansey who wanted this shit or Blue who would be so much more prepared for this? Why not the psychics who probably believed in aliens?

Ronan clenched his fingers in Adam’s jacket and Adam squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, they were on the obvious command deck of the ship. Adam didn’t know what he expected but something akin to Star Trek wasn’t it. Everything was sleek metal and tiled. A side to side reaching window spanned the front of the ship and offered an unobstructed few of Henrietta as it stretched just beyond the tips of the trees. Ronan was still holding onto him tightly. Adam couldn’t tell which of them was shaking harder.

Two eyes blinked at them from where they hung suspended in the air. “Fuck off,” Ronan spat.

A mouth appeared below the eyes and they looked suspiciously like Ronan’s. “Fuck off,” the lips said in a dead ringer for Ronan’s angry growl.

A tentacle looking appendage appeared and slapped the half face in the air behind it. It stopped a few feet behind the eyes though and Adam shivered at imaging how long its head was.

“Why us?” Adam asked towards the appendage. Lips appeared and Adam thought they might have been his but he’d never noticed such a pronounced bow in his upper lip.

“You have an energy we want to learn.” Its words were staccato and halting. The voice changed every few syllables and it was more than disconcerting.

“You can’t learn energy, dipshits,” Ronan snarled.

Another appendage appeared and hovered in front of Ronan’s face. Whether the alien meant to hit or touch him was lost to Adam as Ronan stumbled back so fast he ended up sprawling on the ground and continued to scramble back.

“We wish to study you. Your cow had much energy but then you both walked out. Alone you are impressive but together you fried one of our readers.”

“We’re not good examples of normal humans,” Adam tried to placate, pulling Ronan up. A pretty blush was working over his cheeks and he was glaring at the disembodied pieces.

“We are not looking for normal humans.” Adam shivered when the alien used Adam’s own voice to answer. “We are looking for energy sources.”

“Look, we’ve been through this before. We got rid of a demon who wanted our energy. I died for it. My baby brother almost died. My kid. You aren’t getting it.” Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand gently.

“A demon,” the first aline said. “Of the Christian theology?”

“I don’t know what book it crawled out of but we put it right back.”

“We don’t wish to take your energy, Ronan Niall Lynch, Kerah, Darlin’, Greywarren, Shithead, Snake.” Ronan stumbled back again and only remained standing because Adam kept a hold on him even though it came at the cost of the comfort of his arm socket.

“Your child will be okay,” the other thing placated and both of them clutched onto each other a little tighter. “We can see that you are worried about her. Both of you are. You love her and she is small.”

“Don’t you fucking touch her,” Ronan snarled in a way that sent shivers over Adam’s back.

“We wish you no harm. Nor your child. We wish only to examine your energy. Perhaps you’d rather we come back later.”

“She’s going to be waking up,” Adam explained as calmly as he could.

“Time exists differently here. Your child will be safe as long as you are up here.” Adam’s lips smiled at him and he didn’t like it.

“What do you want to know?” he asked.

-------------------------------------

Adam woke up tangled in the sheets, sweat lining his body and a hoodie slid up to his armpits. Ronan was sprawled out half on the bed and half off, sweatpants tugged halfway down his thighs. They’d slept hard apparently.

Adam sat up and yawned, ran a hand through his hair, and then peeled his boxers off of his sweaty legs. He cocked his head at the sweatpants that were bunched around his ankles but he figured he’d just grabbed Ronan’s by accident and kicked them off in the middle of the night.

He reached behind him and shook Ronan’s knee until he heard the man hit the ground when he was shaken from his balance. “Ow, you fucker, what the fuck?” Ronan grumbled. His legs disappeared from the bed and then he clawed his way back into the messy sheets. “My head fucking hurts.”

“Yeah, I’m still kind of tired too. I think I slept too much.”

“Dreamed too hard?”

“I think we know when you dream too hard,” Adam assured with a grin. He leaned over to kiss Ronan and got a groan for his troubles.

“Go brush your teeth. You smell like a frog died in your mouth.”

“You’re so charming in the mornings,” Adam scoffed. He’d just stood up when Opal let herself into their room, dragging her pillow behind her. She crawled into the bed and wormed her way against Ronan’s side.

“I had a bad dream,” she said without prompting. “The cow died and there were aliens and you weren’t there.”

A cow mooed outside and another butted its head against the wall of the house, upset at not having been fed yet. Adam scratched at a long thin rash on his chest that pulse with every heartbeat. Kids and their imaginations. He frowned when he saw Ronan mimicking his movements as his other hand stroked Opal’s hair. There was a similar rash across his chest too.

“That’s just what I was dreaming about. You must have gotten in my head somehow.”

But Adam felt like he knew that dream too. The cow butted its head against the wall again and Adam looked out the window to see which one it was. Most of the other cows were gathered around a hole in the west field and the grass looked dead. It picked at something in his mind and he was so engrossed in thought that he tripped over his feet falling backwards when a dream cow suddenly showed up in front of the window.

It was staring at Adam and...was it...glowing?

((Self indulgent crack for the last day. I have a thing for aliens and irony. Gansey’s gonna shit himself when he hears about this. Like these posts? Want to see them in one place? Might I suggest looking at this?))

#pynchweek #pynch #ronan lynch #adam parrish #the raven cycle #alien au #aliens #writing #OTP: in more than his lips

[saywhatjessie]

‘Cause Baby I’m a Slytherin and Boy you are a Gryffindor

I'm trying to write something else but have no motivation so I decided to write this as a warm up and it got way longer than expected go fuckin' figure. (Ao3) 2.8k

Adam made sure not to let Ronan catch him smiling as he made his way into the kitchen. He couldn’t let Ronan see him looking as Ronan’s face went a little pink in the cheeks, his eyes tightening and his lip pulled between his teeth.

“Morning.” He bent to kiss Ronan behind the ear, allowing himself a tiny grin as he noted the angry blush on Ronan’s neck. “Has Opal eaten?”

Ronan cleared his throat, avoiding Adam’s eyes. “Yeah, little shit is already outside, terrorizing the chickens.” His spoon clanged loudly on the side of his bowl in a way that was more to make noise than actually scoop cereal from milk to mouth. “You want eggs or something?”

“No, I’ll just have some orange juice.”

Ronan rolled his eyes, providing a break from his previous silent annoyance now to be vocally annoyed at Adam’s eating habits. “You need actual food, Parrish.”

Adam rolled his eyes back, letting himself smirk for real. “I will get food later, Lynch. It’s too early to put anything else in my stomach, so soon after waking up.”

Ronan snorted. “Well maybe if you didn’t sleep in to fuck all hours.”

Adam just shook his head. He’d asked Ronan for days after he’d started staying at the Barns to wake him up when Ronan got up. Ronan never did it. He wanted to let Adam sleep whenever he could.

“Jackass.” He said fondly. Ronan winked and took a bite of his cereal.

Adam smiled and poured himself a glass of orange juice, wiping the condensation from the carton on the red and gold fabric of his pajama pant legs. Ronan chewed on his lip again, averting his eyes. Adam grinned for real.

 Ronan really really liked to see Adam in his clothes. Part of it was possessiveness and part of it was being the one to keep Adam warm (neither of which he’d ever admit to) but mostly, Adam knew, it was the concession.

Adam did not like to be taken care of. He did not like wearing or using or having something that wasn’t his – that he hadn’t bought or earned. By Adam wearing Ronan’s clothes, he was letting a little of that go. Something Ronan loved to see.

So Ronan loved when Adam wore his things. Except if those things were Gryffindor themed.

Adam hadn’t really grown up with Harry Potter the same way Ronan had – he couldn’t afford to buy the books as soon as they came out, he never saw the movies in theaters. His father wouldn’t even let him watch cable so he never caught a Harry Potter weekend on ABC Family. He was aware of it in the same way most people were aware of Harry Potter because it was the most popular book series on earth but he’d never given it much thought growing up. Didn’t have the time.

Ronan, on the other hand, names a literal cow after Harry Potter. So he was a fan.

Ronan introducing Adam to Harry Potter was endearing for several reasons. One, Ronan tried not to express too much enthusiasm. It was obvious to Adam how much Ronan cared about Harry Potter because of everything he’d ever learned about Ronan, but Ronan still tried desperately to keep cool and not get too excited when talking about it. The multiple times he’d woken up from dreaming holding a golden snitch or chocolate frog that actually hopped gave him away a bit.

Secondly, Opal, who had no hang-ups about looking too enthusiastic, loved Harry Potter. She must have known everything already, being an extension of Ronan, but she let Ronan teach her about everything as if it were the first time she were hearing it. And she was very excited about it.

Opal insisted they all get officially sorted on Pottermore.com. She and Ronan were in the same house which didn’t surprise Adam at all. Ronan had gone through his life proclaiming himself a Gryffindor and Pottermore agreed. Adam pretended to be surprised by this.

“Brave? Noble? Chivalrous? I thought you didn’t lie Lynch.”

Adam was Slytherin, which he quite liked the sound of.

“Cunning? Ambitious? Sounds about right.”

“Except I’m the snake, remember?”

Adam cuffed Ronan on the head. “Hush now, lion cub, the grown-up is talking.”

Blue and Gansey loved this. On their travels, they went out of their way to send back presents that related to Ronan and Adam’s Hogwarts houses. Ronan and Opal received hats and sweaters of crimson and gold with lions on them. Adam amassed a collection of smaller green and silver snake-adorned things like tie-pins and cufflinks.

Ronan obviously had more merchandise, having been collecting it for years, but Adam’s modest pile of Slytherin things was not to be ignored.

But ignore it he did.

Because wearing Ronan’s Gryffindor things when Adam was not a Gryffindor?

Made Ronan furious.

 The five of them were at Nino’s over fall break of Adam’s freshman year at Princeton. Blue and Gansey had needed to be back in Virginia to be with their families for Thanksgiving so they’d all taken the opportunity to catch up. Henry’s family, being Korean and also Canadian, didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, so he would be staying with Blue at Fox Way with the psychics.

“Now that I think about it, I wouldn’t think the witches would be into eating a slaughtered animal to commemorate the genocide of an entire people.” Ronan noted, casually.

Blue narrowed her eyes at him, throwing a balled up straw wrapper at his head. “We’re not. A couple of my half-aunts are Powhatan and they like to take the day and make it about actual sharing of cultures by making us a feast of their people.”

Gansey grinned. “Oh, Jane, that sounds fascinating! I wish I could come.”

“But you’ll be too busy celebrating your ancestors coming in to rape and pillage the Powhatan people with your own family, won’t you Dick?” Ronan asked, mouth like a pit viper.

Gansey looked crestfallen and Blue threw something else at Ronan and Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand in warning. Ronan shrugged apologetically. “I’m just saying.”

“I’ll have robobee email you a play-by-play, princelet.” Henry said, patting Gansey’s hand jovially. “I feel I will be too overwhelmed at the time to take notes myself. So many ladies a Cheng has never dealt with at a time.”

“Oh man, the psychics are gonna eat you alive.” Ronan was back to grinning. “I wish I could see that.”

Adam rolled his eyes and unzipped his hoodie, now too warm in the restaurant after the chill from outside.

“What the fuck, Parrish?”

Adam blinked, thrown off by the familiar words coming from Blue and not Ronan. “What?”

She gestured to his torso. “You told us you were a Slytherin.”

Adam looked down, having forgotten when he unzipped his hoodie what shirt he had put on that morning. A red and gold lion stared up at him.

“Oh, yeah, I am.”

Henry’s grin was feral. “So that would make that Ronan’s shirt.”

Adam’s grin matched Henry’s as his eyes slid over to see Ronan’s face painted red.

Blue cackled. “Oh my God, look at that blush. He’s all hot and bothered seeing his boyfriend wearing his clothes.”

“Jane.” Gansey scolded, he too going pink, but a smile flirting with the edge of his mouth.

Adam bit his lip, refusing to laugh. Ronan was bothered alright, just not in the way Blue meant.

Adam knew this. But he still batted his eyes at Ronan, reaching over to put a hand on his chest. “Did I get you all revved up, baby?”

Henry and Blue broke into fresh peals of laughter as Ronan tore his way out of the booth. “Fuck off, Parrish.”

Adam laughed, watching Ronan slump his way out of Nino’s. He’d come back when he was done being embarrassed.

When Adam turned back, Gansey was eyeing him reproachfully. “That wasn’t kind, Adam.”

Adam just shrugged. Gansey didn’t need to Ronan was blushing because was annoyed, not aroused. Gansey didn’t need to know Adam was wearing Ronan’s Gryffindor clothes on purpose. Gansey didn’t need to know any of their business.

“Don’t worry about it Gansey. I’ve got it under control.”

Gansey still looked reproachful and Blue Heny made whipping sounds and Blue waggled her eyebrows but by the time Ronan came back inside, the subject had passed, Adam’s hoodie was zipped back up, and everything was back to normal.

 It would never make sense to Adam how Ronan could hate his phone so much but have no problem using his laptop for skype.

“I’m not expected to carry this fuckin thing around with me all day.” Ronan had tried to explain, once. “Nobody expects me to answer anything on this right away. I can take time away from this and no one gets pissed about it. But if Declan calls me on this fucker,” he held up his much abused phone as evidence. “and I don’t answer, suddenly I’m the asshole.”

“Well, not suddenly.” Adam smirked. Ronan flipped him off.

Adam had taken advantage of this weird loophole in Ronan’s aversion to technology by skyping him at least four times a week while off at school. His scholarship had included a student laptop which had webcam and skype capabilities so Adam could contact Ronan whenever he wanted and not rely on anyone to do it. It was the best case scenario as far as he was concerned.

He had called Ronan on Skype one evening, mostly because he missed him, but also to keep the nerves at bay about the oncoming networking dinner he had been invited to attend.

It was just a thing for Freshman: a way for Engineering companies to look at the best and brightest new students and try and start laying groundwork early in hopes that they’d come work for their firm after graduating. Not every incoming freshman was invited to the fancy dinner but Adam was. A revelation that made Adam panic and Ronan say “Duh.”

Ronan was being a great distraction at present, regaling Adam with a swear-filled tale of triumph involving Opal and a bucket of slugs.

“So this fucking snot has two hands in this bucket and I just scrubbed the goat shit off the goddamn walls from her last fuckery, but she’s already dripping pond scum onto my shitting carpet and– what the fuck are you wearing?”

Adam looked over, hands still on his tie, to see Ronan paused, his face screwed up and red. His hands are still raised mid-gesture from his story. “What?”

Ronan’s face flushed redder, giving him big pixelized splotches on his forehead on Adam’s laptop screen. “Your tie.”

Adam looked down. The ted was red and gold striped. He suppressed a smirk.

“Blue picked this outfit out for me.”

Ronan snorted. “You let Sargeant make fashion decisions for your big fancy dinner party?”

Adam shrugged, frowning at the knot of his tie. “I facetimed Gansey to ask him if my outfit looked okay, because google wouldn’t give me any helpful information about how to pair ties and suits and I’ve never had this many options before. Blue was there so she helped.”

“Why couldn’t you ask me?”

Adam shot him an exasperated look. “Every time I ask you if I look okay you either say ‘No outfit will ever fix your ugly mug, Parrish’ or ‘Fuck anyone who wouldn’t like your face no matter what you’re wearing, Parrish’.”

Ronan shrugged, unrepentant. “But why that tie?”

Adam brushed at his sleeved in the way he saw men do in high-end tailors. “It matches the suit.”

“And a Slyth– a green tie wouldn’t match?”

Adam bit back another smile. It’s true, a green – that is to say Slytherin –  tie would go fine with his outfit. It was a navy blue wool suit jacket with a subtle plaid pattern and a light blue shirt. The green would have worked, all of the cool colors making him look dapper and sophisticated. But Blue suggested the red and gold tie and a yellow pocket square for interesting color contrast. To make him memorable.

And yes, Adam may have nudged her toward the red and gold tie, but Ronan didn’t need to know that.

“I like this tie.”

Ronan pouted, grumbling.

Adam smiled. “Are you going to finish your story about Opal and the slugs? I should probably get out of here in about fifteen minutes.”

Ronan swore but continued with his story, the climax of which included a slingshot, rubber gloves, and dream food-dye that changed color when sang to.

Before Adam hung up, Ronan stopped him with a “People will think you’re a Gryffindor, you know.”

Adam looked at him. This was the closest Ronan had come to acknowledging it. Acknowledging that Adam wearing Gryffindor things bothered him. “I don’t think anyone at this dinner is going to see my tie and think of Harry Potter, Ronan.”

Ronan grunted. “And if they do?”

Adam shrugged, grinning. “There’s a worse place for a Slytherin to be. Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” He winked. “They’ll never see me coming.”

 It all came to a head over Christmas break.

Adam almost snorted to himself as he thought that sentence. ‘Came to a head.’ How wonderful that phrasing was in the context of what he and Ronan were doing.

Ronan was mouthing along Adam’s collarbone, making his way slowly and agonizingly down Adam’s torso. Adam was ignoring him, or trying to, as he rid himself of every item of clothing between his body and Ronan’s. Which was to say all of them.

Ronan had been no help in this venture, too busy with Adam’s lips or hands or elbows. Ronan seemed keen on erasing every bad memory of a bruise Adam might have had with good memories of love and other kinds of bruises. Seeing as Adam had never catalogued everywhere he’d been bruised, Ronan took that to mean he had to worship anywhere.

Adam was very keen on letting him but that would be much easier if they were naked already.

Ronan basically was, only left in his boxer briefs, not being very clothed to begin with. Adam had had to start with his jacket and shoes and was still making his way to the full monty. And Ronan, his mouth biting into Adam’s neck, was not helping.

“Fuck, Ro.” Adam gasped through gritted teeth. Ronan chuckled, the air from his mouth cool against the damp spot he’d left on Adam’s throat.

As far as percentages went, Adam was doing well in clothing removal. He’d removed his jacket, shirt, belt, shoes, and pants. He really only had his boxers and socks to go. That was, like 90% if you went by square inch of fabric. 93% if you went by weight.

Good enough Adam thought, grabbing Ronan to spin him and throw him on the bed.

Ronan’s face was lit up and happy in a way it almost never was. It lacked the usual edge of malice or arrogance or scorn. This was Ronan untethered, unmasked. This was Ronan who was super happy his boyfriend was bossy in bed.

Adam’s grin was lethal as he stepped onto the bed, ready to hold Ronan down with his whole body when–

“Adam, what the fuck?”

Adam stopped, half-straddling Ronan. “What?”

Ronan lunged forward, grabbing at Adam’s calf. “Where did you even get these?”

Adam looked dumbly at his red and gold covered feet. He remembered putting them on, remembering thinking how funny it would be when Ronan noticed.

He was astonishingly finding it less funny than he was expecting to.

“They’re yours, obviously. I stole them when I stole the tie.”

Ronan looked exasperated at Adam, still clutching his calf. “Why?!”

“Because it’s funny, obviously.”

Ronan looked betrayed.

Adam laughed. “You get so mad! Just because I’m not a Gryffindor! But you refuse to admit you’re annoyed because that would make you a giant geek! Which you are!”

Ronan pouted, releasing Adam’s leg and crossing his arms. “You’re not fucking me while wearing those.”

Adam scrambled to take them off. “Fine, whatever. I was only doing it to see how long it would take you to mention it. This seems like as good a stopping point as any.”

Ronan rolled his eyes as Adam balled the Gryffindor socks up and threw them at Ronan’s face. “There. Your precious house pride is intact. Now then,” He crawled up the bed, bracketing Ronan’s still grumpy face with his hands. “Since you’re already here in this wonderful bed,” he leaned down to kiss Ronan, encouraging him to stop pouting and loosen up, “and you’ve already invited me to fuck you,” he continued, leaning down for a longer kiss. “Do you mind if I slither in?”

Ronan’s groan and Adam’s laughter help them up from having sex for another twenty minutes and it was still totally worth it.

#This is based off of a real situation except my sister's boyfriend wears her Slytherin things when he's a Hufflepuff #and I'm the one that gets annoyed #The Raven Cycle #Pynch #Oops I wrote a thing #I didn't even read this before posting #I just needed to write and finish something #Maybe I'll write and finish another short thing tomorrow. We can only hope. #Jessie writes pynch fic