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vydante · 5 years

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Wasn't Meant To Be | Tony Stark x Male! Reader | Endgame Spoilers

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Tony Stark x Male! Reader - Can Be Platonic/ Romantic

Summary: The world may have moved on from the snap, but you haven’t. And you’re scared that you never will.

A/N: Spoilers for Endgame, obviously. It’s literally the whole movie. Angst, hints of unrequited love but is vague enough for it to be platonic. Read at your own discretion. It’s also a bit gender-neutral IMO, but is intended to be a Male! Reader.

It wasn't meant to be him.

You could've prayed all you want, beg the Gods or whatever higher being there was for it to not be him. You could've done anything you thought of for it to not have been him.

But you knew that that simply wasn't what Dr. Strange saw. He saw the millions of ways this would've turned out. He saw countless endings where Thanos won and only saw one that he didn't win.

But how you wished that there was just another way; another future where it hadn't been him to deal the final blow.

In a way, you're thankful for him. He knew what he had to do, even if it cost him everything. He knew he could've walked away from his destiny, but he had the courage not to. You applauded him for that.

Of course, his loss took a toll on everyone. Peter was a mess afterward. He had nightmares of that fateful day, and often times you'd hear him cry silently in his bedroom when you visited him. Just to check up on him.

Morgan was strong, you'll give her that. Pepper was strong, too, but you could tell she only kept face because of Morgan. Without her, you were sure Pepper would be a wreck for weeks, if not months. You were there to support her, but you could only do so much for them.

The team was lost as well. While Steve had gone to stay with Peggy and lived a fulfilling life, there were times where you'd catch his silhouette sitting in front of Tony's countless suits, body now worn with the years that had gone by for him. He never really cried. He just held a strong act, but he was suffering too.

Rhodey and Carol seemed to get along well, but the times where she wasn't here, you saw the distant gaze in his eyes as he worked on getting everyone reorganized after the battle.

Clint... Well, he had his family back. But after the loss of not only his best friend, and one of his teammates... He just wasn't the same anymore. He was still lively and had strayed away from his vigilante styled life, but his smile wasn't as bright as it was before. Though, you were sure you were the only one that noticed.

Thor... Well, he was far off better than the rest. You hadn't seen him much after he left Earth with the Guardians of the Galaxy folks. They seemed nice, though you would've loved to have them during Tony's... Well.

Scott had his family, so you didn't really see him much. Though, you did appreciate him coming to support Tony at the farmhouse.

Everyone else seemed to have not been all that bothered. Though they were sad, they got over it quickly, which you couldn't blame them. He did what he wanted in life. He had Pepper, a wonderful little girl, and knew he saved the world- and even the universe.

But you... You were the one hit the hardest.

You never really showed it on the surface, but you were absolutely devasted.

For every smile and words of encouragement you gave to the mourning team, was another sobbing session when you were alone. It was another moment spent in the dark, alone, quiet and reflecting. It was another moment that you wallowed with bloodshot eyes and a sore throat.

You knew Tony far before he even knew the Avengers, before Pepper, before he had become the infamous billionaire playboy he was.

You were there for him at his lowest. You knew him when he lost his parents. You were the one that comforted him for his loss. You were there when he first hired Peppers. You gave him advice on how to go about wooing a woman like that, despite not having any experience with women. You were there when he first made his suit. He even made you one, but you never really bothered to use it; just as a trophy that stands in your closet.

You kept all of the newer models he made you, too. Even the nano-tech one.

A bittersweet reminder of your friendship with him.

You were there when he first proposed to Peppers. You helped him buy the ring, knowing that he had some atrocious taste in romantic things. You were there when he fought against Thanos. You were there, nearly dead on the ground, watching with bleary eyes as he held Peter in his hands.

Or what was left of him, at least.

You were there for him on the spaceship, stuck with Nebula. Sweet girl, though she needed a bit more time with other folks. You weren't sure if Tony was the right one for her to learn how to interact with people.

You were there when you heard Tony record what seemed to have been his final words for Pepper. You were standing in the doorway where Tony couldn't see you.

You heard him sigh and lie down. You heard his breathing go quiet. You lifted him up onto the chair. You made sure he was comfortable, in case this was his last time sleeping.

You were there when Tony called out to you and Nebula in with fervor. You saw the flash of light with him. You saw his hopeful smile and tearing eyes.

You were there with him when you all returned to Earth. You supported him as you were met with the team, or what was left anyways. You gave him to Peppers, who greeted him with tears and kisses.

You helped him into the medbay.

You saw Tony's meltdown. You saw him collapse. You were the first one to him.

You supported him throughout the five years that had passed. You saw him get better. You saw him marry Peppers; you were his best man, after all. You supported him with a smile and a speech of only love and support for him and his newly wedded wife.

You were there when he cut off nearly all connections with the team. Though they did make sure to check up on you two, it was mainly through you. You didn't mind. You understood Tony's motives, but you knew he still cared for the team.

You were there when he had announced Pepper was expecting. You cried and laugh of tears of joy. You congratulated them and went home that night thinking constantly of names for the child.

You were there when the child was born. Tad bit ugly, but she was but a newborn and you really couldn't blame her for being... Mildly disgusting looking. But the expression from the couple only made you suppress those feelings of disgust and all you could do was coo at the baby.

You often visited him at his retirement home with Peppers. You saw him struggle to become a good father- often fretting over Morgan as she grew up to become more curious, adventurous, reckless, even. Though you would never dare to tell them, you were the one that egged her on to do things that made Tony grow more white hairs, a startling reminder of his age.

You comforted him when he worried about becoming like his father. You knew he wouldn't, but he just couldn't get it into his thick skull.

You made sure she was always safe but relaxed as the times went on. Every time you saw him, you were always reminded of his age. He was getting older by the minute, which made you sad. As you kept visiting, you always left with a melancholic smile. It made you feel awful, seeing someone you care a bit too much age so rapidly.

You were happy for him, truly. While he was living his life happily so, you hated how you felt as each time you saw him, another wrinkle appeared.

You didn't keep up with him as much as you would've liked during the next few years. He had a family now, and you had to respect that, even if they kept telling you otherwise.

Maybe it was how you felt each time you see his smile lines appear deeper than before. Maybe it was because you felt as if you were becoming too dependent on him for happiness.

You eventually stopped visiting altogether, though you two did call often. They seemed to not have noticed, but that was more than fine with you. You were just happy that they were happy.

That Tony was happy.

You can't really recall what happened in that time span. You ate better, you helped the team gather any sources on how to get the people lost back. You... ah, you can't really remember much.

Though, it all picks back up when you heard a car skid onto your driveway. Seeing the recognizable car, you knew it was Tony. He was in a rush; gave you a hug, then shoved you into his car. Drove off with godspeed. You swore he was trying to kill you, but that didn't matter now.

He drove you to the Avengers facility building. You hadn't been there in weeks. He says something about time travel mumbo jumbo, you couldn't really care less.

That was where it all picked up, though a bit too fast as you would've preferred.

He found the jackpot to time travel. The plan was to gather all of the stones, considering the current ones are gone. There were a few fuckups here and there, and there was the loss of Natasha for the soul stone. But there wasn't any other way. You only silently nodded in consolidation with Tony.

You saw Tony make a gauntlet strong enough to withstand the stones. You saw Bruce wield its power, albiet it was taking a toll on him. He snapped, it was white, and he was on the floor.

Then, there was a blast.

You were the first to shield Tony from it, granted it was because you were the closest to him. You were the first to pull him from the rubble and right next to him when he got Steve. You were right behind him when you, Thor, Tony, and Steve saw the ever so familiar bastard sitting there, a few hundred feet away from them.

You were there with them as you fought him so valiantly. He was just as strong as you remembered him to be. He flicked away Tony like he was a bug, and nearly ripped your arm off. Thor thankfully hit him with his ax, but he was in more of a pickle then you were. Just as Thor was about to be killed, you watched with wide eyes as Steve lift Thor's hammer up and wreak havoc on Thanos.

You thought that would've been the end of it.

But then, somewhere along the line, it all went to shit. All of a sudden. Steve was the one being hammered into the ground.

Thanos was ruthless. Punch after punch, kick after kick, he didn't even let Steve try.

It was pathetic.

Thor was down for the count, having his ax nearly be embedded into his chest.

You couldn't feel your arm, though your powers helped only a little bit. You were sure it was a lost cause. It was disgusting to look at.

Steve was struggling. Beaten, bruised, and bloody to high heavens, you wondered how he was still alive.

And Tony... You were sure Thanos loathed him the most.

Tony took a damn beating, you were sure of it. You struggled to wake him up, even if you knew this was the end for you all. There was no one else left to fight. God knows where Clint, Scott, Bruce, and everyone else was. Probably dead.

You knew you were to be joining them soon. Though, you wished you could've said a bit more to Tony while it lasted. A few regrets, that was all.

Thanos' army was gathering behind him. It reminded you of the Chitari accident in 2012. Or was it 2014? You couldn't bother to remember then. Only this time, it was far, far more horrifying than before.

All you knew was that you lost all hope. It was done, over.

That is, until you saw bright, orange flashes from behind you. You saw Steve's silhouette as the sky seemingly broke apart from behind him.

Familiar circle portals lit up the sky. It made your stomach drop, but only in the best ways possible.

There was one. Then five. Then twenty. Then too much for you to count.

Against Thanos' large army stood the army that fought against them. An army you recognized as the Wakandan soldiers, and stood before them was their king.

There were others that you saw had fallen fate to the snap; both Peters- Spiderman and Star-Lord. Dr. Strange, who had a look you knew meant that this was heading in the right direction of that one possibility where you won. There was even Pepper, wearing the suit Tony made for her. There were so much, and they were all ready and prepared to fight for their lives.

It sent shockwaves through your body, but it was only pure hope. Hope that, yes, you all did have a chance once again at victory. You saw Tony wake up and wide-eyed, but you only gave him a reassuring smile.

There was hope.

There was yelling. Then silence.

Then chaos.

The two sides charged at each other, and it was brutal. Far more brutal than when it was just the four of you and Thanos.

Everywhere you saw, punched, and fought was only filled with screams and blood. It was chaotic, yes, but you only focused on preventing Thanos from getting his damn hands on that gauntlet.

It went through too many people, you couldn't really recount who it was. There was Steve, then T'Challa, then Peter. Then there was explosions.

Too many.

Your lungs were burning. Your ears were ringing. Your eyes were filled with ash and smoke, but you could only try your best to stay out of the firing range. Your heart sped up. What was happening? Where was the gauntlet? Where was Thanos?

Where was Tony?

Your body was burning at this point, too exhausted to carry on. But you couldn't stop, you could only take cover under Dr. Strange's shields.

They stopped. You all looked up. The cannons were facing somewhere else. You squinted. Right where the cannons aimed was a bright light which brought a smile to your face.

Shooting through the large ship overhead, you saw that same beam of light come crashing down far from where you were.

'Carol...'

You had murmured. You shakingly stood back up and saw her shoot away again, this time she was heading for something.

A van?

You were lost, but you still knew what the end game was. Get Carol to where she needed to be, and get Thanos away from the stones.

It was all a blur at this point.

You fought as valiantly as you could. Tony came swinging by. The van exploded. Carol fought him, but he still got the gauntlet on. Tony launched himself and tried to prevent him from snapping. Thanos threw him to the side. Your stomach dropped as he held his hands up, then snapped. But...

Nothing happened.

You sat there wounded, in shock.

He opened his palm.

The stones were gone. All that was left were empty holes, where the stones should've been.

Your eyes travel to Tony. So does Thanos'.

It's on his arm.

You wanted to smile, thankful that Tony's nano-tech had snatched the stones as quickly as they did. But you couldn't.

Only then, did you realize what Dr. Strange had seen in his one chance that we won. And you didn't like it one bit.

The stones lit up his suit as the cracks formed. It crawled its way into his neck, and side of his face. His skin was turning a dark purple. Then nearly gray. It looked charred.

Similar to that of your timeline's Thanos. And Bruce's.

It was destroying his arm.

You tried to reach out for him, but a familiar orange shield lit up your vision. You turned around. Dr. Strange could only look at you with a pained look.

He held up a finger. You knew the gravity that that one motion held.

Your vision got blurry as you could only turn back to Tony. Your lips quivered. The stones had been kind to Bruce, Thanos even. But they were large. They were strong. And they barely lived through the damage caused. But Tony?

Tony was just a human.

He struggled to hold it up. He said something, you couldn't really remember what he said. It was too quiet in the surrounding of destruction. Time seemed to slow down at this point

Then, he snapped.

A bright flash of light came from him. A wave washed over everyone. For a moment, silence.

One by one, then by the tens to thousands, there was ash everywhere. The giant flying monsters above your head crashed into the land only for the dust to be left. Thanos' soldiers dropped one by one, midway fight.

You felt nearly 6 years worth of relief send shockwaves through you. Tears flooded your eyes as you let out a strained but quiet cry.

That was it. That was the possibility that had given you all the victory over Thanos.

But at what cost?

You went past Thanos, who at this point could only watch as his empire be blown away, and straight to Tony. He didn't look good. No.

He looked awful. Half of his head was burnt. You were sure it was all just muscle there, though it was too charred for you to tell. No hair. Was that his skull that was peaking through?

Your eyes diverted themselves from his head.

You set him on the wall nearest to him. You propped him up, though he wasn't giving much effort to sit up. His eyes were glazed over. His arm was limp. His breathing was unsteady.

And so were yours.

'Tony, hey bud...!'

You whimpered out to him. Looking back on it now, you wished you would've said something else.

Tony's eyes barely registered that you were there.

There was rapid footsteps coming from behind you. Your eyes were glazed over with too much tears to be able to recognize who it was, but you moved to the side anyways. Hearing the familiar voice you knew it was Peter.

'Mr. Stark...! We won...!'

Tony didn't respond. His eyes looked directly at Peter's, but you knew he just.

Wasn't there. Not entirely, anyway.

You held your head down. He was struggling to keep himself together. He held Tony's face. You could tell he was about to break down any moment now.

Another pair of footsteps came up behind you.

It was Peppers.

You stood up shaking. The tears were unstoppable. She sat down next to him, but you looked away.

You heard her murmur sweet nothings to him.

'You did well... You can rest now...'

You whimpered quietly. Someone came up to you and held you close, but you were far too gone to even bother caring.

Despite the fact that you had won a long and miserable fight, you could only cry among the cheers of victory.

It shouldn't have been him.

You're sat in your lofty apartment alone.

It's been nearly a year since then. The world was getting it's mess back together and is trying so hard to move on. The team had moved on, and those not even with the Avengers had moved on.

Even Pepper and Morgan, who had Tony ripped from their family's hands, was doing well. Considering the circumstances, anyways.

But not you.

No, you never really moved on from him. You were nowhere near close to beginning the healing process either.

You never showed this side to anyone. Though you were sure that some had noticed something off with you. But you were always sure to put up a good front to convince everyone.

Or maybe that was to convince yourself.

Sometimes, you wished that Tony had never cracked the code to time travel. That Scott was stuck in the quantum realm for... Well, forever. As morbid as that was for you to think.

But you knew that was far too selfish of you. You had your fair share of Tony in your life. You were growing old.

But life without Tony just seemed a thousand times more miserable than you had remembered. You had spent months without seeing him last time, why was this time so different?

Well, that didn't really matter anymore.

You were tired, despite having lived a loving life. Old, despite being far, far younger than Tony. Alone, despite having countless friends there for you.

But what did that matter if Tony wasn't there with you?

You didn't bother anymore.

Your phone was ringing constantly nowadays, it seems.

24 from Wanda. 16 from Bucky. 45 from Bruce. 31 from Sam. There was a bunch more, too.

But you had gotten tired from scrolling. You turned your phone off and sighed.

You strained to lie down on your messy bed. You glanced at your arm. Or lack of it.

You shook your head.

You lied down.

It was dark in your room despite barely being noon.

You closed your eyes.

You breathed in and out.

Your body finally relaxed in what seemed like a long time.

Your thoughts lingered on a lot of things. Your time with the Avengers. Your memories with Tony. Your regrets that... You wished you had the chance to tell him.

A lot of things crossed your mind. But they won't really matter now.

The only thing you remembered before your vision finally went black was the banging on your door and the bitter taste of pills still lingering in your mouth.

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