#sigh im just venting

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye

#im still So Inconsistent when scribbling him #he never comes out the same way twice #but then again. do any of us? #anyway i think the Misfortune of the past week finally killed my brain #its a tiny smoking poppy seed resting in the middle of my skull floor #too much all at once. cant art anymore #i keep pulling out my tablet and setting up to draw #and then i stare at the screen feeling mild to intense discomfort #i try to scribble. it comes out Horrible. #i put my tablet away and go stand in the middle of the kitchen #i come back to scroll on tumblr #i feel Despair. rinse and repeat #scribble salad #is it distressing? yes! one more to add to the ever-growing pile! #i need to start pre-packing for my inevitable move #sigh... dont wanna go.... #but its not like i have a choice! i quite literally have a single option which is to say! no option at all! #apparently if im in a constant state of severe stress for long enough my creativity completely breaks. shattered right down the middle #too exhausted. the Despair is too strong #and once again i am accidentally venting on a scribble post! sorry! please ignore this im just Saying Shit

[sister-lucifer]

please come on there’s gotta be SOMEONE out there desperately in love with me please. please please

#yearn posting #im having issues chat #send help #feeling unfortunately very undesirable rn #vent #sort of #tagging just in case #sigh

[beebopurr]

I think I have just put less and less effort into my art over time bc genuinely I don't think it even matters when it comes to how well a piece is recieved 💀 bc yeah I could spend 18 hours making a finished piece.. or I could just draw up a shitty pandering sketch and it will get twice the likes

#vent ig? #idk im just #sigh #theres no point in being exceptional if nobody gives a fuck yknow?

[nixiecat]

on the topic of my previous post, I'm also mad about a post I made getting tagged with something along the lines of "not to be bisexual but..... etc"

which like

implying that the only reason you're attracted to me is because you're bisexual? which makes you... a bit of an asshole? especially since I said IN THE POST that I am a GIRL it just. it makes me mad as hell.

sorry to vent so much I've just been seeing more and more stuff like this and the previous post thing that have been pissing me off

#can we please put a little more thought and consideration into the way we interact with people? #like i am a real person and the things ya'll say about me do hurt sometimes #like i am a GIRL. there is nothing bisexual about being attracted to me #im just tired of ppl not putting any thought or care into how they interact with my content #sigh #vent #nixie is normal

[system-of-a-feather]

I think a thing that is frustrating about neurotypicals as someone with autism and auditory / language processing issues (yet to be explicitly diagnosed to my knowledge) is how little they understand neurological differences and disabilities in processing things like hearing and yet they feel like they understand it to a sufficient level.

Case in point, today at work one ofbmy coworkers got all mad and offended because I was "rude and disrespectful" because in the morning, while thinking about the things I needed to do and thought of an important question before I could start my question to ask my mentor, asked the question and she was talking and thus I interrupted her. Yes, rude now that I KNOW she was talking and so I apologize, but I really hate the implied intent or lack of caring put with the "autistic interruption" shit

Ignoring social cues and rules aside, I *literally* didn't realize / process she was talking. Of course, I'm not deaf or HoH so I can't say that because "How could I not hear her? She was speaking loud enough to know" and there is a HUGE difference between *hearing* and *processing* and so when they always give the advise of be more considerate / think before you speak or tell you the social rule to not interript cause its rude, it doesn't help like at all

Cause yes, I KNOW that and I DO think before I speak. I just *literally* didnt process her speech as speech and it was filtered as white noise.

Its like going into a busy and loud club and saying "dont speak if the guy two tables down is talking"

Like yeah, maybe I COULD hear that he is talking among the 50000 other people talking, but Im not processing him talking as distinct from the ambient noise around me.

#actuallyautistic #language processing disorder #auditory processing disorder #auditory issues #auditory processing issues #vent #vent tw #autism #neurotypicals #neurotypicals /derogatory #feel free to reblog or add on #im just sighing this is why we are quitting fuck all #alter: chunn #<- mostly

[neuroticboyfriend]

me: wow, now that i'm sober i'm beginning to feel the drive and energy to do things i enjoy. let me crochet a new book cover.

uncontrollable circumstances: hey about that uh, you're crippled. you can't do that atm. you're gonna have to settle for something else.

me, one mental breakdown later: okay. i doodled and wrote. but can i play this cool videogame i used to play?

uncontrollable circumstances: ahah oh, well, you see... your laptop doesn't have enough storage and you're too broke to buy a better one. maybe try playing the one with shittier graphics and feel dysphoric while doing the character creation?

me, filled with rage: no. i am going to commit atrocities

#are there things to do? yes #are they what would make me happiest and interest me most in that moment? no! #it's such a small problem but i fucking hate it! #can i have one win! can i please just enjoy something without having to be REMINDED OF MY LACK OF CONTROL OVER MY LIFE #sigh #sorry for the venting #im going insane #julian rants #vent #addiction recovery

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!! #im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

[seariii]

hmm...

#vent post #seari talks #i feel a little scared... just thinking about the stuff i need to do... and i got a message that i cant answer on my own and the person who #i need the answer from wasnt... helpful... i dont know what to say now... i should say i'll look into it or something... but... #sigh... the whole situation is difficult since i have to... *big sigh* fuck... #if this goes wrong... will they blame me? what will happen to me?... i did ask back in the day... i have the messages... so technically im #safe but... sigh... how stressful... #and i have to check all of this other stuff too... #... i dont like this... i so dont like this... but its okay its gonna be okay... its just the beginning that its scary but once we actually #start running everything will get easier and easier and more comfortable and.... sigh... #for now... lets do what we- fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck who sent me a message fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck #i dont wanna open the message #*checks* okay everything will be okay... everything will be okay.... yes... *sigh* #IM OKAY EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY!!!! #i just have to focus on the matters at hand. i reported this so its gonna get reviewed now. and what i need to do is this other thing... #and study i have to do that too... and read that too... okay thats not difficult ive got this

[wilsonthemoose]

Teachers who set extremely personal topics for class presentations are the worst.

Analyze yourself according to all the theories we've discussed and present your development to the class.

Excuse?

#Like ok it's not even that this class is full of vipers #In general. This is a shitty idea. #It's not even just the freud theory. It's a shitty idea whichever way you look at it #Vent #Sincerely contemplating halfarsing this one. #She's also horrible at marking. My paper went really well and she gave me 70%. So why even bother #'i never give full marks' well mam i never give my full effort to teachers who dont give full marks good day to you. #(im furious can you tell) #(it's not about the gpa it's about the effort i put in vs the result i got) #Sigh

[genderjester]

It truly is nobody's fault but my brain has such a deeply annoyed kneejerk response when someone overexplains something very simple i already know to me. Even if i know they mean well. But it always makes me feel like the other person sees me as childish or stupid 💀 Same with some ways some ppl go awww at me like im not a dog. Anyways this is something i just need to figure out how to communicate but its just something that frustrates meeeeeee.

#nobody on here obviously i wouldnt post this here if that was the case #also. one person where its like weve seen each other a few times in group settings and we hung out twice just us two #and i like this person but. #respectfully. sometimes she acts just a bit overfamiliar in a way that grinds. my gears. and this is my responsibility to communicate obv #but for a minute i need to vent my frustration on here asbngnsk #its just kinda. i know its meant well when shes like oh u can always call me if youre feeling depressed and stuff. #and i appreciate the gesture #but also. gonna be real. we're not really at the point where im like comfortable spilling my heart #and idk. i dont need aww🥺 when i feel depressed im not sad depressed im angry and empty and frustration depressed #anyways that is it for me complainingggg #it's my job to communicate these things. #bc obv ppl cant intuit these things if i dont tell them #and tbh its also. week before my period so my brain is extra cranky. but idk i just. as i said. needed to vent some feelings. sigh #sel talks

[6-2-aestheticsofhate]

Having a normal one today lads

#if i dont. respond or interact w someone today im sorry just. vaguely not in a great place mentally rn #sigh #i dont wanna get into it but #most of you whove been following for a while know the stuff ive been through. #its kind of taken more of a toll on me than i thought #having a rough day where i dont wanna be percieved by others. #personal #vent

[teknikolor-walters]

the urge to overshare on the internet vs. the fear of being a burden to my friends and worrying yall

#sighs. sighs #i. uh #im sorry #i love u all #so much #none of this is your fault #i just #you know when i said today was my origially planned date but i wasnt gonna do it #yeah #well #that aged terribly #i dont know #i think there are a lot of benefits to me killing myself but i dont wanna traumatize anyone and i dont want anyone to mourn me #i wish i could just fade away #have nobody remember me #if i do stop being a fucking coward and actually go through with it. just rmember that i love you. so so so fucking much #you guys are some of the best people in the world #dont ever forget it #cicadas vent tag

[nosleep83]

First time venting here for a while sure yall missed it (/j) I FUCKING HATE THE BOYS IN TRACK WHO ACT LIKE IM SLOW CAUSE IM AFAB 👹👹👹👹 NO BICTH IM SLOW CAUSE I HAVENT DONE A SPORT BEFORE I HAVENT GONE OUT OF MY WAY TO RUN/EXERCISE I AM A NERD NOT A JOCK SHUT THE FUVK UP!!!!!!!!!!!

#sigh cis boys #sometimes i wish i was oke of you just so i could flex how much better i am #better man then they r if im being honest #sleep vents #sleep talks