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renee-writer · 3 years

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For the @badthingshappenbingo prompt Crying to sleep. A angst filled exploration of Claire's inner thoughts her first night back in her time.

First Night

AO3

It rips through her like the bloody stones did her soul. Gasping, nearly unable to breath, she cries on the, way to comfortable, bed. Vaguely, as if part of a dream, she hears Frank and Reverend Wakefield, talking outside the door. They are worried about her, she knows. She has no emotional energy to worry about their worry.

They are gone. Her life, her family, her whole world. They are as dead as the WW2 soldiers she couldn’t save. Dead and rotting in the ground, under the stones of Culloden Moor.

Murtagh, who went from her rescuer to her mate, to family. Rupert, the sweet wonderful man. She can still see him bowing at her on her wedding night after she thanks him for her ring. Angus, long dead after their victory at Prestopans. Funny little Angus who once hated her.

Her wails grow louder as she thinks of Jamie. Her heart and soul. His arms wrapped around her that long first ride. The shock of awareness by the fireplace. And so many times after as they became mates on the sharp edge of more before their fated wedding. He had become as necessary to her as oxygen. As vital as her own heart. Now it has been ripped, torn out of her chest by the bloody, unstoppable war.

She thought the pain she felt at their daughter’s death would be the worse she could ever feel. She was wrong. This is. The grief is crushing, taken her breath with every deep sob. It is only the unseen presence of their child that keeps her from joining him in the eternity he now inhabits.

A promise to see all that remains of him safe. He had promised to find her again, if it took thousands of years. She clings to that promise too. Jamie was a Highlander. They keep their oaths.

She fists her hands in the pillow and moans out his name. The tears wet it as she gives into exhaustion. The first sleep without him. The first of many to come.

#my writing #outlander fanfic #first night #bad things bingo #heavily angsty #jamie and claire #cannon compliant #outlander fandom

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uacboo · 7 years

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Outlander makes its long-awaited premiere on UK mainstream television tonight on More4 (Thursday 29 June) and while viewers fall in love with the story, Scotland’s starring role in the show is also likely to capture hearts.

Numerous stunning Scottish locations, such as Doune Castle, Linlithgow Palace and the Highland Folk Museum provide the backdrop for the television adaptation of author Diana Gabaldon’s, time-travelling love story.

Based on the best-selling novels, Outlander follows the story of Claire Randall (played by Caitriona Balfe), a married English combat nurse from 1945 who, while on her second honeymoon in Inverness, is mysteriously swept back in time to the 18th-century Scottish Highlands. There she meets Jamie (played by Scottish actor Sam Heughan), a chivalrous young warrior, with whom she becomes romantically entwined.

The blockbuster fantasy show, along with the successful books, have inspired a range of tours and catapulted the real-life attractions and places from the series into the spotlight.

Jenni Steele, Film and Creative Industries Manager at VisitScotland, said “The fact that the hugely popular Outlander series is both set and filmed on location in Scotland has been great for tourism. Claire and Jamie’s relationship may take centre-stage on screen but Scotland’s sweeping scenery, romantic castles and fascinating history are far from just the support act, helping attract thousands of visitors to our shores. As the show airs for the first time on UK mainstream television we look forward to introducing a new wave of fans to Scotland, the land that inspired Outlander.”

So whether it’s following in the fictional footsteps of Claire and Jamie or embarking on your own adventure, here are some of the best Outlander-inspired locations and experiences every fan should try:

Fan-friendly filming locations Kinloch Rannoch: Nestled in the shadow of Schiehallion, on the banks of the River Tummel, lies the pretty village of Kinloch Rannoch and the surrounding Rannoch Moor. The idyllic location is the backdrop for Claire and Frank’s second honeymoon and is a fantastic example of Scotland’s magical landscapes.

Doune Castle: Many film and TV fans will already be familiar with the formidable sight of Doune Castle, which graced the screen in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It also takes a starring role in Outlander, substituting for the fictional Castle Leoch – home to Colum MacKenzie and his clan in the 18th century. You may also spot a 20th century version of the site which is visited by Claire and Frank on a day trip. With its striking 100ft high gatehouse, the 14th century courtyard castle is one of the best preserved great halls in Scotland.

Culross: Step back in time and enjoy a glimpse of Scotland from a different era with a visit to the pretty village of Culross. With its historic Mercat Cross and well preserved buildings, the Fife village doubles for the fictional Cranesmuir, while behind the stunning Culross Palace you’ll find the filming location of Claire’s herb garden at Castle Leoch.

Falkland: The Fife village doubles for the northern city of Inverness in some of the first scenes of the Outlander series. Enjoy a stroll around the village centre where you’ll recognise a number of local shops, each transformed on screen into 1940s stores and guesthouses. Falkland is best-known for its Palace. The royal dwelling was once the country residence of the Stewart kings and queens as they hunted deer and wild boar in the forests of Fife.

Bo’ness & Kinneil Railway: The popular West Lothian attraction is almost unrecognisable when transformed into a busy wartime London railway station for Claire and Frank’s goodbyes in series 1. Home to Scotland’s largest railway museum, the charity-run heritage railway offers visitors the chance to journey by steam train.

Pollock Country Park: While Doune Castle takes on the role of Castle Leoch, it’s Pollok Country Park that doubles as the grounds surrounding the fictional site. Situated near Glasgow, the extensive woodland area is great for walks and an ideal place to visit for all levels of mountain biking.

Preston Mill: The peaceful setting of Preston Mill provides the backdrop for a number of scenes during the Jacobite Risings. Located in the village of East Linton, East Lothian, Preston Mill is one of the oldest, working, water-driven meal mills in the country. Today, visitors can see and hear the mill mechanisms in action and learn about the millers who worked there.

Outlander-inspired adventures:

Outlander dramatises one of the most bloody chapters in Scottish history, the Jacobite Risings - an attempt by Charles Edward Stuart, better known as Bonnie Prince Charlie, to regain the British throne for the exiled House of Stuart. Today, during the Year of History, Heritage and Archaeology 2017, many attractions, tours and experiences bring to life the momentous events of that era and allow you to delve deeper into the real-life experiences that inspired Diana Gabaldon’s story.

The Jacobite Trail

From Brodie Castle in Moray Speyside to the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh, the Jacobite Trail spans 26 properties and attractions throughout the country whose history is intertwined with Bonnie Prince Charlie and the Jacobites.

Bonnie Prince Charlie and the Jacobites

This new exhibition at the National Museum of Scotland explores the real story of Prince Charles Edward Stuart and the rise and fall of the Jacobites. More than 300 spectacular objects including paintings, costumes, jewellery, documents, weapons and glassware will bring to life the events of this turbulent period in European history.

Prestonpans Battlefield 1745 & Bankton Doocot

Visit the site of the famous Battle of Prestonpans 1745, where Bonnie Prince Charlie won his first victory. Visitor can then explore the site of the battle on foot and discover three stone monuments. Smartphone users can also download a free mobile App to guide you are around the site.

West Highland Museum

At the West Highland Museum in Fort William, you can see the Bonnie Prince’s death mask, sword, and some of his clothing, including his fine silk waistcoat, as well as other Jacobite artefacts.

For more Outlander inspiration and to download VisitScotland’s dedicated Outlander filming locations map visit visitscotland.com/outlander

Source and to view the gallery of pictures: http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/news/15374196.Embark_on_your_own_Outlander_inspired_adventure_as_smash_hit_show_makes_UK_debut/

Nice brief overview, especially for new Outlander watchers.

#outlander #west highland museum #fort william #battle of prestopans #bonnie prince charlie #doune castle #Claire Fraser #linlithgow palace #Caitriona Balfe #Jamie Fraser #sam heughan #Kinloch Rannoch #visit scotland #falkland #culross

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triste-guillotine · 3 years

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GRAVE DIGGER “Tunes of War”, LP 1996 (The sixth great Epic album of the timeless Teutonic Metal horde. Into battle we will go !)

“The clans are marching 'gainst the law Bagpipers play the tunes of war Death or glory I will find Rebellion on my mind Rumours know that rebellion will break out Bonnie Prince Charles is in the Highlands to claim his crown no doubt He raised his Standart at Glenfinnen calling to our pride The Jacobites are gathering, I'll be at their side Armed and ready stand My rights I must defend Steel is in my hand The clans are marching 'gainst the law Bagpipers play the tunes of war Death or glory I will find Rebellion on my mind The town of Edinburgh fell soon in our hands Defeated the English at the Battle of Prestopans Armed and ready stand My rights I must defend Steel is in my hand The clans are marching 'gainst the law Bagpipers play the tunes of war Death or glory I will find Rebellion on my mind”

#Grave Digger #Heavy Metal #Scotland united

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minny5ca2018 · 4 years

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In your “Doing couple things, but you’re co stars… ?” post, what OL episode is the gif with C smiling and J kissing her from? Thanks!

I'd have to check.

I think Season 2 Prestopans Episode 10

Jamie is just coming back from a successful "commando raid", as he tells Claire.

#Outlander #jamie x claire #samcait #asks

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dangermousie · 6 years

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Like Georgians, Jacobites and some of the most awesome romance novels? A Patricia Veryan pusher post

I have just discovered that Patricia Veryan, a writer of romance novels set in Georgian and Regency time, has had the bulk of her books reissued on kindle.

So this is a giant pusher post.

Who is Patricia Veryan, you may ask. She was a British writer of romance novels who was old school enough to belong to the style of Georgette Heyer and Jeffery Farnol (who deserves his own pusher post), instead of the newer but now old “bodice ripper, rapey” school like Woodiwiss, Rogers et al. Her novels have plots, no sex scenes and are swoonily, amazingly romantic. She also did her research and they feel like true period novels, not modern people in period clothes prancing about.

They are full of swashbuckling, angsty heroes with awful families, strong heroines fighting off villains, conspiracies unmasked, swords at dawn, tons of hero torture and gorgeousness. Does it sound good? It should.

As I mentioned above, she wrote both regencies and Georgians, but I am gonna talk about the latter series today, because they are all on kindle. Her two Georgian series are The Golden Chronicles (set in the aftermath of Bonnie Prince Charlie's 1745 uprising) and Tales of the Jeweled Men (ditto). TGC follow the supposed treasure that Bonnie Prince Charlie amassed to help his Rebellion, which disappears, and which now the good guys are trying to get to the donors and bad guys want for themselves. There are six books in the series (though there are two earlier books, Mistress of Willowale and The Wicked Widow, which tie into it too. MoW is not available on kindle but TWW is and is a delightful Georgian romp with a rakish, cynical hero who ends up adoring the spunky, cheerful, pragmatic heroine. I am rereading it RN). * Practice to Deceive - Penelope Montgomery always meant to marry Quentin Chandler but he went off and joined the Jacobite rebellion and her family died and she's stuck with her awful aunt and uncle. Quentin resurfaces when he comes to her for assistance but he gets captured by her psycho family and tortured for info about the treasure. Penelope rescues him and they go on the run. I loooove this book. Penny is not flighty or dim or anything but calm, a little reserved, very ladylike, yet awesome. And I have a crush on charming, funny, h/c magnet Quentin. My fave Veryan character, Roland Mathieson, first appears in this one as the bad guy's henchman who kinda wants Penelope. * Journey to Enchantment - the hero of this one is Penelope's brother Geoffrey and heroine a Scottish gal Prudence McTavish. I remember liking it OK (short version - Geoffrey is Jacobite Scarlet Pimpernel) but was not particularly in love. * The Tyrant - love this one. Phoebe Ramsay ends up being stuck in an engagement to Meredith Carruthers as a cover for some Jacobite-related smuggling. I love both fashionable, fun Phoebe and cool, common-sense, angstmuffin Mededith (we are introduced to the first but not the last of Veryan's horrific parents in this one - I am not sure whether I hate his father or his mother more) and we see more of Roland who actually ends up helping the lead couple, in a very ironic, standoffish way, while sneaking bad guy bits now and then. * Love Alters Not - super super super obsession. Dimity Cranford, in order to lead soldiers away from an injured Jacobite family friend, ends up in all sorts of complicated embroglios which ultimately lead her pretending to be someone else entirely, that someone a woman trying to disposess Sir Anthony Farrar, an English army captain in the late Rebellion, who has been ostracized by everyone for running at the battle of Prestopans, leading to the rout of his unit and *da-dun* making Dimity's brother crippled. So much angst and hurt/comfort and awesomeness, you have NO idea. I think Dimity/Anthony are my favorite Veryan OTP which is saying a huge huge deal. Also, I believe I was gibbering and screaming at my book during Anthony's trial. Roland appears again and this is the book I fell for him in - he's sort of Anthony's friend and is thoroughly delicious. * Cherished Enemy - follows Robert McTavish (Prudence's brother) and Rosamond Albritton, sister of a recurring character. Tbh, it's my least fave in the series, though I don't hate it or anything, so I don't remember it much. * The Dedicated Villain - LOOOOOOVE! Roland gets a book! And what a book! Roland is on the hunt for the Jacobite treasure, comes across a troupe of actors (or are they?), which includes the tiny (short ladies represent!) but fierce and awesome Fiona Bradford - will he actually change his mind about his obsession? The Dedicated Villain is my favorite of her Georgians (well, that, and Love Alters Not are probably tied). I mean, Roland and Fiona! This series actually manages to do a convincing job of moving Roland from villain to antihero to hero with me buying the transition; also it explains why he starts out the way he does without making it a full excuse. TDV is also one of the very few books that maxed out my hurt/comfort love - PV never really went much for h/c of the physical as opposed to emotional sort in general but Roland's torture scenes in TDV are beyond brutal, I was kinda reading through my fingers and bawling (one of my vivid memories is being high school age, sitting under a tree during the very hot summer, reading that stuff and sniffling). But oddly, it didn't feel gratuitous because it was sort of karma for some of the stuff he did, especially to Quentin in Practice to Deceive (though what happened to him was miles worse than what happened to Quentin). And props to Veryan for having the guts to give him permanent damage. Jeweled Men follows a nefarious conspiracy to take over certain strategic properties to stage an invasion and a bunch of sexay aristocrats who stumble on the plot and decide to fight it (think 18th century Pimpernel). * Time's Fool - follows Gideon Rossiter, a discharged officer who's just returned from the Continent, and his attempts to figure out why his family's properties and wealth imploded. Heroine is Naomi Lutonville, Gideon's erstwhile fiancee. I normally wouldn't like Naomi - she's high-maintenance and dramatic, but I adore her to bits. I ship them like crazy, too. * Had We Never Loved - my first Veryan! Clearly, I was impressed. Horatio Glendenning (remember Jacobite family friend in Love Alters Not? That's him) fought for Bonnie Prince Charlie so his future is not so good. His OTP is a feisty gypsy, Amy Consett, who is NOT discovered to be a Duke's daughter in disguise or anything. It's a lovely lovely book and they are a lovely lovely OTP. * Ask Me No Questions - Quentin's staid older brother Gordon gets his own books. There are all sorts of machinations, but this is not a huge favorite. Gordon and Ruth Allington are nice people but give me Penny and Quentin's humor and reckless courage any day. If you like nice and mature leads though, this one is for you. * A Shadow's Bliss - like amnesia? This book is for you. Ruth's amnesiac bro Jonathan tries to solve the mystery of a shipwreck he was involved in blah blah heroine is Jennifer Britewell and I literally remember nothing about her. Or Jonathan, for that matter, other than he has amnesia. The reason to read this book is the recurring characters of August Falcon, Jamie Morris, and Gwendolyn Rossiter. I read Jeweled Men as if was coming out and remember devouring each book for even the slightest hint of progress between cynical, cutting August and smart, unimpressed Gwendolyn - they are one of my fave Veryan OTPs, together with Dimity/Anthony, Roland/Fiona, and Mitchell/Charity from Sanguinet books. * Never Doubt I Love - Dimity's bro finds love. Once again, I was in it for finding out what makes August tick, Jamie's adoration of August's sis Katrina, and Gwen and August's sexy sparkle. It’s a good book on its own merits though and has a hero with a disability, which was unusual at the time. * The Mandarin of Mayfair - EEEE! EEEEE! I still remember pre-ordering this book and rolling in mad glee (hyperbole. Or is it?) August and Gwen get their own book, plus the conspiracy gets finally unmasked, there is kissing and hurt/comfort and gals being the ones to propose. The OTP is beyond amazing - August is so smart and lethal and functional despite his major issues arising out of the fact that as 1/4 Chinese he’s looked down as a mongrel by “polite” society (I love that Veryan's heroes never wallow), Gwendolyn is full of common-sense and rescues him from prisons and bad guys and won't let anyone bash him (himself included, but also their friends, which turn on him for spoilery reasons. I still have residual rage about it. Katrina, you are the worst sister ever and dead to me!) I think the ending is a little pat to resolve the very real issues he has with marrying Gwendolyn and dragging her into his life, but at that point they've been through so much hell, I didn't even care.

My favorite OTPs in her Georgian series are are four-way time between ladylike Penelope x incorrigible adventurer Quentin in PtD, tormented and self-abasing Anthony and fearless Dimity in LAN, reformed villain Roland x not really an actress Fiona in TDV, and deadly and messed up August x fearless and clever Gwen (btw, Gwen is a heroine with a disability, which, once again, was an unusual thing at the time.) Worst father award goes to Roland's father (die in a fire, please!) and worst mother is either August's or Meredith's. Coolest family is either Dimity's or Horatio's. Favorite brother-sister pair are Gwen and Gideon Rossiters.

Basically, you should go read them yesterday!

PS Disclaimer. I used to run a Veryan listserve in the really old days. So I am biased. But she is a rare author I am rereading 20 years later and still love.

PPS If you are a Veryan fan, come talk to me!

#books #book recs #patricia veryan #romance #romance novels #georgian romance novels #romance books

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fuckyeahjamieandclaire · 7 years

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As fans are excitedly watching Season 3 of Starz’s “Outlander,” starring Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe as star-crossed lovers, let’s take a look at the past two seasons and our favorite kilt-wearing Scotsman Jamie Fraser. Specifically, what are his best performances to date?

We were able to narrow the choices down to his best five performances from Season 1 and five from Season 2. So voters will get to pick his best two performances and you can see our breakdown of the five nominees in both categories below.

Season 1

“The Garrison Commander:” Jamie agrees to marry Claire (Season 1, Episode 6)

Jamie agrees to marry the mysterious stranger Claire. Heughan plays the moment so casually it makes it all the more charming as he walks away happily.

“The Wedding:” Jamie the wedding planner (Season 1, Episode 7)

If marrying one of the hottest men on television wasn’t enough to make fans green with envy, Claire did not have to lift a finger. Jamie planned every detail of the wedding from his kilt to the ring. Every woman’s fantasy a man who can plan a wedding.

“Lallybroch:” Jamie brings Claire home. (Season 1, Episode 12)

Heughan’s character makes a big shift in this episode as he now knows the truth about Claire and now sees her as more of a partner than just his wife. But it’s the friction played to perfection opposite his sister Jenny (Laura Donnelly) that gives this episode a sense of reality. And if that wasn’t enough, Jamie and Claire say “I love you” for the first time!

“Wentworth Prison:” Jamie and Black Jack (Season 1, Episode 15)

Jamie is sexually assaulted by Black Jack in this tense episode. Heughan is given a rare opportunity for a male actor to play an assault victim and he does so perfectly balancing the hopelessness and pain.

“To Ransom a Man’s Soul:” Jamie deals with the aftermath (Season 1, Episode 16)

Jamie’s mind cannot escape the prison even after his escape. Heughan is give plenty to do in this episode as he continues to play shell shocked without coming off repetitive and balanced perfectly with hopefulness as he finds out Claire is pregnant with his child.

Season 2

“Not in Scotland Anymore:” Jamie admires Claire (Season 2, Episode 2)

Jamie works hard to infiltrate Prince Charles (Andrew Gower) inner circle. But it’s the devilish smile Heughan gives Claire as he sees her in that red dress that makes us love him all the more.

“Faith” Jamie gives his daughter a token (Season 2, Episode 7)

Heughan only appears at the end of the episode and plays the grief and guilt Jamie feels for being locked in prison when Claire miscarries perfectly. If Balfe didn’t make viewers cry then Heughan leaving a simple spoon at his daughter’s grave sent viewers over the edge.

“Je Suis Prest” Jamie trains his soldiers (Season 2, Episode 9)

Heughan shows off his comedic timing as Claire plays Jamie’s hostage to get information out of a British spy. The chemistry between Balfe and Heughan is evident as they play this scene to perfection giving fans a different look at their romance.

“Prestopans:” Jamie leads an army (Season 2, Episode 10)

Heughan is given the opportunity to play more than love interest as he leads men into a battle. Heughan proves a very adept action star as he charges the British.

“Dragonfly in Amber:” Jamie says goodbye (Season 2, Episode 13)

Jamie knows Claire is pregnant and the battle will not be won. He has to force Claire to return to the 40s even though he hates to see her leave. Heughan skillfully weaves the grief of saying goodbye with the inevitability of his fate.

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son-of-pendragon · 5 years

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The Clans are marching ‘gainst the law Bagpipers play the tunes of war Death or glory I will find Rebellion on my mind The Clans are marching ‘gainst the law Bagpipers play the tunes of war Death or glory I will find Rebellion on my mind Rumours know that rebellion will break out Bonnie Prince Charles is in the highlands To claim his crown no doubt He raised his Standard at Glenfinnen Calling to our pride The Jacobites are gathering I'll be at their side Armed and ready stand My rights I must defend Steel is in my hand The clan's are marching ‘gainst the law Bagpipers play the tunes of war Death or glory I will find Rebellion on my mind The town of Edinburgh Fell soon in our hands Defeated the English At the Battle of Prestopans Armed and ready stand My rights I must defend Steel is in my hand The Clans are marching ‘gainst the law Bagpipers play the tunes of war Death or glory I will find Rebellion on my mind The Clans are marching ‘gainst the law Bagpipers play the tunes of war Death or glory I will find Rebellion on my mind The Clans are marching Come play the tunes of war Death or glory! Rebellion on my mind

#A Boy Without Armor (OOC)#All My Boyhood All I Wanted Was To Be Loved (About Muse)#Can You Hear the Drums of War? (Music)

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clairevioletthorpesbooks · 7 years

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Outlander 2x10: Prestopans | Forever Young Adult

Outlander 2×10: Prestopans | Forever Young Adult

via Outlander 2×10: Prestopans | Forever Young Adult Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another installment of OUTLANDER. Click away from this post if you haven’t seen this episode. Well, so the war between the Scots and Brits has finally begun, with Claire back to where she once was before the whole mess began: tending injured soldiers. Of course, the first battle ends with a Scottish victory,…

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renee-writer · 4 years

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I Lived It!

A/N Inspired by a Twitter post by @ladameblanchx mentioning Claire lossing a son too. Frank gets more then he bargained for when he asks who Fergus is. Missing scene for Of Lost Things.

“Who's Fergus?” Frank's question stuns her.

“Wot?”

“You were crying out his name in your sleep last night. I am used to you crying out for Jamie. Well, “ He straightens up as he seats across her at the kitchen table. “ As one can be as one's wife calls out another man's name.” Claire's hands drift to her stomach, cradling the one part of her true husband that remains. “But Fergus, he is new.”

“Our son,” She whispers. “Jamie and I's. We adopted him in Paris. An orphan raised in a brothel. The last I saw of him was him riding away on the eve of that bloody battle, carrying the deed to Lallybroch back. Jamie had signed it over to his nephew, Jamie Murray, to keep it safe from the victors. I don't know if he made it.” She was lost in her recollections and doesn’t notice the look on Frank’s face. Then she looks up.

“Claire, I've accepted that you cheated on me. That you carry his child. You can drop the act.”

Fury pulls her out of the half daze she has been in for months. A daze that keep her sane as she attends faculty parties, relearns to use the modern stove, sleeps by Frank as she dreams of Jamie. It is a welcome fury. “An act! A f*cking act! This,” she gestures wildly around her modern kitchen, including the man sitting in it,” this is the act. I lived it!”

“Claire, calm down.”

“Don't! I lived watching my son ride away not knowing if he would make it. I lived saying goodbye to my whole world on that bloody hill as the drums of war echoed behind us. I lived it Frank! I grief then every day. Fergus, Jamie, Murtagh. Angus who we lost at Prestopans. Rupert and Willie. Dougal and Column. Mrs. Fitz, that dear sweet soul. Faith buried in a Paris cemetery. My daughter. Our daughter.”

She stands and starts to pace. “I lived coming through and having your ancestor almost rape me. I lived with the Mackenzie’s suspension, as I couldn’t tell them who I really was, where I had came from. Being assaulted, forced into a marriage I didn’t want and a wedding night I can’t forget. Being tried as a f*cking witch, almost burned alive. Jamie rescued me. I told him all then. He believed. Said he didn’t understand it all, not then but believed me. Took me to the stones. Gave me a choice.” She watches the emotions run across his face. “Yes I could have came back but.. I set there and debated. At the end it was him I couldn’t live without. I lived making that choice. Watching for my husband to come home after one ride with the watch. Just one. Searching and finding him in the hands of your bloody sadist evil ancestor. Rescuing him to find it almost to late. He had been tortured and raped.” Her voice broke. She starts to sob. Frank comes over to her but she pulled away. “Don't touch me. I lived him being suicidal. I brought him back. Faith was on the way. Paris and trying unsuccessfully to stop the rebellion. Losing her. Fergus, he comforted me. Brushed out my hair. Cried with me. I lived kneeling by my daughter’s grave, holding tight to my husband’s hand. Coming home only to be drawn into the blasted war anyway.”

“I lived watching Colleden draw closer. Jamie getting more desperate to stop it. That final day. Him telling me he knew there was a bairn coming. He kept track of my cycles. Even then. He placing his hand over where the baby lay, telling me that the child would be all that was left of him. To keep it safe. I would have died there with him, I wanted to. But for the baby. I lived the last frantic coming together, his hand guiding mine to the stone with his seed still wet on my leg.”

“I lived it. Still do. They are all long dead. Only the baby and I remain. Only us. Only my promise to him keeps me living it. I left my heart on that hill. But I live for the part of him that still does. Fergus, Jamie, all else are lost. I live it every bloody day! So don't you dare call my son, my husband an act. Not when I can still feel Fergus' curls against my chin as I hugged him goodbye. Still feel Jamie's seed drying on my leg. Don't you dare. I lived it! I live it!” She storms out of the kitchen leaving a stunned Frank behind.

#my writing #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #cannon divergence #outlander fandom #missing scene #I lived it!#one shot

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