#or just malicious lmao but i do my best not to assume the worst

[izzy-b-hands]

London By Night, Chapter Four

Trouble has arrived in London, and Freddie and the reader (and Roger, since he’s trapped in this now as well, the poor thing just wanted a dinner party with his friends) must figure out how to deal with it. 

tw for mention of anxiety attacks, casual near-misgendering and misgendering of the reader (fun fact: based on how my own mum misgenders me! and I can never tell if she’s doing it maliciously or on accident, so that’s how it is in here as well!), and just like...stress. Lots of stress over dealing with a toxic family member. This chapter was cathartic and painful to write all at once, and if you’ve ever wondered what my mum can be like when she’s at her worst...well, here’s an example of it lmao. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

“Oh fuck no,” you whispered. “What is she doing here? How did she get here? She would have had to be on a flight not long after we talked to her, how is that possible, how long was she planning this-” 

Freddie cut you off with a quick kiss. “I know. And I would like to know all that as well. But for now, she’s here.” 

“I can help,” Roger offered, emerging from the bedroom. “Let me answer it.” 

“Roger,” you started. “I should do it, no one else should have to-” 

“What I’m hearing,” Roger interrupted gently. “Is that I should answer the door, and explain that you two are in the kitchen planning our dinner for the night. Right?” 

The lightbulb flashed on, and you nodded. “Yes. Dinner. Planning on how to deal with unexpected...dinner.” 

Freddie ushered you into the kitchen, and you both listened as Roger finally opened the front door. 

“Hello! How can I help you?” 

“I’m looking for my dau-my child,” your mother hurriedly corrected herself. “Sh-sorry. They should be staying here, I believe? With their friend.” 

“If you mean Y/N, and his boyfriend, Freddie,” Roger said, a hint of testiness in his voice. “Then yeah, you’ve got the right place. Otherwise, you might be mistaken.” 

“That’s what I meant,” your mother said, and you could hear the icy edge in her voice, and it made you shiver more than the cold rain all day ever had. 

“Well then. They’re currently working to figure out what we’re having for dinner. A little mini dinner party, it is. Myself, and them,” Roger continued. “Shall I let them know you stopped by?” 

“I need to speak with her...them...h-” your mother stammered. “Oh, you know who I mean.” 

“I know that there are three men in here, one that goes by the name of Y/N, and that he’s preoccupied at present,” Roger said. “Again, shall I let them know what hotel you’re at and they can call you in a while?” 

“I don’t have a hotel,” your mother replied. “I assumed a mother would be allowed to stay with her child.” 

“This is a tiny flat,” Roger chuckled. “I think they barely fit.” 

“And yet you’re here,” your mother chirped, robotically cheery. 

“Well, I’m only visiting, not staying the night,” Roger replied. 

“What do we do?” you whispered to Freddie. “I can’t send her away!” 

“No, we can’t,” Freddie muttered. “Let me go out and help him. You stay here.” 

He strode back out, and you listened as he intervened. 

“Hello! I didn’t think we’d be seeing you again so soon! Can I ask what brings you by?” Freddie was all charm, as if it was every day his boyfriend’s toxic mother stopped by unannounced. 

“I was worried,” she replied. “With Y/N being so far away, all alone.” 

“He’s not alone, he’s got me,” Freddie said, the charm dropping as his voice sharpened. 

“I know,” your mother said brightly. “But alone, without me.” 

You could feel the tension, hear the breath that Freddie took that let you know he was properly angry now, rightly offended enough that the ‘stiff upper lip’ was about to break and shatter all over your mother. 

“Well,” Freddie finally said, and the restraint was clear in his voice. “Why don’t you come in? There’s no guest room, but we have a couch you can use later, until I can get you a hotel room.” 

“Oh, I don’t want to put you to all that trouble,” your mother said. “I’ll just stay here.” 

Another slow, tense breath from Freddie. “And how long shall you be here?” 

She giggled, and your heart sank. 

“I was thinking at least a week. To make sure Y/N is settling in okay, maybe longer if he needs me more,” she said. “And I certainly don’t mind the vacation! Work was not pleased with me using so much time off, but luckily I work for such an understanding woman. She’s a mother too, she gets it.” 

“Delightful,” Freddie said, and you swore that you could see your breath on the freezing air his words generated. “Please. Make yourself at home.” 

“I’ll do my best,” your mother said. “But this is your home, not mine. Or anyone else’s.” 

You slipped to sit against the kitchen wall, fighting off the oncoming anxiety attack she was giving you. Part of you wanted to run out, screaming that this was your home, more than living with her ever had been, just to see the look on her face. The other part of you wanted to curl up and hide in a cabinet until she left, whenever that would be. 

“Where is my gi-child, anyway?” your mother asked. “Y/N? Come see me!” 

“You know, since you’re here, can I tell you what a lovely day we had with Y/N?” Roger interjected, and you tried to thank him telepathically for the stalling. 

Freddie was in the kitchen in a flash while they talked.

He knelt down in front of you, and took your hand. “I know you aren’t ready. But you know she’ll keep asking to see you. I’ll be right beside you, and as soon as I can, I’ll convince her to go to a hotel. I’ll pay for it, she won’t be able to argue with me.” 

You sighed shakily. “You say that, but she argues with everyone if they don’t give her the answer she wants.” 

“Lucky then that I’m more than willing to argue until I’m out of breath on your behalf,” Freddie said with a small smile. “I’ve got you. Let’s get this over with, and I’ll make up some excuse for us to go to bed as soon as dinner is over.” 

He helped you stand, and after a moment of deep breaths, you let him lead you to the living area. 

“Hi, mum,” you managed. 

She stood and wrapped you in a hug, and you awkwardly hugged back, watching as Roger and Freddie winced at the sight. 

“As I was saying,” Roger continued. “The Tate really is lovely, I think you’d love to visit it. Perhaps, you could take it in for a day, while Y/N and Freddie continue their preparations for the tour. After all, that’s not far off now.” 

“Y/N can take me there,” your mother said. “Isn’t that right?” 

“We could probably figure something out for that,” you said, yelling at yourself internally for not arguing, not fighting back, being the doormat once again for her to step on.

“We’ll see,” Freddie said. “Now, Y/N and I were going to get the takeaway for dinner...” 

“Yes,” Roger agreed, and caught your gaze as he nodded, and you knew he was on for whatever plan there was to deal with your mother. You wanted to thank him then for being such a good and steady ally, but there was no way to do it surreptitiously. “And I can tell you about the rest of our day! And the city, of course.” 

“You could come with,” you tried to offer, but Roger shook his head. 

“No, let me stay so your mum isn’t here alone,” Roger said, and you fought back a shudder as you realized what damage she could do exploring the place if she was left alone. You hadn’t thought of that right away. “We’re having a wonderful conversation anyway, aren’t we?” 

Your mother shrugged. “I suppose we are. We’ll wait here for you, but be fast! I’ve got so much to update you on about home!” 

“I’ve barely been gone,” you laughed nervously. “What could have possibly happened since then?” 

“You would know if you were there!” your mother smiled. “But no worries, I will tell you all the details!” 

You nodded, and tried not to show how eager you were to leave as you pulled on your shoes. Freddie had his on already along with a jacket, and he tossed you one of his looser, bigger coats before you walked out. 

You made it outside, and down the street, and into an empty alley before you pulled him to you in a hard kiss. 

“Sorry,” you murmured. “Lot of energy, needed to get it out, and wanted to do it in a good way, and I like kissing you, and I hate this situation with every bone in my body, and-” 

He held you tightly, and kissed you back just as hard. “I know. It’s okay. We’re going to get through this. Before you know it, she’ll be gone.” 

“But she’ll be in the city,” you couldn’t help but whine. “And she’ll want to spend every day with me, and will be horrible if I don’t jump to her whims and wants, and I won’t let her be horrible to you.” 

“But you’ll let her be horrible to you,” Freddie said softly. “And I can’t allow that. So we’ll figure it out, together. To start, we get through dinner tonight. Tomorrow, I convince her that she’ll love how fancy the hotels are here, and set her up in a nice one-” 

“Freddie, the money!” you interrupted, and he shook his head. 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s my money, I decide how I use it. And if I want to use to put some distance between us and your mother, then I feel that’s money well spent.” 

“I’ll pay you back,” you insisted. “We forgot to go and get my money changed after the museum anyway; I know you think I forgot, but I realized once we were in the cab, and I’ll pay you back for that ride as soon as my money is changed over.” 

“Y/N,” he murmured. “Please. I love you, I don’t mind spending money on you! You act like I’ve spent myself into poverty on your account, and I haven’t! And even if I had, that’s my choice!” 

You took a breath, and rested your head against his shoulder. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” Freddie said. “You mean well, I know you do. But there will be plenty of opportunities for you to spend money on me, if you so wish. For us to split expenses on some things. Please don’t weigh down your head with worries about the money, okay?” 

You nodded. “Dinner?” 

“Dinner,” he agreed. “No fussing about me paying for it, right?” 

“No fussing,” you said with a chuckle. “Where are we getting it from, anyway?” 

“A little place I know of,” Freddie said cryptically. “How is your mother in regards to Indian food?” 

“I don’t think she’s ever had it,” you replied. “If I’m honest with you, I haven’t ever either. We don’t have any restaurants that serve it back in my hometown.” 

“This will be a night of exploration for both of you then!” he declared, and led you down the street, around a few corners, down again, then up, until you were at a small restaurant. 

You let him order everything, you didn’t even know where to begin, but it all smelled good, and you trusted him. On the food, and on how to deal with your mother. You had no idea how he managed it, because you knew he had his own moments of fear and anxiety that could freeze him too. But then something like this came up; he radiated an air that suggested everything would be fine, no matter what happened, and that he was in control, even when it seemed he couldn’t possibly have any control over the situation.

You were able to relax as you helped him carry the food home, careful now as the temperature dropped and the sidewalks for once grew a bit slippery from the last rainfall. It was cold, but if you’d had the choice, you would have happily picnicked with him outside the whole night (after saving Roger from your mum, of course, so he could join you.) 

“Ready?” Freddie asked as you reached the door to his flat. 

You nodded. “Let’s get this over with.” 

“There’s my man,” Freddie smiled, and kissed you quickly before opening the door. 

“You know, you’ve got a lot of nerve,” Roger was shouting, and you winced. 

“Ah, so it’s all going well then,” Freddie said calmly as he helped you inside. “Here, I’ll deal with them. You take the food to the kitchen.” 

You set the bags of food carefully on the floor so you could take off your shoes, and listened as you did. 

“I have nerve?! You have nerve telling me how to be a mother!” your mother didn’t often shout, she usually didn’t reach that point with most people, they’d give in to her well before that. But she was loud now, and you pitied your neighbors. 

“All I’m saying,” Roger huffed. “Is my mother wouldn’t have followed me across an ocean after I’d barely been gone from home. She’d trust me to be on my own, to be with friends and loved ones-” 

Your mother scoffed. “What a mother she sounds like.” 

“Don’t you fucking insult my mother!” Roger sounded like the lion that represented him on the Queen crest, the way he roared, but you couldn’t blame him. “If she knew about this, and I fully intend to tell her, she’d be calling to give you a tongue-lashing herself!”  

“We have food!” Freddie interrupted. “Let’s eat, we can debate more later. Have you had Indian food before, ma’am? I think you’ll like it; Y/N mentioned  he’ll be trying it for the first time tonight as well! I think that’s just lovely, don’t you? Travel lets you explore so much, even with food!” 

He was clearly stalling for you, and you picked up your pace, rushing to the kitchen to unpack the food and bring it out to the coffee table, that was just big enough for what you figured were the main dishes. 

“Thank you, Y/N,” Freddie said warmly, and gestured for you to sit beside him on the floor. On the couch, your mother and Roger sat tensely, eyeing one another even as they dished up. 

“I should apologize,” Roger muttered. “I don’t like to shout, I am sorry for that.” 

“As you should be,” your mother replied, and you bit your tongue, willing her to just be quiet and not poke at Roger more, who had done more than his fair share in dealing with her at this point, as far as you were concerned. 

He glared, but tucked into the food instead. “Thank you for dinner, Freddie. It’s good. The usual place?” 

Freddie nodded. “Y/N? What do you think?” 

You nodded. “Good. Different, but I like it.” 

“Hm,” your mother tutted. “Maybe it isn’t so bad, your being out here. You know, Y/N never wanted to try new foods back at home. If this gets you to do that, then that’s good.” 

“I did try some things,” you protested weakly. “But you were worried about wasting food-” 

“As you should be too,” your mother interrupted. “Now, Freddie was nice enough to buy you dinner, so don’t waste any of this, alright?” 

You wanted the floor to open up and drop you into the core of the earth, until Freddie’s hand moved from his silverware to find yours under the table. 

“I’m not worried about that,” Freddie said, as calm and soft as a summer breeze. “It’ll be nice to have left overs for the rest of the days we’re here, and this should get us through a good few of them.” 

Your mother nodded, but you caught her look to Freddie. You couldn’t tell if he had seen it and was ignoring it, or simply hadn’t seen it at all, as he ate one-handed, his other hand still in yours. 

Roger finished up, and gave you a pained look. “I ought to be heading home. I’m sorry to be leaving early-” 

“You’ve spent most of the day with them, haven’t you?” your mother asked sharply. 

“We had planned for a longer night together, but we’ll have to save that for another time,” Roger continued testily. “I need to call my mother yet tonight. But I’ll call you guys tomorrow, okay?” 

His eyes met yours at his last sentence, and you nodded gratefully. 

“Thanks again to both of you for the good time today, and you have a good rest of your night,” Roger continued, ignoring your mother as if she’d disappeared into thin air. He leaned down to rest a hand on your shoulder, then gathered his things.

And then he was gone, and the tiny flat felt somehow even smaller, like it was constricting you to death. You tried not to squeeze too hard at Freddie’s hand, but it was that or you knew you’d bolt from the room, and you weren’t about to force him to be alone with her. 

“I should go get the rest,” Freddie said gently, and squeezed your hand back before he got up. “I think you’ll both enjoy the dessert especially. Not quite as sweet as what you gave me back in your hometown, but sweet enough!” 

He stepped into the kitchen, and you had to force yourself not to hold your breathe and count the seconds until he was back. You could feel your mother’s eyes on you, watching as you finished the last of the food on your plate, wiping it clean of curry and sauce with some naan, purely to spite her but also because the naan was rather addictive. 

“You seem happy,” she said. 

“I am,” you replied. “Very. Happier than I think I’ve ever been before. I love Freddie, I love the city. It’s all wonderful.” 

“You just got here,” she said. “And you haven’t known him for that long. Weren’t you supposed to have your own apartment out here?” 

“We’re working on that, the previous tenants need to move out first,” you replied. “In the meantime, Freddie is letting me stay with him.” 

“And it’s made this place all the better for it,” Freddie said as he made his way back to the table, setting down the dessert on the table. He’d taken it out of the container from the restaurant, and plated it beautifully on a platter from his china set, and the effort he was making to impress your impossible-to-impress mother was both sweet, and made you want to weep. “If they can’t move out, then Y/N is more than welcome to stay here with me, as long as he likes. And if not, then I’ll visit him at his flat each day, or he can come visit me.” 

“Sounds like you’d rather Y/N moved in with you permanently,” your mother muttered. “That seems a bit fast.” 

“If Y/N is comfortable moving in with me, then I am happy to have him do that,” Freddie said. “If he’d rather have his own place, then I’ll help him get one, and visit him. I want whatever he wants, whatever will make him the happiest.” 

His last sentence was a loaded one, and you fought to keep your breathing normal, to calm your racing heart, as you waited for your mother’s reaction. 

“That’s what I want as well,” she finally said. “Within reason, of course. Y/N has a tendency to shoot for the stars, but sometimes forgets that we can’t always reach them, you know.” 

“Lucky then that I would move the stars for him if I could, and if he so desired,” Freddie said coldly. “I think I’m full. How about you, Y/N?” 

You managed a nod. “I’m tired.” 

“Me too. I think we’ll get ready for bed,” Freddie said. “Y/N, why don’t you go rest in the bedroom. I’ll show your mother the washroom, and make sure she can get settled for the night, and after she’s done, we’ll take our turns.” 

You nodded again, and started to grab at empty plates, but Freddie waved your hands away, and motioned to the bedroom. 

You took the hint, and walked towards it, relief at being away from her washing over you the closer you got. 

“Y/N,” your mother said. “Sleep well! I love you.” 

Sweat dripped down your back, and you wanted to curl into a ball on the floor, to break down. 

Instead, you turned, and smiled as best you could. “Love you too, Mum.” 

#text post #LeeH writes #queen band fic #freddie mercury x reader #freddie mercury x male reader

[atopearth]

Subarashiki Hibi (Wonderful Everyday Down the Rabbit-Hole) Part 2 - It’s My Own Invention

It’s My Own Invention So…this is Takuji’s perspective and story? I guess it’s unsurprising that he had actually been living in the sewers for months. Hearing about the physical abuse he endured from his mother all throughout his life, I guess you can kinda see why he left his sister and mum there. I wonder if he considers his mum “dead” because she’s not “alive” like she used to be. And I guess he feels that her abuse at least made it seem like she cared for him, against now where she has feelings for nothing? Unless this has a different turn of events from rabbit hole and his mother is really dead? This Yuuki that literally nearly burned Takuji by dousing lighter fluid on his books and part of his clothes isn’t actually the “other Yuki” is it? Like, I remember Zakuro talking about Yuki being in a different “form” or something in the beginning and that was the one she liked and owed? So then maybe the things that happened in the rabbit hole ending was like that because of this Yuuki? He’s literally bullying and extorting Takuji for money. Shiroyama (the guy who died in rabbit hole) bullied Takuji as well?

I can see why Takuji wouldn’t be able to trust Zakuro so easily even though she seems nice. I always find it so terrible when someone puts all their courage into writing someone a love letter and yet the person who receives it shows the whole class and laughs at the person who confessed for being so gross. It’s like, with stuff like this, how do you expect anyone to have courage to tell other people their feelings these days? It’s such a horrible thing to do. I find it really cute that he ended up trusting her and helped her get away from Shiroyama etc by actually exposing his secret base (under the pool) to her. If this was a nice and normal story, it would have been the start of a cute relationship huh? Omggg at Takuji actually getting pervy creepy lolll, like c'mon dude, this ain’t your eroge, do you really think Zakuro is going to show you her panties?!?

Kimika Ending Hmmm, so Takuji is the administrator for that underground message board website for their school huh~ I never knew the Wakatsuki sisters had a brother! Is he dead? Is that why they’re so attached to Yuki since she was kinda like their saviour and big brother to them when they were young? I feel kinda bad for judging Takuji for everything he thought about towards Zakuro, like, his thoughts and stuff are still dirty and wrong for sure, but I feel like it’s also his form of a coping mechanism to deal with people he’s unfamiliar with. By alluding them to eroge and other stuff he’s familiar with, he gets more comfortable with talking or whatever, I assume. But yeah, he’s probably the way he is because of all that bullying… Shiroyama and the guys bullying him, and now Yuuki bullying him, I can’t believe he’s been able to endure all this for at least a year… Let’s just say….when Mamiya talked about the bullying leading to sexual assault, I really didn’t expect them to force him to steal Zakuro’s school uniform, wear it, make him masturbate to it, AND THEN even force Mamiya to give two of them blowjobs like omg…. That was so uncomfortable to watch/read, I felt so terrible and disgusted for Mamiya because those two obviously enjoyed it and are probably into guys (or just really want some action) but just couldn’t show it in front of the others. But omg, Mamiya must be so traumatised because I am right now. I think the worst was that Mamiya had to try his best to pleasure them with his tongue just so it’d be over sooner, it was just so terrible to see and think about… And yet even though Yuuki “saved” Mamiya from them, he was actually an even more terrible bully (violence wise and extortion of money wise)…

I wonder what’s wrong with Takuji though… Is he high? It seems like instead of reading his mind, he’s probably saying stuff without realising it, so Kagami is just answering him, and he thinks that she’s reading his mind? Or is there actually something wrong with the world itself? Omggg it was pretty scary when Zakuro’s corpse “appeared” at his hideout and then it zoomed in on her staring at the reader like, please don't😨😫😫 What I’m most curious about though is that scene Takuji saw (in his head?) of three Rirurus arguing about saving the world and being clouded by fear etc. It seems to insinuate that that is what happened before Zakuro and her two friends before they fell to their deaths, but what did they mean by having a near death experience will get their previous world’s powers back? Since Takuji would have died if he stayed standing there on the street right where they fell, does that mean he’s got some sort of powers back after that “near death experience”?

Tbh though, I really relate to how Takuji feels when he goes to class, the fact that you need to comfort yourself that you’re not standing out, no one notices you, just go to your desk and breeze through this, no one else matters, they’re just other people that you don’t need to care about and they don’t care about you etc. That’s honestly how I survived most of my classes in uni, by always telling myself that I didn’t need to worry about anything, just keep to myself and it’ll be okay. It’s kinda saddening to see it from Takuji’s perspective, but honestly that was the only way I knew how to survive back in the day, and to an extent these feelings still pop up within me… Except, it seems like Takuji is going through an emotional breakdown, he’s already been experiencing “hearing problems” but now they seem to be getting worse and it seems like it’s showing him descending to some kinda insanity after all the things he had experienced. And I guess considering how Takuji can hear people after he calms himself down, it does seem like his selective hearing is more like a coping mechanism to deal with his inability to be around others. And if it’s like that, I can’t help but understand how he descended into the idea that he should just kill everyone and then they won’t be able to talk about him or judge him anymore, and they won’t be able to bully him anymore. And they deserve it anyway is such a common thing to think of to justify your thoughts tbh, it’s kinda scary how relatable it kinda is. 

Hmmm, wait, is it possible that Yuuki/Tomosane is actually Takuji himself? He’s always thought that Yuki is cool for being able to beat up Shiroyama and them enough that they would avoid going to the roof because of her, so what if this Tomosane is just a manifestation of everything violent and malicious inside Takuji, and he appears whenever Takuji is about to break from nervousness or shame or whatever? I can see why Takuji would start to be so consumed in his own made up world that he’s starting to think it’s reality though, I mean, he’s practically been living like that for a while now, it just never really overtook him as it did now… It’s crazy how delusional one’s thoughts can get when you start imagining up all these things thinking they’re real, but it’s understandable why he would choose Zakuro as his target for his delusions. One, she’s dead already so the real one isn’t gonna wake him up, two, she was being bullied like he was so he felt an unspeakable connection with her that only they understood, three, she knew about his secret hideout, the only place he felt comfortable in. So by associating all those things together, she kinda becomes his “comfortable place” and a sort of relief from the rest of the world that doesn’t care about him, and of course if the world doesn’t care about him, he has no reason to care about it either… Yeahhh….I honestly didn’t need that detailed “sex” scene Takuji just had with Zakuro’s desk, like yes, I get that he’s going nuts for her, no I honestly didn’t need that to be described to me as he imagined the desk as Zakuro… LMAO when Takuji referred to the desk as a tsundere when it didn’t open it’s heart and talk back to him.

I’m not surprised that the words on Zakuro’s desk about the world ending on July 20 would break Takuji even further. He’s been tormented by his mother all his childhood and she was crazy about the idea that the world would return to the sky on that day, so it’s hard to not be shaken by the fact that such news is appearing again in front of him. I wonder if these are all really countless failed worlds that God has made as Takuji said… When Takuji talks about him being vulgarity itself because his life at home and his life in his base is so drastically different, where at home he tries his best to live an immaculate and pure life and yet when he’s at his base he masturbates to all kinds of eroge, it really makes me think that Tomosane is definitely himself, the vulgarity he tries to separate from the regular him but can never throw away because it’s such an integral part of him and of his escape from reality. He allows his vulgarity to beat him up all the time because he thinks he’s filthy, but at the same time he can’t take it because he doesn’t think he deserves this. For a moment, in the beginning, I thought maybe Zakuro could somehow help him (if she didn’t die) but I guess I kinda underestimated the fact that it isn’t just the bullying that caused him to become like this, it all started from his mother traumatising him and him wanting to believe that everything she did was because she loved him, so then he can feel better about it all…

Dang, it’s pretty weird to see Yuki from a third person perspective and in her uniform as well! She looks nice~ Lmao at Yuki telling Takuji her name and saying she can’t believe he doesn’t remember people in his own class, like c'mon Yuki, you’re exactly the same! I wonder if Ayana is the “God” of these countless worlds? Is she “someone” that continues to live on in each and every world watching over time pass, everyone she likes dying over and over again as she continues to live? I mean, when she talked to Takuji about eternal life where even if what he wants is for his happy life to continue forever, that’s never gonna happen because people die and you’ll be stuck with yourself and lose your mind as you float endlessly in a world with no one else, so it makes me wonder whether Ayana is either like creating all these worlds to try and keep experiencing that wonderful everyday each time even if it’s limited? Well…that discussion with the drawing on his wall aka “Magical Girl Riruru” was sure long winded and confusing, it just seems that after all that, he’s convinced himself that he’s kinda like God, and thus the saviour of this world and he needs to return everyone to their rightful place in the sky, so even though what he’s about to do may seem to be causing death in this world, he believes that he’s actually “saving” them. Quite a common twisted concept, because regardless of whether it’s true or not, we’ll never really know whether it’s true or not, and the way these people end up “dying” definitely doesn’t feel like he’s saving them… I find it so saddening to hear more details about Megu and Satoko bullying Zakuro and how careless the teacher was to give permission for them to create a club that only allowed them to have their own space to continue this bullying. Hmm and the doll thing that led to Zakuro nearly falling down and dying when her precious doll was thrown over the fence… But I see, Kimika is the girl that was bullied until they decided to bully Zakuro instead, and it seems that Kimika “bullies” her as well because she can’t go against the others and doesn’t want to go back to her previous life of getting bullied all the time, yet she can’t help but care about Zakuro since she’s so kind despite her feeling like a “traitor” to Zakuro. I wonder how Shiroyama’s death will be related to all this, it can’t be a random coincidence of him just falling off after getting high from drugs, right? Sometimes I wonder if Zakuro put some kinda drugs or something in Takuji’s hideout before she died and that hastened all his delusions or something.

Tbh, now that Yuki is talking about cognitive bias and saying that we’re only linking things to have more meaning than there actually is because of the frequency of events affecting us personally, it makes me think maybe Shiroyama’s death was as simple as him getting high and falling off the building… Although I’m not a fan of how Kimika got “converted” into believing in Takuji as the saviour, I can understand though, she’s always felt guilty towards Zakuro for betraying her and only seemed to lash out at her all the time because she couldn’t forgive herself when Zakuro was so nice to her. Ummm, if Yasuko is saying the fake Mamiya told her the prophecy won’t occur…does that mean Mamiya is actually Yuki? Are they two sides of the same coin kinda thing? Same person split in two? Like how Zakuro said in the the previous routes about her being who she was looking for this whole time but she’s in a different form? Hmmm.. now I wonder if this world is Yuki’s and Mamiya’s world and the two of them are fighting to wake up from all this or continue the wonderful everyday or something lol. Sometimes I wonder if I’m thinking too much about all this, and really, everyone is just on drugs and seeing everything in a crazy way loll. And yeah…I honestly didn’t need to see how crazy Kiyokawa got tbh. And yahhh, although Kimika is crazy with that military(?) knife and ready to kill anyone at any moment, her expressions and everything are just so adorable! I honestly thought it was pretty nice how Kimika and Takuji spent time together on the roof breaking the fence, making “music” with the broken poles and just living in their own little world. I’m wondering..since it seems like Takuji is reliant on the bell ringing and Kimika to determine what time and day it is, is time really passing as he thinks it is? Is Kimika lying or is the world distorted?

I knew Kimika could never really forgive herself over Zakuro always being nice to her and never blaming her for the bullying, but it never clicked to me that the reason why Kimika was relieved after talking to Takuji near the pool that time was because if Zakuro’s curse is true like he says, then that means, Zakuro finally got mad at her and knows how terrible of a person she actually is, and because of that, she can finally feel “better” about the whole thing and feel more like an equal alongside Zakuro since she’s treating her more like a person now. In the end, even though Zakuro never intended for her to feel like that, it couldn’t be helped that her good intentions hurt Kimika more than if she just blatantly hated her for everything. Btw, it was crazy to think of everyone jumping “to the end sky” by ending their lives jumping from the roof, like can you imagine the amount of bodies…. I’m not surprised that Kimika thinks the only way to recompense Zakuro for everything is for her to die herself because death itself is the only thing that has the same value with death. In a way, although Takuji kinda got lost a bit with the end sky stuff, in the end, both Kimika and Takuji wanted to do the same thing by involving all these people and leading them to their deaths. They just wanted to kill everyone that was either involved in Zakuro’s bullying and thus her death, and all the bystanders that knew and did nothing about it. They all just wanted to do what they could for her. To get revenge for her on this school and this world that never cared for victims of bullying like them. I knew it was Kimika that sent the messages instead of Takuji (when he forgot), she was the only plausible possibility haha, and the only person who would probably want Senagawa dead so much. Honestly, Kimika’s words really touched me at the end, I knew she really liked Takuji, but I didn’t expect her to tell him that she was her only regret, that she was never scared of dying until she fell in love with him. And how she wanted at least him to live, and for herself to be the last sacrifice… I’m so proud of Takuji though, he legit jumped with her and held onto her, just like what she always wanted, she really just wanted a hug from him, and she finally got that. I think this was the best decision Takuji made in this whole route tbh. I mean, there was nothing left for him after this, so really this was the only proper choice, but I’m glad he did, because it made Kimika so touched and happy in her last moments to be embraced by him…

Overall, although I really enjoyed seeing Takuji’s perspective alongside Kimika’s “story” (especially the ending), the mid to latter half of the story was definitely quite draggy. Especially with the Kiyokawa stuff that I don’t really think was necessary to get the point across of how crappy things were going down. Otherwise, I think I enjoyed it more than the previous endings etc since I feel like it explored more of people’s thoughts, emotions, actions and how twisted things can become for people like Takuji who have been abused their whole life. Zakuro was used more as a plot device to incite different reactions for Takuji and Kimika and I liked that because it kinda shows how easy it can be to lose it once something “breaks”, causing this whole repercussion of events. On another note, I think “Mahou Shoujo Riruru-chan” and her voice is imprinted into my mind now after all that repetition lmao.

Invention Ending HAHAHA omg, I can’t believe Takuji really crossed the line and asked Zakuro to show him her panties. Yes, totally not sexual harassment, you just want her secret to exchange with yours about the hideout, yep totally, what a fair transaction. What’s the difference between him and those other bullies?! Oh okay, I thought it definitely must be a delusion when he started getting the camera out lmao, but yeah his imagination sure took it to a whole new level LOL. I’m honestly sooo tired of all the unnecessary R rated scenes and CGs, it adds nothing to the story and I have to like super speed skim through them tbh lolll. It was interesting to see Zakuro’s corpse walking around the school, and for her table to say she was was Zakuro and was looking for her body…

So it seems like Yuki, Tomosane and Takuji are like the three gods of this world all maintaining the role as Creator, Harmonizer and Destroyer, and these roles are interchangeable between them alongside the different perspectives and different routes we’ll see? Not surprised that Tomosane is the supposed destroyer role but I wonder if they’re all like manifestations of some person’s mind or something then, Tomosane seems adamant on the idea that he’s the closest one to whoever that person or thing is. Tomosane is actually the brother of the Wakatsuki sisters? I never expected that until they appeared on the rooftop… I was wondering if it was a good idea for Takuji to stab Tomosane, guess not after all, since it seems like they probably are all the same entity and if one dies, they all die? I wonder what the roles of the Wakatsuki sisters are though, why do they seem to know so many things? Do they know that Yuki, Tomosane and Takuji are like the creators of this world and thus the creators of them? Or is it something else? It definitely wasn’t nice to know how Kagami’s death went down… Takuji obviously wasn’t in his right mind (I guess he never is) to think and see Kagami laughing at him when she was obviously in so much pain, I think the worst part when they practically cleaved her limb to limb and Tsukasa had to watch everything..

On the other hand, I guess Kimika got to die without regrets this time around since she ended up doing it with Takuji and even snatched a kiss off him. However, he definitely didn’t view her any more than a good servant even though he was kinda suspicious of her, so I guess her ending would probably still be a better ending for her instead tbh. And everything else unfolds as it did from Yuki’s perspective…

Overall, I’m not sure what to think (as usual). I feel like we’re getting more answers now at least but it’s still kinda difficult to sit through a lot of the R rated scenes tbh, it’s so uncomfortable lol, like, I don’t need to see it!! Hahaha, but I guess it’s just me… I think for me, those scenes just detract from me focusing on the plot tbh and they’re pretty boring scenes since it’s mostly noises and the usual stuff zzz. Anyway, at least it seems to imply now that Yuki, Tomosane and Takuji are all one in the same (I assume) with them all having different agendas because they all possess or lack the memories to know what their goals and purposes are. Although Tomosane seems like the Destroyer, I feel like Takuji was more of that role in this ending, but I guess if Tomosane and the rest never treated him like that, Takuji might have been a bit more sane.

#Subarashiki Hibi #subahibi

[pinkglitteringdemondildos]

Honestly I'm still real big mad about this whole thing but I'm trying to like. Not be. I keep telling myself "you don't have to forgive them but it's better that you forget them". Cuz honestly it is. I have no idea how I'm going to spend another month living with people who don't respect me at all and only care about each other.

In hindsight, I should have known this is how it was gonna play out and I kind of expected it but I didn't think it would happen this fast and that they would openly just. Do what they did. My dad actually wants me to take them to small claims court to get my wasted money back. And speaking from the heart at this moment, I fucking would. But I know in the long run that it wouldn't do anything except force me to see them more than I want to and that would just make me angrier.

So idk! Maybe I'll post what exactly is going on sometime so that y'all understand why I've been making so many emotional posts lately but I really don't have the heart to do it right now. I lost two of the last irl people in my life in less than a week and learned that they didn't even care as much about me as I did about them and, frankly, it kinda crushed me. I feel betrayed and used and ignored and just. I feel awful. And the worst part is knowing that I will NEVER recieve an apology. Ever. Not for the money they lost me. Not for the shitty behavior and toxicity. Not for the shit they put me through. Well, I'll get an apology from one of them but not the one who should actually be apologizing. I mean, not to be entitled but in this situation I really think I deserve an apology from both of them (this is probably the only situation where I don't entirely blame myself, so you know it's bad). One of which feels half hearted and forced and one I'll never get. So it really is better for me to move on and forget I ever spent time with these people. They hurt me so much that I don't even want to bother to remember the few genuine good times we had. I just wish I had never met them. I wish I had gone to different high school. I wish I hadn't reconnected with one of them in college. And I wish that after our first fight I just left them both and never fucking looked back. I wish I never told them anything about myself. This is gonna sound REALLY cliche but through this experience I learned who my real friends are. The ones who let me rant and cry to them and didn't say "I told you so" (I'm pretty sure one of them wants to tell me that really fucking badly lmao) but instead tried their best to console me and promised me that they'd come down or give me a place to sleep for a while if things really went sour (which they did, and they are still going). I'm not gonna lie and say this didn't fuck up my already existent trust issues that I have regarding friendships but it sure made some of the bonds I had with other people stronger. And it showed me who to really appreciate.

Now, at this point I'm not really sure about the future. I know that I am moving out as soon as possible. I'm learning how to break the lease tomorrow, so hopefully it won't be too much. If I can't find another roommate situation, I'll be moving back in with my father and his girlfriend, and as shitty as that sounds, it's actually a relief from the literal hell this has become. Hopefully from there I'll be able to get back on my feet and find out what to do with my life. That's being positive. To be honest, the urge to commit suicide is still there because I frankly don't even know where to start rebuilding my life. It seems like I'll never have what I want at this point and that that's the best way out. But, being 50/50 is a lot better than the 99 killing myself/1 not killing myself stage I was in earlier. I still don't know if I'm going to a hospital, most likely not because of the cost, but it's on the table.

I know that as for my situation for the next month, I know I'm going to be very lonely. They only really care about each other and are only going to spend time with each other while I'm stuck in my room with not much to do. I'm no longer looking for a job here since I will definitely NOT be staying in this place and am going to move at least 30-45 minutes away so I'm going to be pretty much doing nothing for a month. So, my mood will probably go farther down because I don't really handle isolation that well and I don't see a way to avoid it. So looking into the future, I see myself being pretty miserable for the next 30 days. Not much I can do about it. I might couch surf around a few friends to get out of this place but we'll see.

One thing I have ultimately decided is that I will be cutting all contact with both of them once I am moved out. For one of them, this was an extremely easy choice. This is not the first time they have treated me this way (though it's the first time it's gone to this extent). Truth be told, my attitude towards them completely changed overnight. I no longer tolerate their toxic behavior, as well as the fact that I don't care about their opinion of me. They can hate me and die mad about it for all I care now. That's what you get when you treat someone shittily enough for such a long time. I'm really sick of their garbage attitude, toxic and entitled behavior, and rude comments. In fact, I'm 100% sure that if I killed myself right now tonight, that they would assume it was because of them and pity themselves for that fact. Now, for the other, it's harder. They didn't do anything with malicious intent, but they still caused me a lot of problems and emotional instability because of their enabling behavior towards the other person. I think they still want to be friends (I'm not sure at this point anymore) but I think it's best for me that I cut all ties with both of them because of their close proximity to each other. Also, I would never be able to openly talk to them or physically see them ever again. So. I don't think it's worth it. An old mutual friend of ours agrees with me that this is the best course of action, and in solidarity with me has also expressed her clear interest in breaking ties with them as well (she was the first person I went to when this happened, as she is the closest thing I have to a best friend). As petty as it sounds, knowing that she would drop them for what they did to me was.....relieving and kind of nice to hear. Of course, I told her to make her own decision based on her experiences. I think she has already made the decision to drop the main roommate who was to blame. And as for the other roommate, I can't say where her opinions totally lie, but I know they are not totally positive. Same as mine. As it turns out, her experiences with the main problematic roommate have also been very, very taxing and not all that good. So I'm glad to hear that I'm not the reason that their friendship is on the decline.

Probably the worst part of this experience is knowing that neither of them will learn from this. One is still going to be stubborn and unfair and the other is still going to enable their partner to the ends of the Earth. Neither will suffer true repercussions. The worst thing they'd have to go through would be losing me as a friend, but as I mentioned earlier, it appears that they didn't really care about me in the end and they will do just fine by themselves. So, ironically, the only one who learned anything was me, and the lesson was "even people you call friends could fuck you over without a second thought." Good lesson, huh?

So I guess that's what's on my mind. I was kinda too angry to sleep but I think writing all of this down has helped me calm down and sort my thoughts. Hopefully, from here on, things get better. I don't know for sure if they will, but let's just say I'm a lot more hopeful than I was before.

#personal #i unfollowed and blocked both of them on here #and will be doing the same with other social medias and messaging apps #it's kind of freeing knowing ill never have to see them again after this #idk im just trying to put myself in a better place right now #and writing out my honest feelings on a social platform has made me feel better

[96percentdone]

99 Oumasai. Thanks!

More despair fever! Did you miss it? This one takes place immediately after the first I actually had to retcon some shit mentioned in later installments for this lmao. The cons of this not being a planned fic or anything.

As this is despair fever verse, I’m going to link the rest! (Start. Here. Three. Four. Five. Six. Bad End).

99. “I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!”

Ouma-kun didn’t eat that much after their conversation in the dining hall. Saihara can’t tell if he overgorged himself on sweets, or if he’s just too sick, or maybe he’s emotionally overwhelmed, but regardless they head back to the dorms to come up with some kind of plan.

The walk itself is quiet. Saihara glances ahead at Ouma-kun. Ouma-kun walks forward, back straight, running his fingers against walls or anything he can find, but Saihara doesn’t miss the way his hand occasionally flattens as if to keep him propped up. Even after eating his legs aren’t steady. Well, he did hide in his room for two days.

The door to the dormitories opens with a weak pull, and Saihara follows Ouma-kun in and up the stairs. “Your room then?” It’s less a question and more a confirmation.

Ouma-kun spins on his heel towards him, wobbling just a little too far forward and straightens out with a shrug. “Might as well since you’ve cornered me anyway!” And then he turns back to the door, lock-picking tools in hand, and gets to work. Lockpicking…? Does Ouma-kun’s distrust go this far he won’t use his key?

But the door clicks open, and Ouma-kun flips the lights on expertly weaving his way to his bed. And it really is weaving. Ouma-kun’s room is a chaotic labyrinth of boxes, evidence, and papers strewn across the floor with no care for the concept of walking. Saihara enters balancing on tip-toes managing to make his way to the chair and sits.

Ouma-kun is flopped on the bed blankly gazing at the ceiling. “Sooooo…” he flips onto his stomach and props his chin in his hands, watching Saihara with expectant eyes. “What’s your brilliant plan detective? How do you plan to catch the ringleader and end the killing game?”

Saihara furrows his brow with a frown. He didn’t actually have a plan for this. His goal for today was to confront Ouma-kun to find out what he’s up to, but afterward …nothing. What could he expect from that conversation? That Ouma-kun’s just messing with them for fun? Maybe he really is malicious? Maybe he just doesn’t know how to cooperate properly so he behaves like this and there was no plan. But that didn’t happen. He wants to end the killing game, and it’s as much of a surprise as it is natural. Like a puzzle piece you didn’t expect to fit, but once it’s in the picture makes more sense.

“I didn’t have a plan.” Saihara avoids Ouma-kun’s eyes by staring at the inner tube on the floor. “Besides my last plan…didn’t exactly work out.” Akamatsu-san’s corpse still hangs in his mind.

Ouma-kun sits up and sighs through pursed lips. “You sure make grand promises for someone who has no plan.”

“I never said I had a plan.”

“I know.” Ouma-kun sighs yet again, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. “Well, we definitely can’t plan around that library door. The ringleader super knows we’re aware of it now.”

“Yeah,” Saihara agrees quietly, leaning forward in the chair and pressing a hand to his mouth in thought. The room falls into silence. What exactly can they do? They have no leads or clues, the door won’t work anymore, and Monokuma hasn’t presented an opportunity they can play off of. The best they can do is try and force a slip-up and work from there. But how?

“Well,” Ouma-kun breaks the silence, swinging his feet back and forth, “what if I stick to my plan, but you and I investigate together in secret? The investigation might be a lot more successful if we work together. And I make a good distraction, don’t I?” Ouma-kun wears a playful grin, and Saihara only just realizes how much he missed seeing it.

“No,” Saihara says, straightening back out and returning Ouma-kun’s gaze. He’s already gotten this far in getting Ouma-kun to admit to his true intentions, having him stick to his original plan with a minor twist just feels like a waste. “I’d rather not resort to that unless we have to.”

“Do you have a better plan?” Ouma-kun counters. His grin isn’t gone but his expression is pointed. As if he knows Saihara doesn’t.

“I just…” Saihara grips his pants sleeve tightly with his hands, “there has to be a better plan that doesn’t involve you villainizing yourself.” Ouma-kun’s plan while effective is cruel. He’d wear a black and white mask of thorns, and everyone would stone him not realizing it’s a mask. In another universe, Saihara throws the first stone. That can’t happen here. “Do you really want everyone to assume the worst of you? Momota-kun and Harukawa-san already kind of…” he doesn’t finish that. Ouma-kun doesn’t need to hear the words they’ve said.

For a moment, Ouma-kun doesn’t say anything, only gazes at Saihara with a blank expression. His eyes bore right into Saihara’s soul. Then he shrugs. “I don’t really care what they think. If what they said or thought meant anything, I wouldn’t have this as a plan, right?” It’s right here that Saihara realizes just how deep Ouma-kun’s innate distrust goes. It is the base in the foundation of his plan, cracked and unhealthy, and rooted in every move he makes.

“Well maybe you should,” Saihara doesn’t back down, even if the fabric in his hands is so taut it could tear. Ouma-kun looks ready to say something, but Saihara isn’t finished. “Your plan would have isolated you. Possibly forever if the ringleader just let you take over. You could have lived the rest of your life alone and hated. Is that really what you want?”

There is no answer. Ouma-kun’s mouth opens as if he wants to say something, and closes immediately afterward. Whatever he wants to say, he can’t. He can’t lie, and so his silence speaks for him. Eventually, he leans back with a sigh, crossing his legs. “Does it matter? The plan’s been revised now, right? I have to account for you now, y’know?” He tilts his head, and makes eye-contact.

And now Saihara is at a loss for words. Ouma-kun is right. Even if his old plan is repurposed, it wouldn’t be the same because ultimately they have an alliance. Ouma-kun can wear that thorny mask and be stoned by day, but he’d have someone to talk to at night. It’s not a lonely path anymore. Saihara personally made sure of that himself.

“There isn’t any better plan either,” Ouma-kun continues, pushing himself back in his bed so only his feet hang off the mattress. “If I’m a sufficient distraction, the ringleader will have to do something to deal with me, and then we can strike. It’s a perfect means to force their hands!” He’s grinning again like he wasn’t just confronted with his own fears.

He’s right. Saihara knows all of that. This is an effective plan, and no one has to suffer, but it doesn’t sit right, like a full glass of water that’s hanging off the edge of the table. One wrong move and it will crash to the floor. But they don’t have any better plans, even if Saihara like it. “….Alright.” Ouma-kun claps his hands together to celebrate, and Saihara continues. “But…if I think of something better, we’re doing that instead, okay?”

“Fine,” Ouma-kun agrees. He’s still smiling but it smoother around the edges. “Nishishi~! Saihara-chan is suuuure invested in my reputation!”

Saihara shakes his head, and the grip on his pants relents. “It’s not just that. I think if I can encourage you to trust people just a little more, then that’s enough. That’s the reason your plan was like that, to begin with, right?” He offers hesitantly, unsure of his deductions.

“….yeah.” It’s a quiet response, and Ouma-kun flops back on his bed. “But y’know,” he folds his arms behind his head, staring up at the boring ceiling, “I never said I wouldn’t trust anyone.”

Saihara smiles, light and sincere. “I’m glad to hear that.” 

#hope.txt #oumasai #saiouma #Y'ALL I AM BACK #WITH THAT SUBTLE GAY SHIT #and the prompt bending but shhhhhhh #listen y'all love me anyway #anyway here we are back in despair fever verse #I haven't written it in a while #I hope you like it! #dangan ronpa #ndrv3 #my fic #despair fever verse #Anonymous

[aph-2p-headcanons]

Took me three days to go through your entire blog! Love how you present the 2p guys. I was wondering how the 2ps would react to a S/O with a prosthetic leg. Would they help them fix their joints, go to doctor appointments or play pranks with them/ other people? Personally I love to leave my leg around and scare people 😂

((omf I don’t even know how I got here help, but thank you!! ))

2P!Italy: honestly I feel like he would be the type of person that would be afraid of hurting your feelings until you eventually tell him to stop being a hardass. after that he’s down for just about anything. he would probably put stickers on it if he wants to be passive aggressive. would go with you to all of your appointments

2P!Romano: the moment he found out you were comfortable about joking he would be preparing you to look like a zombie and release you into your local populated area, leg in hand

2P!Germany: since he’s an active fellow he would definitely work on joint repair with you. is the best spotter you could ever ask for. for Halloween he insists the two of you go as pirates every year

2P!Prussia: the two of you would be an unstoppable pair, him with his arm and you with your leg: together you would slowly build another person until there was a new Transformers movie

2P!Japan: I feel like he would want to test how much he could do before you felt he was touching you. depending on how high your prosthetic is, he would put his hand on your thigh and be really confused as to why it was so hard. all for pranks as long as he “wasn’t involved ;)”

2P!Spain: will sigh loudly every time he sees your leg laying somewhere. will most likely put it somewhere you can’t reach until you beg him to get it for you - if you’re stubborn and start climbing things he will give in in case you get yourself hurt. probably has joint pain remedies he’d give you

2P!America: don’t. let. him. know. he will, if you’re comfortable, ask to do weird experiments that will definitely get you killed. “s/o s/o s/o hey s/o have you ever thought of putting a pogo-” “a l l e n”

2P!England: he would forget your leg isn’t real and apologize profusely every time he stepped on your foot. would always be there to help you if you needed it and elbow you in the side every time you made a pun

2P!France: will also sigh loudly upon finding your leg. he goes to doctors appointments with you and refuses to wait outside. if your leg has a smooth surface then he will attempt to use dry erase markers on it all the time. he leaves sticky notes too. probably hides it when you’re asleep lol, but makes sure you can find it easily

2P!Russia: Viktor is susceptible to any and every prank, so please take advantage of this. he would gladly help you with anything you needed, though warily, uncertain of any tricks you might have up your pantleg. (ba dum tss)

2P!China: the first time he found out was by accident and he started crying because somehow he got it off of your leg and assumed he just snapped off your limb. you were probably crying (in laughter) which only freaked him out more. after you explained he laughed it off but is slightly afraid to touch it in fear he will break it lol. he’s really good with pain relief though, so that’s a plus

2P!Canada: honestly he’s the worst of them all, you two are the terribly terrific duo that just pranks everyone. he tries to make himself seem unsuspicious if someone is suspecting he was involved. he’s very gentle with your leg, however, because he doesn’t want to do something that might hurt you in some way. this, however, does not stop him from r o a s t i n g you verbally (nothing mean, I promise, none of the boys would ever maliciously joke about it)

#this was hella fun to write lol #i keep chuckling about my friend #2p #2p headcanons #aph 2p #2p hetalia

[ravenvsfox]

I know you have already done a lot of the ship posts (and they are all phenomenal and accurate af) but can you pretty please do Jesper and Wylan from six of crows/crooked kingdom? Xoxo

I’m SO sorry this took so long, you’re such an absolute sweetheart and also christ I’ve never been called an inspiration before holy.. god

also heck i love wesper this is a treat

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU… 

who is more likely to hurt the other?

don’t.. do this

they’re genuinely so good neither of them would ever TRY to hurt the other, and they’re both so tender and apologetic if they ever do. I think I’m gonna have to say jesper though just because. he’s still a little stirred by his addiction (to trouble! to bringing two guns to a gun fight! to gambling! to love!) and he’s got some jealousy and sensitivity baked into him, bless him. I feel like he’d run a risk and break Wy’s heart by accident, a little bit

who is emotionally stronger?

a genuine toughie bc they’ve both survived and persevered so MUCH. I think in terms of immediate reactionary instincts, Jes is better at letting bad vibes roll right off of him. He’s made of smiles. He’s trouble and a good time rolled into a waistcoat. If you insult him he only gets stronger. Wy was raised in silk and champagne but he was raised BY an absolute monster so. he’s a very bruised peach. criticism pierces him v easily. Though in a more fundamental way, wylan has fashioned his past trauma into a shield. by the end of ck he’s building himself new emotional strength with his bare hands

who is physically stronger?

ohhh man. They’re both noodle boys. Wylan is too smart for exercise. Jesper does his fighting at a 20 metre distance from his target. Jesper is bigger than wylan but most of his size is gangly and delightful and awkward. I think jes could probably still beat wylan in a pinch, but I’m more caught up in how funny it would be to see them try to fight it out

who is more likely to break a bone? 

man I’m tempted to say jesper just bc he seems like he would be...... brittle. I think he gets into scrapes a lot. I think wylan starts to get into p frequent scrapes by nature of being the sixth crow. I think the both of them are so busy worrying about each other’s fights that they neglect their own and trip off a building or smth

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

I think wylan can be a nasty piece of work when he’s pissed enough. like he may be a silk eared puppy but he’ll chew your shoes and track mud around if you forget to feed him. jesper doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body man, I think he’s a sarcasm queen and a joker but he’s definitely not mean

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

I think jesper’s constantly assuming he did something wrong and he sits down with wylan 100% serious like ‘babe.. im so, so sorry. I never wanted to be the sort of person who made you look sad like that, we’re past that, I truly made a promise--’ and wy would be like ‘what no I was sad bc a screw on my flute is loose and I couldn’t practice today’. but also yeah if it’s a serious fight they make up in a rush, and they laugh at themselves, and they use their energy for something better

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

here’s the thing about the crows man, they’re always sustaining minor injuries as a team and it’s a win if they live, right? All I can picture is the roar of activity when they pull off a job and they come back limping and bleeding and swearing and crowing w joy, and jes and wy take their seats opposite each other and clean wounds, kiss foreheads, smooth back sweaty curls, squeeze hands, make promises. the routine, u kno

who is in constant need of comfort? 

uhhh both of them (it’s always both my guy jot that down). Wylan has 16 years of shitty imposed self loathing to unlearn, and traumatic experiences all over him. jes has lost a lot (including his mom) and he struggles with addiction so like. yeah they both need comfort. they both wake up w the phantom feeling of a mother’s arms around their shoulders. they’ve both seen the very worst of humanity. They’re just two nervy, high stress kids trying to figure things out

who gets more jealous? 

lmao WYLAN VAN ECK did y’all read his scenes in crooked kingdom that boy is NOT SHARING. he glared real holes in kuwei’s head guys. jesper tbh is a terrible flirt and a HANDFUL and wylan is happy. to have his hands full. no one else.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

mmm nahhh

who will propose? 

u bet ur ASS it’ll be jesper. Imagine wylan’s blushing face...... he’d do it for that alone. tbh there’s probably a point in their relationship where jesper’s outrageous flirting isn’t enough to get that pretty blush from wylan like he’ll roll his eyes and shove jes in the shoulder and w/e but they have to have increasingly ridiculous conversations about kinks or w/e until that blush comes out. jesper’s like ‘dang. guess I gotta step up the romance. what’s the most romantic thing? marriage? marrying wylan? son absolutely where do i sign’

who has the most difficult parents?

lmao lm a o lmaooo Lmao LMAO lmao

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

I feel like depending on the social climate of Ketterdam, hand holding might not be on the table?? especially for two criminals associated w the bastard of the barrel like idk man I can’t picture it. they don’t want to draw attention to themselves (well i mean. jes wants to. but they can’t). I think they’re all about sly glances and the most obvious smirks you’ve ever seen, and brushing shoulders!! brushing shoulders are their makeouts

who comes up for the other all the time? 

they’re always together man bf’s that blow shit up together and live together stay together so like they rarely have the opportunity to talk about each other. howEVER jesper probably mentions his boyfriend in the middle of a hand of poker w an inappropriate smile or gushes to w/e prisoner he’s breaking out of jail or makes Kaz’s day weird by trying to confide in him

who hogs the blankets? 

wylan is exhausted w luxury and jesper is a child who wants to be held so he rolls over and then over again so that wy always wakes up to a lapful of boyfriend and a roll of blankets and he has to wait for jesper’s heavy sleeper ass to arise so he can get up to pee 

who gets more sad? 

booooth -- jesper is understated sad with a side of unnerving frowns, wylan is a wobbling mouth and clenched fists. Sometimes they stay in the Wylan Van mansion and lock the doors so the maids can’t come in, and they bring the lavish decorative pillows into a heap on the carpet and feed each other sweets and rub each others backs and laugh and laugh the darkness away. wylan sketches. jesper poses. there’s scheming & kaz impressions. jesper is a storyteller and he imagines out loud what nina or inej are up to at that very minute, controlling gravity and hearts and the sea and their lives 

who is better at cheering the other up? 

see above ^^ they both go pro at the comfort olympics. Jesper is that little bit better though. He’s a sweetheart with all the right words in his pockets. He knows how to chop wylan’s dad down like the overgrown dead tree that he is. he knows how to flirt a smile onto wy’s face. he maybe lacks delicacy sometimes, but he’s so fun and wholehearted and warm that he can’t really go wrong

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this is canon y’all, jesper is a lecherous bastard and wylan is equal parts disdain and delight. he absolutely will slap a boy

who is more streetwise?

god bless wylan but he knows a hell of a lot less about the streets than jes. He’s learning fast by the end of ck, but he’s still very sheltered in a lot of ways. Jesper has a few years under his belt, and he’s.. like tbh he’s a part of a gang so. He’s seen a lot. He’s participated in a lot. He has a pretty steep list of kills, same as every other survivor out there. He’s detached from the deaths but he’s been on the other side of a lot of bullets that have crumpled people up and thrown them in the trash. He knows his business, too. He knows Ketterdam. Well. Wy knows the half of it Kaz wants him to see.

who is more wise?

Wylan is utterly brilliant and Jesper is wholeheartedly here for it. What was that line again? ‘you’re cuter when you’re smart’? Wylan can think his way out of just about anything, the world belongs to him. jsyk

who’s the shyest? 

Wylan absolutely what a sweetie. I mean a lot of it stems from unfortunate self esteem issues and a history of being burnt but a lot of it is pure soul deep candy sweet embarrassment and not knowing what to do w his own cute face. He doesn’t know how to deal w people a lot of the time. he knows sheet music & formulas. he does not know how to look at a boy with beautiful lips all curled up at him and not pass out

who boasts about the other more? 

jesper is loudmouthed usually and he’s that much more loudmouthed when he’s in love, catch him talking to anyone who will listen about wy’s stupid face 

who sits on who’s lap? 

jesper would definitely try it, don’t even test him, he would fold all his crane limbs into wylan’s lap and say ‘hello peaches’ and wylan would have to slide both of them onto the floor to escape his embarrassment. on a good day, jes’ll scoop wylan into his lap and he’ll feel quiet, for a while

#i love them #six of crows #wesper #six of crows hc #crooked kingdom #hc #long post #like really long #Anonymous #ask