#seem to absolutely hate each other

[sheathandshear]

Genuinely the most annoying thing in the world for trans people who've made their brand being a Real Trans to throw an avalanche of shit at transmasc people on the daily but then occasionally publish one tweet like "I love trans men!" oh yeah except when they're very femme, or very masculine, or in between, or nonbinary, or use they/them pronouns, or feel any identification with womanhood, or don't feel any identification with womanhood, or pass as women, or don't pass as men, or transition in a way you don't approve of, or disagree with you on anything ever, "no you're the transphobe, I'm not transphobic, I JUST said that I love trans men!" uh huh. sure.

#like really at this point if you're any kind of trans separatist just pls have the balls to come out and say so #would save everyone a lot of grief if ppl just admitted that when they're talking about 'the trans community' #they really mean binary trans ppl or medically transitioning trans ppl or binary trans women or whatever #ironic that as I edge closer to transition I feel less and less identification with transness bc at least everyone who gets a book deal #seem to absolutely hate each other #and it's pretty damn obvious that no one actually considers my identity or experiences to be worthy of anything but mockery #the disc horse #trans

[akkivee]

stay warm everyone!!!!

#kuko harai #jyushi aimono #hitoya amaguni #bad ass temple #hypmic #hypnosis mic #lol this was for bat’s fourth anniversary but i’m a day late 💀 #BUT HAPPY FOURTH ANNIVERSARY BAD ASS TEMPLE THE TRAJECTORY OF MY LIFE CHANGED THE MOMENT YOU CAME INTO IT #💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 #i listened to bat’s winter lines from early this year and kuukou absolutely HATES winter LOL #(me🤝kuukou: winter’s biggest haters lmao) #jyushi wasn’t doing too hot either but hitoya seemed to be okay???? #so pretend that hitoya has low blood pressure or sumn idk bat’s huddling for warmth with each other bc i want them to lol #vee is arting

[vibrantboredom]

I'm relistening to I am in Eskew at the same time as the Silt Verses come out and it's so fun seeing ideas introduced in Eskew resurface in TSV, like I just finished ep. 24 and the way the History Society works is so much like our new scary war saint!!! Obsessed

#i love you authors with frightening ideas coming at them from multiple angles #eskew productions you have my whole heart #both shows are obviously very different from each other but i absolutely love the wet gross meatiness of the horror in both #they're also both quite lonely shows imo #different types of lonely- David (saddest wettest little meow meow ever) is alone in a way Carpenter isn't #but Carpenter is so phenomenally lonely in a way that only seems to ho away when she is by herself #Falkner and Riyo are also pretty lonely people but to me it doesn't run as harsh as David and Carpenter #all this to say I adore these strange worlds and their stranger people and the gorgeous prose they're written in #another David/Carpenter parallel- being so deeply loved by a thing that loves wrongly #I'm trying to remember something i heard in a Jacob Geller video about the way houses love their people but they were not designed to love #and so they are haunted instead #anyway that's Eskew and the Trawllerman #also obsessed with the way Faulkner is fratricidally desperate for the Trawllerman to love him as well #and the way Riyo dismisses Eskew out of hand like she simply does not care for the City bc even though David hates Eskew #he cannot help it- he needs to be a part of Eskew he cannot let it go until the end #I'm insane. anyway #i am in eskew #the silt verses #tsv #i don't think there's an acronym for eskew

[creatureesque]

The main reason i dont like uni is going to class and seeing everybody hang out together and or talk and ect ect Whenether someone comes in they almost always already have somebody waiting for them. Its only been a few months how did they all become friends already

#how do ppl make friends #i hate it here #its humiliating #tbf i look absolutely unapproachable. ig #ALSO THE WAY A LOT OF THEM ALREADY KNEW EACH OTHER DUE TO CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES OF MY UNI #like there are people that seem like i could try to talk with them #but they already have preexisting high school friendgroups and stuff #ffs #ill delete later

[greedbent]

one another thing i'm supremely feral about when it comes to this crowman edgelord mcshadypants is that he legit can be so blindsided by people being legitimately heartless and uncaring

. . . allow me to explain— awnjgoha

yes, he himself is ruthless because the life he lives and the environment he lives in forces him to be. because he cannot risk having any softness or attachments that can be exploited because that's the thing !!!

everyone has a weakness no matter how typically cold and detached you are, there's always at least one thing (and oftentimes one person) that is a . . . shall we say pressure point that can be used against you

and the most interesting thing to me is that kaz often uses people's families and other similar attachments as his leverage. he basically banks on the reality that "hey, this guy cares about his wife, so if she's threatened, he'll do what i ask" or "this woman's love for her children is stronger than anything in the world; she'd bend over backwards to protect them, so let's do something with that"

kaz himself grew up with a good family he had a brother he adored he had a great dad he cannot fathom the dysfunctional families where a parent legitimately despises their kid or vice versa, so when he does come across that reality . . . ?

cough Wylan and Jan cough

it honestly always throws him off similarly to coming across someone who has zero attachments or genuine affection for anyone else; it's wildly outlandish to him and honestly disturbing if he just cannot find anything to them

#〣♚{ headcanon } #i've talked about similar things before but i just !!! always find myself thinking of this stuff #one of so many reasons kaz tries so damn hard to at least SEEM heartless and uncaring #bc bOY HOWDY DOOOOO people CAN AND WILL use that against him #and the other interesting thing ??? :3c #people will use that against him in the worst and most TWISTED ways -- they won't bLUFF #meanwhile kaz may be a heckin bastard but he ain't about to hurt an innocent person #he utilizes that pressure point simply by putting on a convincing show ;) #let the person FEAR that their precious child is in danger and OOP his work is done #buuut he knows how cutthroat people of his ilk are #they would absolutely destroy those he cares about without blinking an eye just to get to him soooo #him gotta be careful ovo; #anyway don't mind me always finding ways to hyper-analyze this freak and be obsessed #i'd be here more often ACTUALLY WRITING with folks if yaknow #kaz was more cooperative and didn't just give me the biggest stink eye #each time i want him to go and interact with someone #honey i know you hate 99% of the population but we're here for a REASON-- plS

[monstriiss]

.

#the absolute clownery when someone has wronged you and then act like theyre the victim and fabricate lies about you so you seem worse #after acting like you were chill is honestly so funny to me #like... the audacity actually #and like you just know theyre still on it #and they think theyre being slick and you just there like 🧍‍♀️ you done #this isn't about anyone here we mutually blocked each other jdnfjwnfjdj #i just 🤦‍♀️ come on #anyway moral of the story just come up with your own lore instead of ripping off someone elses #actually hate how much of this happens in the rpc like can people fucking chill #;; ooc. #;; tbd. #;; negative tw.

[pepprs]

beaver gnawing on wood noises

#purrs #delete later #this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or #idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who #like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different. #and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the #knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know #there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find #magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o #one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me #the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all #these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live #with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it. #and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other. #and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so #hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they #are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who #im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all #appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a #symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will #never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want #love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3 #like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling #and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and #bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.

[heybaetae]

.

#jihope’s separation is gonna hit me harder than jinkook’s which was and still is already SO painful #just seems like they grew even closer than possible this past year #i know it’s not like they’re not gonna see each other and talk but it’s just so 💔💔💔 #i hate the thought of hobi not having jimin around him i absolutely hate it

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

Things about algorithms. In showing you relatable things it often diagnosis you with issues. All I’ve been seeing recently is anxious attachment posts

#that’s all I’ve seen for the last 30 mins #but I just saw one that was like if you were punished by the silent treatment as a kid how’s feeling like you must’ve done something wrong #when you don’t get a response? #and I swear that just opened up some sorta something in me #all of the sudden it was like I was just remembering every time I was at my lowest and my mother hated everything I did #whenever she got upset with me she’d ignore me for days and days on end #my dad would get the silent treatment too. we’d ask each other hey has the house been quiet lately? or is that just me? is she talking to u? #and I’d laugh. that’s so childish! but all of the sudden it’s like the weight of growing up like that just hit all at once #i didn’t deserve that. i was a kid. i was at my absolute worst and couldn’t bear the thought of having to live until I was 18 #yeah I lashed out sometimes but I was barely 14. I needed help. i needed love. and I got ignored. for days #i hid in my room where it didn’t feel like I was being ignored. god I was so lonely all the time #I’m 20 now. i still can’t seem to get out. not a single hobby of mine I do outside my room. it’s the only place I’ve ever felt safe #oh my god. no wonder why I wanted to die so badly. no wonder why I can’t stand it when people ignore me. it feels like I’m 13 again alone #now I just get told I’m too clingy and too much. i never want anyone to ever feel the way I had to #soup talks

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Saw @barbabetos's post doing this for her self insert so now I've done this for Dolasach hehe~

(Some Of) Dola's Aesthetic Inspo Board

some of the cast's thoughts on her fashion under the cut >w<

Lucifer: As a member of the 'black is the best neutral’ club, he’s rather fond of her fashion choices, and couldn’t help but be relieved that she’s influenced Satan’s taste and not the other way around through the years. Some choices are very much still choices to him, however; her louder, more elaborate coats and dresses sometimes still baffle him, but he knows better than to tell her to tone it down. Would trust her to pick out clothes for him, and sometimes asks for her opinion of which expensive black turtleneck works better with his expensive black slacks. They probably get their staples from the same place.

Mammon: They probably shop at the same places, honestly, so he more than approves of her taste in fashion. He thinks she carries herself and her clothes well and is tempted from time to time to steal some of the clothes she’s made herself because he knows they’ll sell for a good buck. He likes hanging around her whenever she pulls out something showy, and sometimes tries to convince her to go modeling with him—which 9 times out of 10 end in a refusal. Unless it’s for a solid floral/knitwear collection.

Levi: Admittedly rather flip-floppy with how much he likes what she wears, depending on the day. He veers between thinking she dresses like a total normie (the snobbish artsy type that looks down on low brow art too) and thinking she radiates protagonist energy with how much she stands out from the crowd whenever she wears one of her fancy coats, but for the most part he does like acknowledge that she's fairly well polished. He likes it best when she’s dressed down though, because he’s learned to associate it with her hanging out with him.

Satan: He thinks she looks stunning in anything, really, and he just thinks she looks even better when she loves what she wears. He's actually started absorbing a little of how she dresses over the course of their relationship, whether he realizes it or not, and Asmo's slipped a few thank you's in Dola's direction because of it. Takes some of her larger clothes to wear himself, since a good many of them are in his size. And if she has any complaints, she hasn't made them—probably because they both know a decent chunk of her clothes are actually taken from his and Solomon's closets.

Asmo: They also probably shop at the same places, so he's another who more than approves of her taste in fashion—though part of him does wish that she'd show off more skin, especially since he thinks her tattoos are really pretty. "You should show them off more!" he says, and she replies with telling him that she does show them off whenever its a good day to wear something sleeveless. "But what about the tattoos on your legs?" Oh, well, she'll think about that one in a few years. He's also very thankful that Satan's urge to want to see her in his clothes made him update his wardrobe somewhat, and thinks it's cute that she and Solomon match half the time. Loves when she wears florals and color.

Beel: "I think she looks good." is his usual comment on the matter—he's not really one to pay too much attention to what people wear, but he does pay enough attention to be able to pick out clothes she'd like whenever they go shopping for athletic wear. There are times though when he worries if she's overheating or if she might accidentally trip over her own skirt. Sometimes he also can't help but think the more realistic designs on her clothes look delicious—it's okay Beel, they really do look delicious. Sometimes she gets him to wear her clothes to stretch them out on purpose.

Belphie: He wishes she'd let him borrow her sweaters, they look so soft and comfy. As do a lot of her clothes, actually, but he knows he doesn't have clothes-stealing privileges. He does think a few of her clothes seem like a lot, and has noticed that she stands out a lot whenever they go out into the human world. But it's whatever, so long as she isn't bothered, right? Sometimes he makes hints that he likes the fabric of whatever she's wearing (more like really obvious comments, really) which does get him some clothes made with the same thing, but he finds that it just doesn't feel the same if they're new.

Diavolo: Yet another who probably shops at the same places Dola does. Of course he finds her fashion really interesting and never fails to let her know, though his compliments are usually just met with a polite, impersonal smile, unlike the others. He's a bit amused by how much she manages to blend in visually with the humans he tends to spend the most time with because of his work with Hotel Corvo and Three-Legged Crow group, but never comments on it. He has the feeling that she wouldn't really respond well to any attempts to joke around with her about that.

Barbatos: He appreciates how much thought and polish goes into her outfits, both in styling herself and in the garments themselves. Any compliments from him about her appearance are actually genuine, and really that's as far as most of their conversations go. He'll sometimes ask where she got her clothes just to mentally log it for when Diavolo needs to gift her anything on special occasions, and he makes it a point to pay attention so that whatever they get her is something she likes too much to never wear.

Solomon: As another member of the 'black is the best neutral' club, he's very fond of her fashion. And unlike Lucifer, he's very fond of her more out there choices in clothes, especially since he himself has quite the eye catching signature coat and goes around the human world wearing a hard to ignore selection of talismans and other enchanted accessories. They tend to have days where they match, and they regularly send each other pictures of really cool coats and jewelry. He too sometimes takes her clothes as equal exchange for her taking some of his. Credits himself as the starter of her fondness for unique outerwear after he gifted her a hooded cloak that resembles his starry coat after she became an official (read: legal) sorcerer.

Simeon: Finds the way she dresses to be interesting because it stands out from most of the humans he's encountered. It sometimes makes him wonder if going through the trouble of buying a new wardrobe to blend in with humans was actually necessary, but then her catches how people stare at Dola and her usual company of at least one demon and one immortal sorcerer. He finds himself going to her for advice on human world fashion, which amuses her because she doesn't think it's really that different from the Devildom's. She tries to get him hip to oversized sweaters and knitted cardigans, and it does happen—much to the joy of the Angel's Halo regulars.

Luke: Absolutely enamored whenever he sees her wearing something other than her all-black ensembles. He can tell that there's something to how she dresses because he doesn't miss all the people who give her odd looks and the occasional person who gasps and in surprise. He can't help but want to touch the designs on her clothes, especially the floral ones that look so real, and she does let him. Like Beel, he worries sometimes that she might overheat or trip over her skirts, but for the most part is content to just think she looks nice.

#dolasach #this ended up being so long sdhjkshdfg and feels a little like im heaping too much praise onto dola's fahsion sense HAHAHA #i just dont think anyone would hate how she dresses??? or they wont care lmao #does her aesthetic board even make sense sdhjkg doesn't seem as cohesive as some of the others i've seen #i thin i got the vibe right... i've always seen her to dress like the rich art collectors i encounter whenever im at auctions and #art fair ph... like they definitely have this vibe to them when they dress #some of my art professors too like #the vibe seems to be like 'does not give a shit at all/very grunge' or 'eccentricity/super specific vibe that gets weird looks' or #'prim and proper and just a touch out there' and i feel like dola goes with the latter two #absolutely see her getting some designer shit OR making her stuff herself tbh #so sorry that this is how her wardrobe is revealed to you guys sdhfjksdg i cant help but feel like this isnt the vibe you all see her with #because i never really draw her in any outfit like this #not in here is solomon and satan being really pleased with themselves for being the only people to see more than her #face an arms on a regular basis lmaooo theyre very happy that they know how all her tattoos connect with each other hehe

[criscura]

.

#when #when did being mean become the normal lexicon for fandom stuff #i can't do it #i think a lot of the time it's joking but even when someone likes something they seem so violent about it #like i absolutely have my characters I want to see beat down and stuff; everyone has THAT one guy they just want to see wrecked #but.... #it feels like the whole world does that 'overly familiar joking where you're actually just insulting someone' #i didn't like it when self-harm became the standard way to joke for my generation #and i don't like it when hurting other people is the standard way to joke for the next ones #i know i'm not.....i know this isn't a standard view and i'm more sensitive to it #but fucking please........... #stop being so MEaN to each other........ #i can't tell if people like or hate each other a lot of the time ><

[that-random-person-again]

They hate each other

They ain't the main characters in this au but I wanted to draw them. I might actually post about the main au story later hopefully.

#ahit #a hat in time #ahit au #ahit snatcher #ahit florist #yeah here they absolutely hate each other #florist doesn't know Snatcher was the prince and Snatcher doesn't know the dweller is the florist #honestly the dweller seems like a really funny name for the florist for this au so I might make her new name that #also this isn't a ship thing #i can't believe I've been only drawing the not main characters of this au oof

[ilsafaaust]

.

#okay so I’ve finished my gg rewatch (absolutely flew through it) so many thoughts #I first started watching whilst s6 aired so I reckon I was like 13 or so? and I’ve rewatched a couple times since but it’s been a while #I didn’t realise how much my opinions on it would change so excuse the rambling #I remember hating jenny/vanessa/ivy as characters and honestly this time around I didn’t really ‘hate’ anyone #I thought all the characters were pretty insufferable at points and unlikeable in certain storylines and what not #the only characters I properly hated were william and bart just because they had no redeeming qualities whatsoever #don’t even get me STARTED on the finale lol #chuck and blair really were the only couple who seemed to have a ending deserving of their arc #although rewatching it I actually didn’t mind dan and blair at all so I really wouldn’t have minded who she ended up with but chuck is the #logical choice as their stories always came back to each other #I will die on the hill that says it should have been rufly and serenate #I think everyone agrees that derena s1 was adorable and they worked but once they broke up idk they wrapped it up nicely and left them open #to continue to grow by themselves/with others #them ending up together felt forced rushed and unnecessary #I really disliked teen blair (lol don’t crucify me) #she clearly had issues and what not but I’d forgotten just how bad the bitchiness was #idk maybe it just reminds me of too many people I knew in school and was uncomfy to watch at times #I think lily might be my fave character? #I never thought I’d say that but she bought just the right amount of bitch class and entertainment #and I hate how much they butchered her character in late s5/6 #the CHOICES she made were incorrect #she never would’ve picked bart over rufus (she was legit ending her marriage to bart in s2 to be with rufus?) #the only way she would’ve would’ve been to spite rufus but for her to bart first over chuck? absolutely not #and to insinuate she ended up with WILLIAM?! a travesty x #s6 serena was also not it (don’t get me started on the sex tape) #I forgot how much of a player nate was too haha #but yes many thoughts and feelings but was good fun and I’d forgot just how easy a watch it was #okay ramble over love y’all

[randomcanbian]

#the way op is talking about the wilds HAHAHA based!!! #god like--all fandoms have awful subgroups #but the wilds fandom seems to be the loudest and most active on twitter and the people there have the shittiest takes ever #not to mention how loud they are about how much they hate the writers and the male actors like--shut the fuck up #they lack any kind of introspection and compassion #like it is so fucking wild how they talk about how the characters make them better people and in the same breath say the most vilest things #also like LMFAO they're such huge fans of the actresses but then they say the worst stuff about the male actors? like lmao if they met you #in real life (the actresses) and knew what you've been doing they will absolutely HATE YOU #get it through your thick fucking skulls #that said though the handful of people i do respect are so fucking lovely i love them ;o; #it feels like we are on a raft holding on to each other and trying to love the show and appreciate the characters together and ignore #how mean and annoying those shitheads are

[samiferboy]

😔

#avery.txt #im sorry but. i would like d****** so much more if soooo many ppl who ship it seem to like. ignore half of their relationship #it's fucking contentious! it's complicated! they hurt each other a lot! that's what makes it interesting!!!! #they absolutely have cute little moments and i do ship them i just do it differently so i see posts abt it and go ????? #ig i just find it less compelling than other pairings? like i don't hate it im just not like. looking for it. ig #do i think they fucked nasty at some point? most likely. i also think they had (varying levels of) feelings for each other #i just. dont find it as interesting as other ships. sorry #like my favorite posts abt it are the weird fucked up ones 😵‍💫 sorryyyyyyyy

[autismserenity]

know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!

hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.

I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.

It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.

Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.

It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.

(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."

Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.

Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.

People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.

(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.

I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.

She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.

And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.

He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.

He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.

I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.

But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.

It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.

(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)

(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.

We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.

People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.

Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.

3,000,000.

Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.

Five times as many.

That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:

Here's a non-paywalled link to it:

https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates

Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:

Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.

You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.

They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)

#covid isn't over #covid 19 #disability rights #disability advocacy #wear a mask #covid conscious #covid cautious #mask up #wall of words #public health #health care