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gayelderstourney · 9 months

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OLD MAN YAOI BRACKET ROUND 1

Propaganda:

Sir Alistair Hammerlock/Wainwright Jakobs:

THEY ARE CANONICALLY MARRIED!!!!! THEY ARE FORCE/FINESSE SUN/MOON SALT/SUGAR. THEY ARE SILLY GENTLEMEN WHO ARE IN LOVE. HAMMERLOCK IS A VICTORIAN BIG GAME HUNTER LIFTED STRAIGHT FROM A STEAMPUNK NOVEL WHO IS ALL ABOUT ADVENTURE AND WAINWRIGHT IS A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN HEIR TO A GUN MANUFACTURING MEGACORPORATION WHO HAS SMALL AMBITIONS. OPPOSITES ATTRACT ULTIMATE INCARNATION. THE THEMES AND MOTIFS AND PARALLELS BETWEEN THEM ARE IMPECCABLE. THEY SUPPORT EACHOTHER UNCONDITIONALLY AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY. HAMMERLOCK THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND HE RECORDED WHAT HE THOUGHT WERE GOING TO BE HIS LAST WORDS AND HE SAYS, I QUOTE: "but I long not for death seeking adventures, but instead for one… last… peaceful… moment… with you. I love you, Wainwright. Farewell." DID I MENTION HAMMERLOCK HAS A NICKNAME FOR WAINWRIGHT. HE CALLS HIM Winny AND IT MELTS MY HEART EVERY TIME. GOD THEY GET MARRIED IN THE CORPSE OF AN ELDRITCH GOD AND THEIR WEDDING IS AN ENTIRE DLC. IT ALSO COVERS THEIR RESPECTIVE DOUBTS THAT MAYBE THEY AREN'T THE RIGHT MAN FOR EACHOTHER BUT IN THE END THEY REALIZE THAT IT'S NOT TRUE AND THE OTHER LOVES HIM SO SO SO MUCH JUST LIKE HE IS. I AM SO SO AUTISTIC ABT THEM THEY ARE PEAK OLD MAN YAOI BUT THEY ARE VIRTUALLY UNKNOWN IN THE OLD MAN YAOI COMMUNITY. PLEASE.

They have an entire DLC about their wedding. Their base game story arc starts with Wainwright calling you to ask you to go on a rescue mission to save Hammerlock and calling him the love of his life.

There is a whole game DLC dedicated to their canonical marriage, they constantly call each other by pet names, every single time they talk about one another there is passion in their voices, they express how much they love and care for each other.

Irving Bailiff/Burt Goodman:

they are TRAPPED in capitalist dystopian hell and yet gay love persists. literally they are fighting for their got damn lives to be gay. they've been subjected to evil fucked up brain surgery to make them forget who they are outside of the workplace and yet. AND YET. they fall in love INSIDE the workplace and gain the desire to fight their oppressors so they can do old man yaoi activities. i forgot to take my adderall today sorry im not forming coherent thoughts but they made christopher walken yaoi real

They have only ever experienced being at work and are desperately trying to find meaning with no memory of the outside world. Fraternization is against the rules as well. The yearning is so much.

they are 2 sad old men who are in forbidden love. they bond over a mutal love of corporate art & company tote bags. their love inspired Irving to rebel against his employers for the first time ever. Burt is even Christopher Walken.

They’re so quietly sweet and heart-wrenching… fell in love on the ‘inside’ (they both work a job that ‘severs’ their work memories from their out-of-work memories; inside the job, they have no idea who they are on the outside or what the world is like, but they found each other and found a little bit of love and meaning and happiness inside the nightmare corporate world that is their job)

canonically in love with each other! in the show people sever their consciousness so they aren't aware when they're working. this creates a separate person that only exists while they're at the office, who doesn't share any memories with the person they are on the outside. these two old men bond and find comfort in each other despite the dystopian hell situation they're in

Old men having a forbidden romance while stuck in a hellish workplace dystopia

These two old men know nothing outside of their company propaganda, which says romance is forbidden, and they still choose each other. They bond over paintings, discuss company policy in each other's arms like they're debating scripture on whether their love is allowed. They're sooo gay and it's so sweet to see true, canonical old man yaoi

Weird old man office romance except they only exist inside the bounds of the world’s worst office building and they go on a little date to a room full of plastic plants

#polls #round 1 #gay elders tourney #tournament poll #sir alistair hammerlock #wainwright jakobs #borderlands #wainlock #irving bailiff #burt goodman #severance

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vaulthunterlands · 2 months

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slides into your asks. do you have any hcs or ideas or anything for hammylock n wained wright

I do! Not a ton because my brain has been goop lately but I do have some.

Hammerlock and Wainwright's favorite television genre? Baking shows.

It depends on the day if it's Wainwright or Hammerlock that has the most criticism of the baker's work

"Alistair, do you *see* that?! I could make a better butterscotch cake with a bullet in my gut and my hands tied behind my back."

"Winny, we're watching the kid's baking championship. That baker is nine years old."

Gaige will sometimes watch with them and she finds their commentary hilarious

Wainwright and Hammerlock both give off that vibe that they'd sleep in those old pajamas with the long stocking caps. I can't decide which would be funnier but I'm leaning towards Wainwright.

Wainwright loves spice. Can he handle it? Not always. But he loves spice. He and Moze often make food as spicy as humanly possible (they then get scolded by Hammerlock for wasting food when they can only eat a few bites)

I do feel like they'd have a very cute relationship with Ava. It's canon that she loved hearing Maya's stories so I can imagine Hammerlock reciting stories of his own grandeur to Ava.

Wainwright teaches her how to use a shotgun more effectively.

Wainwright also has those caramel candies that grandpas always give out. Those who know what I mean can remind me of their name.

I hope this was good! I really love Wainlock as a ship but I had to let the ideas come to me more naturally so they weren't forced. I think everyone needs more Wainlock in their life tbh. (Excited for the wedding DLC...)

#borderlands #borderlands 2 #borderlands 3 #Wainlock #Wainwright jakobs #sir alistair hammerlock #sir hammerlock #alistair hammerlock #gaige the mechromancer #ava the apprentice #moze the gunner

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wittness · 4 days

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Hammerlock and Wainwright. Obviously

hammerlock’s entire character association is hunter / collector ( which i would’ve added to aesthetic if it fit ), pfft. he’s a little nuts given a lot of the creatures he’s after. the apple juice is just. i dunno, i feel like he’d enjoy apple juice, it’s good stuff.

half filled in for protect because we all know he can “damn well handle himself just fine”. also don’t ask me about the soup association, because i have no idea..

comment / send asks for more here.

#borderlands #borderlands 2 #bl2 #borderlands 3 #bl3 #alistair hammerlock #wainwright jakobs #sir alistair hammerlock #jakobs family #wainwrightjakobshammerlock #asks #ask meme #blorbo chart

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motherboard-messtm · 2 days

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I cannot wait for my husband to see this so now everyone else has to as well >:)

~hammerlock made this post! :)~

#wainlock #alistair hammerlock #sir alistair hammerlock #borderlands #wainwright jakobs #wainwright borderlands #hammerlock borderlands

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general-kalani · 1 year

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Honestly, Hammerlock should be allowed to swear. As a treat for all the bullshit he’s had to deal with over 2 games and a few dlc’s. He deserves it.

#borderlands #sir alistair hammerlock #this has been brought to you by a random person on the internet

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necromaxic · 1 month

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my favourite sibling rivalry

#aurelia hammerlock #alistair hammerlock #sir hammerlock #lady hammerlock #hammerlock siblings #borderlands #borderlands fanart #borderlands 2 #borderlands the pre sequel #digital art #my art

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mothsgotghosts · 5 months

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"Play borderlands 2" my friend said. "You'll like it" he said. What he didn't know is that it would make me insane about the entire franchise. Anyway the Hammerlock siblings make me so sad, watch this edit I made:

Yeah I'm normal about them ok bye

#i lied about being normal im Insane #the line in this song that goes like #so i did the only thing that i could and severed the rope that set you sailing from my harbor #also fits them #borderlands #alistair hammerlock #borderlands 3 #aurelia hammerlock #sir hammerlock #borderlands edit

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time-awa-y · 13 days

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Alistair hammerlock and Aurelia hammerlock are the true gay son, thot daughter sibling duo

#alistair hammerlock #aurelia hammerlock #borderlands #borderlands 2 #borderlands 3 #sir hammerlock #boderlands the pre sequal

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unpopularshipbracket · 9 months

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Round 4 Match 1

Sir Hammerlock/Wainwright Jakobs (Borderlands 3)

fic count: 82

"Literally canon married and gay and in love. They are moon/sun they are force/finesse they are opposites attract they are fine gentlemen who are so silly. Their wedding is an entire dlc and they get marrried in the dead corpse of a god. They have guns and use them but in a silly way not in a cringe way. They canonically fuck nasty also. The epitome of old man yaoi."

Shang Qinghua/Noodle Guy (The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System)

fic count: 5

"This is the inherent romanticism of the one person who knows you best, and also of bonding by sharing food. Shang Qinghua (SQH) is a canon character in svsss, and Noodle Guy (Noodle NPC) is an oc made up by someone who thought it would be funny if the person who knew SQH best wasn't a named character but just a random noodle stall owner who listens to his troubles that SQH has been visiting for years. The author made him up, and proceeded to write a fic with THIS summary: "Where a man loves Shang Qinghua for his whole life. It changes nothing." And broke everyone's hearts because how dare this author make us care about Noodle Guy and then make him die with unrequited love HOW DARE"

#svsss #svsss sqh #scum villains self saving system #scum villian self saving system #sqh #shang qinghua #noodle guy #noodle npc #noodle guy svsss #svsss noodle guy #borderlands 3 #borderlands #sir hammerlock #alistair hammerlock #wainwright jakobs #wainlock

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confessions-from-the-bloglands · 5 months

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