#please everyone feel free to send more nani asks

[holdmekhh]

Tame

Artist/Person : Han Seungwoo

Group/Crew : Victon/X1

Genre : SMUT/ Angst/ Fluff/ AND SMUT

Words : 3.3K

Requested : “ can you do a seungwoo (x1) smut where usually he’s all vanilla and soft but one day reader purposely made him jealous by flirting with the other boys and that made him snap and reader and him had rough sex with lots of daddy and choking kink and the boys could hear them dhdfjdhdgdf its okay if youre not comfortable to do it!” -anonymous  

A/N;; Hiii guys! I hope you guys enjoy this! It took me all day to write this, and it was my first time actually writing about a certain kink other than Daddy kinks. But, I think I did good. Let me know what you guys thought! Enjoy! -Admin Nani

“Play with me!” She whined, pulling gently on his sleeve only to get ignored again. A soft whine left her as she again, tugged at the fabric, “Seungwoo, play with me.” Finally, he pulled his arm away and looked to her. “I’m busy, Y/N. Be a big girl and wait.” He stated sternly, turning back to his computer and typing away. She pouted and huffed, falling back on his bed, keeping her eyes trained on his focused form. Okay, so maybe she was acting like a baby, but she had a good reason. He’d invited her over to hang out and relax, but since she got there, he hasn’t paid her any mind. He wasn’t even the one to open the door, Wooseok did! It’d been hours and he hadn’t so much as given her a smidge of his time, just kept his attention on his computer and phone. Finally, she gave up with another huff and stood from her spot on the bed. Even then, he didn’t even look her way. “Whatever.” She muttered, walking out of his room with a slight slam of the door. At that, though, he merely glanced up with a grunt before going back to work. 

“Y/N!” She was greeted loudly in the living area by the rest of the older group members, laughing softly as they turned their attention to her, save for the two who were on the floor playing video games. “What’re you guys doing?” She asked softly, moving to squeeze herself between Seungyoun and Hangyul. “Watching Wooseok get his ass handed to him by Yohan-ie.” Hangyul muttered, looking to her with a raised eyebrow. “What about you, short stack? Thought you were supposed to be hanging out with your boyfriend?” At the mention of Seungwoo, she rolled her eyes and pouted. “I thought I was, too. But apparently, his computer and phone are more important.” “He might be working on lyrics.” Seungyoun chimed in, eyes still locked on the chaos happening on the television. “Maybe, but he still could’ve paid a little attention to me, y’know. He invited me over and had me just sitting there bored and craving cuddles for, literally, since I got here 5 hours ago.” She complained, head falling onto Seungyouns shoulder with a pout on her lips. He laughed softly, lifting a hand to ruffle her curls. 

It was possibly an hour or two later that Seungwoo finally stood from his bed with a stretch, ready to bring his girlfriend to bed with him after neglecting her for as long as he did. He honestly didn’t mean for it to happen the way it did. Calling her over, he actually planned to spend the day relaxing, maybe even send the rest of the boys away and have some fun, because he missed her. But then he just kinda got pulled into work, wrapped up in writing lyrics and a melody for a song. He felt bad and really wanted to make it all up to her, make sure that she understood how much he loved her and appreciated her, and missed her. But, that all went out the window when he saw her watching a movie with the others, more so Seungyoun. “Hey, what you guys doing?” He made his presence known, causing everyone to turn and look at him. Going around the couch, he watched Hangyul make room for him sit next to Y/N, with he took immediately. He’d expected her to move over and lay on him, but she just cuddled into Seungyouns side even more. He could feel the jealousy flickering in his chest, jaw tightening just the slightest, but he ignored it and settled into his seat. 

Stretching a little, he relaxed and set his hand on her thigh, only for her to push it off and press even closer to his younger member and lean up to whisper in his ear, causing them both to laugh softly. Again, he ignored the flame of jealousy that started within him, running a hand roughly through his hand. Then he heard her, “Youn-ie, want something to drink?” Then she turned, her face right next to his but she completely ignored them and asked the others with a smile before getting up and heading to the kitchen. He stayed silent when she called Seungyoun to the kitchen for help, and he didn’t try to hold her anymore. The flame had completely consumed him by now, and he felt himself getting more and more agitated as the movie went on.

 Then, it was over. The credits started rolling, and Yohan getting up to flick on the lights. “Should we order some more food before the kids get back?” Hangyul asked, eyeing his phone as there was a chorus of ‘yes’s around the room. Seungwoo stood, stretching slightly before silently heading back to his room. “Y/N!” He called, groaning softly when she didn’t enter. Going back out to find her in the same spot that she was in before, he cleared his throat, causing it to go silent. “Y/N, come here, please.” His voice was tense and his eyes were cold when she turned to look at him. Rolling her eyes, she stood and walked passed him to his room. He watched as the other boys stared with eyes, none of them had seen her be this bratty before. “Save us some food, yeah.” He stated simply before turning and going back to his room, shutting the door softly and locking it. Turning, he leaned against it and watched her sit on his bed. “What did you want me for?” She huffed, but the slight shake in her voice showed that she was nervous as to what was going to happen. She’d never seen him like this before, jaw tight with eyes so dark and cold. “What the fuck was that, hm?” He asked, voice calmer than she expected but still held an authoritative edge to. “What are you on about?” She asked, a huff heavy in her tone. “Don’t play dumb with me, princess. You know what the fuck you were doing.” He stated, calmly walking towards her. “I treat you so well, don’t I? I don’t mad at you, or yell when you do something you shouldn’t. I give you everything you want, all of my love and attention, when I can. But the one time you don’t get your way, you go and act like a brat?” He’d gotten right in front of her by now, dropping down to stare up into her eyes. “You go flirt and cuddle with Seungyoun-ie? You ignore me?” He reached up and grabbed her cheeks roughly when she attempted to look away from him, turning her head back to look at him. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” He hissed, standing up and tilting her head as he did. “Such a spoiled little brat. I think you need to be punished, little one. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? To be punished by Daddy?” She attempted to shake her head, making him chuckle. “Well, since it seems like you forgot who was in charge. You’re getting punished, whether you wanted it or not.” He let go of her face, her cheeks red from his hold. “On all fours.” He stated, pulling his belt from its loops. When she didn’t move, he looked to her with a raised eyebrow. “Did I stutter, princess? On all fours, now!” She scrambled to her hands and knees, heart racing as looked down at his sheets. She’d never seen Seungwoo like this before, he was usually very soft spoken with and gentle. Vanilla for the most part. So for him to be reacting like this, she must’ve really pressed his buttons this time.

He slowly slid her jeans and panties down to her knees, letting them pool onto the bed for the time being. His hands smoothed over her ass before he pulled away and grabbed his belt from where he set it down near her feet. He watched her body tense when ran the leather material over her damp slit, jumping slightly when he tapped her lower lips a few times with it. “How many do you think you deserve, princess?” He spoke up, watching her body stiffen at his cold tone. “F-Four?” She whispered softly, making him raise an eyebrow. “Four? You think you’ve only done enough bad for four spankings?” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Let’s see about that. Count.” He ordered, delivering a hit of the belt to her right ass cheek causing her to jerk forward with a gasp. “One.” She whimpered, making him nod. “That’s for disturbing me while I was working.” Another hit of the leather to her skin made her gasp out, “Two.” “For continuing to disturb me after I’d asked you to stop multiple times.” “Three.” “Catching an attitude with me.”

It continued like that until they’d gotten to ten hits. Her ass was red, welts starting to show on her skin, and tears were running down her flushed cheeks as she cried the last number. “Ten!” “And that’s for being a spoiled brat.” He hissed, the belt landing on her skin harder than the other hits, making her head fall forward as she cried out. Her arms were shaking, so were legs, and her ass was on fire as he pressed his free hand against it. “Look at that…” He muttered, using the belt to trail over her pussy again and landing a few gentle hit against her swollen lips. “You’re dripping everywhere, princess.” He stated, dropping the belt to the side in exchange to cup her soaked sex, pulling away to land a few slaps to it before dragging a finger through her slit from her clit to her entrance as she let out soft gasps. Without warning her plunged two of his fingers in her hole, making her arms give out and fall face first into his pillow. “Oh, god.” She whimpered, hole tightening around his fingers as he fucked her quickly with them. Her legs were shaking, juices gushing out, insides tightening around his digits as her first orgasm started to approach. He knew, too, from her high pitched moans. And just as she was about to fall off the edge and into the abyss of her orgasm, he pulled away from her completely, ripping a desperate cry from her lips. “No!” She cried, hole spasming around nothing. “On your knees. Now.” He ordered, making her force herself up and off the bed to the floors. He felt something in his chest ignite at the sight of her fucked out form, eyes darkening and his dick twitching in his sweats. “You know what to do, take it out.” He stated, pulling off his shirt before watching her pull down his sweats and boxers. 

As she pulled out his length, she felt her mouth water at the sight of it. He was rock-hard, tip red and leaking precum, she couldn’t wait to sink her mouth on him. Looking up at him, he bit his lip softly making her clench around nothing, before he nodded. “Go ahead, princess. Be a good girl and suck Daddy off.” She didn’t waste any time, wrapping her lips around his length and taking as much into her mouth as she could before gagging and wrapping her hand around the rest of him. Bobbing her head slowly, twisting her hand in unison, she felt so good. The soft moans he let out were great and all, but the tiny praises he grunted out made her feel like she was on cloud nine. “You suck Daddy’s cock so well, princess.” He muttered, looking down at her as she hollowed her cheeks and sucked harder, making him moan out. “Fuck, just like that.” He muttered, hand pushing her hair back from her face and gripping in it. “Move your hand and look at me.” He whispered, making her drop her hand and focus her teary eyes up towards his face. “Keep your eyes on me, got it?” She nodded the best she could with his dick stuffing her mouth and his hand in tangled in her hair, a soft hum of confirmation making him shut his eyes at the vibration around him. His grip tightened, making her whimper, before he started moving his hips to slowly fuck into her mouth. Looking down at her, her bit his lip again. “Look at you...you like getting your throat fucked by Daddy’s cock, princess?” He chuckled breathlessly as she whimpered around him. “Bet you want Daddy’s cum down your throat? Or maybe painted all over that pretty face of yours? I bet you’d like that, getting covered in Daddy’s cum.” He grunted, dick twitching in her mouth as he noticed her hand between her legs. “Move your fucking hand, princess. Did I say you could touch yourself? Hm? That pretty pussy’s mine. Understand? Only Daddy can touch it.” She pulled her hand from her clit to grip his thighs as he started to fuck her mouth harder, her nails were digging into the golden skin of his thighs before he pulled his length from between her lips and started to slowly jerk himself. “Want me to cum on your face princess?” She nodded silently, hands still on his thighs as she caught her breath. “Use your words. You’re a big girl.” “Yes, please, Daddy. Please cum on my face.” He chuckled, smirking softly at her words. “Too bad this is your punishment, huh? Get up, strip, and get on the bed. All fours.” He let go of himself, stepping out of his clothes and watching her. “You’re so wet.” He muttered, climbing onto the bed behind her and running his fingers gently over her slit. “Such a pretty little pussy, all nice and wet for Daddy.” He smiled, grabbing his length and aligning himself before thrusting roughly into her, sinking balls deep into her. A loud moan dragged out from between her lips, head falling forward as he set a brutal pace. His hands gripped her hips tightly, grunting as he pounded into her. 

Pulling a hand from the hot skin of her hip, he reached up and tangled his fingers in her curls and pulled her head back as she cried out at the pleasurable pain. “You like that, baby? You like having Daddy tug your hair, hm?” “Yes, Daddy! Yes!” She cried out, hand reaching back to hold loosely on his wrist as he continued to grip her hair and pound her. Her eyes had begun rolling back and her pussy started to clench around his length making him smile. “You’re gonna cum?” He smiled at her high-pitched whines as she attempted to nod. “Too bad.” He hissed, pushing her away and pulling out of her as she cried out. “Daddy!” She whined, pouting into the pillow that her face was buried in. “Turn over.” Flipping herself, she looked at him with blown pupils and flushed cheeks. He moved her around on his bed slightly before climbing over her and slipping back into her tight, hot pussy. Her head lolled to the side, mouth falling open in a deep moan. He immediately went back to his merciless pace, straightening his back up and throwing her legs over his shoulders to hit deeper. Her eyes crossed as he hit her g spot, “Oh, fuck! Right there!” She cried, walls fluttering when he chuckled darkly, wrapping a hand around her throat and pistoling into her sweet spot. “Cum.” He growled, making her tumble over the edge, but he didn’t. Not the first time she came, nor the second or third, or fourth; he just continued attacking her g spot with the tip of his cock, hand tightening around her throat more and more. 

Her hand wrapped loosely around his wrist, eyes shut and lips parted. Saliva coated her lips and chin, soft gasp-like moans falling from them and felt another orgasm building up in the pit of her stomach.”D-Daddy…” She started, whimpering as he nodded, free hand moving to start rubbing slowly at her clit, completely opposite to the quick thrusts that he’s delivering to her clenching walls. “Daddy…” She whined again, tugging slightly at his wrist. He loosened his hold on her throat, moving to cup her jaw and drag his thumb over her lip. “What is it?” He slowed his thrusts down slightly. “Want you to cum in me.” She stated, whimpering when he roughly grabbed her cheeks. “Oh, does baby want Daddy to paint her hot walls with his seed?” She nods, mouth falling open as he hits her spot again, speeding up. “Cum when I tell you.” She nods at his stern words, gripping onto his forearms as fucked into her. When she felt him twitch in her, she felt her stomach flutter in excitement. “Hold on, princess. Almost there. Almost-” His voice broke face dropping to bury in the crook of her neck, hand having had moved back down to wrap around her throat loosely. “Cum with me, princess.” He grunted softly, thrusts turning sloppy as he let his orgasm take over. At the feeling of his warm cum shooting into her walls, her abdomen clenched tightly before orgasm washed over her, back arching and hands running up his back to grip at his broad shoulders. “So good, so good.” She muttered, as she slowly came back down from her release. 

Slowly pulling out of her, she sat back and watching their mixed releases flow out of her swollen hole. Moving himself downward, he situated himself on his stomach between her legs. At the movement, she peeled her eyes open tiredly and looked down at him. “What’re you doing?” She slurred slightly, merely receiving a ‘shh’ in response. Then he licked a long, strong strip up from her entrance to her clit. Her eyes rolled back and her hips bucked, having him wrap his arms around her thighs to hold them as he started to lick and suck at her swollen sex. “Daddy, ‘m too sensitive.” She cried, but not attempting to push him away and merely burying her fingers into his hair and loosely pulling at it. “Oh, baby you taste so good. Been wanting to eat you since you got here.” He muttered into her lower lips, making her whine before he wrapped his lips around her clit. Removing one of his arms, he slowly slid two fingers back into her spasming entrance. “Mmm...look at how clench around my fingers, baby.” He praises, watching their mixed juices. “Give me one more. I know you can do it, princess.” He placed a kiss on her inner thigh as her curled his long fingers into her g spot. Her back arched, fingers tightening in his soft strands. Quickly, he latched his mouth to her clit and started sucking roughly, speeding up his fingers. “Ah-ah- ‘m cumming! Daddy!” She cried out, his arm moving back to wrap around her thigh again, holding her still as he ate her out through her orgasm to draw it out. Her moans turned to cry-like whimpers and whines, body squirming at the intense overstimulation until he let up with a gentle kiss to her pulsing bundle of nerves.

She didn’t know what happened after that, waking up when the sun was shining brightly into the room with Seungwoo wrapped around her tightly and breathing into her neck. “Seungwoo...babe?” She muttered, going to move but feeling pain tense her leg, making her whimper. It wasn’t long after that Seungwoo’s eyes fluttered open to find her face full of discomfort. “What?” “My body hurts like hell, thats what.” She pouted, causing him to chuckle softly. “And yet, you’re still being a brat?” She whines, shaking her head and leaning into him. “I’m sorry.” She mutters, making him smile.

#khh #khh smut #khh imagines #khh scenarios #kpop #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #victon #victon smut #victon imagines #victon scenarios #x1 #x1 smut #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios #x1 angst #x1 fluff #han seungwoo #seungwoo #seungwoo smut #seungwoo imagines #seungwoo scenario #han seungwoo smut #han seungwoo imagines #han seungwoo scenarios #pdx101

[ichirostitties]

It’s great to see another HypMic imagines blog around!! Can I request some headcanons for how Ichiro, Dice, and Samatoki (desperate ofc) react when they’re attempting to flirt with their crush, but their crush doesn’t understand the flirting and just thinks the guys are being super nice all of a sudden? Hopefully that made sense agsjjfkvkv. Best wishes for you and the blog!!!! ꒰#’ω`#꒱੭

aah thanks also this is a v cute ask they r all babey (yes even mr hardcore)

Ichiro

-POOR BOY he really has no experience with this at all :^( it’s basically canon that his only relationship experience comes from light novels/manga and all that nfdjfhssj

-he was probably SO NERVOUS he’s liked you for so long!! for ages he was trying to drop subtle hints (’subtle’) but you just didn’t understand him. he’s so nervous cause he wants to tell you but he just..can’t

-it’s just..,,this one day in particular you guys are hanging out alone FINALLY (since jiro and saburo are at school, he has the day off and you happened to be free too!), and he’s dropping so many hints (it’s up to you whether or not he uses purposely cheesy pickup lines to no avail lmao) he’s tried EVERYTHING. 

-he asked you to go to the movies sometime (he was like “so uhh..,,,would maybe wanna see this [insert cheesy romantic movie title here because ofc he would pick that to be as obvious as possible] together sometime y/n??”) and u were like “yeah i’d love to!! how did you know i’d love to see that movie you’re so thoughtful! :) is it ok if i bring some other friends too?” and he just internally cries because he MEANT just the two of you because it’s a movie COUPLES see together

-you guys were chillin on his couch probably watching uhhh NARUTO like weebs or something and he even tried the ‘accidental contact’ strategy but you just apologised and moved your hand away (he cries again because he just wants to hold ur hand aw)

-so in the end he’s tried all of the worst flirting strategies ever and not only did none of them work, you didn’t understand aNY of them (although you DID notice he was being a little more touchy than usual) and he’s sitting there wondering what to do because he’s so nervous!!! He’s sure he’ll have to actually confess at this rate and he’s never done it before his poor mc big bro heart is beating so fast!

-you probably notice that he seems to be sweating up a storm and you ask if he’s okay and I think that would do it for him honestly

-he takes a deep breath and is like right.,,ok mr mc big bro u got this in his head and turns to you with the reddest face you’ve seen in a while and blurts out that he really reaaallly likes you and he’s had the biggest crush on you for so long!! and he even tells you how he’d been trying to flirt with you all day (honestly flirting for ichiro is sending the ‘:3′ emoji) but you didn’t notice so he decided to just tell you and he Really hopes you feel the same way

-you’re like “oh…oH” and then it all clicks and you FINALLY understand why he was acting the way he was, and you give him the biggest smile ever because you really like him too!! 

-”I really like you too, Ichiro!” and the moment you tell him all his nerves just drop to 0 and he’s SO HAPPY, he doesn’t even register you apologising for not understanding his advances cause he’s too busy trying to believe that this is real and he really just did that and you actually like him back

-and now u r dating ichiro and u guys went to that cheesy romance movie and maybe u smooched him and maybe he cried himself to sleep that night because of how happy he is

-wow this turned into an entire scenario oOPS BUT ANYWAY basically i think ichiro would just confess out of sheer desperation because he’s never really experienced this before and he has no idea how to best handle the situation

-he’s just a big soft nerd idiot but he’s the best big brother ever and we love him anyway :’) ily ichiro ughhh this made me wanna go on so many dates with him

Samatoki

-angery man

-Samatoki would actually be pretty good at flirting honestly, he’s probably had a lot of positive reactions from people in the past so when you don’t really get what he’s implying he like ???? nani the fuck

-he’d probably repeat himself expecting you to get it but you just. don’t and he doesn’t actually know how to react at first.

-he’s not shy when it comes to this stuff, but he does get embarrassed easily when he has to admit his feelings. flirting was so much easier for him because he can just pass it off as not being that deep

-he probably becomes more aggressive with his flirting, like he starts leaning into you more if ya get what i mean

-he just goes with it the first few times it happens, but when you’re continuously oblivious to him he rapidly gets very frustrated, and he becomes more pouty as time goes on and you still just don’t get it!!

-he has trouble expressing his true feelings. he’s such a tsundere oh dear

-he wouldn’t get mad at you though, he really doesn’t want to hurt you even if he does come across as prickly, he just doesn’t really know what to do other than get angry at himself for not just telling you straight away

-you notice he’s feeling down so you ask him what’s wrong and he just blushes and looks away like the dumbass he is. his heart aches when he hears the concern in your voice and he really just wants to tell you. so he mumbles something but you can’t quite hear him, so you ask him to repeat himself and then he turns to you that’s when he confesses to you because he’s tired of feeling like a coward

-he tells you he’s liked you for a while now, and that it’d be fuckin great if you felt the same way otherwise he’d probably never be able to talk to you again (he probably says it all while looking to the side because he’s a stereotypical tsundere when it comes to this and i love him)

-you sort of take a moment to process it, but when it all clicks you realise how much he’d been dropping hints and you’re sorta like damn ok..he’s really smooth im just a dumbass ok but it’s ok cause you guys can both be dumbasses together!!

-he’s still waiting for your response, so you just lean in and kiss him on the cheek and he goes. very red but once he realises that means you feel the same way (it takes him a full 5 seconds), he has the biggest cheesiest grin on his face and gives you a REAL BIG SMOOCH because he’s secretly a pretty big dork

-soft samatoki makes me go sicko mode oh my god

Dice

-DICE’S FLIRTING IS SO STRAIGHTFORWARD AND HE REALLY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN’T REALISE HE HAS A BIG FAT CRUSH ON YOU???

-he’s literally been like “u look hot” and you’re like “aw thanks dice ur the nicest friend!!!!” he literally had question marks in his eyes the entire day

-he has tried EVERYTHING he even used “ya like jaaazzz???” from the bee movie but you thought he was just making a horrible reference and depending on how u feel u either refused to talk to him for the rest of the day or laughed until you cried because he’s such a clown

-he really doesn’t care that much, he’d LOVE to date you but hanging out with you is fine too so he wouldn’t be in the biggest rush to confess. Honestly he’d probably have a blast finding out just how far he can go before you realise how he feels (in a way it’s kinda like gambling cause he never knows when you’re gonna get it ooooo)

-after a few weeks he probably starts to get pretty desperate tho. he sees ur hand once and goes apeshit cause he wants to hOLD IT SO BAD he just wants 2 give u a big soft hug (dice gives the BEST hugs just saying) and now he realises that maybe he should just tell you

-and Dice has no shame, so he does! he goes up to you and is like “hey so uhh..,,,i’ve literally been dropping hints for weeks that I really like you so would you maybe wanna go on a date sometime??”. 

-He wouldn’t seem like it, but he is actually a little nervous. After all, he’s some hopeless homeless case addicted to gambling, why would you ever like him back? But for as few brain cells as Dice has, he actually has more sense than the others and thinks that hey, you must like him at least a little to have been hanging out with him for as long as you have

-when you say that you like him a lot too, he feels his heart swell!! he’s really happy and gives you one of his big signature grins. You apologise for being so clueless, you really thought he was just trying to be nice or entertaining in general cause that’s how he is with everyone else

-Dice pulls you in for a Big Dice Hug and assures you that it’s fine, he’s just as bad as you seeing as he still believes literally everything that falls from Gentaro’s mouth despite knowing how he is, and that he had a lot of fun trying to flirt with you using literally any tactics he could think of (even the kabedon didnt work smh)

-dice is such a genuine person i really can’t see him not confessing. he’s just a babey please give him lots of love and food

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #ichiro yamada #samatoki aohitsugi #dice arisugawa #this was so cute #all 3 of them are v good 10/10 guys

[thestudyfeels]

Failure. Such an awful word, isn't it? You might've flunked that test Miss Honey set last week (in my defense, Genghis Khan's goatee was giving me nightmares) or maybe your sis ate up all those donuts you bought on your cheat day. Either way, it’s easy to get hit by a few L's along the way because life loves throwing in lemons. Oh, just noticed, life and lows... they even start with the same letter L! (hobo logic, COMING RIGHT THRU)

But what if I told you that failure = success? And that sometimes, failure > success? Isn't that rad as eff?

What’s the time? Don’t look at your watch! It’s time to conquer our failures.

You’re probably thinking along the lines of: "Ok… failure. *scrunches face* Hmm, don't want to experience that! I mean the letter F has better words... Like food! And omg fishies!! BRB. Gonna get food." Stop. Also, since I’m so kind, I'll get you the first appointment with my counsellor.

Failure is simply a deviation from the ordinary. Things didn't go as you had planned. Oh, please. I'm an excellent planner! I planned for my fishies to fly, and they will! Um, hi. Welcome to the real world. Fishies don’t fly around here. And if they did, an eel would prob smack you in the face while doing so.

But believe it or not, failure provides countless opportunities for growth. How? Because it’s only in our darkest times that we are willing to go the deepest. Good days, we skim through them. Only when the seas get rough do we sit down to try and figure out why things turned out the way they did.

And even though experiencing a low sucks, it is necessary sometimes. Think about this. Without failure, success would truly have no meaning. If you can’t ever lose, what counts as a win? If you can’t make mistakes, everything becomes ‘ordinary’ as there are neither any highs nor any lows.

Now! If you are all warmed up, let's sit around the bonfire and have a story time about my failures. Bring some marshmallows too, it's gonna be a long one.

In my life so far, I have gone through many failures. Most were small ones, nothing to cry upon (my sis did take my cookies which I'm NOT happy about but I think I’ll let that pass). Two failures, however, completely changed my life:

Fail no #1: Two years ago, I was a completely naive and ignorant teen. I had a bunch of so called “friends”, was hella popular, and was basically living the life of a queen (at least that's what I thought at that time). Well, in between that, I had my first boyfriend (poor guy) and hey, it was another feather to add to my cap. It didn't however, last long.

We broke up and a few days later, I tumbled into a really dark hole. Went down in the dumps and became depressed (And that starts with the same letter again! Oh, I’m so good at this, all hail me). My ‘friends’ left me to pick other ones and I had no one whom I could trust or talk to. I was completely alone. (Gosh, looking back, I was such a sad child.) Now I don't talk about weird shit like this because I am grateful that I’m out of it and am now a lil’ happy unicorn. Those days weren't fun.

Anyways, during my days in the dark hole, I realized something profound. I couldn't love someone else with all my heart because I hadn’t learned to love myself. Heck, I didn't even know who I was. I was a complete loser.

Fail no #2: Months later, my family shifted states (around the time I started this blog). By now I had grown to be wiser and stronger. Popularity didn't mean anything and I found my solace in perfect A’s all over my report card. Everything was going fine and dandy, but then I was showered with a bagful of lemons again (no wonder I’m allergic to them). I met Prashasti.

Now, most of you know her as Prasati grandma who helps me with the Interviews (read: here!) and about whom I talk a lot, whether in awe or annoyance. She’s a grannie with sass. Coming back to the point, she had joined freshman year in the same year as I had and well, we become friends. (BTW, she’s editing this article for me so shout out to my binch! I love you!)

Um, ok. Anyways, after we talked (like grannies do, lmao) about life and shit, I realized that I was doing it completely wrong. Sure, I was happier and not a loser anymore, but I wasn't even close to using the potential I held. I'd gotten up after falling off my rocker (or horse, if you like horsies) and dusted my hands, but now I was just sneezing all over the place. I hadn't taken the reins just yet. I was still in what philosophers call the ‘bubble’ (read: The Bubble Trap for more on this).

Feeling like a failure? Commence part two.

Truthfully, failure hurts. I will neither try to minimize the pain nor tell you that it is easy to bear. Instead, I will try to make you realize that failure is important to experience in order to become more wise, kind, compassionate, and in the end, a better human being.

Now, consider this. When you break a jar full of water (reminder, your mom is about to kill you so hide while you can), the glass shatters and the water pours out, now free. In the same way, life sends failures to crack open your outer, fake shell and to allow your values, your emotions, and your finer self to come out and experience the sunbeams outside.

Failure is beautiful and sine qua non (and I’m poetic, thanks for pointing out Sally). But ironically, many fail to understand that there’s honestly so much to learn from it. I mean, you get to stay at home, eat burnt popcorn for breakfast, and cry your heart out, doesn’t that sound like fun? Here, let me explain.

Lesson from fail 1: I learned my most important life lesson which was to love myself completely.  Another thing I realized was that everything is temporary; friends, boyfriends, everyone is going to play their roles in my life and move on someday, citius aut serius. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s a fact of life. I simply had to embrace that and make the most out of our time together. This failure also hinted at my non-existent communication skills, which I had to fix. (Now I’m Bob the Builder! Ah, childhood.)

Lesson from fail 2: I learned that you can truly be what you want to be. Life is full of opportunities and trust me, life wants you to win. Don't just live, though. You must take a step back occasionally to see where you are going. Most don't do that, they are too busy checking off tasks from their to-do and moving onto the next one. For them, everything is just a chore to get over with. They turn a blind eye to the freedoms that lie ahead of them. You are capable of doing everything you want, go wherever you want, be the person of your dreams. Isn’t that freedom enough? Most are scared to take responsibility for that and hence they play small and are willing enough to sacrifice their true dreams, settling for stuff that doesn't excite them.

You see, some say I’m a bit too wise for my age. I‘ve even had people send me asks ‘advising’ me to wait till I’m eighteen before I give advice on so called ‘adult’ topics, like failure, life etc. Pah.

Do we not experience failure when we are young? Or do they not matter, huh? One golden rule of nature is that what you resist will persist. If you don't learn from your failures which come in smaller doses when we are young, a much bigger failure is going to hit you smack in the face later on. Teens don't learn from theirs, and lo and behold, we find ourselves a few years later in depression, midlife crises, and whatnot. How fun.

THAT'S the reason I don't listen to what those asks say. I mean, sure, I could ignore my failure now, they are not big ones. But do I look like dumb to you? Life is a wonderful teacher and I choose to learn. And so can you.

So coming to my point, failure hurts. But remember, failure teaches more life lessons than I’ll ever be able to teach you (welcome to life lessons 101, taken by Nani). Ergo, point to note, failure doesn't stop you, it's the quitting that does. It doesn't take your faith away, it TESTS it. Decide whether you want to pass or- once more, fail.

So does that mean you shouldn't feel the pain, sadness or remorse the failure brings? Nah. You should never hold back your emotions. Cry, beat up yo’ pillow, kill fishies if you have to, I support you (the campaign starts, #SaveTheFishies).

But don't let your emotions rob you of your growth. Learn to let go when you have to, and then use your failures as a slingshot to catapult you closer to your ambitions. Pluck up the courage to face failure and your fears, it's as easy as plucking those lemons.

See, there will always be an excuse NOT to learn from your failures. I could have stayed in that dark hole which no doubt wouldn't have been very fun and would have ended up becoming suicidal. I chose not to. I could have left Prasati and her wise philosophical shit to pick other friends while continuing to live inside the bubble (I still love you prash, put down that knife please). I chose not to.

In the end, even though your destiny is roughly mapped out, it all depends upon the choices you make. Whether you choose to learn or not. Thus yes, failure is not the opposite of success, it becomes a part of success.

So please, by all means, fall, dear friend. Fall, and then choose to get back up.

here are some related materposts if you want to read more:

One way to change your life: your perspective (out new!)

Musings on The Bubble Trap + how to get out of it

Why should you conquer: the value of your life (popular!)

Read my Interviews with my friend, Prash!

Want instant motivation? Here’s my #ThursdayPickup!

Well, it’s a wrap! I post new articles every week (the schedule’s here) so you can follow me if you are into killing the game & conquering life. I’ll do my best to help you in the tough yet amazing journey called life. ✨

If you want to go thru my blog, I would rec picking your choice of post from my masterpost list! Or, if you want to read something insightful on your cozy afternoon while chilling under blankets, I would rec reading one of my interviews. Feeling spoilt for choices? Here’s another! If you want to implement the ideas I share in my masterposts by taking action, take on one of my challenges! + you can also request a blog post! For that, leave your question in my ask box.

I hope you are well, stay strong and conquer life, you conqueror.

- Nandini (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

#bouncing back from failure #how to deal with failure #inspiration #motivation #unicorn studying #*life #obsidianstudy #studyquill #studyplants #studyblrmasterposts #uglystudies #cielstudies #athenastudying #artemistudying #moonshinestudies #ahsteria #elrood #jiyeonstudies #have a good day y'all <33 ily #*work

[tkmedia]

Will Jadon Sancho be another Nicolas Pepe?

We have some mails on Jadon Sancho while the debates rumble on about England and style. Send your views to [email protected] Underwhelmed by Sancho signing As a Man United fan, I’m in agreement with the Neviller that the Sancho signing feels a bit ‘meh’. I’m not sure if its because it’s been dragged out for over a year or because I cant think of too many Bundesliga players that came to United and set the Premier League alight, in fact the opposite – Kagawa, Mkhitaryan, Schweinsteiger. In the grand scheme of things its hit and miss, for every Son or De Bruyne there’s a Werner or Keita. I hope I’m wrong but Sancho feels like the type of player that needs the exact type of players around him to flourish. Let’s face it he’s not done much for England. For £73m I’d want a player that has done it for over a season at two different clubs to show he can do it anywhere Saying all that – Kepa and Pepe were £73m so he could be the bargain of the century. Norman Man United are ten years behind I am sure you will be inundated with emails about Sancho and United today. I think he will be a great signing but I hope the media and fans will not do what they did to Pogba. If Pogba doesn’t score a goal and assist a game then he is rubbish. Sancho is 21 yrs old, he is going to play in a new league but let’s keep expectations real. 10+ goals with 10+ assists would be a serious return in his first season. Yes it was a big money signing but he was a couple of mill more expensive than Pepe, I think Pepe will do well next season mind. Anyways my point is that United’s recruitment is 10 years behind… Sancho is essentially Nani/Valencia’s replacement. How has it taken them that long to replace a player? It is not just at right-wing, you could argue they have not replaced Van Persie yet. How long did it take to replace Gary Neville, Raphael was decent and then we had Young/Valencia and finally, they signed a fullback. Paul, Dublin Why let contracts run down? Can someone explain to me a club’s thoughts on contracts because I don’t get it. So Pogba and Mbappe have about a year left on their contracts at which point they can leave for FREE. Negotiations on contracts tend to start with two years left of their deal. So there’s been a year of negotiations, still neither have signed and yet still the club are paying them 300k+ a week? SURELY, you give it 6months of negotiations, then it’s a set deadline, your best contract offer and if they cant sign that – up for sale they go. You’ve got two players clearly not bothered about the club, HUGELY depreciating assets and still they’re holding on to them and quite accepting of the fact they will lose millions. Toughen up clubs, this player power thing is all your own doing!!! Charlie England 21 v England 96 One of the most English of English qualities is to show utter contempt for the present and a borderline delusional romanticising of the past. So it is with this current England football team in comparison to its predecessors from Euro 96. I almost had to spit out my cornflakes when reading a recent mail claiming that England 96 ‘thrilled the world’ with our performances. I mean, you’d honestly think we were playing like Brazil ’70. So ask yourself this, what other nation adopted England’s tactics after that tournament, what other nation even remembers that team? I mean most of the jokes about England’s boring, long-ball tactics come from that era. The truth is, that you were just younger then, happier then, and you’re miserable now. I dare you to go back and watch that tournament, see if you can stomach it. Yes, Netherlands was an exciting match. But good lord it was the outlier and not the norm. Go back and watch the 1-1 with Switzerland, the 2-0 against Scotland, the 0-0 against Spain, and the first 90 minutes of the 1-1 vs Germany, I dare you. England played that tournament the way they always played tournaments. Try and grab a goal from a penalty or set-piece then stick eleven behind the ball and hoof it forward. Spain absolutely battered us in the first round and were it not for a wrongfully disallowed offside goal and two clear penalties ruled out we would have gone home then. The accumulated xG against the Germans was 0.5 in the first 90mins. The first half against Scotland was a snooze-fest and we didn’t even have a shot for over 20 minutes in the second. The less said about Switzerland the better. Now I don’t want to piss on anyone’s chips. It’s brilliant to have warm memories and to relive that joy. The problem is when you attach some imaginary tangible to those feelings (England playing scintillating football, for example) and then use that as a bar to judge the present. In my opinion, England 2021 has done more to garner the respect of opposing nations this year than we have in any previous period. And that’s through intelligent, tactical, and, dare I say it, continental-style football. Liam Gabriel Hoskins (Now let’s go and thump Ukraine) AFC Well done Gareth but… I have read some lovely discussions on the ‘new England’, led by the highly personable Gareth Southgate. He has a plan, he isn’t afraid of egos and he has the team playing for him. I agree, but he’s not going to get a job managing a ‘big club’, is he? How many fans of larger clubs would be delighted to see him being wheeled out as their new manager? That’s the problem with football and, in turn, all of us. Nicholas Luthwood Is it okay to park the bus now? To all the people saying that anyone who complains about England being boring and dull to watch are wrong, and ask “what else do these people want”… remember this the next time you are complaining about watching a team play your side who are “parking the bus” and sitting back and making no attempt to score in the hope they can grab a goal on a set piece or on the counter and endlessly pontificate that the Jose style “anti football” is scandalous and awful to watch. Picking a team and playing to get a result at 90 mins (surely the job of a manager of any team at any level) is apparently acceptable to people who are now falling over themselves to justify it when its England…but its not ok when a team plays the same way in the premier league against your side. Can’t have it both ways. James. Godalming …Based on the mails published in the earlier mailbox, everyone is a pragmatic defensive first “do whatever it takes to win” Jose fan all of a sudden. After all, that’s been spectacularly successful recently, so you can understand why. And apparently anyone wanting to have a reasonable balance between attack and defensive is worthy of scorn. But I guess that’s liberals and Woke365 for you, where any other view is ridiculed. I just hope Southgate is actually the manager you think he is and will learn from the last game about what is successful, what gets the best from the players… and yes, that does mean a creative player like Grealish on the left. BadWolf …I do worry. In general, but that’s not something you need to concern yourselves with. Sorry Lee. More opinions on the football I’m not keeping to myself. Whoops. Football isn’t about joy. It isn’t about glory, or entertainment or fun. It’s a mechanical process of winning. That’s the basic argument of Lee and Ibby this morning. I don’t really support a national team, so have no dog in this fight, but I love football and while winning is better than losing, winning beautifully is better than winning ugly. England fans can want a team to play beautiful football. It’s allowed. In fact, from most fans, it is not only allowed but desired. Give me Barca 2009 over José’s Inter Milan every day of the week. And Barca spanked my team regularly during that time. But Barca and Inter sum up this issue for me Winning well is a privilege. Win and you are a good team. But win well and you can be a great one. When you don’t win often you can happily sacrifice style, beauty, artistry for a 1-0, but most people prefer winning playing lovely stuff to winning playing dull dross. There’s nothing wrong with aiming high. England have a squad of players capable of winning playing well. As they progress through the tournament, I’d not be surprised to see them start winning well. That is often what good teams who are well managed will do. And wanting to play entertaining football isn’t the naïve, childish dream of idiots. It’s natural, desirable and something people are perfectly entitled to want. A bit of beauty, a touch of colour, a splash of delight. Not everything is functional. Instead of suggesting people naff off to watch Netflix and don’t rudely interrupt the adults with their opinions, I’d suggest those only interested in winning need a little more joy in their lives. Or maybe a hug. Andreas, St Albans

Whatever happens now, it’s alright Just a quick note that I thought we played pretty well against the Germans, I didn’t think it was dull, I thought we had constant attacking intent with the confidence the defence gave us. I didn’t think it was dull at all. At this level the oppo are always going to have chances but we had plenty that we also didn’t capitalise on. Next time we are criticised for deploying (possibly unsuccessfully) a new formatting in a friendly rather that playing full strength, just remember this game to see why it’s so important. Win or lose on Saturday, that’s just the way it goes and why it’s a game we all love. Well done fellas, it’s been ace but please keep it going. Steve (THFC) …As England fans we’ve experienced glorious failure, abject failure, embarrassing failure, unexpected failure, expected failure, qualification failure, goal scoring failure, goalkeeping failure, red card-related failure and penalty failure. Can we please just enjoy this rare slice of success. Craig …The clamour (glad it now has a term) this tournament for Foden, Grealish, Sancho has reminded me of an old NFL term. The most popular guy on a team is the back-up quarterback. If you’re losing, everyone says to swap in the guy on the bench, because that will solve all your problems. So if England play mediocre it will always be because they didn’t play someone they should have. Do people not remember Hodgson? He shoehorned in Rooney wide of a middle three in 2016, long past his best. Sven was guilty of trying to squeeze all his best players into a starting 11 like he was playing FIFA. The easiest thing a manager can do is play his ‘best players and throw his hands up when it goes wrong. And looking at this England team, with more attacking flair than I can remember, you can see how hard it is to leave anybody out for the sake of the greater whole. Southgate knows that playing pragmatic, tough football is how finals are made and tournaments are won. He could be weak and play Mount and Grealish behind Sancho, Saka and Kane, but its not the right move. Everyone seems to think Southgate is mentally weak, or cowardly, but he’s actually being far braver in not playing these players. He’s sticking to a plan and England are executing it very well. Keith. Worthing Making it easy to want England to fail again All of this ‘Gareth Knows’ nonsense and overreaction to beating Germany is making it incredibly easy to want England to fail again. I realize this was England’s first ever win in a European Championship knockout round fixture (lol), but if you think The Clamour (cringe) is going to end because you didn’t shit the bed against a team you were favorites to beat, while playing at home, good grief. Luckily Mediawatch won’t call you up it, though, because arrogant op-eds are only worth citing if they come from other websites right? Oliver Dziggel, Geneva, Switzerland The alternative view of the Euros so far Picture Quality: BBC’s presentation of 4K UHD via iPlayer has been superb. They lose one point for trying to simulcast Wimbledon and the ENG/GER game in 4K and having the latter crash for most of the first half (boooo). But otherwise, it’s been no competition on this side. Sound Quality: BBC iPlayer, despite all it’s improvements on picture, still haven’t bothered to pass a basic 5.1 soundtrack which should really be the baseline. So your choices are either watching standard HD with 5.1 via Freeview or Sky, or 4K UHD and 2.0. ITV continue to not give much credence to picture/sound issues, and for all the brilliant things they do, this remains a glaring oversight. Montage: BBC will likely always win out here, but the ending of ENG/GER in particular was superb. Podcast: Max Rushden a runaway winner here with The Guardian’s Football Weekly. Following AC Jimbo was always going to be a tough ask, but they’ve finally come into their own, with Barry Glendenning excellent as ever. P. Auclaire has been a bit…mawkish at times, and I have absolutely no idea what Cark Anka seems to be watching. But Lars Sivertsen and Daniel Storey in particular have been excellent at distilling technical concepts into easy ways to understand and capturing the general feel of games. The Athletic have made an error by not having Jimbo present the group stages, and are just playing catchup now. Final point on The Football Ramble. Don’t want to be too harsh because it was one of the first podcasts I ever listened to, and it’s still solid enough, but does feel they venture a bit much into #bants territory at times. Tweet: There’s been some excellent efforts here, so full marks all around. Honourable mention to “Ctrl-Alt-De’Ligt”. But it’s hard to see anyone topping Trevor Sinclair’s request for either Idris Elba or Ray Winstone to give the pre-match team talk ahead of Tuesday. As another tweeter astutely observed, nothing quite says you’ve got things in hand more than asking Stringer Bell to gee up the troops. Moment: Avoiding the usual goals, limb celebrations, etc; it feels like even if we win the whole thing, it’s going to be hard to top Gareth Southgate on the post match interview talking about seeing David Seaman on the big screen and reliving ’96. Just a really genuinely poignant and beautiful moment. What a man. Sandeep (Worst hairstyle has got to go to Pickford – looks like he’s auditioning for 5ive). Read the full article

[murlinxmaverick]

Max-Q

This is the start. We just made a decision that we must keep. I cant remember exactly what it was but I thought out the whole idea and it was beautiful, sexy, spontaneous, and all that great stuff. But its gone. I cant remember it any more so this is my attempt to remebering it as it was in that moment of escapism. This blog is for you. This is the start of becoming the person you are today, a letter from your past self. I’m making changes to this shit life. I started writing this thing like 6 days ago or something and I cant remember wtf I wanted to say. We had a revelation of what the future can bring if you just put everything into it. I want to break the boundaries and go above the limits of this shit life. 

user912968235, you are no longer bounded to your role. You are free to do anything. lets go to the fucking stars because we are literally ripping the mental shackles off. i can actually feel pain in my arms as im writing this. its probably from the way I’m sitting but I will not let the irony just slip by like so many other opportunities have. And right now what we need to focus on is the shit memory we have, or maybe by now, I have. I want this life to be writn by your hand and not the hand of an other. take control of this narrative, write a fucking campaign like some mad scientist on shrums. Lets fuck shit up. Lets find the love of our life. lets build a home where everyone wants to be, a place where people come and ask to stay. never turning down those you love. family, friends and just great people. 

Lets stay humble and work hard every moment we get. but also take breaks and let loose when the time is right. dont be lazy. because you had loads of time and youve wasted so much of it. But we are at a critical point, Max-Q aint no joke, we can really fuck it up here. We must start to plan out our future. I’m talking self image, ladies and career. we are starting at rock bottem because thats where i am. but not for long. this starship is not going to stay grounded for long. (starshitp just crashed) I’m talking werried i know. i must think about what I say before saying, my instinctive verbal responses are never wha people want to hear, lets start thinking. I have some serioius mental issues and the mind is so powerful. It should be functioning at max capacity, or else whats the point. i need to send this bitch to the garage because its not working right. Im going insane. like you cant stay focused on one thing and because of that you cant remember shit. like wtf dude, just slow down and live in the moment. remember to acknowledge yourself and the little victories. You hear this all the time and its kinda true. buit the difference is no one has your life and no one will ever have your life so no one can tell you what is right. you must decide. i must decide. and i have. i have decided to be an artist, a scientist, a pornstar, and teacher, a great son, a great brother, a great friend to those who are great. Im tired of esisting, i want to live. 

Lets do a recap: 2020 has been shit. I cannot remember shit because most of it you would rather forget. For instance, all the masterbation, the porn watching. you do it too much for not to be part of your income. Be a journalist for playboy or something. like please, get something out of looking at these computer ladies all the time. Diahann got away. that fucking sucked. We tought about contacting Erika, just get her to be a voice actress in you movie. that is your oplan on getting her back. uhm what else. look at how low dropping out of college is on this thing. why? like I really dont care, do I? so yeah we got to get back to that and finish. because we need to be done with it. just make sure to keep practicing and well finish. You did! Music still isnt a big part of our life. the world is at your fingertips and all you can seem to view is shit like google, and social media. this year youve gotten closest to drawing by searching things that influence you. We are going to sell advertisments. but we must build outr protfolio. you Just made the email adress today. that had to have been the easiest and hardest step you have taken. (the first little acievement acknowledged) What else... IDK whatever. time to focus on the future. 

So the plan is to not put somuch pressure on yourself, time to give yourself less to think about. stay busy. dont let anytime go to waste and use it on fewer things. or more things, idk , you dont do much as of right now. But yes. the remainder of 2020 will be used to plan for the future, we want hot chicks lots of money and true happiness in our future. lets get organized and lets change it up. i want three comics done, wake up being the focus, then that adult comic you have in mind with the black market and buying a girl. idk some crazy shit. just do it. let your demons free. think of the craziest shit and hide it in plain sight. fix your car and make it worth driving. because its kinda shit. focus your story to being about reusing. education, and storage. Maximize your brain and push it to its limits. do let the time slip. Time slippage is damaging your tools to grow. Plan on remembering more information. read. write. film. photograph, invest. do it. you cant continue like this. Plan like you are the person you want to be and you will becomethat person. And most importantly, you must reflect, that is the most important part rightnow. Work on a play. Make it powerful. that can be a form of reflection. but make sure you are planning a future that you want. you cannot be successful if you do not.

The girl: this is probably the biggest part to you rightnow. she is going to be everything you want. and you must be everything she wants. so think along those lines and do what you need to do make that happen. she going to be beautiful and you are going to keep being reminded everytime you look at her, and she will know by the way you look at her, wha you say and what you do. fuck her till she cant form sentences. Be that guy, thats who i want to be. i wnat small tits. please. you know!

And take it one step at a time. just try to be productive with your time. Keep learning. today Diana thanked me for opening up to her because when she asked how i was feeling i replied with” stressed horny tired and depressed” instead of the usual “ok” and she really liked that. i need to be better at talking to her but also choose your words wisely, she loves to talk. I dont trust her to keep a secret. that might be a friendship thats worth keeping though, i think her and Nani will get along. 

i am broken in so many ways. and a lot of is is simply neglect. pay attention to it all and fix it. start exposing yourself the be best and become the best. Train the brain everymoment you get. because right now its starting to feel like a burden. like your thoughts are holding you back, but instead they are whats propelling you forward. i am proud of who i am regardless of my past mistakes. Keep yout back straight and head up. 

Ihate doing something and it not being perfect. that is what is keeping me from doing anything, and now i have done nothing. i need to react to not doing something perfect differnetly then i have because i cant keep doing the same things, its whats keeping me back. you are gemini. what ever the fuck that means. if you need someone to hold you accountable, then stream your shit and act like someone is always watching you. Do porn. (<jesus fuck im funy) .

that brings me to the topic of astrology. i am going to study this shit like its some kind of science and im going to use this knowledge to fuck hot women. i swear its going to be a mind fuck of total satisfaction. yes. 

This is going nowhere at this point. back to future me. Adopt a kid and mold that mother fucker into a fucking jem. and be the kind of guy he will always look up to and he will become someone you look up to. acknowledge his ideas as an equal. and get strong. we gotta be able to protect them from anything. 

gotta look good too, start buying like you know who you are. you are everyone and everything is going this way for a reason. i wnat to be responsable and i need to look the part.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 13: Weird Flex, But Ok

For a month now I’ve been in a steady study schedule and little to my knowledge, marked the grueling slow burn to our relationship. I just read into it as friends helping each other out and everyone else is waiting out to see if and when Iida is going to break and finally say how he feels. Shinso hasn’t sparked anything yet but we talk to each other in passing. I don’t pay attention to any of those social cues as I’m preparing for my next exams.

-Wednesday, In the hero classroom, after school-

“I can’t believe you got a 100 percent on your english test Iida-kun!” said Midoriya as he slung his backpack on.

“Looks like working with Palma-san so closely is really paying off” Kirishima nudged him “maybe if you show her your test score she’ll give you a treat.”

“Stop you guys! She’s just a really good tutor” Iida said adjusting his glasses “maybe if you focused like we did, you’d pass too.”

“Oh ho ho! you picked up on more than just english Iida-kun” teased Kaminari “when’s the wedding?”

Iida turned red and briskly walked out to the front of the school. He then sees Mimi carrying Ita’s limp body and Jin deploying a portal. He gets concerned and runs toward them.

“Ita? ITA!?”

“Oh its glasses, hi” said Jin.

“What happened?!”

“She got knock-out sprayed accidentally when we were on cleaning duty” Mimi said calmly “she’ll be ok, we were going to portal her to her room and leave a note to check on her.”

“I’ll take care of her, just hand her to me” Iida said extending his arms.

Mimi and Jin looked at each other and shrugged “Ok lover boy, here you go and in the portal you go!” Mimi said tossing Ita’s body into his arms and Jin pushing them into the portal. “Make sure she stays in her room until she comes around! If she’s still out by 6pm, let us know!” Jin warned.

“Um ok thanks?” Iida said as he stepped into the portal and was suddenly in Ita’s room. The smell of the flowers hit him and the bright colors soon followed. He was in the forbidden garden again, alone with her limp body. He laid her on her semi-messy bed and put her backpack on her chair and shoes in her closet rack. He opened the window to let in fresh air, suddenly Ita took a deep staggering breath but didn’t wake up.

“Come on Ita, wake up” Iida said softly as he kneeled by her bed “I can’t stay here until you come around, the others might think wrongly of me or you.” As he stoked her hair, the idea of just bring her out to the commons room and wait for her to come around. He wraps her in her blanket and carries her to the commons room couch. He runs to his room to change really quick and come back to keep an eye on her. Everyone coming back was concerned for her and Iida explained everything. It was nearing almost 2 hours and Iida decides to get food ready for her.

“Hey Aoyama-san”

“Yes?”

“Can you keep on eye on her while I prepare some food?”

“Why of course I’ll keep your sleeping beauty company while her Prince is away~”

“Okay... well just make sure she’s breathing” Iida said as he stands up.

While Aoyama is sitting next to her slumped body, he started to talk to her like she was able to respond. He doesn’t pay attention that she was starting to float up slowly. 

“...and that’s how I want my hero debut to be like~ Palma-san?” he snapped out of his monologue as he saw that she wasn’t there but only her blanket. He looked around to see if she was walking around or with Iida, then the panic set in.

“IIDA-KUN!”

“What?! Did she wake up?!” he said running in.

“Not to cause alarm but I looked away and suddenly she’s not here”

“I’ll check her room, you go ask around if they’re seen her”

They split up and don’t notice her limp body on the ceiling like balloon. It wasn’t until Uraraka accidentally floated her cup and saw her body. She screamed for help and everyone came running in.

“How is that possible? I’ve never heard of sleep levitation!” said Momo.

“Never mind that! We need to bring her down before she hurts herself” said Iida trying to take action “Tsuyu, can you bring her down?”

“On it, kero”

As she stretched out her tongue to grab her, Ita teleports out. Everyone panics and starts to look around for her and she reappears in the hallway.

“That’s mega weird” said Mineta “we need sensei to erase her quirk.”

“wow Mineta thats the most intelligent thing you’ve come up with!” said Todoroki “I’ll go get him while all of you try to contain her.”

As they try to do that, she just teleports in random places in the dorms.

“What the- who took her out of her room?!” said Aizawa demanding to know how this came to be.

“I did! I was trying to-” started Iida.

“How many times do I need to tell you to leave her be?! You shouldn’t have taken her out of her room while she’s unconscious” Aizawa scolded as he erased Ita’s quirk and captured her in his scarf “lead me to her room so I can show you why.”

They lead him to her room and the smell of the flowers hit hard and he placed her body on her bed.

“why can’t she be moved while she’s out sensei?” asked Midoriya “is it related to her quirk?”

“Yes and no, here, do you see that bouquet of flowers? It’s a mix of lavender, white sage and white lilies; nature’s telekinetic quirk suppressant.” he said pointing at the flowers on the desk “Telekinesis is one of the world’s most powerful quirks because it can be activated subconsciously when they sleep or get knocked out. This mix of herbs and flowers makes the user not only sleep soundly but suppresses their subconscious from activating the quirk and getting hurt. She keeps sachets of this dried mix on her person at all times for this very purpose and you put her in serious danger of getting hurt.”

She took a staggering deep breath and everyone started to make sense of the reasons why she has that fresh flower smell all the time. Everyone left her room and Iida tried to stay to watch over her but Aizawa advised to not as she might need the space to come around. Time passes and its well passed 6pm and Iida was about to go run to the intel dorms when she emerged out her room in a change of clothes.

“oof hi yall!” I said stretching my arms and back “I feel like I was tossed repeatedly on the wall!”

“you don’t remembered what happened?” asked Iida

“I remember getting sprayed with some knock out spray that was uncapped in the work room I was cleaning and as I was slipping out of consciousness, I saw Jin running towards me and telling me that I’m going to be ok... then I had a bad dream then I woke up in my room.”

“You don’t remember how you got here? or if you got moved?”

“Umm no but I’m pretty sure Mimi and Jin portaled and carried me to my room and left a note” I said and I picked up on Iida’s face that something else happened “why? what happened while I was out?”

He then explained to me what happened and how Aizawa had to educate everyone on why I shouldn’t be moved.

“Why would you do that?!” I said mortified “Tenya! what if I floated away? or teleported into town or oncoming traffic?!”

“I didn’t know you’d do that! I didn’t think it was serious when your friend said not to move you from your room!”

I try to not rage and I just took a deep breath and calmed myself. I just told him to not do it again and continued on my usual evening.             

-The next day, in homeroom-

“Ok class, before I start the safety lecture” Diya sensei said grudgingly “a quick reminder that the skills display is 3 weeks so for the next few sessions we’re going to cut homeroom short to extend training and have the practice gym open for extra practice during free period and after school.”

Jin turns around to face me “hey are you down to practice heavy weapons with me during free period?”

“yee yee, I was going to ask you the same thing”

Diya gave us the lecture and what happened yesterday after school to ensure future safety. We did training in Weaponry and I was trying to improve my reaction time for heavy weapons. My body isn’t suited for the heavy weapons and neither is Jin’s but our goal is to just do enough for an average mark. I teleport in the hero class with my training clothes on because we were doing another round of spars.

-Hero classroom, before I arrive-

“I am not excited for spars today” groaned Mina “Palma-san is going to brutally whoop us one by one!”

“I don’t think she’d take out her emotions on us like that” Momo responded “she was forgiving about yesterday.”

“She’s not talking about that” Jiro cut in “Palma-san has been training with 1-B to develop new techniques for their exams, according to Kedo-san, Palma-san had brought the entire class to their knees without much effort.”

“Hi everyone!” I said as I teleported in “who’s ready for some spars! I know I am!”

“I’m glad you feel that way Ita!” said Iida standing up from their desk “lets all try to get in the same mindset as her!”

We get to the sparing circle and Aizawa was smiling and everyone knew it was gonna be brutal.

“Anybody want to go first?” asked Aizawa.

“I’d love to go first sensei” I cheerfully said with my hand up.

“I thought you might’ve said that, your opponent is Iida” he said scribbling on his clipboard “please step up to the circle.”

My stomach dropped, Iida? Out of all the people?! It’s like they want me to teach him a lesson. No matter, I wasn’t going to go easy on him.

“Hey, let the best fighter win” I said extending my hand.

He looked at my hand and almost hesitated to shake it “yes, let put on a good fight.”

“Palma vs Iida, commence spar”

My goal was to pin him or send him out of bounds because he’s too bottom heavy for me to pick him up and knock out. I get on defense as he started to rush me. I found it suspicious that he wasn’t landing any hits on me, he was just circling in on me. As I extended my arms out to levitate, he hooked onto my arms and pinned them to my sides. I was starting to lose my temper.

“Playing dirty huh?! Two can play at THAT game!” I yelled as I splayed my legs up and wrapped them around his hips to make him lose his balance. He got flushed at my very suggestive move

“What are you doing! This is very lewd behavior!”

“Aww whats the matter? Can’t handle a little roughness?” I said has I felt his grip loosen and broke out of his hold to push him down, legs still wrapped around him as he landed on his back “I like it rough, hot and heavy. Let me show you.”

The class gasped when I did my dirty talk. He pushed me off and tried to get me out of bounds, but I wasn’t taking it.

“Aww, you don’t want to play with me? Maybe if I give you a little peek you’d want to.” I said as I started to lift up my shirt. I didn’t make it past my bellybutton and Iida stopped to pull down my shirt. I did a quick slap and tackle as he knew it was game over for him.

“IIDA-KUN! USE HER SPIN MOVE! THE SPIN!” yelled the boys from the bleachers. Fools think I don’t know how to counter my own moves. As predicted, he did my low spin kick but I propelled myself up with his engine so quick that he didn’t have time to stop. He spun out of bounds and victory was mine.

“Palma wins”

“Good job kid! Barely used your quirk” Aizawa said as he finished scribbling on the score sheet.

I look over to Iida and he’s slowly getting up and I walked over to him

“Hey, good spar” I said extending my hand to shake on it “I see you’ve improved greatly on countering and spins, keep it up!”

He shook my hand vigorously “I gave it my all Ita but your taunting and boldness always throws me off! A truly powerful opponent!”

We sat in the bleachers to see the other spars and I get curious on who’s going to be my next opponent. 

“Ok next up, Midoriya and Palma. Please step up to the circle.”

What in the actual fuck sensei?! But also I was curious about his quirk and see how it works.

“Palma vs Midoriya, begin spar”

I’m feeling pretty confident that I can send him out of bounds at least but I was in fear that he was going to break my arm or some shit. Some punches were exchanged and high kicks were avoided but I slipped a face touch in. I activated the copy and I felt a sensation in my throat, what the hell is this? This isn’t a strength quirk! What this that?! I breathed out and I puffed out smoke and a low flame. Fire breath!

“So this is what you’ve been hiding! You’re a secret fire breather!” I called out and everyone looked confused.

“What! thats not my quirk!” said Midoriya shocked “thats my father’s quirk!”

“Hmm? that’s interesting” I said pondering a bit but refocused on the spar “no matter now, I have the upper hand broccoli boy! Say your prayers”

I levitated up and screeched as I spit fire down to Midoriya that was struggling to avoid them. Poor boy was trying to jump up to knock me down but just flew backwards and out of bounds. Accidental win for me!

“Palma wins”

“Amazing work kid, love the dragon screeches” Aizawa praised as he flipped the page to see the next spar.

Midoriya didn’t look too well when I walked over to him to see if he was all right “Hey you good there? Is it the quirk thing?”

“Yeah! I can’t figure how you copied that but not my One for All” He pondered as I picked him up “was- was the fire breathing supposed to be my quirk?”

“Probably, my copy works as a scanner. My hand reads vitals, brain waves and unaltered DNA found on the face. I can copy a baby’s or seemingly quirkless individual and show them their quirk that awaits or is suppressed by other factors.”

“That’s amazing! Palma-san your quirk can help so many people in quirk medicine and research!” he said as we sat in the bleachers “I hope that someday, when you find the way to activate dormant quirks in the quirkless, I can speak on your credibility as a hero.”

“Oh stop it you!” I said as I playfully punched his arm “go write that in your journal or something.” 

I spent the rest of my day thinking about how I gave up my dream to be a doctor, life sucks. Fast forward to Monday...

-Homeroom in intelligence classroom-

“Special Announcement time everyone!” Diya exclaimed “In 3 weeks, the week after the skills display, will be the school dance. Tickets are on sale during lunch.”

I get so excited that any depression I had lingering, had left the country. Little known fact about me is that I LOVE school dances and the whole process of finding a dress and spending time with friends puts me in the fantasy. Mimi and Jin notice and they start planning with me. I was happy again and I wasn’t going to let anything ruin it for me.

-Hero classroom, before I arrive-

“Sooooo Iida-kun” Kaminari said sliding into Iida’s view “are you going to ask Palma-san to the dance?”

“I am, thats for sure” said Iida confidently “she likes to dance.”

“Maybe you’ll get lucky and get to kiss her while slow dancing” dramatically said Aoyama “finally your princess will be all yours!”

Everyone was talk over each other how this was going to be the dance that will join us together. Meanwhile, in the opposite side and down the hall somebody else had the same idea.

“Shinso it’s been weeks of just pleasantries in passing!” groaned Tetsutsu “just ask her to the dance and do couple-y things.”

“I don’t want to go to the dance, I’d rather sit at home or go to the cat cafe” responded Shinso “its not like she’d not go if I didn’t ask.”

“Who were you not gonna ask?” I butted in out of nowhere.

The boys yelped and jumped a bit “oops sorry! I couldn’t help but overhear.”

“I was saying that I wasn’t going to the dance” Shinso said glaring at his friend “and I wasn’t going to ask anybody in particular because they would go whether I asked or not.”

“Not much of a dancer? or fan of crowds?” I asked trying not to pry at him, he nods in response “I figured, would’ve been nice to see you dressed up or shared a slow dance with you.”

Tetsutsu gives Shinso the ‘see what did I tell you’ look “well ummm are you going?”

“Yea I am, I love dressing up and I like acting up on the dance floor” I said as I did a quick spin “I hope I find a dress in time and I wouldn’t mind getting asked either.”  

Shinso looked like he was about to change is mind about going but then I quickly said my goodbyes and made my way to class.

“Hi everyone!” I said in a cheerful tone.

“Palma-san! You seem happy” Hagakure said suspiciously “is it because of the dance?”

“Oh yes! I love school dances with the dressing up and pictures” I said twirling to my seat “some of my best memories were made at school dances! not to mention that slow dances are my weak spot~ if anyone slow dances with me, there’s a 100 percent chance of us kissing.” I said dreamily as I sat at my desk.

There was murmuring after I said that but I was too busy remembering my last slow dance, before the incident and how happy I was with my boyfriend at the time. My goal was to be that happy again and maybe fall in love, for real this time. Class started and I had to re-focus. Class ended a bit early and I packed so I can teleport to the ticket sales to get that squared away.

“Hey Ita” meekly spoked Iida

“Oh hey”

“What are you doing after class?”

“I’m going straight to the ticket sales booth” I said as I zipped my bag closed “I want to get that taken cared of so I can start thinking about what dress I should get.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you already had a plan” Iida responded “I was going to ask if you wanted to eat with me.”

“Sorry, the lines are probably going to be long to purchase a ticket so I might not have time to eat with you” I gently and densely said “maybe some other time?”

Before he could say anything, a portal popped up and Jin and Mimi popped their heads out.

“ITA JUMP IN! THE LINES ARE ALREADY FORMING!”

“oh SHIT GOTTA GO YALL!” I screamed as I ran full speed into the portal before vanishing.

“No fair! Palma-san and her friend have instant travel quirks” pouted Uraraka “I can’t even purchase my ticket until next week anyhow.”

“I wish I had friends like hers” said Bakugo “amazing chemistry on and off the field plus powerful and smart! Man what I’d give to have a power squad but I’m stuck with these idiots!”

“Awww we love you too Bakugo!” said Mina, Sero and Kaminari

“THAT WASN’T A COMPLIMENT YOU DUMBASSES!” yelled Bakugo.

I spent a good two-thirds of lunch in line to buy my ticket, turns out, it’s separated by grades but in different locations because of the size of the school. Didn’t matter much to me, I spent 3,000 yen on my ticket and I started to search for a dress online in my free period. Mimi and I had trouble finding something that would fit our build and height. Jin and I sit in Stats and Strats, doing our in-class work, when a 3rd year with the agent number 420 comes up to us.

“Yo lil mans and mama”

“Waddup.”

“Yee Yee”

“I got some of that good good and an invite”

“Oh si? How much for the good good?” I said reaching into my breast pocket for my coin purse that I keep my wad of cash in.

“5,000 yen for 2gs, 2,000 yen for half g and 300 yen for this mystery bag of different strains I’m trying to get rid of.”

“I’ll go splities with you on the 2g” Jin whispers to me as he reaches for his wallet in his pocket.

“You got it my lil man and mama” he said as he gave us that good good and counted our cash “and the invite is after dance party in the 3rd years dorms.”

“No way! we get to party in the watch tower suite!” I said excitedly because the 3rd year intelligence dorms are luxury in comparison to the other dorms. They have a class size of 10 and their commons room is massive, perfect for parties. Plus they have a watch tower connected to their stairwell that oversees the city and perfect spot to spy/make out. Its on the top floor of our dorms (A class: 1 year- 2nd floor, 2nd year- 3rd floor, 3rd year- 4th floor) and you ONLY get in their parties through invite.

“That’s right lil mama, bring your tall friend too” He said putting the money in his breast pocket “booze and weed friendly, food is limited so try to bring something...OH! and you can bring a plus one BUT they have to be cool and abide by our party rules. Make out and fuck in your own rooms, we don’t want to deal with that shit.”

We nod and he gets up to go back to his group of the ‘cool squadron’, a group of 5 that by themselves are dumb and useless, but combined they form a force that can level a house! After class, we tell Mimi and even they were excited to be part of the cool kids party.

“We’re getting noticed more and more by the upperclassmen now that we took that practice test” gushed Mimi “I’m getting flustered by all the attention!”

“Yee, I won’t be partying as hard but the clout of just being let in will be enough” said Jin as we walked to the front of the school “do you think anyone else in our grade will be invited?”

“Doubt it” I said stretching my arms “those 3rd years know what’s good and who’s cool enough to party with them.”

Fast forward to the weekend and Mimi and I are hitting up the dress shops to find a dress. After visiting 12 shops, Mimi found one and just needed about almost a foot of extension to make it floor length. Her dress was a very 90′s royal blue satin dress with thin straps and rhinestone accents, full fantasy with the matching gloves, shoes and hair clips. All I found were shoes, clutch, necklace and earring set, and a stark white faux mink coat. I knew what I wanted but nothing fit on me and I couldn’t get a custom made in time for the dance. Feeling a bit down on my luck, I accepted what I got so far and headed to the dorms. Mimi was feeling kind of shitty that I couldn’t find my dress and helped me think of something or some place I can go to get a custom or alterations. On our way to the car, Mimi saw that a cloth bulk and supply store was having a sale on bolts of fabric. She gave me the idea that I should just make my dress, since I made most of the pieces for my culture presentation costumes and made a dog fur coat for the project, I have the capacity to make a dress. I got hopeful as we entered the store and when asked by the employee what I was looking for, I told them my situation and they directed me to the store owner. The store owner has a quirk that gives them exacts on anything just by looking at something, they eyed me and told me my measurements and how much fabric I will need for what I wanted. I was amazed by their generosity to help me that I almost started crying but I didn’t when I saw how inexpensive everything was! I thanked them and happily made the drive back. I started right away at my dress because I knew I wasn’t going to have enough time if I didn’t utilize my down time into making my dress. My dress idea was a 3/4 sleeve, trumpet gown with a wide scoop neck with the lavender colored fabric I purchased with a gold rosette trim on the bottom. When I say I utilized my time, I mean EVERYDAY and MANY ALL NIGHTERS to complete this dress. I would go straight to my room after school and just really tired myself out with this. Meanwhile, Iida and the boys were tryna push us together.

“Hey Ita” said Iida as positive as possible.

“Yo! Haven’t seen you in a while” I responded as I’m walking down the hall from the nurses office.

“What happened to your arm?”

“Oh I blocked a rubber bullet with my shield but it fell off my arm mount before the bullet hit me, It wasn’t so bad, just some bruising.”

“That sounds like a big deal!” he said concerned but then remembered why he wanted to talk to me “but anyways, um the dance is coming up really soon and I heard you are making your dress!”

“Oh yea I am, its kinda the reason why I haven’t spent time outside my room” I said sheepishly “But its coming along just fine.”

“Oh well um if you don’t mind me asking, what color is the dress?”

“Its this pretty lavender color with gold trim on the bottom” I said dreamily “I can already see myself dancing in it.”

“Lavender? It is a lovely color, you look good in everything you wear” he said as controlled as possible to not give away his feelings “I was just asking because I was having trouble choosing a color for my dress shirt and I haven’t asked anybody as my date.”

“Oh were you planning on asking someone?”

“Well...sort of” he starts to lose his cool “they’re kind of hard to get a hold of.”

“Oh sorry to hear that” I said with a straight face as the hint just flew over my head “Hope you see them in passing soon! I just got a ping from my squadron to report to the field” I said picking up my pace to jump out an open window, I turn to them before jumping “See you around!”

Iida just stands there waving as he sees Ita jump out the window into T-pose formation, floating toward the practice field where you could see a bunch of students practicing with equipment. Kirishima, Aoyama and Tokoyami jump out from their hiding spots with looks of disbelief.

“Wow... she really did that” said Kirishima scratching his head “at least you know what colors she’s wearing to get her the flowers.”

“Alas! the princess flies away from her destiny! What will our hero do to capture her heart~” Aoyama strikes a pose as he recites.

“Not surprised she blew him off like that” Tokoyami spoke up “her skill display is next week and all her efforts are on that and the dress.”

“Skills display?” Kirishima and Iida asked in unison.

“Yes, it’s a sort of ceremony were they get issued their official agent numbers based on all the tests they’ve taken and the display will show the program how they stand” Tokoyami explained and clarified “I know this because I’ve overheard her talk with her friends about it.”

“Why hasn’t she told us about it?” Iida pondered “we’ve seen her work before and cheered her on...how is this any different than that?”

“Wait! I’ve heard about that display thing from another one of her classmates in passing now that I think about it” Aoyama perked up as he recalled “the display is going to take place in the half stadium and the people in attendance are agencies and families supporting their student.”

Everything clicked for them, she didn’t want to tell them because she rather not think about how lonely she is when her family won’t be there. They went about their day feeling bad that she’s not open about her loneliness, it mostly bothered Iida since he knows more about it than the others.

-the next day, after the last class of the day in the hero class-

“EVERYONE! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!” bellowed Iida to get the attention of the class.

“PALMA-SAN SAID YES?!” squealed the girls.

“No! But it does have to do with her-”

“She said no?” said Todoroki.

“What? no...ANYWAYS!” Iida said embarrassed and tried to refocused on his task at hand “As you all may or may not know, our dear classmate Palma-san is having her skills display in 3 days, and I want to form a spectator group to see her in place of her family that is unable to attend. This is an important part of her program rubric as she will be given her official agent number and will start getting offers for her internship with the pros. She’s done so much for us and seen us get our hero requirements, who’s with me to cheer on our self-less classmate!”

“We are!” said the Baku-squad.

“Us too!” said the girls.

“You know all of us are on board” jumped up Midoriya “she’s like our big sister in our made up family we built.”

Everyone nodded and Iida got relieved that everyone cared to see her. They all planned what to chant and made banners for her, all while she was busy making that darn dress in her room. Ita on the other hand, was too wrapped up in her own things to know all the surprises she will come across on her big day. She’s feeling confident and ready to take on this next major step, what could possibly hold her back?

-End Chapter 13-

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#bnha #mha #not canon #chapter 13 #will update regularly #self insert au #ask me anything