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sensitiveheartless · 2 months

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Written followup to the horrors comic! It got away from me lol. Most of it's under the cut, cause this part is also a bit long.

~*~

Minutes passed by on the quiet moonlit dock.

Despite the renewed serenity of the night, Chuuya’s heart continued to race sickeningly fast. It hammered away in his chest, as if unable to fully grasp that the danger had passed.

His clothes were heavy and waterlogged, so cold against his skin that he could barely keep from shivering. Icy trickles ran down the back of his neck and dripped from his hair.

Closing his eyes didn’t help. There were far too many twisted corpses engraved in the darkness whenever he blinked. So he kept his eyes open, staring at the planks beneath them as he tried to steady his breathing.

Don’t think about it, Chuuya told himself. Don’t think about them.

Instead, he forced himself to remain in the present moment. Beneath the planks, he could hear the swell of the ocean waters, each wave lapping at the posts in a quiet rhythm. Salt filled his lungs with every breath, the heavy tang of the sea-soaked wood wafting around him.

And against his chest was Dazai’s head, a steady and grounding pressure. His ear rested over Chuuya’s heart, his arms still tight around him.

In that position, Dazai must have been able to hear how hard Chuuya’s heart was pounding—but surprisingly, he didn’t remark upon it. He remained utterly silent.

In return, Chuuya didn’t say a word about the almost crushing strength of Dazai’s arms where they wrapped around his middle. Dazai’s fingers were digging into his ribs, twin rows of sharp pressure, and Chuuya could feel them shaking.

Dazai’s hair was coarse where Chuuya’s cheek rested against it. Back in the day, before Dazai’s defection, he never bothered with conditioner. It seemed some things never changed, even in the light.

For one wild moment, Chuuya wished that he wasn’t wearing a pair of gloves—then he could bury his bare fingers in Dazai’s hair and see if it was as tangled as it looked. And, perhaps, warm himself up. Dazai was like a radiator against him, heat seeping through Chuuya’s drenched layers of clothes at every point of contact, but his gloves remained cold, the sodden leather chilling him to the bone. His joints ached as he uncurled his fingers from around Dazai’s shoulders.

Perhaps it would be worth it to just…indulge for a moment, if only to have something else to needle Dazai about. Really, the man needed to learn how to groom himself properly one of these days.

As Chuuya’s hand hovered indecisively over Dazai’s head, however, he realized that his heart rate had already evened out. While he was reminiscing about Dazai’s damn mess of hair, of all things.

Ridiculous. But that meant that there was absolutely no excuse for the two of them to remain wrapped around each other any longer. Dazai’s shivering seemed to have calmed as well.

“We should—” Chuuya’s voice cracked when he tried to speak, so he paused and cleared his throat before going on. “We should make sure it’s really gone. I don’t want that thing getting the jump on me again.”

Dazai tensed, and his grip tightened so much that for a moment Chuuya could scarcely breathe.

“Oi. C’mon, you need to let me up,” Chuuya wheezed, swatting at Dazai’s shoulder. He strained his neck to look down at the head buried against his chest, a pang of something that was surely exasperation tightening his throat. “I need to be able to reach it, Dazai.”

Dazai remained still for another long moment, then abruptly loosened his grip. Instead of letting Chuuya up, however, he pushed him down to sit on the damp planks, and rose to his feet himself.

“I’ll go,” Dazai said quietly, and strode past Chuuya towards the small, oval mirror where it lay shattered on the dock.

Right. It did make sense to have Dazai touch it first, in case it was an ability that could be nullified.

…But what if it’s not? What if it’s something like Lovecraft? Dazai will be defenseless, Chuuya thought, and instinctively started to his feet as well.

“Stay back,” Dazai said sharply, without even turning to look. He was standing over the mirror, staring down at it. “Don’t move forward until I say so.”

Chuuya scowled, but remained in place. He watched as Dazai bent down and extended a careful hand towards the shards of glass.

One tap, with the tip of a finger. Then another, less cautious tap against the side of the wooden frame. Then another, and another, Dazai’s touches moving systematically across every inch of shattered glass and broken wood.

Nothing happened.

Dazai breathed out, and stepped back. “There. You are now welcome to crush it into dust,” he said lightly, waving Chuuya forward.

His head was still downturned, his eyes cast in the shadow of his bangs as Chuuya walked past him to do the deed.

It was with deep pleasure that Chuuya pressed each little bit of the mirror into nothingness, grinding it down with the overwhelming weight of gravity.

After it was done, Chuuya scattered the dust into the ocean waters below. “What the fuck was that thing, anyway?” he asked, turning back to face the other.

When he turned, however, he found Dazai had moved to sit on the edge of the dock, his legs dangling off the edge.

His back was facing Chuuya. It seemed deliberate.

At first, Dazai didn’t respond to Chuuya’s question. The silence stretched long enough that Chuuya began to shiver again, the cold wind cutting through his damp clothes.

“…A Face Like Glass,” Dazai said at last. “That’s what the ability was called.”

“So it was a gifted,” Chuuya muttered. He walked to Dazai’s side, and dropped down beside him with a heavy sigh. “That mean the user is still out there somewhere?”

“No,” Dazai said softly. “She died some time ago, I’m afraid.”

Chuuya looked at him sharply. “What?”

There wasn’t much light by which to see, but Chuuya knew Dazai’s face like the back of his own hand. Better, probably. And he could tell that the detective’s features had gone unnaturally still.

It was how Dazai looked whenever he was unsure of how much he should give away. Typically his poker faces were more natural, but when he was strongly conflicted, he would simply go blank.

“Explain,” Chuuya said, crossing his arms. “That thing almost killed me, I think I ought to know what it was.”

That got a reaction. Dazai’s lips twitched downward and he looked away, hiding his face from Chuuya once again.

After another lingering pause, however, he finally began to talk.

“A Face Like Glass was the ability of a woman named Hardinge,” Dazai said, as blandly as if he were reciting a history lesson. “She could reflect the darkest thoughts of anyone who looked into that mirror of hers, and give those thoughts physical form. Quite literally a nightmare to deal with, as one can imagine. She was the terror of England. However, after she rose to prominence, the mirror began to behave a bit oddly.

“The more renowned Hardinge became, the more people began to fear her ability. She kept the exact details of the mirror shrouded in mystery, so her enemies were always speculating what horrors it might do to them next.

“Naturally, over time, their darkest thoughts became consumed with fear of the mirror itself. And when Hardinge reflected those thoughts, manifesting them into reality…well. You can imagine what happened.”

Chuuya’s hands formed fists in his lap, so tight the leather of his gloves creaked. His fingers were somehow even colder than before. “A runaway effect,” he said. Despite his best efforts, his voice came out rough. “A singularity.”

“Quite,” Dazai said. “The heights of human imagination should never be underestimated. The more powerful anyone imagined the mirror was, the more powerful it became. When their fears manifested, their imaginations ran ever more wild with terrifying possibilities. Which it would also reflect. And so on, and so on. The only one who could control it was Hardinge herself, stopping the runaway cycle by covering the mirror. She acted as a control for the ability for many years, preventing it from going too far.

“But one day, one of her enemies had the dubiously clever idea to turn the mirror back on Hardinge herself. Which, ordinarily, would have been a mere scare tactic. I’m sure their only intent was to make her hesitate to use the mirror by making her own fears manifest.

“However, that is not what happened. Keep in mind, Hardinge had been watching this ability of hers grow with each battle she fought, gaining strength after strength, only barely containing it with her efforts. Sometimes it must have seemed so powerful that it nearly eclipsed her own self.

“Anyone would be frightened of that. It can’t be surprising that her darkest thoughts contained the fear that her mirror would one day consume her.”

Silence stretched, frigid and fragile as ice.

“…So her own ability ate her,” Chuuya said flatly.

“Yes,” Dazai said. “And without anyone left to contain it, the mirror was unleashed.”

Chuuya rubbed wearily at his temples. “Okay. Then how did it get here? To Yokohama?”

“From what I hear, Hardinge was not popular with the Order of the Clock Tower,” Dazai said. “She had gone into hiding here when her ability overtook her. The Special Operations Division then sent out operatives to contain it.”

Chuuya raised his head. “Oh. They’re involved? Wait, does that mean…was that ex-drinking buddy of yours the one who told you all this?”

Dazai nodded, and Chuuya could faintly make out a crooked smile on his lips in the darkness. “Ango called to warn me of its escape. They had done everything they could to keep it locked away so it could be studied, but all it took was one researcher fearing that the creature had the ability to get out of its cell, and it immediately had that power,” he said, leaning back on his bandaged palms. He gave Chuuya a sidelong look, heavy with significance. “Then, of course, while Ango was briefing me on A Face Like Glass, I also got word that a certain tiny mafioso had gone out to fight an unknown monster that was terrorizing the shipyards.”

Chuuya met his stare with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, so?” he said. “It was scaring my subordinates. Someone had to do something.”

Dazai’s gaze darkened further. “Chuuya, you went alone,” he said. “You tried to face it all by yourself, without even knowing what it was. You could have —” He broke off, and looked away once more. His nails were digging into the wood of the dock, his shoulders stiff.

Hiding again, Chuuya thought.

For a moment, Chuuya considered pointing out that there wasn’t anyone for him to call for help. Very few of the other mafia members could stand up to an otherworldly threat—and even those who could, like Akutagawa, were not anyone who Chuuya would want exposed to a fear-monster. Everyone in the mafia had far too much darkness to reflect.

Besides, Dazai had no room to scold Chuuya when he was the one who had left him without a partner in the first place.

But even as Chuuya contemplated speaking those cutting words aloud, he found himself unable to.

Because even though Chuuya hadn’t called, Dazai had come anyway.

And, if the reflections of that ability could be believed, one of Dazai’s darkest thoughts was losing Chuuya to Corruption. Right alongside Dazai’s fear of his own past self, and his fear of disappointing his old friend. That…changed some things.

Chuuya sighed, releasing a long-held weight. Then he prodded Dazai’s shoulder with a cold, gloved fingertip. “Hey,” he said. “Look at me.”

Dazai’s shoulders hitched higher, but he didn’t turn.

“What’s your deal?” Chuuya demanded, poking him again. “You don’t have to hide from me, idiot. What, you think I’m gonna make fun of you for having emotions?”

That, apparently, surprised Dazai enough to glance back at Chuuya, his brow furrowed.

“Because I won’t,” Chuuya said. “Not about this. I mean…look, before you showed up, that mirror motherfucker had already reflected a lot of people at me. The Flags, the Sheep, Murase, even N. That’s how it got close enough to me to grab me and drag me under in the first place. So if you’re embarrassed of breaking down or some shit, you shouldn’t be. I did too.”

“It’s not that,” Dazai muttered, his eyes darting away across the dark ocean waters once again.

“Then what?” Chuuya prompted impatiently, leaning closer.

“I froze,” Dazai said, his lips twisting in disgust. “Under the slightest amount of pressure, I broke. You could have died, just because I couldn’t bring myself to fire at a poor imitation of my friend.”

Chuuya blinked. “What’s wrong with that? I broke too. And you were there to pull me out of the water. I saved you, and you saved me. That’s what partners are for, right?”

That finally got Dazai to face him, whipping around so quickly it must have hurt his neck. His eyes were wide, his lips parted in surprise.

Chuuya knew why. It had been years since he had called Dazai his partner.

All too aware that his cheeks were beginning to heat, Chuuya reached out to pull the infuriating man into his arms, tucking Dazai’s head against his shoulder. “Not a word,” he growled, squeezing Dazai tightly in warning. “Make fun of me for this and I’m kicking you into the ocean.”

Dazai let out a choked noise, and suddenly he was clinging to Chuuya just as tight, his fingers practically clawing into his back.

He was shaking again. Or maybe they both were.

“It—it had been so long since I heard his voice,” Dazai cried against Chuuya’s neck, muffled and damp on his skin. “I don’t want that to be how I remember him, I don’t, I hate it…”

Chuuya closed his eyes and saw Albatross laying on the ground in pieces, staring up at him in betrayal. He let out a slow, careful breath, and held Dazai closer.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “I know. I get it.”

Dazai was still so warm. And Chuuya’s hands were still so terribly cold.

Making a reckless decision, Chuuya pulled off his soaked gloves and tossed them aside, then sunk his fingers into Dazai’s mess of curls without hesitation. He felt more than heard the sharp inhale against his neck, and the quiet questioning hum that followed. Chuuya ignored it and continued to card his fingers through Dazai’s hair.

“…Chuuya?” Dazai breathed.

Chuuya tugged absently at a knot. “Tangled,” he grunted. “It was bothering me.”

“Mm,” Dazai hummed, and his hands slid up the back of Chuuya’s jacket. “Chuuya’s cold.”

“No shit,” Chuuya said grumpily. “I fell in the fucking ocean, and it’s freezing out here.”

There was a soft laugh, then a strange sensation ghosted across the side of Chuuya’s neck just above his choker, almost like a pair of lips had pressed there. Chuuya’s hands tightened in Dazai’s hair, stiffening in surprise. He could only wonder if he had imagined it, unable to comprehend any other possibility.

He certainly didn’t imagine what Dazai said next, however.

“Come home with me,” Dazai whispered, his lips brushing against Chuuya’s skin once again.

Chuuya made a very strange noise, somewhere between a shriek and a gasp, and used his grip on Dazai’s hair to haul him away just enough for their eyes to meet. “The fuck?” he spluttered, face burning. “What do you mean, where did that — hah?”

Dazai’s eyes were rimmed in red, dulled with weariness. One of his hands wandered up to Chuuya’s cheek and rested there, circling the blush with his thumb. “I don’t want you out of my sight right now,” he said quietly. “That’s all.”

Ah. Right. The reflection of Corruption.

Well. Chuuya couldn’t really deny that he wasn’t looking forward to a night spent alone in his own apartment. He might not dream, but that didn’t matter if he couldn’t even get to sleep. Having someone beside him might help.

And beyond all that—this was the first time that Dazai had ever asked Chuuya to stay with him.

So, dazed and still a little flushed, Chuuya abandoned all common sense and replied, “Okay.”

Dazai captured one of Chuuya’s hands between his own, and brought it to his lips to brush a kiss across his knuckles. “Good,” he murmured, and pulled Chuuya to his feet. A slight smile flitted across his features. “I think I spotted Chuuya’s dreadful hat further towards the shore. Shall we find it first?”

Chuuya’s knuckles were still tingling. “Okay,” he repeated, strangled and utterly bewildered. His thoughts were chasing themselves in circles like a pack of confused terriers, but he allowed Dazai to tow him away towards the lights of the city.

And if Chuuya’s fingers ended up intertwined with Dazai’s as they traversed the shadows…well.

The streets were too dark for anyone to prove it.

“…Wait, is there even room at your place? You’re still living in that shitty dorm, aren’t you?”

A familiar grin and a pair of twinkling eyes turned back to him as they passed through a dimly lit alley. “Hmm? Chuuya has been tracking where I live? How sentimental of you, slug.”

At least he’s getting back to normal, Chuuya thought. “Oh, shut up,” he grumbled aloud. “Of course I’d keep an eye on your annoying ass.”

A scandalized, yet delighted gasp. “Chuuya likes looking at my ass?”

“…?! Shut up! That is not what I said—!”

#...possibly I should also put this on ao3 for ease of reading #do I know what I'm doing? nope #no thoughts only vibing #but anyway I hope this was an enjoyable explanation of the Creature in the horrors comic!#'A Face Like Glass' is a book I absolutely adore by Frances Hardinge :D It's got a lot of mind-bending concepts in it!#so it seemed like a fun thing to turn into a bsd oc monster #can you believe this started as an attempt to give Chuuya hugs lol #technically succeeded! but at what cost #the horrors comic #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #skk #senhart's writing

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neonganymede · 18 days

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WIP Ask Game

I was tagged by @xlillyle and @sensitiveheartless! Thank you both so much <3

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I have an utterly ridiculous amount of WIPs, so I'll only include the things that are either fully plotted or partially written. Also not including any of the requests that I have yet to finish. These aren't in any particular order~

WIPS:

Fukumori vet au chapter 3

Painted Wings (Fyosiglai Anastasia AU)

Fyodor ship week 1 (Fyosiglai and a stray cat)

BSD fluff week 1 (Soukoku sleepover)

BSD fluff week 2 (Soukoku caught in the rain)

BSD fluff week 3 (Sigskk and cooking together)

Fyodor ship week 5 (Fyosiglai and vampires)

BSD Fluff week 5 (Domestic Soukoku)

Fyodor ship week 7 (Fyolai fake dating. or fyozai fake dating. Still undecided)

Fyosiglai modeling au

Unfinished SKK holiday fic

Fyolai sickfic

I never really know who to tag, and that's entirely too many people anyways ><;;;; so I'm tagging @fyodorkitkat @frankenjoly and anybody else who sees this and might want to do it!

#Senhart literally tagged me while I was typing this out! how rude. i was going to tag you.....#aaahhhh i get so nervous tagging people because i never know who writes and who doesn't ;-; no pressure to anyone of course #i have too many wips. i'll be the first to admit it #i also hate abandoning things....#i have some other projects i'd like to eventually work on but i'm not ~entirely~ ready to talk about them yet ^^;#ask game #i guess??

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caelanglang · 11 months

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Okay so I saw that you were sobbing over Ito’s newest ATLA au (and so am I ngl 😭😭) but can I recommend you @sensitiveheartless’s howls moving castle au fic? It’s really good and it’s pretty fluffy! (Im not them btw, just a fellow skk lover :3)

... I’ll be honest with you chief, the moment I saw that fic on ao3 I saw a huuuuuuggee blue flag on it. Blue flag, in my terms, is that it's a big green flag for me to read but also a big warning that it's gonna be a big rabbit hole and emotional investment that I will never get out of TvT BECAUSE IT'S A HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE AU AND SKK??? Bro I am so down bad and I am so scared to be soooo normal about it. ALSO in the books, Howl and Sophie's quarrels and bickerings? VERY SKKcore if you ask me. It's one of my favorite books too and I AM SO NOT READY TO BE SO DOWN BAD FOR THE FIC.

but maybe this is a sign that I should finally suck it up and read it :,)) I would love to cry about it here. Senhart is one of my fav skk creators! Their fluff and writing and drawings are so good. I love their other works, especially "Plate :(" and "This is how it feels to take a fall" and I just know that the howl's moving castle au fic will not disappoint—it will, in fact, destroy me so thoroughly and change my brain chemistry and I could already feel it lining up to the "fics that changed the trajectory of my life" in my brain folder (which amounts to a number that I could count with my two hands ngl...)

oh gosh I rambled again... ><;; Sorry for this but yes! you will definitely hear my cries, and smell my sweat and tears from making fanart of this fic in this blog once I finally suck it up and start reading! Thank you so much for this!

ps. I'm crying with you over Ito's fic dw here, hold my hand T~T)//

#inbox #gosh i really wish i was braver than this

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sensitiveheartless · 5 months

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(Sorry this heads-up is a day late) I posted the second half of the vampire Chuuya fic! This is the comfort part lol

#I posted the chapter yesterday and promptly had no time for the rest of the day to post about it here alskdjfjf #too many things!#on that note sorry I’ve been so inactive this week — I had to do a thing that scared me and it took a lot of energy #but it’s doneeee so now I can do other things! 🚀#also yeah I had the opportunity to draw beleaguered cat dazai for this part and took it #my art #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #senhart's writing #soukoku #skk #bsd

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sensitiveheartless · 6 months

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My head was warm

My skin was soaked

I called your name ‘til the fever broke

(I posted the first half of a vampire Chuuya fic, do mind the tags if you decide to check it out)

#I was in a mood lol #also happy Halloween to those who celebrate it!#oh also also: song lyrics are from ‘In the woods somewhere’ by Hozier #senhart's writing #bsd #my art #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #skk #blood tw

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sensitiveheartless · 18 days

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Teleporting nonsense? 👀 (where are they going)

Oh gosh, this one is almost aggressively goofy — Chuuya gets hit with an ability which keeps teleporting him to Dazai every single time that Chuuya thinks about him. Which, according to the laws of "trying not to think of a pink elephant", immediately becomes nearly impossible for Chuuya to avoid (also they are Weird about each other which doesn't help askdfjskdjf)

Here's a snippet from towards the beginning:

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Suddenly, without warning, Dazai heard an odd popping noise, and something—or rather, someone—materialized out of thin air, dropping on top of Dazai with a yelp.

…Of course, since Dazai was in the midst of tipping his chair back, he had no chance to brace himself, and he and the newcomer both went tumbling down backwards onto the floor, the chair producing a loud crash that echoed throughout the agency.

“Dazai!” Kunikida exclaimed, jumping to his feet and reaching for his notebook, prepared to fight the intruder. “Are you alright?!”

Atsushi jolted up as well, backing away from the chaotic jumble of limbs beside his chair. “Wait,” he said, squinting. “Isn’t that…?”

The newcomer struggled up from Dazai’s chest, his cheeks flaring redder than his disheveled hair, opening and closing his mouth wordlessly with an expression of utter fury.

Dazai wheezed, dazed from being so abruptly crushed, and propped himself up on his elbows. “Chibi is so heavy,” he complained automatically, peering up at his old partner. “…Chuuya? How did you get here?”

Chuuya flushed somehow even darker than before, the red spreading to the tips of his ears and down his neck beneath his choker. Before anyone could say another word, however, he jumped up from Dazai’s lap to storm over to the nearest window and wrench it open. “Stupid—fucking—ability user!” he shrieked as he launched himself over the sill. “Forget this ever happened!”

Then he glowed dark crimson with his ability and leapt away into the sky, vanishing over the rooftops of Yokohama.

In the aftermath, Dazai cautiously picked himself up from the floor, dusting off his waistcoat with an expression of disdain. “Such a messy slug, leaving without so much as an explanation,” he sniffed, and wrangled his chair back upright so he could sit once again. Before long, a sly look crossed his face. “Say, Kunikida-kun, since I’ve just been injured in an altercation with the Port Mafia, surely I don’t have to work anymore today—?”

“You’re perfectly fine!” Kunikida snapped, though not before checking over Dazai’s condition carefully. “…Still, that was peculiar. What do you suppose happened to him?”

Dazai shrugged, kicking his feet back up onto the desk once more. “Who knows?” he sighed. “The Port Mafia comes across all sorts of abilities in the course of their dealings. I expect the slug found himself up against some manner of teleportation-type gifted, that’s all. Though why he would wind up teleporting here specifically, I don’t kn—”

Before Dazai could finish his sentence, they heard another loud POP, and Chuuya once more appeared out of nowhere to drop straight down onto Dazai’s lap. This time, though still caught off guard, Dazai managed to remain upright in his chair by grabbing hold of Chuuya’s waist to steady him.

The pair stared at each other for a long, stunned moment, both equally nonplussed.

Chuuya broke out of it first and buried his face in his hands, letting out a low hiss of frustration. “Are you fucking serious,” he said into his palms, slightly muffled. “Every single time?”

Dazai grinned, sensing blood in the water. “Gotten yourself into a fix, have you hatrack?” he said innocently.

#this was a LONG snippet but I think it's a pretty good demonstration of the premise lololol #there is. a bit of angst. Because of course there is #but mostly it is Nonsense #anyway!! Thank you for the ask Nawy! :D #senhart's writing #ask game

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sensitiveheartless · 10 months

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Greetings, I just put up the first chapter of the Skyline Pigeon fic! It’s over here if you want to read it, but I do strongly encourage everyone to check the tags first because it is darker in comparison to most of my other stuff.

#there is also a detailed warning in the endnotes for one of the tags in particular #the whole fic wont be just angst I promise #anyway take care y’all!#skyline pigeon fic #bsd #my art #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs #senhart's writing

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sensitiveheartless · 18 days

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...Somethin' please!

Hiya, thanks for the ask! :D This is the fic which I started writing a while back and then completely forgot about (the non-descriptive title I gave it did not help lol) — but basically it's a very silly college AU where Albatross comes up with a very stupid plan for Chuuya to get kissed for the first time at a dorm party. (Dazai has known Chuuya since they were both fifteen and is internally Seething over the entire situation)

Here's a rather long snippet to give the proper vibe:

---

Chuuya sighed, and thumped his head back against the wall of the closet.

Worse than the indignity of it all was how boring it was. Time felt like it crawled by even slower when he couldn’t even check the time on his phone.

Like anyone was going to come in, anyway. What kind of weirdo would be desperate enough to kiss someone who was blindfolded? And to kiss Chuuya, no less. He wasn’t exactly known for his sunny disposition. They’d probably be too afraid of him kicking them.

Chuuya shifted restlessly. He could just leave, he knew. Ditch the entire party. It seemed pretty lame so far, and it wasn’t like Chuuya wanted to be kissed…

Much.

…Alright, maybe he was a little curious, just to see what all the fuss was about.

But only a little. It was just that he hadn't ever gotten a chance to fool around during his high school years, not with how quickly everything went to shit—and even after Adam found him and things began to look up, Chuuya had been far too busy trying to put his life back together to bother with dating.

Still, this seemed like a pretty stupid way to lose his first kiss. Why the hell had Albatross thought this was a good idea?

Ugh. Whatever. He would give it another couple of minutes, and then he’d leave. Yeah. No one was gonna come in, anyway.

Of course, at that exact moment, the closet door creaked open.

Chuuya stiffened, glowering even though the other person wouldn't be able to see it. Raucous sounds from the party outside filtered in with the mystery person, at least until the closet door latched shut once again with a gentle click.

…So there were people desperate and weird enough to do this?!

“Hey,” Chuuya said, just to break the silence. He could hear the other person breathing, hushed and a little fast. Were they nervous? “Come to take a shot at it? Honestly, I think this whole thing is stupid as hell, but I’m not gonna stop ya.”

The other person’s breathing did something funny, but they didn’t move. They had to be standing quite close to Chuuya, considering how small the closet was, but the two of them weren’t touching at all.

After a moment of expectant silence, Chuuya frowned. “Oi, are you really just gonna stand there?” he asked, blindly reaching forward. “Who are you, anyw—?”

Before he could get out the last word, Chuuya found himself pulled abruptly into the person’s arms. Contrary to his expectations, however, he was not kissed—instead, he was crushed against the other’s chest, his cheek squished against what he guessed to be their collar bone.

Chuuya blinked behind the darkness of his blindfold.

This person had snuck in here, just to…hug him?

If it could even be called a hug, because it certainly wasn’t like any embrace Chuuya had received before. Nothing like the brisk but warm hugs he got from Adam, or the awkward one-armed hugs from Shirase, or the enthusiastic bone-crushing squeezes from Albatross whenever his friend got overexcited.

If anything, this grip was possessive, and seemed almost desperate with the way the person’s fingers dug into the curve of Chuuya’s spine, keeping the two of them plastered together. They were quite a bit taller than Chuuya, and their embrace was so tight that he could barely keep his toes on the ground.

It was annoying, but also kind of…interesting.

Chuuya tried to focus on the feeling of the fabric pressed against his cheek. Knitted, slightly scratchy material—with cables? A wool sweater?

It was certainly warm. Chuuya felt like he was burning up.

…He had really never been held like this before. Like the other person couldn’t bear to let him go. For the life of him, Chuuya didn’t know what to make of it.

After a few stunned moments, Chuuya squirmed a little. The arms around him loosened at once, allowing him to move his own hands up between them and brace himself against the mystery person’s chest.

Chuuya raised his chin towards where the other person’s face must be, and cocked his head to the side challengingly. “What? Was this all you wanted?” he asked, tapping a finger against the person’s chest. “Maybe you misunderstood the game, hmm? I thought you were supposed to ki—”

#I have no explanation for this one — except that I sometimes have an intense urge to put Chuuya in silly romcom situations #a) because i think he'd be hilarious in them #and b) I think he should get to experience some goofy low stakes shenanigans on occasion — dude goes through a lot #also always love Dazai getting chances to be Weird About ChuuyaTM lol #Dazai is losing his mind in this one akasdjfkdsjf #senhart's writing #ask game #long post

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sensitiveheartless · 18 days

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The Boy Who Caught a Falling Star(Howl AU, excerpts of Dazai’s perspective) 👀👀👀

Dazai stood with his feathered hand pressed to the door and listened to the sound of Chuuya breathing on the other side, his own breath caught in his throat.

Starlight.

He was so close. Only a few inches of wood separated them.

And yet…

What would Chuuya do if Dazai opened the door right at that moment?

Would he scream? Flinch at the sight of him? Call off the deal they had made and flee from the castle?

Or would he…?

Dazai raised his hands to his own cheeks, grasping for that old memory of Chuuya from that night. The way his tears had sparkled in the starlight as they fell, the way he smiled and held Dazai’s face like he was something precious.

Would Chuuya still do that now, if he saw him like this?

Try as he might, Dazai couldn’t imagine it.

Because as wonderfully stubborn and kind as this Chuuya seemed…

Surely even the most perfect person would call someone like Dazai a monster.

#Heheheh :D #this takes place the first time that Chuuya brings Dazai food while he's holed up in his room — right after Chuuya arrives in the castle!#this WIP is a lot of Dazai suffering tbh akjsdfksjdfk #thank you for the ask!!#ask game #senhart's writing

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sensitiveheartless · 2 months

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Heya, slightly belated heads up: I decided to split the Howl AU epilogue into three different chapters, the first of which is now up for anyone who wants to read it!

There will be two more after this one, because this thing got waaaay too long for a single chapter lol. Hoping to be able to finish those next chapters soon! thank you all for your patience :D

#meant to make a post here about it earlier but the latter half of this day fell into chaos #I might have an ear infection? possibly #my ear is definitely pissed about something lol #I am currently lying down with oil in my ear hoping it will help #anyway! hope y’all like the chapter!#howl’s moving castle au #senhart's writing

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sensitiveheartless · 17 days

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What’s A Rose in Fairyland about?

Thanks for the asks about this one @azapofinspiration, @duodipersponsh, and anon!! Alright, the original story, hehehe >:D I have been having a lot of fun plotting this one out! The basic premise is:

Right on the very outskirts of Fairyland, there is a small village of humans. Now, the forest of Fairyland is known for being very very bad for humans, as in "if you go in you'll never come back out", so they really shouldn't be living there — but in their defense, their village was not always on the edge of Fairyland.

Fairyland has been growing. Very rapidly. And it is now consuming their village, and no one knows why.

Most people in the village flee, but by then some of the residents have been infected by the roots of the forest. This means they cannot go too far from Fairyland, or else they'll become rooted in the ground and turn into trees, thus expanding the forest even further.

Pretty soon there's only a scattered group of people left in the outskirts of the village, both infected and not, watching their old houses be consumed. They know they can't survive there forever. Even if food weren't an issue (most of their farmland is now forest), there are monsters in the woods. Living too close makes it all too likely that they'll end up eaten.

So the main character of the story, Rose, decides to venture into Fairyland herself and figure out what the hell is going on with the fae.

...Unfortunately, Rose has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, and cannot pick up on subtext to save her life.

You can imagine how this might become a problem when facing a forest full of tricksters.

But yeah! Most of the story is gonna take place in Fairyland itself, and there's going to be some mystery elements, as well as character stuff — also, I have been really enjoying figuring out how the ecology of Fairyland is going to work! Fantasy ecology is so fun to mess around with (magic as an additional energy source!!)

I'll put an excerpt under the cut (since this is already getting a bit long lol), as well as some art I've been working on of Rose :D

Rose pushed through the brush, ignoring the tug of briars at her cloak, and emerged into a clearing.

It was brighter than the surrounding forest, but only slightly. The sun was still filtered through layers and layers of greenery that turned the light heavy and liquid, oozing down from above like honey. The few sunbeams that made their way to earth illuminated circling insects, their threadlike wings catching in the light as they whirled about in the air.

The clearing seemed entirely empty, but the surrounding trees appeared almost uncomfortably close to being a perfect circle. Rose thought about the fairy rings spoken of in childhood tales, and narrowed her eyes.

Still. It was the most direct path to take, wasn’t it?

The moss covering the ground was so dense and damp that Rose’s boots sunk into it with every step she took. She avoided stepping on the many mushrooms pushing up from the earth, remembering Martha’s warning about disturbing them. Rose really didn’t need her feet turning to wood while she tried to walk.

Suddenly, she paused.

Inside her lantern, the salamander had begun behaving oddly.

While before it had been peacefully curled around the candle’s wick, slumbering away, the creature was now crawling in rapid circles, seemingly in a panic.

“What’s the matter?” Rose asked, raising the lantern up to eye level so she could study the salamander closer. “You want out now?”

She crouched down and unlatched the front glass panel to free it, but the salamander didn’t take the offered exit. Instead, it dove straight into the flame itself and huddled there, quivering, its big eyes reflecting the fire as it stared back at Rose.

“Hmm,” said Rose.

She relatched the panel and stood, holding the lantern close to her chest. Then, with her free hand, she drew her sword, and held it before them both.

It felt a bit silly to be brandishing the blade at thin air — nothing was moving, aside from the lazily drifting insects. Still, the salamander had to be frightened of something.

“I’ll protect you,” she told the bundle of anxious flames, and strode forward with grim determination.

Before she had gone more than a single step further, she was caught around the waist by an arm, and yanked backwards against what felt like a human chest.

Without looking or thinking twice, Rose thrust the pommel of her sword back over her shoulder with every ounce of her strength.

The blow must have hit its mark, for she was released at once, and whatever had grabbed her let out a startled yelp of agony.

“Ow,” the voice said emphatically.

Rose whirled around, ready to strike again, only to find a human-shaped person there, doubled over and clutching at their face.

“By all the ancient wealds, what a prickly human!” the figure laughed, voice a little strained. “A little quick on the draw, aren’t you?”

When their hands lowered from their face, Rose could see the person was wearing a mask made of bark that hid all of their features, save for a rough pair of holes for their eyes. They were taller than her, and clad in an oddly fine-fabriced tunic and breeches of earthen tones.

Most importantly, however, their ears were long and pointed, standing out from amidst their long dark curls. An elf.

Rose leveled her sword at the elf, scowling. “Who are you?” she demanded.

“Ah, not even a hello? How impolite,” the elf bemoaned. Then they swept a deep bow, apparently fully recovered. “I am Silvian of the Luminescent Grove, or as some might call me, he who wanders. And who might you be, little human?”

“Why did you grab me?” Rose asked, ignoring the question.

Silvian paused, then pointed a rather long spindly finger behind her towards the center of the clearing. “...There’s a swallower pit just ahead,” he said plaintively. “You were about to walk straight into it, so I thought I should stop you.”

Rose glanced behind her at the seemingly empty clearing, then at the salamander in the lantern, still shivering away in the fire.

Oh. Maybe that was what scared it.

“But you needn’t take my word for it,” Silvian added, leaning down to snatch a loose twig up from the moss. “Behold!”

With that, he chucked the twig past her, landing it straight in the middle of the clearing.

In the next instant, a broad chasm opened up beneath the twig, and what seemed to be a hundred spines erupted in a circle around the hole, barely an arm’s length away from where Rose stood. She jumped back at once, hiding the lantern and salamander in her cloak, and watched with wide eyes as the many spines dove inwards on the twig to drag it down into the dark depths of the earth.

Once the twig was gone, a small fountain of dirt spewed up from the hole, filling it back in at once. It looked a little like a mole hill—but it sank in on itself rapidly, moss growing back across it at an unnatural pace, until the center of the clearing was just as still and peaceful as before.

There were a few less insects in the air above the pit, but the rest of the bugs seemed unperturbed by the loss of their comrades.

Rose waited a few seconds until her heart had stopped racing. Then she sheathed her sword, turned back to Silvian, and bowed. “In that case, my apologies. I acted hastily,” she said gravely.

Silvian’s head cocked to one side, as though surprised by this. Then he laughed, and his eyes twinkled at her from behind his mask. “Don’t mention it! If you wish to make it up to me…why not give me your name, little human?”

“I’m—” Rose began, then stopped.

Thought for a moment, remembering Reuben’s words.

Whatever you do, don’t give a fae your true name.

“—Me,” Rose finished firmly. “I’m myself, and I’m not falling for that.”

…Nevermind that she almost had, the very moment he asked her. Hmm. She would have to be more on guard, it would seem.

(And here is my WIP of Rose and her kinda fucked up sword)

#while plotting this one out I have come to the realization that some of the later plot elements are uh—#possibly the meanest I've ever been to my own characters #so that'll be fun to write lol #anyway thank you for letting my ramble about my oc plot this was very fun to write out :D #this is the first original plot I've made in a while where I actually have a solid plan for the entire thing! I am excited aksfjksdjf #senhart's writing #original story #a rose in fairyland

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sensitiveheartless · 5 months

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20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @feralrookie! :D Thank you for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

10! (technically, kinda)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

379,547

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Bungou Stray Dogs! It's also the first fandom I've written for, actually. :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is how it feels to take a fall (Dazai goes feral, time shenanigans)

Plate :( (Dazai breaks a plate, experiences emotions)

Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency (Howl's Moving Castle AU)

Chuunyaa's Pawsitively Catastrophic Day (Chuuya is turned into a cat, it's short and pretty much just shenanigans)

Wish in one hand (First fic I wrote, and the first one I posted — Dazai has emotions about handholding)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I've been absolutely terrible at it lately — whenever I'm particularly stressed I start worrying that the negative emotions are going to leak through into what I'm writing and make my tone sound weird, so then I end up turtling in on myself and not saying anything at all, no matter how much I want to engage with people. It's a bad habit, and I want to work on it, so I'm gonna try to catch up on comments! (I treasure every single one of the ones I receive, so for anyone who has left a comment and hasn't gotten a response from me yet, thank you and I am very sorry about my inability to form words in a timely manner skdjfksd)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably An Unsent Letter, since it's pretty much just a short snippet of Dazai being sad while he's leaving the mafia. And even with that one, I have in my head that skk still get together after the four years apart, I just didn't write it. I am dreadful with sad endings — although the ending to "This is how it feels to take a fall" is a little bittersweet, perhaps.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm...I'm gonna say Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency, because it's the one with the longest buildup, so I think it has the most catharsis, at least for me! But I tend to give all of my fics happy endings because, as established, I am a wimp when it comes to hardcore angst. I will say that Zut Alors I Have Missed One is probably a contender for happiest as well, just because that fic had no angst whatsoever and was just Unhinged

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Nope! Everyone's been lovely! I have gotten some for my art, but honestly it was pretty toothless and I couldn't take it seriously lol

9. Do you write smut?

...Yeh. :0 There was an attempt, at least — one fic, and I made it anonymous (so on the extreme off-chance that anyone notices a discrepancy between my total ao3 wordcount listed here and the summed up wordcounts of the fics viewable on my profile, that's why!) It's also another fic I need to finish, I hit my writing roadblock with that one at the same time as all my others, and it's almost doneeee I just need my brain to cooperate >:|

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not any proper crossovers, only things like the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, where I took the settings/plots and put in BSD characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

...Possibly? I'm not actually sure, I've given a couple people permission, but I'm not sure if anything came of that, I haven't heard one way or another :0 I do have a tendency to use puns, which I realize might make things difficult for translations

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not so far — and given how tempestuous my schedule has been, it'll probably be a while before I attempt anything like that! Sounds fun, though

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

...I mean, it's gotta be soukoku, because for all that I've enjoyed a lot of fictional pairings before (for example, Howl and Sophie specifically from the HMC books, Beatrice and Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing — I like bickering duos, what do you know — Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane, currently falling down the Hualian rabbithole because I'm reading Heaven Official's Blessing with my friend, and there's lots of other ones), for as much as I like all those, I haven't really had much of an urge to write anything for them.

So, purely in terms of me wanting to mess around with two characters and write them over and over and over again, it's really only skk! They hit the exact right combination of braincells, I guess lololol

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

Hmmm...honestly, most of my WIPs I still intend to finish at some point or another — first priority being the ones I've already started posting, of course! Although...just due to time constraints, I might not get around to writing the thief!Chuuya/detective!Dazai one I was planning a while back. (and I mean a WHILE lol) I didn't write very much of it, and honestly most of the reason I wanted to write it was for comedy — so maybe I'll turn it into a short comic series instead, because I do think some of the bits were funny :0

16. What are your writing strengths?

That's a hard one; I tend to look more at the ways I want to improve my writing then at what I like about it, and I nitpick just about everything I create, art and writing alike. But if I had to pick something, I would probably say dialogue? That tends to be what I write easiest, at least. I still want to get better at that too, though.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions and action scenes. I've been making myself write them more, so I think I'm slowly improving (the Howl AU has been great for that! It pushed me to write all sorts of scenes I wouldn't have normally :D ), but those two things remain what I get bogged down by the most.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the circumstances, I think? I'd include translations if I did. I do tend to include Japanese honorifics when I'm writing in the canon universe, because there's not really english equivalents and it feels like I'm leaving something out when I just do their names straight — although I did take them out when I was doing the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, just as a setting thing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bungou Stray Dogs — like I mentioned in the ship section, this is the first fandom where I've really felt the urge. Although I did write things when I was little that very blatantly yoinked in various creatures and concepts from the things I was reading and watching, which resulted in stories with pirates and weeping angels and Ringwraiths all running around in the same place. But I didn't usually bother with bringing in actual characters from those pieces of media, or even using the settings, I just made ocs and had them run around in my own made up world.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I like all of them for different reasons, but I think my favorite overall has to be Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency. It's the longest thing I've ever written, and when I started out I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it — so the fact that it's most of the way done (currently chipping away at the epilogue, it is getting to be a LOT of words) makes me really happy. And it's just been so much fun! Writing characters I hadn't before, piecing the world together, working out the magic system, writing Dazai being a mess and Chuuya being cool, it's all been a blast. And I seriously need to finish the epilogue, because the followups are living in my brain and they demand to be freed aksdfjksdjfk

But yeah! I'm not sure how many writers I know on here have already been tagged, so I'll just go open tags on this one! :D If any of y'all write and feel like doing this, then go for it!

#tag game #senhart rambles #senhart's writing #long post

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