#s4pphoiduser

[s4pphoiduser]

time loop plots are always good. you die everyday. everyone you love keeps dying. you can't stop it. what's triggering your resurrection? what's triggering your death. every time you die you want to live a little more. every time you come back to life you learn another thing that absolutely shatters you when you all die again. every time you wake up they're alive again. every time you get more desperate to not die

#thinking of russian doll kind of. god that was so fucking sad. they kept disappearing and she couldn't stop it #and also s2 that shit was heartbreaking #yeah anyway time loops are fucking good. i dont understand the physics of it or anything but yeah #s4pphoiduser #time loops

[ashiqui]

THE POETS AND THE SINGERS AND THE AUTHORS WRITE ABOUT ROMANTIC LOVE WHEN IT ENDS. BUT NOBODY TELLS YOU HOW TO GET OVER A FRIEND. (x)

oscar wilde / antoine de saint-exupéry, the little prince / the social network (2010), dir. david fincher / @jspark3000 (x) / ocean vuong, thanksgiving 2006 / stephen king, the body / house of the dragon, 1x04 / @s4pphoiduser (x) / the fray, how to save a life / radiohead, life in a glasshouse / succession, 1x08 / @ritikajyala (x) / richard siken, the worm king’s lullaby / hozier (x) / hannibal, 3x04 / fredrik backman, us against you / maggie nelson, bluets

#* #parallels #webs #web weaving #compilation #comparatives #word collage #quotes #poetry #words #someone has to leave first #on loss #losing friends #on friendship #friendship #ocean vuong #richard siken #the social network #succession #house of the dragon

[s4pphoiduser]

it's simultaneously destroying me and healing me

#ethel cain #sun bleached flies #preacher's daughter #girls when #s4pphoiduser

[s4pphoiduser]

scared to watch horror movies because what if i want to fuck the horror

#i know that's really just the point of horror movies but still... #i haven't been able to get jean jacket from nope (2022) out of my head #i know there are sexier horrors out there but oh my god... jean jacket you smooth beautiful monstrosity of death... #horror movies #s4pphoiduser

[s4pphoiduser]

sometimes the only place you can still get the snacks you've loved since you were five is the department store that hasn't gotten an upgrade since 2010 and still stocks the same things it always has with only a handful of new additions

#nostalgia #it's just across the road from my school and its insane how many memories i have there despite how shitty it is #i used to go there after basketball practices. before and after home games. i'd walk past it when i walk home. #it was there that i first bought chocolate for valentine's for the boy i had a crush on and then the second time as well for the same boy #i would meet my friend there on days we would skip school and then sneak into practice #sometimes i would go there and chill and walk around a little. #it still has all my favorite snacks from when i was a child #i know this is probably gonna be like 'ok who gaf...' but there was this one store real close to my place and it was TINY #but it was right on the way home from school and we would stop there almost every single day to get our silly fish flavored snacks and chips #i miss it #as i grow up and the world around me takes its own turns i sometimes feel so alone going around my neighborhood #as dramatic and stupid as it sounds it's just not the same quiet place i liked as a child. it's all apartment buildings #and condos and bars and liquor stores and clothing stores #tiny stores are gone old restaurants are gone this one small kindergarten school is gone #i just miss when it wasnt so commercialized :( #s4pphoiduser

[s4pphoiduser]

everyday i doomscroll my fucking social media sites chasing the taste of internet fame. it's horrible and makes me feel horrible but i can't stop it. girl help i cannot get out of this cage i unknowingly trapped myself in

#like i try to be funny on twitter . i try to be funny here. i try to post pictures on instagram that i think would get likes #i post memes. i make jokes that i know are funny to particular people/ fandoms #i chase this taste of fame and whenever i realize im doing it again i've just dug myself deeper into this grave #i want to come out but i dont want to come out. i wish i could have more followers. i want likes and i want to be famous #i want to be a famous authorbut im too scared to ever post anything #everything i write is tied so fucking deeply into the person i am that the idea that people are going to see ME scare me #i barely have any goals and im not doing anything to pursue them #social media and the loneliness i cant put into words are sucking the soul and life out of me #everyday i wake up and think up five hundred different funny things to say. my jokes never land. #my five seconds of internet fame is always Just out of reach from me and i dont know what to do to have it in my grasp #i know it's all so shallow and superficial but we all like getting likes on our insta posts and we all like people rting/rbing our posts #im kind of a horrible person but im so fully aware of it that it reduces the horribleness so now im just an empty person #i take classes on subjects i dont think i even want to have careers in. i dont really care for the future despite my worrying #theres so much i want to do and yet theres nothing i want to do #theres an inexplicable void in me that makes me feel like im being edgelord3000 but really. its just. #its just that theres a fucking void and nothing i do fills it. i write on ao3 #and sometimes i dont know if i like myself at all or i like the kudos and comments i get. #anyway. s4pphoiduser out i guess. time to go back to studying for an exam i couldn't give two fucks about.

[s4pphoiduser]

they need to figure out a way to make us perfect from the start. i don't want to keep learning of my flaws and go through trial and error trial and error trial and error so i can finally fix these flaws. i need to be perfect from the start

#are you there god it's me s4pphoiduser