#riverdale is a mess

[nathaniels-diary]

where did the beronica tension go? It was there last episode and then suddenly there was varchie again? i am confused

#beronica #homophobia #riverdale #varchie #riverdale season 7 #riverdale is a mess

[horrorlesbion]

i know we're excited about the core 4 polycule but i still haven't digested archies homophobic uncle and kevins homophobic cop dad being an evil gay couple who pick up young, precariously living male sex workers together and get murdered by bettys gay fake brother for it

#unironically the funniest thing riverdale has done this season #riverdale #captains log #like that was SO dark and messed up and they breezed right past it #chic smith #or whatever his name is in a universe where hes not gay married

[jimalim]

Yall I sobbed, clapped, pointed at the screen and screamed "JASON!" at that finale scene.

#jason blossom #riverdale #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #trevor stines #i was not expecting to see him at all and there he was!! #not speaking as always! #fuck im a mess

[hersterical]

You guys are right. Here’s a link to a second poll for second place. Feel free to vote on this one as well if you want. Mayor Tyler Cutebiker will be awarding the Mayor/main character of the runner up town with a flower crown and sash which will then be immediately incinerated and then forgotten about.

Link

Edit: Nevermind, you guys telling me it was going to be a Gravity Falls sweep were wrong!

Still, as coiner of the phrase Mayor Tyler Cutebiker will still award the winner with a flower crown and a sash which will then be immediately incinerated and forgotten about even if he has to give it to himself

#buffy the vampire slayer #gravity falls #stranger things #smallville #honorable mentions goes to Ba Sing Se #wynonna earp #sleepy hollow #riverdale #ive never seen riverdale or Wynonna Earp so I’m sorry if they don’t belong here #I’ve messed up this poll two times before this and I’m kind of sick of it now #tumblr polls #my first instinct is gravity falls #but as far as I’m aware they’re the only town that got together and chose to do so as a group #while all of the others did it as a subconscious group think kind of deal #superman #honorable mentions also goes to Danville from Phineas and Ferb

[dawningfairytale]

i am obsessed with "that's queerbaiting" "it's not queerbaiting it's saving the world". an out lesbian character saying that to a "straight" (bisexual) character. that same character having kissed a girl which was used in pilot marketing as queerbaiting, to which cheryl said it wasn't taboo. the same cheryl who ended up having two plotlines in wildly different seasons about accepting her sexuality. cheryl, within the story, demonstrating a misunderstanding of queerbaiting because she, and everyone around her, knows their kiss wouldn't be done with romantic intent. that neither of the women in question are into each other. however, this kiss being used for marketing, again as queerbait, in the meta narrative means that cheryl is right. it is queerbaiting. except, not really, because both women are queer. but that wasn't the intention of the scene (and did they know they were going to hit veronica with the bisexualification beam? i don't know). it's such a loaded piece of dialogue and for what. for what.

#riverdale #cheryl blossom #veronica lodge #it's not queerbaiting until it's used as queerbaiting #but like. it's such a mess right? #idk if it was queerbaiting it was just very very delayed #beronica is slightly less dramatic destiel

[gaycinema]

smth smth veronica refusing to fall into the classic love triangle and instead enacting psychological warfare on the boys in her grade and calling betty hot and teaching archie about bisexuality and betty is horny and unsatisfied in her unknowingly a beard situation and apparently veronica is throwing a sex party next week WHICH MEANS she can teach betty about bisexuality as well which means. well you know what if we kissed in a 50s sex party and we were both girls etc etc

#roberto im rooting for you do not mess this up for us😐 #riverdale #beronica

[opheliaintherushes]

Don't know what made me laugh harder: "Goodbye, town sign" or Jason not even making it into the door in diner heaven

#at last my friends I am freed you are freed #did they ever actually do anything to dispel the myth of the glorious 50s like they set out to do? #did Betty care about half these characters? #nope! #is it apparently possible to squander THE love triangle of pop culture/the chance to give your characters a new open-ended graduation final #after you messed up the first one? #yup! #I'm sorry but no vaccines! #these people should not be eternally joyous in 1950 #Riverdale

[monstrous-femme]

#riverdale #sorry i messed up the first time and had to redo it #pls vote again if you voted on that one #i stg this happens every week

[pa-tr0-clus]

Watching Riverdale s7 and they un-gay-ed ALL of the gay characters and said that Veronica was there when James Dean died. What even is this and why is it still going on

#riverdale #Kevin and Betty are dating now it’s a mess #riverdale spoilers #riverdale season 7

[gaypornluvr420]

2 reggies. and infinite jugheads

#are you serious you got attacked by a friggin bear? damn no wonder you’re so messed up #riverdale

[onthesubjectofanything]

the thing about the riverdale finale is that they got me and also they got me. and also they got me.

#three separate definitions #riverdale #a weeping mess and also a winner and also a fool

[princess-of-the-corner]

There should be a contest for people to make fake S6 Bibles. The winner is the one that is the most Riverdale.

HEY SCREAM WANT TO MAKE MORE ML RIVERDALE IDEAS

#I'm half joking I know Scream is stepping away from ML because god DAMN was Season 5 a mess #so like don't legit bother them #but the fact that the riverdale reboot wouldn't be too far off lmao

[riverdale-retread]

I'm so used to the mockery on this site about Riverdale - dismissively contemptuous - that when I encounter articles like this one in New York Magazine that casually mention a major plot point on that show like it's a genuine cultural touch point I have an out of body experience.

#riverdale #in the wild #the article is a hot mess and makes polyamory sound like something dumb insecure people get duped into by partners that want cheat or dump #and dont have the guts or courtesy to do either in an honest way #new york magazine

[bea-in-my-bonnet]

I find myself obsessed with the concept of a Riverdale Macbeth and Romeo & Juliet fusion (with a smattering of Hamlet)

Imagine Hiram Lodge as Macbeth and Hermione Lodge as Lady M taking over Riverdale by killing Fred Andrews in a convenient “accident”. Archie knows this bc the ghost of his father told him (but he also could have just been high on the jingle jangle in those cookies but try telling that to the sheriff) and he is determined to take revenge but falls in love with veronica while infiltrating hiram’s drug operation (ok i guess there’s quite a bit of Hamlet ).

Betty is Rosalind in this situation (Archie’s ex who he leaves for Veronica). Betty is also an FBI informant (duh) who goes to Hiram and offers to spy on Archie for him (citing revenge for him dumping her) but secretly she feeds him false information that makes him increasingly paranoid (acts as three witches) and with Veronica’s help convinces Hermione to get hiram to dispose of the blossoms- the only other powerful family in riverdale that poses a threat to Hiram’s control of Riverdale (to stop Penelope blossom’s poisonous involment in g&g). Cheryl survives the attack and flees Thornhill (Fleance).

Meanwhile Jughead who has been resisting Hiram’s attempts to buy out sunnyside trailer park seeks out Archie (Malcolm) believing he is the solution to Hiram lodge’s power grab - he is now the only red-head in Riverdale and thus by an ancient law (introduced by the Blossoms- no wonder they wanted to set him up with Cheryl) could stand as a mayoral candidate at the last minute and can trigger an election and as ppl think he is a golden retriever he could push Hermione lodge out of office. And who else has the abs to defeat hiram in a boxing match?

Unfortunately archie is like, “oh idk if i could do that jug. Hirams a pretty buff dude ;)” When jughead (Macduff) returns home disappointed he finds the serpents have been attacked by the ghoulies employed by Hiram. FP is in hospital in critical condition. This motivates him to inspire the serpents and northsiders to unite against hiram. The southsiders respond with community organisation and the northsiders are also…helpful? Gay kevin puts on a musical denouncing Hiram lodge, Alice Cooper writes damaging articles and Josie McCoy sings at every protest. Sweet pea, Tony and Fangs are quizzical at first but eventually just shrug and enjoy these…interesting tactics.

Meanwhile hermione lodge is encouraged to flee as betty claims that hiram has begun to turn on her as well bc he knows about her affair with Fred Andrews. Veronica fakes an attempt on her mother’s life from Hiram, believing it will encourage her to leave. However, Hermione, overcome by guilt and fear, fakes her own suicide.

Hiram is sad but believes he is untouchable due to misinformation from betty, “Archie would never move against you and also you’re too powerful to be taken down by the FBI. Really, I promise!”

Veronica believes she has caused her mother’s death and in a game of G and G drinks from one of the goblets and has a seizure.

Believing jughead to be responsible for Veronica’s death (j made a very vague threat about hiram’s loved ones bearing the consequences of his actions) Hiram challenges him to a boxing match. Jughead accepts seeing it as a chance for vengeance. Things aren’t going with well for jughead without his flip knife.

Suddenly Archie sees Veronica’s body and believing her to be dead drinks from both cups just to be sure he will die too. Before he dies he rips his shirt in grief that it’s come to this. This distracts Hiram so Jughead is able to gain the upper hand. Turns out Archie had the abs to defeat him afterall!

Then betty arrives with the FBI in tow (Burnham forest baby!) and arrests Hiram before jughead can kill him. All mourn the tragic death of Archie and Veronica. But then cheryl shows up and A&V wake up- turns out there was no poison in either challis (she decided not to carry on her mum’s poison stuff…she prefers shooting ppl with her bow) She seems poised to shoot everyone in the room in revenge and then in Cheryl fashion announces that she never liked her family anyway and now she gets to inherit the whole blossom fortune. And she’s in a polyamorous relationship with Tony and Hermione lodge and sashays away with a “toodles”.

And just as you think, hey this isn’t too unhinged for Riverdale. All the characters wake up in hospital (bc they have the set so they need to use it) and discover they have all been in comas induced by the runoff from Cheryl’s uncle’s fizzlerocks production. Nothing matters bc it’s Riverdale. Goodnight!

#riverdale #bc nothing matters and nothing will ever matter #also i say gay kevin bc the riverdale writers really want you to know he’s gay #yaay! representation! oh wait but it’s actually really bad representation #no more musical episodes in S7 pls!!! #writing prompts #writing inspiration #shakespeare #i’m so sorry #thanks to my friend for inspiring this over-paragraphed mess #macbeth #Hamlet #romeo and juliet #Rosalind deserved better #betty cooper #cheryl blossom #Veronica Lodge #archie andrews #archie and betty #archie and veronica #jughead is ace #jughead jones #Tony Topaz #hermione lodge #hiram lodge #josie mccoy #alice cooper #the black hood

[theultimatewildcard]

BETTY COOPER and HAL COOPER

Riverdale 6x14: Venomous

#riverdaleedit #riverdale #betty cooper #hal cooper #the coopers #hey so. what the fuck. #dude?? the CAT is a sinner?? #this was messed up love the way this show continues to deliver #grooming your kid to be a serial killer...... #season 6 #6x14 #my gifs #my edits

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

if i’m not meant to be up at 4am why are there so many things to do.

#no i don’t know why it took me an hour to glue those two framed puzzles into place so they stopped falling inside their frames #no i don’t know why i’ve done three loads of laundry today and still have laundry left #my room is a mess there’s a dozen unpacked boxes in the living room and i’ve still got two books to finish by MONDAY #and my closet is too full and i can’t get rid of anything because what if i need that 2017 ass tank top someday #what if i need that high school core off the shoulder top. what if i need that dress i should not have been wearing at age 14 again #what if i need all 20 of those black tank tops. #what if i need that top that doesn’t fit me right that i hate but refuse to get rid of because betty wore that top in riverdale once #i just can’t part with these things… #what if i need my fourth grade cup stacking club t shirt.