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moonflms · 3 years

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➷｡˚ alcoholic — nct jaehyun

PROLOGUE ༄ - —wherein jaehyun's cravings leads both of you to an alcoholic atmosphere.

"to be drunk and in love in seoul city" —johnny and jaehyun's cravings got the best of them. in the end, johnny had to call in you to pick up your husband who was tipsy over alcohol-flavored cookies.

PAIRING ༄ - husband! jaehyun x wife! fem reader, husband! johnny x fem reader's friend

WARNINGs༄ - DRINKING THEMES

GENREs ༄ - fluff, crack, night cravings, married life au, drinking, boy's night out, college squad

W. COUNT ༄ - around 1k+

NOTES ༄ - third oneshot here ! CONTAINS DRINKING THEMES. expect inaccuracies since i reffered to google for some info, i don't drink since i'm a minor. expect grammar and typo errors. simple wording.

do not repost. copyright belongs to @moonflms 2021. reblogs and likes are deeply appreciated! originally posted on my twitter (@suhhvsco) and wattpad (@johnsparrot) . enjoy reading!

cw // drinking, alcohol

happy nct day! <3

masterlist

—start

Incoming call... Johnny

(italic- jn, bold- y/n)

"Y/n-iee?"

"Johnny? Hi! Any problem?"

"Hello?"

"Uh... kind of? Don't get mad."

"O..kay?"

"..."

"Suh Youngho."

"She's doing the full name thing, Jae." You heard Johnny from the opposite line.

"Sooo, I invited you and Jae over right?" You remained silent.

"Well, we did what we usually do, hahaha." You listened to him giggle nervously.

"That is?" You asked as if you didn't knew the answer.

"...drinking." You could imagine his nervous face, gulping silently.

"I-I mean that uh, Yoonoh kinda dr– I mean not drink but—" You stopped Johnny from sugarcoating the problem.

"Cut to the chase, drunk?"

"Well, good thing he–"

"Johnny." you cut him off once again.

"He's leaning towards the tipsy side," Johnny admitted.

"Coming." You ended the call as you heard Johnny mumble a 'sorry'.

"And I was going to binge-watch that new drama," You sighed.

You took your car keys and walked out of the house, towards your car. Your car made a beep as it unlocked. You opened the driver's seat and sat inside. You started and prepped the engine for a while. Gripping the steering wheel, you stepped on the gas pedal. You were now on your way to Johnny's manor.

Johnny had invited both you and Jaehyun for some drinks at his place, having a small catch-up. It was quite a while since you three had sat down and relaxed. You three were together since college! You thought of the invite for a while, but declined and let Jaehyun go alone. You decided to give them their 'boys night' after all their business conferences and the likes. Plus, there's this new drama on Netflix you wanna start on.

It all started with those two, then 'til they met you and your other college squad members. You trusted Johnny and Jaehyun anyways.

You weren't mad at Johnny. You were simply annoyed by how your self-care night was disrupted by a call about your husband who was laying on Johnny's living room carpet.

You and Johnny knew he had great alcohol tolerance, so it brought you to a surprise when Johnny called earlier about picking him up. Usually, it was you who needed help to get home.

You also found it cute whenever Jaehyun was in a drunk-ish state. He could start by getting silent then becoming quite clingy and fluffy for the first few whiles. And you had to sigh in relief because you wouldn't have to struggle to get Jaehyun home.

God, he was a lot taller and buffer than you, knowing that the other buddy was too jelly-like drunk-ish as well to help you out. And who knows what Jaehyun has in store.

Thinking of the possible scenarios you avoided, you kinda need a shot or two now.

You were nearing Johnny's house, which was around the corner. Not that long after, your car was parked behind Jaehyun's.

You then turned the car off and stepped out. With the car key with you, closing the driver's door and locking it right after. You walked across the porch and stood in front of the doorstep, you rang the doorbell twice.

It didn't take long for Johnny to answer the door. There he stood in front of you, sheepishly smiling. It was obvious that he drank, noting the pinkish tint of his eyes –but he seemed completely sober. He first mumbled a sorry before hugging you.

"I'll have him pick up the ca–"

You didn't finish the sentence as you spotted his maroon polo had some white powder near the lower-stomach area, you shot him a somewhat concerning glare, Johnny –completely getting what you meant– stifled a chuckle

"And no. that's not any of that high stuff, y/n. flour," he cleared. Now you wondered why he was covered in flour.

He guided you inside the house as if you haven't drop by a million times. You decided to start a short conversation. In the end, you did end up coming over. "So, where's Y/f/n?" You asked Johnny where his wife was, and he simply answered 'out' as she went to Incheon in advance to pick up Johnny's in-laws later by dawn.

As he guided you, the living room started to appear before you, then there you saw. There you saw your husband sitting on the carpeted floor, leaning on the room's huge couch behind him, munching on a cookie, which explains the flour on Johnny's shirt. He looked at you and smiled, showing his dimples. "So Youngho, was exactly happened?" Unbothered, you asked for context.

"Okay before anything, he suggested it." As Johnny explained his right hand continuously rubbed his nape.

Johnny and Jaehyun craved for treats, so they baked cookies... with a twist. they decided to make the cookies chocolate chips and alcohol-flavored.

Johnny did confess that they experimented for a while and eye-balled the measurements, ending up putting a lot more alcohol than needed. Knowing that Jaehyun absolutely loves cookies (maybe his guilty pleasure) didn't hesitate to munch on more than 2 pieces. It may sound dumb, but hey, it's the creativity that counts you guess? Ever since you met the boys it felt like you were a mother to two huge babies.

"And what made you eyeball this recipe?" You took a skim at the recipe they printed out. "The batter was too dry and doughy, we did what needed to be fixed."

"Good. But you should've used water to thin out the batter instead of adding more liqueur. Look at the guy." Both you and Johnny's view diverted to Jaehyun who was blushed and smiley at your presence.

You walked over to the lounge and sat on the fluffy carpet beside Jaehyun. "Hey baby" Jaehyun gushed and kissed your cheek as he immediately rested his head on your shoulder, his arm snuggling around your body.

You held his wrist as you leveled his cookie to your mouth, taking a bite. The cookie was good and for sure, it was strong. You took Jaehyun's shot glass and took some shots straight. Johnny came over in time to see you getting in action, he continued himself to squat in front of the two of you, with the coffee table in between, occupied with the tray of cookies and some opened drinks.

"You guys sure make a great couple" Johnny laughed as he shook his head seeing you take some shots, you three loved drinking together. Silently, you were relieved that Jaehyun was mostly sober, 'semi-drunk'. Let's say he was too sleepy to drive himself home.

You stayed at Johnny's for a while, continuing some talks and snacking on those cookies. Jaehyun slowly fell asleep on your shoulder making both you and Johnny giggle at the rare sighting. You softly laid Jaehyun's head against the couch for a while as you stood up and started to clean up, helping Johnny who started.

After quite a while, making the chit-chat the main reason for the continuous delays, you both finished cleaning both the living room and the kitchen which was a mess from the baking. You left Johnny who was packing a few of the cookies for you to take home and headed again to Jaehyun, who was now stretching on his seat.

Jaehyun woke up from his nap, stretching out the stiffness from sitting for the past few hours. You softly pinched his cheeks as you helped him up. He was awake but groggy. You hugged him from the side acting as a support while he tried to gather himself, slightly leaning some weight on you. Johnny both escorted you out to the doorstep after he handed you the container of cookies.

"I gave you the rest or else Y/f/n's pregnancy cravings gets the best of her."

"Thanks! Still betting on blue, Johnny" With that Jaehyun scrunched his brows as pats Johnny's shoulder as he sides with him, rooting for a girl.

Jaehyun took some slow steps as he approached the car. You guided him to his side before heading back to the driver's seat.

When both of you were buckled into your seats you started the car engine. You honked as a sign for Johnny inside the house, letting him know about your departure. You were now on your way to your last destination, the Jung residences.

Jaehyun was napping peacefully as you played some music to fill the quiet air. After a few songs, Jaehyun woke up again and was up for the rest of the ride. He started to accompany you as he started to sing to whatever was playing, he started to sing with his eyes closed.

On red lights, you couldn't help but look at the male beside you, immersed in his element. Your husband singing off to a night drive playlist, lids shut, and his face was tinted with a light color of blush. The view was immaculate. Even if it's been a year after the marriage, you still felt butterflies like a teen gal.

The next song started, and perhaps it was one of Jaehyun's faves. He slowly opened his eyes as he looked at you, eyes sparkling. He rested his arm on the compartment in between the seats as he tries to get closer to you. "to be young and in love in– babe, green light." You snapped yourself out from adoring your man and continued driving. Jaehyun chuckled and continued on with singing.

"To be 'drunk' and in love in Seoul city" He tugged your hand that was resting on the hand brake as he intertwined his hand with yours, making it rest by his cheek. He played with your wedding ring, "damn" he whispered and smiled.

"I like me better when I'm with you." He slowly brought your intertwined hand to his lips as he placed a soft peck. You took a glance as he smiled. You felt your cheeks heat up.

The rest of the drive, you both vibed to the music, even singing along. You were both enjoying the atmosphere, the alcoholic atmosphere. Once you both arrived home, you hopped out of the car and took some breathers. Jaehyun managed to balance himself on the way inside the house.

Inside, Jaehyun plopped on the couch as he sighed. You brought back a glass of water from the fridge and placed it on the small table. Jaehyun held your hand and pulled you down, making you hover above him. His polo softly reeked of the alcohol he had, the smell slowly sent up your nose. He held you in place as his arms were around your hips, slowly after admiring you he laid his lips on yours.

The soft taste of chocolate from the cookies and liqueur filling up, leaving an aftertaste. Breaking away, you laid on top of him he continues to trap you in his arms. Your hand slowly made its way to his head, fiddling with his hair. You buried your face into his chest as you slowly started to close your eyes.

Jaehyun whispered to your crown "g'night baby" rubbing his palm against your back. "i love you to the moon and back."

the night ended with soft snores and you against him in his arm.

—end

➷｡min's letter: so liqueur is like a sweet version of liquor which is preferred for baking (esp sweet desserts). well, i got something to try out once i'm able to drink. btw let's be moots and check out my masterlist! all rights reserved @moonflms 2021

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bakumu-archive · 3 years

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♡ RULES ♡

♡ DO NOT SHARE MY WORK OR MY ACCOUNT WITH MINORS

I understand that I cant stop minors from reading content, but please be respectful and do not interact. I don't want you to like or reblog or comment because it makes me very uncomfortable.

minors need to stay out of adult spaces for the comfort and safety of all parties. if writers rules keep being broken we will just leave and there will be no more writing. so if you enjoy fandom spaces and want them to continue to exist you need to follow peoples rules. please, it is not hard to be kind and courteous.

♡ I WRITE DARK CONTENT OCCASIONALLY -- PLEASE READ WARNINGS

everything will be tagged appropriately using @rat-suki‘s guide to trigger warnings found here.

essentially i will tag tw with both [ tw trigger ] and [ trigger tw ] when allowed. certain triggers need to be tagged with [ tw.trigger ] since tumblr likes to be difficult (like with daddy kink) but I will do my best.

if i ever miss any warnings please tell me!!! i am only human and sometimes i miss things

♡ do not repost my work anywhere, but reblogs are welcomed and appreciated (please i have a praise kink)

♡ all characters aged up to be at least 18 in any sexual context

♡ dont send hate because I will just block you and delete it. dont waste your time or mine.

♡ INTERACTION

my inbox is always open for thirsts but i do not take requests

you can send me twitter porn links, hentai, and other horny things, just add a little warning in the message that the link goes to that!

any and all nicknames are okay with me, you can call me whatever you want ♡

i tend to use pet names like babe so if that makes you uncomfortable let me know.

i also use dude and bro as gender neutral terms of endearment so same as above, please let me know. this is a safe space for everyone and the last thing i want to do is make people uncomfortable!

♡ MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS

MHA: bakugou, denki, hawks, shinsou, kiri, mina, sero, natsuo, endeavor

HQ: atsumu, kyotani, daichi, issei, kuroo, oikawa, ushijima, hinata, bokuto, semi

JJK: sukuna, naoya, toji, mei mei,

Others: kagami taiga, kisaki tetta, zenitsu, levi ackerman, jean kirstein, guren ichinose

i will thirst about others but these are just my favs lol

♡ WHAT I WRITE ABOUT

there arnt a lot of kinks I dont like so im really open to writing most things:

smut, angst, fluff, creampies, breading kink, praise kink, possessivness, biting, marking, bruises, daddy, overstim, power play, a/b/o, public sex, size kink, infidelity, noncon/dubcon, consensual noncon, gangbangs, gun play, almost anything really but...

there are a few things that I cant ever see myself writing:

snuff, scat, watersports, and incest.

theres nothing wrong if you have those kinks (even i read them sometimes) i just dont think I will write them! this is a very accepting space and we dont kink shame here!

♡ DNI ♡

IF YOU HAVE NO AGE IN YOUR BIO YOU’RE GETTING BLOCKED

if you are a minor

send anon hate

participated in a character hate night

homophobic, racist, transphobic, etc.

if you are against dark content creators

♡ TAGS ♡

��.thoughts - the random shit that comes out of my head

🌼.mail - for asks and replies

♡ EMOJI ANONS ♡

🦋 👾 ⭐

©BAKUMU - ALL WORK IS PROPERTY OF BAKUMU. DO NOT EDIT, REPOST OR REUPLOAD MY WORK.

< back to navi

#rules #dni #navi #dont rb this

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hankpayton · 3 years

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Henry Payton | What Are Cyberbullying, Trolling and Cyberstalking?

Cyberbullying | Henry Payton

Our culture and probably most others have historically felt that bullies are bad news, but that being bullied is also a rite of passage. We often think that bullying tends to end with grammar school. Nothing is further from the truth.

As a culture, we tolerate and often reward adult bullies – especially bully managers in the workplace. We celebrate bullies in entertainment as warriors and winners (even as we also celebrate a bully getting his or her comeuppance), and although hazing in schools, the military, and fraternities are getting pushback from the culture, we otherwise do little to eradicate bullying. Our politicians are often famously bullying in nature. Unless there are dead bodies, it seems that we expect people to just put up with it (or fight back).

As harmful and heinous as bullying can be, cyberbullying takes things a step further. Cyberbullying uses the Internet and other electronic forms of technology to post mean or embarrassing photos, messages, emails, or to make threats. However, the attacker is often anonymous – unknown – and there is no one to fight back against. As a result, the potential cyberbully is often emboldened to create as much havoc with their victim’s life as possible. The potentially viral nature of such posts – that is, the ability for these posts to be replicated widely, quickly, and endlessly – doesn’t happen in a face-to-face encounter.

A typical (non-cyber) bullying event happens at a moment in time and then is over (although another such event may occur). The bullying happens at a location in space – a street corner or the office, perhaps. A bullying is often witnessed, with the victimizer known to everyone present. A cyberbullying incident, on the other hand, can be spread to hundreds of people in seconds and millions of people in fairly short order, can persist for a lengthy period, can be distributed worldwide, and has no one to answer for their action.

As a result, damage from such an incident can recur and echo over and over. Sadistic sorts can take pleasure in repeating and reposting, and even create web sites to encourage their persistence. These sites cause a pile-on effect, with fellow nasty travelers putting in their own often excruciatingly foul insults, reposting the private images, and multiplying the harm. Some may not realize or care about the damage they cause; others delight in it.

One unfortunate creation of cyberbullying is “revenge porn.” There are sites on the Internet that are in place solely to embarrass and hurt people (mostly women) by electronically publishing and reposting sexual images of a former lover or interest. Some such postings are designed to embarrass associates of the person whose pornographic image is being posted. The target may be the former boyfriend or husband with the victim being “collateral damage.” Even well-known individuals may participate in the ugly behavior, such as the recent case of a hip-hop star and his site featuring pornographic video of a girlfriend of hip-hop in his beef with a rap.

Many victims of seemingly endless cyberbullying, including clients who have come to us for help, have had their self-esteem devastated. Others have been driven to substance abuse, dropping out of school or society, and such bullying behavior has even been implicated in suicides. While not usually considered a crime, it is far from victimless.

Cyberstalking | Henry Payton

Cyberstalking is a more specific form of cyberbullying, and like cyberbullying, is much enabled by the anonymity possible via the Internet. It is the use of the Internet and other technology to harrass someone, although some cyberstalking can be secret for a time. While a “traditional” stalker may shadow a victim’s movements, spying on them from hidden areas, or with binoculars or telescopes, the cyberstalker keeps an eye on their target(s) electronically.

Much of our social life is semi-public these days, on social media such as Twitter & Facebook. The Internet makes it easy for a person to hide his or her identity, make a fake identity, or pose as someone else – as a false friend perhaps – making it simple to spy on a person’s activities via social networking. Like cyberbullying, the ease of anonymity on the Internet may embolden the cyberstalker, thinking (often correctly) that they will not be found out.

We regularly encounter cases where the stalker has managed to research and guess credentials for their victim’s email or other online accounts making it easy to discover the victim’s whereabouts, conversations and correspondence. In some of these cases, the perpetrator will even impersonate the victim, sending faked emails and messages, posting as the victims themselves, or publishing embarrassing images as if the victim herself were the source of the statements, pictures, or videos.

This has come to be understood and adjudged to mean that the government can’t keep you from saying your piece, no matter how much the government, or anyone else might disagree. This applies to all government in the U.S. – Federal, State, local entities and public officials of those public entities. You are free to speak in “the Public Square.” Note that the concept of the Public Square applies only to governmental entities, property and officials. It does not apply to private or commercial property. Property owners or business owners can prohibit you from saying certain things, or from saying anything at all on or within their own property, business, or broadcasts unless it is otherwise allowed.

Stalkers can find a way to infiltrate themselves into the fabric of the victim’s financial, social, and family life, leaving personal lives in tatters. Though it is easy to read about such events and behavior – it’s all over the news – the victims often find themselves not being taken seriously, with friends and loved ones calling her neurotic or paranoid. Because the cyberstalker is often trying to damage the victim’s reputation, the reactions of those close to the victim often further the stalker’s aims.

And while cyberstalking is illegal in many places around the country and around the world, these actions rarely rise to the level law enforcement needs to see in order to take it seriously, or to investigate. Read between the lines in the news and you will find that nearly all arrests that include cyberstalking also include a dire threat, a violation of an existing restraining order, ID theft, theft of physical property, or child abuse.

Trolling | Henry Payton

Internet trolling is a behavior wherein the troll intends to inflame, upset, or otherwise damage civil discourse. In the context of this series of articles, it tends toward disrupting the online or public communication of others through the use of vile invective, insults and other verbal havoc. It is often misogynistic. The ability to be anonymous on the Internet removes much of the inhibition a person might otherwise feel to behave so uncivilly.

#Hank Payton #Henry Payton

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resonanteye · 4 years

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you've arrived

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The Great Awakening

You have arrived.

It’s been a long journey. Take a moment. Take a deep breath. Get a glass of water and sit down. This is going to be long. It’s going to make you uncomfortable. It’s not what you thought it was going to be, but it’s what you didn’t even know you needed to hear. The totality of this is greater than the sum of its parts and I implore you to read all the way to the end. It’s going to make you angry. It’s going to make you feel a lot of things you don’t want to feel, but you wanted to wake up and this was the only way. You are going to want to dismiss it. People will tell you not to read it. Belief is the most powerful force in this universe, and your belief is about to be challenged in a way you didn’t expect. Fortunately, you don’t have to actually believe anything written here. All you have to do is read it with an open mind. If you get to the end of this your thinking will change. You will be one step closer to being free, and then you can then go on to free the others. Where we go one, we go all.

Before we go any further, we need to set some ground rules:

1) The language here is going to seem really… off, but I promise you it will make sense by the end. This document is designed to be interpreted _literally_. I can’t stress that enough. Do not look for hidden clues—there are none. There is no misdirection, no deeper meaning, no numerology or special calendar to look at. This is the end of the line. This is a 1:1 conversation, speaking as open and honestly as possible. We are just two people having a chat. Any other meaning you try to derive outside of what is written here is on you.

2) Much of this is about language. To some, the language is going to seem very strange, crude, cryptic, nerdy, or childish at times. I’m trying to be as authentic as possible. Please understand it is not meant to be interpreted as racist, sexist or bigoted. Internet culture, “the chans” in particular, have a kind of language that is systemically all these things, but people do not interpret the language literally in use. I will try to keep it as civil and digestible as possible.

3) Be kind to yourself. Be kind to each other.

And before we even really get started, we need to everyone on the same level, with something that approaches a fair knowledge base. Over the past three years people have joined this movement from all around the world. Q Drops have been translated into dozens of languages. There are now mobile apps, shirts, hats, podcasts and documentaries. QAnon means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. As I’m writing this, former military generals are swearing oaths to QAnon. The movement has grown beyond anything I could have possibly imagined. Many people are joining the QAnon movement, but they don’t really understand what they are reading. They are confused. I want to talk just briefly about the history of a part of the internet where QAnon comes from, not in an attempt to legitimize myself as some elder sage, but to build understanding. To truly understand all of this you need context. Context about the people and platforms that now bring you your information—and ultimately, your news.

Some of you go all the way back to the Something Awful forums and the days when platforms like IRC and ICQ still felt new. Some of you literally just joined yesterday. I am going to give you an abbreviated history of the chans as it pertains QAnon. Most people know 4chan and 8chan as the place where Q lives online, but they don’t really understand them. “No outside comms” seems to be what the 99% of QAnon understands—that these are the “official” channels where Q posts. But have you ever been there? Have you ever really gone to boards and looked at them? Some you have, but the vast, vast majority of QAnon followers have not. Perhaps that is no surprise, as they aren’t easily comprehensible. So, let’s talk briefly about three things: Something Awful, 4chan, and 8chan/8kun. And I do mean briefly. You could write a book about each of these, but we can move forward with some broad strokes that should give you the context you need to truly understand Q.

We have to quickly go back to 1999. In 1999 someone known as “Lowtax” created a website called Something Awful (which I will refer to as SA going forward), which still exists today. You can go and check it out if you like. Before Facebook and Twitter, before YouTube even existed, and even before most people knew what Google was, there was Something Awful. SA has been a lot of things over the years, but it is mostly a forum—a message board. On SA everyone was mostly anonymous because, at the time, no one other than academics used their real name on the internet. SA was a semi-private board. It was the internet’s first large “secret society” of sorts. It was mostly focused on video games and Adobe Flash content, and it birthed some of the internet’s very first memes. It was a trollish but a (mostly) well-meaning community of nerds. Some members, known as the “GoonSquad” or just “Goons” would often group up and bombard players of the early MMORPGs to troll them. It was (mostly) harmless fun and pranks. In the late 90’s and early 00’s only nerds were on the internet anyway, so it was mostly nerds trolling other nerds in video games. You could identify other Goons by asking as simple question: “Do you have stairs in your house?” If someone answered, “I am protected,” then you knew they were a fellow Goon.

Why am I talking about this? Well, if you had to pick a place to put on a birth certificate for where internet culture itself was born, Something Awful would be that place.

A few years later someone known at the time only as “moot” created a website called 4chan. 4chan is a fully anonymous (seemingly, anyway) message board, based on a Japanese message board design known as 2chan. It’s actually better described as an “imageboard,” since you have to upload an image with every post. 4chan was open to all. There were few rules, and on some boards—none. Post whatever you want, do whatever you want. For the most part, everyone except moot himself was simply labeled as, “Anonymous.” This is where the “Anon” in QAnon comes from.

Like SA, 4chan was originally a haven for nerds talking about video games and anime. But its anonymous and open nature allowed to build its own form. The most iconic memes, from lolcats themselves to Rickrolling and beyond, started on 4chan. SA might have birthed internet culture, but 4chan gave it form—and it still powers much of the creativity of internet itself to this day. The anonymous nature of the form allowed for a kind of collaborative creativity that—and I truly believe this—has changed the world for the better. It’s a special kind of creativity and one that you really need to experience if you want to understand it. On 4chan you will see new creative concepts born and shaped in real time, and you can watch them spread around the world. You can contribute whenever and whatever you like, and the community then gets to riff on your contribution. 4chan has even birthed new formats and new types of creativity. I want to talk about some of these specifically, to provide some kind of context for what “the chans” are really all about it, but we are just scraping the surface here. You might have to Google around for quite some time to truly understand this if you are new.

Among the myriad of things that get posted on 4chan, one of them is known as a “green text” or “green text story.” A green text is a short story format that includes green colored text and a small picture, often a meme of some kind, like a Pepe. It can be pages long or just a few lines. It is often written in broken sentences and shorthand. They often start with the line, “be me…” and then launch into a short narrative. They can be true or fictional or somewhere in-between. They are often designed to be shocking, depressing or trollish, but they can also be uplifting. It is perhaps the simplest and most pervasive form of content on 4chan other than image macros themselves. I’m going to coin a new phrase and call this a form of Creative Anonymous Fiction or CAF for short. The anonymous nature of the platform lets you tell a story in a new way. Often times people will take green texts and remix them, giving them a different ending. I could post examples, but I’d be doing you a disservice. You are better off looking them up and reading them yourself until you understand it.

Green texts can sometimes end with what’s called copypasta, which is a type of bamboozle. Copypasta is a snippet of short form copy that gets reposted over and over again. A bamboozle is a type of switcheroo—you start telling what the reader feels is a novel story, building to some climax, and then end it with a classic copypasta for that “gotcha” moment. It is, essentially, a prank. A text based prank. This sort of content now exists all over the place, far beyond the reaches of just 4chan. You might be wondering where all of this is going… we’ll get to that. In some ways this is actually the most important part of this entire document. I wanted to make sure that everyone has some context for what is to come, but I can assure this is going somewhere. Please do not let this extensive clarification distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.

So that’s a quick overview of the playful side of things. But on 4chan you will also see some dark and disgusting shit. With the good comes the bad—and the bad can be really bad. Because everyone is anonymous, everyone subject to being hassled by other anonymous posters. Everyone is gay, a fag, a retard or an autist. A thread without insults is a failed thread. The more people who tell you how gay and fake your shit is, the more people actually like it. 4chan may have given us lolcats, but it also ended up being a place for violence, misogyny, bullying, extreme racism—and even far more heinous things. For 12 years moot moderated the site. May criticized him at the time, but I think we can all look back now and know that he really did a fantastic job. For over a decade he was the beam scale that balanced free speech against the darkest depths of humanity—and I meant that literally. He developed a system to help identify “anonymous” posters and worked with the FBI to put away pedophiles, child pornographers, and even would-be domestic terrorists. He did this all while being told constantly how gay he was and how many dicks he sucked (as is the way). Moot was a hero we never deserved.

The two most popular boards on 4chan are /pol/ (for politics) and /b/ (which stands for random). People who post on these boards are often referred to as /pol/tards and /b/tards respectively, with /b/ being one of the more nefarious (but also one of the more creative) boards as it had essentially no rules on what you could post. If “tard” sounds harsh, know that it is said lovingly. Even seniority within the community itself is derogatory. There are “oldfags” and “newfags,” where being called an oldfag is an informal compliment and recognition of seniority. Opinions will differ, but oldfags are generally recognized as being those who were around 4chan since before the pool was closed—one of the very first large raids. In 2006 a sort of prank was organized on 4chan by a group of Anons to “raid” the Flash game Habbo Hotel. Hundreds of people created black avatars in the game and went around spamming the chat with racist and anti-Semitic nonsense, drawing swastikas and blocking off the pool area in the game, declaring that the, “Pool’s closed due to AIDS.” Why? For laughs. The average age of the userbase for this game was around 15 years old. Then again, the average age of the then Anons was probably the same. There is a lot more to this story, and I encourage you to look it up if you have the time, but the point is that this event eventually lead to 30 seconds in the spotlight on some news outlets. This was the first big event that was attributed to 4chan and Anonymous as a group. It was the first time that most people outside of the depths of the internet had ever even heard of 4chan.

After this, more newfags joined. 4chan grows and the subgroup of /b/tards and /pol/tards that would come be to known more formally as “Anonymous” starts to take shape. All the while, moot is trying to balance what content stays and what content goes. The rest, as they say, is history. You start to see all kind of digital activism being organized on 4chan. Raids turn into DDoS (Distributed denial of service) attacks that shut down websites. People get arrested. Splinter groups form. Anonymous becomes more political. /b/ and /pol/ start to leak out of the internet and into the real world. People start protesting various things, like the Church of Scientology, wearing the iconic mask that the character V wears in the movie V for Vendetta. Logos are created. Anonymous comes into its own as a digital force. The group aligns itself with what DnD players call, “Chaotic Good.” Anons enjoy playing a character that is either an anti-hero or anti-villain. Sometimes Anons will pretend to have some super elite hacker ability, and while that is sometimes true it is mostly embellishment. Some people refer to this as Live Action Role Playing (LARP or LARPing), but it is not quite that. LARPing is when people take their Dungeons and Dragons game to the next level or dress up like Harry Potter characters and roleplay out in the woods. What happens on 4chan is very much a form of roleplaying, but one specifically shaped by the anonymous nature of the platform. I’m going to coin a second term here—Creative Anonymous Role Playing, or CARPing. More on this later.

Moot continues to run 4chan until 2015. During that time, it gets harder and harder to manage. Anonymous becomes more unruly, and the site starts to spiral. Cyberbulling goes to a whole new level. There are celebrity nude photo leaks. Gamergate. A series of actual murders and killings get posted on 4chan. 4chan didn’t cause them, but that’s where the content ended up living. The site starts to become unmanageable with the old rules in place. Why moot bothered to keep it going I’ll never understand. There was never much money in the site itself and it always seemed like a huge headache. But the site starts to take moderation more seriously as harassment ramps up.

Boards like /pol/ start to get more strict rules. Even /b/ starts to see more and more threads get removed. In 2013, a piece of shit Anon known as “Hotwheels” doesn’t like what’s happening to 4chan decides to splinter the group and starts 8chan. While moot is trying to wrangle 4chan into something better, Hotwheels goes in the reverse direction and starts empowering (and in some ways, encouraging) harassment with things like Gamergate. 8chan doesn’t remove anything. No morals. Doesn’t matter who gets hurt. Free speech above all.

This stance obviously has consequences. While moot would work with law enforcement, Hotwheels gives them the proverbial middle finger. As a result, all of the bad actors now had a new platform. You see swatting become a popular tactic. More and more violent threats. While moot would work with the FBI to help track down pedophiles and terrorists, Hotwheels decides to relocate the site to Philippines (where the age of consent is 12, mind you). He can barely keep the site running. No one wants to host this content; he can’t even keep the .com anymore because the registrars don’t want to work with him. Hotwheels finds some other shitstain in Manila who runs a pig farm and a porn site designed to get around Japanese pornography laws. They partner up. After three shootings (Christchurch, Poway, and El Paso) in 2019 where the shooters posted their manifesto to 8chan, Hotwheels finally admits the site got away from. The site shut down for a while, but the pig farmer and his son started it back up and rebranded it as 8kun after finding a Russian hosting provider who was willing to host the content. It is now a safe harbor for literally the worst of humanity, and you don’t have to take my word for it. Even Hotwheels himself now advocates for shutting the site down, but the pig farmer and his son have run away with it.

This is where your information comes from. This is where it lives.

Now that you have a better understanding of who is creating this information—your news—it is time. This next part is going to be hard.

You have been bamboozled. QAnon is a hoax. It may well be one of—if not THE—greatest, most pervasive, hoaxes of all time.

How do I know this? Because I am Q. In fact, I am the original Q. One of them, anyway.

This is the point where many will stop reading. You are likely either angry or starting to feel embarrassed. I’m going to ask you to try and put those feelings aside for a moment and keep reading. You have absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed. This isn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong. You got caught in a world you didn’t fully understand and there are people now trying to prey on you at every corner to sell you hats and t-shirts.

If you are willing to go forward, allow me to explain.

What has happened here is what I’m going to call a “Galaxy Quest” moment. There is a lovely movie that came out in 1999 called Galaxy Quest. If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s worth a watch. It’s a family friendly comedy about an advanced alien race who watches a TV show made on Earth called Galaxy Quest. Galaxy Quest is a TV show, but the aliens don’t know it. They refer to the TV show as the, “historical documents.” They built an entire civilization around the historical documents, never realizing it was a TV show. It’s a fun concept. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. Anyway, the aliens weren’t stupid. In fact, they were the furthest thing from stupid as they made all the science fiction from the show come to life (although they are portrayed are dumb for the sake of comedy). The aliens simply did not have the context necessary to understand what they were seeing. They didn’t realize it was fiction. They didn’t know what fiction was. That is what has happened here with QAnon. You have read things on platforms you didn’t fully understand, and you brought your own context and understanding to it. You read fiction as non-fiction and no one has bothered to explain to you how or why this content even exists.

We are going to go back as far as I can remember. I ask that other Anons corroborate what follows, not for me, but for those who are trapped by what has become a truly insidious ideology.

This all starts in the summer of 2016. Someone on /pol/ makes a post pretending to be someone working with “intimate knowledge” of the “Clinton case.” They made a post in the style of an AMA (which stands for Ask Me Anything, a form of Q&A popularized by reddit). This is just another form of CARPing (Creative Anonymous Roleplaying). The first two responses are: “Will the Hillary get Pregnant again?” and “Why are you on 4chan on a Friday night?” This thread almost instantly devolves into what is commonly known as a “shitpost.” It is nonsense. You might say to yourself, “Why would someone go on the internet and tell lies?” Well, this person isn’t really lying, they are shitposting. It is a form of artistic expression. It’s an attempt to get someone to suspend their belief for a few moments. Any seasoned oldfag or /pol/tard knows exactly what this kind of thread is. No one takes this literally.

However, at the time /pol/ is growing. You’ve got new people coming in daily. Much of /pol/ favors Donald Trump, broadly for his trollish nature and memeability, but also for his politics. Months later, someone cites the AMA as the FBI source behind the Pizzagate theory. This finds its way to Twitter. No one actually understands what they are reading, and no one checks the sources. Someone actually thought a months old shitpost on /pol/ was some kind of real leak. Long story short, someone goes into a Comet Ping Pong pizza with an AR-15 and starts shooting. A Friday night shitpost turned into shooting.

Fast forward about six months.

Someone on /b/ posts a depressing green text asking for recommendations on a new cult to join after they found out their girlfriend was cheating. Someone mentions that OP should become a Tibetan monk, because Tibetan Buddhism is a really great cult (e.g. because you can “light yourself on fire if you ever get too depressed OP”). Tibetan Buddhism goes on forever because the Dalia Llama gets reincarnated infinitely, so maybe if you are lucky you get to be him one day. This is the thinking. This isn’t exactly enlighted discussion. I respond suggesting that I have a great new cult that OP can join (which is loosely based on Heaven’s Gate, I’m just making this up on the spot). I had recently listened to a podcast about Heaven’s Gate and I was riffing on it. I loved the absurdity. OP asked for more sauce, but I decided to start a new thread instead.

Warning: This about to get really nerdy.

I started writing some shitposts with pseudo biblical writing, talking about saving humanity. I’m actually more embarrassed about it now than anything, as it was not my finest work. I would refer to “the awakening” as being the time when I would deliver the evidence that would let people “wake up” and realize we were in a simulation. Have you ever seen the Matrix? Yeah, like I said… not my finest work. I signed my posts as Q. Where did Q come from?

Well, initially, because of John de Lancie’s character of Q on Star Trek: The Next Generation. The character of Q was omnipotent and omnipresent. In the show he would speak to Captain Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise in his own form of strange riddles. Q took a particular interest in humanity as a whole and would appear as a jester-like sort of mix between an anti-hero and anti-villain, always giving Picard hints on how to expand his mind to solve a problem, usually to save all of humanity. So, this was my model.

The goal was to get a few believers and then set a date a few weeks later and reveal “the awakening.” The Awakening was just supposed to copypasta. It was a bamboozle. I was trolling I never even did it because I got bored with it. Most people could see through it (fake and gay) anyway. But someone was watching. Someone who likely called me fag and told me to choke on a bunch of dicks and kill myself was watching.

A few months later I start to see the first “Q” posts, which would eventually be called “Q Drops.” It migrates from /b/ to /pol/. Wow, so original. You took one shit idea from /b/ and made it political. Round of applause.

This person knew exactly what I was doing, not that what I did was that original either. Star Trek is pretty popular among internet nerds. But this is why Q has always talked the way he does. This was the model. This is where Q comes from. The “Q Clearance” stuff that came later is, well… coincidence. But not even a good coincidence because it doesn’t even really make sense, as that is a clearance for the Department of Energy.

The Q from Star Trek also exits as what is known as the “Q Continuum”, where there are other omnipotent beings, and everyone is referred to as Q. This is where the habit of Q referring to himself as “we” comes from. It’s a Star Trek fan, just like me—only one who managed to make a piece of creative anonymous fiction into something political. Likely for lulz at first, because lets be real no one thought it would turn into what it has.

I suspect that Q has been played by many different people over the last couple years as the tripcode has changed, but likely all of them are Star Trek TNG fans. You can really see it in the writing and the constant talk about “humanity.” It’s also possible that the person currently playing Q is the same as the person who was shitposting in my original thread. It doesn’t even matter.

So that’s it. That’s Q. Q eventually moved from 4chan to 8chan and then 8kun. It should be obvious who controls the narrative now. There is nothing truly anonymous or secure about 8kun. We have technologies for that (i.e. tor, torrents, modern cryptography) and 8kun ain’t it. QAnon is the cash cow for the pig farmer and his son in the Philippines who run 8kun, giving a platform to future terrorists and pedophiles. There is a reason for “no outside comms” and “no dates”—control the narrative and keep the machine rolling as long as possible. Why? Money. Between ad revenue and merchandise QAnon is now a profitable venture. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, and eventually you will make some prediction that will feel real enough, even if 99% of everything you say is bullshit, and keep the train running. In fact, it’s much easier than you think.

Take the twitter account, for example.

In early June I saw a number of trending hashtags around #JFKJRRETURNS. I could not believe the amount of people who were latching onto this. I watched the account go from zero to tens of thousands of followers in a day or so and then disappear. Everyone was saying that Twitter “banned” him. But when Twitter bans an account the language on the page says that the account was suspended. The account page for this account said that “This account doesn’t exist.” That means one of two things: 1) the account holder changed usernames; or 2) the account holder deactivated the account. When you deactivate an account, it puts it into a 30-day limbo period where you can recover it. I thought to myself, “If I could get ahold of this account perhaps, I could do something good with it.” I never thought I’d actually be able to do it. Low and behold, thirty days later I went to see if the handle was available and it was. Now I would get to play Q once again.

I just started riffing on whoever was playing Q with the account before me. No idea who that was. The envelopes were just responses from various government departments, nothing more. The postmarks are meaningless. Turns out if you write a letter to a government agency they will respond, and you get some cool looking envelopes. You can try it if you want—pull a FOIA request on yourself. July 22 was a date I pulled out of my ass. HUMAnity and ALl GOod ThiNGs are just more references to Star Trek TNG. The last episode of the show is called All Good Things, hence ALGO TNG. The very first Q Drops on record talk about Huma Abedin, and I thought maybe someone would try to make a connection with, “HUMAnity.” The last post from !!Hs1Jq13jV6 also mentioned “humanity”, but I didn’t even make that connection. It’s really not hard for those coincidences to pop up when you are all playing the same character. Manila, well, you know what that refers to now. St. Augustine is a reference to St. Augustine, Florida, where the largest QAnon merchandise operation is run from. The mentions of Hotwheels, moot and having stairs in my house was my way of gauging to see if anyone really had any idea about anything. The strange code in my location was just a Google Maps Plus Code. I picked a spot in the middle of the ocean off the Cook Islands and pulled the code for it. Turns out I didn’t even do it right, so it shows a different answer for everyone when you plug it into Google Maps.

So that’s it. That’s the whole thing. Beginning to end. Call it whatever you like, but that’s the story. The story of the chans, of QAnon and how Q became Q. Do with this what you will. Believe or don’t believe, it doesn’t matter.

Maybe this is all 100% true. Maybe it’s all 100% nonsense. Maybe truth is somewhere in the middle. What’s important is that you have more information today than you did yesterday. Where we go from here is a choice, and one I leave to you. What will happen to me? Well, I’ve been at a standing desk for 14 hours straight in order to bring this to you. I have done what I set out to do over three years ago and fulfilled my purpose as Q. My palms are sweaty. My knees are weak, my arms are heavy. It’s starting to fall out of my pockets already.

Mom’s Spaghetti,

#true stories

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